Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL SHOW: Can you rub a pregnant ladies belly?

Episode Date: August 14, 2024

ON THE SHOW TODAY: The ultimate hype man The bell is back!  Jono's hit boomer mode Rubbing a pregnant ladies belly… That’s an unusual gift! What happened to the internet stars of the 2000s? Ben'...s daughter puts him in a weird situation! Facebook: The Hits Breakfast with Jono and Ben Instagram: THEHITSBREAKFASTSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This John O'Bien podcast, hey that's us, brought to you by HelloFresh, the experts and tastes that Kiwis love. Yellow Taxi and we're wondering about our big yellow torch. The torch that we started over a week ago, we turned it on, a dolphin torch, and we wanted to know when the batteries would run out. They're not new batteries by the way. And they're still, well they were still going yesterday, around about this time. Of course the closest person to guessing. The time that the torch ends, we'll win $500. You can do that at the Hits Breakfast on Facebook.
Starting point is 00:00:34 We've left it with the lovely security team here at work. Yeah, think of all the stuff that's happened since last Wednesday. So much at Ray Gunn, the breakdancer, the closing ceremony. Just wild. Cash rates been changed. Cash rates, meth lollies, we've had it all. And this, all the way through. All Blacks lost.
Starting point is 00:00:51 The torch has just been shining consistently and not fading, not dipping at all. Lighting up the hearts of New Zealanders, this torch. Please, submit your entry as to when you think this thing might run out of bat so you can head to the hits breakfast on Facebook But we did leave it with security, but our usual security guard Gunjan. He's not on today Oh is he not? No, no we've got someone else. Do you want to go into your, I've dialled my phone Do you want to go out and do a live report there? Okay. There you go. Take that Ben Boyce reporting live
Starting point is 00:01:21 Tell us what you're seeing paint some pictures with words there Ben, you know what you know your job Well, I can see you right now because I'm still in the same room. Is us what you're seeing. Paint some pictures with words there. Ben, you know your job. Well, I can see you right now because I'm still in the same room. Is that what you wanted? Yeah, paint the pictures. What do I look like? Well, a little tired for this time of the morning. A little tired? Old, dusty, bit puffy?
Starting point is 00:01:36 Yeah. Couldn't lose a few kgs? You're up here. You're early. Okay, I'm walking in across to the reception area here. Jimmy's always wearing shorts no matter what the weather is. Yeah, we've got Jimmy who works in facilities. Shorts and a T-shirt every day of the year.
Starting point is 00:01:51 Good morning. Is that shorts still going? It's still going. Can I just have a quick look at it? It's still going. It's still going? In the box. Yeah, it's still going.
Starting point is 00:02:01 Still going. Yeah, it's still going. Wow-wee. What does Jimmy have to say? I see Jimmy there in his shorts. Jimmy's about to lift 29 chairs. What do you have to say, Jimmy? Oh, boy.
Starting point is 00:02:12 Boy, that was that. He's lifting in his shorts. He's never wearing nothing but shorts. Well, he's got more stuff on, but shorts no matter the weather, and he's lifting, honestly, about 12 chairs by himself. I'd love a guy around the office who just wears shorts and nothing else. Who's that? Just a guy who just wears shorts.
Starting point is 00:02:30 So there we go, the torch still shining. So that means the $500, the cash prize still up for grabs. And you can enter, as we said, the Hits Breakfast on Facebook. I genuinely have concerns that this thing is going to outlive us. I know. It's still going. It's still pretty impressive. Yeah, so just, it was, you know, nothing to do with the Olympics.
Starting point is 00:02:52 Imagine if our phone batteries had the determination of this battery. They'd never run out. Speaking of determination, your wife, Amanda. Oh, yeah, I went and watched my daughter do cross country the other day. And, you know, she was actually, she had trained for it, she was really into it she wanted to do really well and she did a great job but what really
Starting point is 00:03:13 impressed me as well was my wife's a teacher and what I got to see, I stood next to her and the first time I'd witnessed her in a cross country environment and she very supportive, like if the Olympic team needs some help next Olympics, I mean, get Amanda over there. Have a listen to this.
Starting point is 00:03:27 This is just a quick bit. Let's go, girls. Come on. You're on. You just started. Pick up those legs. Here we go. Let's go, Harry.
Starting point is 00:03:35 Nice work. Was Harry picking up his legs? He was picking up the legs. And this was, like, the whole time. I was on there for maybe 20 minutes. She was just, just, honestly, the ultimate hype person. I mean, we've talked about Flavor Flav. We've talked about other people as hype people.
Starting point is 00:03:48 But my wife was, jeez. She's good. She's got a wolf whistle on her too. When she wolf whistles, wolves in Siberia come running. It's that loud. She's like, she's got the mouth of a scaffold of four stories up. Didn't she, your wife? So, yeah, very great hype person.
Starting point is 00:04:04 The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. So if I'm with your kids, it feels like kids ask you questions throughout your thing. They'll come back with sayings and things and bits and pieces, no matter what it is. But sometimes you're in the mood for what they have to say. Other times you're just in the middle of getting stuff done. And you want a straight answer?
Starting point is 00:04:23 Oh no, I just want to. You know me when I get into... Into your zone. I i've got things to do and then when people question those things you get a lot of questions in your job and lots of things and then suddenly you get questions from the kids he's easily flustered i don't need this right now i have one of those any one of the final one of the greatest joys in life is watching ben boyce and a cleaning frenzy now he doesn't do it regularly but every like sort of three times a year, you won't know when it's going to come, but it'll just come.
