Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL SHOW: Ben's got a big butt?!

Episode Date: May 14, 2024

ON THE SHOW TODAY The boys are officially OLD! Seymour Weiner... Awkward loudspeaker moments We turn our mundane texts sexy Eat so you can sleep! Megans public embarrassment... What's a bio break? Check us out! Facebook: The Hits Breakfast with Jono and Ben Instagram: TheHitsBreakfastSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits with the Jono and Ben podcast. Thanks to Challenge, putting the service back into service stations. All week I've been saying Wednesday's the day the weather's meant to get better. Well, I'm sorry. Well, no, you said warmer. So technically it is warmer, but it's because it's pouring with the rain. Heavy downpours, thunderstorms and a chance of small tornadoes in some parts, particularly in the north today.

But not as cold. Yes, not as cold. It depends what your barometer of better is as well. Like if you've come from a hurricane, then yeah, it's better than a hurricane. So we've got to put everything in perspective. You had a rough morning again in Indy's bedroom, your daughter. Well, yeah, so I've missed it.

Again, I just got some texts before from my wife, a flood of texts, and she's not normally up this early. I'm like, oh, what's going on? Another rat. A cat brought in another rat, this time not dead. So my daughter, Andy, woke up to a cat chasing the rat around the bedroom.

And, oh, yeah. Ultimate scenes. Early in the morning, too. She's obviously, as you said megan obviously the cat you know cats always sleeping in indy's bedroom so it feels like it's a gift it's providing lots of gifts it seems like the cat really likes indy so it's like here's another present and this is where i drop these presents yeah it's alive now the good thing is for me that i'm not there and also um also my um my brother-in-law um amanda's brother he's staying

at the moment so he's dealing with that right now. Oh, good. But you're out here earning money. That's right. You know, you're providing. It's the perfect place for me to be right now. Yeah. I mean, there wouldn't be a room for a rat to run into if you weren't at work.

Exactly. Can we get a live update? Can we call Amanda now? Oh, we could. Yeah, I don't know. We can hand a number over to Grace. We should get some live rat updates. I'll give her a call in a minute.

Also, are you lying about the fact that when you left, you heard the cat chasing around and around? No, you know, there's a bit. That's not my problem. Well, the good thing is, though, having my brother-in-law stay, he's been great. He's doing all those little jobs that I'm not good at. Yeah.

And he keeps apologizing to me. I'm overstepping my mind. No, keep going. Keep stepping. We don't adhere to those gender stereotypes in this household. He's like, you know, like fixing, like, I don't even know what he's fixing. Things like leaks and stuff like that. There's been a leak.

Stuff I didn't even know there was a problem there. There's been a leak under the sink for ages. And my wife goes, I must be when we like, don't clean up the bench properly. And I was like, no, there's a leak underneath. So, yeah. And you've let rats infest your household. He's dealing with that as well. It's the rat's house now.

It's fine. Hey, Megan, yesterday we took you out for a fun field trip, didn't we? Was it fun? I mean, it was fun for you guys. It wasn't so much fun for me. Megan refuses to wear merch, any merch, even band merch, company merch. So we had her dripping in merch, didn't we? It was a hell of a fit

Now that's in the next 15 minutes You'll hear some of this But genuinely You were like Actually nervous Like you've done a lot Of stuff over the years

For radio That this shouldn't Make you nervous You were just wearing Clothes that John and I would Comfortably wear On the weekends

If we had to You know like It's like Nothing was like Bunnings Hats Export gold Bear can shirts

Party shirts Hey I'm here For a good time. Sponsored. So shamed. I was so embarrassed. My mouth was dry. Because we sent her into, you know, the Gucci's, the Prada's,

the Louis Vuitton's of the high fashion world. And, yeah, you were. I mean, they bullied you into doing naked stuff on the edge 20 years ago. We're sending you out fully clothed. Sun protected hat. This is worse. They bullied you into doing naked stuff on the edge 20 years ago. We're sending you out fully clothed. Sun-protected hats. This is worse. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. One of the things I love about America,

I mean, there's plenty of things that you could go, hey, that's not ideal, but they're very patriotic. They are. They're war veterans. There's a lot of them that are homeless and have ended up in a weird area of life. But, you know, for the most part, they really respect people who have served their country. And they'll bring out, you know, war veterans at sporting games and things like that, won't they?

And the whole crowd will stand up and give them a standing ovation, which is the respect they deserve. They put their life on the line for the country. And this is a baseball game. Okay, and they bring out this lovely old guy he's about 95 years old. Sweet, sweet, sweet old man. He's a war veteran, right? He is a war veteran, yeah.

And take a listen. And here he is, our veteran of the game Seymour Weiner. His name's Seymour Weiner. Now, poor Seymour. That's his actual name, sorry. Seymour Weiner.

Yeah. Look, I looked into it and I was like, oh, maybe this is a prank. An AI prank. Yeah, someone's given a joke name to the announcer or something like that. They've just read it. But no, it's his actual name. It feels like Bart Simpson's written the script. It does.

