Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL SHOW: How I'm fine doesn't really mean I'm fine...

Episode Date: May 15, 2024

ON THE SHOW TODAY Megan's officially young! Who has hot sauce in their mouth? We chat to the Harlem Globetrotters Is this a compliment? Woke up on the lawn... to mowing! Comedian Heath Franklin Is TV for only old people? Check us out! Facebook: The Hits Breakfast with Jono and Ben Instagram: TheHitsBreakfastSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Cheers to Dilma, making the world a better tea. Just hanging out with us this morning. Yesterday we brought you what happened to us when we were in town. When you were tormenting me in town, this was instant karma, which I just, it tickled me so much. Yeah, it was. It was karma in full effect and caught on camera as well,

which is the worst kind of karma. Yeah, we were bullying Megan because she's never worn merch, never buys merch in terms of, you know, band or Bunnings merch or anything like that. So we dressed her head. And I'm just looking today at our fashion choices. Ben, you've got a Mickey Mouse t-shirt on. I've got like a Taylor Swift t-shirt on. We're merching hard.

We're merching hard. You're doing nothing. Just plain and stylish. Thanks. And we sent you to town to walk into all the high-end fashion shops. We're Merchant Hard We're Merchant Hard You're doing nothing Just plain and stylish Thanks And we sent you to town To walk into all the high end fashion shops Louis Vuitton Gucci

Radiradira And export gold Merchandise A big Bunnings hat Horrendous You looked good You pulled it off Shut up

While that was going on We had someone approach us While we were filming Obviously a fan of the TV show When it was on And this is what happened Okay I've got to go see you mom but see love your work mate the what happened to you that really hit it that is the beauty what happened to you? The what happened to you is the beauty. What happened to you?

She was like, I've got to go. I've got stuff to do. So she just left us with that. So that was us yesterday coming to terms with that. And then, Megan, last night you went out. I went out, first of all, like I'm 20. I went out to a show. And at the door they were doing like full on security pat downs and everything.

And it was an R18 gig. As I got to the door, just had my bag on my shoulder and the guy puts his hand up and says, Wait, wait, wait. I need your ID. I was like, oh my God, babes. You've made my day. Showed him my ID and he's like, oh yeah, you're good. I was like, as I yeah, you're good.

I was like, as I approach 40. Can I ask, because it wasn't just protocol. Was it just like they just checked? No, because the couple behind us are seeing me get my ID. They pulled out their ID. And he was like, oh, no, you guys are all right. Head through. Oh, really?

You looked youthful. I was like, oh, my. Andrew's like, oh, thanks. How old do you think you are Looking wise If I was to pick Oh I don't know Don't put that on me I don't know how old you are I'd go

No don't Don't say anything I'd say 31 Oh my god Jonathan Richard Would you say 31 Yeah A bit more convincing, Ben.

See, I don't want to play this game. There's no winners in a game like this. There's no winners. The problem is you just go low. Definitely not 18, though. It was like, yeah, I don't know. He made my night, though. And Andrew was like, oh, he may have made your night,

but he's ruined mine because I'm going to hear about this all night. Was Andrew old enough to be let in or not? He got ID'd too. Did he? Yeah, well, he's baby faced. He always says it's just because you're with me, I'm bringing your age down. I'm like, pfft. It does make you feel like a million bucks though, doesn't it?

Oh, so good. Then they look at it and they go, oh, I couldn't be more wrong. Yeah, he was like, no, you're right. Twice over, you're okay. I love it because at Pack and Save, every time you buy alcohol, they was like, no, you're right. Twice over, you're okay. I love it because at Pack and Save, every time you buy alcohol, they have to do the

you know, they push the buzzer at the counter. It's purely just protocol. They just need to check your ID every time. But sometimes they just come

and they're like, yeah, you're fine. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. All week I've been saying the weather was... Can I just say, I love how we're still

committing to the waking up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy. How does P. Diddy feel in the morning nowadays? Oh, hard to know. Stressed. Bit of stress. Anxious.

Yeah, like he's probably paying lawyers a lot of money, I imagine. The Fed's coming today. Yeah, well, true. We are. I guess it's part of the song, right? It is, yeah. I don't want to wake up feeling stressed and anxious. No, you don't.

The Fed's are going to knock on my door. I noticed that Macklemore, when I saw him live the other night, he's changed a couple of heads. There's an R. Kelly line in one of his wake-up, spelling out R. Kelly sheets. He's taken that out of the song. Just update them. Yeah.

I guess you can do that live, but it's probably hard for Casher to go back and re-record everything. Yeah. And then again. So, yeah, yesterday, though, I said all week the weather was going to get better on Wednesday. And, I mean, it did get slightly warmer. But then I read this morning, 1,800 lightning strikes in the North Island at 3 p.m. yesterday.

