Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL SHOW: Ben's punching Jono in the d*ck?!

Episode Date: May 13, 2024

ON THE SHOW TODAY When to stop a standing ovation. Megan HATES merch... Handle the scandal. Waiter who remembers everything! Say in the bedroom and... at the office. DM: My Mum doiesn't like my Fiancé! Sleep advice. Check us out! Facebook: The Hits Breakfast with Jono and Ben Instagram: TheHitsBreakfastSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Cheers to Dilma, making the world a better tea. The show, Megan Puppers, back. Good to have you with us. Thanks, good to be back. You lost your voice on Friday. Yeah, I only just got it back. I'm feeling a little bit husky.

Sounds... What? Well, if Ben had a husky voice, I'd say it sounds sexy. Sounds sickly, you sound sick. No, I don't feel sick. I feel fine. Yeah. Well, it's good to have you back.

You made it through the news bulletin there. Ben, I know you're fresh off a week of nonstop musical theatre in your family. Yeah. Yeah, Sienna was doing School of Rock, wasn't she? School of Rock, yeah. It was a busy week for, you know, particularly her. Like, you know, late nights, 11 o'clock and all sorts, and then starting again

the next day and pack up but it was awesome it was awesome see I saw one thing I did wonder you know

the because a couple nights we went along you know then people would do a standing ovation at the end but

oh well they end a standing o there's always that first person the first I always admire the first person that stands up

on a standing ovation that takes confidence that's a hero because you don't know if you're going to be the only one like I was it was an incredible show

it was awesome But you know Like I'm like I can clap just as loudly Sitting down as well as standing up So I'm not going to be That first person to stand up I joined in

But Who doesn't So you're at like A school production And someone stands up Who doesn't also stand up Oh I know Like half the crowd

But you still don't know It's still a risk I reckon that person Is a real risk taker I'm going up Because others might be I didn't know it's still a risk I reckon that person is a real risk taker I'm going up because others might be I didn't think it was worthy of standing up

you know you must have an attachment to someone on stage fair enough but what you want to do is you never want to look around you just want to stand up you stare at that stage

and you just pray to God that other people are doing behind you otherwise you awkwardly say I'm still standing or I'm sitting or you know yeah

and how long do this is always the thing there was something at Cannes wasn't there with old Brendan Fraser yeah Brendan Fraser got like a 26 minute standing ovation

someone's also as much as someone needs to lead the standing o someone also needs to lead the end of it and go take control yeah

okay that's enough that's excessive 26 minutes I don't know if it was 26 minutes but it was a long time. It was, yeah. I think it's typical. Anything I say,

just don't really believe it. Yeah, it was a long time. I don't know, like 14 minutes or something. Still, that's a long time. Yeah, that is a long time. It's a quarter of an hour. It was good, but we've done it now.

We stood, we clapped. Oh, six minutes. There you go. You stood. We clapped. Oh, six minutes. There you go. You said you're 26 minutes. You added 20 minutes. Don't let the truth get in the way of a good story. Six minutes. That's still long.

That is a long time. I mean, when you think you're standing up clapping. There's no 26 minutes, though. What was I thinking? Jeez, I just say stuff. I'm sorry. And so how long was the standing up? Oh, it wasn't six minutes

it was a good few minutes yeah probably a couple months was there ever a night where you were like oh do we have to stand i've seen that it wasn't as good as the other night yeah no i mean i went three times on the final night everyone got up which is awesome so yeah it was really cool yeah i love it when the cast have orchestrated the ending you know a wave will come out yeah and then they bring out the main character. Yay! Did they do that? Yeah, they did.

Thank them. The people playing live music as well and all that. And at the final night, all the teachers and stuff had worked on it. So it was really cool. It was a really cool thing to be part of. That's nice. Yeah. We're not holding you hostage.

You can leave. That's all I'm saying. But we'd like to do some thank yous, which I thought was cool. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. 47 years on Kiwi screens. Fair Go for the final time was broadcast on TVNZ, and it was pretty emotional. Thanks, guys.

It's been a very special time for us. And thanks to you, our viewers, for making our time on Fair Go so special, for writing to us, for watching us, and for supporting us for nearly five decades. So from all of us here, Palmare. It's been incredible. Almost 50 years of the show.

It's going to still continue, I think, by the sound of it, on digital form. So they'll be doing some segments online, from what I understand, but no longer on TV. Oh, right. So the show's still going in some capacity? It seems like our email's still open. It's still going.

You can still email at us. So yeah, I'm guessing they might do some segments. Oh, that's good. On a website or something. The only people happy about Fairgo ending are the money-grubbing used car dealers from around the country. They're like, finally.

They won't be riding my ass anymore. That's true, actually. Turn back the odometers and all sorts. But they've done some wonderful work over the years, Figo, haven't they? 47 years. I feel like everyone in their life has said at one point, take them to Figo. Yeah, I know.

It's just thinking that. Yeah. It's always this thing you can hang over the, you know, over the heads of men. Take them to Figo. Oh, and I go, oh, immediately they back off. Yeah. The ultimate threat.

Yeah. It's the adult version of I'll count to ten that's actually you're right well that's that's very and you've also got to

there's so many hard working people that behind the scenes on shows like that as well who put in tireless hours you don't really

appreciate that when you turn on a show on Netflix or you know watch something on TV you're like ugh boring

move on but you're like there's probably 20 or 30 people who poured their heart and soul into that thing you know, watching on TV, you're like, ugh, boring, move on. But you're like, there's probably bloody 20 or 30 people who poured their heart and soul into that thing, you know? Yeah. You judge it pretty quickly, right? Yeah, Kevin Milne, of course, he was a long-standing host of the show. He coined the phrase rip-off merchants.

My dad loves to use that, too. Bloody rip-off merchants. Anytime something happens, he's like, oh, the rip-off merchants. Oh, Milne really got into the, threw his weight behind the carpet game, didn't he? He did. Carpet court, carpet mill. One of the carpet manufacturers. But he was on there for like, geez, he would have been on there for 30 plus years, wouldn't he?

