Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL SHOW: Is This A Backhanded Compliment?

Episode Date: November 20, 2024

ON THE SHOW TODAY: The boys react to the producers mocking them... We confront boss Mando over the Mariah drama! The boys get booed... We think they deserve it We've all pretended not to see someone... Insane family secrets! My grandma thought my dad was dead the his whole life! Bride caught her hubby with her maid of honour! Farmer call in and explains how he inseminates 10,000 cows... Facebook: The Hits Breakfast with Jono and Ben Instagram: THEHITSBREAKFASTSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Cheers to Dilma, making the world a better tea. Welcome to the podcast on a Thursday. We didn't do an intro for the podcast yesterday because we had to rush off to the Weet-Bix kids' triathlon. Apologies to the podcast audience too. We know you would have been heartbroken. I know. You would have just, what is this?

What is this I'm listening to? Even though I've selected it on wherever I get my podcasts. But anyway, very confusing start. I get it. That's on us very confusing start. I get it. That's on us. It's one of those days. But apparently we've just heard that there was an intro provided by lovely producers. Grace, Ellie, they came on and they did an intro.

And I think they mocked us, apparently. Did you mock us, Ellie? No. Okay, we'll take you back to this podcast intro 24 hours earlier. Hello, welcome to the podcast. Hello, hello. Oh, my name's Ben. Is that you over there, Jono?

It's me, Jono. Now, hello. These are unfamiliar voices to you probably. You didn't commit to the role. I know. No, no, no, hello. I really backed out quite quickly. You do the same thing that I do because I'm no good at impressions,

so you have to say the person It's me Jono You know It's Ben You have to say the names That people go Oh that's who they're trying to be No there's no Megan impersonation No no

No see we don't We don't ever mock Megan But I thought they were quite accurate Impersonations Were they not I thought they were great Thanks Megan All the time Jono comes in

And he's like It's me Jono I feel like Ben has been hello, hello, hello. Oh, yeah, probably. Yeah, that sounded a lot like me, to be honest. Bang up impersonations. Well done. Chameleon of voices.

Yeah, very good. Well, yeah, here we go. What's the real us, or is it? Yeah, it's me, Jono. Who said that? We'll never know, but enjoy the podcast. Now, the Mariah Carey game that we've been playing, you've been playing along with us,

so many people texting and calling about it. It's simple to play. You can start now. That's fine. Just try and avoid for as long as possible hearing Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas as soon as you hear it in a shop, in a store, at the gym, supermarket, social media,

wherever you're out of the game. Now, high drama has hit the game Over the last 48 hours Where the hits They are a proud partner of the Santa Parade We all go on there We smile and wave Kiss babies

And we stand on a float Now every year the float's got a song It plays on loop Drives you to the point of insanity And previously it has been all I want for Christmas Yeah I've had that one Yeah haven't we Was it Jenga Bar Rock last year? I think it was Jenga, I've had that one. Yeah, haven't we? Was it Jingle Bell Rock

last year? I think it was Jingle Bell Rock last year. And what did you discover just days ago? That the song was going to be Mariah Carey All I Want for Christmas. Hence the situation we were in. Well, yeah, it puts us out of the game, Megan, puts you, me, Maddie and anyone playing the game in the office and along the Santa Parade,

the Farmers Santa Parade, anyone there listening well, they're automatically out of the game by us. We knew that was going to be a high-risk situation, going to the Christmas Parade. We might hear it there, but we didn't expect it to be our float, like definitely all of us out, plus playing it to everyone who was going to be playing the

game as well. Tell you what, Seymour, with your bloody Treaty Principles Bill, you step aside, mate. There's a new nationwide drama. Don't compare this. The Hick always decided to turn around and go back to Parliament over this. I've just had the message. No, not even the same sentence.

It's high drama, though, and we're trying to find a solution. Well, it's not high drama compared to that, to be honest. There's nothing compared to that. Lower drama compared to that. There's no drama compared to that. In our world,

it's drama, okay? And we tried to find solutions to this yesterday. Yeah. Yeah, I reckon that you

should just play the instrumental version on the float and then the dancers can just dance to that. Not a bad thought, actually. Ooh,

that is, yeah. The dancers have learnt the song. Yeah. So, you put their headphones on, you get them playing the song,

and you blast whatever music you want out of the float. Ah. Sounds like a huge budget cost for headphones. Headphones, yeah. I think you guys just exclude Sunday out of it altogether. So we had some great solutions yesterday. Now we have management on the phone. Because part of the problem, and we needed to, sorry, say that at the front, is because we couldn't change the song we were told because there's have management on the phone. Because part of the problem we needed to say at the front is because

we couldn't change the song we were told because there's dancers dancing around the float tours. Who have choreographed a dance to that song. Now Matt Anderson from the hits. Full name. Matthew Anderson, welcome. How are you? Good morning Jonathan Richard Pryor, I'm good. How are you? Hi drama, they're talking Hickory

stuff. No we're not. Stop saying that please, you're making me feel very uncomfortable. I like making you feel uncomfortable. It's my job. You're making the same sentence as that. That's why I come to work every day, to make Ben feel uncomfortable. But, Matt, where are we at with this? Well, yes, this has taken up an inordinate amount of time over the last 48 hours.

Firstly, I just want to say, you guys going to the Santa Parade on Sunday and expecting not to hear Mariah Carey is like someone fasting, wandering into a buffet. It's not going to end well. No, but there's a possibility we won't. You're just putting the song on the float, blows us all out, definitely. Again, as I say, this has taken up an absolutely inordinate amount of time. Well, then fix it.

Okay. That's what I'm trying to do. As I say, this has taken up an absolutely inordinate amount of time. Well, then fix it. Yeah. Okay. That's what I'm trying to do. So, look, this is something that obviously has read its head. Month and month of planning goes into this. There is dancing coordination. There are changes between all of the floats. But obviously, as you know, Larissa, our promotions direct the best in the business. Her and I have cleared our entire calendar today to ensure that by end of business, there will be a solution delivered to everyone.

