Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL SHOW: Ben's a Pimp?

Episode Date: April 23, 2024

ON THE SHOW TODAY Can you handle the scandal? Country singer Wilson Dixon Basty's a Swiftie Big Suprise for Monday! We clear internet history... What does @ really mean? Ben gets caught! Check us out! Facebook: The Hits Breakfast with Jono and Ben Instagram: TheHitsBreakfastSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Cheers to Dilma, making the world a better tea. Yesterday, after the show, we've got a lot of stuff to do. It was a busy day, actually. And, you know, when you're trying to get stuff done... You're always getting stuff done. You're a busy guy. And something goes wrong, you know, something delays you,

it can be quite... it can be a little bit frustrating. So we had to get some pillows, because I don't know if you've ever looked inside your pillow sometimes. It can get quite manky. Oh, yeah, very yellow. You're supposed to replace them like once a year. Yes, yeah. The dust and all the stuff that falls off your head into your pillow.

You don't really think about it until you're changing sheets and stuff. No, some pillows just really look dead, lifeless and yellow, don't they? So I got rid of some pillows and then I was like, well, yesterday I was going to go whip past. Just a whip past Briscoe situation. That was on the list. That was a whip past. And my daughter and the... You're still in my mind.

I was just going to whip past Briscoe. Whip past Briscoe. It's going to be quick. We're going to go in, out, grab some pillows. And anyway, we ended up... Well, here's some recording of how we ended up. So we just came into Briscoe. We've got lots of stuff to do today, haven't we?

We're going to get some pillows. Yeah, we're just looking for some pillows for our rooms. And then the fire alarm's gone off. Now we're caught up, what, lighting up with everyone outside. And how many fire trucks? There is, I think there's four. Yeah, there's four. One came before, and then three just came.

I thought there was no fire, but anyway. Yeah, there's no, like, visible fire, but it might be, like, undercover, you know, a little spark fire. Can we leave is my big question. I mean, maybe. I'm just like, can we leave? But at the moment we can't. We're stuck here. Why couldn't you leave? Because they kind of herded everyone together.

Like, we all need to assemble here. And I'm like, well, that's what I kept. We can just go. Well, I was like, why? Then I was like, you know, that point where you're like, can I leave? And then one fire truck arrives. I was like, oh, and then I was like, you know that point where you're like, can I leave? And then one fire truck arrives. I was like, why? And then there was four fire trucks.

And I couldn't see any sign of them. I mean, it's good that everyone was safe and together. But I kept thinking, can I leave? Just get the cards just there and I can leave. It was frustrating because they had the pillows and the trolley. They were inside, but I had to leave the store. I was like, I could go back in. They want to make sure you get that purchase.

Were the fire trucks blocking the exit too? In the end, they ended up being. I could have just whipped away. But the lady was like, the lady with the warden thing, we've all got to walk together. Why? Surely we're out of harm's way. And surely they won't have a list of all the people

other than the people at the shop. I have a vessel to get even more out of harm's way. My car. Yeah, exactly. So I found it quite a frustrating pro but good on them they did the right thing and i don't know if there was a fire or anything but the fire trucks weren't there for too long this is a very passive aggressive he's like i found that very frustrating but good on them i was yeah i couldn't see a fire but good on them i don't know if there was a fire but the fire trucks weren't there for too long. But good on them. They're very safe. Good on them. Very safe.

I could have left, but good on them. Very frustrating. How long did it delay your day? It was probably about 20 minutes. Did you get the pillows? Yeah, we ended up getting back. Well, yeah. Phil.

It's kind of like leaving. I'm going to leave the car there and come back and pick it up later. But anyway. But then you're like, this is just a huge waste of 20 minutes if you don't come away with pillows. No, exactly. So we stuck it out. We got some new pillows. So there we go.

Everyone was happy at the end. They just say. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. This is Handle the Scandal, a brand new game that I'd like to bring to the show to see if you two can get your head around what scandal I'm trying to describe. Now, I'll read out the description of the celebrity scandal. And you just have to, it's got all the ingredients, this segment to make a very nervous Ben Boyce.

Right. So the format is, you'll get 30 seconds each. Okay. Who gets the most scandals in 30 seconds, who would like to go first? I'll go first. Okay, so these famous scandals, right?

There's been some bloody good scandals over the years, haven't there? Juicy stuff. Yeah. And it's always labelled a scandal when it involves a celebrity. But if it's like Steve the Plumber peeing in a bucket in a nightclub, it's a criminal offence. Yeah.

It's not just a beam, it's a scandal. It's a scandal. Celebrity scandal. It's very true. Good reminder they're a better class of human being. Okay, Ben, you going first? No, Megan. I'm going first. Okay, Ben, you going first? Megan, okay. Your 30 seconds

starts now. Okay, actor goes on an angry rant on the set of Terminator. You can pass. Christian Bale? Well done. Golfer. Tiger Woods. Well done. Comedian dropped as Oscars host after

homophobic tweets unearthed. Was it Mel Gibson? No. Kevin Hart. Kevin Hart. British comedian leads obscene messages on a famous actor's answer phone. It was during his radio show. Pass? Pass.