Probably, yeah. I watched him when I was little on Fair Go. Yeah. What's the sad? Institution. Yeah, sad that it's going. And you feel like for the audience that love it, the place to keep it is on TV. What are you saying, Ben?

Well, I'm saying the older audience, like my dad who loves the show, he's probably not going to be checking it out as much online. It's great it's still continuing, but it's not, you know. Your dad who loves saying rip-off merchants. He does love saying rip-off merchants. He's not an on-demand guy. I remember as a kid he would say rip-off merchants.

Oh God, Dad, please don't. Oh, they're just rip off merch. Say this. One time we ordered something from a takeaway restaurant or something, and I ordered for both of us, and he didn't realize. And so Dad ordered again, and they gave us double our meal. And they're like, oh, sorry, we've already made it. He's like, oh, you guys, rip off merch.

It was clearly down to us. We'd badly ordered this thing. It was a long line of the Q and A's, and I'm like, Dad. Stop calling everyone for that. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Black Sam Kane, who was actually contracted through to the end of next year, has been granted an early release by New Zealand Rugby. He's going to play in Japan next year.

Will no longer be All Black captain, but he's still available for the All Blacks this year. 95 tests led the All Blacks on 27 times. All Black captain, but he's still available for the All Blacks this year. 95 tests, led the All Blacks on 27 times, a real All Black legend. So it's awesome if he can continue to play one more year, but, you know, sad when a career comes to the end. Well, it's good too that he can, you know, go to Japan for three years.

Yeah. Make some of that. Yeah, yeah, true. I know. At the moment I'm rubbing my fingers against my thumb. Not great for radio, but, yeah, thank you, CM Kane, for all of your wonderful years. Seems like a lovely guy, CM Kane.

It does, yeah. And it was hard, hard watching that loss, wasn't it? On all the team's faces. The World Cup. World Cup, yeah. Heartbreaking stuff. All right. Speaking of heartbreak, scandals.

There's a lot of them happening all of the time. We've got Richard and Everly from sales. They're smooching up a storm in the car park. We don't talk about that, though, do we? No. Have you been following Drake and Kendrick Lamar at the moment? Gee whiz, they are just releasing... Dis-Trash.

Still going, are they? Well, I feel like they've covered all content that could be covered. They've done like four diss songs each. Kendrick's got to the stage where he's rapping to Drake's parents saying you've raised a horrible human being. Oh, really? You know, I feel like, okay, you've probably run out of content, guys. We get it.

So that scandal's going on at the moment, but this has handled the scandal where I test Megan and Ben's knowledge of scandals from years gone by. Now, Megan, previously Ben's gone first. I'm going to give you the chance. You've also given him a helping hand each time. The other option is we just both jump in if we know, and then we don't have to – then we can keep count rather than the 30 seconds.

Should we try that? Should we try that? So you're playing together as a team? No, we're playing – oh, okay, let's play together as a team. All right, let's do it. Okay, no, we'll take each other on. Okay, fine then. So say your name if you know the scandal.

Oh, okay. We'll lose – this is live brainstorming. Sorry, I was just testing my buzzer. You're just going to go early It's working So no clock No clock Okay no clock Clockless handle the scandal

Here we go The first one Basketballer Ben I'm guessing the one he said before Tristan Thompson Well done Basketballer

I could also read Lamar Odom Yeah I know But only because he said When in relationships and stuff Yeah that's right On to the next one Sneaky US lawyer lady Rips her husband away from his family, then went on Oprah to talk crap on the family,

then did a documentary talking crap on the family, then did nine podcasts to talk crap on the family. Oh. Sneaky. US lawyer lady. Sneaky. Well. Well.

He's got me stumped on this one. Is she? Is she Is she a lawyer I don't know Sneaky US lawyer lady rips Her man away from his family Then they talk to Oprah about it and crap on his family Then they did nine podcasts crapping on us

Oh you talk about Meghan Markle Bang there we go Why is she a lawyer? Oh, because of suits. Yeah. All right, done. After 10 years, shock marriage split. Aussie battler she was married to then went and bragged about how she could afford to buy her own flowers from the florist. Miley Cyrus.

Oh, yeah. Yes. Oh, yeah. I was going to say Ben, but anyway, you just blew it up. Oh, sorry. That's all right. 1997, probably the very first viral spicy celebrity tape on a boat. He actually had his own.

Oh, Ben. Pamela Anderson, Tommy Lee. Bam. Oh, I didn't know. I had no idea the contents of that video. Ben, do you? Well, I'm afraid about it. Megan, yeah.

His rudder could have steered that boat I'll tell you that alright so this is the decider here we go okay 2001 before Gold Rears went on her shopping spree

this A-list oh Ben won out a rider yes damn it she nicked a handbag didn't she the hits

the Jono and Ben podcast a lot of people are on diets from time to time trying to lose weight and you may think McDonald's might not be an option if you're in that situation It's the Jono and Ben podcast. A lot of people are on diets from time to time, trying to lose weight. And you may think McDonald's might not be an option if you're in that situation. Well, a dietician overseas has said the one meal you could order, according to them. Salad.

Well, no, it's not. It's like a classic burger. So no cheese. So you're looking at your hamburger. No Big Mac or anything, but just a classic hamburger with apple slices on the side and an unsweetened iced tea. But you can still have a burger. So you're just having two buns and a meat patty. You can get the hamburger one if you don't want the cheese.

It's basically like a cheeseburger without the cheese. Oh, so the pickled onion. So you've got a little slither of meat, two buns and some sauce. Okay, but I didn't. You really promised the world there. And I'll have some apple slices on the side, thank you. Well, okay. You're just saying if you've got, you know,

people going to McDonald's, you're like, oh, I can't, I can't. You know, you can. Well, you're probably better off just having a sandwich and some apples. Might be slightly more enjoyable. But you do hear those stories of this 96-year-old who ate McDonald's every day and is still loving.