Starting point is 00:04:50 And when he's at work here in the studio, boom, everything's going. Everything's going out. He's trying to pull the microphones out. He's chucking out the posters, displays, boxes. You're like, it's all going to be clean. But it's not regular. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:03 Yesterday afternoon, I had stuff to do, things to do, and I was trying to get through a whole lot of them, but it's not regular. Yeah. Yesterday afternoon, I had stuff to do, you know, things to do, and I was trying to get through a whole lot of them as I do, and was on a bit of a, I guess, a rampage of getting stuff done. Because you've got a to-do list every day. And I was starting to run out of time, and I was going to pick my daughter up from netball after her netball practice, and I picked her up, done that, ticked that off the to-do list, and then on our way home, we had to swing past another friend.
Starting point is 00:05:25 Late in the day, they said, hey, can we borrow some costumes for tomorrow? And you're the costume guy? I was like, I better go to the garage, put that on my to-do list. Swing past their place on the way home. And so I made my daughter, I said, I'll just pull in the driveway.
Starting point is 00:05:39 Didn't have time to go in because, you know, it's like, can you go in, just drop it on the doorstep. I'll text them when I get home saying it's there. Just do it. I'm even watching him now.
Starting point is 00:05:48 He's just like, veins are popping. He's like, get his stuff done. I was just like, it's up to do, I had to go home, cook dinner, all that sort of stuff. What happens if you get to the end of a day and not all of the tasks on your two-minute list have been completed? Your parents will know, I had to go home, cook dinner, feed animals, walk, you know, all these things were bounding up.
Starting point is 00:06:04 And I pulled in the driveway. I was like, Sienna could just run this into the doorstep. She comes back with, why do they want to borrow the costumes? I don't know. I hadn't even asked that question. I don't know. And I'm like, I don't know. I just don't.
Starting point is 00:06:16 And I sort of came back with her. I don't know. They just do. They don't know. You snapped back. And she was like, well, hang on. And she stopped. She's like, I need to ask questions.
Starting point is 00:06:23 I'm going to ask questions. What if you were asking me, and this is where she jumped from zero to 100, what if you were asking me to put drugs on their doorstep? Is what she came back with. I'd be asking some questions then. And I'm like, yes. What if you were asking me to drop a bag of lollies
Starting point is 00:06:40 to the Auckland City Mission? Yeah, well, and that's where I was like, oh, God, you know, you've really, like, from a Mike Wazowski costume. To drug trafficking. I'm like, really? You can see your dad's a little stressed right now. And that's because he's got a lot of gear on board, okay?
Starting point is 00:06:59 We need to get it out of the car as soon as possible. Yeah, so anyway. If the cops put us over right now, we're done for. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Mr. Taylor, you've got a brand new podcast. It's out today, another episode, The Montoyas. Yep, three drops today. Yep, it's good.
Starting point is 00:07:18 I've listened to a couple of episodes. It's very entertaining. Here's a little snippet from today's episode. This is how everything goes with us. As I'm getting ready, you're sitting in the room, I'm in the shower and you're screaming in the background, Mars, Mars, I have nothing to wear.
Starting point is 00:07:32 I'm sick of hearing the same thing every time. I took you shopping on the weekend. I'm sick of seeing you walking around and not respecting yourself. So we took you out. It's true. Respecting myself? What is that supposed to mean I don't have respect
Starting point is 00:07:46 For myself Dress Respectable love You try And look good Carrying twins You look gorgeous Please
Starting point is 00:07:54 Is that for the podcast Or just Illicit recordings Of your relationship I was just out from there So pretty carefully Basically that's what the podcast is Illicit recordings
Starting point is 00:08:01 Of the relationship But that's Marcello And Taylor's podcast I have an issue With the podcast though Oh god what Okay now their relationship. That's Marcello and Taylor's podcast. I have an issue with the podcast though. Oh God, what? Okay, now the poster. You've got a poster.
Starting point is 00:08:08 It's you and you're like in a wedding dress and Marcello's the thing. Now on the poster, there's a star rating. Oh my God. Four and a half stars. Yeah. Now I'm like, this poster was out before the podcast was out. Who's given that? Now here's my issue.
Starting point is 00:08:22 Yeah. If you have the option to give yourself a star rating Which clearly you have Why haven't you gone full five? Why haven't you gone four and a half? Mate, we had no say on the star rating Who did the star rating? iHeartRadio
Starting point is 00:08:32 Because I said the same thing I was like, how dare you? Who's this person? Let me meet them And they're like, oh, you know, it's like humble I don't want to be humble Go five Go five, I agree
Starting point is 00:08:41 Watch the podcast, yeah If you had the option to Okay, let's give this show a star rating. If we have the option, you're going to go five every time. Even though it's not true, you're going to give five. But then knowing us,
Starting point is 00:08:51 we probably, you know. Two and a half. Well, let's give us three. A one star review. But yeah, iHeartRadio gets them on toys. But yeah, we're very happy for you.
