Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL SHOW: Can you rub a pregnant ladies belly?
Episode Date: August 14, 2024ON THE SHOW TODAY: The ultimate hype man The bell is back! Jono's hit boomer mode Rubbing a pregnant ladies belly… That’s an unusual gift! What happened to the internet stars of the 2000s? Ben'...s daughter puts him in a weird situation! Facebook: The Hits Breakfast with Jono and Ben Instagram: THEHITSBREAKFASTSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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This John O'Bien podcast, hey that's us, brought to you by HelloFresh, the experts and tastes that Kiwis love.
Yellow Taxi and we're wondering about our big yellow torch.
The torch that we started over a week ago, we turned it on, a dolphin torch, and we wanted to know when the batteries would run out.
They're not new batteries by the way.
And they're still, well they were still going yesterday, around about this time.
Of course the closest person to guessing.
The time that the torch ends, we'll win $500.
You can do that at the Hits Breakfast on Facebook.
We've left it with the lovely security team here at work.
Yeah, think of all the stuff that's happened since last Wednesday.
So much at Ray Gunn, the breakdancer, the closing ceremony.
Just wild.
Cash rates been changed.
Cash rates, meth lollies, we've had it all.
And this, all the way through.
All Blacks lost.
The torch has just been shining consistently and not fading, not dipping at all.
Lighting up the hearts of New Zealanders, this torch.
Please, submit your entry as to when you think this thing might run out of bat
so you can head to the hits breakfast on Facebook
But we did leave it with security, but our usual security guard Gunjan. He's not on today
Oh is he not? No, no we've got someone else. Do you want to go into your, I've dialled my phone
Do you want to go out and do a live report there? Okay. There you go. Take that
Ben Boyce reporting live
Tell us what you're seeing paint some pictures with words there Ben, you know what you know your job Well, I can see you right now because I'm still in the same room. Is us what you're seeing. Paint some pictures with words there. Ben, you know your job.
Well, I can see you right now because I'm still in the same room.
Is that what you wanted?
Yeah, paint the pictures.
What do I look like?
Well, a little tired for this time of the morning.
A little tired?
Old, dusty, bit puffy?
Yeah.
Couldn't lose a few kgs?
You're up here.
You're early.
Okay, I'm walking in across to the reception area here.
Jimmy's always wearing shorts no matter what the weather is.
Yeah, we've got Jimmy who works in facilities.
Shorts and a T-shirt every day of the year.
Good morning.
Is that shorts still going?
It's still going.
Can I just have a quick look at it?
It's still going.
It's still going?
In the box.
Yeah, it's still going.
Still going.
Yeah, it's still going.
Wow-wee.
What does Jimmy have to say?
I see Jimmy there in his shorts.
Jimmy's about to lift 29 chairs.
What do you have to say, Jimmy?
Oh, boy.
Boy, that was that.
He's lifting in his shorts.
He's never wearing nothing but shorts.
Well, he's got more stuff on, but shorts no matter the weather,
and he's lifting, honestly, about 12 chairs by himself.
I'd love a guy around the office who just wears shorts and nothing else.
Who's that?
Just a guy who just wears shorts.
So there we go, the torch still shining.
So that means the $500, the cash prize still up for grabs.
And you can enter, as we said, the Hits Breakfast on Facebook.
I genuinely have concerns that this thing is going to outlive us.
I know.
It's still going.
It's still pretty impressive.
Yeah, so just, it was, you know, nothing to do with the Olympics.
Imagine if our phone batteries had the determination of this battery.
They'd never run out.
Speaking of determination, your wife, Amanda.
Oh, yeah, I went and watched my daughter do cross country the other day.
And, you know, she was actually, she had
trained for it, she was really into it
she wanted to do really well
and she did a great job but what really
impressed me as well was my wife's a teacher
and what I got to see, I stood next
to her and the first time I'd witnessed her in a
cross country environment and she
very supportive, like if the Olympic
team needs some help next Olympics,
I mean, get Amanda over there.
Have a listen to this.
This is just a quick bit.
Let's go, girls.
Come on.
You're on.
You just started.
Pick up those legs.
Here we go.
Let's go, Harry.
Nice work.
Was Harry picking up his legs?
He was picking up the legs.
And this was, like, the whole time.
I was on there for maybe 20 minutes.
She was just, just, honestly, the ultimate hype person.
I mean, we've talked about Flavor Flav.
We've talked about other people as hype people.
But my wife was, jeez.
She's good.
She's got a wolf whistle on her too.
When she wolf whistles, wolves in Siberia come running.
It's that loud.
She's like, she's got the mouth of a scaffold of four stories up.
Didn't she, your wife?
So, yeah, very great hype person.
The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.
So if I'm with your kids,
it feels like kids ask you questions throughout your thing.
They'll come back with sayings and things and bits and pieces,
no matter what it is.
But sometimes you're in the mood for what they have to say.
Other times you're just in the middle of getting stuff done.
And you want a straight answer?
Oh no, I just want to.
You know me when I get into... Into your zone. I i've got things to do and then when people question those things
you get a lot of questions in your job and lots of things and then suddenly you get questions from
the kids he's easily flustered i don't need this right now i have one of those any one of the
final one of the greatest joys in life is watching ben boyce and a cleaning frenzy now he doesn't do
it regularly but every like sort of three times a year,
you won't know when it's going to come,
but it'll just come.
