Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL SHOW:  Can We Speak In Unison?

Episode Date: April 27, 2025

ON THE SHOW TODAY: Ben is so stressed he only just finished his year book... Jono saved some nurses from a venomous spider! Why not thanking AI is saving the environment Why Ben ran four blocks holding four smoothies! Why a couple ruined Megan's love letter Ben's apology to Wellington Does Jono deserve payment for this? Facebook: The Hits Breakfast with Jono, Ben & Megan Instagram: THEHITSBREAKFAST  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Jono, Ben and Megan podcast, thanks to Dilma. Goodness really does taste great. Dilma, making the world a better team. Welcome, welcome. First podcast back for a little bit. First one back from a couple of days off. I listened to a couple of podcasts over the holidays. That's just it.

Yeah. What did I listen to? I listened to a really interesting one with Taika. And I don't know how I stumbled across it, but he had a really interesting upbringing. His dad started this gang in Wellington. And then he was saying a lot of boy, the movie, was based on his childhood. So his dad actually got out of prison.

Because you remember in the film they buried the cash and they couldn't find it? Oh, that's right. His dad did that. Oh, wow. And he couldn't find the money. Oh, my gosh. And he said he was a really unique, creative character. And he built, because obviously from a Maori background,

you have the tangi. And he's like, I don't want a tangi. I don't want to be buried on the hill next to the ancestors. He's like, well, you kind of got to. It's like hundreds of years of tradition. And he's like, and he built himself like a tomb. Like a, is it a sarcophagus? Like an Egyptian.

He built his own one. And he said, Taika said, oh yeah, after he passed, we had to kind of put him in there. And Taika said, after he passed, we had to kind of put him in there. And he was like, it was kind of just not big enough. So they just saw the end off the coffin. And then he wanted his motorbikes in there as well. So they had to take the Harley Davidson apart

and then put it back together in the... Oh my goodness. He's like, why didn't he just leave this bike to me? That was an interesting podcast. Can you not just take the bike? You wouldn't know. I know,

but you'd be calmer. It is one of those things, you're right, you're like, I could, but. This is wasteful. It is,

yeah, I know, but then you'd ride it every time and you'd feel guilty. He wanted to, he wanted to be buried with it. Because technically you're like, well,

it's littering. You're not going to use it again. Whatever makes you sleep at night, Megan. Don't ask me to bury you with anything because I'm taking it. We're going to start things off on the podcast today with the Aussie twins, the identical

twins that talked in unison that made news. We gave it a crack with pretty mixed results this morning. Have a listen. John O'Bannon Megan. The podcast. The hits. We saw this going around on social media. Two identical twins from Australia.

They live on the Sunshine Coast. They look the same and they even sound like they talk at the same time. They finish each other's, well, they're not just finishing their sentences. They talk in unison. They're in full copy and paste mode the whole time. So they're giving an eyewitness account of a crime that took place outside their sentences. They talk in unison. They're in full copy and paste mode the whole time. So they're giving an eyewitness account of a crime that took place outside their property. And one guy, he was up there with our mum,

and he went up there, and he was coming back down towards us, and he goes, run, he's got a gun. She goes, are you all right? Because he had all blood all over his face. And he goes, I'll shoot you. amazing grim very grim story when you think about it

it's the carjacking it's the first time I've realised what they were actually talking about it's the violent carjacking oh right run

he's got a gun but Jesus brought us a lot of joy that carjacking so we'd like to thank the carjacker for the amount of joy it has brought the world It's gone international

Well yeah Their eyewitness account has gone international The fact that they look similar And they talk in unison Yeah It's incredible to watch It is yeah And you can't tell

But they're switching in and out as well So one's talking and then one will take over And then they're talking at the same time Maybe a lot of boomer relationships need to do this because they kind of finish each other's stories anyway. Yeah, just tighten it up a bit. Yeah. Go over the top of each other. It is really adorable, but I imagine living with it, that style of comms would start to eat away at you slowly.

You know that you can stop while she talks, eh? You don't have to join in. Yeah. She's got it. I was reading something about them and they said they don't even realise they're doing it. They just kind of just do it. They dress the same. Yeah.

Well, I guess they realise they dress the same but they don't realise that. They were like on the thing but looking back at it they're like, I don't even remember talking at the same time as my sister.

Oh, really? Are you a twin and do you do this? Are you finishing sentences? Are you talking at the same time? Text 4487. We'll do a little experiment with you. Maybe you've got other twin superpowers.

Yeah. Yeah. But we're going to give this a go ourselves, see how easy it is. So, Megan, you're going to make a call to Aaron, who does early morning IT here at work. He's used to getting calls from me early morning. So you have the conversation with him, and we'll try our best to join in with you. Okay. Given it's our first day back, pretend you can't log into your computer.

Okay. That can be the topic. All right. Good luck. you okay given it's our first day back pretend you can't log into your computer okay that can be the topic all right good luck hello aaron speaking hi aaron hello how are you doing yes how are you guys good um i so i've just come back from holiday and I am logged out of my computer. So I just need to reset my password or something. So you've been here all of two and a half hours and just noticed? Well, yeah, no, it's just we've been really busy with the show, so I just haven't got around to it.

This sounds hilarious because there is a mess of voices in my ear right now. What do you mean? That sounds like more than one of you are asking the exact same question at the same time. Well, no, it's me that's logged out. Do you have time to pop down and maybe log me in? Do I need to reset my passwords? I can do that. That's no problem.

Thank you so much. No worries, choir of John, Ozzie and Megan. We're trying to be like those Australian twins. I don't know if you saw them on the news that talked in unison. They did it quite well. It's a lot harder. Oh, my God. It's hard to think about what I'm trying to say.

You guys didn't quite nail it. Megan talks quite fast, too. I was like, geez, you're really trying hard to keep up. You're right. We had to zero in on Megan's lips there. Oh, and I had to keep trying to think what I'm talking about as they're talking over me. You know, the worst thing, Erin, she can log into her account.

It wasn't even a legitimate request. What a waste of time. You're right. I've been here two hours. What have I not been sorting it out for now? Don't waste't install that. All right, mate. Thank you.