Starting point is 00:09:02 We're so stoked that you have twins on the way. Yep. Thank you. Very excited. How have you found the journey so far oh hard yeah doubly hard i imagine so hard yeah they reckon it's because it's double hormones so it literally is just crazy i'm trying to look for a nicer word than what my head's saying getting up in the morning early yeah it's all the stuff going on, it's pretty taxing. My insomnia was wild the first three months for some reason. That was one of the pregnancy side effects my body chose to give me
Starting point is 00:09:31 and that was just not fun. Yeah, some people are like, oh, I just love being pregnant. You one of those? No. Look at me, I'm so ugly. No, you're not. I used to be nice. Well, if you're dressed respectively.
Starting point is 00:09:46 Yeah, exactly. Back to Marcelo's point. There are some people. I remember when Jen was pregnant. There are some people who are, like, really into pregnant ladies, eh? Yeah. It's an OnlyFans category. I'm going to pitch it to Marcelo next week on the podcast.
Starting point is 00:09:59 Get some cash while you're on maternity, mate. I know. But there's something that people are doing to you regularly, which I find very amusing. I'm sure, Jono. I know. But there's something that people are doing to you regularly which I find very amusing. I'm sure, Jono. Back in the... I've never done this. You would have, man.
Starting point is 00:10:10 Ten years ago, you would have. You scream as a person that would do it. Yeah, just like bending down and basically holding onto the belly. Yeah, yeah. Touching the belly.
Starting point is 00:10:20 Actually, surprised you haven't done it to me. You would have definitely touched the belly. I won't lie, it's very tempting. It just looks like something you want to get your hands on and rub. I've rubbed a lot of things
Starting point is 00:10:30 in my life. Shoulders with bad people. Let's make my stomach not one of those. But people have been rubbing your stomach. Inundated. I had a heads on the weekend. I'm a maid of honour in a wedding. And mate, every time someone walked into the hotel, oh my god, and they'd put their hand on my stomach
Starting point is 00:10:47 and then whilst their hand's on my skin they go, you don't mind this, do you? Well, it's a bit late now. So sometimes strangers like work with colleagues in the workplace are coming up and giving them a rub. For sure, for sure. And I guess it's because they're mothers so they're kind of like, oh, well, people did it to me.
Starting point is 00:11:05 But yeah, God. maybe if you rub it a genie will come out something will come out maybe the genie I don't think they can feel you either so I don't know what you want me to do like should I burp just to give you a reaction
Starting point is 00:11:15 I don't know what to do it's all your thing isn't it you could say if you keep rubbing it it's yours finders keepers Finders keepers. Finders keepers. So 800 of the hits.
Starting point is 00:11:27 This is what we want to open up. Belly rubbers anonymous. Well, it won't be anonymous because you'll say your name. Have you had your belly rubbed while being pregnant? Do you say something or are you just like? I'm like, oh, no, it's okay. Yeah, I get scared to be like, oh, no, put your hands off me. Even in 2024, I'm surprised it's still happening as much as you're saying it is.
Starting point is 00:11:51 Same, absolutely. Under the hits 4487, when you're pregnant or if you are pregnant right now, you're getting your belly rubbed. Do your mind. Do your mind. Or is it like public property, like someone's wheelie bin when it's out on a berm? Anyone can use it. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. According to an article and the new york post at the moment
Starting point is 00:12:09 they've done a bit of a scientific discovery and they reckon washing your apples um doesn't really get rid of the pesticides oh it doesn't no they're putting it on the water they're like hey even peeling even peeling the oh they're in deep yeah yeah. Basically, it's going through the peel and into the thing. So that's... They say peeling will help if you take off the outer layer, but washing it underwater doesn't really help. Oh, well, I mean, what's a few pesticides here and there, you know? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:37 A few chemicals, a few pesticides. Good for you. Good for your immune system. Remember we had some sort of organic person come in once, and they're like, what I do is I like to rest all of my produce in the sink with like a vinegar mix and water.
Starting point is 00:12:52 And I went home and did that once. Oh, jeez. You can do it with white vinegar. It starts to rot in about two hours. That doesn't last long. Yeah, I don't know. You mean to leave it in there? Is that what you do?
Starting point is 00:13:03 No, you soak it in there and you dab things down. I'm like dabbing a parsnip going, what am I doing with my life? Yeah. But anyway, enjoy the pesticides. Embrace them. They're everywhere. Now, Producer Taylor, she will be avoiding pesticides.
Starting point is 00:13:19 You've got twins on the way. Growing my own pesticides currently. A couple of pests inside you. But one thing that people keep doing consistently is rubbing your belly. Strangers. It's off-putting. Feeling very comfortable with it. They are.
Starting point is 00:13:37 It's like bubble wrap. Those that are pregnant barely. You just want to get your hands on it. He's definitely a belly rubber. He's definitely a belly rubber he's definitely a belly rubber maybe not now but yeah yeah and also while we're on this topic when we're in public can you stop saying are you pregnant taylor and also commenting on my photo last night are you pregnant i did it the other day in the office i was like like, oh, Taylor, are you preggers? And she's like, no.
Starting point is 00:14:06 And then there was this guy who, he didn't know either of us, really. He was just looking on, jaw dropped to the ground. He wants to do it as a skit. She was pitching it to me yesterday. So we take you, we go out there with you. And then we just pretend we don't know each other. And you're like, oh, are you pregnant? You're like, no, and see what other people say.
Starting point is 00:14:22 It would be a great skit. Yeah, I'm happy to do that. You could do that in the bus stop. It's like, oh, what are you pregnant? You're like, no, and see what other people say. It'd be a great scare. Yeah, I'm having a chance. You could do that in the bus stop. It's like, oh, what are you expecting? I'm not, I've just been at a buffet or something. Yeah, that'd be great. We've got to do that. But 0800, that's Pregnant Belly.