And when he's at work here in the studio,
boom, everything's going.
Everything's going out.
He's trying to pull the microphones out.
He's chucking out the posters, displays, boxes.
You're like, it's all going to be clean.
But it's not regular.
Yeah.
Yesterday afternoon, I had stuff to do, things to do, and I was trying to get through a whole lot of them, but it's not regular. Yeah. Yesterday afternoon, I had stuff to do, you know, things to do,
and I was trying to get through a whole lot of them as I do,
and was on a bit of a, I guess, a rampage of getting stuff done.
Because you've got a to-do list every day.
And I was starting to run out of time,
and I was going to pick my daughter up from netball after her netball practice,
and I picked her up, done that, ticked that off the to-do list,
and then on our way home, we had to swing past another friend.
Late in the day, they said,
hey, can we borrow some costumes for tomorrow?
And you're the costume guy?
I was like, I better go to the garage,
put that on my to-do list.
Swing past their place on the way home.
And so I made my daughter,
I said, I'll just pull in the driveway.
Didn't have time to go in
because, you know,
it's like, can you go in,
just drop it on the doorstep.
I'll text them when I get home
saying it's there.
Just do it.
I'm even watching him now.
He's just like, veins are popping.
He's like, get his stuff done.
I was just like, it's up to do, I had to go home, cook dinner,
all that sort of stuff.
What happens if you get to the end of a day and not all of the tasks
on your two-minute list have been completed?
Your parents will know, I had to go home, cook dinner, feed animals,
walk, you know, all these things were bounding up.
And I pulled in the driveway.
I was like, Sienna could just run this into the doorstep.
She comes back with, why do they want to borrow the costumes?
I don't know.
I hadn't even asked that question.
I don't know.
And I'm like, I don't know.
I just don't.
And I sort of came back with her.
I don't know.
They just do.
They don't know.
You snapped back.
And she was like, well, hang on.
And she stopped.
She's like, I need to ask questions.
I'm going to ask questions.
What if you were asking me,
and this is where she jumped from zero to 100,
what if you were asking me to put drugs on their doorstep?
Is what she came back with.
I'd be asking some questions then.
And I'm like, yes.
What if you were asking me to drop a bag of lollies
to the Auckland City Mission?
Yeah, well, and that's where I was like,
oh, God, you know, you've really,
like, from a Mike Wazowski costume.
To drug trafficking.
I'm like, really?
You can see your dad's a little stressed right now.
And that's because he's got a lot of gear on board, okay?
We need to get it out of the car as soon as possible.
Yeah, so anyway.
If the cops put us over right now, we're done for.
The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.
Mr. Taylor, you've got a brand new podcast.
It's out today, another episode, The Montoyas.
Yep, three drops today.
Yep, it's good.
I've listened to a couple of episodes.
It's very entertaining.
Here's a little snippet from today's episode.
This is how everything goes with us.
As I'm getting ready, you're
sitting in the room, I'm in the shower
and you're screaming in the background,
Mars, Mars, I have nothing to wear.
I'm sick of hearing the same thing
every time. I took you shopping on the weekend.
I'm sick of seeing you walking around
and not respecting yourself.
So we took you out. It's true.
Respecting myself?
What is that supposed to mean
I don't have respect
For myself
Dress
Respectable love
You try
And look good
Carrying twins
You look gorgeous
Please
Is that for the podcast
Or just
Illicit recordings
Of your relationship
I was just out from there
So pretty carefully
Basically that's what the podcast is
Illicit recordings
Of the relationship
But that's Marcello
And Taylor's podcast
I have an issue
With the podcast though Oh god what Okay now their relationship. That's Marcello and Taylor's podcast. I have an issue with the podcast though.
Oh God, what?
Okay, now the poster.
You've got a poster.
It's you and you're like in a wedding dress and Marcello's the thing.
Now on the poster, there's a star rating.
Oh my God.
Four and a half stars.
Yeah.
Now I'm like, this poster was out before the podcast was out.
Who's given that?
Now here's my issue.
Yeah.
If you have the option to give yourself a star rating
Which clearly you have
Why haven't you gone full five?
Why haven't you gone four and a half?
Mate, we had no say on the star rating
Who did the star rating?
iHeartRadio
Because I said the same thing
I was like, how dare you?
Who's this person?
Let me meet them
And they're like, oh, you know, it's like humble
I don't want to be humble
Go five
Go five, I agree
Watch the podcast, yeah
If you had the option to
Okay, let's give this show a star rating.
If we have the option,
you're going to go five every time.
Even though it's not true,
you're going to give five.
But then knowing us,
we probably, you know.
Two and a half.
Well, let's give us three.
A one star review.
But yeah,
iHeartRadio gets them on toys.
But yeah,
we're very happy for you.
We're so stoked that you have twins on the way.
Yep.
Thank you. Very excited. How have you found the journey so far oh hard yeah doubly hard i imagine
so hard yeah they reckon it's because it's double hormones so it literally is just crazy i'm trying
to look for a nicer word than what my head's saying getting up in the morning early yeah
it's all the stuff going on, it's pretty taxing.