1,800, that's a lot. Where are you getting your weather information from? I think we just take a stab at the weather, don't we? Generally. Sometimes. Yeah. But it does amaze me sometimes when they're right. Well, not that they're right, but they can predict stuff going, you know,

like it'll be a beautiful day and then you read, oh, it's going to rain later. And it does. And you're like, they just, you know. Wow, they nailed it. Yeah. But it's also, I think they lay a lot of blame on the weather presenter. You know, when you speak to, well, Matty McLean, who hosts the afternoon show here on The Hits Now,

used to present weather on TV. Yeah. And he was like, people would hold you responsible for the weather in public. Also, I think he still gets asked what the weather's going to do today. And he's like, well, I don't know. I don't do that anymore. I gave up the weather game. You're right, though.

They're just the spokesperson for the weather. They can't say, it's going to be great if it's not going to be great. Yeah, but they're taking all the hit for the weather's terrible know terrible actions as well yeah the ultimate fix-it person the weather reporter uh but you know thank you ben boys for uh your wonderful weather updates well i just i just take him to be honest i just take him from the end you know someone some other website new zealand herald or whatever will say something i'm like great i can i can you know i'm just passing on relay that i'm the messenger you know they say don't'm the messenger What do you think is your ultimate weather? You've got to pick one

If you could have the perfect day Are you going sun all day? Sunny But not too hot and not too humid So you're sitting around about 23, 24 That sounds nice That's probably quite nice isn't it? What about you?

I'm going to go a little rain at night. I don't want a bit of rain overnight. When you're inside at night. Sleeping and it's raining. True. You don't have to go out anywhere. Rain is like, oh, it's nice. So you want it to be summer during the day and winter at night.

Just the ultimate combo. Okay. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. We've got some Fiji Fire hot sauce in the studio right now. I'll enter the hits if you want to win some. We're going to play a little game. This was used on that YouTube show Hot Ones. Very popular show where they get all sorts of, like, the world's biggest stars,

movie stars, singers, whatever, and they basically interview them while consuming hot sauce on chicken, don't they? Yeah. Yeah. And it gets hotter and hotter as they go, and it's almost like a little challenge. What I admire about that is the guy that interviews them. Rock solid.

He does it all the time. You know, you do it once. We've done chilli eating competitions before. It really affects you. He's got the stomach of a bloody Russian bear, that man. And he just keeps going. Go back. I mean, in the long run, I can't be going for him.

Does it get easier though? Maybe. You'd imagine it would burn the incisors off from your stomach. Like the lining of your stomach. We did chilli eating in a competition and they said, a lot of people were like just get rid of it if you can afterwards. Not out through the

mouth, just try and vomit it out. Because otherwise when it goes past us through the other side it'll hurt. They're like you need to vomit as soon as you can yeah if you can clear it out that way otherwise yeah so that was their advice yeah and those people are really committed they'll eat like the world's hottest to the point where they pass out yeah that's why that's how committed they are just why why i'm sorry i don't have the same level of commitment all we're doing right now what we're going to do is we're each going to take, well, we're going to pretend we're, two of us are going to pretend we're taking a sip of the hot sauce,

the Fiji Fire, and one of us is actually going to do it, and you need to work out which one has actually taken the hot sauce. Okay, 0800 is the telephone number. Call up now live. We're going to do this now. Okay, so how's the format going to work here? Are we going to do 3, two, one all at once? Otherwise it'd be quite a mess.

Why don't you pretend or actually take it, Megan? Shall I go first? You go first. I'll 800 the hits if you want the Fiji fire hot sauce. Okay. Megan, having a sip. How is it? It's spicy.

It is spicy. It's Spicy It is spicy It looks well It's a slow Does it feel like there's a campfire burning in your mouth? Why did we not get water? Can I have a drink of your water? Is this a great performance from Megan? Or is she actually taking the hot sauce?

Describe the taste No, it's quite tasty, but the burn, like, builds. Alright, we'll get Cody on. Cody, welcome. Fiji Fire hot sauce could be all yours. So Megan's done hers. Ben?

Alright, I'm going to take a sip now. It's spicy food. Oh, jeez. Describe the pain. I mean, as you say, it's nice, but really, it's got some kick. It's making my nose right now. Okay. Does it feel like there's a fire dragon blowing into your mouth? Yeah, I feel like I'm walking over hot coals in Fiji.

Cody, who do you think's had the hot sauce so far? So far, I think Ben's probably the more likely one. Okay, all right. Now it's my turn. Eliminate Megan from it. Okay, and now Jono. It's an overact

It's always making it about him isn't it Megan Oh dear god Okay You want to just describe the taste for us Oh god Is he overacting Or is he actually taking some Those 26 years of mouth skin burnt off

Cody who's Who had the hot sauce It's down my throat I'm still gonna I'm still gonna have to go with bean It's getting burned off. Cody, who's in the hot sauce? It's down my throat. I'm still going to have to go with Ben. Mate, it's me. And I am in a world of pain. We're like an overact, but you took a big old slug of that. It did take a lot there.