All I want for Christmas is a fair and reasonable outcome for this drama. Now, can we pitch something? A change of song. A change of song with the same beats per minute so it doesn't affect the dancers' sex. Yeah, we did come with a solution. What song would that be? Well, it's an original, sort of. Oh, no, we can't play my... No, no.

No, we can't do my version. No. You don't want your version? A cover, I guess you'd call it. Yeah. Your version's the best version, Ben. This could play on you. Oh, will I come in?

Here we go. We can re-record. I don't want a lot for Christmas. That's an option. But there might be some other songs that are better options, Matt. I'm not a musical person, clearly. As I say, we will spend the entire day working on it, but I can immediately say that I am not comfortable

subjecting 100,000 people to that god awful recording. Neither am I, Matt, to be honest. Neither am I. All right, we'll leave it with you. We'll hopefully chat to you tomorrow. Clear the calendar, mate. Some sort of outcome, all right? The calendar's clear, guys.

By end of day, we will have a solution. Oh, great. We can't wait for that one, right? The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Megan, you wanted to chat about something that was said to you yesterday? Yeah, so I'm at real risk of sounding like a jerk here and it's really not my intention.

So I had mentioned this before to producer Ali that whenever we go out to some kind of work thing where there might be listeners there, I always get this comment and I did get it yesterday when we were out for the Weet-Bix Trathlon and it's meant with the best intentions. I know it is because they're always smiling

when they say it to me, but I'm interested to see whether you think this is kind of a backhanded compliment. So every time I go out I get the comment Oh, you're so much prettier in real life. Well, I guess compared to on the radio, they can't see it. Yeah, I was just thinking that. in real life? I'm like, oh,

thank you. Well, I guess compared to on the radio, they can't see you. Yeah, I was just thinking that. Oh, good recovery.

Yeah, recovery. And then they say, oh, wow, look at you. I thought only ugly people were on the radio,

like Jono. In real life, would suggest they've seen me before on something, like maybe one of our social media videos or something like that. Yeah.

But I'm kind of like taken back by it. That doesn't mean to say not, well. Because every time I've seen you before you're... What? What do you mean?

But it's not to say they thought you were ugly in social media stuff. You've taken it that way but they could say hey Megan's pretty but in real life even more pretty.

Producer Ellie. Producer Ellie. What would you say? Maybe we need a girl because Ellie you did cringe. I did and I've had it myself too Because people see me on the internet

And then will say things like that And again I know people mean well I really do know that It was meant in the best intention But it is a little bit backhanded Like I'd rather just You're really pretty Full stop

We've been there Better than Hey glass half full Better than you're uglier than in real life. It's a win. It's a win. But it's always in real life.

Yeah. Real life's different. They can see all your dimensions. Yeah. Maybe I need all the dimensions too. You have a split second

with someone, something pops into your head, you blurt it out and sometimes you walk away and you're like, oh,

that probably didn't, it wasn't intended to be like that. And it always puts me, I don't know what to say to that. I'm always like, oh, thank you. Well, if you want to make yourself feel better, I've hunted out from the archives a wonderful piece of audio when a fan ran into us, okay? This will make you feel better about life. Oh, that's right.

This was the two of us, wasn't it? Love your work, mate. Wait, we're trying to start your B&A Hey, you look old now You look old now What happened to you? What happened to you? So maybe that was

We were like, uh, no Backhanded compliment I was going to ask We looked great I can't quite spin that That was, we were like, no. Backhanded compliment. Yeah, backhanded compliment. Yeah. I was going to ask if. Because we looked younger before and we looked great. And now, no, I can't quite spin that. But anyway, it was funny. I was going to ask if there was something you always get. Like, are you short or are you tall?

You look old now. That's what we get now, right? The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Yesterday, we went along to the Weet-Bix Kiwi Kids Triathlon, which is so much fun. It's awesome to be part of it. And so many kids around the country have taken part. Over 33 years, almost half a million kids over the years, which is incredible.

Such a sense of achievement when they cross the finish line. Did you notice, too, because we were emceeing, Megan, and you noticed that the kids, they'll get you, come sign my shirt, sign my Crocs. Sign my medal. Sign all this. And honestly, and I'm not saying this as a joke, I reckon they'll get home and 80% of those kids would have had no idea who scribbled

with a permanent marker on their clothing. They're just following what everyone else is doing. They get caught up at the moment. I signed a couple of foreheads. I signed a couple of foreheads. I was like, against my better judgment as of foreheads I was like against my better judgement as a parent I was like

I shouldn't do this and they're like do it do it and they would have got home and were like who scribbled on your forehead with a vivid and they wouldn't have even

been able to name the name I wouldn't have thought I actually I signed someone's shoes as well I was like oh your parents are going to come back ah but it's what you do

as a kid they get swept up they get swept up in signing madness the kids don That's right. Do you know the one moment that got to me yesterday? I think you guys were there at the finish line, and when one girl crossed over the finish line, and her mum just swept her up in a cuddle, and she was like, I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of you.

I was like, oh, when your parents say that, you're like, pfft. It was awesome. It was awesome to see, and it was awesome to host. We did some bits throughout the day, and at the end, there's a bit of a prize-giving. There's some awesome prizes that everyone hangs around for. And you had to whip off for another appointment because it was running a little bit late, Megan. And so the two of us, you're like, you guys can handle it.

We're like, yeah, of course we have. We've done this before many times. We can handle this. But maybe we couldn't. Maybe you couldn't. Maybe we couldn't handle it. We lost the room. We start reading out the numbers, the bib numbers,

the winning numbers of who's going to get, say, a bike from Evo Cycles. And you're like, okay, the first number is a six. Everyone's like, yeah, because we've all got six. And they all stand up and then they sit down when they don't obviously hear their number. They're like, 603. And we start to lose people. And as they start to lose kids, they groan en masse, don't they? Yeah, like, make your bed. We're disappointing. to lose people and as they start to lose kids, they groan en masse, don't they? Ugh!