It does. So, poor Seymour Weiner, he looks so sweet and he'd have no idea that every time he says his name people are sniggering behind his back laughing away I mean he's a war veteran, they could have called him Corporal Weiner or something just change the name

At the baseball though, they love their hot dogs so more hot dogs is what his name is Seymour Weiner? You want more hot dogs mate? Did you say your friend had an interesting name after marriage yeah um so her name was Ali and she married um a guy named Mr Lally. Ali Mr Lally so that's that's a new name? No her name is just Ali Lally now. Oh Ali Lally that is a cute name. That's kind of like Emma Mema from the Wiggles. It's gone to Emma Mema.

It's cute. Emma Mema and Ali Lali. Yeah. It's just like that. Ali Lali. Did you go, hey, did you ever think about maybe hyphenating or? Yeah. No, she loves it.

I like Ali Lali. Ali Lali. You got it. It's fun to say. You would have been, if you married your mother-in-law, which in any instance would have been strange. Joyce. She would have been. Joyce Boyce.

Yeah, because she's Joyce. Friends of ours do call because they don't, you know, they don't obviously know Amanda's maiden name, so they're just like, oh, we saw Joyce Boyce the other day. I love it. Technically it's not Joyce Boyce, but anyway. The bloodline would be very tight if it was. We'll just roll with that one.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Now, Megan, you said a few days ago that you would never wear something, which surprised us. Yeah, it was merchandise. Any concert merch, any company or business merch. I've also put that down on my kids as well, because we go to wiggle shows and stuff, and I'm like, no, you're not buying any merch.

Where did this anti-merch stance come from? i just feel like you get swept up on the moment you're talking to two guys who are dripping in merch this is all we wear is merch so uh we took i am surprised at how much merch you had to bring along so much yeah you genuinely wear it's wild to me no, because you've actually got this on my head now. I'm like, do we wear too much merch? Ben? Probably, yeah. We love wearing merch. No, you do you, boo.

Whatever. Yeah, I'm like, oh, yeah. Anyway, we'll talk about that later. So we thought, oh, well, let's have some fun with this. We'll bring in some of our finest merch. You know, Bunnings merch, Pepsi merch. We had AJ Hackett bungee merch. Yeah. We had it all.

A skinny orange bucket hat. Skinny. Skinny moped. Bright orange. A big old, you know the Bunnings, big old Bunnings straw hats. Yeah. It's very wide brimmed. Yeah, that the troublesome tourists wore through the country.

So we brought all this stuff in and we dressed you up and we took you to the fashion mecca of New Zealand, where all the high-end stores were. We took you there yesterday. Okay, we're on Queen Street, Fashion Central. There's Louis Vuitton, there's Prada, there's Gucci, and Megan, you are here dressed. I feel like I'm in physical pain. You look like you're heading to a party. A guy called Grubby is turning up for a barbecue

on a Saturday afternoon. Describe your outfit. Okay, you've got a wonderful wide-brimmed Bunnings hat. You've got a DB Export Ultra shirt, like a party shirt with lots of cans all over it

and you've got a t-shirt. I'm wearing it open because I feel like I couldn't commit to it and then underneath I've got an AJ Hackett t-shirt. You've jumped off a bridge as well too and that's exactly what you want to do right now, jump off a bridge.

We have plenty of style options for you today. God. Alright, good luck. You're going to go just a little window shop, into some shops and then you're done. I feel like the security are already looking at us like I'm a ram raider. Like what are you doing? So then you went across to Prada.

You went into Dior, Gucci, all the big labels. And then I noticed your voice, having listened to the footage now, goes up a couple of octaves. Yeah. I was so nervous. You were. It took me so long to go into the first store. Genuinely nervous.

You caused more of a scene just like hanging, lurking outside if you just walked in and walked straight out. Yeah, that's true. This is stuff we would just wear. Just go in there. Just go in there. Why are you embarrassed? Are we that embarrassing? We don't even know we're a blibber, you're still there.

So yeah, here's a little bit of a montage of Megan inside the shops, which we didn't walk into. Hello. Hi. Hi. Hi. How are you today? Good. Just coming for a browse. You can have you today. No, I'm just having a browse. Just having a browse.

Time to hit the gooch. That was backyard cricket today. Then this is you going into Gucci how's your day good love your hat thank you

I'm being absolutely stitched up by John Ong Ben I don't know if you know them that was Gucci saying they love the Bunnings

they come out with a line of bloody straw hats so we know that's ours that's our coffee well it's Bunnings but you know

he was just being kind. Love your head. Yeah. And so the video is going to be out later on today. Do you know what they did say to me in Gucci? She was like, are you from here? I was like, yeah. Why is that?

And she said, no, you look exactly like an Australian tourist. Oh, so they walk in there like that. Is this how they dress? Oh, well, there you go. Yeah. And that is radio pranking in 2024. That's what they call workplace bullying nowadays. Making a lady walk into shops fully clothed.

You sort of get to that stage in life where it's hard to keep up with some of the coolest stuff. You try as you might, but it feels like... But then you get to an age where even if you try the cool stuff, you're like, oh, you know, it does get a bit sad. Like lingo is a big one for me. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, and I've been going around saying gat

because I learned that the other day. What's gat? I'm a gat. I thought it was just bum, but apparently it's big booty. You're like, show me that gat. Oh, my God, I've never heard that. I've been sitting there. You're like, I try and get up and I'm like,'m like, no, I've been sitting there with my gap,

but my daughter's like, please stop saying that. I was just like a curvaceous booty that year. Yeah, she's like, yeah. So anyway, I tried and I thought I had it, but I didn't have it quite correct. I mean, technically I did. Yeah, you did. Yeah, but anyway, she's like, yeah, not quite.