We're going to send you out some hot sauce anyway, Cody. Which makes that whole thing pointless, what you just did, John. Oh, dear God. So Fiji Fire coming your way. We're going to send you out some hot sauce anyway, Cody, which makes that whole thing pointless, what you just did, Jono. Oh, dear God. Some Fiji fire coming your way. We appreciate it and we'll give you some hell pizza as well on this Thursday morning. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Yesterday I was speaking

about how I tried to keep up to date with some of the terms my kids are using. What was the bum one? Get. Yeah, which means nice juicy dairy air, doesn't it? I think it's a big booty yeah so i was getting it wrong i keep saying things wrong and i keep trying to say things as well oh that's so mid and they're like wrong context things like that you know how are you misusing get and what and what i keep saying get which was bum i'm saying my get i keep using it talking about my own get my daughter's like please stop you're talking about you've got... You've got a very bony...

I haven't got a big booty. Whatever the opposite of gat is, it's your buttocks. But yesterday I had a moment where I thought maybe I'd pulled some cred back with my daughter. Maybe she was impressed by something because you're all part of... Yesterday we were filming something for a hits commercial, right? And we were off doing that and she was like,

oh, what were you doing today? Because I was later home and that. And I was like, oh, we're filming a hits commercial right and we're off doing that and she was like oh what were you doing today because you know i was later home and and that and i was like oh we're filming a hits commercial um we're sitting on our gats yes and i was like where's that guy i said oh you know probably go on tv she's oh that's cool and that's where the conversation would have been nice to stop you know that's cool i'm like great felt good about it and then she carried on she was like oh that's cool you know it's gone tv she's like heaps of old people will see it that's what she said and i was like yeah i'm like you're probably right yeah that's she's fixed there's speed facts yeah lots of old people they're keeping linear alive well that's right and to be fair i couldn't remember the last

time my kids have ever turned on the tv you you know, and watched something like 3D. The first time they ever did that and watched that years ago, we were watching a movie. And I remember Sienna turning to me and going, what happened to the movie? As soon as it went to the commercials, like, where'd it go? You're like, oh, no, now, darling, we politely sit through four minutes of things being told that we need to buy. Exactly. No one asks any questions.

Sometimes the boomers mute this part. Very confusing. Go and get a cup of tea. You're like, well, I was just watching a movie. I was enjoying that. And all of a sudden, it's buy. Exactly. No one asks any questions. Sometimes the boomers mute this part. Very confusing. Go and get a cup of tea. Like, well, I was just watching a movie. I was enjoying that, and all of a sudden it's gone. Yeah. It's like, it'll be back. The perception of age is always a funny thing, too.

Like, she thinks over 40 is, she thinks that old, that's old. And we're like Biden. We're like, he's old. So how does Biden look to Sienna? Yeah, I know. He looks like someone who's going to see a hits commercial. That's what he looks like On the talent

The Hits The Jono and Ben podcast Liam who works here At The Hits with us Joins us right now Good morning Hello hello Thanks for your help

Over the last couple of days It's been great having you around It's been great to be here We've learned a little Bit of stuff about you Namely that You lived in a tent For 12 months

Dedication to Getting into radio Which is incredible Yeah look Came out of broadcasting school Offered a couple of jobs Took the one on air tent for 12 months. Dedication to getting into radio, which is incredible. Yeah, look, came out of broadcasting school, offered a couple of jobs, took the one on air, but went to the small town. No one had a rental. It's an aging population. So no one really rents out their houses. And I was like, well, I really want to get into this job. Looked at all options, hotels too expensive, trying to hop into an Airbnb too expensive. So it got down to the point where I was like,

I'm going to hop into a tent at a campground. I thought, like, taking this option of living in a tent, I was like, I'm going to be balling. Like, you only get about $300 per week on this internship. And then I was like, sweet, what, $2 a night? I remember when you used to go to, like, dot campsites and you'd drop a gold coin in. I get there and the lady's like,

you would have been able to see it on our website, it's 200 a week 200 a week that's that's like a room in a house i guess because what power and you like you use the bathrooms and showers and stuff like that right you get the power don't get a shower you've got to put a gold coin into the shower you don't get wi-fi i was paying like 30 bucks a week for the wifi So you lived in this through the winter months July, August Yeah, so it started great I arrived in like December We had that peak summer period

There were heaps of people at the campground It was warm It was when it got to like May, June, July, August It got very, very cold So you're just in a tent Did you lock the tent up? Because all your belongings are in there Nah, again, small rural town.

No one's there. Listen, you were painting an incredibly bleak picture of a year for you. Was it tough? I think I was like living for it in the moment. But look back and go like, what were you doing? Like I did regularly get sick. Yeah, I was just wondering that because it got cold. It got cold.