My insomnia was wild the first three months for some reason.
That was one of the pregnancy side effects my body chose to give me
and that was just not fun.
Yeah, some people are like, oh, I just love being pregnant.
You one of those?
No.
Look at me, I'm so ugly.
No, you're not.
I used to be nice.
Well, if you're dressed respectively.
Yeah, exactly.
Back to Marcelo's point.
There are some people.
I remember when Jen was pregnant.
There are some people who are, like, really into pregnant ladies, eh?
Yeah.
It's an OnlyFans category.
I'm going to pitch it to Marcelo next week on the podcast.
Get some cash while you're on maternity, mate.
I know.
But there's something that people are doing to you regularly,
which I find very amusing. I'm sure, Jono. I know. But there's something that people are doing to you regularly which I find very amusing.
I'm sure, Jono.
Back in the...
I've never done this.
You would have, man.
Ten years ago, you would have.
You scream as a person
that would do it.
Yeah, just like bending down
and basically holding
onto the belly.
Yeah, yeah.
Touching the belly.
Actually, surprised
you haven't done it to me.
You would have definitely
touched the belly.
I won't lie,
it's very tempting.
It just looks like something you want to get your hands
on and rub. I've rubbed a lot of things
in my life. Shoulders
with bad people. Let's make
my stomach not one of those.
But people have been rubbing your stomach. Inundated.
I had a heads on the weekend. I'm a maid
of honour in a wedding. And mate,
every time someone walked into the hotel,
oh my god, and they'd put their hand on my stomach
and then whilst their hand's on my skin they go,
you don't mind this, do you?
Well, it's a bit late now.
So sometimes strangers like work with colleagues in the workplace
are coming up and giving them a rub.
For sure, for sure.
And I guess it's because they're mothers so they're kind of like,
oh, well, people did it to me.
But yeah, God. maybe if you rub it
a genie will come out
something will come out
maybe the genie
I don't think they can feel you either
so I don't know what you want me to do
like should I burp
just to give you a reaction
I don't know what to do
it's all your thing isn't it
you could say
if you keep rubbing it
it's yours
finders keepers Finders keepers.
Finders keepers.
So 800 of the hits.
This is what we want to open up.
Belly rubbers anonymous.
Well, it won't be anonymous because you'll say your name.
Have you had your belly rubbed while being pregnant?
Do you say something or are you just like?
I'm like, oh, no, it's okay.
Yeah, I get scared to be like, oh, no, put your hands off me.
Even in 2024, I'm surprised it's still happening as much as you're saying it is.
Same, absolutely.
Under the hits 4487, when you're pregnant or if you are pregnant right now,
you're getting your belly rubbed.
Do your mind.
Do your mind.
Or is it like public property, like someone's wheelie bin when it's out on a berm?
Anyone can use it.
The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. According to an article and the new york post at the moment
they've done a bit of a scientific discovery and they reckon washing your apples um doesn't really
get rid of the pesticides oh it doesn't no they're putting it on the water they're like hey even
peeling even peeling the oh they're in deep yeah yeah. Basically, it's going through the peel and into the thing.
So that's...
They say peeling will help if you take off the outer layer,
but washing it underwater doesn't really help.
Oh, well, I mean, what's a few pesticides here and there, you know?
Yeah.
A few chemicals, a few pesticides.
Good for you.
Good for your immune system.
Remember we had some sort of organic person come in once,
and they're like,
what I do is I like to rest
all of my produce in the sink
with like a vinegar mix and water.
And I went home and did that once.
Oh, jeez.
You can do it with white vinegar.
It starts to rot in about two hours.
That doesn't last long.
Yeah, I don't know.
You mean to leave it in there?
Is that what you do?
No, you soak it in there
and you dab things down.
I'm like dabbing a parsnip going, what am I doing with my life?
Yeah.
But anyway, enjoy the pesticides.
Embrace them.
They're everywhere.
Now, Producer Taylor, she will be avoiding pesticides.
You've got twins on the way.
Growing my own pesticides currently.
A couple of pests inside you.
But one thing that people
keep doing consistently is
rubbing your belly. Strangers.
It's off-putting. Feeling very comfortable
with it. They are.
It's like bubble
wrap. Those that are pregnant barely. You just
want to get your hands on it.
He's definitely a belly rubber.
He's definitely a belly rubber he's definitely
a belly rubber maybe not now but yeah yeah and also while we're on this topic when we're in
public can you stop saying are you pregnant taylor and also commenting on my photo last night are you
pregnant i did it the other day in the office i was like like, oh, Taylor, are you preggers? And she's like, no.
And then there was this guy who, he didn't know either of us, really.
He was just looking on, jaw dropped to the ground.
He wants to do it as a skit.
She was pitching it to me yesterday.
So we take you, we go out there with you.
And then we just pretend we don't know each other.
And you're like, oh, are you pregnant?
You're like, no, and see what other people say.
It would be a great skit.
Yeah, I'm happy to do that. You could do that in the bus stop. It's like, oh, what are you pregnant? You're like, no, and see what other people say. It'd be a great scare. Yeah, I'm having a chance.
You could do that in the bus stop.