Thanks, Aaron. Thanks, Aaron. See you guys. Wow. I feel like I was at a concert where you only know the chorus of the artist. You want to sing along

to the whole thing. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. Swimming away for a wee bit as like a lot of the country taking those couple of days in between. A dream run for a lot bit. As like a lot of the country, taking those couple of days in between, a dream run for a lot of New Zealand.

I don't think productivity was great around the country for the last couple of weeks. If you took Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, then you had that Friday all the way through, didn't you? Get a good bloody, how many days? Oh, 10 days. 10 days.

Which are pretty awesome for a lot of people. It was great not having the 4am alarm on Don't you feel like a normal person? I know, I'm so much more pleasant When you come back, Cindy, how do you sound sick? I do sound sick, actually I was sick of that as well I was thinking I also feel the collective relief of New Zealand

Going back after school holidays Because I've been with my children for such a long time And I'm like Come back feeling sick I'm tired, let's go back to work Why are you tired? You've been not my children for such a long time and I'm like, oh, come back feeling sick. I'm tired. Let's go back to work. Why are you tired? You're not getting up as early.

Are you joking? I'm still getting up early. I'm like, go back to sleep. I'm trying to sleep in. Yeah. She always comes back from holidays sounding worse than when she left. I know because I hang out with my kids more. That's the problem there.

Sneeze on me. You're getting up at four, you know, like we do. And I had to do it once During the holidays Because we flew down to Wellington And you know And oh the family They moaned like anything

Oh I feel like Four o'clock start Oh it's a But this is what I feel like All the time This is it You know like Oh it's like jet lag

It's like this This is my everyday Yeah so I was like This is me Every day of the week No wonder I'm going to Sleep on the couch If we watch a movie. I imagine you've got a lot of stuff done, Ben.

A lot off your to-do list. A lot of activities. How many activities do you reckon you've crammed in for? Probably not as much because one of my daughters was rehearsing pretty much every day for a musical theatre show. So she was out of the activity roster. But a few done. That's why she does these musicals. Yeah, to get away from activities for me.

What was your number one big banger activity? I got my photo book done. That was good. I make a yearly photo book. He's so organized he's got his photo book done in April for the year. No, that was last year's one. I was really hanging over my head, to be honest. So I got that one sorted as well. So the admin's out of the way. I was that was last year's one. I was really hanging over my head, to be honest, so I got that one sorted as well.

So the admin's out of the way. I was like, Jesus, April. I thought he's already wrapped up 2025. No, no, no, that can wait till the end of this year. Jono, Ben and Megan, the podcast. That. That was a venomous sea snake found in North Auckland Beach over the weekend. It is no longer with us, right?

RIP, see. Yeah. I love how much you're telling me we're given this bloody one snake that snuck into our shores. It's like when COVID goes, the first case you're like, oh my goodness. I was confused though because it says it's a native snake, but apparently we do have

two types of sea snakes that are native to New Zealand because they come here naturally. So they consider them native. Is it from like Australia? They send our criminals back and see snakes our way, right? It's quite beautiful though. It's brown on top and then all underneath is like bright yellow. But then I was bitten by a dog and smashed on the head with a plank of wood.

We were like, oh, if you saw a snake, wouldn't you report it? But it's illegal to kill these snakes because they're native. So they obviously gave it a whack and then we're like, oh. Tell that to the person with the plank of water. Got it where it was coming at you, or, you know, your dog or something, if it's self, I don't know, anyway. Self-defense.

Self-defense. What a demoralizing way for the snake to go. Oh, God, I've been bitten and then whacked over the head. Old St. Patrick, he just nicely, gently chased them all out of Ireland. That's right, yeah. Well, speaking of all things frightening in the world of insects and animals,

a huge spider incident that took place last Thursday. Went to the doctor's clinic to get my flu jab. Okay? Flu jab's available now. You can cough directly into my mouth and all will be fine, Megan. I know you sound sick at the moment. It doesn't worry me. It doesn't worry you.

You're protected. So I walk through the park in the car park and I walk through the door to the stairs and then there's two people from the clinic downstairs and they say, first thing, don't even say hello they said, are you good with spiders? first question and I said

yeah, I'm not bad with spiders but I learned a very valuable lesson that day is before you answer that question try and get a gauge on what spider they're referencing. Right. Because they're like, oh, great, take a look at that one behind you. And on the wall behind me, it was the biggest spider I think I've ever seen on New Zealand shores.

This would make news headlines. It was enormous. And then I look back to them, and they're giving me a look of like, well, you've just told us you're pretty good with spiders. Can you remove it? And I'm thinking, oh, God, I've just lied to them and said I'm good with spiders. I'm not good with spiders. Are we talking like huntsman size?

It was big. Yeah, I think there's some quite big ones around you. Yeah, I'd say about that big, which is great for radio right now. I'd say almost volleyball in size. Yeah, it was big and then so i'm like okay well suck it up and i find there was an old piece of laminated card that you know from covid days which had wear your mask keep a five meter distance i was like we'll use this so i got the thing on the on the cart oh did you and they were you know they they're like deceptive

because they look big and they look like they'd be slow. They move so fast. Oh, he was a mover and a shaker. He was a mover and a shaker. I tell you. And the two people, they're like, go put it in the garden. Put it in the bush. So then I'm going through the car park.

Is it sitting nicely on your cardboard? No, it's moving. Like I'm holding the card with my thumb and my forefinger upside down. And the spider's like, what? I was on a nice wall. Now I'm mobile. It's crawling up and down it gets to the point

so the ladies are still in the steel well it gets to the point where it goes on my hand it's on my hand and I'm making you know when you're frightened you're like

you're just making like unhuman like noises and then I get to the bush and they're like put it in the bush they're yelling and I'm not trying to freak out

and at this point it's halfway up my forearms no, Jono I am dying and then I get to the bush and they're like put it in the bush they're yelling and i'm not trying to freak out and at this point it's halfway up my four hours i am dying and then i get to the bush and i'm just like shaking it eventually it gets off on to a leaf and i go oh thank god no one saw that turn around there's a courier in his van laughing his ass off then i get back and i compose myself i said thank you so much i I said, no worries. No worries. Give us spiders. The courier's laughing, but put the spider in the house and see how he reacts. You know what I got in return? Free flu jab.