But now- By saying it to your daughter, sit down on that gap. She's like, Dad, please. Now, according to Gen Zs, another thing that we're not allowed to do now is, even at the gym, is small ankle socks.

Like, you know, the little ankle socks. They do creep me out, the ankle socks. You're like, but I just thought, ankle socks seem practical. They seem fine, you know, at the gym situation. But apparently, you know, Producer Grace...

I know, they're so millennial. Who's smack bang in the Gen Z generation. She's shaking her head right now. Yeah, you know, at the gym situation, but apparently you're producing race. I know, that's so millennial. Who's smack bang in the Gen Z generation. She's shaking her head right now. Yes, apparently, and little ankle socks, little crew ankle socks. No good, no good. I don't want to wear, I don't want to commit to like pulling up my socks.

Yeah. Particularly at the gym, right? Yeah. Yeah. You love to have your ankles out at the gym. How else can we see? Grace, tell me. It's the skinniest part of me.

What is the shame of showing an ankle? It's just a thing. It's crew socks. You need the long socks. I don't know how to explain it. It's just a thing. You can tell who's a millennial and who's a gen Z from the socks. Yeah, but you know what was a thing?

All the stuff you're wearing now, we wore in the 90s. That was a thing. Do you know? Yeah, we'd been there before. Back in the day, like back in high school and stuff, when you didn't have ankle socks, you used to fold the socks, the big socks, over, like underneath and wear them under your shoe. That was uncomfortable.

And that was always right up, wasn't it? Yeah. Just so you looked like you had ankle socks. You know, you just said back in the day. I would have dreamed of ankle socks there, sitting on my gat. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Now, sexy texties. That's a sexy textie.

Where we like to read out our mundane texts. I just talk all over the beginning of that. I'm sorry. I thought that it went well, actually. Oh, right. I didn't have my headphones on. Couldn't hear what was happening. Raw dogging it on the radio.

So we read out some mundane texts from our partners and just try and spice them up a touch. It's the mundane and sexiest part of this program. It's two of the pillars of the show, being mundane and sexy. So we strive to kick things off, Megan. All right, this is, to give context, this was an evening one

and it was me and my husband texting each other. We were both in the house. I was in, we're doing bedtime. I was with my son. He's with my daughter. I text him. This is prime territory. Evening time.

The kids are going to bed. We're about to get mum and dad time. Oh, good. Okay, here we go. I said, Paw Patrol thing is in a little toy. And he said he had it. And I said, I've got it. And then he said, I'm out of the room.

And I said, jealous. because I was still stuck in there with Bazzi oh so you're stuck in the other room okay that's as sexy as it gets yeah it's like a face-to-face conversation it does we're literally a room apart from each other stuck in the bedroom with the kids trying to get them to sleep oh I see you divide and conquer at bedtime yeah smart play okay Ben I like this one actually this does give me a little turned on to be honest oh okay trying to get them to sleep. Oh, I see you divide and conquer at bedtime. Yeah, smart play. Okay, Ben. This one actually does get me a little turned on, to be honest. Oh, okay. Gets us going.

Yeah, but the subject matter gets me turned on, but the actual message doesn't. So I was out doing some stuff on Sunday. The Warriors were playing. I was kind of watching it on my phone. But my wife was at home. She was by herself doing some work. And then she gives me a text going, the Warriors are getting pummeled.

Now, that sucks that the Warriors were getting pummeled. But at the same time, she was watching the Warriors. She was at home with the TV on. So that was like, oh, this is great stuff. And then she said, it's a tough watch. So I was like, well, there you go. So for me, that was great. That was great.

What was your response? I was like, yeah, it sucks. Very romantic. Very romantic. I couldn't know. A lot of tension in my one. I couldn't tell if it's sexual tension or just run-of-the-mill tension. Jen, did you take the bins out? Me, oh no, sorry, I forgot to take the bins out.

How are you? That's just an attempt to try and shift the conversation away from my mistake. Jen said, I reminded you last night to take the bins out. I said, yeah, no, I forgot. How are things anyway? Again, trying to shift things away. And she said, they're not going to get collected until next week. And radio silence for me.

How are you? Just let the tension build, that sexual tension. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Now, Megan, your dad, Waino, really interesting theory at the airport, which could make traveling easier for a lot of people. Hugely embarrassing, though. Easier, but very embarrassing. I can see as a kid, if your parents are pulling this,

you're quite embarrassed by it, right? Yeah. So my mom is very anxious. I wonder where she gets that from, about airports. So she'll make you go like two, three hours before, like a domestic flight. And my dad on the other side, he likes to turn up and not board the plane

until they call his name. So he waits till like, so everyone's on board and they've gone, oh, where's Wayno? Seat 4C. They must call out. Because then he feels like a VIP. He's like, I'll wait till they call my name like no that means that you're late and also then you get on the plane and everyone's looking at

you like come on mate yeah so i mean we've got one end of this very irate pissed off people vip on the plane like between the two of them there is a happy medium where you can turn up just before you know the bag drop closes and you're fine. So he'll do this every flight he takes, or try to at least. And then there's arguments. My mum's like, come on, come on. And dad's like, no, I'm waiting. I'm a VIP. Wait till they call my name. It's great.

