Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL SHOW: Jono makes inspirational videos and Megans in a tight spot...

Episode Date: May 6, 2024

ON THE SHOW TODAY Megan on the Met Barry White life advice It's time for a roast! Jonos beef with milk? Worst impression ever HELP Bens daughters are stealing his shirts! Relatable parent moments...�� Check us out! Facebook: The Hits Breakfast with Jono and Ben Instagram: TheHitsBreakfastSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Cheers to Dilma, making the world a better tea. Welcome back. Good 24 hours, guys. No one's come back with, Ben hasn't dyed his hair again, no Botox, no facelifts from anyone. No. Feeling good? Sadly.

I sleep through the night, so I'm on top of the world today. Yeah, you said. Yeah. Well, do you not normally sleep through the night? Nah, because I've got little kids. Oh, of course. All right. Okay.

Full sleep. I feel like a million bucks. Sleeping beauty has awoken. We want to raise, this is kind of like a Cinderella story, isn't it? But instead of finding a foot that fits a shoe, we need to find a computer that fits an IP address. Yeah. There's a car park.

It's a public car park we park in every day. It's not far from the hits, but it's a little bit of a walk. But you're right. A lot of people could park their cars day. It's, you know, not far from the hits, but, you know, it's a little bit of a walk. But you're right. A lot of people could park their cars there. Yeah. And, excuse me, it's got like in the foyer when you're waiting to catch a lift. Megan doesn't know about this because for some reason she gets to park in the building.

Like, no one gets to. I mean, Mike Hosking, Tony Street, and Megan. Pappas. Hey, what are you saying? I'm not up with Mike Hosking. They're the only people that get to park in there. I even tried the other day and I got told to move. To be fair, what? During the show. During the show. I was like, I can't do it right now. They're the only people that get to park in there. I even tried the other day and I got told to move. To be fair, what? During the show.

During the show. I was like, I can't do it right now. They're like, you're going to have to move, mate. Get out of here. Mike almost mowed me down in one of his flash cars one day because I was going too slow. So anyway, the general public. So yeah, I don't know. We associate with them and we go there bigger, just so you know.

Mike Hosking, he has no qualms about running over poor people. Yeah. Okay. But yeah, this in the foyer, when you're waiting to catch the lift, there's like a TV screen attached to the wall. And over about four or five weeks, I've been just trying to figure out what exactly this TV screen's for because it feels like an IT person has hooked the screen up

and accidentally left it connected to their computer. Yeah. Some very odd, unusual videos playing off YouTube like, you know, this person loves cars being fixed. A lot of stuff about how to fix cars. So obviously someone's watched the tutorial on how to fix cars and that's playing downstairs on this public screen. And then, you know, once the video plays, it just goes to another video and another video once the video plays it just goes to another video and another video another video and it just keeps going i'm really into the restoration of vehicles so whoever this person is as well so they're obviously not a professional mechanical

panel beater but loving to you know maybe teaching themselves on youtube how to do stuff but every day i go in there because on friday i left and there was like family guy playing and you can hear it like the speakers are on. Oh, okay. Yeah. And I'm thinking, it's only a matter of time. Someone's got to know that someone's, yeah. It's only a matter of time before we walk in there and something's going on. Something's being watched. Something dodgy.

And eventually someone will go, oh dear God, my what has been playing? You know, imagine if everything, great prank, but imagine if everything that you're watching on the internet is being broadcast to strangers. Yeah, right. It's like the Truman Show. Yeah. Maybe that's going to be the new, you know, we're quite voracistic, aren't we, as a society?

Maybe that's the new TV show. You just basically put someone in with a computer. They think they're alone, but everyone else is watching. Oh, my God. They're like, oh, okay, look at that. Every morning I'm like, is today the day? And it wasn't today. It was the cars being raced today.

Really loves the car. How loud is the speaker? It's quite loud. Is it? It's just quiet for you. So you can hear the videos very clearly. So yeah, there's no way to get hold of this person. I don't know how to warn them or tell them.

Don't warn them. Wait, what are you doing? Feels like you'd want to know. I'd want to know. Everything I was looking at on this, God forsaken thing. Yeah, we don't know how to warn them or tell them. Don't warn them. Wait, what are you doing? Feels like you'd want to know. I'd want to know. Everything I was looking at on this, God forsaken thing. Yeah, we don't know them. We're waiting for the special day.