I tell you what, we'll give you a free flu jab for that spider removal service. There we go. You need some extra jabs for the spider bite. If it goes really bad, well at least I'm in the good location. Yeah, it's true. Okay, 0800 the hits. We're going to shut this open.

What is the worst thing you've had on you? Whether it be spiders, snakes, whatever. Was it on your Instagram I saw? Like, didn't you have a weta or something? Oh, that was the following day. The weta was nothing compared to the... It was you. Jono, Ben and Megan.

The podcast. The hits. Want to know the worst thing you've had on yourself? Yeah, I had a whacking great spider at the medical centre that I was kindly asked to remove. And I kind of put myself in a position where I was like, I couldn't say no to not doing a spider removal. But it looked like the type of spider that would be taxidermied

and pinned to a board at the museum. We're showing Jono pictures. We think it might have been a huntsman. Yeah, it was a bit like David Attenborough would have done a doco on this thing. Swear to God. So anyway, I ended up crawling up my forearm. I panicked.

And a courier, a courier driver saw it in his yellow courier van. You do the frantic arm flicky shake. And the noises that come out of you in those moments too. So yeah, the worst thing you've had on you. You were sharing a great story, a piece of New Zealand

history on you. I got gunged and what now? Like in studio under the gunge machine and I was like, this is the highlight of my life.

This is like, you know, because people want to go on the red chair and grab naught. This is like our equivalent, right? New Zealand getting gunged

and what now? The green slimy stuff. Yeah, it actually smelled really nice. I think it was maybe like shampoo or something. It smelled really lovely. How did you end up in the position where you were getting gunged?

Were you a kid on the show? No, I was an adult on a previous radio show. And we were just like... A better one or a worse one? Compared to the current one you're on. It depends who you ask. Okay, alright. So open to interpretation.

And so was it cold? Yeah, it was really cold, but smelled good and was very slimy as it seems. And stainy? No. Did you have to bring out like a gunge pair of clothes? Yeah, black clothes. Right, okay. But they changed the colour.

You don't want to go in there with a white t-shirt. Oh yeah, true. Not good for the kids. They always changed the colour of the gunja and I was like really stoked that mine was green. I was like, it felt like

real nostalgia. That's great. Because you never see the aftermath of a gunja. What's happening afterwards? Does the crew come into the shower and hose you off?

Yeah, they give you a towel and then they usher you off to the showers. Hey, wow. There we go. That's pretty cool. Under the Hits 4487, can you compete with that?

Catherine, good morning. Worst thing you've had on you. Good morning. Good morning. Worst thing you've had on you, mate. What was it? So, you know how you wake up in the morning and you kind of readjust yourself and get all comfortable on your pillow? I hadn't realised that my cat the night before

had done a big poop on my pillow, so I readjusted myself and stuck my whole face in it, and I basically had it all through my face and hair. Oh, my God. Oh, first thing in the morning, too. Yeah, and then for years after that, my sisters would stick fake poop on my pillow. The trauma of it too, continuing

on. Well, you don't get any worse start to the day than that, do you? I don't think a dog would do that. That's just real cat behaviour. Oh, I know. And it was like, it was quite a running one too. So it wasn't... Oh, that is a

confronting way to wake up. Oh, Catherine, thanks so much for your call. Jono, Ben and Megan, the podcast, the hits. If you're not joining us, well, then you won't know that I've just thanked you for joining us. But, Megan, you were saying Lola Young, who's sort of fresh to the scene, vomiting on stage. She performed at Coachella.

Yeah, she's kind of new, like hasn't done a big festival like that before and needed a bucket off to the side of the stage. She performed at Coachella. Yeah, she's kind of new, like hasn't done a big festival like that before and needed a bucket off to the side of the stage. She put a video up saying it was because she was overwhelmed and it was hot and nervous. That's embarrassing doing that in front of everyone. Coachella looked wild, didn't it? It did, yeah.

That's kind of cool how they do it over two weekends now, right? Yeah, it's good. I'd love to go. Now, Megan, we must apologise to you. About two months ago, we started giving you grief about your abrupt rudeness towards AI and ChatGPT in particular. No, you weren't using any manners. Now, Ben and I

were like, please, can you look for this for me, or thank you so much when you do this, because we live in constant fear that one day the robot's going to take over, and they'll have a hit list of people who didn't use their manners. Well, I just like it's a robot it is the only person in my life that i can just be like do this you know like you don't need the pleasantries you don't need the treating it like bloody old miranda priestly was treating anne hathaway the devil wears prada yeah

but now there's there's news coming out to saying that you are totally in the right. I am saving the world. Yeah, have a listen to this. Saying please and thank you to ChatGPT isn't just a sweet gesture. It's also pretty expensive. OpenAI CEO Sam Altman has revealed that these polite interactions are costing the company tens of millions of dollars in electricity bills. Every extra word or phrase you type requires computational power.

And behind ChatGPT's seemingly simple replies are massive data centres consuming enormous amounts of energy. Adding polite phrases increases the number of tokens, which slightly raises the computational load and consequently the energy consumption. So Megan, saving the world tens of millions of dollars. Because you know how when you're like, can you please do this? Thank you so much.

And it replies, you're welcome. I'd love, I'm so happy to help. That takes extra from the computer. Just don't do it. But then I'm going to be first on the hit list, you know? Yeah, well that is the truth. That's why people do it, is on the hit list, you know? Yeah, well, that is the truth. That's why people do it, is the fear. That is from the news article as well,

that people do respond with thank you and pleases because they are worried that they'll take over the job. And also, I'm so impressed with this technology that I feel like the least I can do is say thank you. You like the personal conversation you have with it. I do. I just feel like a bit of a friend or a personal assistant. It does.

Like, just step back, go 10 years ago. There'll be this tool one day that you just go, boom, and it just does everything for you in a millisecond. But then you're just worrying, though, that it's taking a lot of jobs as well. And then a lot of people were saying if you take away the politeness to the AI, you forget to be polite in real life and we'll all just end up being like, can you go get me this? Do this, do that.