It's a great little celebrity shout out, isn't it? They're never going to leave without you. They don't want to have to ruffle through the baggage. This is exactly what my dad said. He's like, do you know how much, it's so hard to get my plane off, they'll wait. Absolutely.

Good on him. I mean, you're either going to be sitting there waiting for people, or you can make people wait for you. It's a great theory. Same time, it is a little self-indulgent, but hey, it's their own. I can't imagine Ben Boyce, you're an anxious traveller at the best of times.

You wouldn't, you'd be first on the plane. Yeah, I'd like to be first on the plane. I don't get nervous. I had that happen where my name was called out. Well, what I thought was Benjamin Boyce over the loudspeaker was on the plane. And that was a little bit nerve wracking. And I was like, and the lady came to me, the air steward.

And I was like, oh, it's my name. I think it's been called out. She's like, can I have a look at your ticket? And I was like, uh-oh, because I just had a whole lot of gum. And I put my gum inside my ticket and folded it over and then i was like i had to hand it to her you can see her opening it up it's all the gums like sticky done i was like oh sorry i put gum in it she's like she's like are you five days like this i do not get paid enough for that so i'll wait under the hits this is what we want. Have you had your name shouted out over a loud

speaker? It always makes you nervous if it happens because you're like, what's, it's me. Well, or if it wasn't, it's never really for a great thing, is it? No, it's never like, you've won a big prize, right? I've never had my name shouted out. I had my licence plate shouted out at the school fair. Oh yeah. Parking over someone's driveway. That's the closest I've had to

a celebrity shout out. So 0800 the hits. Have you had your. Parking over someone's driveway. That's the closest I've had to a celebrity shout-out. So, 0800 The Hits, have you had your name called out over a loudspeaker? The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Heavy rain and thunderstorms for a lot of the North Island today. Not looking that great. Just been asking you to call us up, 0800 The Hits. You can text 4487. When you've had your name shouted out over a store PA system, or a big PA system, Megan, your dad, wonderful theory at the airport.

Wayno. He just texts to say he quite likes it. I thought he was going to say, stop telling everyone my secrets, but he was just excited that you called him Wayno, quite likes it. Yeah, well, Wayno seems like a great name. Wayno. So he likes to, when he's at the airport, wait until they call his name on the loudspeaker before he boards.

Makes him feel like a VIP. Bloody gangster. That is some gangster travelling right there. But I did have a question. Like when you came on, firstly as a teenager, teens just love all the attention being on them in that environment, I imagine. But isn't all the prime real estate taken in the overhead cabin?

Yeah, it is. You're trying to jam your bag and there's nowhere to put it. That would stress me out. You're inconveniencing yourself. Sure. Absolutely. We're going to go get Tracey on. Good morning to you, Tracey.

How are you this morning? Good, thank you. Lovely to have you on, Tracey. You got shouted out over a loudspeaker. I did, and I actually had it happen twice on two consecutive occasions at the same store, which is even more embarrassing. A doubleheader. So same trip, same shopping excursion?

Yep. What happened? Well, it was at Mitre 10. And you know how sometimes when you quickly rush down to Mitre 10 or Bunnings, you know, you don't, well, you guys wouldn't, but Megan would, but you just grab your wallet. You don't bring your handbag. So you've got your phone, your wallet in your hand, your car keys.

Yeah. So I went in, shop, your wallet in your hand, your car keys. Yeah. So I went in, shopped around, looked at some stuff. And next thing I hear, you know, is Tracy still in the store? Please come to customer services. I'm like, oh, my God, what have I done? So I went up to customer services and someone had my wallet and they'd handed it in. And I was like, oh, my God, I must have put it down on the shelf while I was looking at something. I do that all the time.

Yeah, picked up my keys, picked up my phone. I was like, oh, thank goodness they were honest and, you know, embarrassed. But, yeah, carried on. Then it must have been a week or a couple of weeks later, out shopping, saying my to Tim's store. And next thing, my name's called out and of course i knew exactly what had happened i was like oh my god you look down and you're like oh where's my wallet it's almost like just relinquish the wallet in that scenario isn't it and i was just hoping it

wasn't the same staff because i'll be thinking oh my god this woman again how cute they'll just come to know you they'll be like trace, Tracey, well, it's at the counter again. You know you're going to learn. Wonderful, honest people, though. I appreciate your call. We're going to send you some hell pizza. Thanks so much for your call this morning. Good on you.

Wendy, get you on. How are you, Wendy? Had your name shouted out on the loudspeaker? Yeah, yeah. Well, I used to work over in Cleendon, South Auckland. Big shout out to Cleendon, yay. Shout out to Cleendon. Very good basketball and netball teams from Cleendon School South Auckland. Big shout out to Clendon. Yay. Shout out to Clendon. Very good basketball and netball teams

from Clendon school. They've got the fastest runners over there, I tell you. So anyway, yeah, so we worked at Working Income. I don't work there anymore and for some reason we always had a bad rep.