But I was so in denial because I was like, i want to make it in radio that i just like was putting everything aside but looking back now yeah got really sick a lot lived off eating off a barbecue like it was just weird you know did you spend a lot of time in other places like would you hang out at work longer because you're like i've got to go back to the tent you know well well the tent flooded big flood that came through and i ended up sleeping under the studio desk for about two weeks while everything dried out so wow that is that's a commitment to this industry that i don't think uh either of us would ever show i mean i wanted to get into radio but that's that's an extra step that's yeah yeah radio is a dying industry ai is gonna be laughing at me in like five years time this guy lived in a tent for a year

but no good on you man I tell you what if you've got commitment like that you definitely will make it in the industry what was the bleakest time I brought my girlfriend up and I didn't tell her that we were living in a tent

so she thought I was in a house and then two weeks later we were living in a tent. Oh, you didn't? You surprised her. So she thought I was in a house. Romantic, like a glamping sort of situation? And then two weeks later, we were single. And I think potentially that was the bleakest time of like, she was so disappointed. Yeah, and so she stayed in the tent with you? Very unhappily. She was not impressed.

It does, like, to be fair to her, it does feel like information you could have passed on before you. She said she didn't know. I reckon she did, but yes, she won. Oh, mate, well, good on you. Good on you. That's on before you. She said she didn't know. I reckon she did, but yes, she won. Oh, mate. Well, good on you. That's an incredible story.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Everybody slept at the most unusual place after Liam. Living in a tent, that's a real commitment to radio, living in a tent for 12 months. When you think about it, a tent's just an incredibly flimsy house, isn't it? But two days of camping frightens me. Yeah, crazy stuff

I mean I've slept in the car many times I've even got a car blanket I uh it's just a very an old man thing to do isn't it

to have a car sleep in the car while driving on the motorway just sleep in the car everywhere very sleepy condition do you oh nothing

that can beat this wasn't there someone at your radio school slept on the roof yeah someone did they got kicked out of their flat with two weeks to go on the course and then they ended up climbing up between the roof.

You know how you can sometimes move the panels? The tiles, yeah. And they slept up there. They had a great little set up until they got busted by the broadcasting school. They kind of bragged about it though. That was their downfall. Look where I'm moving.

Never brag. Never brag. I've slept in a radio studio a few times actually. On the floor of a lot of people. A lot of people have done far worse things inside a radio studio as well than sleeping.

Danny, you're on from Matamata. How are you this morning? Hi, I'm good. You slept where? I slept in the Paitua aeroplane. As you drive into Paiatua, there's a big, like, big wall at sea. Yeah, it's like an old plane that's there,

and you can kind of go, you know how the topo, they've got one for it. Yeah, it used to be a slide, but they took it down because it was too dangerous. But when I was a kid, I slept in there for a full entire night. Oh, wow. I watched everything, it was really cool, and it was a kid, I slept in there for a full entire night. Oh, wow. I watched everything. It was really cool.

And it was a nice rainy night too. But yeah, I slept up there for the whole night. Oh, nice. Wow. As a kid. Yeah. I know that playground. It's a lovely playground in the middle of town.

I used to stop there in the family. Yeah. But I never slept the night in the plane. No, no. I wouldn't recommend it. It's not that warm. No, it doesn't sound it. No, no.

Tara, you're on. Welcome. How are you? Where did you sleep, Tara? Oh, it's not that warm. No, it doesn't sound it. No, Tara, you're on. Welcome. How are you? Where did you sleep, Tara? Oh, it's Cara. Oh, Cara. Close. Apologies, Cara.

No worries. Not me. A friend of mine, she had a big night, and she fell asleep on someone's front lawn, and she woke up to the sound of his lawnmower going and she got up like she got up mortified and then realized that there was a body-shaped bit of grass left where she'd been sleeping oh so he mowed around her yeah he mowed all the way around her wow hell she she's really passed out wasn't she if you can mow around her wow I know, and it wasn't like you mow your lawn at six in the morning or anything.

I think it must have been like 11 o'clock or something. Very committed to mowing his lawn as well. I was definitely trying to get her off the lawn. It was a mistake. No, he thought it was quite hilarious. She slunk away a little embarrassed. We had a friend, didn't he, passed out. I somehow ended up in the wrong hotel room.

Yeah. Fell asleep on the couch, and he woke up to kids going, Daddy, who's the weird man on the couch? And the dad was just like, just let him sleep. Let him sleep. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. 1,100 lightning strikes recorded yesterday at 3 p.m. in the North Island. Severe weather around yesterday when I said things were going to get better.