You hear those, don't you? You do, yeah. I'll tell you what, it was quite impressive. We went out for lunch over the weekend, a Mother's Day lunch out with my wife's mum. And it always amazes me when the waiter, they don't write anything down. When you work at a cafe, you own the cafe. When they had a table, and then they're just like, and I'm like, why do they do that? It's impressive when they get it right,

but it just feels like something's going to go wrong, and you could just write it down. I reckon they're showing off. I reckon they've got a bloody phone with a voice recorder. The voice recorder in their sleeve, you know? And then they go back and listen to it. And they're like, okay, that's what they are, because I'm like, this is risky.

Yeah, and someone like you the whole time will be like, they're not remembering. They're going to get it wrong. They're going to get it wrong. And then someone says something else, and someone asks a question, time will be like, they're not remembering. They're going to get it wrong. They're going to get it wrong. And then someone says something else and someone asks a question, you're like, uh-oh, uh-oh. It's when you see them start to glaze over like this is a mistake when someone's like, I'll have this, but without that and that,

and then I'll have this with coconut milk. And then they're like, oh, God. You almost want to go on a point-proving mission, don't you, and make the most complicated order. No halloumi, hold the tomato on that one. Actually, cancel that I'll come back with that jeez they must forget

some really important stuff in their day to day though these waiters you know anniversaries birthdays filled up with that content did you do that

Megan or could you have did I remember no I wrote it down just because I didn't want to make a mistake good

yeah and as the consumer as the customer you're like, great. But if it's like two people at a table, I'd remember.

But you know, like any more than that and I'd write it down. But there's only so many items on a menu, isn't there? Yeah, yeah. How do they remember?

Are their waiters listening now? Is it like an association with, oh, Megan's got a leather jacket on, she ordered the eggs benedict. Like, how do you,

there must be some sort of mind trick to it maybe you are listening right now 4487 is our text number 0800 the hits but next as well blonde guy with blonde hair ordered one weird

McDonald's cheeseburger and slices of apple and an unsweetened iced tea boring the hits the Jono and Ben podcast yeah Megan right now though

someone has slid into Megan's DMs. We do this every week or when someone slides into your DMs with a bit of a dilemma that we can put to you and hopefully you can help them out on 0800 THE HITS. Yes, this week it reads, Hi guys, I have a Dear Megan situation for you. My mum doesn't like my husband. She tolerates him and is nice and polite to him always,

but we were planning to go away on holiday with the whole family and stay together at an Airbnb, and she has now told me she doesn't want to stay in a house with him. She said she can't tolerate being around him and staying with him 24-7. It's actually so upsetting for me because they are two of the most important people in my life, and to make it worse, he doesn't know she doesn't like him. I can't tell him that she doesn't want to stay because of him, but she says she won't come otherwise. I feel like I'm going to end up upsetting one of them

and I don't want to do that. What's this guy done? Actually, that was my first question, so I actually asked a follow-up question. So he made a silly drunken comment at the family table at a wedding. So he made like a joke that didn't go down well. You always got to read the room when you're delivering your comedy to extended family members, don't you?

It was obviously bad enough for the mum to be like, no, done. In that situation, you always hope that someone does something worse than you at the wedding. Yeah. You know,

someone, you know, knocks Nana into the cake or something, which overshadows your terrible moment. So what do we want? We want some advice for her.

Yeah. And to say how she navigates this because obviously the mum doesn't want to hang out with him and she doesn't want to, yeah. She obviously doesn't want the confrontation or the conflict and I get it. Yeah. And to how she navigates this, because obviously the mum doesn't want to hang out with him, and she doesn't want to... She obviously doesn't want the confrontation or the conflict, and I get it.

Yeah. You don't want... Because then he's going to feel awkward. The best thing, I don't know much about family affairs, but the best thing I reckon is to just suppress it, pretend it doesn't exist, let it bubble away for a number of years until it explodes in a volcano of anger.

It's like my ankles on a long-haul flight. I don't know what I would do in that scenario. You don't want to cancel the trip, but you don't want to push your mum into it. Yeah. Because normally I'd say you don't have to hang out. You don't have to hang out. I mean, obviously birthdays and Christmases, but you're not in a relationship. You know, mum doesn't have to

you're the partner don't have to hang out no they can be civil they can be civil yeah on occasion so going away

feels like a step too far but you've already committed to that why don't you just get a separate accommodation do your own accommodation away from it's a good idea

you know and then you just see in pockets she can kind of play guard she can go hey well let's not go over there

just let's do some other stuff you know? She can play protector. I'll hear one of your jokes, but maybe don't tell it to anyone else. That's the situation. And you can tell

all your husbands because you're like, well, I just want it to be us. Just us. But I imagine there's people listening right now that have, you know, their relationships

where their partner does not get on with the parents. And that happens. That's natural, right? You don't have to get on. Human behavior. But it makes a heart. We did speak to someone on this show actually a few years ago and she didn't get along with her mother-in-law on christmas day oh god she dropped her husband

off to have christmas dinner she sat at the end of the driveway in the car yeah for four hours are you joking did you not have anywhere else to go, though? She just sat at the end? We didn't ask that. Would have been good if you were on the show this time. Did anyone look out the window and like, what is she doing? There you go. So that's a solution. Yeah. Okay.

I'll add her the hints. Maybe don't get on or maybe have the situation happen with your relationship. How bad was the joke, too? Yeah, it must have been pretty bad. Or mum's really sensitive. Maybe we should play the Netflix roast. Yeah, and then go, hey, look at all these jokes. Yeah, must be pretty bad. Or mum's really sensitive. Maybe we should play the Netflix roast. Yeah,

and then go, hey, look at all these jokes. Yeah. The hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. The All Black Sam Cain has asked for

to be an early release, released early, sorry, from his New Zealand rugby contract. He'll go to Japan next year, which means his final season with the All Blacks

will be this year, but no longer captain. So well done to Sam Cain on an amazing career for the All Blacks. 95 games, this thing you see? Yeah, 95 tests. 95 tests, wow. So then hundreds and hundreds of games.

