Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL SHOW: Ben nearly sends Megan a D*ck pick!

Episode Date: June 10, 2024

ON THE SHOW TODAY Jonos vulnerable replay all email... DM: Should he stop being friends with her? The best uber rating! Jonos button rage No sick days! Megans new cafe experience Things you can say in the bedroom and... doing your taxes Facebook: The Hits Breakfast with Jono and Ben Instagram: TheHitsBreakfastSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This John Owen Ben podcast, hey that's us, brought to you by HelloFresh, the experts and tastes that Kiwis love. And now it was just last week that we had a laugh at the fact that Gen Z producer Grace replied to an email that we weren't even on actually to be honest. No, and we mocked her and me in particular on my ivory tower looking down down, going, look at you silly gins there, having a crack at us boomers for our tech mishaps. Boy, oh boy, I tell you what, Taylor Swift, as calm as her boyfriend, it also turns out calm is cheating on Taylor with Grace as well, because karma is your boyfriend. You've made that real confusing. What are you trying to say?

Karma's bit Johnno in the bum. Yeah, that's what he's saying. I don't know why Grace's relationship came into it. Too early for complicated karma messages. I found myself in a bit of a hole there. I don't know if you could notice. Yeah, definitely didn't notice. Yeah, so yesterday, our boss Harriet, we're doing like a hit,

so get together conference boot camp thing. And she was like, I need some, a bit of information about each year via a little, kind of a secret about it, because we're going to play a little get to know each other game so this is everyone knows there's a secret stuff about yourself i'll take it off the grid because everyone's going to be able to guess who the person is later yeah and old mate replies all to 30 people with his you know 30 people yeah and then we're like, oh, God. And then in under 45 seconds, producer Taylor, who takes great joy in this,

fired back with, will you be able to send that to everyone? I love the mate. I was like, this sounds like a bit of a Harriet only reply, which is our boss. And then Harriet to go back and go, oh, sorry, I should have specified.

Like, it was pretty obvious. Yeah, that was assumed. Because I was on my phone and I was like, why the hell is Jono sending me DNMs? Like, to me. It was quite deep and meaningful. It was. They were, like, interesting facts that no one knows about you.

And I'm reading it going, I don't want to read this on my Monday afternoon. And I was like, weird that he sent it to me. And then I was like, hang on. There's 30 people in this email. So now you've got to come up with new ones. Which, you know, it's hard in this job. Because we've spoken about everything.

That's right. Or any mildly interesting fact about yourself you use on the radio. And I thought, oh, those are two ones that aren't well known. Well, to be fair, I was like, damn it, because I would have got those. I was like, I would have got in for the win. Yeah, I know. It's one about me, 19 years old, being wrongly accused of a crime, stomping on cars when I was walking home from town.

They handcuffed me and took my boots for forensic testing and then dropped them off at home, my parents' house, three weeks later. So it turns out it wasn't you. I said, well, I was trying to tell you. Three hours. I was stealing cars, not stomping on them. So that was all I got. So I was trying to think of a new I was stealing cars not stomping on them so that was all I got so I was trying to think

of a new one so yeah apologies to the priors for generations they're going to live with this shame this reply all shame especially to everyone

in the radio industry too so they'll be like ugh then Ben Ben comes in with a boomer and then like honestly within three minutes

the drive show Maddie and PJ they're on the phone to me. Oh, they called you? They're like, oh, producer, we'll just check you on the air. And I was like, jeez, it really unraveled quickly. Oh, jeez. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

TM Megan. Okay, Megan. People slide into your DMs. They trust you. They like to share their dirty laundry with you. Then you air out the laundry on the radio. It's a full service. We get rid of stain removals, folding.

We do it all, don't we, with this dirty laundry. What's happening today, mate? All right. So this one, it's sticky. It says, hey, your team. I have a Dear Megan for you. I found out that my husband has slept with one of his friends. It was before we were together, but we hang out all the time

and I've always felt like she didn't like me much. I feel like he should have told me and he's been keeping it a secret. Now I don't want them hanging out, especially because she isn't nice to me. It makes me think that she still has feelings for him and that's where her hostility is coming from. What do I do now?

Please help. I want to know who told her. It feels like so much time's passed that he probably hasn't told her because, well, to be honest, he wanted to avoid awkward conversation. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe it's someone in the friend group. Some loose-lipped

nosy parker. It's tough though, eh? You can kind of see from his point of view why he didn't want to say anything and then you'd probably leave it too long and then you'd want to go, oh, guess what? By the way, this happened.