It's like, oh, what are you expecting?
I'm not, I've just been at a buffet or something.
Yeah, that'd be great.
We've got to do that.
But 0800, that's Pregnant Belly.
Have you had your Pregnant Belly rubbed?
Are you a rubber?
Or are you pro-rubbing, anti-rubbing?
Let's get Paul on.
Have you had your Pregnant Belly rubbed, Paul?
No, I can't say I have
No
But your thoughts
Have you
Are you for
This feels like a very inappropriate call with Paul
Are you for rubbing or against rubbing Paul?
Against it
When my wife was pregnant
People used to do it
It really used to annoy me
I think it's just one step down
From sexual harassment really
Yeah
Pretty much
You're right
I mean you take away the
You know
For some reason we think it's alright
Yeah People wouldn't come up to you normally Would they? No way Because I've hit them pretty much yeah you're right you take away the you know for some reason we think it's all right
people wouldn't come up to you normally would they do no way because i've hit them but it's so true especially where they feel in the stomach yeah it's quite low so you're right
paul i never even thought of that yeah but none of my friends came up to me and rubbed the part of me
i wish more of them did that was involved with that baby. Oh, Paul, yeah.
I wish more of them did.
Oh, my God.
That's a good point.
That's so good.
So true. Well, next time you and Marcella are out and about,
someone can come up and you go,
all right, it's your turn.
Yeah, I'd love that.
I'd love that.
You'd be like, well, you know, he helped, you know.
Oh, Paul, that is a brilliant call, mate.
We'll send you out some help eats.
You have a great day.
The hits.
The Jono and Ben podcast.
Mortgage relief and a surprise OCR tax rate cut.
I love it because I'm watching Ben panic grab the front of the New Zealand Herald
to try and pretend he knows what he's talking about.
Oh, I mean, the banks have chopped the interest rates, Jono,
to homeowners on the back of the Reserve Bank announcement.
I think it's all self-explanatory. No further questions,
mate. But that's good news. That is good news
overall. Survive to 25. That's what
everyone's been saying. Hopefully this is the turning point
for everyone. Yeah.
Now, speaking of the bank, actually,
and this is an unnecessary
pressure in life. Well, I shouldn't say unnecessary
because it's probably quite necessary, but the bank
password, which is necessary
actually, but
sometimes, you know, when you log
onto your bank thing with your phone,
it like scans your face.
And that's how I enter into
the banking app.
But I was having to do some
stuff on my laptop computer,
and so that was requiring me to put in
my actual password
and i couldn't for the life of me remember i was you know i was about 85 sure of this password
and you enter it in no that's not the password then you enter the same part for some reason
you enter exactly the same password and you go no the website mate come on just to make sure
oh yeah and i did that three times well because sometimes you do you get a digit wrong
or a letter wrong
so you're like
oh I've got to enter it again
just to make sure
just to make sure
but the problem is
you've got so many
different passwords these days
I know
and I've got three passwords deep
now the bank website's like
hey buddy
you've only got two more
attempts at this
and that is pressure
that is real pressure
and I'm like
okay well I've used
the same one three times
is the website wrong no No, probably not.
You start to blame the website, but you know, actually
step back. Why would a bank's website
be wrong? For an everyday person, this is
as close as we're going to get to, you know,
we'll watch the pole vaulting or the high jump and they're like,
you've had two failed attempts. This is your last attempt
to win Olympic gold. Hamish Kerr,
he had to get that last jump for New Zealand.
This is like the moment. This is as close as we get.
And you say, you know that meme on the internet
where all those mathematical equations
start coming sort of floating around in the air?
That's you, and you're like,
okay, it could be any number of 320 passwords
I've made up for websites.
You know, some include braille,
holographics, you name it.
And then I got to password four, fail.
I had one attempt left.
Uh-oh.
Five seems like a reasonable amount of leeway the bank is giving.
Yeah.
I'm not blaming the bank for this.
You idiot.
If you can't get it in five, you're out.
Five is a lot.
That is many chances.
First one.
Nailed it.
Plucked it out of thin air.
And that were nervous types of the keyboard.
Because I don't know how long you're locked out for.
Well, that's right. Sometimes you just have to go the whole, I forgot't know how long you're locked out for Well that's right
Sometimes you just have to go the whole
I forgot my password
And then they send you an email
Then you have to redo it
And then you change your password again
A good thing I saw on social media the other day
Well actually an interesting thing
When it comes to passwords
Because you know you just mentioned
How you have to add all these unique things
Unique characters
Underscores, numbers
Sometimes you want to
put it in Chinese
just to mix things up
this guy was like
here's my streaming
my streaming
you know
just to watch a show
on my streaming service
I've got to have
like eight letters
a number
an emoji
my college roommates
made a name
a hieroglyph
whatever
you know
and then he's like
ATM
just four numbers
just any four numbers
when you think about that
consistently you're right
when you think about that and the same with the bank.
You think about all the things you get online, but you just walk up to an ATM.
Simple numbers.
Yeah, four numbers.
And I've had those four numbers for 28 years.
I know.
And they've never done me wrong, those four numbers.
In fact, if anyone finds out those four numbers, they've pretty much got access to my life.