Make your bed, ugh! We're disappointing. So yeah, really we shouldn't do it like that because you think about all the thousands of people there, only one's going to be happy. One's happy, the rest are extremely disappointed. And then once you call out the final number and if the person hasn't come forward to collect their bike, boy oh boy, they turn

on you, the mob turn on you. They start chanting, redraw, redraw. Right away. And we're like, no, no, the winner's back here. They've turned up, and then boo. En masse, the mob, they turned feral on us. We got booed. Have you been booed?

I did it by myself last year, the prize giving. No, not one boo. Tell you what, it's a humbling experience being booed by thousands of children. I blame social media for the impatience levels too. They're chanting for a redraw within 0.5 of a second. They can't swipe you away. That's right. We're in the family-friendly era of our broadcasting.

Maybe not. It's going to be nice. It's going to be fine. But there are wonderful events throughout the country. And sign up. If you've never done one before, they're incredible. There's a whole lot happening in the new year as well. So get all the details at the hits.co.nz after 8 o'clock.

Well, we're after 8 o'clock, mate. Don't you worry about that. Well, I'm trying to say it so our boss doesn't realise. After 8 o'clock, which is definitely not now. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. I know you have a bit of a beef with the council giving you tickets all the time, Jono. They've got just a hit job on me. To be honest, it's because you don't pay for parking, but we keep telling you that.

And the police. Because you keep breaking the speed limit. Yeah, exactly. But there are people getting a bit annoyed with the council in Auckland because they're being fined for parking on their own driveway. What? Is it covering the footpath though? Well, yeah. So anyone knows that rule.

Yeah. Well, within a metre, either side of the driveway, you can't basically park. But sometimes on those tight streets, people are like, we've got no other option. What about? We just park inside our driveway. I understand. And money-grubbing councils across the country. Not just Auckland.

Just looking to make a buck wherever they can. Technically, yes, that's their land, isn't it? The footpath and the driveway. Yeah. But, you know, what else are you meant to do? If you've got, like, yellow lines on both the sides of your street. Yeah. We're going to park your car.

Apparently you can't park your car there. So, yeah, people are getting a little bit upset that sometimes they feel like we're not blocking anything, but we're still getting fined. Well, they're blocking the footpath, though, aren't they? Well, yeah, I think it's debatable whether it is or they're not. According to these people, they're not. But, yeah. We're actually hosting something for the council on Sunday. I'll ask some questions.

Are you allowed to park on your berm? No. No, probably not. Probably not. No, I guess by the same rationale. Have you been to West Auckland? Yeah. Yeah. That's all West Auckland is. Have you been to West Auckland? Yeah. That's all West Auckland is.

It's just cars on swapper crates on berms. It's like the decorative, the antiques of the West. Now, I think potentially I could be a really horrible person, and I want to know if you would have done the same thing in this situation, okay? So picture this at the petrol station. And I'm doing the at the pump, because now you can just pay at the pump. It's wonderful, isn't it? Tap your card.

You don't even have to go inside and be bombarded with, would you like some Santy bars? I kept saying that to you, so I'm glad you got onto it. Did you like that? They never opened up the thing for me. I'm like, just pay at the pump. Just pay at the pump. Yeah, it's great.

It's bloody beautiful. Yeah, because there was a period there where I'd be on the forecourt, and you know when you've stuck the nozzle in your thing, and they haven't released. Yeah. They haven't released the petrol, because they don't trust you. Because you need to the nozzle in your thing and they haven't released they haven't released the petrol because they don't trust you

because you need to prepay yeah pay the pump great invention sometimes I put my hands there I'm like I'm a trustworthy guy you know when you're like the surrender hands

no they can see you and they're like no he's got fines from the council the police it's like why would they let this guy do it anyway

so inside though I can see someone that I knew and I was like I'm really late for an appointment And I don't have time to talk to this person Because sadly they've just been through a breakup Their wife's just left them

Now this is not a I would talk to them any other day But if I ran into them This is longer than a 90 second how you're going, gotta go I can't just be, hey sorry sorry, life left you, mate. I've got an appointment I need to get to. So I'm like, okay, I can't let him see me. And it's a race against time.

And it's reached that period of the petrol delivery where it's drizzling out the last sort of, it feels like the last 10 cents worth take about five hours, isn't it? It slows right down. I've noticed he's noticed me through the glass. He's standing in line. So I'm like, okay, all right. Racing against Ty, racing against Ty. Boom.

Petrol is in. I shove the nozzle back in the thing. I'm in the car in a rush, and I'm pretending that I haven't seen him. And then I'm driving off. He's walking out of the doors of the petrol station. Don't look. Focus on where you're going. I didn't look, but I heard,

Jo, Jo, Jo. I heard it. I heard it. My windows were down. I heard it. You drove away. My windows were down. I heard it. You drove away? I drove away. I ignored.

I ignored. Well, yeah, because you're great talking to people, but you're not very good at moving on. You're not good at front-filling and going, hey, great to see you. I'm just on the way to a meeting. But yeah, because people understand that, I feel like. If people need to go, they're like, get up. But you're like, stop. And I'll be like, we're late, Jono.

Why are you talking? You're still talking. So I get it in that situation. You couldn't have done it quick. Hey, man, I'd love to catch up. I've been thinking about you lots. I'm really late for a meeting. I'll give you a call.

That would have been a great thing to say. That would have wrapped it up. That was brilliant. That was good. Where were you on the full court? Ben, what do I say here? Yeah, but I know that you probably would have gone. Would you have actually said that?

Yeah, I would have probably gone, hey, yeah. It's really nice to see you. I'll give you a call. I'm really late, but I've been thinking about you. And so Would you have actually said that? Yeah, I would have probably gone, hey, yeah, it's really nice to see you. I'll give you a call. I'm really late, but I've been thinking about you, and so I need to catch up. Good on you, sister. That's a great thing to do. So you wouldn't have just driven off into Gordon. Okay.