Russell Brand. Oh, yeah. Is that 30 seconds? Oh, that was tough. That was tough. It was really tough. That was tough. That was really tough.

Okay, you got two there. Okay. Two. Two skin. It is tough, though, because you need a few seconds to download. Yeah, you're like a comedian. Oh, that's wide open, you know? Yeah.

And how many people? Probably lots of people have been dropped from the Oscars and things as well, too. You're like, oh, jeez, who could this be? Multiple people. Was Will Smith a comedian? Yeah. Okay, Ben Boyce, your 30 seconds starts now. Can you handle the scandal?

Computer hacker steals Oscar winner's iCloud nudes. Oh, pass. ThatCloud nudes. Pass. That was Jennifer Lawrence. Unpopular rapper endorses unpopular US president. Kanye West. Well done. US politician denies having an affair with White House intern. Bill Clinton.

Well done. British actor arrested for sex worker with sex worker. Hugh Grant. Well done. These are easy. Pop singer licks donuts and professes hatred for America. Inside donut shop. Oh, I don't know. Pass. That was Ariana Grande. Well done. Didn, these are easy. Pop singer licks donuts and professes hatred for America. Inside donut shop. Oh, I don't know.

Pass. That was Ariana Grande. Well done. Didn't know that one. Tiger Blood, crazy interview. Oh, Charlie Sheen. Yeah. Do you think he had easier ones?

I think so. What did Ariana Grande do? She licked the donuts in the donut shop. She got caught on camera doing it and said she hated America or something. And basically just go, I just go that was years ago yeah and it was for the consumption

of fast food ironically she was licking donuts so she licked it and put it back as well ooh yeah

that is scandalous scandalous the hits the Jono and Ben podcast Ben you have some audio that's really hasn't aged well. From a, I'm gathering like a

morning breakfast TV show where they're discovering what are they learning for the first time? Email. So emails come in for the first time and I imagine like we will mock this, but you don't know anything about email and then all of a sudden it's there and you're like, what is this? But I remember when email came along. Do you?

I mean, we were around. Yeah. This is pretty bad. So this baffled the breakfast house from 30 years ago. And even the internet was baffling them. Have a listen. That little mark with the A and then the ring around it. At?

See, that's what I said. Katie said she thought it was about. Yeah. Oh. But I'd never heard it said. I'd always seen the mark but never heard it said. And then it sounded stupid when I said it. about. Yeah. Oh. But I'd never heard it said. I'd only seen the mark, but never heard it said. And then it sounded stupid when I said it. Violence at NBC.

Violence at NBC. G-E-com. Internet is that massive computer network. The one that's becoming really big now. What do you mean? That's big? How does one... What, do you write to it like mail?

Oh, I don't know. But Taylor said what you know all of the conversations we have about AI now on the radio where we're like I don't trust it I don't you know

what's this thing what is it you know can you believe it can you know write a whole recipe for you chat GPT

20 years time we're going to get marked I know I know by robots probably he was just trying to get his head around it

wasn't he write to the internet what are you doing they just call it internet yeah I like how their email I know by robots probably he was just trying to get his head around it wasn't he do you write to the internet what do you do they just call it internet I like how their email was

violence yeah what was that about it really got quite aggressive they were obviously doing some news coverage on some

violent activity so then they set up a specific email for just the violence they didn't grasp the email situation you can just have

a normal email and then you go, hey, write into us about violence. Subject, headline, violence. Oh, you don't have to create it. Oh, and address it just for your topic. Well, how will they know what it's about? Well, they'll read what it, you know, yeah. They really had gone,

because it sounded quite a light, sort of fun show. Yeah. They've already created a violence email, but anyway. We should email it see if it's still functioning violence at mbc.com

Dixon very funny country artist from Colorado Cripple Creek in Colorado yeah he's here I'm not sure if

it's a made up place or not it's hard to know have a go have a go but he's here for the International Comedy

Festival and touring New Zealand and joins us in the studio now. Welcome. Thank you very much. How are you going? We're doing well. I stupidly asked you, would you like headphones, but you're wearing a ginormous cowboy hat, which is not conducive for headphones, Wilson.

Yeah, it's not. I don't need it in here. It's not sunny. But those lights, what are those lights up there? They're UV lights. Yeah, they're just your tan during the show. Yeah, we do like to get a little bit of a tan going on. Vitamin D, it's important, guys.

There's a risk of melanoma in this room. Yeah, there is. So for people that don't know, and we should because you've been to New Zealand many times, you're the greatest country singer from Cripple Creek. In Colorado. Yeah, that's right. Well, the only one.

Well, the best and the only. Well, the only and then the best. I guess I could be the worst, Well, the best and the only. Well, the only and then the best. I guess I could be the worst, but that would be just too much self-deprecation there, I think. And so New Zealand loves you. This must be like a home away from... It is home away from home. Yeah.

It is nice. I do like it here. I go to other places, though. I go to Australia, you know. You cheat on us with Australia? Well, they're a rough lover, I would say. Australia, it's a big, bad country. It is a big, bad country. And dry.