But yeah, that's a very fair point.
That's a really good point.
Just four numbers.
The four number system.
Has it done us wrong?
Never.
Well, not up until now.
No.
Someone came in and started adding in at symbols and everything.
You're right.
But there you go.
An unnecessary pressure in life.
And there's a lot of them too.
Group texting.
Another one for me.
Don't get me started.
The WhatsApp group chat.
Jeez whiz.
That moves at a pace.
The hits.
The Jono and Ben podcast.
Megan Pappas. She's away this week, got COVID.
We were on a Zoom meeting with her yesterday.
Hilarious.
She was like, I'll be in tomorrow.
I'll be in tomorrow.
We're like, mate, you sound a little crook.
You don't have to push it.
She's like, I'll be fine.
And we're like, honestly, stay home. I think she spoke to our boss on the phone. He was like, I'll be fine. And we're like, honestly, stay home.
I think she spoke to her boss on the phone.
He was like, please, I'm going to COVID.
Can't have you on the radio talking like that.
No, but we wish you the best recovery.
It really hits different people in different ways, doesn't it?
It does, yeah.
Some people just fly through it and don't have any symptoms.
I think depending on how, like any time when you get a cough or a cold,
it can hit you.
But we're not here to talk about COVID, Phil.
COVID's had a lot of airtime.
It's done been, mate.
It's had a lot of airtime over the last couple of years.
Delete that from the memory.
I want to talk about Mark Zuckerberg, of course, the founder of Facebook, owns Meta.
And he gave his wife a gift.
It was a birthday.
Lovely.
He didn't forget, firstly.
Well done.
Well done, Zuckerberg.
And the gift that he got, and I guess he's got squillions of dollars,
so, you know, what do you get? You know, get someone
and you've got that much money. You would reach a stage
where you're like, there's literally
nothing else I can buy for myself.
Imagine being at that stage of life where you're like,
I can't think of anything.
Yeah, if I want it, I'll get it. Yeah, but I can't think
of anything. I've got it all. So he got his wife
a seven-foot statue of
her that sits out in the backyard.
And so it's green with a large silver cloak.
He's basically said he's trying to bring back the Roman tradition of sculptures of your wives.
She looks like a marine-colored green, isn't it?
It sits out in the backyard.
She says she loves it, which is great.
And I'm not saying that she doesn't love it
but I feel like it's a
I don't know
where he got
how did he get there
like how did he go
that's what I'll get her
a statue yeah
a statue
bloody inconvenient
when you're moving house too
oh I better not forget
the seven foot statue
of myself
and do you want a statue
of yourself
like into your backyard
like it's a lovely gesture
but
I have a big fiberglass cow
and that's
yeah but it's not me.
It's not me or my wife.
No.
It would be a bit odd.
I mean, at least he didn't get it out of himself, I guess, in some ways.
Yeah, so this is what we want.
0800 the hits, 4487.
What's the most unusual gift you have received?
It could be a work gift, a leaving present.
Sometimes you hand over leaving presents and you're like,
there's no thought being put into this.
You're just happy to see this person go.
Oh, I like you with that Secret Santa that time
that the person didn't know about the joke that was going on
in the office and you gave.
Well, yeah, there was a hot guy in the office
and everyone was like, oh, I'd love to get on his rig.
That's what all the girls were saying.
And I thought, oh, I thought this was like a common bit of banter.
And so I turned up and I had repurposed a bottle of baby oil
and I said, this is.
You wrote on it, oil for the rig.
Oil for the rig, like an oil rig.
And he opened it up in front of everyone.
And I was like, oil for the rig?
What's that mean?
And everyone went deathly silent.
And I thought, oh, I thought this was a common joke.
But apparently they call that sexual harassment.
And no one wanted to go, oh, that's because We say you've got a nice rig
And I was kind of like
Coughing
I was like
It's because you've got a hot body
Hot body
The rig
Rub it on your body
And so yeah
He was very confused
Very confused
And that humbles you
As a secret Santa giver
You don't want to leave
The gift receiver confused
Mark Zuckerberg
Head of Facebook.
He has purchased his wife a statue of herself.
Seven foot statue, Ben Boyce?
Yeah, seven foot.
It's sort of green.
Marine green?
Yeah, with a sort of silver sort of cloak.
Sort of looks like wings.
It's a cool looking statue.
What did he say his reasoning was?
It was basically to bring it back to like the Roman times where people would, you know,
would get statues made of their wives.
Yeah, he's trying to bring back the, hey, well, mate, we're not all Mark Zuckerberg.
We can't afford to make statues of our wives.
Yeah, or dead loved ones and stuff like that.
You know, he's like, yeah, I'm going to honor my wife with that.
And she's stoked.
You know what his wife's like?
Just buy me another house.
Oh, can we make a statue of you and put it up in masterton yes ben grew up in
masterton but no one but out of all the people that grew up in masterton i don't even i don't
deserve a statue jermaine clement he's master yeah i know brian lahore you know the legendary
oh let's make a statue of you what about like a paper mache one so eventually it just disintegrates
over time?
Yeah, that'd be fun.
I'll be the first to vandalise my own statue, that's for sure.
Definitely don't deserve that.