So I don't know. So shout out to Working Income. Shout out. Shout out. We toddled in. We toddled in to Clendon and one of the case managers is with me and she's like, hey I need to get some

shapewear and I was like, okay we go to that department over there. She goes over picks up a pair of knickers and she goes, I think they're a bit small and I'm like hmm, I think they're all shapewear anyway, get to the counter and she says we're standing there and we've got clients all around us and the skill goes

you can help me and the case manager I was with goes you know like I need some shapewear but I think they're a bit smaller these are already but anyway

the girl goes and picks them up in front of the whole place right at the counter and she goes hey can someone from the ladies department

come down this lady here needs some shapewear and puts these knickers up really high in front of everyone. We're from work and income, so that's the biggest diss they gave us that day was showing everyone the knickers.

They hung you out to dry, Wendy, and your knickers. And the knickers say, hey, thank goodness I don't work there anymore. Shout out to them, though. Shout out to them. Shout out to you for that. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast I got to talk to my mate Yesterday afternoon

Just phoned him Works in a very What's the word Progressive Work environment Very You know Everything's chill

They're not meeting rooms They're kind of Creative hubs Right It's not a kitchen It's a replenishment centre Right Yeah

Things like all the lingo And they've got like A wellness room For mental health purposes don't we have a wellness room somewhere we do it's the prize cupboard it's in amongst expired pork crackling and tampons i think do we have a wellness room yeah no one knows where is it upstairs level one really yeah i've sat in there and cried many times i don't know about this yeah what's in there drinks it's just honestly it's just a very bleak white room. It probably makes you go, well, it's probably better if I go back to work.

Maybe that's the point, right? But yeah, they've got gender neutral toilets and they sort of specify their genders on their email signatures. So this is the environment we're working in. And he's a progressive guy as well. Yeah. He rides an e-bike to work. Wears chinos that are too short for his legs,

that sort of thing. David Seymour would call him probably woke, you know. What do you eat, sushi, mate? Quinoa. You and your woke food. But here we go. He's like, even me, who he votes green, like I say, rides an e-bike. You've pictured him.

You're judging him already yeah um he's like we've gone one step too far in the company too far so now in uh with having a meeting or the creative hub yeah and they're chatting away uh and someone needs to go to the room nature's calling yeah you're now having a bio break a bio break i'm off for a biological break no and he's like what's wrong with going to the bathroom yeah he's like i'm he's i'm up there i'm the woke of the wokest and he's like even me he's like we've gone the company's gone too far yeah having a bio break it's even more it's kind of confusing as well, isn't it? I like saying the bathroom rather than the toilet,

because then you could be going for a number of reasons. You could be like powdering your nose. You could be not lippy. You could be having a dump. Now we're all going for a bio break, okay? The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. Poppy, my daughter, just text in capitals,

COVID on the plane. That's our favourite line. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Poppy, my daughter, just text in capitals, COVID on the plane. That's our favourite line. It is a great line. Doctor told me to travel. I don't even know what the song's called. It's just COVID on the plane. Stick season. Stick season, yeah.

Hey, Producer Taylor, we have been just mentioning in passing that you are really struggling to sleep at the moment. You've been diagnosed with chronic fatigue by the doctor and the caring, loving, hits audience, they're trying to better you. I know, it's very nice.

Yeah, so many, like we mentioned it yesterday, have you got any remedies for sleeping? And gee whiz, so many texts yesterday, lying your legs vertically against the wall,

spread, did you try that? I did, but, so I will just, so I tried a few things last night. I put the car map on because I pay for that, but I've never used it.

So I put that on and kind of had that to mellow me out. I didn't go on my phone past 7.30, which is huge for me. And I put it in another room so it wasn't even, couldn't even hear it vibrate or anything. All the lights were off. Didn't watch TV in bed or anything. Put an eye mask on. And then, yeah, come that 2 a.m. mark.

You wake up. Wired. So you go to sleep, as we said yesterday. You just wake up and then you can't get back to sleep. There were a lot of cannabis-based solutions coming through. And as a where can you get that from? I think we're doctors, I think. Sorry, what, Johnno?

There's options. The doctor can't even give me bloody sleeping tablets. I don't think he's going to give me weeds. I think you what are you trying to there's options but yeah the legal way the doctor can't even give me bloody sleeping tablets I don't think he's going to give me

weed I think you can't get prescribed yeah legal way you can some people can't get

prescribed people I know my friend's got one a certificate well I've got the doctors today actually so we'll ask you should

who wants one so cherry juice was another one did you try that yeah no I can't handle the taste I hate cherries well they were trying to come up with solutions yeah do you want't handle the taste i hate cherries i even put um magnesium citrate which someone texted in saying that that was the better form

of magnesium for sleep because there's heaps you can get so i bought a powder and put that in the water and if anything i just felt better when i woke up at 2am to now be sleep through okay well let's we'll open them up again what does Taylor try tonight 0800 the telephone number sleeping solutions Megan you're saying well having some young babies in the household might make you tired yeah I my head hits a pillow and it's out

should I come babysit them for a day I will loan you my children if you like that'll do it for you It's out. Shall I come babysit them for a day? I will loan you my children if you like. That'll do it for you. Yeah, listen, the only people who are getting any less sleep than you at the moment are our colourful characters with a few teeth outside the casino. They're the only ones at the moment who are more tired than you, although they look quite alert. Don't they?