Yeah, pretty incredible, eh? Well, thank you, Sam Kane. You've been a wonderful ambassador for the sport. Now, dear Megan. Dear Megan. So this comes from someone who is in a situation between her husband and her mum. Basically, we did a follow-up question and found out that the husband made an inappropriate joke,

a drunken joke at a wedding, and now her mum doesn't like her husband. They were planning to go on a holiday together and all stay together at an Airbnb, but she's now told her she doesn't want to stay in the same house with him. Also, the husband is blissfully unaware. Which I love. I just love that he's so... He doesn't know that the mum doesn't like him. How do you not know when someone's not vibing you?

You do know. You get an idea, don't you? Yeah. Maybe he's just like, hey. I hope he hasn't been firing out any more jokes since the initial piece of comedy. Here's a potential solution. Could she put a moustache on him and a wig? Tell him to put on a German accent.

He's her new husband. He might ask some questions as to why he's having to do this. Every time you're around my mum, just put on that German accent. This is Hans Kruger. A lot of people weighing in on the Facebook page and on texts and on calls. A lot of people saying, well, it just sounds like the mother will be staying home then. Don't let the mother be manipulating. Tell her to stay home and not come at all.

There's another person, Vicky, said she's had the same problem. My mother doesn't like the partner. For 19 years ago, I don't give her an ultimatum. Either make an effort or stay home. Don't ruin the holiday. So that's pretty much the things. And I probably would agree with him. It's kind of like, well, don't come then. If you don't want to come, then don't come. Sure. You're the much the things and I probably I would agree with them that's kind of like well don't come then you don't want to come

don't come she's yeah you're the one who's got the problem with it he's a hard line from you well I mean what you know I have to come it's meant to be a holiday it's not like it has to be a family occasion everyone has to hang it's over to him yeah shares you're Welcome. Your thoughts on this one. How does she tackle this fiddly situation? Shazza. Hello. Can you hear me now? Yeah, we can, mate.

What do you think? Good morning, team. Hey, look, I think this lady needs to have a sit down with her mom and probably her husband as well. And just say to mom, has he ever offended you in any other way? Was it the once off? And get over it. And she needs to probably have a one-on-one with her husband and say, listen, I heard that my mom was a little bit offended by that joke that you

told when you had a few. Maybe you should just say, hey, mom, you know, I'm really sorry about that if I offended you. Get over it. You die once, you live every day. Oh, she is. What a saying. You sound like a real mature grown-up.

It seems like a very realistic way to deal with things. I'm going to go down to the mall and get that printed on a coffee cup or something. You die once, you live every day. Thank you, Shaz. Great insight there this morning. Debbie, we'll get you off of Palmerston North. How do we navigate this one this morning, Debs? I'm of the same thought as Shazza,

but in the sense that he may not even know that he's offended her. So I think maybe they should just say, the wife should tell him that he's offended her at a wedding or wherever it was. And then, I don't know, maybe they go and speak to the mother-in-law, but at the end of the day, the mother-in-law needs to get over it. That's okay. It seems to be the popular opinion.

I know, but I hate these confrontational chats. Yeah, they're so confrontational. You're like, oh, God. Can you just imagine mediating that, all of you being in the room now? I always find the anticipation of those conversations are a lot worse than once you get into them. Yeah, true. Everyone's just having open, happy dialogue. Yeah.

You work through a resolution. Vic, you're on. Welcome. How are you? I'm good, thanks. Mother-in-law not happy with his lowbrow comedy at the wedding. Doesn't want to go on holiday with her husband. What do you think?

Oh, look, I think they definitely shouldn't try to hide it. And I think that he should be made aware and they should be having a conversation. And then, you know, if she chose her husband, so she might need to make that decision whether they go on holiday. It's a clean sweep. The first ever Dear Megan with a clean sweep. I think that's the message to pass on. All right, Megan?

Yeah, well, it's giving me anxiety thinking about this conversation. Luckily, I don't have to do it. But it seems like you should all just have a chat. And I agree. Tell him and give him the chance to make it up to your mum. Maybe it was the delivery of the joke. Maybe you can have a round two. Come at it from a different angle.

The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. Fair go has ended up with the final episode last night after 47 years. We spoke about it earlier this morning. Amazing, amazing achievement for an iconic New Zealand show. Very sad, though. And doing good. Just out there doing good for the everyday Kiwi battler,

and particularly Kevin Boyce, your father, who managed to get a new phrase from Fair Go. Rip-off merchants. He loves that phrase. And then he end up calling everyone a master and a rip-off merchant and they're like no no we're just doing our job hard working business now megan we've worked with you for you know a number of months now and we've just learned that you won't buy or wear merch i've also like put that down on my kids as

well because we go to like wiggle shows and stuff and I'm like, no, you're not buying any merch. Where did this anti-merch stance come from? I just feel like you get swept up on the moment and then afterwards, like I would never wear it. Amen, you do. You do. I mean, you're talking

to two guys who are dripping in merch. This is all we wear is merch. So what are your classes merch? Like, do you have to have gone to the thing? Like, could you buy a, I don't know, let's say you really get into the Warriors this season. Would you buy a Warriors top don't know, let's say you really get into the Warriors this season.

Would you buy a Warriors top? You know, is that counted as merch? Yes. Okay, right. You wouldn't buy a Warriors top? I wouldn't buy, oh, no. You don't have one piece of merch in your closet? Nah.

Also, I'm a big, you know, big fan of shows and concerts. I don't buy merch. Even like, you know, I love Harry Styles. You wouldn't buy a Harry Styles t-shirt? No. Not even to wear around the house, to the gym? No. Because we went to the Warriors and we'd probably go again.