Like I know it's eventually going to take my job, but I can't stop using it. I want to stop using it. I know, every time it does something amazing, you're like, wow. Damn it, that is a hundred times good. I do wonder sometimes because you don't know the tone of it.

Like sometimes you'll put something in and go, what do you think? You know, like rewrite this slightly and then they'll go, great start. Very few, and you're like, are you taking the rewrite this slightly and then they'll go great start very few and you're like are you taking the piss out of me no

it's a robot Ben like yeah I've just changed a few things you're like well hey clearly mine wasn't good enough how much energy did that take chat GBD for your sarcasm

yeah alright just change it without telling me I did a great start Jono, Ben and Megan the podcast the hits when you when you shouldn't have helped out when you tried to help out with something I just changed it without telling me I did a great start. John O'Bannon Megan. The podcast. The hats.

When you shouldn't have helped out. When you tried to help out with something and you're like, in hindsight, I shouldn't have done that. Happened to me over the break. Went to Wellington for a couple of days. My dad lives on the Coverti Coast. We stayed a couple of days in town at a hotel in Wellington as well. How was Kev?

Kev's great. Classic boomer. You know, like got to watch the chase, got to look at his e-bike while I walked, you know, things like that. Oh, he's got an e-bike, has he? All the boomers have an e-bike. Wait, he was on his e-bike while you were walking beside him? Yeah, he was on his knees and all, you know, so that was fine.

That was fine. He was scooting off and back and forth and stuff. Loves a chat, Kev. He does love a chat. But we're in Wellington for a couple of days and, you know, travelling, you know, staying in a hotel, realised hotel realize you know i've got two daughters and a wife one bathroom and i get up early they're like they they send me off to do errands pointless errands just because they need to get ready and get sorted all right so during their prep time

they're like hey how about you go get us a drink or something get a couple of hot drinks or get us all because i imagine you otherwise you're lingering yeah i'm just a pain in the back come on guys come on guys so they're oh could we get there's a tank down the road can you get us all because I imagine you otherwise you're lingering yeah I'm just a pain in the back come on guys come on guys so they're oh yeah there's a tank down the road can you get us a couple of drinks I'm like okay all right I can do this do you know the game they're playing though but I'm like well at least I get out and about and go for a wander so I walked into Wellington by myself early in the morning bought a couple of tanks a couple of uh you know hot drinks for my wife and I and I had sort of four drinks on my way back and uh there was a runner that sort of stopped next to next to me because and I just heard had four drinks on my way back and there was a runner that sort of stopped next

to me and I just heard, he was just stopped and you know you see someone in your side vision and then I heard this little noise, something hit the ground and then he was adjusting his headphones and then he just ran off and I looked back and I was like uh-oh there's a credit card, head drops, it's a credit card and I'm like oh okay and i'm like hey mate you want your credit card but he's got his head he can't hear you i'm like oh so i'm like oh i've got four drinks credit card i'm looking about hey mate you're like i'm yelling out to him he can't hear me like oh what do i do here so i'm like i'm gonna have to pick up the car and start running but i've got four drinks that's quite hard to run and you're chasing a guy who's on his morning run he's on his run he's

pacing so i'm starting to run i'm yelling going, mate, you've got to go. I'm yelling out behind him. He's not hearing any of this. And I'm like, drinks are starting to spill. So I put the drinks down. Where do you put them down? On the street? I put them down.

I was trying to remember where I put them down. Hopefully they'll be there when I come back. Jeez, you really wanted this guy to get his credit card back. And then I'm like, next thing I'm running to this guy yelling. And we went four blocks. We were running. I'm swishing. I'm like, mate, I'm running into this guy yelling. And we went four blocks. We were running a car. I'm swishing.

I'm like, mate, just think. He's running a car. Was he grateful when you finally caught up with him? Yeah, he was very grateful. I was a little confused why I was so puffed and sneered. Jeez, you've got a rapid pace there. And other people looking at me as I'm yelling at this guy. Stop him. Stop that guy.

I was getting a card as well. And in the end, I'm like, I said to my mate afterwards, he said, you should have just cut up his card and he would have got a new one. Yeah. But I tracked him down. He got his card. And in hindsight, they had to walk back like four blocks to find the drinks. I know.

No one had had a wee sip or anything. No, but they were lukewarm sort of at best. And I'm like, in hindsight, maybe I shouldn't have helped out. Oh, that is brilliant. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. I just wanted to know, when you were greeted helping someone,

he went chasing after a runner who dropped their credit card. How many minutes do you reckon this took out of your day? Probably it was only 10 minutes extra out of my day. But then I had to go back and get the drinks that I had. He had his headphones. I get it. Were you wearing Crocs? No, I wasn't, but I wasn't dressed for running.

I definitely wasn't ready in running a tyre. You turned up as a very sweaty, puffy courier. Oh, your card's here. Like one of those, back in the Roman times, they had couriers who would run messages back and forth. It'd be like, what are those? Lots of great texts coming through this morning

on this one as well. Times you regretted helping out. It feels like a nice thing to do, right? Help people out, but. I'm trying to think what I would do in that scenario, whether I, I wouldn't chase after them, especially if I had four drinks in my hand. At least your credit card too.

I don't know why he had his credit card out and about on his run. Loose in his pockets too. Dangerous game there as well. You definitely give it a tap and go and just see what the situation is there. Yeah. See what access to funds you have. 0800 hits the telephone number.

Some great texts coming through, Megan. Someone said, I tried to help out a friend at work by covering for them. They said, just tell them I'm running late. But then they posted selfies and the boss found out they were lying. So they were like, should never have helped in the first place. Then you lose the trust of your boss. Great one here. I saw a lady drop some cash.

As a gentleman, I called up to her and I said, excuse me, as I reach out with the money, she half turns and says, I am not interested. She said, it's a sad day.