I mean, it does feel like you put it in the nice-to-know category in terms of information. It would have been nice-to-know. So, like you say, you would have ripped the plaster off early on and go, hang out with this person might have smooched we might have smooched back in the day but hey more than a smoke our rhythm was off our timing was all out of kilter and it just was never going to work yeah and so maybe that's the reason has she got a partner now

this new the the friend group girl doesn't say. Doesn't say, doesn't say. But she's saying, I think the bigger problem is, like, you could be fine if they were just friends and she was nice to you. But she's being unkind to her. So that makes you think that, you know, she's still got feeling for the husband. So the question is, does she ban him from seeing her? Yeah. Or not. Or is she chill with it?

Yeah. And quietly fester away over a number of years until she explodes. Let's get on with it. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. TM Megan. Where we get someone sliding into Megan's DMs and we get your thoughts on what they should do with a bit of a dilemma. So the issue is this person found out their husband has slept with one of their friends. It's someone they hang out with a lot.

But it was before they were together. But she says she's always felt like she didn't like her much. So there might be a bit of beef there. And she said because she doesn't like her much, she said maybe she still has feelings for him. What does she do now? I only want to know how she found out this information. Obviously there was some third party

troublemaking busybody who launched a grenade into the social battlegrounds and making this poor lady feel very insecure about life. Yeah. We don't want that. Ben, your advice to her? It's really hard. I kind of feel like the situation,

probably best if she didn't know. I understand why no one said anything. But now it's out there, the situation like you probably best that she didn't know like and you know like i understand why she no one said anything but now it's out there you kind of just have to kind of you're in a relationship you kind of have to just kind of suck it up and move on yeah really i mean it does feel like it'd be quite a big move to go well now you can't see each other for something that you've only just discovered this happened but it happened happened years ago. Yeah. So I don't know. You can't undo the bumping uglies, can you? The uglies have been bumped. Danique, you're on.

Hi there. Not referring to this lady as an ugly either. I really found myself in a bit of a trip up there. Sorry, Danique. Welcome. Your advice. So my advice would be these two things. Guys often don't mention X's because for them it's done they have

no relevance in terms of um meaning to them so he's probably kept her as a friend because their social group um calls for that however she should address the behavior with her husband so they can tackle it in terms of what she does with the friend it's just they don't have one-on-one time. They go hang out because I bet someone's told them because she's finding it really hard seeing them being really happy and living the life she probably wanted. So it's just spiteful. So she should just go live her life, be with her husband,

and any behaviours that happen that are inappropriate, they should just work it as a team. The point of telling someone this information is to try and get them to not be on the same page and cause a fight. Wow. Are you in a relationship? That's really good advice. Yeah, it's really good.

How much do we have to pay you for this session? I'm not qualified, so I can't get paid for it, but I'm just used to all the friends and their kind of relationships. I've kind of seen when people mention something far back in the past and it causes harm, it's usually with an intention of causing, you know, the two parties not to talk, for her to tell him to not see her, do all this, and it takes away actually what needs to be addressed, which is the behaviour.

So if, for example, she doesn't say hi or says nasty things or, like, if they're doing a friend thing and she tries to isolate, that's where the hubby can come in and be like, don't, me and her are a team, or no, that's not cool. If we're not going to do that or she's not invited, you know, we're not going to come. Wow. It's simple as that. Danique, that is rock solid advice there.

You've pretty much summed up the whole situation. You have. Really impressive. I appreciate you taking the time to call this morning. Danique, have a great day. You too. Bye. We've got an anonymous caller now wanting to chime in on this.

A lady's just discovered her husband did connect physically with someone in the friend group, but years previous, she's only found out about it. Now, what's your advice? Is this me? That's you. It's hard when you call yourself anonymous, isn't it? Could be any one of the anonymous people out there.

Oh, absolutely. I'm coming at it from the same point as the last caller, really. Like, why, you don't want to make something big out of something that was in the past. And ultimately, it's the behaviour, exactly the behaviour you want to deal with between the parties. Because, I mean, you want to be respectful to each other and a friendship.

So ultimately, you've won the man. It's already your husband. So, you know, you can't change what you can't change. That's right. There's only one person going home to him every night. Take him for a good old date. Yeah. Good on you.

Thank you very much for your call. So there you go. That's 100%. And even the text and Facebook messages as well going. What's in the past is in the past. If you've got an issue, talk with him. Yeah, or talk with the woman and be like, have you got an issue with me?

Just have it out. Was she the one that brought it? Anyway, we don't know who brought it up. As you say, we don't know who. No, but she's being mean to her. So just have it up with her. It's got nothing to do with you and your husband. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

On the podcast and yesterday on the radio, we talked about Jason Kelsey and Travis Kelsey. Travis Kelsey and her relationship with Tata Swift. Their podcast. And they talked about washing their feet. It started with somebody saying Jason Kelsey looks like he doesn't wash his legs or feet. Yeah, obviously. What kind of psychopath washes your feet?