True. They're a faceless victim at the moment. You have to keep us up to date then. We will. Yeah, we will. But yeah, there was a Subaru being raced around a track today. The hits.

The Jono and Ben podcast. Met Gala is on today. Fashion. And we cross live now to our fashion expert, Megan Puppers. What's this? This is Lady Gaga's song, Fashion. Oh, okay. Gotcha.

Fashion, darling. Megan, you know a lot more about this than us. So the Met Gala, I know it happens in New York every year. It's where people wear all the crazy sort of outfits, right? It's the first Monday in May, yeah. So it's the one, it's a fundraiser for the Costume Institute. And there's a theme every year.

The theme sometimes is not the same as what is on display. So basically they're displaying costumes. Like garments that are too fragile to be worn anymore. So they put them on display. So Sleeping Beauties is the display. Oh, so is that what they're going through?

So you see all these photos on the red carpet of all the celebrities, but they're going somewhere. Is that what they're going to? Inside, yeah. So it's opening of this display. For the next year? Yeah. Ah, and it's at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City.

So people can just go along and check it out. Yeah. Afterwards. After, you can't go to Met Gala. Very exclusive event. But the theme for what you'll see people dressing up as is the Garden of Time, which is inspired by a novel. So there'll be lots of florals and gardening stuff today.

But it's the one where they wear all the crazy outfits. So it's the one where Kim Kardashian wore the Marilyn Monroe dress. That's right. Is that in the costume department? It won't be this year. But it has been previously. I don't know, actually. I think that's owned by Madame Tussauds or something like that.

They have it on display. Yeah, love that wax museum. I've been to that wax museum before. And Anna Wintour, she's the editor-in-chief of Vogue magazine. Yeah, the person who inspired Devil Wears Prada. I think she's incapable

of smiling. Don't think you've ever seen her smile. And she likes to wear her glasses all the time inside. Apparently she runs a pretty tight ship at that magazine. I was reading an article. Oh really? Which is great. Good on her. She's a journalist, British. Been doing it for years. Obviously very successful.

Yeah. And very hard to get in on that list of the who's who, right? Yeah, it's pretty much a who's who of the moment. And Travis and Taylor were invited, but she's about to start in Paris doing an errors tour, so she won't be going. And Travis is not going because she's not going. So that's sad. The outfits I've seen, you know, like Rihanna turning up dressed as a giant rubbish truck

or something, seems like a very inconvenient outfit. I mean, you love a costume, but wandering around dressed like a giant tree for a whole night, like going to the toilet. I know. Some of them are very uncomfortable. Some of them end up walking the red carpet and then changing into something else. Yeah, I just wonder that. Because it's too much.

You get through, you get your photos done, and then you basically put on some trackies and some Ugg boots. But it's the most bizarre and the most amazing red carpet because it's supposed to be costumey. It's supposed to be kind of dress up. It all kind of makes sense now because I was like, why are these people wearing it? There we go, Megan.

Thank you for explaining that. I could have done my research, but I didn't. The Hits, the Jono I didn't. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. The internet wormhole being lost again on the wonderful World Wide Web and got into a hole of inspiration. And an interview with Barry White. Now, Barry White falls into that category for me of, is he still around, Barry White, who, you know,

sung songs like this? I've heard people say that. Look, let's hedge our bets. Is Barry White still around? Barry White, who you know, sung songs like this. I've heard people say that. Let's hedge our bets. Is Barry White still around? I'm going to say sadly not. We played that game a while ago, didn't we? Dead or Alive. Yeah, Dead or Alive. Because there are some celebrities you're like, oh, are they still around? Because he could be.

We just don't hear from him, maybe. Yeah, well, he's done his thing, you know. Professionally speaking, but has he done his thing life-wise? I reckon he's passed on. I don't know. I'm going to go alive then. Okay. I hope he's not.

He's passed on? Yes, he did. 4th of July 2003. Oh, quite a while ago. Geez, over 20 years ago. Yeah, so... Okay, so he Can't get enough of your love, babe.