I hope it was a lot of cash. Yeah. That's the thing. Maybe she was offended because it was a tenner or something. He's like, not everything is about sex. Sometimes you just want to hand your money back. Hey, he got free money out of it. I mentioned a few weeks ago too when I was driving to our old work

and the scratchy lady ran out into the middle of the road and she said, I need to get to court. Oh yeah, see, that's a great example of instantly regretted helping out. So I was like I'll take you to your court appearance mate and then next thing you know we're at the bloody Wendy's drive-thru. She was hungry for a Baconator. I had to buy her a Baconator too.

Buy her a Baconator and then she kind of said oh thank you and kind of got out there. I was like yeah, what about court? It was a court, like an elaborate back story too. She got her Baconator. She got her Baconator. She got her Baconator. You're the sucker. It's less appealing

to pick someone up and be like, I need a Baconator, take me now, as opposed to take me to court. So it was a great backstory.

John O'Bannon Megan. The podcast. The hits. Travelled around the country, we went down to Nelson for a bit

of the school holidays, a bit of our holiday. You said your daughter wasn't a fan of Nelson. For some reason she just was not keen, she just kept being like, a bit of our holiday. You said your daughter wasn't a fan of Nelson. For some reason, she just was not keen.

She just kept being like, I want to go home. I was like, well, we're here now. We're here for almost a week. Yeah, I know. Sometimes when you're thrown out of your day-to-day, I can see why she'd be like that. Then my son was like, I don't want to go home. I was like, I don't know what's worse.

Definitely leave you here if you want to. But we went to the beach. The weather wasn't great. Did you stay with Ray Ray, your mum? Yeah. She's very famous. Last time we spoke to Ray Ray, she was shutting down her road with her own road cones. I tell you what, I got a lot of road updates.

Yeah, did you get to the bottom of what was going on? Why she was shutting down the road? She just wants to stop the trucks. There's lots of trucks because there's construction going on. so she's trying to stop the road being damaged by the trucks so she can't no one's really told ray ray that she can't do this no so she's just taken the law into her own hands traffic management yeah pretty much was she doing traffic management while you guys were there no they have had cones like proper like um permanent cones installed in part of the, I know, I feel like they rung the council and were like,

they're damaging the road. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was a lot. Get results. The boomers get results. Every day there was a truck coming up and they're like, they're going too fast. Okay.

But the weather wasn't great. It wasn't great around the whole country, but we did manage to get to the beach. We went for a little beach walk with the family. And you're going to cringe, but we were all drawing in the sand we're drawing writing our names and stuff so i did the the cute um i wrote mommy loves daddy in the sand with the kids and we were writing our names and there was a couple coming towards us and they smiled we're like hi how's it going you know all friendly we friendly. We're on holiday. And we were like, okay, well, we better leave.

So we walk up through the sand dunes. I turn around and the couple were like scribbling out my love message to my husband. Hello. That is disgusting. Sickening. No one loves anyone that much.

They were scuffing it out with their feet. What did they say? They did that so much. I was like scuffing it out with their feet. What did they say? They did so much. I was like, is that John Orm? Must be from Auckland. I reckon you got there one day. Bring your love down here.

So what they made us, I have to make it almost a point of doing it, right? They could have just walked past and gone, oh, yeah. And they smiled at us as they came towards us, almost like, yeah, move on. It wasn't like a controversial view or anything. It wasn't like a controversial view, I think. It wasn't like Trump 2028 or something. Kanye's putting some controversial symbols on things at the moment. Exactly. Just a love heart with mummy loves daddy.

The world needs more love. No love down here in Nelson. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. Guns, Megan. On What Now? A few years ago now, I was in the studio and I got to go on the gunge machine.

Every child's dream, wasn't it, when you were growing up in the 90s? Like, gunge me, spray all that, whatever that is on me. Take it all. Probably up there with career highlights, I reckon. Back in the 90s, it would have been fully toxic, wouldn't it? Asbestos. Yeah, but now, you know, right. I remember it smelling so good, but being so cold.

Or put it on social media. We just all watch the footage. We'll chuck it up on the Hits Breakfast on social media if you want to see Megan get gunged. In 1994, I think it was just the runoff from a nuclear waste plant. Probably was, right? Yeah. Now, I've got an apology to make to Wellington.

Now, over the break, I went down, saw my dad in the Kapiti Coast. And as I mentioned before, we stayed a couple of nights in Wellington with the family, which is cool. Wellington was, you know, this was the good day they talk about. You know, the rest of the coast and as i mentioned before we stayed a couple of nights in wellington with the family which is cool wellington was you know this was the good day they talk about you know wherever the rest of the country was having cyclones all that wellington was just beautiful it was perfect can't beat it yeah can't beat it now um but i'd like to tell the story saying that i get where i'm coming from it's probably like glass houses one of those situations because i did take an inflatable bathtub costume with me down to Wellington. I was on the beach, you know, doing this at one stage.

So I did take that down on the holiday to embarrass my kids on the beach in an inflatable bathtub costume, which I learned when you travel on a plane, you can't take the battery. The batteries can't be loose in your bag. Inflate with batteries? Has it got one of those pumps? Did you have to get pulled aside? Yeah, what is this?

And to get, they pull out your bath. And I was like, oh, it's an inflatable bathtub costume. So when you walk past people, they hear a little motor too. Yeah, yeah, a little motor. Oh, awesome. As you're doing it, to keep it inflated. But anyway, so this is me. You'd be less embarrassed about carrying drugs through, wouldn't you?

So I'm saying, oh, I had this with me, and I wore this in Wellington. But as we got to Wellington, we were talking about Wellington, because i was from mastered and so i spent a bit of time in wellington wellington was the big city i looked up to but i said to the kids it's quite it's quite alternative you know you'll see a lot of alternative people around trendy people looking down their nose at you cuba street's all a bit alternative but out there but lifted that's what i love about wellington and as we walked around by the hotel, you know, there's people in robes and capes and sort of,

you know, like things like this. And kids are like, what's with those clothing? I'm like, it's Wellington. They're all a bit alternative in Wellington.

It's all good. Just normal kids. Just plain cool. Plain cool. And then we walked around a bit more and there's people like wearing lycra

and stuff. I was like, oh, Wellington's really getting quite alternative these days. What kind? Like full body lycra?