I know. How do they have so much energy? I'm jealous. Maybe they're doing these solutions. All right. So I want to know, 0800 the hits, 4487, a solution for the producer Taylor who can't sleep for longer than a couple of hours. What are you doing to go to sleep?

What does she try tonight? So you get to sleep, but then you wake up at 2. Wake up at clockwork. Okay. Yeah, it's so unusual. And I'm starving. Starving when I wake up too. It's almost like you've got jet lag.

Which is, yeah. Have you tried eating lots before bed? I don't want to. You know, I'm starving, starving when I wake up too. It's almost like you've got jet lag. Which is, yeah. Have you tried eating like lots before bed? I don't want to. You know, I'm very health. I'm not sleeping. I'm just trying to. Your poor body is just hungry. I'm hungry all the time because I'm not sleeping properly.

The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. All time high at the moment. 52,000 over the last year, New Zealanders heading overseas. Not surprised. Not surprised. I was very lucky to go to the Gold Coast during the school holidays and just go into the supermarket. It's cheaper, eh?

Wildly cheaper. I was surprised. Even with the exchange rate, you're like, oh. Like what's really cheap? Fruit and veggies I found really, really cheap. You'd go in there as well. You're like, oh, jeez. You know, sometimes things seem like they're marked up oh jeez, you know, you have some type of things

that are marked, seems like they're marked up heaps here but maybe it's just getting... I'd say on average your weekly shop you'd save it

easily $100. Whoa. Over in Australia. On average. And then the wages are meant to be higher. Petrol's cheaper. Anyway,

but... Listen, they've got enough people over there. Stay here and listen to that. Sunnier. Yeah.

The weather's better. Yeah. Yeah, but then you've got to put up with Australians. That's why Producer Taylor moved over here because she was like, I can't do's better. Yeah. Yeah, but then you've got to put up with Australians. That's why producer Taylor moved over here because she was like,

I can't do it anymore. I've had enough of Australians. I need to come here. The only problem is, the only downside is she can't sleep. She's like, I want to come to this

very tiny, expensive country and not sleep. That's what she wants to do. So yes, we're just trying to get Taylor's solutions at the moment. So she's gone to sleep only for like two or three hours

every night, waking up at two, can't get back to sleep, can't sleep during the day. It she's gone to sleep only for like two or three hours every night, waking up at two, can't get back to sleep, can't sleep during the day. It's a fiasco. She's also hungry when she wakes up. So I don't know if that is a trick or something. I feel like eating would be an option before dinner, before bed, just to try that. But she's refused to, so anyway.

Who are you on the phone to, mate? Come in here. We need you on air. Just tell them you're coming on air. She's just talking to someone next door who's obviously giving her some advice. Loads of texts coming through. Oh my gosh. Has she tried hypnotherapy? For a brain reset, says Delta. Yeah, okay.

I've done that and it made me eat mushrooms. It made me eat healthy before my wedding. Yeah. Because I never used to eat mushrooms. Now I eat mushrooms. That's a good idea. We could try that. My friend gave up smoking through hypnotherapy. Yeah. Really? Yep, yep yeah really yeah stopped him but then he did start again 12 months later right for a year there he did uh yeah right so it works in some respect there's one text here in regards to when she's waking up hungry they said um it could be a spike or a drop in sugar levels so if she

eats something before she goes to bed like some plain crackers it might help but yeah like you said she's on a health kick so she doesn't want to eat before she goes to bed, like some plain crackers, it might help. But yeah, like you said, she's on a health kick, so she doesn't want to eat before she goes to sleep. Yeah, like I said, we're coming to the party here. We'll get Georgie on. You're on, welcome. Taylor, chronic fatigue, no sleep, waking up at two, looking like a million dollars as she walks into the studio.

You look beautiful. Just someone who's had no sleep. Glowing. You're looking glowing. No, I'm not. Well, I know you're lying now because I look like crap. Georgie, what do you want to say to Taylor? Hi, Taylor.

You guys have 100% cracked the code. It's all about hunger. So you have to prioritize survival and self-preservation, which is eating. So unless you eat before you sleep you won't be able to sleep if you're in starvation mode. But is that like having dessert? Because last night I had lasagna.

Like I had a huge plate of lasagna. You had what sorry? Lasagna. What do you call it sorry? What how do you guys say it? No I just, what was the dish again? Lasagna. I don't understand.

Oh my god see don't, I feel like you've put a Y in again? Lasagna. I don't understand. Oh, my God. See, don't. I feel like you've put a Y in there. Lasagna. Love you. Love you. Don't hurt me. So, Georgie, she should probably definitely be eating her lasagna every night before she goes to bed.

Yeah. But, like, what time are you eating it? Last night I had dinner at 6.30 Right Is that not normal? No it's normal Let the food settle Yeah

So many Yeah like we said So many suggestions Someone's saying Olba's oil Put that on your pillow Olba's oil That's like that You have it when you've got a cold right?