They're a dry lover. So what's been happening with you? Because we haven't seen you for a while. So what's been happening for you? I mean, America, it's always a lot going on. There's always elections. There's always all sorts going on over there. I mean, what's been happening with you i mean america it's always a lot going on there's always elections there's always all sorts going on over there i mean what's been happening with you uh well i had to deal there we had a pandemic over there right did you have that it made its way over here yeah yeah yeah and uh so with that happened and a lot of people still

don't believe that it did happen you know what i mean you've heard about those kind of things my brother jethro he's a bit, he went down the rabbit hole. Queuing on. Yeah, yeah. Well, what happened was he actually, he lost his phone down a rabbit hole. And in the process of getting it out, he came out literally as a conspiracy theorist. From a rabbit hole. From a rabbit hole. From a rabbit hole.

Yeah, yeah. He freaked out down there, man. It was a big one. You can't imagine much vaccination going on in Cripple Creek? No. Oh, the animals. It was a big one. You can't imagine much vaccination going on in Cripple Creek? No. Oh, the animals. We vaccinate the animals for hydatids and rabies and things like that. Not the people.

Not the people. How many people catching rabies are in North Spring? Rabies is very common over there. Yeah, you get bit by a bat's curtains. Now, speaking of animals, I dare say I asked this question because I hope the answer is a positive one. Andrew, the horse.

That was your horse. Is he still around? Yeah, unfortunately, yes. My horse, you know, Megan, you know about my horse, Andrew? No, I don't. He's a pain in the ass, basically. And so he's,

horse years compared to human years. He's been around a long time. He has been. Yeah. 20 years. That's a long, that's a long time. He's long in the tooth.

Long in the face, long in the tooth. That's what they say about horses. Definitely. Now country music, now you've probably ridden the highs

and lows of country music right now. Never been more popular. Beyonce, Morgan Wallen, Luke Combs, they're all in country music everywhere. Yeah, well, I mean, Beyonce, I mean. Never been more popular. Beyonce, Morgan Wallen, Luke Combs, they're all in country music everywhere. Yeah, well, I mean, Beyonce.

I mean, come on, man. Are you a fan of her new stuff? Well, you've got to have been to the country to even write. I don't think she's been to the country. Were you invited to Quilt Creek? Yeah. I mean, we only have one store. I don't think she would get all the things she needs.

Now, you're touring around New Zealand again. I i am have you got any new music i've got half i have got a whole new album that i'm uh that i'm got around you know what's it called that's my fifth album uh that's the name of it no it's uh it's uh it's wilson dixon untled. But that is the title. Right. Yeah. What's the inspiration behind the title? I wanted to be a little bit mysterious. You know, keep people guessing. Wilson Dixon with us. Would you do us the honor of performing one of your new songs?

Yeah, we'll do. This is kind of like an old one. This is off my first album, Wilson Dixon's Greatest Hits. First album. Came out with a Greatest Hits album straight away. At the time, they were my best songs. I'm not going to lie to you. You know what I mean?

They were my best ones. I'm not going to put one on there that's not a good song. You're not going to say these are my worst songs. This is my debut album. I'm going to put all the bangers on there. Yeah, right. I see what you've done. This song's called uh more than words and it's a song about kind of what we say and

what we mean yeah and how they're there's often a disconnect between those two things okay beautiful just like this if a cop says stop right there and reach for the sky He's not encouraging you to achieve your goals If a man greets you and says put it there He's meaning your hand If a lady says she's head over heels in love with you Don't believe her No one that flexible will stay with you for long

If a woman says, you're getting on my goat Don't look around for a goat If a man says he's gonna take a dump he's more than likely gonna leave it there if someone says don't take my advice that's advice That's very true It's advice about not taking their advice So take their advice

But make sure it's the only advice that you're taking Oh, Wilson Dixon, go see him The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Ball season at the moment, so many parents around the country complaining about the price of the tickets to the ball, not just all the costs of getting gowns and suits and stuff, but some school balls are ranging from $100 to $300 a ticket.

Are you joking? Is it the after-party ticket too? No, most schools kind of distance themselves from any after-parties, don't they? I think the schools don't probably charge for that. Do you remember that wild period where the headhunters were holding a school ball after-party? Oh my God, no. You could rent out the pad. And they'd host the, yeah, very generous of them.

I'm a community centre. But how was your ball? Who did you take to the ball? I took Sam. What was his last name oh he was um great his you'll live on in your heart forever i know sam um he got his mum to make his tie as well but i didn't get anything matching like you didn't get a looney tunes duvet made into no sadly no yeah ben was uh dressed as uh well all the looney tunes characters on his suit i had a couple of

regrettable outfits over the school outfits I think we probably all did trying to be real fashionable I know but two years bandanas too which is the, you know, we're bandanas you wore bandanas to the ball a double up bandanas so you saw the photos of the first one and you were like yes

I'm going to do it again and so did you have your ears tucked out of the bandana like a cancer patient or how did I think the ears were tucked in the top of the ears tucked in, I think from memory and maybe, you know, really wanted to be a rapper. I probably had the LL Cool J key necklace. Yeah, I did. I had the first year was quite a blue on.

So I was mom had a big blue coat that I wore and then I took and she had. Well, you wore your mom's coat. Yeah. My mom's coat was a big blue coat. Then I had matching blue pants and a blue bandana as well. And then I remember Grandad had an old walking cane thing, but not one of the curved ones. Oh, Ben, as your friend, just stop talking.