Some lycra. But some lady had like armour with spikes or spikes on and stuff. She's a bureaucrat. She's off to work at the Beehive. And the kids were like, yeah, it's really alternative. Yeah, I told you. Wellington's very alternative as well. And then we were around another corner and there was people in like full face masks,

like scream masks and animal ears. And one was Pikachu. And I was like, hang on a second. This is a bit weird. This has gone past the point of alternative. bit weird i was like hey what's happening to is that you guys from wellington or what's that from wellington i'm like yeah we're going to alternative and they were like we're on our way to armageddon the pop culture expo was just around the corner from the hotel but uh i see so well, not quite as alternative.

You know? Can you wait there? I'll just pop up to the room and grab my bathtub costume. Had I known, I'd come to Armageddon with you. They're like, hmm. Yeah, I don't know. It's a little alternative for us. You wouldn't even fit in there.

Yeah, so there you go. So I'd like to apologise to Wellington. I'm really worried about retirement, where I'm going to be one of those people Who's on their hands and knees Cutting the edges of the lawn with scissors or something You know Get to that point But it was Anzac Day on Friday

And I had a really sore neck Because I do weekly There's a bunch of dads from school who do kickboxing And I do this kickboxing weekly And Mike who takes is a lovely gentleman he's like let's do some neck grappling and I was like at no stage in my life am I gonna have to neck grapple it sounded like a neck massage so he was teaching me the art of neck grappling okay and I got home and I was like I reckon I'm gonna be paralyzed tomorrow I will not

be surprised if I wake up at 3 o'clock in the morning and can't feel anything below my chin. Like, it was that bad. So it was Anzac morning, and I was like, Jen, I've got to go to the mall, get a mall massage. I'm so sorry. I'm still stuck on the fact that you do kickboxing every week. What I do is I lie on the ground,

and I make noises like a car trying to start. I'm very bad at it. So I'm going out to the mall, okay, and I'd been there a couple of weeks before, and the lovely little fella, he's very dangerous. You put your face in that little hole, and he feels like his elbows are daggers. But it wasn't open.

It was 10.30 in the morning. Oh, yeah, nothing's open until after midday, right? One o'clock. I didn't know this. I did not know this. It's that bad, yeah. Yeah, and so I text Jen, and I was like, oh, there's a new massage place that's opened up

at the end of our, like literally at the end of our road. And it was kind of a house operation. And outside it says healthy therapeutic massage. And I was like, oh, that's flags open. I text you and I was like, okay, I'm going to go in here. And so I went in and it was, you know, I was knocked on the door. And then the lady, old lady sort of answered in her pajamas. I'm like, oh, that's a bit weird.

But, you know, I've caught you on Anzac Day public holiday whatever and she's like well come in and so on the table get massaged did she get dressed? I couldn't

no I had my face down so I couldn't really oh no she yeah yeah because by the time I saw her she was dressed yeah and at the end of it

I was like oh that was a bit weird she's like oh that'll be 90 bucks I was like oh that's pricey because I'm thinking usually I'm playing

35 to 6060 range, okay? And then I get home, I said, do you know, it's $90. I said, that's really overpriced.

Now, here's where my question comes in for you two, okay? So, I'm up at three o'clock this morning, just roaming the streets

doing exercise and stuff. And I notice that the healthy therapeutic massage clinic is open. And I'm thinking, it's three o'clock in the morning, I guess people have sore shoulders at any time in the morning. And I'm thinking, it's three o'clock in the morning. I guess people have sore shoulders at any time in the morning.

And I'm thinking, did I go too long? You glazed over what actually happened during the massage. Oh, just neck, shoulders, textbook stuff. Was it like good? No, she was good. Like it was good. And it wasn't a bed in there, but it was a massage. Oh, it was an actual massage?

Yeah. And then I'm thinking, am I owed money? Because I haven't made... Well, no, this is a service that you've asked for. But I haven't made full...

The $90 obviously might get you more than just a neck shoulder. It feels like that's on you. Was there any further questions asked during the massage? No, nothing. It was all...

She was probably like, geez, got off light on that one. Yeah, I was thinking that's was probably like, geez, got off light on that one. Yeah, I was thinking that's all, okay, so I go, happy Anzac Day. But I was thinking

your 10% Anzac charge was a little pricier. Yeah, so I was 15%. Yeah, public holiday surcharge. So I mean, maybe you're in the industry,

am I owed money? Am I owed some cash? I don't give anything to your own money. You asked for it. That's all on you. But that was the first guy I ever on you Are you sure she got dressed? Yeah Okay

It was an older experience Anyway Driving to work this morning I was like Man I could get my 30 bucks back What? John O'Ben and Megan The podcast

The Hats Some big news events That have happened in your life What have you done Over the last couple of weeks? I mean maybe You know Katie Perry's listening She's like

Oh I went to space Everyone mocked me She got mock oh, I went to space. She got mocked hard for going to space. And now people are mocking her for her new concert too. Yeah. She's just, yeah, I don't know what, she can't do anything right. She's turning into the Nickelback of pop music for some reason, the poor woman. Then I saw her crying

on stage and I couldn't figure out why she was crying. Because the world's mocking her for going to space. Oh, yeah. But if you've got the option to go to space or not, I'm pretty sure everyone mocking them would go to space. I think everyone was getting annoyed that they were calling them astronauts when they were in space for like 30 seconds.

And all I could imagine was that poor lady who was up there for like 12 months with her hair turning grey. But they didn't even go that far did they? They just went like up and had a look and came back down. We're not here to mock them for going to space. No. They went to space, and like Ben says, we'd all take the opportunity.

Exactly. Technical term astronaut is them. Someone who has gone to space. There you go. Can't argue. They can't argue with that. They haven't trained. They're civilians.

But yeah. So yeah, 4487 on the TX-0800, the hits. What has happened to you over the last two weeks? Now this story came through my algorithm. It's a depressing, dark place, my algorithm. Really, sometimes I'm like, okay, that's enough internet for today. We're going to have to shut it off. But this was a story about a date, Tinder date, that ended horribly.