We're all gone. We're going to turn up in our Warriors tops. We'd just borrow one if you had to. I'd borrow one if I wanted to fit in with everyone else. Right. You wouldn't buy one. I don't know why, no. Because I saw a woman before at the lift and she was wearing a Ferrari jersey

and I'm like big into Formula One. So would you wear that? My favourite team, Ferrari. And I was like, I think that could push me. If it was something cool, I might get some Ferrari merch. Well, that's probably the most affordable of all the merch. A Ferrari merch. Of course you were like, the one piece of merch I'll wear is Ferrari. Like you're wearing a Wu-Tang jersey.

You wouldn't wear this? No. I went to the concert, got swept up in the merch. They had a good play, the Wu-Tang Clan, because they were all wearing these on stage. And everyone's like, oh, I've got to get one of those, you know, dumbass consumers. Oh, yeah, that's a good play.

I'm wearing one too. I'm wearing Olivia on reg. I didn't even go to the tour, but I'm wearing a tour T-shirt. Do you know what? I was almost swayed by, this is before Kanye was cancelled. I was a big Kanye fan. I thought maybe I'd get some Kanye merch, but never did.

That is an issue you do run into when you do get merch. You know, things do change. I don't think Olivia Rodrigo or Taylor Swift are going to be cancelled. I've got a Kanye t-shirt that I'm like, do you not wear it? Well, no, I don't know.

I still think he's an amazing artist, and I was a huge fan of Kanye, but obviously he said some things. things, a lot going on, and it can be polarising when you do it, because people do feel... He said some things about different races and things like that, that people, you know... So I don't stand behind those things.

Which it kind of feels like you do when you wear the merch. Because you've gone to the effort of going, yeah, it's like we were talking about the other day where people put on a Trump hat, you know? You don't just put it on because you're like, oh, this is a nice hat. I bought a Trump hat and all I wanted to do was make America great again.

Who knew what a turn that cap would take? But here, I've got a Michael Jackson Thriller T-shirt. I love the feel of the T-shirt, the cut of the T-shirt, and I ride through it. I still wear that Thriller T-shirt. Thank you. Yeah. I can ignore.

I feel like Michael Jackson is, yeah, probably, I don't know, we're playing out on the hits we've had this discussion before that's the question Can you separate the artist's actions from the artist's work? But then alleged actions

in this case, we don't know there's some people that believe what they believe and I'm not saying that's wrong, but yeah. Was never convicted. Yeah. Yeah.

You do it. I love my Rolf Harris T-shirt. Oh my God, I have a picture of my mum with Rolf Harris when she was young and he's like, he was an ET.

He was a huge entertainer at that time. He was, but he's like gripping onto her and I'm like, this photo hits different these days. I'm like, you all right, Mum? Really good.

Anyway, I do love this no merch starts. Now, just as we've been thinking about this, we've come up with a bit of a plan, okay? So Ben and myself have scoured our wardrobes and brought in some of our favourite merch. And the promotional cupboards here at work. Oh, Jonathan. What I've got is a big old Hiver's Bunnings top.

Yeah. A big Hiver's yellow Bunnings top. We've got like Pepsi merch, like Monster Energy merch. Skinny bucket hat, orange bucket hat. You just want me to wear it all and take a photo. No. Well, you wear it all, yes. Yeah.

But then we're going to take you shopping, babe. We're going to go to all your favourite shops The Gucci's The Louis Vuitton The high end shops No But you've got to wear the merch into the shops That is a highlighter yellow

Long sleeve There's some options We'll play them out for you You can choose which options you want But you have to wear a combination of all You know That wide brim No I love Bunnings

The Bunnings hat Love Bunnings But I'm not going to wear a wide brim Straw I love Bunnings The Bunnings hat Love Bunnings But I'm not going to wear A wide brim Straw Bunnings hat Into like Gucci Okay great Just wear the orange

I don't know if that Let me in Skinny bucket hat That's fine That's fine We're going shopping After the show We're going to put it

All on social media Megan's getting Into the merch game The hits The Jono and Ben podcast This is things you can say In the bedroom And dot dot dot

We do this every week. And this week I was just reading all the comments. It's amazing how many comments we get on these things. We put it on Facebook. You're very creative. There's more comments on that than anything else we've done over the last week. Yeah, great insights. Maybe we should do it up every day.

Things you can say in the bedroom and when you're just walking. Like someone's poured their heart out in a Dear Megan after 7 o'clock. Seven comments, whereas this has got 44 comments. Just rude innuendo. But this is things you can say in the bedroom and while at work in the office. Things like, can I borrow your stapler? No. No, that doesn't really work.

No. Have you got printer privileges? No, that doesn't work either. That's why we leave it to you to come up with these. Right, we'll kick things off. Things you can say in the bedroom and at the office, I'll kick it off. Thanks, everyone, for coming. That's very polite.

A polite way to start the meeting in the office and a polite way to end whatever's taking place in the bedroom. Here's another one. I've invited Gary from Accounts to join us. I want to take a deep dive into this. I'm very flexible. I do like to bounce these things off you. I'm a very hands-on guy.

That's not okay in the office either. No, I mean, there's been a few around here who've been pretty hands-on guys, and they're no longer with us. Keep that attitude up and you'll get the sack. Things you can say in the bedroom in the office. Thanks to you on our Facebook page. There's a lot of balls

in the air. Tell you what, you'd bring the house down if you see that in the bedroom. Wouldn't that add some wonderful comic relief to the whole event? I need a rubber. Can I give you a hand? Can everyone please turn on their cameras

so we can see you This is my spreadsheet This is my spreadsheet Why don't we get started and Marcy and Steve can join in later Not Steve Can I borrow your stapler? Is it going to hit now?

No, no Let it's still not. It's still going to have a couple more. Can you please put that back in my drawers? I think you can stay in the bedroom and in the office. I'm in the middle of something. Can I call you later? There we go. There we go.