Surprisingly, or not surprisingly, I have to say it, the girl that I was going to take to the ball, she didn't go with me at the end. She's like, I can't go with a guy who's 18 years old using a walking cane. So I turned up by myself. It was mum's coat. fair there a guy 18 years old walking using a walking cane so I turned up

by myself you look like the failed audition from boys to men yeah it was pretty embarrassing the hits

the Jono and Ben podcast my shops until about one o'clock it's amazing just when the shops are shut

for even half a day you realise how much stuff you need to get now and then, don't you? Immediately. But you just wait until 1 o'clock. Yesterday I was driving the work car and came back and had a conversation

about a feature that is in not all but many vehicles nowadays on the dashboard when you're driving. If it's a digital dashboard a lot of the times, there'll be a little symbol on symbol uh on there which is indicating what speeds you need to be traveling with we're traveling with at that particular time on the road and that coincides with the actual speed limit so you're out in the open highway 220 or whatever we do on the open highways here uh but it'll say like 100k's on your dashboard and 100k's on the sign on the highway however this is the mind-blowing bit that we can't get our heads around,

and this is where we need you to help us out on New Zealand's Breakfast. How does it work? Because if you are travelling at 100km and you come into some roadworks and it slows down to 30km, the thing on your dashboard changes immediately. Yeah, it's quite impressive. Often it looks like the actual road sign, like a circle thing on your dashboard, and it just suddenly changes. It'll say 30Ks or 80Ks or you go into it.

We've watched it before. As soon as you hit that sign, it changes. Can I see the sign? I'd love to imagine just a really stressed out employee at Waka Kotahi having to frantically push 10,000 buttons at the same time, controlling everyone's cars. Because obviously it's kind of like connected. You'd think it would be collected through the maps and satellites

and all that sort of stuff, right? But then who's telling the satellites? Well, who's not instantly to go, hey, there's roadworks here. Yeah, do they have to register with the satellite that there's roadworks? We plug this in, and so everyone's maps thing and cars will update. It makes no sense. I can only put it down to paganism or witchcraft. How they pull that off.

Okay, so we're going to throw this out here. Oh, 100 the hits. 4, 4, 8, 7, because it really baffles us. I mean, we could Google the answer, but then we wouldn't get a second break of radio out of it. You know what we're doing here? We're acting all dumb like, can you please tell us? We know the easy option.

There's a solution. But no, we'd like to involve you. We're not going to Google. Okay, under the hits. do you know why it does this what is this feature how does it work we'd love to hear from you next if not we'll google it okay that's the threat yeah you don't help us out google the hits the jonathan ben podcast wanted to be uh wanted you to help us out yeah we're right we could have googled it but hey it's nice and when we get it from the source because there's a lot there's misinformation out there when you google stuff we don't want to spread misinformation being the internet riddled with it so we can't rely on the internet for the

correct answer uh a modern day marvel in automotive technology is on the dashboard some vehicles have the speed limit that you need to be traveling at at the time and that correlates directly with the signs that are on the side of the road even then this is where it blows my blows my bits to pieces when this road works and you're on a gravel road and it's cut down to 30 k's an hour or whatever it changes instantly it's the 2024 is pulling a rabbit out of a hat you know back in the day you'd be like oh that legend pulled a rabbit out of a hat. You know, back in the day, you'd be like, oh, that legend pulled a rabbit out of a hat. Now we've got used to that. But this is new stuff. Yeah, it's pretty incredible.

How does it work? Let's go to Ian. You're on. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Do you have the answer, Ian? Yeah, mate. Yeah, it's called E-Road. I'm a truck driver.

I'm in the truck at the moment. And it's showing 90 k's because that's all we're allowed to do on the open highway and what it's called is geo fencing so where the road sign is it's geo fenced there and it's all done by satellite so as soon as you come up to the road sign that changes from say 90 down to 70 in a built-up zone, it'll automatically go to 70. So it's all done by satellite tracking. But how do you explain the roadworks, like the temporary roadworks?

So they have to log those in or register those when they put up the roadworks, maybe? It's a bit different on these ones in the truck, but in the cars with all the modern technology now, if the guys doing the roadworks log into the system, of course it'll show up on your system in the car. Wow. What a world we

live in. And it tells you where, with the trucks, the boss or the company, they know exactly where I am. They know exactly how fast I'm going, what gear I'm in. They know everything, mate. Everything.

That sounds like a giant baller. They know that we're talking to you right now. They know exactly where I am right now. All they've got to do is punch it in and they can follow me. They know what gear I'm in, what speed I'm doing, everything. Hey, on a side note, are you worried about the future of trucking? With all this talk of automated vehicles doing the logistical transport up and down the country. Yeah, I do, especially with this electric crap.

It was interesting because I was waiting to get on the ferry a couple of months ago and I was talking to a guy that carts cars and a car carrier, and they've had to increase their weight permit because of the electric cars, because an electric car can be up to 800 kilos heavier than a standard car because of the battery. Whoa. Hey. Okay. Oh my Lord.