Have a listen. I went back to my house to watch a documentary. She went to the toilet. Unfortunately, it wouldn't flush and she decided to throw it out the window. Have a listen. Unfortunately, her business got stuck in the air gap between the two windows. She was reaching into the window with a plastic bag over her hand to try and reach the poo out of the window. Now, she couldn't quite reach, obviously. It's quite a deep window. So she basically put her head and her shoulders in through into the window. She was then upside down in the window. She did manage to grab the poo in the plastic bag.

She passed out to me. I put it back in the toilet. That was all fine. Fortunately, at that moment, she asked me to help her get out and she was stuck she was stuck in the window oh my goodness while trying to retrieve

some faecal matter that she'd thrown in there now the fire service was called and it's made international news this is so unfortunate I mean unfortunate

for this lady that this happened but then to go to the level of like oh mate he's talking about it too I know because you'd be like well I don't ever have to see this guy again like don't never talk about, he's talking about it too. I know, because you'd be like, well I don't ever have to see this guy again.

Like, never talk about it. Yeah, he's doing the rounds on Breakfast TV. It's like, shut up mate. Well,

I tell you what though, if you knew that story, the first thing you'd want to do is go to the news with it. Yeah, for the trees. Put me on international CNN.

Yeah. Al Jazeera, I'll go on all of them. Oh yeah, you'd be like, please don't tell anyone about this. No I won't, he's on the news. Do we know on all of them. Oh, yeah. You'll be like, please don't tell anyone about this. No, I won't. The expertise on the news.

Do we know who she is, though? No, she's nameless. Thank God. The poor lady. I mean, she knows who she is. I know. I'm mortifying for her. So that's what she's achieved over the last couple of weeks.

Okay. Okay. I went over to this. What has happened to you over the last couple of weeks? And I have to share how a similar situation happened to me, as that same poor lady. Thankfully, I didn't make international news, though. Jono, Ben and Megan, the podcast, the hits. Just played this audio news story of a Tinder date

just gone terribly wrong at the end of the night. So we had a lovely meal out. We decided that we'd like to continue on back at my place. We got a bottle of wine and went back to my house to watch a documentary. She went to the toilet. Unfortunately, it wouldn't flush, and she decided to throw it out the window. Now, my house is watch a documentary. She went to the toilet, unfortunately it wouldn't flush and she decided to throw it out the window. Now my house is a bit quirky, the bathroom window doesn't actually open out to the outside garden, it opens out into a little air gap

and there's a double glazed window between that and the outside garden. So unfortunately her business got stuck in the air gap between the two windows. So she did the natural thing, she tried to retrieve it, she doesn't want to leave it in between the... how big is the double glazing too? Yeah, true. And then she finds herself stuck in between the double glazing. Fire service are called. What would have, like if you were in that scenario,

what's the right thing to do? What would you have done? Sister, I have been in this scenario. And I've told this story multiple times. It doesn't get any less embarrassing. I was at my friend Kevin Kim's house. This is sort of an 11, 12-year-old, and we'd have a wonderful kimchi meal, and the kimchi didn't agree with me.

This was when you were young? Yeah, this was when I was young. Okay, so you're not hanging out with an 11-year-old now. You just made it sound like you're at Kevin Kim's house like the weekend. My little 11-year-old mate. I was just checking. My little 11-year-old mate. Nothing weird. Purely platonic relationship. Okay, Michael. 11 year old mate I was just checking my little 11 year old mate nothing weird

purely platonic relationship okay Michael so I went to the loo and again like this poor lady wasn't the flushing system

was out of whack it's a scary moment isn't it it is and you don't know what you'll do in that it's like a bank robbery you don't

it's a fright or flight you don't know how you're going to react so anyway I scooped it up and I threw it out the window and I left in a hurry. I was like, thank you, Kevin Kim. See you next week, my little mate. And I ran back home and I told Annie and my mum and she, gee, I tell you what, she went into like, you know how there's Hollywood fix it people when you like, people have been

caught with, you know, sex workers and cocaine and stuff. Annie went into this mode, clean-up mode. Boom, straight out of the shed. Grabbed the spade, but we're trapping back up, trapping up to Kevin Kim's house. She spades it on up, and we're out of there. Was it in their yard? Yeah, it was kind of on a path outside the window.

It had splattered. I remember checking the weather forecast going, will the rain wash this away? That's a good thought. That was option one, and that was quite smart. And no, it turned out it was a blazing hot day in the middle of February, so we had to go and retrieve it. Lisa didn't make international news.

Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. Good morning, and touring the country next month, Aussie comedian Chopper, he's always hilarious, and he joins us in the studio right now. Thanks so much for getting up early. No, that's all right.

I get up every morning and shout at the sun to make sure it gets up. It's great to have you back, back in New Zealand as well. I know Kiwis have probably missed seeing you on stage. It's great that they can see you up there again. But what's been going on? Because I understand there's a few things potentially that you think that we're doing that could be ruining humanity. Well, not specifically New Zealand. I want to get that

out of the way first. Because he wants to sell tickets when he's here on tour. That's right. If you want to name a specific city that I'm not going to, I will gladly rag on it for as long as you want. But at the moment, everyone on the line-up, bloody champs. Could put it for wrong.

No feedback. But at the moment, everyone on the lineup, bloody champs, couldn't put it wrong. No feedback. But no, yeah, no, I just say people in general, you know what I mean? We're kind of losing

our way a little bit. Everyone's getting a bit soft. You can just see it happening about five years from now, we'll have devolved to the point

where humans are just big pink slugs who lie around going, oh, it's not fair. Things are difficult. Yeah, I'm a little bit worried about things lie around going, oh, it's not fair. Things are difficult. Yeah, I'm a little bit worried

about things I understand, like paper straws, things like that, different types of milk. Okay, I'm not worried about paper straws because straws are for babies. And if an adult's like, oh, my straw's made of paper,

I'm like, why don't you just drink it from your city, you giant toddler? What are you whinging about? It seems like an unnecessary tool now. It's like a 40-year-old being like, oh, nappies are all uncomfortable these days.

What are you doing mucking around with that? It's a very fair point. I think Trump's brought it back, though, hasn't he? He's always brought back the plastic straws. That's because his mouth is always puckered to a kind of the south end of a northbound cat kind of vibe. What about like you're on TikTok? You're liking the TikTok dancers and stuff?