What strangest gift you received, like Mark Zuckerberg's wife?
Oh, 800.
That's the telephone number.
Let's get Say on the phone.
How are you, Say?
Thank you.
Great to have you on.
Having fun listening to you guys.
You have fun listening to us.
Well, that's not what this show's about, mate. This is hard-hitting news. You're not meant to be having fun listening to you guys. Yeah, fun listening to us. That's not what this show's about,
mate.
This is hard-hitting
news.
You mean to be
having fun listening
to this program,
say?
Yeah, going to
work.
Yeah, going to
work.
What's the most
unusual gift?
Did you receive
this gift?
What was it?
Yes, I received
this gift from a
boyfriend at that
time of two weeks
for a special
occasion, and it was a special occasion and it was a
frame and I was just like okay he doesn't have to give me something special because it's just two
weeks nothing special just casual but it was a frame of a photo of himself. I love it. So not
you in it. And now he's my husband., it worked. Do you still have that photo frame?
Yes, I do.
I love the confidence of that.
I love this guy.
That's a big power move, that is.
That's a good looking guy.
You should put that up.
Now you're in the frame with him, hopefully.
Or is he still just putting up pictures of himself?
Not much.
Not much. Not much.
He's buttoned off that.
Yeah, that's great.
We're going to send you some help, Pete,
so we really appreciate your call.
It's a good one.
Have a good one, say.
Appreciate it.
Mazza, you're on.
Hey, Mazza and Pawanui, how are you?
Good, thank you.
How are you?
Yeah, lovely.
I always feel like we're in the Rover's return
when we're talking to Mazza.
Mazza, strangest gift you've received?
Paris scissors. Oh, Paris. Okay. They'reza, strangest gift you've received? A pair of scissors.
Oh, a pair of scissors.
They're handy, too.
Did you have scissors?
Yeah, but they're always, you know,
we always lose them all, they're blunt.
And it was from my husband for Christmas,
and everybody laughed.
But I tell you what, it's the best present I've ever had.
Best pair of scissors you've ever had.
And he knew that. He knew that given to you. Best pair of scissors You've ever had And he knew that
He knew that
Given to you
A pair of scissors
For Christmas
It felt like a panic purchase
Last minute
But hey
They never go blunt
She loves those scissors
Yeah wow
That's great Meza
Well there you go
A pair of scissors
I'll take your word for it
Yeah that's brilliant
I mean you're going to tell
Your frying pan story again
When you gave the frying pan
To Amanda
But Meza loved her scissors Yeah I know But hey get brilliant. I mean, you're going to tell your frying pan story again when you gave a frying pan to Amanda, but Mazda loved her
scissors. Yeah, I know, but hey, get some scissors
for Amanda. Ali, you're on. Welcome.
Strangest gift you've received?
Gladwrap, toilet paper
and handy towels. Sorry, did you
start saying gladwrap?
Yeah. Gladwrap, yeah.
Toilet paper,
handy towels
from my mother-in-law. Oh, well, that's a my mother-in-law.
Oh, well, that's a thoughtful mother-in-law.
I mean, there's stuff you've got to use, I guess.
Yeah, I'd gone to Valentine's
and spent quite large on her,
and she wasn't sure
if me and my husband were going to
end up together, so she went down
that road. But we're still together
32 years later, so
yeah. Still using the glad rip?
The handy towels and toilet paper?
Oh, absolutely. I think of it each
time I go to the toilet.
Good on you, Ali.
Appreciate it. Now, we went to
Spain very quickly for work. I felt like
we didn't even stay the night in Spain.
I think we arrived late. Yeah, right. It was pretty much 12 hours
in Spain. Yeah, like Madrid.
Went off to watch the people
that do this wild sport
where they jump over bulls.
Yeah, so it's not,
they're not like the bull fighting.
No, they're not.
So it's bull hurting the bulls.
No, so the bulls run towards these people
and then they run towards the bull
and then they jump and flip over the bull
as the bull runs underneath them.
When they do it,
it looks majestic.
It's really,
it's a masterful art.
You should YouTube it. But then we decided to, it looks majestic. It's really, it's a masterful art. You should YouTube it.
But then we decided to give it a go.
Okay?
I kind of got peer pressured into doing it.
Now, here's my issue with it.
And I know this break's gone on long enough,
so I'll keep this quick.
But Ben, there was a thing where we both had to hold
the red piece of cloth so the bull knew where to rage towards.
Now, I was holding one side of the cloth
and you were holding the other side of the cloth.
Oh, the bull started running.
I'll be, I'll front foot it. I ran away. I did. The bull ran towards us. I ran away. He let side of the cloth and you were holding the other side of the cloth. Oh, the bull started running. I'll be front footed. I ran away.
The bull ran towards us. I ran away. He let go
of the red cloth, ran away. I was scared.
I didn't want to be there. I was left
holding a red piece of cloth as a bull
is charging towards me. I didn't want to be there.
I get run over by the bull. I didn't jump
over the bull. I didn't have the athletic prowess.
Smashed over by the bull. The bull's like
headbutting me with its horns as I'm stuck
on the ground going, there's a bull, there's a bull. Anyway,'s like head-butting me with its horns as I'm stuck on the ground going,
there's a bull, there's a bull.