That's alright. It's almost like the weather's working against you just to prove a point, isn't it? You can't tell me what to do the weather's saying. Am I the only one in this room who, when you put an address into Google Maps and it says the arrival time prediction, you're like, I can

beat that. Yeah, every time. I do that all the time we'll see google yeah i'm like challenge accepted and yes and you almost go breakneck speeds dotting down other side streets that google maps hasn't hasn't offered up just to shave off and then i arrived there and it said we're gonna get there at 9 39 a.m now i got there at 9 38 and i. Now, I got there at 9.38am and I'm like, yes! I showed you, AI. You may have got a speeding ticket along the way. But it does adjust though, right? As you go.

Like, as you go. It doesn't just go, that's your time. No, yeah. You have to go off the original time. That's saying, okay, I'm leaving the destination now, this is the time that I need to be. That's why it said when I first started. Yeah. Like you say, I feel like I'm going to be paying the time that I need to be that's why I said when I first started and then yeah I feel like you say

I feel like I'm going to be paying the price for that when the ticket arrives in the mail but the main thing is I shaved a minute off their estimated time it drops down a minute

and then you get a red light and you're like oh don't do that you're racing against Google I'm on a race against something that no one else

is involved in right now I don't actually have to be there at that time maybe those are the next movies that they do like Vin Diesel's trying to you know Fast and Furious yeah yeah I'm on a race against something that no one else is involved in right now. I don't actually have to be there at that time. Maybe there's the next movies that they do, like Vin Diesel's trying to, you know. Fast and Furious, yeah, yeah. There it goes. I'm going to be there a quarter to ten.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to Femme Glish. Femme Glish, where Ben and I, we try and decipher the female language. Very complex, multi-layered female language. Last week we got to the bottom of, what was it last week? I can't even remember. Can you remember?

It was only seven days ago. Why can none of us remember? It was a good one too. It was interesting, wasn't it? Oh, but Noah's ordering at restaurants, wasn't it? No, that's right. And it's like, should you order extra?

Oh, I don't want anything. Why do you say you don't want anything and then you eat all of ours? Because I don't want to commit to a meal, so you should just? Oh, I don't want anything. Yeah. Why do you say you don't want anything and then you eat all of ours? Because I don't want to commit to a meal, so you should just order some so I can pick it up. Yeah, because then you said it didn't feel like you had ordered a meal or eaten if you haven't actually placed an order. The calories don't count. That's the psychology behind it. Now, today, this is an age-old one where sometimes from time to time, we might feel tensions are bubbling and we go is everything okay uh you

know pretty straightforward question yeah and then all we get back is i'm fine we know you're not fine no but what what do we do with that information yeah so you've said you're fine which is the opposite of what you're clearly feeling or experiencing i'm just gonna answer like what it means for me. So I'm fine means no, I'm not fine, which you've got in. That's good. Why don't you just say no, I'm not fine? Because usually if I'm saying I'm fine,

that means you should know what you've done. Spot on. But I've done a hundred bloody things. I'm not telling you you should know. Something's happened in the recent past that you've done, but I'm not telling you. If you can't figure it out, that's your problem. So it's definitely on us, whatever the teacher.

Okay, it's not something else that's happening at work. We would say, no, I'm okay. That's like, you're okay. I'm fine means I'm pissed at you and you should know what you've done. Why us knowing what we've done? Why does that help the situation? Because then you can apologize for directly what it is.

Why don't you just say, no, I'm not fine. This is what you did to annoy me. Or this is what you did wrong. Then you can go, oh, yeah, you're right. It feels like there's just a mix-up in comms here. If you're pretty straightforward with what emotions you were dealing with, we'd go, okay, great. We apologise.

We move on. You know what emotions we're dealing with because you have got that I'm not fine you've got that much producer taylor you're agreeing nodding yeah you shouldn't have to explain yourself honestly it's common sense think back to 10 five minutes ago and what you might have said and what triggered it and then fix it you should know i don't i'm not gonna sit here and tell you how to behave you're a grown-up if you if you've done something wrong you should know but also yeah okay get it but You're a grown-up. If you've done something wrong, you should know. Yeah, okay, get it. But also, as a grown-up, someone says, how are you? And you say, I'm fine.

You should say what you mean. Well, you said five minutes ago really rattled me. Yeah, exactly. I mean, sure. Would that be an easier way to approach that for everyone? I feel like that's what a therapist would say, but you know. Because there's so much suspense when you say you're fine. Because we know it's like a ticking bomb.

It's going to go off at some point. I'm fine. No, I'm not. Silent treatment until you figure it out. Yes. Yeah, right. Can we ride out that silent treatment or is that going to continue on? No.

Because if you ride it out and nothing gets resolved, I'll bank it. I will bank it for next time. I'm fine. Right. So, okay. How long? This is just me. Am I speaking for like-

I think everyone's probably different though, aren't they, slightly? Or it's all the same? Yeah, I'm preaching to what you're saying. It's pretty spot on for my- And producer Grace is nodding. Okay. So just the time between you saying you're fine and then we go away and we're like, Jesus, it's not good.