What? Travis. Travis, don't act like you wash your feet. I'm not washing my feet every time. So they were very passionate about it. And we talked about it on the radio, didn't we? We put it out there and we're like, like you wash your feet. I'm not washing my feet every time. So they were very passionate about it. And we talked about it on the radio, didn't we? We put it out there and we're like, do you wash your feet or not? And I was like a firm backer in the fact that I wash my feet every time I'm in the shower.

Daily. Out of habit. Just out of habit. Heads down to the basement of the body. Yeah. And you were like, do you? Not every time. Because you have a good argument that obviously the soap and water kind of washes off anyway.

And you're standing in the soapy water. You don't tend to your knees below, do you? Not generally. Although I did wash my leg, like, right down to my feet last night. I thought about you guys in the shower. Well, this is what happened to me yesterday. So I went to the gym and, you know, in the afternoon came home from the gym and had a shower.

And I went through the usual routine, just, you know, what I did, washed myself. Pits and bits. And then as I got down to my feet and just, and I was like oh there you go I'm washing my feet I'm lifting my feet up and washing my feet I'm doing what I said I would do just out of habit so I had my phone out there and I was like I'll take a photo of my feet to send to Megan in the shower so I took a photo of my feet down there was kind of soapy thought after my shower put the phone back on the bathroom bench.

Thought I'd send that to Megan and go, ha, ha, I'm washing my feet. See, told you. Went to send the text, put the photo in the message, and then went, I better have a look at this photo again. Just thinking it's my feet in the shower. But what I didn't realize is that the drain is quite mirror-like and reflective. And so what I'd almost done, and thank God I didn't send it, and the photo has been deleted before you asked to see it,

is it got quite a good upshot back up. Straight up, yeah, up the undercarriage. So my feet are there. They're out there washed. They're clean. But I'm getting straight up towards them like, oh, God, thank God I didn't send that. Good on you for checking.

It's always a double take. I don't know why I checked, but I was on something I was just like, oh, it's thank God I didn't send that. Good on you for checking. It's always a double take. I don't know why I checked, but I was just like, oh, it's quite shiny down on the floor area. And then I was like, oh, that's like a mirror looking up towards. Risky photo conditions in any instance. Yeah, I know what I was thinking, to be honest. I've never sent a photo like that before and never will again. So I was like, oh, dear God, that's a cancelable offence

if I'd sent that to a work colleague. I would never have said anything I don't even think I would have brought it up on the radio if he said that

to me I 100% would have said something put it on our social media account exactly so you're lucky I didn't send that

to you very lucky I'm lucky I didn't send it to you otherwise I might not be here today

what does it look like from that angle because you don't usually get to see it it's not good to start off with it that is not a Otherwise, I might not be here today. What does it look like from that angle, too? Because you don't usually get to see it. Mate, it wasn't.

I mean, it's not good to start off with it. That is not a flattering angle. It's good that you can see it from that distance, though. You have your double chin going on and everything. You have to do one of those when you pinch the photo and just sort of like look at it. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. What ratings have you ever caught in Uber? They're kind of like a taxi, obviously,

but you get to rate the driver and they get to rate you. All very passive-aggressively as well. Yeah, true. You don't have to deal with the consequences of your rating. No, you're right. You kind of just go away and then go,

oh, what will I give this person? And hope you never see them again. I always give them five stars. I don't think I've ever given an Uber driver anything less than five stars. I have, just once. Have you? What happened to me? And Sidney, when he jumped a curb. We flew around a roundabout too fast I don't think I've ever given an Uber driver anything less than five stars. I have, just once. Have you?

What happened to me? And Sidney when he jumped a curb. We flew round and round about too fast. Yeah, sometimes they do. I thought we were going to crash. Yeah, he didn't mean to jump a curb. No, he didn't. Just go.

He jumped a curb, but still he seemed like a good driver. Five stars. Well, they've done a news article on which mayor in New Zealand has the best Uber rating. I don't know how they found out about the Uber ratings for the mayors. Yeah, you have to go to the app. Yeah, and then do they look? Can you look? Is it private information? Now, before you name the mayor, do we know the mayor?

Well, I'd say no. Okay, so it's not Wayne Brown. Wayne Brown's got a rating of, not bad, 4.7. That is not bad. Yeah, so in the ones listed, he was the lowest, but I think they haven't gone into every Awkward mayor. 4.7. That is not bad. Yeah, so he, in the ones listed, he was the lowest, but I think they haven't gone into every sort of mayor. What about Tory Fano for Wellington mayor? Not mentioned in the ones in here, in this article.

Mayor Neil Holdom from New Plymouth. It's perfect. Five out of five stars. Wow. How many overs is he catching? Well, he's happy to chat to the drivers. Doesn't tell them what he does, but likes to have a bit of a chat. So, yeah.