Felt like just an anti-electric car campaign there from Ed. I like it. I like it. Hey, we appreciate you calling up this morning. We're going to send you out some help pizza. Thank you for helping us out. Yeah. Brogan, got another take on this as well.

How does your car predict or know what speed you're meant to be travelling at on your dashboard, Brogan? So it's a traffic sign recognition. Right. And it is built into the back of your rearview mirror. So there's like a little camera. And it just reads road signs as you're driving. It also detects things like if you have, what's the thing where you drive too close to someone? Tailgating.

Yeah, so it's just done from a little camera and sensor in behind your rear view mirror. So when I'm racing up behind someone and my car goes do-do-do-do-do because it thinks I'm going to crash. That thing. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. You can actually see the little camera if you stand in front of, like, your vehicle, and there's, like, a little light patch or a circle, and that's where the camera and sensors base.

Well, there you go. Hey, thank you, Brogan. Tell you what, some informative stuff. Yeah. Thank you. It must be different from the trucks as well, which are geo-zoned. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. And then when the kids get back to school, there's a new law come through.

The phones are banned. They're gone. Kids won't be able to use them day to day at school. So that is the entire school day? Do they have to hand them in today? I think different schools have different policies. Whether they cannot bring them to school or have to have them just in their bag, either off or on silent from start to finish.

Yeah. What are your thoughts and feelings on that? Well, obviously, it's about my daughter, Sienna. We've talked about it. She's very passionate about it. Yeah. Like, I kind of feel like, at first I was like, oh, well, I think it's a good thing.

I don't think kids need to be on their phones all the time. But in some ways, I feel like they should look, particularly for high school kids, at some sort of compromise because it's a very old-fashioned way of just going, get rid of the phones. We live in a society I feel like they should look, particularly for high school kids, at some sort of compromise because it's a very old fashioned way of just going, get rid of the phones. We live in a society where phones are part of it so maybe teach them to kind of use the phones in a more

productive manner. I agree. Rather than just say take it all away. Yeah, I agree. But at the same time I'm like, well it doesn't affect me too much. My life doesn't change in any way so I don't really care. You deal with it. Do you have any effects?

Someone I know that we're talking to right now, my daughter Sienna. Good morning, Sienna. Hello. Lovely to have you on, Sienna. Sienna is, you know, remember how Greta Thunberg came onto the scene and was all passionate about how we ruined her environment? Yeah. Well, this is a topic that is passionate to Sienna

about reinstating phones in schools, Sienna. Yes, I am very passionate about it because I feel like it's unfair to just put us on the spot like this. And it's like just, I feel like it's, well, Dad, even you were just saying, you're like, oh, it'll never go through. Those things, they never say they're true. Like, to be fair, well, because Sienna, when Christopher Lux and the National Party got in,

she was like, he's the guy that's going to ban the phones. And I said to her after the election, to be fair, when Christopher Lux and the National Party got in, she was like, he's the guy that's going to ban the phones. And I said to her after the election, to be honest, they say a lot of things and it probably won't happen. I gave Siena a lot of false sense. And then he released his 100-day plan and you're like, uh-oh. Uh-oh, he's actually going to follow through on this. And he's followed through. So now I'm having conversations with Siena.

You haven't written a letter. You haven't sent that letter. It was like I had to write it for a task in school. And I was even, you even written a letter. Have you seen, you haven't seen that letter? It was like, I had to write it for like a task in school and I was like, oh, here we go. This is like,

I need to write this. So I'll read you guys like the first little. Dear Christopher Larkson, I hope this email finds you well. I'm writing on behalf of all the community

and local schools for your assistance regarding the proposal you made to ban mobile phones. Stop me there. I'll stop you there. It's very well worth it.

It's well written, but you're not writing on behalf of all the community. Can I just say, this part of the community doesn't really care. It's a little bit grandstanding. Yeah, we still get to use our phones. Yeah, so I know you've written this letter, and I was telling the team here about the fact you've written this letter. You're very passionate about why you think there should be some sort of compromise, not just a blanket no phones rule in schools.

And we've got a bit of a surprise for you. Okay. Christopher Luxon, the Prime Minister. Yes. Sienna Boyce, professional child, in a one-on-one debate Monday morning, day one of... Face-to-face too.

He's coming into the studio. We've organised it. And we're going to surprise him. Really? Surprise him with you okay let's go no let's go

it's on you sound like you're trying to convince yourself to be honest I feel like we might have left we might have left our run a little late yeah I don't know if he's going to overturn things hey but I don't know

it's all about debates and politics so hey Monday morning you've got to formulate an argument 8 o'clock he's going to be here we'll bring you in here before school starts and you can, you know, see

if you can have one last ditch effort to try and get the phones. Okay. I'll try. I'll try for all the kids in school that are really just feeling heartbroken because their phones are going to be taken away. Imagine if he's like, you raised some good points, I'll change it. And you become a hero amongst

all... What't I become Just like a A kid superhero You would Yeah Tell you what You'd be Tell you what

Hot property If you change this back Sienna It's a great way to get Kids into politics It is Alright so Monday Monday morning You're eight o'clock

Alright Okay I've got it Okay I gotta go Sorry I gotta start writing Okay wrap it up The hits The Jono and Ben podcast.