Thank you very much for all of your... There's still more. There's plenty more on our Facebook page. They are very impressive. So thank you very much, Stephen. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. There's plenty more on our Facebook page. They are very impressive. So thank you very much, Sarah. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

There's always some wild stuff going on around the world and thanks to the internet we get to see about it, hear about it, read about it and actually the Wild Wild Web is our other podcast that we do each day

focusing on some of the strangest things that happen on the internet and catch that on iHeartRadio. Yeah. Megan's stumbled across... Quickly, sorry, before we get to that,

you were just talking about how waiters remember orders. Apparently it's called clumping. At least you're chunking. Chunking, sorry. He's trying to remember what it's called. And it's right in front of me. Where waiters memorise without writing things down

by creating a story. So, for example, they've said here, lady at table eight orders a glass of white wine. The gentleman next to her orders a whiskey and a glass of water and then that's how they remember what people have ordered, by creating a story in their head about the people at the table and what they've ordered

or you could just write it down yeah you could just write it down, it seems like a lot of effort there's other options, but I guess you know your job you want to probably test yourself and things as well so that's probably a way to make it more entertaining yeah, there you go, anyway so you've got this on your feed. This made Jono and I absolutely cackle this morning.

So it is an audition from X Factor Spain. The thing is, it's not bad. She's good. I feel like she's good, right? But maybe there's lots of different voices she can do, and she's trying to do them all in the one song. Right. Making it her own.

That's what they always say. They're making it her own. She's making it her own. Tell you what, Sia what sia would be like wow you definitely made it so she's singing sia chandelier hello one two three one two three one two three one two three three one two three one two three drink throw them back to life let's go yeah she's actually really good you're right she's good. Yeah, she's actually really good. You're right. She's just adding some different flavor to it, you know? That's a Spanish flavor. She underlay. Oh, she's great.

Do you know what? She was probably auditioned off camera. The producers like that. It was fantastic. You were so good. You need to get out there and do exactly that. They'll love it love it do them dirty they always do

it's reality TV the more you know about that you're like oh these poor people and they'll be like really? oh I could do it like this way no no no

do it that way do you think I'd run it a bit straighter? nah like the flare you'll stand out they'll love you send them out there

just mind eff them into going out there and getting mocked and bullied she held that big note though she did yeah

she's like yeah I can sing the song normally and they're like no no no how about you do this what the hits

the Jono and Ben podcast very funny and random conversation with a florist over the weekend popped in quickly on Saturday because my daughter was doing her productions I had a very funny and random conversation with a florist over the weekend. It popped in quickly on Saturday because my daughter was doing her musical production.

I thought I should get maybe a little bouquet of flowers because that's what happens, seems to be on the final night. I've been shown up by other parents in the past. So I'm like, I need to get a little bouquet of flowers for the amazing work she's done over the past few months and final night. So I went into the florist Saturday and it was really busy. And then of course it was mother's day the day the day after so heaps of people were in there lots of people so packed packed florist and the lady behind the counter she was quite hard case she's like another one in for mother's day are you and i went oh no i'm just here my daughter i just want to get a bouquet of flowers be with you in a second she's quite loud

talking to everyone i'm like it's fine and as I got to the to the counter um we're talking she goes oh you didn't recognize you with your blonde hair there for a second you're Jono and Ben I was like yeah yeah and we're having a conversation I don't know which one you are Jono and or Ben and then I you know I just went yeah I know I said oh yeah I'm Ben because I answered either but that's fine so we had a conversation but I was very you know you're having a conversation there's lots of people around but that's fine she's like what are you guys doing these days I'm like we're on the hits and talking through all that

and bought the flowers and as I left she said can you give Jono a message for me and I was like oh dear god and I was like okay this is

how many people are in the shop hearing this there's probably like a good six to eight people hanging around in the shop and this one messaged me and I've got the beep

ready producer Grace is this a message that could have just been delivered to me off air well no it's a very unusual message i said can you go up to john i'm like okay and yeah and can you punch him in the yeah and i was like oh loudly across everyone they had to be in front of their customers what to punch him in the okay and i was like yeah no worries I'll definitely be doing that first thing I do is that why you were caressing them this morning

I just asked no questions so for or after he punched them yeah so as I said it was a hilarious encounter and I've never had that before so very unusual

there was no back story as to why he was getting a punch no it was just it just kind of seemed for her I guess it seemed like something we'd do

well listen I'll happily take it I'll happily take it. I'll happily take it. Appreciate the... The other customers must have been like, who is this? I was a little rattled as I walked out the flowers. Did they mark the prices up for Mother's Day? And did you get caught in that slipstream?

I don't know. Because you're like, I'm not here for that. Yeah, true. I don't know. These are just congratulatory. These are not Mother's Day flowers. You're right. I was hoping you were going to go in and be like, I'd like to order a bunch for Sienna and for Amanda

and then see what the banter would have been. No, I didn't do that, actually. I should probably be in hindsight. Probably in hindsight. I should have gone to Mother's Day. Maybe she was pointing at me. Oh, you didn't get your wife any flowers. Maybe I should have punched myself in the...

You were right there. Yeah, well, no, but it wasn't there anyway. It was sort of... It was literally at the counter. That wasn't the reason. All it would take is to go go I'll get another one as well I already sorted the Mother's Day stuff out She also reminded you

Like you're here for Mother's Day No not at all No mate not me Not me 47 years on Kiwi screens Fair Go for the final time Was broadcast on TVNZ And it was pretty emotional

Thanks guys It's been a very special time for us and thanks to you, our viewers, for making our time on Fairgo so special, for writing to us, for watching us and for supporting us for nearly five decades. So from all of us here, Pau Marie.

Pretty incredible. Almost 50 years of the show. It's going to still continue, I think, by the sound of it, on digital form. So they'll be doing some segments online, from what I understand, but no longer on TV. Oh, right. So the show's still going in some capacity?