Silent treatment's being initiated. How long is that period before we need to come back with a solution? You should come back straight away. Touch on quick, man. So if you genuinely don't know what you've done, maybe you could try being like, hey, so I've obviously upset you

in some way. That's us saying, how are you? That's waving the white flag being like i surrender but maybe you could help me out it's very complex i'm more confused than when we came into this the hits the jonah and ben podcast he's frantically gone into the other studio to try and load in this is how we do it what so it's someone singing this song in karaoke yeah it was has become famous on the internet singing one tell jordan this is how we do it it's absolute banger and he is gorgeous he's gorgeous he's got his hair slipped back he's i don't know why he's in some in front of some

weird sort of 80s green screen have a listen to his rendition you're an og mac or i wanna be player see the hood's been good to me. Ever since I was a lowercase g, but now I'm the big G. The girls see I've got the money. $100 bills. $100 bills. That sounds like me if I was doing it. Ever since I was a bad g. Yeah, white dude too, right?

Yeah, white guy. Yeah, yeah. It looks like he's at a conference. Yeah. A white guy at a conference. It does look like he's had a few too many drinks at the conference, and then the next day they were like oh god Did you see Gary last night

Gary slinks in Talking about how he's a lowercase g Ever since $100 bills though Was it million dollar bills Just scale it back a little bit Maybe he's an accountant Millions a bit too much but $100 bills

Does hit different When all your white guys Sing da da da The hits The Jono and Ben podcast Wham and Hot Rod From the Harlem Glow Chod It's lovely to have you guys

In the studio Thank you for having us I appreciate it Firstly can I say Badass nicknames Wham and Hot Rod I'd love Can we be called

Wham and Hot Rod No It'd be a better radio show In the mornings wouldn't it What could you be called Megan could we be called Lightning or something Hot Rock? No. It'd be a better radio show in the mornings, wouldn't it? Well, could you be called, Megan, could we be called Lightning or something? Oh, yeah. How do you get the names?

Well, they give them to you. What the Harlem Globetrotters do? Yeah, the Harlem Globetrotters give you the nickname. Oh, really? And they gave it to me because, you know, I'm so fast on the court. I dribble right past you, all you hear is, Wham. And so is there a nickname? Is there like someone who, that's their job?

They're the nickname person. They look at your performance and they're like, we'll call him Wham. It's probably chat GPT now, isn't it? Yeah. Nickname generator. And how'd you get yours, Hot Rod? On the court, I'm built like a muscle car.

American mean. Vroom, vroom. Vroom, vroom. Now this is, of course, our radio right now. So we need to describe Hot Rod. You're tall. Now basketball players are often tall but how tall? 7'1"?

7'1". That's what the doctor said. Right. I was like, you sure about that? And he was like, yeah. That's without the shoes too. When did you know in your life where you're like, shit, I'm going to be tall? What age was that?

I wasn't always. Like it was gradually. When he was young and he told his parents that he wanted to be a basketball player at this time his mom said why do you think you could do that you're too small really this was like when i was like nine years old my mom was like you're too small joe you're not gonna be so you're just the size of normal kids yeah then by the land I started growing I was like 13 years old 6 6 14 years old 6 7 then 15 16 6 9 6 10 you're like this isn't gonna stop yeah it's not it ain't stopping it's like going gradually so I was like you know what I

look at myself I'm like where is this gonna end at because the Harlem Globetrotters inspired you yeah yeah yeah quick story quick story about myself it It better be quick. You're quick. You're about big quick, aren't you? When I was nine years old, the Harlem Globetrotters came to my school on the 108th Street in the Bronx, New York City. And they was doing all these tricks that me and Wham go out there and do. And that day, I had to tell somebody.

I told my mom, my dad. And they said, I was inspired to play the game of basketball. From there, I went on and, you know, played overseas. And then I get the phone call, hey, would you want to be a Harlem Globetrotter? I thought about that very first moment when I was nine years old. That's amazing. And they inspired me to play the game of basketball. That is amazing.

Come full circle. The Globetrotters came to your school, but you want to know something crazy? What? The Globetrotters are coming to New Zealand. Oh, I know. Five shows across in July. So if anyone hasn't seen the Globetrotters before, I mean, there's a lot of fun.

Like, you guys do some amazing things out there on the court. Yes, the Globetrotters is filled with some of the best basketball players in the world, some of the best shooters, long-distance shots, trick shots, some of the highest-flying dunkers. Like, when you come to a game, you never know where you're going to get you. We might bring you out on the court to do something. Oh, dear God, please don't do that. That's my worst nightmare. So, Wham, you've got eight world records. Whoa, whoa, whoa. know what you're gonna get you we might bring you out on the court to do something you know

so you've got eight world records whoa whoa whoa whoa he got that wrong yeah he got it let me wait you got nine world records I'm like 10 years behind. It's all good. It's all good. That's pretty incredible. Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate it. What are they? I have most dribbles in a minute. Most dribbles between my legs in a minute. Most dribbles figure eight blindfolded in a minute. Most underhand shots from half court in a minute. Furthest hook shot. Furthest behind the back shot. Furthest behind the back alley-oop.