Because your windows are down and they're yelling your name. Yeah. I was going to blame the bad hearing from the radio. Yeah. But there we go. I would have stopped if my windows were down and they're yelling my name, but I would have done. God, hey, you same thing.

Hey, oh, so good to see you. I'm just really running. People understand you're running late for stuff. Would you have stopped? As in fully stopped or kept the car slightly rolling? No, I would have kept it slightly rolling. Slightly rolling. So you're still on the move?

Yeah, like, hey, good to see you. Oh, you've gone off that way. I can see it. I was looking for solace in you two. No, I definitely would have stopped. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Start our day with the New Zealand Herald Daily Quiz. Producer Ellie comes in, she reads it to us, and as soon as we get one wrong, we're out of the game.

She's our quiz queen, we call her. Lovely to have you in here, Producer Ellie. How are your 24 hours, all right? Thank you. Yeah, good, thank you, good, thank you. A bit tired today, so I can't pronounce the names usually, so today might be even worse. Also, hosting the quiz but offending nations worldwide.

Yep. No, that's my legacy. All right. She was a good lady, but, gee, she butchered some Russian names. Don't offend the Russians. Okay, I don't want to jinx this, but I feel like today's quiz and the start is hard. Sorry, sorry.

That was a bit of a rollercoaster, wasn't it? No, jinx that. Sorry. No, yeah, that wasn't the right. See, I told you I was talking. Okay, so we've got a tough start, but an easy finish. That's what you're predicting? Yeah, but also I could be wrong.

Maybe you do know these answers. You don't know what we know. Exactly. Which is not much. Okay, maybe you do know what we know. Okay. Which is not much. Okay, you're baby, you do know what we know. Okay, question number one. What does CSS stand for in web development? Oh, jeez.

Yeah. Creative site styles, cascading style sheets, or computer style source? I don't want to bail out question one. I have no idea. Do you guys? No, it would be a guess. Yeah. Should we chuck it to the text? Straight away. There'll be someone listening right now that would work in that field, surely. want to bail out question one i have no idea do you guys no it would be a guess yeah let's chuck

it to the text straight away there'll be someone listening right now that would work in that that field surely i didn't know that so um what does css stand for in web development is it creative site styles cascading style sheets or computer style source help us out because uh yeah i definitely didn't get this one right yeah i guess and i was still wrong let's try and play it safe literally none of those make any sense to me. Neither. I was trying to work out what would make the most sense. What does any of those mean?

Still don't get it. Please, if you're in the IT industry, the web development industry, CSS. What does it stand for? Someone says B. What was B? B? Cascading. Yeah, B was cascading.

Oh, yeah, there's another one coming through for cascading as well. Yeah, there's a few more coming through. Sounds like a waterfall. Thank you, John. It does, eh? Yeah, thank you, John. All right, you want to lock that one in? Yeah, let's cascading. There's another one coming through for cascading as well. Yeah, there's a few more coming through. Sounds like a waterfall. Thank you, John. It does, eh? Yeah, thank you, John. All right, you want to lock that one in? Yeah, let's lock it in.

Well, that's the only option. Someone says Dracula's, but I think that must be for something else. Yeah, I'd say so. It's a wonderful themed restaurant on the Gold Coast, actually, Dracula's. Oh, you've been there. Yeah. Big fishbowl cocktails. No, you imagine the greatest of Aussie bogans have been to Dracula's.

Are we sticking with John? Yeah, let's go with John. All right. Thank you, John. That is correct. Now we've got a tough road ahead. I know. That's our lifeline.

We've used it straight away. Yeah, this second one, I don't know about this either. Oh, no. Ellie. I know. Okay. Who is Cocteau Twinses? Wait.

Cocteau? C-O-C-T-E-A-U. Cocteau. Cocteau Twins' lead vocalist known for her unique ethereal singing style? So they're a band. I guess so. I don't even know how to pronounce that. Is the answer on your page? Can I come look at your screen? Yeah, you can look at it. So this is how it's written.

Like that. And the options are Elizabeth Fraser. I would say Cocteau would say suzy sue cocteau oh that's probably it the cocteau twins probably who is cocteau twins's lead vocalist i love the word cocteau twins the options are elizabeth fraser suzy sue or allison moyette or moya oh allison are Elizabeth Fraser, Susie Sue, or Alison Moyet. Or Moyet? Oh, Alison Moyet, no. Alison Moyet, no. She was a solo artist. My musty set types. Same, Annie Pratt.

Unless she was part of the Cocteau Twins or something or whatever they are. The Cocteau Twins sounds like a documentary with two twins who are joined by the penis. Okay, let's go. A or B, what are we going to lock in? What were the other two penis. Okay, let's go A or B. What are we going to lock in? What were the other two names? Sorry, Ellie.

It was Elizabeth Fraser, which was A, and then Susie Sue, which is spelled S-I-O-U-X, S-I-E, S-I-O-U-X. Don't act like that sounds familiar. You know nothing about the Cocteau twins. And I'd be frightened if you did. Susie Sue, she was part of another group. I'm pretty sure. Let's, she was part of another group. All right.

I'm pretty sure. Let's look in A. That is correct. You do know about the Cocteau Twins. Love the Cocteau Twins. Well done. Wow, we did well there. Okay, I feel like it's a little bit easier here.

Thank God. Let's go one more and then we'll take a break. All right. Question number three. In which British TV series did Nicholas Holt play the character Tony Stonem? Was it Shameless, Skins or Queer as Folk? You said it was going to get easier. Nicholas Holt, but it's spelled H-O-U-L-T. He was in Skins, but I don't know about his character.