This week's edition of Sexy Texties. Speaking of... Oh, that's a sexy textie. Andrew, your husband. This is where we read out text comms with our partners. So this was a few years ago. We just say he proposed. It's all romance.

Now we get day-to-day Andrew and Megan. Admin. Campaign on the beach. Didmin. Campaign on the beach. Did you make love on the beach that night? No. Just, no. This is like an inconvenient location to make love to the beach. Very sandy.

So we try and make our mundane texts from our partners, our correspondents, a little bit more sexy. Because we need to sexify things up a little bit, right? Yeah. So this started very unsexy. I did try to go somewhere with it, but it didn't work. He said, our son is currently resisting putting on underwear.

I said, like father, like son. He said, no, but seriously, this has been me since 5.30am. I said, tell him you'll count to three, otherwise he'll get pull-ups.

That's what I do with you. He said, you're not on the radio now. Oh, so really? So you tried some banter, a little bit of fluting? He's just like, dude, it is early in the morning. I'm dealing with a meltdown. Yeah.

And I'm wearing underpants at the moment. Okay, Ben Boyce, what have you got there for Amanda? Well, I've got a text from my wife. I think this is marriage. Marriage sums up right here. The text says, it's raining. Can you pick me up? Now, I've obviously missed this text.

Because you're a busy guy, you're doing stuff. I had actually just dropped off my daughter at a friend's place. I was chatting to the mum out of the car. Oh, you were chatting to another woman. And then I get, you just text me. Why are you not answering your phone? Oh, sorry, I'm busy with another woman. And then I get, are you there? So I come back to the phone for all three of those texts.

No correspondence from me, but that obviously transpired in the whole period that my wife was walking home from the mall. But what was your reply when she was like, where are you? Well, I rang, and I said, I'm just chatting to, it's like, why did you not, yeah, anyway. He read that in a stressed out tone, not a sexy tone there. Oh, sorry.

It's raining, can you pick me up? Is that better? No reply. You just text me. Why you don't answer your phone? It's not quite as sexy, is it? Okay. And this is a text I sent to my wife, Jennifer.

This was only a couple of days ago. That seafood pizza's doing interesting things to me today. Seafood pizza? You took a risk. Took a risk, yeah. To be honest, the things weren't that interesting Actually very frightening And confronting

The hits The Jono and Ben podcast Now Thanks to Dilmar We have the Dilmar teaser The Riddler With the Riddler Taylor

And you can win it With Dilmar prize pack Fantastic array The finest teas That the tea community Could provide Ben Yeah it's got hot and cold Tea prize pack

This week And $100 cash. Some of the great iced teas in there as well as great the hot teas. So if you want that, thanks to our mates at Dilmar as making the world a better tea, you need to answer, well, one of the riddles that we can't get.

It's a lot of exercise for your brain at this time of morning. We've never nailed one. It was zero from 100. I don't think we have. Zero percent success rate here. So good luck. And if you know the answer, 0800, that's the telephone number.

All right. Mr. and Mrs. Smith have four sons. Each son has a sister. How many people are in the family? A bit of quick math for your morning. Okay, you need to explain it again. It's a lot. Mr. and Mrs. Smith have four sons.

Each son has a sister. How many people are in the family? Four sons, eight sons. You'd say ten. Mr. and Mrs. Smith, the four sons, and there's two sisters. Is this one of those ones where you're like, no, I said it was four sons, so they're all sons. They don't have any...

No. No, and look, by the amount of people that are calling, you guys are so silly. It's polite. What is wrong with our brains that we don't cop on to this? Can you please read it again? Sorry, Taylor. Mr. and Mrs. Smith have four sons. Each son has a sister. How many people in the family? Mr. and Mrs. Smith have four sons. Each son has a sister.

How many are in the family? Alright What are Can I have a guess? Yeah but Are we going to take a Okay I've got

I do have a backup No this is not about the listeners This is about us What do you think it is? Please Jono Okay I think Each son has a sister

There's only one sister in the family So there's four sons One sister That's five Plus Mr and Mrs Seven He's done it He's done it What? There's only one sister in the family, so there's four sons, one sister. That's five, plus Mr. and Mrs. Siss. Seven. He's done it.

He's done it. What? The rewarding feeling I have in my stomach right now. A listener was actually going to answer the question. I've got another one. Okay. A fire breaks out in a bungalow. The kitchen master bedroom and a seven-year-old girl's room are on fire.

Which one should the police attend to first? Please again. Please again. Sorry. A fire breaks out in a bungalow. The kitchen, master bedroom and seven-year-old girl's room are on fire. Which one should the police attend to first? I know.

Yeah, but... I know this one. Oh, my God. I've got one. You've got one and you're not allowed to give the answer? No, I don't give the answer. This one's for the listener. I'll write it down. Okay, write it down. Yeah, write it down. Let's get Delisha

on the phone. Shall we, Delisha? You're on from Blenheim this morning. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. And she's hung up. Samantha from Rolleston. How are you, Samantha? You do it. She's hung up too. Andrea. Megan was so confident.

She's so wrong. Okay, I'll give you a wrong answer, Megan. No, I don't want to now. No, I want to hear it. Okay, repeat the question really quickly. Okay, fire breaks out in a bungalow. The kitchen master bedroom and seven-year-old girl's room are on fire. Which one should the police attend to first?