Starting point is 00:14:35 Have you had your Pregnant Belly rubbed? Are you a rubber? Or are you pro-rubbing, anti-rubbing? Let's get Paul on. Have you had your Pregnant Belly rubbed, Paul? No, I can't say I have No But your thoughts
Starting point is 00:14:46 Have you Are you for This feels like a very inappropriate call with Paul Are you for rubbing or against rubbing Paul? Against it When my wife was pregnant People used to do it It really used to annoy me
Starting point is 00:14:56 I think it's just one step down From sexual harassment really Yeah Pretty much You're right I mean you take away the You know For some reason we think it's alright
Starting point is 00:15:04 Yeah People wouldn't come up to you normally Would they? No way Because I've hit them pretty much yeah you're right you take away the you know for some reason we think it's all right people wouldn't come up to you normally would they do no way because i've hit them but it's so true especially where they feel in the stomach yeah it's quite low so you're right paul i never even thought of that yeah but none of my friends came up to me and rubbed the part of me i wish more of them did that was involved with that baby. Oh, Paul, yeah. I wish more of them did. Oh, my God. That's a good point. That's so good.
Starting point is 00:15:34 So true. Well, next time you and Marcella are out and about, someone can come up and you go, all right, it's your turn. Yeah, I'd love that. I'd love that. You'd be like, well, you know, he helped, you know. Oh, Paul, that is a brilliant call, mate. We'll send you out some help eats.
Starting point is 00:15:45 You have a great day. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. Mortgage relief and a surprise OCR tax rate cut. I love it because I'm watching Ben panic grab the front of the New Zealand Herald to try and pretend he knows what he's talking about. Oh, I mean, the banks have chopped the interest rates, Jono, to homeowners on the back of the Reserve Bank announcement.
Starting point is 00:16:05 I think it's all self-explanatory. No further questions, mate. But that's good news. That is good news overall. Survive to 25. That's what everyone's been saying. Hopefully this is the turning point for everyone. Yeah. Now, speaking of the bank, actually, and this is an unnecessary pressure in life. Well, I shouldn't say unnecessary
Starting point is 00:16:22 because it's probably quite necessary, but the bank password, which is necessary actually, but sometimes, you know, when you log onto your bank thing with your phone, it like scans your face. And that's how I enter into the banking app.
Starting point is 00:16:38 But I was having to do some stuff on my laptop computer, and so that was requiring me to put in my actual password and i couldn't for the life of me remember i was you know i was about 85 sure of this password and you enter it in no that's not the password then you enter the same part for some reason you enter exactly the same password and you go no the website mate come on just to make sure oh yeah and i did that three times well because sometimes you do you get a digit wrong
Starting point is 00:17:05 or a letter wrong so you're like oh I've got to enter it again just to make sure just to make sure but the problem is you've got so many different passwords these days
Starting point is 00:17:12 I know and I've got three passwords deep now the bank website's like hey buddy you've only got two more attempts at this and that is pressure that is real pressure
Starting point is 00:17:21 and I'm like okay well I've used the same one three times is the website wrong no No, probably not. You start to blame the website, but you know, actually step back. Why would a bank's website be wrong? For an everyday person, this is as close as we're going to get to, you know,
Starting point is 00:17:33 we'll watch the pole vaulting or the high jump and they're like, you've had two failed attempts. This is your last attempt to win Olympic gold. Hamish Kerr, he had to get that last jump for New Zealand. This is like the moment. This is as close as we get. And you say, you know that meme on the internet where all those mathematical equations start coming sort of floating around in the air?
Starting point is 00:17:48 That's you, and you're like, okay, it could be any number of 320 passwords I've made up for websites. You know, some include braille, holographics, you name it. And then I got to password four, fail. I had one attempt left. Uh-oh.
Starting point is 00:18:03 Five seems like a reasonable amount of leeway the bank is giving. Yeah. I'm not blaming the bank for this. You idiot. If you can't get it in five, you're out. Five is a lot. That is many chances. First one.
Starting point is 00:18:15 Nailed it. Plucked it out of thin air. And that were nervous types of the keyboard. Because I don't know how long you're locked out for. Well, that's right. Sometimes you just have to go the whole, I forgot't know how long you're locked out for Well that's right Sometimes you just have to go the whole I forgot my password And then they send you an email
Starting point is 00:18:29 Then you have to redo it And then you change your password again A good thing I saw on social media the other day Well actually an interesting thing When it comes to passwords Because you know you just mentioned How you have to add all these unique things Unique characters
Starting point is 00:18:42 Underscores, numbers Sometimes you want to put it in Chinese just to mix things up this guy was like here's my streaming my streaming you know
Starting point is 00:18:49 just to watch a show on my streaming service I've got to have like eight letters a number an emoji my college roommates made a name
Starting point is 00:18:56 a hieroglyph whatever you know and then he's like ATM just four numbers just any four numbers when you think about that
Starting point is 00:19:03 consistently you're right when you think about that and the same with the bank. You think about all the things you get online, but you just walk up to an ATM. Simple numbers. Yeah, four numbers. And I've had those four numbers for 28 years. I know. And they've never done me wrong, those four numbers.
Starting point is 00:19:15 In fact, if anyone finds out those four numbers, they've pretty much got access to my life. But yeah, that's a very fair point. That's a really good point. Just four numbers. The four number system. Has it done us wrong? Never. Well, not up until now.