I don't know his character's name. Tony. Yeah, he was in Skins. That is correct. Yay! Megan! Three from three. We'll be back shortly with... Tony Yeah he was in Skins That is correct Yay Megan Three from Three from three

We'll be back shortly With The hits The Jono and Ben podcast We've learnt a lot We've learnt about A group called The Cocteau Twins

Yeah And we all Had never heard of The Cocteau Twins But an 80s band And here's their song Heaven or Las Vegas Yeah okay your song Heaven or Las Vegas okay

sound like every other 80s group yeah they sound good I like the song 6.7 million views on YouTube so

they're doing alright you should be worrying about the cocktail twins okay so the question that we left you on just before are we cocktail maniacs

now we're better official fans I've been one for a long time. All right, we're on question number four, and it is who holds the record for the longest consecutive streak as world number one in golf? Options are Greg Norman, Tiger Woods, or Rory McIlroy.

I love how you butchered the Russian names. You even butchered Rory McIlroy. McIlroy. McIlroy. I meanroy. McIlroy. I mean, yeah. You have to say Woods. I feel like Woods. I mean, Rory McIlroy has been really good recently.

And it's been. Is it the longest streak? Yeah, longest consecutive streak. Yeah. I feel like Tiger had a real long streak at one point. Yeah, I reckon Tiger too. That is correct. Yeah, there we go.

Nice work. What's that? Four down. Yeah. No, question number five. Okay. She feels like a slow morning this morning, doesn't there we go. Nice work. What's that four down? Yeah, no, question number five. Okay, she feels like a slow morning this morning, doesn't she? All right. I mean, no, we're having lots of fun.

You're really smart. Okay, what river runs through the city of Glasgow? Is it, no, I'm not going to do the accent. Is it Tyne or Teen? No, Tyne. Clyde or Mercy? Never been to Scotland. Ah, neither.

That makes, there's no excuse not to know the river. The River Clyde. The River Tyne. No, I don't. Oh, you're trying to. Yeah, nice. Clyde sounded good. Clyde.

Clyde. Just how his eyes lit up. Yeah. I feel like Clyde was the one that stuck out to me. I've never been to Clyde. Oh, I'll pay. We've got to go with something. So let's go with that one.

Yeah, that accent was beautiful. That is correct. Yay! Well done. Beautiful. More, I'll pay. We've got to go with something, so let's go with that one. Yeah, that accent was beautiful. That is correct. Yay! Well done. Beautiful. More accents on the show. Okay, question number six. Which character did Anne Hathaway, no, which character did Anne Hathaway play in Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight Rises?

Batgirl, Harley Quinn, or Catwoman? Yeah, she was Catwoman. Correct. Nice. Ooh, okay. Have we navigated our way Through the treacherous waters Of this one

You have We're on question seven And I think you can get this one too In which country Is the annual Oktoberfest festival held Munich Oh Germany

Germany In Munich In Germany Oh that's like Double points I reckon That's correct Okay great Okay

Double points Where were these ones At the start I know right Okay question number eight The Cocteau Twins Are at the start I reckon. That's correct. Okay, great. Okay. Double points. Where were these ones at the start? I know, right? Okay, question number eight. The cocktail twigs were at the start. Which watch brand has been the official timekeeper for the Olympics since 1932? Is it Omega?

Yes. Rolex? Or Tag Heuer? It's Omega, isn't it? That's correct. You were going to say Formula One. I was like, Rolex! All right.

Question number nine. Ooh. Yeah. In which year was Metro magazine first published? Was it 91, 81, or 2001? This is the Auckland High Society. Yeah. A little pretentious at parts, the Metro magazine. You're never getting a column in there.

I love you, Metro. So what is the 81? Yeah, 91, 81 or 2001. I reckon it was 91. I reckon 91 too. Yeah, Bill Rolston started, didn't he? What did he? I don't know.

Oh, Billy Rolston. Lovely guy. Oh, you said it's pretentious. Well, his magazine is pretentious. He's a nice guy though It's like a 91 then That's incorrect It was 81

There you go You got 8, that's pretty good We did pretty well It was We got through there We got talking about Ancestry.com It often pops up The 10 seconds as a YouTube ad that pops up, doesn't it? It does really.

It gets into your algorithm, the old Ancestry.com. Have you ever been onto Ancestry.com? A long time ago. I think I don't even remember my login. It told me I was like 8% Spanish. Oh, really? Based on what? What did you have to do for it?

I can't even remember. Have a paella. Yeah, no, you have to give them DNA. Right, yeah. You have to like scrape your mouth and stuff. Gotcha. I see you swab and send it off. Yeah.

Geez, they've got some dirt on people, don't they? Ancestry.com. Yeah, yeah. The ultimate database. They come asking for money at some stage and be like, oh, what? Oh. Interesting. Yeah, because I could just make you look like you committed this crime here.

You're like, all right, all right, all right, I'll give you your money. But loads of texts when you mentioned it yesterday, loads of texts coming in. Family secrets. Surprises that you find out through those DNA websites. I have a family secret I'd like to share. Yeah. That probably about two and a half years ago, the Googler wasn't working. Okay. that probably about two and a half years ago, the Googler wasn't working. Okay?

And I said I fixed the Googler, but it was a plumber. I guess it's a secret, yeah? No one knew. No one knew. I was paying him, so he was going to stay quiet. It's not quite what we wanted, but yeah, thank you. We've got Shannon on the phone.

Try and beat my Googler story, Shannon. I'll try. What happened? What's your family secret? So my nana, my mum's mum, met this man. I don't know how long they were dating or anything, but she got pregnant, and when he found out he gave her money for an abortion and sashayed away he left and great use of sashay yep

and um and my dad was like no i'm having this child and um and so he has no idea that she even exists. But my aunties and my nanasisters found in the papers that he was, one, getting married, and then also had a baby at the same time my mum did. I'm sorry, my nana did. And then later found out that they also have the same name. Oh! What? and then later find out that they also have the same name. So they're half sisters that don't know each other that have the same name. That is wild.