I said the seven-year-old girl. Like, get the girl out. should the police attend to first? I said the seven-year-old girl. Like, get the girl out. I feel like I don't know what a bungalow is exactly, but if I did, that would probably be helpful. No, it's got nothing to do with the answer. Well, you were very cocky and arrogant. I saw you trying to point us to a room, and I was like, save the girl.

Yeah, no, she's going to perish. I'm sorry, Andrea. Andrea, you're on. What's the answer to the bungalow riddle? Good morning. Well, it's not the place that you put the fire, but it's the fireman. Yes, good job, good Andrea. See, it was right there.

My answer better. It's right there. You've got a Dilmar hot and cold tea prize pack and $100 as well. You're a lot smarter than we are. Thank you. You're on, you have a lovely day, Andrea. Appreciate it. The hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

Tomorrow is Anzac Day. Dawn services around the country, around about 5.45 in the morning. And then civic services about 10 o'clock. It should be dry in the main centres, Christchurch, Wellington and Auckland, although a bit wet and windy in some other locations. And most shops, of course, need to stay shut until around about 1 o'clock. 1 o'clock, yeah. Always at those dawn services

which are very special events but when I hear the bugle player reciting the last post, the bugle, you do get goosies but it feels like an instrument that you're walking on a high wire. It could go very bad very quickly, the bugle, couldn't it? You could misfire a bugle.

You could get a bum note very easily on a bugle. So they do a good job. A lot of pressure on those bugle players. It's true. Now, we thought we'd open up the phones this morning. There's something a little different because it is a special day. And to honour that day, you might have someone in your life that you want to pay your tribute to. That's fought in the war or been to wars as well.

Some still alive. Many have sort of passed on. Megan, both your mum and your dad's parents? It was my mum's dad, Athol Cotton, and my dad's papa, so my great-papa. You wouldn't get a more great-grandmother name than Athol. No. Some old-school naming there. And Alfred Sellers fought in the First World War.

He was 17, him and his two mates. That's crazy. And they went over and straight away lost both his mates. And his family didn't, they thought that he was gone because they didn't hear from him. That's the thing, you wouldn't have heard from them for three months. No, how would you get in touch with them? So when he actually got home, they'd sold all his possessions,

so he had to work in his army uniform. So they didn't know if he was still living or not? No. He just turned up one day. No, they thought that he'd gone, yeah, and he turned up. They're like, oh, mate, I'm really sorry, we just sold all, we didn't know, yeah, we sold all your stuff on Trade Me. Yeah.

That is wild to think 17 years old. You couldn't imagine a 17-year-old going to war nowadays. It feels like as a species we've really let down the previous generations. Yeah. as a species, we've really let down the previous generations. But my great-granddad, or my granddad actually, he got some medals. And my mum was like, I'll send them up for your son, for Bastie. So I was like, he can go to a dawn service with granddad's medals. That makes me a little bit emotional.

That's really lovely. That'd be really special. My dad's parents as well, both my nana and my grandpa, went to the war. My grandpa overseas, my nana went to the war, you know, back here in New Zealand. But, yeah, he didn't really talk about it. But I remember going to the Waioururu Army Museum with him and just him in tears, you know, going through the exhibit and saying it was how realistic it was.

And I guess it brought back a lot of those memories. You know, he said the only thing that he didn't have was the flies. He said there were so many flies. That's the only thing I remember him saying, just like trying to eat anything. I think it was the flies he said there were so many flies that's the only thing I remember him saying just like trying to eat anything I think it was in Turkey and there was just

so many flies everywhere the conditions that they would have been in would have been horrible horrendous although he did use it as a bit of a get out of jail

freak out he tried to every time he got pulled over for a speeding ticket he'd be like I fought the war for people like you

you're like well you can't what do you say to that but you're driving on the wrong side of the motorway that's right yeah so that was one of those moments where I was like I don't know What do you say to that? But you're driving on the wrong side of the motorway. That's right, yeah. So that was one of those moments where I was like, I don't know, Grandpa, if you could keep,

I mean, it's amazing what you've done, but I don't think it allows you to do whatever you want on the roads. A foot in war for people like us. Maybe it should, you know, because it's an amazing sacrifice, a huge sacrifice. And absolutely. And it's a shame that war's still happening today. You've got 109 years past Gallipoli.

Look at Russia, Ukraine, what's happening in Gaza. There's still New Zealanders deployed all over the world. Insanity. I know a lot of the times it's to protect human rights and things, but surely it can be done with just some conversation. Sort out the issues. Anyway, I'm not going to solve it here on The Hits this morning. We just wanted people to phone up and pay respects to the Anzacs in their lives.

And well, no one has phoned up to pay respects to the Anzacs in their lives. And, well, no one has phoned up to pay respects to the Anzacs in their life. It's not like they went off to war to fight for everything that you have today or anything. Couldn't just dial 0800 to hits. Nice little tribute. But, no, you two had some touching tributes about the members in your family as well. So if you can get to a dawn service tomorrow, make sure you do. Love the RSA. Non-judgmental drinking hours at an RSA. No one ever looks at you sideways for starting early. Ben Boyce, big do. Love the RSA. Non-judgmental drinking hours at an RSA.