Starting point is 00:19:28 No. Someone came in and started adding in at symbols and everything. You're right. But there you go. An unnecessary pressure in life. And there's a lot of them too. Group texting. Another one for me.
Starting point is 00:19:37 Don't get me started. The WhatsApp group chat. Jeez whiz. That moves at a pace. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. Megan Pappas. She's away this week, got COVID. We were on a Zoom meeting with her yesterday.
Starting point is 00:19:49 Hilarious. She was like, I'll be in tomorrow. I'll be in tomorrow. We're like, mate, you sound a little crook. You don't have to push it. She's like, I'll be fine. And we're like, honestly, stay home. I think she spoke to our boss on the phone. He was like, I'll be fine. And we're like, honestly, stay home. I think she spoke to her boss on the phone.
Starting point is 00:20:07 He was like, please, I'm going to COVID. Can't have you on the radio talking like that. No, but we wish you the best recovery. It really hits different people in different ways, doesn't it? It does, yeah. Some people just fly through it and don't have any symptoms. I think depending on how, like any time when you get a cough or a cold, it can hit you.
Starting point is 00:20:25 But we're not here to talk about COVID, Phil. COVID's had a lot of airtime. It's done been, mate. It's had a lot of airtime over the last couple of years. Delete that from the memory. I want to talk about Mark Zuckerberg, of course, the founder of Facebook, owns Meta. And he gave his wife a gift. It was a birthday.
Starting point is 00:20:38 Lovely. He didn't forget, firstly. Well done. Well done, Zuckerberg. And the gift that he got, and I guess he's got squillions of dollars, so, you know, what do you get? You know, get someone and you've got that much money. You would reach a stage where you're like, there's literally
Starting point is 00:20:52 nothing else I can buy for myself. Imagine being at that stage of life where you're like, I can't think of anything. Yeah, if I want it, I'll get it. Yeah, but I can't think of anything. I've got it all. So he got his wife a seven-foot statue of her that sits out in the backyard. And so it's green with a large silver cloak.
Starting point is 00:21:10 He's basically said he's trying to bring back the Roman tradition of sculptures of your wives. She looks like a marine-colored green, isn't it? It sits out in the backyard. She says she loves it, which is great. And I'm not saying that she doesn't love it but I feel like it's a I don't know where he got
Starting point is 00:21:28 how did he get there like how did he go that's what I'll get her a statue yeah a statue bloody inconvenient when you're moving house too oh I better not forget
Starting point is 00:21:34 the seven foot statue of myself and do you want a statue of yourself like into your backyard like it's a lovely gesture but I have a big fiberglass cow
Starting point is 00:21:43 and that's yeah but it's not me. It's not me or my wife. No. It would be a bit odd. I mean, at least he didn't get it out of himself, I guess, in some ways. Yeah, so this is what we want. 0800 the hits, 4487.
Starting point is 00:21:54 What's the most unusual gift you have received? It could be a work gift, a leaving present. Sometimes you hand over leaving presents and you're like, there's no thought being put into this. You're just happy to see this person go. Oh, I like you with that Secret Santa that time that the person didn't know about the joke that was going on in the office and you gave.
Starting point is 00:22:11 Well, yeah, there was a hot guy in the office and everyone was like, oh, I'd love to get on his rig. That's what all the girls were saying. And I thought, oh, I thought this was like a common bit of banter. And so I turned up and I had repurposed a bottle of baby oil and I said, this is. You wrote on it, oil for the rig. Oil for the rig, like an oil rig.
Starting point is 00:22:28 And he opened it up in front of everyone. And I was like, oil for the rig? What's that mean? And everyone went deathly silent. And I thought, oh, I thought this was a common joke. But apparently they call that sexual harassment. And no one wanted to go, oh, that's because We say you've got a nice rig And I was kind of like
Starting point is 00:22:46 Coughing I was like It's because you've got a hot body Hot body The rig Rub it on your body And so yeah He was very confused
Starting point is 00:22:54 Very confused And that humbles you As a secret Santa giver You don't want to leave The gift receiver confused Mark Zuckerberg Head of Facebook. He has purchased his wife a statue of herself.
Starting point is 00:23:08 Seven foot statue, Ben Boyce? Yeah, seven foot. It's sort of green. Marine green? Yeah, with a sort of silver sort of cloak. Sort of looks like wings. It's a cool looking statue. What did he say his reasoning was?
Starting point is 00:23:20 It was basically to bring it back to like the Roman times where people would, you know, would get statues made of their wives. Yeah, he's trying to bring back the, hey, well, mate, we're not all Mark Zuckerberg. We can't afford to make statues of our wives. Yeah, or dead loved ones and stuff like that. You know, he's like, yeah, I'm going to honor my wife with that. And she's stoked. You know what his wife's like?
Starting point is 00:23:39 Just buy me another house. Oh, can we make a statue of you and put it up in masterton yes ben grew up in masterton but no one but out of all the people that grew up in masterton i don't even i don't deserve a statue jermaine clement he's master yeah i know brian lahore you know the legendary oh let's make a statue of you what about like a paper mache one so eventually it just disintegrates over time? Yeah, that'd be fun. I'll be the first to vandalise my own statue, that's for sure.