It must have been a name that he quite liked. Yeah. Like, what is the... Yeah, it's crazy. And all I know that he was American, but found out he was still living in the same area that we were living in. All the time. So he still to this day doesn't know that she exists?

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. And my Nana just said to her, like, don't ever go find him. Like, please, like, don't, like, whatever you do, don't go find him. That's all you'd want to do is find him. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

But she just was like, okay, well, I respect your wishes and has sort of come to the realization and the conclusion that, like, oh, I don't need him. I don't need him in my life, and I don't want to destroy marriage over it. She's at peace with it. Wow. Because you kind of think, well, maybe your nana would know. You want to respect her.

But in the back of your mind, you'd always want to meet him, wouldn't you? Yeah, yeah, I do. I want to find that part of my family. Yeah, exactly. I can't promise anything. Well, true, you're right. You're a lot better at this conversation. If you're American, you could have a whole family of Trump supporters over there that you have never even met before.

That is cruel. Shannon, hey, thank you very much for sharing. That's a very intimate story you've shared there and I appreciate it. Yeah, thank you. No worries, yeah. Well, keep this coming through. Turns out you could beat McGurgler's story. Yeah, who would have thought, eh?

Who would have thought? The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. This text is coming through as soon as we started talking about Ancestry.com. Yeah, your family secrets. They seem like they're only like a bottle of wine away from being told to everyone, aren't they? But in this instance, just an 0800 The Hits away. Now we've got Shay. Good morning.

Good morning. Some wild stories coming through on the text machine. You know, nannies who didn't, you know, children out of wedlock back in the day, which was frowned upon, and boy, oh boy, those kids went off and, yeah, crazy stuff. Anyway, Shay, what happened to you? Well, I got contacted last year

on Facebook Messenger, and this woman was like, I'm pretty sure I'm your aunt, and I said, and my dad was adopted, so I was like, oh, okay. And so we got to chatting, and she told me my dad was adopted. So I was like, oh, okay. And so we got to chatting and she told me my grandmother was still alive. Who's 94 in Montana. Yeah. So, and I had been looking for her before. So I did make a trek up there last year to meet her and my aunt and there's extra three children. There's three boys as well. but my dad and his dad were adopted out when my grandmother

lost her husband when she was really young and she went to a psych ward and then the psych ward told her that the boys had died yeah so she always thought that the boys had died that is she's gone a whole life without knowing that why would they do that because the people that she'd given children to wanted to adopt the kids and she said no i'll get better i will come out and then an attorney came and said oh i'm so sorry um they are gone that is wild i know she so when i met her we couldn't really tell her who i was because i don't think she really understands anymore being having severe dementia we can't really tell her who I am. Yeah.

Oh, my goodness. But I did get to see her. So that was my, you know, finishing off my chapter, which was pretty cool. Yeah, for you to have a whole other part of your life and your family that you didn't know about as well. Oh, I feel so bad for her. Yeah, so three uncles and an aunt. Yeah. Wow.

That is psychotic that they would do that to someone. I feel so bad for her. Yeah, that she'd never know that her whole life. That was, yeah, wow. Thank you so much for sharing. That's an unbelievable story, amazing story. Thank you so much, eh? No worries, no worries.

Have a great day. Yeah. Have a great day. Should start up a show like, you know, a chat show where people just come on and air their family, you know, dirty laundry. There'd be a show on there, wouldn't there? Post it on a laundry mat.

It's called dirty laundry. I mean, they're always dirty laundry. Laundry. There'd be a show on that one there. Posted it on a laundry map. Called Dirty Laundry. I mean, they're not always Dirty Laundry. Welcome along to Dirty Laundry. While people are still cleaning their Dirty Laundry in the background because we couldn't book the whole thing out. Love it. It's a format. It's a winner. We'll start hosting it next week. Dirty Laundry, coming soon.

Yesterday we went along to the first of 11 Weet-Bix triathlons for kids around the country it's been going for over 30 years and this year they'll have over 5

half a million kids 500,000 kids would have taken part over those 33 years Did you do it? No I don't think it was I was at school

a while ago I had mates that yeah I feel like it was just towards the end of our time as well, but it's huge, eh? And it's amazing to go along and see. So I wasn't a big, like, running fan. Running does suck. Like, let's, even, I imagine, professional. You do a bit of it, though.

And it sucks. I do run, and I hate every part of it, but then you're like, it's good for you, you know? Right. But no one ever looks like they're having a great time running. But then we asked some of the kids yesterday, like, what's your favorite part? Is it the running, biking or the swimming? And heaps of them said running. Yeah.

And I was like, really? When I did the triathlon, I preferred the biking on the penny farthing. I felt that was knocked off 8Ks on the penny. Well, we went along there and we were hosting, you know, emceeing uh shouting stuff out over the microphone uh which was great then we went along to the finish line and it was really cool to watch uh they had some great ambassadors some black ferns uh paralympians as well uh olympians giving across their medal at the finish line and there was something that you

you noticed that the hype people were doing well they were calling out the kids names weren't they and there's thousands of kids. Yeah, and it would really surprise the kids to be like, well done, Nathaniel, you did it, well done, you know, high five, and Nathaniel's perfect. Yeah, back up. Every single time, you're like, I go, how do you know all these kids' names?

Great hype people. And then they let us in on a little secret, that their names were in, you know, very small font on their bibs, you know, with the numbers, the race numbers. Tiny font. Yeah. Tiny font. Not for them, young eyes.

Yeah. We were like. But when they're coming over the finish line and they're running and they're slowing down, you're trying to look at their name. But Jono, you decided to do it. I wanted to make the kids feel special. But it made you look a bit weird as you were sort of crouching down. Because you crouch down.

You're like leaning and squinting at them as they're coming towards you. I'm like, you look weird. I think I recorded some audio at the moment. We're here at the Wee Bigs Kids Triathlon. Jono, you're looking kind of weird. What's going on? Well, you can freak the kids out, which is not a great start to a sentence, is it? But you can scare them because they've got their names.