Once you've got that rating, though, it becomes a badge of honour. You've got five out of five stars on your Uber. Yes, I do. And now you were yelling at Megan the other night because it was on your Uber, right? Yeah, I didn't want her to ruin it. You're like, get out of the Uber. I've got five stars. I was drunkenly wandering across the road so it warranted a bit of a yelling at but you keep your five star right i have a five star rating the national

average if you're interested is 4.88 is the national average and once you get under five you won't be able to get back to five i don't want to see why the pressure is on you i took the uber driver's shoes accidentally one time. That was... What rating did he give you? Well, yeah, because I was clearing out stuff from the boot after like a really wet Warriors game. I was just grabbing stuff from the boot.

We'd put on our jackets and stuff in the boot. And then I came home and I was like, whose shoes are these? Did he get the Cinderella? Then I had to contact him. I was like, oh, jeez, I've taken the Uber driver's shoes. They were just sitting in his boot. Did they get back to him?

Yeah, I had to contact him and take it back. Yeah, anyway, but I think that would have hurt my rating just a little bit. How many points do you lose for a soiling? Oh, I'd say not good. That's definitely one or two points, isn't it, for a soiling. What's your brown nine at the moment? I don't know why I'm 4.7. Because you bitched your moan about your mate in the train that drove over the curb.

I enjoy my life. I don't need to die in an Uber. 4.7. Oh, 4.9. Okay. Wow, I'm 4.87. Why am I the worst? You're chatty though.

You're really, you'd be punishing. Yeah. I haven't taken a man's shoes. He sits in the front seat as well too when there's no one in the back. I know, you're a pain in the ass. I know, you'd be like,

oh, mate. I sit in the back and mind my own business and I'm very polite. Yeah. Well, maybe a bit more engagement and less complaining about drivers running over curbs. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. Headlines, Megan trawls the internet for some mildly interesting headlines, clickbait headlines

that we could be into, and then she forms a consultation group and also consults with local iwi and ends up with these three headlines. Always intrigued to see which one you're going to pick. All right, here we go. Headline one, Tokyo City Hall stepping in to help your love life. That does interest me. In what way? You can't find it.

Okay. No further questions until you click on the article. Free marriages? Yeah. Okay. Headline number two, New York magnet fishers find makes his nerdy hobby all worth it. You know people who go magnet fishing? Like people who have those little like scanny things on the beach.

Yeah. Metal detectors. Yeah. Oh. And then like they chuck big magnets in. You really, when you see one of those rocking in January. Yeah. Oh, wow. Maybe they get a lot of stuff though. They do. That's what I'm thinking. Big magnets and You really When you see one of those Rocking in January Yeah Oh wow Maybe they get a lot of stuff

That's always what I'm thinking Yeah What kind of stuff Bikes and We had many We did a topic on it About a year ago And then it was like

The widows of metal detectors And then the wives And girlfriends Are phoning up And like I'll just sit on the beach Up and down the beach With these weird headphones on

And people judging him Yeah I'm judging him but anyway he finds some stuff and takes takes care of himself well this guy found some stuff okay all right headline number three scientists discover elephants are one of the few species that do something humans do every day ben i'm gonna leave it to you magnet fisher elephants and tokyo city hall dating i'm gonna go at magnet fisher because we've mocked we've mocked the the industry and to you. Magnet Fisher, elephants, and Tokyo City Hall dating. I'm going to go at Magnet Fisher

because we've mocked the industry and I feel like it could be interesting. I'm going to go with that one. Let's go there. Alright,

so this happened in New York. James Cain, he is a keen Magnet Fisher so he uses a powerful magnet aka nerd

with the headphones. No, you don't need headphones for this. No, probably not. Yeah, so he did it With the headphones. No, you don't need headphones for this. No, probably not. Yeah, so he did it into Flushing Meadows, a lake in Flushing Meadows. Isn't that where the US Open is? Yeah.

The tennis? Yeah, it is. You're right. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And apparently there was a 1939 and 1964 World Fair there. Okay. What's a World Fair?

Like an expo sort of thing, I think. Yeah. Maybe, yeah. What's a world fair? Like an expo sort of thing, I think. So he chucked his magnet in the water and he pulled up a safe. And inside the safe was a bunch of Benjamins, $100 bills, equating to $100,000. Well, listen, I take everything back. And it's not quite metal detecting, though, is it? Magnet fish, he must have a really powerful magnet that he's chucking in there. If he's lifting up a safe.

Yeah, they are. For some reason, we've just mocked the metal detecting industry for no reason. I know, but this is very rare. Yeah. A hundred, wow. So there you go. A hundred thousand dollars. So they were partly decomposed and stuck together, but they have like a security ribbon on them

that indicates they are like recent. So he doesn't know who they belong to, but like finders keepers. So someone just chucked a safe in there. Yeah. For safekeeping, so to speak. Is it the finders keepers, losers, weepers sort of in the court of law? Is that what happens? But if the mob come for you.