Anyway, this whole tragic, you know,
traumatic event took place.
At the end of it, the mayor of the town was there.
He came out and he had a ceremony and he handed me,
it felt like he just pulled a handkerchief
out of his pocket.
And he said, this is a bib of bravery.
And he tied it around my neck,
this bib of bravery. And off tied it around my neck, this bib of bravery.
And off you went to the A&E.
The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.
I was talking yesterday about words that wind you up.
When people mispronounce tortilla and call it a tortilla.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
I'm guilty of that.
It drives me crazy.
It does.
Do you correct them in the moment or do you just silently see the way?
Oh, no, I correct them.
And I used to work in hospitality and I would correct customers.
Oh, would you?
That's game.
All right, lady, I'm just trying to order my thing.
I'd be like, oh, can I get the tortilla stack?
And I'd be like, the tortilla stack?
And they'd be like, who's the salty tortilla lady?
Cracking off at us.
Just here to eat tortillas.
No, fair enough.
Last time we weren't coming here for tortillas, kids.
That's very good, though.
And we're joined now, actually, by one of the hosts from Newstalk ZB.
You heard them on air on Newstalk ZB, Ben Boyce.
Andrew Dickens, welcome.
Welcome.
Oh, nice to have you here.
Former host of this very show.
I know.
With triple the audience back in your day.
Very, very, very long time ago, yeah.
It was a great show.
Well, look what we've done to it now, mate.
We're trying to plague it back to where you had it.
I'm just impressed you can remember.
Now, yesterday I was flicking around as I do, and I heard you on New Silk ZB.
You were on Mondays.
You did a great job there.
And you were getting passionate about something to do with the Olympics.
Oh, well, actually it was the audience getting passionate about it
because the sports reader came on and said, well, this country's won five bronzes.
Right?
So the bronzes, right? So the texter says, there's no such thing won five bronzes. Bronzes. So the
texter says, there's no such thing as a bronzes.
You know, what's that about? Because of course
bronze is a describing word.
Right there, Gareth.
I wouldn't know this. I would call it bronzes.
And in fact, it describes
the medals. So can you
say golds? Can you say golds or not say golds?
Well, no, because what gold?
I mean, golds, unless you know.
Well, we want 10 golds.
Well, it could be your teeth.
You could be talking about your teeth.
Look at him.
He's got 26 great golds, you know.
So you've got to, it's a describing word,
so you've got to have the actual word, you know.
So that winds you up as well that you can't say golds.
Oh, well, it winds me up.
Yeah, absolutely.
When kids say versed, oh, versed, messy, high,
oh, my God, I just go off.
Where are we going to go and play today, kids? Oh, we're going to versed, messy High oh my god I just go off. Where are we gonna go and play
today kids? Oh we're gonna versed Massey High. No you're not!
Well you know what got me and former Prime Minister John Key was a big one for this
he's a stickler for this the text-ids. Oh so he text-ids me and I was like just text you don't need to add the ids.
The other thing is if you're going out I'm going out to get a couple of warrants for the car, I'll get those warrants of fitness assises.
Okay, so we can't say golds, bronzes or silvers.
You can, but then, you know, you've got to remember English is a slut language
and you can do whatever you like, you know?
Did you ever say that in your many years on Classic Hits?
That English is a slut language?
All the time, man.
All the time.
Okay, let me change that. That English is a slight language. All the time, man. Okay.
Let me change that.
It is an evolving, evolutionary language.
Well, of great difficulty for anybody else who's speaking it as a second language.
Oh, Andrew.
Well, thank you very much for coming on.
The John Owen Ben Podcast. We were going to move on, but these calls and texts keep coming through
for the most unusual gifts you've received.
Great, TC4487. My husband, my ex-husband actually gave me a lawnmower uh when we were
together one of those gifts we're like is it who was that for yeah who's the gift for have you ever
done one of those oh yeah yeah probably too too many times that was yeah the iron the iron i'm
sorry the iron the uh the the iron, the frying pan.
I haven't done it off.
Have you ever gifted,
because I know you're a big fan
of Funko Pops.
I haven't gifted one to Amanda.
No, I gave her
a LeBron James singlet though.
That's right.
What do you want me to do with this?
Well, she has worn in summertime.
She will wear it from time to time.
I don't know if it's her
first choice of singlets
that she wears,
but she will put it on from time to time.
Because whenever you come back from a trip,
you come back with all this sport merch,
like US sports merchandise for your wife.
Wanting to dress her like a frat boy.
Yeah, something that she does wear from time to time.
And a lot of it goes to the gym clothes.
Yeah, gym clothes, you're right,
or just clothes for summertime, beach attire.
Why isn't this in the top, you know, the top brass?
Here it is.
Claire's with us on 0800 The Hits.
Claire, you received an unusual gift.
Yes, indeed.
I did receive something very uncomfortable.
What was it?
Okay.
Yes, well, at the time I was working for an insurance company and at the end of my tenure I
was just basically having catch up with this guy who said look nothing it's just a casual catch up
just to say thank you for all your work but and then which led to him coming up with this box
box of like you know it was tired it was looking very fancy, and I'm like,
oh, you don't have to because it is unprofessional
and I can't accept it.