Starting point is 00:24:08 Definitely don't deserve that. What strangest gift you received, like Mark Zuckerberg's wife? Oh, 800. That's the telephone number. Let's get Say on the phone. How are you, Say? Thank you. Great to have you on.
Starting point is 00:24:20 Having fun listening to you guys. You have fun listening to us. Well, that's not what this show's about, mate. This is hard-hitting news. You're not meant to be having fun listening to you guys. Yeah, fun listening to us. That's not what this show's about, mate. This is hard-hitting news. You mean to be having fun listening
Starting point is 00:24:28 to this program, say? Yeah, going to work. Yeah, going to work. What's the most unusual gift?
Starting point is 00:24:36 Did you receive this gift? What was it? Yes, I received this gift from a boyfriend at that time of two weeks for a special
Starting point is 00:24:44 occasion, and it was a special occasion and it was a frame and I was just like okay he doesn't have to give me something special because it's just two weeks nothing special just casual but it was a frame of a photo of himself. I love it. So not you in it. And now he's my husband., it worked. Do you still have that photo frame? Yes, I do. I love the confidence of that. I love this guy. That's a big power move, that is.
Starting point is 00:25:13 That's a good looking guy. You should put that up. Now you're in the frame with him, hopefully. Or is he still just putting up pictures of himself? Not much. Not much. Not much. He's buttoned off that. Yeah, that's great.
Starting point is 00:25:26 We're going to send you some help, Pete, so we really appreciate your call. It's a good one. Have a good one, say. Appreciate it. Mazza, you're on. Hey, Mazza and Pawanui, how are you? Good, thank you.
Starting point is 00:25:36 How are you? Yeah, lovely. I always feel like we're in the Rover's return when we're talking to Mazza. Mazza, strangest gift you've received? Paris scissors. Oh, Paris. Okay. They'reza, strangest gift you've received? A pair of scissors. Oh, a pair of scissors. They're handy, too.
Starting point is 00:25:49 Did you have scissors? Yeah, but they're always, you know, we always lose them all, they're blunt. And it was from my husband for Christmas, and everybody laughed. But I tell you what, it's the best present I've ever had. Best pair of scissors you've ever had. And he knew that. He knew that given to you. Best pair of scissors You've ever had And he knew that
Starting point is 00:26:05 He knew that Given to you A pair of scissors For Christmas It felt like a panic purchase Last minute But hey They never go blunt
Starting point is 00:26:13 She loves those scissors Yeah wow That's great Meza Well there you go A pair of scissors I'll take your word for it Yeah that's brilliant I mean you're going to tell
Starting point is 00:26:21 Your frying pan story again When you gave the frying pan To Amanda But Meza loved her scissors Yeah I know But hey get brilliant. I mean, you're going to tell your frying pan story again when you gave a frying pan to Amanda, but Mazda loved her scissors. Yeah, I know, but hey, get some scissors for Amanda. Ali, you're on. Welcome. Strangest gift you've received? Gladwrap, toilet paper
Starting point is 00:26:34 and handy towels. Sorry, did you start saying gladwrap? Yeah. Gladwrap, yeah. Toilet paper, handy towels from my mother-in-law. Oh, well, that's a my mother-in-law. Oh, well, that's a thoughtful mother-in-law. I mean, there's stuff you've got to use, I guess.
Starting point is 00:26:50 Yeah, I'd gone to Valentine's and spent quite large on her, and she wasn't sure if me and my husband were going to end up together, so she went down that road. But we're still together 32 years later, so yeah. Still using the glad rip?
Starting point is 00:27:06 The handy towels and toilet paper? Oh, absolutely. I think of it each time I go to the toilet. Good on you, Ali. Appreciate it. Now, we went to Spain very quickly for work. I felt like we didn't even stay the night in Spain. I think we arrived late. Yeah, right. It was pretty much 12 hours
Starting point is 00:27:23 in Spain. Yeah, like Madrid. Went off to watch the people that do this wild sport where they jump over bulls. Yeah, so it's not, they're not like the bull fighting. No, they're not. So it's bull hurting the bulls.
Starting point is 00:27:33 No, so the bulls run towards these people and then they run towards the bull and then they jump and flip over the bull as the bull runs underneath them. When they do it, it looks majestic. It's really, it's a masterful art.
Starting point is 00:27:45 You should YouTube it. But then we decided to, it looks majestic. It's really, it's a masterful art. You should YouTube it. But then we decided to give it a go. Okay? I kind of got peer pressured into doing it. Now, here's my issue with it. And I know this break's gone on long enough, so I'll keep this quick. But Ben, there was a thing where we both had to hold
Starting point is 00:27:55 the red piece of cloth so the bull knew where to rage towards. Now, I was holding one side of the cloth and you were holding the other side of the cloth. Oh, the bull started running. I'll be, I'll front foot it. I ran away. I did. The bull ran towards us. I ran away. He let side of the cloth and you were holding the other side of the cloth. Oh, the bull started running. I'll be front footed. I ran away. The bull ran towards us. I ran away. He let go of the red cloth, ran away. I was scared. I didn't want to be there. I was left
Starting point is 00:28:12 holding a red piece of cloth as a bull is charging towards me. I didn't want to be there. I get run over by the bull. I didn't jump over the bull. I didn't have the athletic prowess. Smashed over by the bull. The bull's like headbutting me with its horns as I'm stuck on the ground going, there's a bull, there's a bull. Anyway,'s like head-butting me with its horns as I'm stuck on the ground going, there's a bull, there's a bull.