Oh yeah, true. You'll be sleeping with the magnet fishers. So there you go. Pretty sure that'll be the judge's ruling, won't it? Yeah. Finders keepers, losers, I'm sorry. You know you go. Pretty sure that'll be the judge's ruling, won't it? Yeah. Finders keepers losers. I'm sorry. You know the rules.

You know how it works. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. Talking before about a safe that was fished up by magnets in America and just out of New York. And $100,000 of money

was found inside the safe. Been in the river the whole time. Is it worth looking like a nerd burger for years until you find something good? Well, hey, 100 grand. Pretty good.

American, too. America. Yeah, true. You do the currency exchange on that bad boy. And, yeah, I want to apologize to the metal detecting community because when you mentioned the story, we went off on some tangent mocking people who go up and down the beach with those things, do, do, do, do, with the headphones.

Completely different sport. Yeah, it is. It is a different sport. So there was an unnecessary shock. Wait, is the magnet fishing more elite than metal detecting? I just never heard of it before. Magnet fishing. Yeah.

So the magnet seems like it's about the size of a coffee cup and clearly very powerful if it's pulling up safes and things from the bottom of rivers and lakes. You had a friend who got in the game. Yeah, but we just ordered it online and then it got sent to them in a special case. Because obviously if you're posting it, it's like a powerful magnet. So you have to get it in a special case. And it does seem like one of those things like, jeez, I'm going to get into magnet fishing.

And you half-heartedly give it a go once, don't get any results. You get nothing. Yeah. A tire. Are they still magnet fishing? I don't believe so. No, wouldn't have thought so. Brendan, good morning to you.

Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast, Brendan. Hey, how's it going? Great to have you on. Are you a magnet fisher? No, not a magnet fisher, no. Okay. Because I did find something, yeah. You did find something. Because we're wondering what the best thing is you found. What did you find? We were selling a couch

out of the house and the people came to pick it up and I had a couple of friends around trying to move the couch out. As we moved the couch away from the wall, we found that there were some adult toys there and a couple of gloves. And, of course, we had Ebby and Bede the place for a bit. So these were inside the couch. Yeah, you're like, dude, these aren't mine,

but they would look like yours. These are not ours. Yeah, exactly. So that was pretty funny. I do love the hygiene standards of the gloves being used. Yeah, the gloves confuse me. And we were just trying to remove the stuff before the people buying the couch saw it. Yeah, because you're going to go, not mine, buddy, not mine.

And they're like, okay, whatever you're into. You're like, I tell you what, you know you've reached a level when you're chucking gloves into the mix, don't you? Yeah, definitely. Oh, good on you, Brendan. Where did they end up? Not in the first place. Where did you put them? Sorry, you mean the couch with the gloves?

The toys. What did you do with them? Actually, it's a good point. I have no idea. I think we just chucked them out. Yeah, right. Recycling, mate. They're recycling. You've got to recycle those. We're going to send you out some help. Have a great day. What a good point. I have no idea. I think we just chucked them out. Yeah, right. Recycling, mate. You're recycling.

You've got to recycle those. We're going to send you out some help. Eat to the emigrate day. What a great call. Thank you. Check a bit of soft plastics. All right, Caleb, welcome to the show. Yeah, hey, good morning.

How are you? We're doing well. Greatest thing you've found? So I'm not allowed to disguise the location as it's still under investigation. But yeah, basically I went magnet fishing and I found a pistol in the water. Oh, did you? So this may be part of some sort of investigation.

That's why you can't sort of say anything. Yeah, yeah. Wow. Jeez, that would have been quite a almost frightening to pull that out of there uh wherever you were fishing yeah it was it was quite a frightening um yeah just just because it was like oh i found a and then you have to like contact, going like the adult toys. It's not mine.

I found it here. Yeah. Yeah, situation. Now, Caleb, sorry, did you have to drive it to the police station? What happened? No, I had to wait for the police to get here because I wasn't allowed to touch it.

Oh, right. Yeah. They are still waiting to see what is actually in there. So they may ask from their back, they may not. I don't know. When did you find it? How long ago was this? Oh, about three, four months ago.

Wow, good Samaritan. Well, there you go. That's some story from some magnet fishing there, Caleb. Cheers for the call. You're going to have A wonderful Tuesday The Hits The Jono and Ben Podcast Now I know there's a lot

Of stuff going on in the world The world's a very interesting Place at the moment Isn't there And this might To some seem very trivial But to me It's the biggest thing

That's happening in my life Right So you're doing a duvet up Okay Yeah And you get to the end Of you've done the buttons up on the end on the other end of the duvet okay this is textbook stuff done it then you get to

the end you like oh no why is there a spare slot yet all my buttons have gone and you've misaligned you have matched up properly now sometimes I'm like okay no it's fine don worry, just leave it. No one's going to notice. But I can't unnotice it. And then so you have to go back methodically through each button. And it's always the first button you blow out in the instance, isn't it? Yeah.