No one ever looks at you sideways for starting early. Ben Boyce, big backer of the RSA. That's right, yeah. Now, I moaned about 20, 48 hours ago actually about doing an update on my computer. Moving from people going to war to very trivial issues on my computer.

And the update wasn't working and I was moaning. Every time I opened up Google ben yeah megan would shut down immediately yeah and it's one of those ones like when you're locked out of an office computer it's a huge issue for you but and everyone pretends to half-heartedly care but they don't it's not affecting them in any way no um but it was it was frustrating i couldn't google anything i'd open up google and you were like maybe google's decided that you've done all the Googling. You've had enough, mate. It's time to go.

You've let down Google. Yeah. And no more Google. I've lost my Google license. I feel like technology, though, gets to a stage you've had a few years, it just stops working. It does. Once you get a new one.

Like, you've had that computer for a long time. It's time to upgrade. It has been loyal. And it's seen some stuff. This computer, this stuff. It has. If it could talk well it can talk i won't let it i'll leave it on turn the sound down but uh i found out what the issue was okay my google was all clogged up my google was backed up oh really some research went into a thread in a forum you'd be very proud and all i needed to do was clear history clear some space on history

but i'm like you whenever there needs to be a clean out megan this studio was slightly messy about a year ago ben ben boys went into a cleaning frenzy he was like it's all gotta go he was halfway throwing the microphones out but when he when he's in the clean everything's got to go yeah and i'm the same i don't have the time or patience to just go through and go, oh, delete that, I'll keep that. So I just went, clear everything. Delete all the cookies. I don't even know all that. Delete the case.

Just wipe it all. And it kept going like three times. Are you sure? Yes. Are you sure? That could have been a red flag. But I've wiped everything. Google's run it.

But the problem is it can't remember anything. No, no. Passwords, websites. You've cleared all your passwords. Everything's gone. Yeah. So there's a trick. So you've had to re-log into everything.

And I don't know passwords as well. Nothing makes you feel more like you're trying to cover up a crime or, you know, hide an affair than clearing your computer history. Yeah, yeah. Have you got a computer history clear lately no

I dare not have you got a friend though if you pass away that's going to look after your internet history it's like I'm

starting again at the start line the start line of Google everything's been forgiven and forgotten yeah you're like

I don't want to have Google history everyone's going crazy about Taylor Swift's new double album that dropped over the weekend the the biggest thing on Spotify,

the biggest thing in the world really right now. It's so good. Taylor Swift is driving you crazy at the moment. Well, a different album because I actually tried my son and daughter, three in one, Big Swifties it turns out, which is good because we've moved on from the Wiggles. It drove me nuts. I was like, let's see if we can get them into some pop songs

He's three What does he think of that two-timing lying backstabbing snake Kim Kardashian? I hope he's typing hate speech on his social media You know what's worse? He doesn't know who she is What about the ex-boyfriends and stuff? Has he wound up about that? Well do you know

So his favourite song was Out of the Woods and that I heard that and I don't know why it's such an odd choice for him. Yeah. I think maybe because it repeats itself a lot. But he's moved on

and his new favourite song is The Man and he has one particular part in that song. It's from the Lover album where it says, I'll be just like Leo in Saint Tropez.

Oh yeah, another one. I find hilarious because it's taking the piss out of Leo and his young girlfriends in Saint-Tropez. Leonardo DiCaprio, yeah, the actor, right? So he loves that lyric. I'm like, you've got no idea what it's talking about. So I was like, you know what, I'm going to. Or does he?

Or is he a young misogynist in the making? Yeah. I was like, I'm going to record him and I'm going to play it on the radio, him singing, I'll be just like Leo. But he's three and he doesn't work your radio, so it didn't go well. In central place. No! Say it.

We have to wait. Oh. Mommy's staying. I'll be just like Leo. No! We have to wait. Get it all out. Jeez, you've got to. I scream too, like Leo. No! You have to wait. Get it on loud. Jeez, you've got to.

I scream too, like the old Taylor Swift fans. It's like, you have to wait. You can't just do the bit where it's not, you know, you have to wait for the bit. When it's not the bit, yeah. He's right. He ended up talking all over it, so it didn't happen. And he wants it loud too.

You're like, well, it's loud. We're here for radio, but he doesn't understand that. I keep turning it down. He's like, no, turn it loud. That was actually footage of when Megan was driving Ben, listening to Taylor Swift. Last week he examined the new Taylor Swift album. I did try and play him the Tortured Poets album

and he's like, not this one. No. It's a move away from your traditional works. He's an OG fan. He is. There we go. That's a little bestie. Swifty fan.

Toddler Taylor fan. It's better than the Wigglesiggles I'll tell you that much Oh yeah Well it's kind of cool When they kind of graduate From kids You know kids songs It's because

I've got some friends Who are like My kid likes David Bowie I was like Oh yeah Dazzy You have those parents You're like

Dazzy Huge fan of Florence and the Machine Yeah Played it to When we were pregnant We played it Yeah

All this cool music He listens to David Bowie To go to sleep I'm like Oh cool