Starting point is 00:28:27 Anyway, this whole tragic, you know, traumatic event took place. At the end of it, the mayor of the town was there. He came out and he had a ceremony and he handed me, it felt like he just pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket. And he said, this is a bib of bravery. And he tied it around my neck,
Starting point is 00:28:44 this bib of bravery. And off tied it around my neck, this bib of bravery. And off you went to the A&E. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. I was talking yesterday about words that wind you up. When people mispronounce tortilla and call it a tortilla. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. I'm guilty of that.
Starting point is 00:29:00 It drives me crazy. It does. Do you correct them in the moment or do you just silently see the way? Oh, no, I correct them. And I used to work in hospitality and I would correct customers. Oh, would you? That's game. All right, lady, I'm just trying to order my thing.
Starting point is 00:29:23 I'd be like, oh, can I get the tortilla stack? And I'd be like, the tortilla stack? And they'd be like, who's the salty tortilla lady? Cracking off at us. Just here to eat tortillas. No, fair enough. Last time we weren't coming here for tortillas, kids. That's very good, though.
Starting point is 00:29:41 And we're joined now, actually, by one of the hosts from Newstalk ZB. You heard them on air on Newstalk ZB, Ben Boyce. Andrew Dickens, welcome. Welcome. Oh, nice to have you here. Former host of this very show. I know. With triple the audience back in your day.
Starting point is 00:29:57 Very, very, very long time ago, yeah. It was a great show. Well, look what we've done to it now, mate. We're trying to plague it back to where you had it. I'm just impressed you can remember. Now, yesterday I was flicking around as I do, and I heard you on New Silk ZB. You were on Mondays. You did a great job there.
Starting point is 00:30:13 And you were getting passionate about something to do with the Olympics. Oh, well, actually it was the audience getting passionate about it because the sports reader came on and said, well, this country's won five bronzes. Right? So the bronzes, right? So the texter says, there's no such thing won five bronzes. Bronzes. So the texter says, there's no such thing as a bronzes. You know, what's that about? Because of course bronze is a describing word.
Starting point is 00:30:32 Right there, Gareth. I wouldn't know this. I would call it bronzes. And in fact, it describes the medals. So can you say golds? Can you say golds or not say golds? Well, no, because what gold? I mean, golds, unless you know. Well, we want 10 golds.
Starting point is 00:30:47 Well, it could be your teeth. You could be talking about your teeth. Look at him. He's got 26 great golds, you know. So you've got to, it's a describing word, so you've got to have the actual word, you know. So that winds you up as well that you can't say golds. Oh, well, it winds me up.
Starting point is 00:30:58 Yeah, absolutely. When kids say versed, oh, versed, messy, high, oh, my God, I just go off. Where are we going to go and play today, kids? Oh, we're going to versed, messy High oh my god I just go off. Where are we gonna go and play today kids? Oh we're gonna versed Massey High. No you're not! Well you know what got me and former Prime Minister John Key was a big one for this he's a stickler for this the text-ids. Oh so he text-ids me and I was like just text you don't need to add the ids. The other thing is if you're going out I'm going out to get a couple of warrants for the car, I'll get those warrants of fitness assises.
Starting point is 00:31:28 Okay, so we can't say golds, bronzes or silvers. You can, but then, you know, you've got to remember English is a slut language and you can do whatever you like, you know? Did you ever say that in your many years on Classic Hits? That English is a slut language? All the time, man. All the time. Okay, let me change that. That English is a slight language. All the time, man. Okay.
Starting point is 00:31:46 Let me change that. It is an evolving, evolutionary language. Well, of great difficulty for anybody else who's speaking it as a second language. Oh, Andrew. Well, thank you very much for coming on. The John Owen Ben Podcast. We were going to move on, but these calls and texts keep coming through for the most unusual gifts you've received. Great, TC4487. My husband, my ex-husband actually gave me a lawnmower uh when we were
Starting point is 00:32:10 together one of those gifts we're like is it who was that for yeah who's the gift for have you ever done one of those oh yeah yeah probably too too many times that was yeah the iron the iron i'm sorry the iron the uh the the iron, the frying pan. I haven't done it off. Have you ever gifted, because I know you're a big fan of Funko Pops. I haven't gifted one to Amanda.
Starting point is 00:32:33 No, I gave her a LeBron James singlet though. That's right. What do you want me to do with this? Well, she has worn in summertime. She will wear it from time to time. I don't know if it's her first choice of singlets
Starting point is 00:32:43 that she wears, but she will put it on from time to time. Because whenever you come back from a trip, you come back with all this sport merch, like US sports merchandise for your wife. Wanting to dress her like a frat boy. Yeah, something that she does wear from time to time. And a lot of it goes to the gym clothes.
Starting point is 00:33:00 Yeah, gym clothes, you're right, or just clothes for summertime, beach attire. Why isn't this in the top, you know, the top brass? Here it is. Claire's with us on 0800 The Hits. Claire, you received an unusual gift. Yes, indeed. I did receive something very uncomfortable.
Starting point is 00:33:18 What was it? Okay. Yes, well, at the time I was working for an insurance company and at the end of my tenure I was just basically having catch up with this guy who said look nothing it's just a casual catch up just to say thank you for all your work but and then which led to him coming up with this box box of like you know it was tired it was looking very fancy, and I'm like, oh, you don't have to because it is unprofessional and I can't accept it.