And then so yesterday, I'm doing this in a fit of rage. I've never been able to change a duvet cover in a calm state. Yeah, they're quite tricky, aren't they? So annoying. Do you go the inside out method? Yeah, I do, yeah. But just never wear any of it. That's a whole other conversation. And so I rip off buttons by accident in a fit of rage.

Two buttons came off. And then I noticed the amount of buttons I have ripped off things. Shirts, duvet covers, pants. And then I just like place the button on a desk or a windowsill or on a jar. For the button fairy. Yeah, and I'm like, well, one day I'll get around to sewing those buttons on. And I have never once sewed a button on. You just leave them, these orphaned buttons scattered all around the house. Have you got that at yours?

No, I do sew them on because finally, you know, you can't wear that shirt again because there's a button missing so i'll go get the thing and sew it on but i get the duvet rage but why are you raging taking off your shirt yeah my shirt oh no just like you know when the pheromones kick in the shirt comes ripping off buddy should see when i take my stripper pads off the best the best duvets are the ones with the ones that just kind of connect together oh yeah those are the ones with the ones that just kind of connect together. Oh, yeah. Those are the ones. Those are great.

I've got one at the moment that's got a zip. Why do they not all have a zip? That's a great invention. Yeah. I got to the end and I was like, are you kidding me? What? You've got pillowcases with zips? This needs to happen everywhere.

Why haven't they got a zip system? I don't know. Well, they do. You found it. Yeah. So I just wanted to send a shout out to all those orphaned buttons scattered around households in New Zealand. People have jars.

My mum's got just a jar full of buttons. Just rando buttons? Yeah, and then if you lose something, you're like, oh, look at the jar. Try and find something to match up. She'll fix your jeans with a button that doesn't quite fit. Where's she collecting her buttons from over the years? Oh, she's a hoarder.

She'd probably come to your house and take them away. Passionate ripping your shirt off. Oh, your mum's very passionate as well. Take your shirt off. Sew those on to little Benny's pants there. It's a little awkward when she does it, but it's fine. She also collects the empty sushi soy sauce dispensers too. Yeah, the little fish things. She's got hundreds of them.

I was like, why are you doing this? And then she was like, you know what? She rang me about six months later. She goes, I could put little bits of mouthwash in them and take those around for those who want the taste of

soy sauce flavoured mouthwash yeah yeah good on you the hits the Jono and Ben podcast I think you were reading

about it in the news this morning a lot of kids not at school at the moment because a lot of sicknesses going around yeah 85% do you want actual stats?

80% to take him Fridays off? A little more than, yeah. I felt like he was throwing it to you for some stats. Babe, so read the news. I don't know what I'm saying. Remember it? That's fine. Yeah, you back me up.

That's fine. Yeah. It does feel like, I don't know if it's just this year more than other years. You know, there's a couple of years ago, we were only worried about one virus. Yeah. You know, now it feels like there's multiple, a hurricane of disease swirling around, a tornado every time you walk into a room, isn't there? Yeah.

It happens in winter. Probably all our immune systems are not that great because we were protected for all that time. We've become softer. I know. Haven't we? Yeah, more affected. And we just mentioned this after the show yesterday. Is there anyone listening who has never taken a sick day?

Yeah. Before COVID, I imagine there would have been a lot more than maybe now. Because before it was a badge of honour to keep battling on. Oh, just a stroke this morning, mate, but I'm still here. So they can be sick, just never taking a sick day. Yeah, well, probably that's going to be the case, wouldn't it? Yeah. What?

Well, you know, no, super immunity. Yeah, that's true. They have a wonderful immune system. But the problem, you're right, once you've gone this far, not having a sick day, you've got to continue that clean track record on, don't you? So 0800, it's been, you front footed it, said the bar's been set too high. Oh, maybe too high, yeah.

There's no one listening who's never taken a sick day. Or ever turned up with no sickness whatsoever. If you do, you know, you're battling on through, you know, coughs and colds

and spreading it around to everyone. Maybe you found the secret to eternal health. Yeah. Okay, 0800 to the hits. We're going to chuck this out there. All the phones are just ringing

now they've stopped ringing. They've realised we've moved on from lib free. Yeah. Okay, no sick days. That've realised we've moved on from lib free. Yeah. Okay, no sick days. That's what we want and in the meantime... And as I just tried to speed off Gotta take him home with me And I know this will not be fun There's more diseases here

Than Friday night in Hamilton Now I'm starting to sniff soon As I walked in through the door Went through a box of tissues Now they're piling on the floor And it's cold and shitty weather And I'm sick of all this rain There's COVID everywhere Even even COVID on the plane.