Most three-pointers in a minute by a pair. Fastest time to dribble the ball the full length of the court. And I ain't gonna lie, I feel like I'm missing one. But, you know. You've got eight. I'm happy with eight but you obviously wanted nine does the NBA ever come knocking because surely they see the Globetrotters and they're like well why don't we just get in playing you know that that would have been a dope path for me but I feel like I'm exactly where I need to be because the Harlem Globetrotters are ambassadors of good will we get to travel all around the world, play basketball, and basketball is a language itself.

Everybody understands it. And, you know, when you come to our game, we know that you might be having personal problems going on in your life. But when you come here, we're going to leave you with happiness. You're going to be smiling and you're going to have fun. And we're going to make lifelong memories with you guys. It's awesome to have you guys in the country. Are you cousins with Chris Tucker? Yes, I am.

Really? Yeah. Do you get him free Tucker? Yes, I am. Really? Yeah. Do you get him free tickets? Are you going to pay for his tickets, Cardi? No, no. He gets free tickets and I get free tickets when I go to his show. Oh, that's incredible.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. In Dublin and New York, they've had this portal. It's almost like a live video call between the two cities. I saw this. So you can see people in New York. People can see people in Dublin and vice versa.

And they can kind of interact. It's now had to be temporarily shut down because people. Dangerous. Ruined it. You can't trust Mundus. With nudity. Body parts, inappropriate pictures, you name it. But it wasn't a dude.

It was a girl, wasn't it? She was an OnlyFans girl as well. But then there's been lots of like pants being pulled down all sorts they're like guys this is not what we designed the portal for Why is the first thing

we think of as a species when some technology like this becomes available is how can I get my genitals out on it? I know and that's what they've done and they're like

well I had to shut it down temporarily so we'll see if it does bring a smile to all your faces though so that's why we do it Yesterday I actually I thought I got two compliments. So I said earlier I went to a show last night and I got ID'd for an R18 show.

Cute. You've been pretty light on details around the situation. You had Andrew with you. Yeah, there was the two of us. It was a line-up to get into the show. I mean, he brings in your average age by quite a lot, doesn't he, between the two. Shut up. That's what he says.

But they were doing quite hard at security. They were frisking people and waving the wand and stuff. And yeah, they were like, no, you can't come in. You need ID. I was like, oh my God, babes. What was his reaction when he read the date? He was like, oh, you're good. Now, this was hot off the heels of us yesterday

getting a savage burn out and about. Have we still got that around? I don't know why I keep playing this, but this is in town for us yesterday as well. See you, Mum, Bessie. Love your work, mate. Wait, we're trying to start your band, eh? Yeah.

Hey! You look old now. What did you just say? You look old now. What happened to you? What happened to you? Yeah. The what happened to you is the really.

What happened to you? She needs her own show. Yeah, life happened. Actually, she's walking up. She's like, you guys must have kids or something. Yeah, so that was happening. So what was the compliment that you're questioning now? So the other one was I went went into a store i won't

name them just in case it's not a compliment but i was in a hurry and so i honed into the store i just wanted to buy a beanie and i walked in and they were i was the only one in the shop and they came over and they're like hey you're good and i was like yeah yeah i'm just looking for a hat and afterwards when i bought the hat at the counter All three of them were like We thought you were here for a job interview I was like wait what And they said well it's just the way you strode in

You were like dressed nice Real confident like you own the place And like you were trying to be like And I was like oh no That's a compliment Like you own the place Like you own the place? Like you own the place. Oh, was that the bit that's sitting up there?

Being there for a job and you're looking good, that saying tick, tick sounds like a compliment. Like you own the place. Yeah. Sounds like arrogance. Yeah. I feel like they were like, oh, who's this chick? Is that what you're getting out of a bed?

Well, I can see how you could perceive it. I don't know if it was intended that way. They could have stopped it like, dress nice, super confident. But it was purely because I was in a hurry. I was like, right, get in, get it, get out. Super confident or arrogant. Those are the two options. Like you bloody own the place.