It seems like our email's still open. It's still going. You can still email at us. So, yeah, I'm guessing they might do some segments. Oh, that's good. Or a website or something. The only people happy about Fair Go End Are the money grubbing used car dealers From around the country

They're like finally They won't be riding my arse anymore Turn back the odometers and all sorts But they've done some wonderful work over the years Fairgo Haven't they? 47 years I feel like everyone in their life Has said at one point take them to Fairgo Yeah I know I was just thinking that

It's always those things you can hang over the heads of men. Take them to Figo. Oh, and I go, immediately they back off. The ultimate threat. It's the adult version of I'll count to ten. That's actually right. Well, that's very sweet. And you've also got so many hardworking people behind the scenes

on shows like that as well who put in tireless hours. You don't really appreciate that when you turn on a show on Netflix or watch something on TV. You're like, ugh, boring, move on. But you're like, there's probably 20 or 30 people who poured their heart and soul into that thing. You judge it pretty quickly, right? Kevin Milne, of course, he was a long-standing host of the show.

He coined the phrase rip-off merchants. My dad loves to use that, too. Anytime he gets... Bloody rip-off merchants. Oh, yeah. Anytime something happens, he's like, oh, the rip-off merchants. Oh, Milne really got into the... Threw his weight behind the carpet game, didn't he?

He did. Carpet court. Carpet mill? Yeah. One of the carpet manufacturers. But he was on there for like... Geez, he would have been on there for 30- plus years, wouldn't he? Probably, yeah. I watched him when I was little on Fair Go.

Yeah. Institution. Yeah, sad that it's going. And you feel like for the audience that love it, the place to keep it is on TV. What are you saying, Ben? Well, I'm saying the older audience, like my dad, who loves the show, he's not going to be checking it out

as much online. It's great it's still continuing, but it's not, you know. Your dad who loves saying rip-off probably not going to be checking it out as much online it's great it's still continuing but it's not yeah your dad who loves saying rip-off he just loves saying he's not an on-demand i remember as a kid he would say rip-off merchants oh god dad please don't please oh they're just rip-off merchants one time we ordered something from a takeaway restaurant or something and i i ordered for both of us and he didn't realize and so Dad ordered again and they gave us double our meal and they were like oh sorry we've already made it and he's like oh you guys are ripped off it was clearly down to us

we'd badly ordered this thing it was a long line of the Q&A and I'm like Dad stop calling everyone the hits the Jono and Ben podcast don't forget you're listening out for Dasher Austin That is the key song This hour

When we play Did you bootstrap My candy Let's go and sing that Oh I heard the hits When you hear it And you could win one Well in the draw

To get one of the five Keys that will unlock Your rent or mortgage Paid for entire 12 months Thanks to One Roof Property No as we've said Many many times It's one of the great joys

Of working on This wonderful radio station Is that there's helpful people listening, Ben Boyce. Yeah, there is. Not the other monstrous radio stations where they want to see you fail. Yeah. Here they want to help you succeed. And at the moment we're on a mission to get producer Taylor a full night's sleep.

Hasn't slept properly for three weeks. Not properly, right? Yeah, not properly. Chronic fatigue. Mm-hmm. Exhausted by working with us every day. Yep. Yep.

I need a good night's sleep after my time with you guys here cup of tea and a lie down that's all we've got Dilma proud supporters of the show try that if Marcello read

Sleeping Beauty to you as a night time story it'd be like an erotic fiction how long was she asleep for oh she slept for months on end wouldn't you love that wouldn't you like to be Sleeping Beauty no

right now yeah yeah I'd like to be Sleeping Beauty wow Right now. Yeah, I'd like to be Sleeping Beauty. Wow, how can we get Taylor to sleep? Joe, you're on. Yeah, hi. Have you tried a weighted blanket? So it's slightly heavier than a normal blanket, and

you get them for kids, but you can get them for, I presume you can get it larger sizes as well, and it's slightly heavier, and yeah, helps you sleep. It's good for, like, anxious people because I wanted to get one. It's like someone's giving you a constant, like, cuddle. That's nice. So we're not talking, like, 70 kgs of weight on top of you or anything.

It's just, like, a lightweight. No, yeah. It just makes you feel, I guess, a bit more secure. Just a blanket, not a garment. Yeah. Okay. Good on you, Joe. Yeah, that sounds nice. I'd be, not a apartment. Yeah. Okay. Good on you, Joe. Yeah, that sounds nice.

I'd be keen to try that for sure. A bunch of texts coming in here. Magnesium, obviously, a very popular one. I get insomnia. I buy lavender, magnesium, and sleep lotion, and it works a treat. Okay. Lavender, magnesium, sleep lotion. There's that thing where you put lavender under your pillow.

Some people talk about that as well. I don't know if that works but that's something I've heard that sounds nice lavender always reminds me of my auntie's house doesn't it listen weed based options

many coming through on the text machine can you get those in New Zealand you can actually get them prescribed to you by some medical professionals get medicinal

get medicinal ones cannabis oil and things a lot of texts about that have you tried that app where like Harry Styles reads to you? Yes, I do. I paid $60 for that. And it didn't work?

No, I can't stand voices. It's not enough in my own head. That would maybe get you a bit, well, Harry Styles, maybe get me a bit more excited. Oh, right, okay. What's he reading to? Is he like the paper?

He's doing a guided meditation. Oh. Have you tried the John O'Mead podcast? That'll put you to sleep, that's for sure. Cherry juice, another option, too. Geez, a lot coming through on 4487. Erin. Cherry juice.

Erin, welcome. Oh, kia ora, team. Kia ora to you. Let's get Taylor some sleep. I have tried, well, I've been taking now for a year, a mushroom supplement. And the ones that I take for night time have a reishi mushroom in them.

So it's herbal medicine. They're not magic mushrooms. They're not hallucinogens. It's just food. And they aren't sedative or anything, but they just support sleep and anxiety in the most amazing way I don't really get into supplements and spending money on too many of those things that this one has really helped me and the morning and you can also take one I take a blend in the

morning that has got a few other ones in one particular one, Lion's Mane, really good for just feeling like focus. Mushrooms, herbal mushrooms. Where do you get those from? They're just like a chemist thing, is it? I do buy mine online. There's quite a few places. Can I plug my place that I get them from? Oh, go on then.