And my nose is running, it's the season of the sick. And my throat is sore, rub my chest down with some Vicks. And I've got man flu, so I just like to play the victim. Paracetamol, temperature check in my rectum And I'll sleep at night, little sweaty with a fever And my daughter's coughing, but I don't think I believe her My nose looks like Rudolph every time I blue And I used all my annual leave with this damn flu The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast Middle of winter now, the weather getting a lot colder. It's meant to get a bit more rubbish later in the week.

And we wanted to know, has anyone never had a sick day or the least amount of sick days? Some really proud people texting and calling the radio station this morning. Diane. Yep, boy, that's me. You've never had a sick day? So I had 12 years unbroken attendance at school. At school? All through school?

Wow, what a grade A student. Never took a day off school. A bit sad, probably. Well, I don't think many people, especially at school, would have the same record. Now, some schools, they do award, don't they, unbroken attendance? Did you get the legendary certificate at the end of year assembly there, Diane? I absolutely did, yeah. So I got to about eight years without having a single day off.

And then it became a bit of a challenge because I couldn't break my record after eight years. So, yeah, I remember a time I had to go to school and sit in the office until 10 o'clock because you had to be there till 10 to be marked present. And then I went home and was sick as a dog. And I was just trying to think, how many people did you infect over that wonderful 12 year, right? That's brilliant. Good on you, Diane. There you go, 12 years, unbroken attendance at school.

Tracy, good morning to you. Good on you, Diane. There you go, 12 years, unbroken attendance at school. Tracy, good morning to you. Good morning. Now, it's not something that we should be promoting is never having a sick day. I know, I know. We've had, when the COVID hit, we had COVID three times in a house and she never got it, never got COVID.

We breathed on her, everything, because she really wanted a day off sick, but no, she didn't get that either. Who are we talking about here? Who's this magical person? She's probably still in bed. She's got her day off today. But she's got about a three-month holiday zone to her.

And I've actually told her that she's going to take a holiday. She's only 22, and she just works. She works, and she just keeps working, and she loves her job. Again, I still don't know who she is to you, but she just works. She works and she just keeps working and she loves her job. Again, I still don't know who she is to you, but she sounds incredible. She is. I'm very, very proud of her. I would be too.

It's this mystery woman. Is this your daughter? She's my daughter, yes. Oh, that makes a lot of sense. Soldering on with Codrell. Yeah, isn't she? That was a good campaign back in the day. You couldn't do that now, right? Soldier on with Codrell That was a good campaign back in the day You couldn't do that now Soldier on with Codrell

You can't take a day off around COVID Soldier battle on with Codrell That's right Thanks for your call Danielle You're on, never had a sick day Danielle Yeah So I started a job last year in March Until March this year I had one sick day

And that was really just because I woke up and couldn't be bothered going to work that day So I caught up this year Are you constantly healthy? Yes, I just hardly ever get sick The only time I really get sick is if I eat something And then I have a bit of a funny tummy But I will just carry on What about colds and stuff? You just need of a funny tummy but I will just carry on.

What about colds and stuff? You just need to get them. Sorry, I got COVID this year and it hit me terribly. Right. So I had a Friday and a Monday off and then I went back

to work on Tuesday. Oh, good on you. Stick into that seven day to stand down period. Yeah. Have a good one, Daniel. It's not anymore though. It's not.

Just do what you want, isn't it? Yeah, I think five days they recommend, you know, even with mild symptoms. Just go back when you feel good. Soldier on. Soldier on. Kimbo, Kim's with us.

You've never had a sick day, Kim? Haven't yet, no. How many years have you been working? I've been working for many years, but just in this position, a year and a half. No sick days. That is impressive. Yeah. And why?

Are you not ill? No. Touch wood. Haven't been for a while. Legend. This is like- There's healthy people out there. That's a very amazing immunity.

That's pretty incredible. We didn't think we'd find anyone. Well, there we are. We found a few with amazing immune systems or very good lives. This morning. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Now, Megan, you said you did something yesterday and we'd be very proud of you. I hope so.

We're proud of you every day. Can we just front foot that, Ben? That was a good time for us to come in with that. Oh, yeah. Should have said that, right? Yeah. Should have. Yeah.

Didn't. I'm sorry. This is something I've mentioned to you. Did we talk about it on the radio a couple of months ago? I've never, I don't do much by myself, but I've never eaten a meal out by myself because I kind of see it as like a social thing and I get a bit awkward.

I've never been to the movies by myself. But I found that I had. What about crying by yourself in the car park of a Burger King? Eating a Whopper. It's very specific. On a Tuesday morning after nine Heinekens. Are you okay? Yeah, no, I'm fine, thanks.

So I found myself – I was early for an appointment, like two hours early. And instead of going home, it was out of the way. I was like, I'm actually going to go to a cafe and I'm going to do some work by myself. I'm going to do it. So I went and ordered some food, ate some food by myself and sat there with my laptop.