Clears your sinus Feels like you end up With a very greasy pillow Pouring oil over it every night That's an option Guy's offering to sell you an ounce which is

very generous oh awesome that's probably the most the most fun I've gained on yeah and there was

something called Swiss sleep by Swiss Swiss is the brand oh okay sorry do love the Swiss

people too lovely very neutral bunch of people that's a natural supplement as well, which apparently works a trick. So what are you going to try tonight? And we'll have feedback tomorrow.

I'll eat maybe a bit later then, and I'll have dessert, because then I won't be hungry. Someone also said put crackers beside your bed so I can have a plain cracker if I wake up at 2am hungry, so I'll do that. Don't you take your mouth shut?

How are you going to eat? You take your mouth shut. Oh no sorry I've given up the mouth tape. Are you for real? How much am I dealing with at the moment? Some rough weather around the place particularly in the north today some really strong wind and rain

and potential tornadoes in some pockets. But hold on you were saying Wednesday the weather was going to get better everywhere you've been saying that since monday morning although i said well i did you said warmer yeah it's been the only thing pulling me through this bleak week don't wait till wednesday and then wednesday you're like what tornadoes but it's warmer it's warmer yeah now yesterday we got talking about uh something a lot of kiwis love eh buffet. I feel like Kiwis just love it because you feel like you get money,

you're value for money. You could just gorge yourself. You do. Like pizza, all you could eat back in the day was just a great time. You get to choose and you get to see what you're eating. So there's no like you order it and then you get food envy from your friends. Yeah, but you're doing it with the most eclectic mix of foods on there, like crab sticks with teka masala and pavlova all sort of mounted onto one plate.

Yeah. But you admitted something, which, hey, I don't think you're the only person who does this when they go to the buffet, but you've got a little heist. When the boys' buffet, they buffet hard. Well, yeah, because sometimes, you know, like the very rare times that we've been lucky enough to stay somewhere stay somewhere you know like a resort type thing with a breakfast buffet yeah um you know you're like well this is this is kind of for me going into it i'm like this is going to be

breakfast and lunch kids kids this is breakfast and lunch this is the one meal that's going to see us through until dinner time make the most of it yeah so go hard but sometimes the kids in the morning are like i'm not as hungry i'm'm like, guys. You've got to load up. Load up. Make yourself hungry. Breakfast and lunch. Someone said yesterday the people they know would collect stuff, like put them into little, like.

They would take Tupperware containers and make sandwiches. We're not doing that. I feel like that's frowned upon. That's some professional buffet heisting right there when you're coming in with your own snap locks. That seems wrong. But towards the end, I would always professional buffet heisting right there when you're coming in with your own snap locks. That seems wrong. But towards the end, I would always say to the kids, get something.

You might get a croissant or something or get a little sandwich or something. And then as you walk out, look like you're about to eat it in your hand. Don't eat it, but just walk out with it next to your mouth, smiling at the people. You're like, oh, yeah, I'm just eating, but I'm in a rush. All four of us with a banana and a little croissant or something.

We walk past the people and go, oh, we're just eating this on the way out. And then when we get out, we put it in a napkin All four of us with like a banana and a little croissant or something we walk past the people and go oh we're just eating this on the way out and then when we get out we put it in a napkin and we save that for like a lunch. Surely the maitre d'

is like it's unusual that family pretended to eat but then didn't put the food anywhere near their mouth. We're all very smiley too

like oh lovely thank you so much. And all eating at the same time. All grinning and holding food in their mouth. All pretending to eat muffins and croissants. All the processes. We're about to eat, but we don't eat.

It's like wrapping it up in a paper napkin and putting it in the pocket. But that feels like someone's going to like, their eyes are going to be on you doing that. Shovel some scrambled eggs in a handbag. That feels like stealing. But if we're like, we're just in the process of eating it, but we don't quite eat it on the way out. They would have seen it all.

They would have seen every tactic known to mankind to get those things. Can we get some text from the industry? From the buffet industry? What are the guidelines? Yeah, where do you draw the line? Is taking like a Tupperware container frowned upon? It feels like that's too far. What about a napkin in the pocket?

If it's not i will definitely be going in i'd love to hear the hits the jonah and ben podcast just talking about the buffet quickly yeah uh can you take buffet food from the buffet can you sneak it out um the voices have got a wonderful performance where they pretend to eat food on the way out but don't put it anywhere near their mouth and continue walking we'll decide once they get out the door, oh, actually, no, I'm full. Oh, yeah, I am full, but we'll just save that for a little bit. Apparently the standard is, you know, if you're paid, you're eating there. You're dining in.

So I'm meant to have it within that. But then the text says, but in reality I don't get paid enough to care. They're not going to chase you down and tackle you over a croissant. No. So there we go. That's the rules and guidelines for the buffet game. The Riddler. We do this every week and it's very, very popular.

Thanks to our friends at Dilmar Tea. You can solve a riddle. You'll get yourself a Dilmar Tea hot and cold tea prize pack and $100 cash. Thanks to Dilmar making the world a better tea. Do try it. Now, we have figured out we're one from about 19. Ben, you had a win a couple of weeks ago. And Taylor, she, producer Taylor

who's the riddler, she bewilders us with double meanings and wordplay. That's the key. That's the trick. But you've only had 22 minutes sleep. You're not sleeping at the moment, but this could be the week where we get one on you. Good point actually. Very true. So normally we throw one out to us and then we throw one out to you guys listening.