That's why I say scare them. People are encouraging the kids when they get across the line, and you can find their name on their bib, right? Yeah, but it's written in tiny font, so what you end up doing is squinting and staring at their abdomen to try and get their name, and they look at you very unusually. I love the support here. Go, George!

George! Yeah, George! So much support. It is so heartwarming to be part of this. It's such an amazing event. And the sense of achievement with the kids across the line is great up until when Jono bends down and tries to read their name and that kind of weds them out.

Yeah. Sometimes you just catch the name as they pass you. You're like, Charlotte, Charlotte, come on, Charlotte. This little girl turns around and she's like, thanks, strange old man. What I did enjoy at one stage too was, was like there was two people handing out. They had two things of water. So there was water. They were the first two people.

And you were standing behind them with two things of water. I was like, well, I'm not going to need six glasses of water. Backup waters. Two plus two is four. Oh, no. Yeah. And then Jono was behind as well. So there was two people at the front.

They had water. And then Jono was behind them. And I was like, well, Jono. Guys, I've got enough water. You know when you run a triathlon, one little cup of water is not enough. Anyway, so no one wanted my water. No one wanted me calling their names out. Hey, Kelly.

Excuse me, prying into your private life. Are you married? I'm getting married next year, actually. Oh, now. Why? You stay on the line. Kelly, I want you to listen to this as well. Oh, now, you stay on the line because Kelly, I want you to listen to this as well.

Now, we were at an event yesterday and I got talking to a lady and she's like, here's a story for your radio show

and I was like, love it, feed it to me. So, she currently in the throes of reorganising her life.

So, she was getting married. Right. All right. At the day of the wedding, Kelly's still there. She's into it. Day of the wedding. Day of the wedding. Someone walks in on her groom, her husband to be.

Yeah. With the head bridesmaid. Oh. Oh. In a passionate embrace. Oh, right. So the person she was about to marry was hooking up with the bridesmaid. Oh, Ben, how did you not get that? Where did you get that?

I was thinking of my head around it again. Land of Oz, mate. Land of Oz. It didn't take two weeks like Jono. Crazy story. Yeah, my head's bridesmaid is my sister-in-law, so I hope that's not happening. And it's a second marriage, so fingers crossed it works out better this time.

It would be awkward on many levels. Kelly, thanks for staying around for that story. I was like, can you come on the radio? No one will even believe me if I tell that story, because people think I make stories up. Yeah, we do, actually. I can't. I was like, well, you the radio No one will even believe me If I tell that story Because people think I make stories up Yeah we do actually I can't I was like Well you will

Give it authenticity That it needs But crazy So now Her Well ex Is with Her former head's broken

They're off on What did she do In that moment Throw down Or just walk away I think just Called it off Yeah

Always I wonder About the guests Obviously we were concerned For her Always I wonder about the guests. Obviously we were concerned for her in that situation, but the guests, they're there. They're like, is the food? Do we still have a party or do we not? What's going on?

Do you remember, was I telling you, Ben, there was a story about a woman who her husband was cheating and someone the night before the wedding had sent her the screenshots of the sordid messages. It might have been the woman, in fact, and said, I wouldn't marry him, would you? She didn't know what to do, so she just went along with the wedding, and when she's supposed to do her vows

in front of all their friends and family, she reads out the sorted text messages. Oh, that's waiting. Oh, that's a good play. It's a good play. He skulks away, and then she has a party. She has the reception with her friends and family. All right.

Should we chuck this open? This might not work. It's a high risk, high reward. Text 4487 0800 the hits. Worst wedding party people. That were the groomsmen or the bridesmaids

that they just really let you down. They let you down on the big day. You don't have to name them. There's no names, but just what happened? What event took place where you're like, well, that was the end of that friendship. In some ways, I'd rather find out like that than go through the wedding.

Yeah. It's a horrible way to find out, but you'd rather find out before the wedding. Absolutely. You know, you go, oh, cool. Well, at least we can end that. Plough on with our lives. Two years later, go, oh, what?

Hang on, this was happening the whole time? Yeah, exactly. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Now, a Mariah Carey game that we are playing, of course, you're playing along. So many people playing along with. It's been really great how this is captured. Everyone's imagination heading into Christmas.

You've just got to see how long you can avoid listening to All I Want for Christmas by Mariah Carey. If you hear it anywhere, no matter where you are, no matter if you're scrolling through social media, listening to the radio, whatever, you're out of the game. Yeah. Do you reckon Mariah has any idea how much she's impacted our lives over the last three or four weeks in little old New Zealand? We don't know.

Someone should message you. But the Santa Parade Sunday, the hits are a proud partner of the Santa Parade and On the Float. You just discovered two days ago that the song was going to be... Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas. So people in charge of that float were just going to absolutely sabotage myself, Ben and Maddy, who are still in the game, and also anyone who was coming along to watch the Santa Parade who was playing. Blasting it out for two hours on loop as we go around and around. Nothing but that song.

These dancers. So the problem being that we can't change the song. Well, we've been told we can't change the song because dancers who are around our float have learnt choreography to that song. Yeah. Now, we spoke to our boss up a minute. I mean, there's been accusations of malice behaviour, defending of malice behaviour. We were told that wasn't the song.

Passive aggressiveness. That's what we thought. Gas lighting. Yeah. This all seems like fun and games, but behind the scenes. We were told it wasn't that song. That's why we chose that song. We would have chosen that song.

That's what we've said. Front room meetings, back room meetings, upper mat, upstairs meetings, meetings all over the place. Now we're trying to find a solution. For a fun Christmas game, things have really taken a turn. Some people do serious work, eh? And then there's us fighting over a song. Yeah, for a game that has no prize attached.