Right. The laptop was the important utensil there. I think that was my comfort thing. Yeah. You look like a lonely Tinder dater waiting for someone to turn up, don't you? Yeah.

Everyone's like, oh, that's sad. If you don't have any other appliances with you yeah but you're right it's quite i find it it's quite good productivity because you can't i got so much done you're at home you're like i should do the washing or exactly whatever it is none i'm not going into the girl oh can i help with the dishes of the cafe i'm not helping them yeah like what can i eat i'm like oh i can't eat anything more because I need to pay for it so you get given your food you sit there and you just have to do your work yeah I got so much done and it was quiet there was no kids around me but then here's my question I was there probably almost two hours yeah I wanted that in the weekend because I as I said I waited outside for my daughter and her friends to go to the movie and I sat in the cafe

had a hot drink I was there for a good hour 40, hour 50. And you only bought one drink? Yeah, I bought two. I bought a guilt purchase of a second drink. Free Wi-Fi? Free Wi-Fi? No, I was just... Tethering?

Yeah, tethering. But halfway through, I was like, oh, geez, I better buy something because I'm just sitting here. Using these facilities as an office. You do wonder about that, right? Because there's a journalist in the news today who was actually banned from a bunch of cafes for doing this,

but they did buy things. So I don't know. What's the rules? Does it depend how long you're there? Do you need to buy more? Every 30 minutes you should be buying something from behind the counter. Maybe. Just to keep up.

But also there was only a few people there, so I figured it would be fine. Also, everyone working inside the cafe knows exactly what you're up to. Just because you've squeezed back a bloody cheeky soy latte doesn't give you nine hours of office space. Yeah. And I was like, I'm not even using their Wi-Fi. They don't have Wi-Fi.

You run some business meetings in there. Hire people, fire people. When you're at the coffee club or something, and this is where it goes bad, someone who knew you came up and started interrupting your work, which you don't like. I don't mind chatting to people, but this is where it goes bad. Someone who knew you came up and started interrupting your work. Oh, yeah, sat down. You don't like. No, I don't mind chatting to people, but this person had a good, had a seat and then had a big chat.

But because I was already there and I wasn't leaving because my kids were coming back, I was like, well, I can't go. Hey, great to meet you, whatever. So I was like, it's all on them to leave. And they were like 30 minutes deep into a convo. How do you even know? And then they went away and then I was still there. They came back 20 minutes later and

they go oh just one more thing and sat down. Have we not covered everything off? I mean we had a good convo but I was like it's all on them then

in that situation. You can't escape. You're held captive. Run off to Hollywood Bakery or BB's or something. Oh there we go so shout out to all the

fine cafes who are opening their doors up and your office space. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. We do this once a week. Things you can say in the bedroom and today it's doing your taxes.

Oh, I'll tell you, nothing more attractive than balancing a spreadsheet and paying your way. Is there, Ben? Is it the end of the financial year, is it? Yeah, it's around about this time. Who does it? Do you run your own business, Soul Trader?

Who looks after all those? Accountant to do a lot of a lot of that you know oh my wife's actually very good at a lot of that stuff but obviously getting the accountant to check it all off and stuff not my strong point that email from the accountant not my strong i just found myself in a huge tax hole a few years ago i owed them thousands and thousands of dollars because I ticked the wrong bloody tax bracket for a secondary job I had. And for years they just let you get away with it. And one day they're like hey buddy, you owe us $14,000.

Didn't have $14,000. I had to borrow it from my father-in-law. Don't they let you pay it off? Yeah, they can let you pay it off as well. Yeah, well, I borrowed it from my father-in-law. Unnecessarily so, as it seems now. Anyway, these are let you pay it off as well. Yeah, well, I borrowed it from my father-in-law. Unnecessarily so, as it seems now. Anyway, these are things you can say in the bedroom

and while doing your taxes. Kick it off, Megan. Wow, that's a big return. Things you can say in the bedroom and doing your taxes. It's going to take me months to recover from this. This is a lot harder than I thought it would be.

Oh, that was one of them. Okay. Thanks for teaching me to do that. It'll be so much easier to finish now. Things you can say in the bedroom and doing your taxes. I would like to withdraw, please. Do I have to pay for child support? I can't believe I've got to pay that much this time round

Oh man, I'm getting completely screwed here I'm going to need the receipt, thanks What's this unexplained deposit? And surely this isn't legal Now there's one here that came through on Facebook, I don't know I've just looked at a last minute one It's about dining out What are we feeling? What are we feeling?

I think we can connect the dots Connect the dots Something about dining out and claiming it back There you go That's the safe way The safe way of doing it Yeah, you're right The double entendre is even too much for me

Yeah And there's things You can say in the bedroom And stuff we didn't quite Commit to towards the end Yeah exactly