And he said, do not open it now, but do it when you get home.
And when I opened it, it was a box of, like, toys,
which was six toys, which was making me really,
really uncomfortable.
Well, you were more uncomfortable if you'd opened it at the time
too. In the cafe.
In a restaurant. I think that would have been
really uncomfortable.
You're like, oh, okay.
And so did you, obviously this was one of
your clients. Yes.
So, then he followed up.
I think it was like
sometimes in a few days or something,
saying, hey, what did you think?
And I said, well, I think it was really inappropriate.
And I would have to report this because I, you know,
as I've mentioned to him like a few times that I had a partner,
I had a boyfriend, and that was just like, this is borderline.
I think it's gone beyond the borderline.
Oh my goodness.
And so, because he's probably like, hey, well, you haven't said thank you for the gift.
What's the feedback on the present?
I'm going to get a thank you.
That's for sure.
Wow.
There we go.
Hilarious.
But at the same time, when I think back, it's hilarious then.
But yeah, it was just really uncomfortable.
That was the day Ben was dropped
as a client.
Oh, yeah.
It's a bit awkward you're back together now,
but how did you like it? Ask her.
Ask her. I'm not getting involved in this.
What do you do?
Do you drop those off to soft plastics?
Where do they go?
Oh, I think I kept it because I was just like, I don't know what to do.
And then when I moved, I had to buff it.
Because I was just like, this is just like something that is just, you know,
you don't know how to react to something like that.
No, you don't.
I mean, he's like, oh, I don't know how to react to something like that. No, you don't.
It's not intent.
He's like, oh, I don't.
Shoot your shot, bro.
Shoot your shot.
Yeah, but not in that way.
Not in that way.
That's for sure.
The hits.
The Jono and Ben podcast.
There was a school in Addington just in Canterbury that had their bell taken.
It was stolen on the weekend.
It's been around for a long time, and we were worried about it.
We actually spoke to the principal.
Yeah, since the 1800s, this bell's been in the school and the principal of the school,
Donna, joins us now.
Morena!
Morena, guys.
How are you?
Oh, we're doing all right.
Big news.
The bell's back.
The bell is back, baby.
We're excited.
We can hear the joy in your voice, Donna.
I just can't believe it.
What a great, I mean, yeah, because it was a couple of weeks ago we spoke to you.
Someone had come to the school.
I spoke to you last week.
It got taken on the 4th, and I spoke to you a week ago. All right.
Your memory's better than mine, all right?
We're just in the trenches in here, Donna, just saying stuff on the radio.
So we spoke last week.
We all remember it fondly.
And the bell had been taken, and you put out a bit of a plea.
And so how did you get it back?
I got a phone call at Kura yesterday to say that someone at a bronze foundry,
a brass foundry locally had some scrap metal come in.
And some of the guys there recognised the photo of the bell online
and thought, hang on, that looks like the one that went missing.
And they sussed it all out and then they rang up and I went round and I got it and it was
ours.
Oh, that is, and the bell's in full working order, is it?
No, afraid not.
But, I mean, the main part is there and the history will stay and we'll get it fixed and
I think we'll be bringing it in and out to special occasions, but we're going to get
it all zhooshed up.
Is it all polished?
Get some Brasso on that sucker?
So obviously...
And at least a new clanger or clapper or whatever you call them.
Oh, the new dinger, the donger.
What is that?
It was the technical term.
Don't go there.
So it was right in 1881 that bells been around since.
Yeah, they even tested it because it's made of something
that bells were never made of
You know, well they were made of that all those years ago
So that was one of the other reasons they thought it must have been that one
So yep, 17 kgs
What the bell is?
Jeez, that's a lot of bell
And they'd obviously sold it
I think so
Look, I just didn't ask too many questions
I was just chuffed that it came back to us
and that the place
that passed it on
were just so happy
to be able to bring it
back to its rightful place
and what good people
there are out there
you know
there's a lot of
negative news in the world
but it's great to hear
a lovely story like this
well that was the message
for the kids
so I drove up
as close as I could
to the playground yesterday
and then they were
all there
and we carried it in
to cheers and applause and
the faces that made it all worthwhile.
Oh, that's awesome. Because the kids get
to ring it, am I right in saying, at the end of the year?
Yes, they do. So all those year sixes
will be able to ring that bell come December.
Jeez, I tell you what, it was really a
great reflection of the New Zealand news
landscape as well, isn't it?
I couldn't believe it.
National news, a bell going
missing. We're covering it. We're even doing
a follow-up. But you're right though.
We're in the middle of winter.
There's all stalks of doom and gloom and stuff.
It's nice to have a last point.
No more medals to give out. We'll just talk about the
bell. Yeah, exactly.
So do you want us to go on the hunt for a donger?
Oh, that might
be dangerous. You're right, actually. We can go on to donger on the hunt for a donger? Oh, that might be dangerous.
Yeah, you're right, actually.
We can go on to donger duty if you need a donger.
I'll do that myself.
Okay, all right.
We'll leave that in your hands.
Lovely talking to you.
I'm so glad the bell is back.
Great news.
Okay, thanks, guys.
Have an awesome day. you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you The hits the Jono and Ben podcast