Oh, look, do you know what? Okay, I first got on TikTok and I gave it my age and my gender. I was like, I'm a man in his 40s. And they're like, cool, you will love cleavage and carpentry. That's what the algorithm served up and i should have marked around after looking at tick tock it is international waters some of the horrific people are like you can't say anything these days holy moly it's the best and the worst of humanity all with 60 seconds oh i thought this sort of stuff was outlawed in the 30s

you're saying that yeah this isper. I put stuff on there and they banned me from it. I'm like, this is against community guidelines. I'm like, you should have seen this stuff I just bought. Holy moly.

What about New Zealand audiences? Do you find that they laugh in the right spots compared to, you know, Australians and other audiences? Or, you know, are we different? Are you different over here?

No, just, I don't know. They're just good audiences. I've just come from Melbourne, which is kind of, I don't like the word woke, but, you don't know. They're just good audiences. I've just come from Melbourne, which is kind of, I don't like the word woke, but you know, we'll just skip all the nonsense. Chopper, you don't scream Melbourne. Well, that's the thing. You go to like, Melbourne used to be good. You used to muck around there.

You go to Melbourne, you're like, oh, I've got a knock-knock joke. Knock-knock. And they're like, don't make me feel unsafe in my own home. Oh my gosh. The most humorless people in the entire world. I wanted to know if you were thinking of getting any more tats. You've had the same tattoos for a while. Are you going to get like a neck tat or something?

Or laser treatment. What's the options? Either way, you go one way or the other. I mean, back when I got these, it was like everyone would look at me and be like, oh, that guy's a hard out thug. Now, you know, people see tattoos and they just order a coffee. It's really a lot of baristas. You're right.

That's what I need. I need a neck tattoo that says, not a barista. Stop asking. Leave me alone. Go see Chopper as, where can people get all the details? Of course, Chopper in New Zealand.

Yeah, I'm on Instagram, Heath Franklin's Chopper. I'm on TikTok as just Heath Franklin. When he's allowed to be. Yeah, when they're not banning me. And Facebook and stuff. And if you can't use the internet to find tickets, I don't want you at the show, to be honest.

That's probably true. It gets to the point, if you can't get tickets to the show, then, you know, it'll get to me being at your place, helping you get dressed. Come on, mate, wear your shoes. Get some pants on. It's just a point where you've just got to stop helping people. Oh, Chopper, it's always fun to hang out with you, mate.

Thank you very much for coming in. Hey, thanks for having me. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. Before he left. And now, for some reason, she's back. you mate thank you very much for coming in hey thanks for having me Jono, Ben and Megan the podcast the hits before he left and now for some reason

she's back I couldn't stay away guys we did goodbyes and everything emotional goodbyes and now you're back

it's really awkward now it's like when you walk the same way and you've already said bye quiz queen producer Ellie

she left officially and then she's come back we had a friend Andy who left when we were working

and we had a huge cake. Someone cried too. Someone cried. Yeah, someone cried. Not Ben, but someone did. No, but someone did.

It was tears. It was tears and then he came back a few weeks later. Literally four weeks later. Oh. And the guy's like, who cried,

he's like, I cried, mate. No, it's weird that you're back. Do you have those friends that like go, they're like, I'm moving to Australia and you do a big farewell and then they're there for

a month and they're like, that was too hard and they're back. We're looking at one right now. It's me! It's great you're here because you can host the New Zealand Hero Daily Quiz. I can, I can. And we'll blow the cobwebs out. Jesus, I haven't done this in 14 years. No, I did. I got the family up every morning at 6.20.

I was like, who was the ruler of the Ming Dynasty in the mid-1930s? Okay, right, here we go. All right, question number one. Which English king did Pocahontas meet during her visit to England? Oh, John. Well, whether it was John Smith or something was the relationship, wasn't it? Yeah, so the options here are King James I, King Charles I, or King Henry VIII?

Yeah. V plus three I's? Oh yeah, he's a well known one isn't he? Me the kidding now, did Pocahontas do this in real life? I guess? Yeah, because it's a document, not a docker.

Yeah, it's a recreation. A real character. Jeez, I don't know. We're going to use our lifelines straight away, shall we? What number King Charles is this that we've got now, if that was King Charles Yeah. Jeez, I don't know. We're going to use our lifeline straight away, shall we? Or not? What number King Charles is this that we've got now, if that was King Charles I? Oh, good question.

I'm not sure. You're chugging an additional question. We can't even get the first question right, and now you want another question. I thought you guys might know. He's the king now. This is not the time. This is not the time for banter, mate. We just need an answer.

I'm trying to figure it out. Trying to stall us. Okay. Okay, so the first text has come through saying James, King James I. All right, so we're using your lifeline. King Jimmy. I guess I've said it now, so let's do it. That is correct.

Thank goodness. Nice. That is a sloppy start from the crew. It was a tough one, though. It was. There's another royal one here. In what year did Prince Harry and Meghan Markle step back from royal duties? Was it 2020, 2018, or 2016?

Geez, I would go to 2020, wouldn't you? So it was, okay, so 2020 is obviously the pandemic. Were they, what was it? Had they already stepped down before the pandemic? I'm just trying to think. What are the options? 2020? 2020, 2018, or 2016? Don. What are the options? 2020? 2020, 2018 or 2016?

Don't say it was earlier than 2020. That's frightening if it was before 2020. Time is just... I think it was before. You reckon before? Because it was such a massive thing. And if the pandemic was going on, maybe it wouldn't have been. Because we would have had other stuff going on.

So you reckon 2018? Yeah. God, seven years ago that was. Really? Are we locking it in? wouldn't have been because we would have our other stuff going on so you reckon 2018 yeah god seven years ago that was really are we looking at 2020 is that your answer that's 2018 that is incorrect it is 2020 really yeah yeah maybe they're trying to sneak it through you know when there's a big world thing going on but obviously it didn't work right yeah no snuck out the back door, but not really. Jeez, the moment we all turned on Megan, wasn't it? How did we turn on her before?

It's King Charles III, guys. Oh, there we go. Thank you. We've learnt something.