No prize attached. There's nothing. The glory? The glory and just the how long can we go? We'll just do a side poll. Do you think Ben and Megan are taking this a little too seriously? I know I am. Honestly, I don't mind going out on Sunday,

but I just feel bad that we're trying to get all these people playing this game and they're potentially in the crowd. They'll be like, oh, thanks, guys. You know, that we're the ones to get them out. Are there bigger things to worry about in the world? Yes, absolutely. But are we still very invested? I can't think of anything.

Nothing is springing to mind at the moment. So we have pitched to our boss, Matt, that we change the song. Change it now to get around the whole dancers. They've learned their routine. It's sort of something in the same beats per minute. So their timing is not thrown out. You're not thrown out. The people aren't thrown out.

It's a win-win. It's a win-win. It's a win-win situation. Now, he's had to clear his calendar, he said. It's a big day, too, here at the radio. So he's cleared his calendar. And that's all he's going to work on today. There's definitely a few meetings that he has to be a part of today.

No, it's all about Mariah today. Today is all about Mariah. So hopefully we'll have a resolution tomorrow and a new song, an announcement of a new song on the float. Or the news, the crushing news

that we are playing nothing but Mariah Carey for two hours. Many texts saying your behaviour is totally acceptable. No way. If more get more emotional about the cause.

So thank you. Yeah, we appreciate everyone's support. Everyone's on board with this. And we want to be on board with the float. The Hits, the Jono and with this. And we want to be on board the float. The hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

Because we're trying to do a fun Christmas game, you know, trying to avoid hearing where I carry song. And we find out. Not much gets Ben Boy salty. Just a couple of days ago. I love that he's like, he's willing to die in a ditch over this campaign.

Yeah, he is. Now you discovered that. I love doing stuff. We call them story arcs where people, we get is. Now, you discovered that. Well, I love doing stuff. We call them story arcs where people, we get involved and we bring people on a journey. And I love doing them. The magical thing about this one is there's no prize. I know.

We're all doing it for glory. Everyone's getting in on it. No, the magical thing is there's no money involved. Yeah. We haven't paid to any budget. No budget. This is free campaign from start to finish. Yeah.

And there's a text coming through because our float is going to be playing Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas. Someone's saying, why not give the parade immunity? Because it's not just you guys playing the game. The rest of New Zealand are playing as well. That's what someone's saying on the text. That's true. And so we're going to get all the people that potentially are playing the game out on

the Santa parade. And it's not, the whole point of this isn't Christmas grunt. We're not trying to be buzzkills for Christmas. I don't want anyone to not go to the parade because they're trying to not hear Mariah. But if that's what it takes, those are the lengths we're willing to go to. Now, we have pitched that we change the song on the float.

Now, Matt, our boss, he's going away. He's talking to the people, and he's going to try and come up with a solution. End EOP, end of play today, which we'll have for you tomorrow on the show. Lindsay, you're chiming in on this. Yeah, I thought I'd come up with a solution, and I think I've got a reasonable solution.

What's that? The solution is you've got hidden in the safe back there at your studio there, you've got a gold card, and you can pull the gold card out because it's the day of rest. Oh, Sunday, the day of rest. Oh, Sunday, the day of rest. Oh, the rest day. Yeah, so everybody, so that everybody can go to the parade, can pull out the gold card and have a day of rest.

Just rest the rules for Mariah. Okay, that's correct. Like an amnesty. Now, speaking of which, we've heard you're currently inseminating cows. Did you have to pull out your armour from a cow to call us, Lindsay? Yeah, well, I'm just going to be just short of 10,000 cows for the season. Oh, wow. You stuck your arm inside 10,000 cows?

Yeah. Jeez. Wow. How many can you do in a day? The biggest day I did was about 430. Jeez, that's a lot of cows you put yourself inside there, Lindsay. It's an intimate situation.

Oh, good on you for doing that. Can you give them a pat first at least? You don't want to know where his cell phone is at the moment right now he's talking to us on. That's our next story arc. Lindsay comes up here and inseminates me. No, no, no, no. I draw the line.

Lindsay, we appreciate your call. You I draw the line. I draw the line. Lindsay, we appreciate your call. You have a great day. You too. Thank you. That's a gold card, though. That's a gold card, yeah. Neil's got a great text.

He's like, guys, stop being selfish. You're hurting two people with this. One, Matty, he needs to listen to his Christmas jam. He loves Mariah Carey. And two, Mariah Carey, she needs a few weeks of royalties to pay for her next mansion. Selfish. We are being selfish, aren't we?

Thank you, Neil. He's also ignoring the hordes of texts that say just play Ben's version of the song. Oh, God. That's because it's not the Mariah version. A lot of suggestions. That was the solution that I pitched. Our boss did poo-poo it this morning. We can't listen to other ones, can't we?

Yeah. Hi. Don't want a lot for Christmas. Oh, geez, I've gone too fast. We'll't listen to other ones, can't we? Yeah. Hi. Don't want a lot for Christmas. Oh, geez, I've gone too fast. We'll re-record it though. Without the ad-libs in between.

I don't think it could get any better, even with re-recording, but maybe I'm wrong. But lots of people saying that. Someone's saying, who the something cares, just play the song, kill the game.

So there you go. Oh, okay. Dee, what do you want to say quickly on this one? Oh, I'm still lost with Lindsay there. go. Oh, you're okay. Dee, what do you want to say quickly on this one? Oh, I'm still lost with Lindsay there, sorry.

I know, right? We're all coming to terms. Over 400 a day. Anyway. I'm more than happy to not hear Mariah, sorry. I'm still in the game, and I actually do prefer your version. Oh, you like the Ben Voice version?

We all do. I love it. Said no one ever. There we go. We got there. No take backs. No take two. I don't want a Christmas. Getting on the Christmas spurt as well.

The great thing is, if we play it on the float in the Santa Parade, anyone watching only hears it for like five minutes while we pass by. Us, on the other hand, two hours of that. Love your call, Dee. Go and have a great day and have a cup and tea and a lie down after what you heard Lindsay say he's doing.