Starting point is 00:33:51 And he said, do not open it now, but do it when you get home. And when I opened it, it was a box of, like, toys, which was six toys, which was making me really, really uncomfortable. Well, you were more uncomfortable if you'd opened it at the time too. In the cafe. In a restaurant. I think that would have been really uncomfortable.
Starting point is 00:34:14 You're like, oh, okay. And so did you, obviously this was one of your clients. Yes. So, then he followed up. I think it was like sometimes in a few days or something, saying, hey, what did you think? And I said, well, I think it was really inappropriate.
Starting point is 00:34:31 And I would have to report this because I, you know, as I've mentioned to him like a few times that I had a partner, I had a boyfriend, and that was just like, this is borderline. I think it's gone beyond the borderline. Oh my goodness. And so, because he's probably like, hey, well, you haven't said thank you for the gift. What's the feedback on the present? I'm going to get a thank you.
Starting point is 00:34:56 That's for sure. Wow. There we go. Hilarious. But at the same time, when I think back, it's hilarious then. But yeah, it was just really uncomfortable. That was the day Ben was dropped as a client.
Starting point is 00:35:15 Oh, yeah. It's a bit awkward you're back together now, but how did you like it? Ask her. Ask her. I'm not getting involved in this. What do you do? Do you drop those off to soft plastics? Where do they go? Oh, I think I kept it because I was just like, I don't know what to do.
Starting point is 00:35:34 And then when I moved, I had to buff it. Because I was just like, this is just like something that is just, you know, you don't know how to react to something like that. No, you don't. I mean, he's like, oh, I don't know how to react to something like that. No, you don't. It's not intent. He's like, oh, I don't. Shoot your shot, bro.
Starting point is 00:35:48 Shoot your shot. Yeah, but not in that way. Not in that way. That's for sure. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. There was a school in Addington just in Canterbury that had their bell taken. It was stolen on the weekend.
Starting point is 00:36:02 It's been around for a long time, and we were worried about it. We actually spoke to the principal. Yeah, since the 1800s, this bell's been in the school and the principal of the school, Donna, joins us now. Morena! Morena, guys. How are you? Oh, we're doing all right.
Starting point is 00:36:15 Big news. The bell's back. The bell is back, baby. We're excited. We can hear the joy in your voice, Donna. I just can't believe it. What a great, I mean, yeah, because it was a couple of weeks ago we spoke to you. Someone had come to the school.
Starting point is 00:36:31 I spoke to you last week. It got taken on the 4th, and I spoke to you a week ago. All right. Your memory's better than mine, all right? We're just in the trenches in here, Donna, just saying stuff on the radio. So we spoke last week. We all remember it fondly. And the bell had been taken, and you put out a bit of a plea. And so how did you get it back?
Starting point is 00:36:48 I got a phone call at Kura yesterday to say that someone at a bronze foundry, a brass foundry locally had some scrap metal come in. And some of the guys there recognised the photo of the bell online and thought, hang on, that looks like the one that went missing. And they sussed it all out and then they rang up and I went round and I got it and it was ours. Oh, that is, and the bell's in full working order, is it? No, afraid not.
Starting point is 00:37:14 But, I mean, the main part is there and the history will stay and we'll get it fixed and I think we'll be bringing it in and out to special occasions, but we're going to get it all zhooshed up. Is it all polished? Get some Brasso on that sucker? So obviously... And at least a new clanger or clapper or whatever you call them. Oh, the new dinger, the donger.
Starting point is 00:37:34 What is that? It was the technical term. Don't go there. So it was right in 1881 that bells been around since. Yeah, they even tested it because it's made of something that bells were never made of You know, well they were made of that all those years ago So that was one of the other reasons they thought it must have been that one
Starting point is 00:37:53 So yep, 17 kgs What the bell is? Jeez, that's a lot of bell And they'd obviously sold it I think so Look, I just didn't ask too many questions I was just chuffed that it came back to us and that the place
Starting point is 00:38:06 that passed it on were just so happy to be able to bring it back to its rightful place and what good people there are out there you know there's a lot of
Starting point is 00:38:13 negative news in the world but it's great to hear a lovely story like this well that was the message for the kids so I drove up as close as I could to the playground yesterday
Starting point is 00:38:22 and then they were all there and we carried it in to cheers and applause and the faces that made it all worthwhile. Oh, that's awesome. Because the kids get to ring it, am I right in saying, at the end of the year? Yes, they do. So all those year sixes
Starting point is 00:38:34 will be able to ring that bell come December. Jeez, I tell you what, it was really a great reflection of the New Zealand news landscape as well, isn't it? I couldn't believe it. National news, a bell going missing. We're covering it. We're even doing a follow-up. But you're right though.
Starting point is 00:38:49 We're in the middle of winter. There's all stalks of doom and gloom and stuff. It's nice to have a last point. No more medals to give out. We'll just talk about the bell. Yeah, exactly. So do you want us to go on the hunt for a donger? Oh, that might be dangerous. You're right, actually. We can go on to donger on the hunt for a donger? Oh, that might be dangerous.
Starting point is 00:39:05 Yeah, you're right, actually. We can go on to donger duty if you need a donger. I'll do that myself. Okay, all right. We'll leave that in your hands. Lovely talking to you. I'm so glad the bell is back. Great news.
Starting point is 00:39:18 Okay, thanks, guys. Have an awesome day. you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you The hits the Jono and Ben podcast

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