They were like, who's this chick? That's how I'm taking it. I'm going to pick compliments. I'm going to pick compliments. Producer Grace is shaking her head You've worked in retail before Producer Grace Do you guys give backhanded compliments in retail? Yeah, not to their face

But that doesn't sound like If you said that to someone who's coming into your store Like you own the place Yeah, I wouldn't mean it in a good way Now the question too While you're here representing the retail sector store like you own the place yeah i don't i wouldn't mean it in a good way do you now the question too while you're here on the you know representing the retail sector do you ever say something looks great on someone when it doesn't i wouldn't do that i would give other options but there are people out there who do it but what about if someone walks into the store just wearing

their own clothes and you're like i love your your skirt or something. That's genuine. I wouldn't say it. Is it? It's too much effort to say it. Grace is lovely. Yeah, she's genuine. I'm a nice person. Yeah, exactly. It's genuine from you. I just don't know if it's genuine from you.

Not like you, Megan, waltzing on here like you own the place. Every morning, every morning, I was like, all right. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. Franklin is Chopper. He's back again and he's got a, well, he's back and playing right around the country and the show's called Not Here to F Spiders, is the name of the show.

Good morning, Chopper. Yes, g'day, how's it going? Who has ever turned up and gone, I'm here to do that to spiders? That's what I've always wondered. I heard some of the other day say, I'm not here to put socks on centipedes. It's nice, isn't it?

But it doesn't quite have the same punch, you know. But I feel like, as Jono said, there was obviously someone around trying to fornicate with spiders for them to go, well, hang on, we need to clarify whether you're here for that business or not. Yeah, yeah, there must have been some sort of arachnophile conference somewhere, a bunch of nerds with spiders in glass, and then, you know, everyone went to lunch and one guy stayed behind.

They were like, oh, let's give some rules and guidelines. We're all here for that, aren't we? No, we're not. I also feel like fornicate just wouldn't work for Chopper either. We're not here to fornicate with spiders. No, that's true. That's true. But Australia, you have some big spiders too,

so I imagine that they might be making love to you. Oh, yeah. If you're not careful, in certain places in Australia, you definitely sleep on your back. How has Chopper been? I mean, we haven't spoken to you definitely sleep on your back. How has Chopper been? I mean, we haven't spoken to you in a number of years. Well, yeah, that's been a while, but I've got a hobby.

What's the hobby? You know those little Warhammer figures that people paint? Yeah, like the little miniature things. I'd find people who did that and I'd bash them. That's your hobby. It feels like a very unusual thing when you first started. I was like, really? He's got to do that.

Because the show is going to be, you'll be touring right around New Zealand. You've been here many times before. 14 stops around the country. Let's, okay, name and shame. Let's go best or worst place. You can go good or bad in New Zealand that you like to play at. Oh, you're going to make me, this is what I think, you're going to make me make a massive hit in ticket sales.

So say your best then, say your best, you can go best and let's leave out the worst. I love all the things that Chopper has said and done throughout his life and his career, the one thing he is terrified of is hurting ticket sales. Fair enough, fair enough. Oh no, I'll go best and worst. Christchurch has always been good to me. And one

place that unfortunately I have left off the tour this year is Oamaru. So I'm going to have to get my steampunk fix somewhere else. I'm going to have to get my steampunk fix somewhere else. I'm going to have to get my steampunk fix somewhere else. Chopper, you're back and you're talking about things that have upset you over the last few years,

stupid things that people are doing. What are we doing? What's upsetting you? Oh, look, here's a quick list. E-scooters, vaping, Uber Eats, zero alcohol, alcohol. There's so much that we're up to where it's like, geez, we must be in trouble as a species, surely. Yeah, I mean, what's your take on TikTok, Chopper?

It's funny. Someone was like, oh, you're going to go on TikTok? I'm like, no, that's just bloody where the kids are, you know what I mean? Me being on TikTok would be like me being, just parking my car next to a playground and hanging out there. I'll tell you what, it's international waters. Holy moly.

It's a lawless society. It's never been on TikTok. I mean, it's the perfect platform for Chopper. Oh, yeah, I bloody love it. I'm right at home there. And then now that there's a chance that there'll be no Americans on it, I'm like, that's the best platform of all time. And how do you feel about AI?

I still don't know how to feel about it. I mean, you know, it's lovely to have a computer-generated image where, you know, there's a sexy lady with seven fingers on one hand and none on the other. You know, she's got two smiles or whatever. So, yeah, it's got a bit of work to do. Got a job with us. He's here for the International Comedy Festival.

Australia, you've been, ironically, a country founded on criminals, has been kicking out our criminals over the last three years, Chopper. Well, it's a little bit like the Americans and TikTok. This is clearly rotting our children's brains, but it's not American-owned. So, you know, we're the same way. We're like, come on, we've got to stick up for our own criminals. We have the Kiwi ones. Can't have good Kiwi

criminals coming over here and doing our crime. Come over here and bashing my Warhammer nerds for that. That's your job, that's right. Oh, we can't wait to have you back in New Zealand. 14 stops around the country, as I said before, from Whangarei in the north right to the south as well. Be great to have you back in New Zealand, Chopper.

Yeah, can't wait. Looking forward to getting to everywhere except for the Omuru.