Mother Made, Mother Made Mushrooms. It's a New Zealand distribution brand. They come in lovely packaging. There's lots of information on the website about them too. Oh, thank you very much. There we go. Awesome. Thanks, Erin.

Right now, if you could choose how many days nonstop you reckon you could sleep for? Oh, a week, I reckon. A week? I just want a bedrock. Any of those you want to try tonight? Yeah, I'll definitely be keen to go saucer-weighted blanket if I can make it to the shops. Ben will put you in touch with his dealer

and we can make you the first cab off the ring. We can do that as well. We'll get this coming through because we'll see how it works. Hopefully it works. We don't need any more tomorrow. A white noise. I could give you one of the kids' white noise machines. Actually, yeah.

Or you could just do it on YouTube. On the phone, eh? Yeah. The Hits The Jono and Ben Podcast I was talking to a mate yesterday Who, he's like My friend

So His friend's friend Is with a diplomat He's married to a diplomat And she's stationed overseas Okay Okay And he's

He's like He's got diplomatic immunity Do you know And he's talking Like you were talking about secrets. He's like, do you know what that means? He can do anything he wants. And I'm like, anything he wants. And there's no legal repercussions.

So he reckons diplomatic immunity, and I don't know, maybe someone listening right now has diplomatic immunity or has been around someone who's had diplomatic immunity, he reckons you can wander into any country. They can't check your bags. They can't ask you any questions. If you've got something in a special envelope, they can't go, what's in that envelope?

You're like, diplomatic immunity, baby. You're like, you can't smoke yet. Well, yes, I can. Who's a diplomat? Like, is our prime minister a diplomat? Yeah, and I suppose the Prime Minister's wife. Right. Christopher Luxon's wife.

I feel like there's still laws, right? That's what I was saying to him. I was like, surely you just can't go over there, drive on the wrong side of the road and not expect to be dealt with by the law. Or you just pull out your diplomatic card and you get off. It's very wild.

They could smuggle all kinds of things into another country. I mean, probably not that they would. I couldn't be trusted with the diplomatic community. God, no. If that was the case. God, no. It feels like a wild law and an unnecessary one. Why do these people not, if it is true, why don't they have to abide by the law?

Because they're above the law. It's like they get out of jail free card and monopoly, isn't it? Yeah. What are they? Maybe because they're upstanding citizens and they're not Jonos. Yeah're above the law. It's like the get out of jail free card in Monopoly, isn't it? Yeah. Maybe because they're upstanding citizens and they're not Jonos. Yeah, that can be trusted. Yeah.

It feels like there was a bit of a rogue one back in the day who made this law up just to get away with some stuff. Yeah. Oh look,

someone's here. Here we go. Someone's texting. Diplomatic immunity is a principle of international law by which certain foreign government officials are recognised

as having legal immunity from the jurisdiction of another country. It allows diplomats safe passage and freedom of travel in a host country and affords almost total protection from local lawsuits and prosecution. I feel like they can have safe travel into another country while still obeying the laws. Yeah, there's the thing. Some Wikipedia says they're not entirely immune from the jurisdiction of their country.

So you can't get away with it. You can't get away. No, you can't. It sounded like the ultimate get out of jail free card. John was like, how can I become a diplomat? I was like, Jen, you're becoming a diplomat. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Last night after 47 years, which is a heck of a run,

iconic show as well. It will be doing some stuff online by the sound of it, but not quite the same, which is sad for everyone who's done an amazing job on that show. And it was a bit of an emotional sign off last night too.

Thanks guys. It's been a very special time for us. And thanks to you, our viewers, for making our time on Fairgo so special, for writing to us, for watching us and for supporting us for watching us and for supporting us for

nearly five decades so from all of us here yeah really sad just the night before the last episode of Sunday and just announced today no

series of the block this year which means the four houses that already purchased they're going to have to sell as well before renovating them

good times for the industry yeah we're just talking about diplomatic community we're talking to a friend sell as well before renovating them. Good times for the industry. We're just talking about diplomatic immunity. We're talking to a friend who claims his friend has diplomatic immunity because his wife is a diplomat overseas and he can get away with anything. He abides by no law. He can do whatever he wants.

All sorts of nonsense and stuff. We're just trying to get some clarification on what this means because it seems like a wild law. It does. It does. 0800, that's the telephone number. Evan, you've joined us. Welcome, Evan.

Good morning. Shed some light on this wild diplomat immunity law. Well, diplomatic immunity is a get-out-of-jail-free card, but that's all you get, is that the country you're in can't detain you, but they can chuck you out. So there will be consequences. And when you get back to New Zealand, the diplomatic corps in New Zealand will have some very strong words for you.

It is a get-out-of-jail-free card, but it's not abdication of responsibility. Gotcha. Yeah. I went on a trade delegation to China, and we met up with the ambassador at the embassy. And he said, look, I've got diplomatic immunity. You haven't. Don't mess around with the ambassador at the embassy, and he said, look, I've got diplomatic immunity. You haven't. Don't mess around with the Chinese. And all the diplomats in China can be expelled

if they do anything silly. Gotcha, and then you can be prosecuted back home, I guess, in some ways. Well, probably disciplined rather than prosecuted. That still sounds pretty good. Yeah, so you could... It's like a telling off from mum. Yeah, you could discipline your diplomatic immunity like a telling off from mum. Yeah.

You could do some more stuff. Diplomatic immunity, I imagine. You might lose your high-powered job in Wellington and have to actually get a real job. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that sucks. Okay. Yeah, maybe go on the radio. How awful.

So there's a certain level of truth to it, but I suppose those with diplomatic immunity are responsible, upstanding citizens. It's part of a job description, yep. Yeah. Well, there we go. Hey, thank you for doing that. What do you do for a job?

I'm an IT geek. All right. Official title? Yep. It is, actually.