But who knows? We might get one or none. Yep. So I've got a quick one for you guys. Okay. So I'll just kick things off. I can jump to Woolworths, and I can jump to Chemist Warehouse, and I can probably jump to New World. Okay.

Where can you guys jump to? Oh God, it's one of those things. What are they all having in common? I can jump to Chemist Warehouse. My house. No. Warehouse. Sorry, I'll start things off

by saying, say I can jump to and then give you a place. Okay, so I can jump to Rebel Sport. No. I can jump to and then give you a place okay so I can jump to Rebel Sport no I can jump to Parkinson's

no I can jump to I can jump to have you got a producer's grace no so why can we jump to those places what's the common thing between World Wars

and New World no listen to me again so I can jump to my house, okay? So I can. And I can probably jump to my desk. Okay, so there's two clues for you guys.

I actually hate riddles. Just my brain hurts. I can jump to North Beach. Yep. Yeah, you can. Have you got it? And I could probably jump to reception? No.

Damn it. I thought that was just the way you said it. I could jump to Taylor's desk. No. You can't. You just do. Yeah. Don't give it to them, Grace.

Okay, so this is real. I think we need to throw this out to you. Can you solve this riddle? We've got Delisha. Delisha's phoning through from Blenheim. Where can you jump to Delisha? My chair? No. Why can't she jump to your chair? Is there something in the spelling of the words?

Something in the delivery I'd say. And the wording. I thought I'd say, and the wording. I thought I had it, but I didn't. Well, you did have it. Let's go to Nadia. Ben, you're on the air. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast, my friend. Where can you jump to?

I can jump to the studio. Yes, you can, Ben. Why can you do that? Where else can he jump to? I can jump to the radio. Yes, you can. Do you have to say jump to the radio. Yes, you can. Do you have to say um in there? Yes, you do. Oh, God!

Because I said um the first time and I did it on the next one. Why? That's the riddle. I can jump to um. Yeah. Well, well done. You've got yourself $100 in a Dilmar tea hot and cold tea price pack. Oh, look it.

Thank you. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Now, we took the wonderful Megan Pappas out yesterday, the fashionista of the show. Slipped into conversation that she doesn't wear merch. She doesn't wear concert merch.

I feel like you don't need to be a fashionista to not wear merch because a lot of the girls around the office were like, well, we don't wear merch either. No, true. Yeah, we had a big group meeting

and Ben and I were like, we love merch. That's our thing. That's the base of all of our... How would they know what sports teams I like if I'm not wearing merch? If I'm not brandishing it on my body. How do they know that this guy is infatuated with Olivia Rodrigo? Yeah.

This 40-something man. Wear a t-shirt with Olivia Rodrigo's face on it. No one would know. Yeah, exactly. Anyway, so you've had an anti-merch stance for a while now. You're part of it to your kids know. Yeah, exactly. Anyway, so you've had an anti-merch stance for a while now. You're part of it to your kids too. Yeah, they're not allowed.

We go to like wiggle shows and stuff and they're not allowed merch. No merch. Great play though. No merch. Great play though

because you do end up as a lot of plastic landfill from those things. I get you. Anyway, we took you to town yesterday, dressed you up in a big Bunnings hat

and Pepsi t-shirts and export gold gear, sent you into, you know, Dior, Prada and all t-shirts and export gold gear, sent you into Dior, Prada and all the Gucci and Louis Vuitton, et cetera. And so we're filming. We're like, this is great. Bit of workplace bullying. John and Ben having a laugh, making poor Megan do stuff she doesn't want to do.

Well, yeah, you agreed to do it. I did. But I never seen you as nervous going into it. My mouth was dry. We didn't mention that in one of those stores, I got my photo taken, like one of the shopkeepers like on the sly took my photo and I was like, I don't know.

I don't think it's to post being like, look at this fashion. They're sending that straight to the designers, baby. That's on the wall in their office being like, don't let in. I feel like they're going to bring Fashion Week back after seeing you yesterday. Yeah, they're like, we cancelled it, but now.

So you'll hear all what happened after 8 o'clock this morning, but we need to bring up something that happened to us. This is off air. The mics were still rolling, though. A very energetic lady came up to us. Very energetic, very energetic. Looks like she hadn't had much sleep over the last couple of days, but quite energetic.

And she came up and she must have used to watch the television. So here's part one. It was just all straight from the playbook. I love you. Hey. How can I watch your guys' program? How can I help you? Hello.

I f***ing love John O'Byrne. This is Mumba C. Yeah. Okay, I've got to go. So, yeah, well, high fives, hugs. She loved the TV show when it was on. It was great. It was great. It was good for the ego.

You guys have a TV show. You should have said something. She watched it. Not enough people watched it. That was the problem. She was one of them. So then we're like, hey, that's done for. We'll move on.

Then she turns around, okay, comes back for a round two. And I know this brought you so much joy, Megan. So much joy. Okay, here we go. Okay, I've got to go. See you, Mum, see you. Love your work, mate. Wait, we're trying to start your band name.

Yeah. Hey, you look old now. What did you just say? You look old now. What happened to you? So good. What happened to you? So good. What happened to you? High highs, low lows.

I wanted that Bunnings straw hat to hide under after that. What happened to you? That sums up our career.