Okay, so what, has he given us some life advice? Life advice, and it's just... Beyond the grave? A reminder of how

mind-blowing we are as species. Have a listen to what Barry White's about. I made up my mind to make a change in my life when I was 16 years old. We are all gods on this planet, every man and every woman. We create life. We can take life. We control what goes into the sea, whether the fish can live or not. We decide if the trees can grow tall. We are very powerful

beings on the planet Earth. You know, people tend to play down our power. There's a lot of things that has to change on this planet Earth that only we can change. And until we embrace the fact that we are as powerful as we are as beings, we're going to continue to make the mistakes. There you go. When you actually think about it, when you think like your brain, you just think something and you do it. Yeah. You move something of your body.

I know. That's always blown my mind. It's like you can't think too hard about it. You're actually just like, what. Yeah. You move something of your body. I know, that's always blown my mind. It's like, you can't think too hard about it or else you're just like, what?

Yeah. But he's a very good point there, Barry White. And also, you know, we can chop down trees and life

taking givers and all, you know, all those things. We've got all that power. Yeah, we don't really

think about it. Well, Barry would be pleased to know in the past 20 years since he said that quote, that we've done

all that we can to save the environment. Yeah, have we? Look after it. Have we? Yeah. Have we done all that we can to save the environment. Have we? Look after it. Have we? Have we done all that? Yeah, true.

You're right, 20 years ago, we'd say all these things. We're like, oh, shut up, Barry. Shut up, Barry, yeah. His voice sounds like it's puberty like nine times over, doesn't it? Yeah. I'd love to hear the before and after of puberty for him.

Very white, yeah. But it started when I was 16. 16 was probably when his, he decided he was like. He wakes up one morning, he's like, hey, mom. He's like, whoa. Hey, yeah. He started when I was 16. 16 was probably when he decided. He wakes up one morning, he's like, hey, Mom. Hey, Mom. But there you go. That's Barry White. Something to think about, isn't it?

You take it for granted, really. Inspirational for the internet wormhole. I'm Brady. He's an American legend when it comes to American football. And for some reason, he decided now that he's retired he would open himself up to a whole lot of ridicule and a roast. A roast of

Tom Brady. I reckon he's regretting it now. Yeah, he probably got paid a lot of money as did all the people, all the stars that turned up for it like Kevin Hart, Kim Kardashian, a lot of great comedians were there as well and it was on Netflix live. They went live in America and you can catch it on New Zealand right now.

It's on New Zealand Netflix. Just live and raw for three hours. Now, previously they've been pre-recorded, haven't they? Yeah, they did sit down and... Yeah, tightened up, but this was just, whatever was said went out. It seems like, I mean, you open yourself, a roast is kind of, it is a roast.

People are going to mock you, people are going to say some things, some people are going to push things too far. Yeah, because, well, it's not a rumour, People are going to mock you People are going to say some things Some people are going to push things too far Yeah Because there Well it's not a rumour It's a fact that Giselle Bunch and his ex-wife Went off and ran off with the kids karate instructor So Kevin Hart

Open the show You're like Maybe a fresh divorce might be off the cards Yeah You'd think but have a listen How did you not see this coming? Eight karate classes a day Eight karate classes a day eight karate

classes a day eight eight karate class a day and she's still a white belt she's still a white belt yeah yeah so she obviously a karate didn't improve but anyway according to kevin hart uh there was a comedian that i wasn't uh too aware of but she's really funny nicky glaser yeah she does all the roasts and she's she's really funny. Nikki Glaser. Yeah. She does all the roasts, and she's so funny. She's very brutal. She had another great joke at Tom Brady's marriage breaking up. Five-time Super Bowl MVP, most career wins, most career touchdowns. You have seven rings.

Well, eight now that Giselle gave hers back. And then she started going in on Kevin Hart. This was gold. No, Kevin, I love And then she started going in on Kevin Hart. This was gold. No, Kevin, I love you. No one works harder than this man. Do you know that every morning, Kevin wakes up at 4 a.m. to make a shitty movie? No, I love your movies, or as I call them, short films.

I'm kidding. I hate them. No. No, sorry, Kevin. I don't mean to belittle you, but you belittle, man. Like, you're a tiny guy. Kevin is 5'2", 150 pounds. 155 after The Rock finishes. So you watch the comedian, and then they cut to whoever it is.

The camera shot cuts to whoever it is to give the jokes about it. Tom Brady looked uncomfortable through some of the jokes. Kevin Hart was enjoying all that. Well, Tom Brady's like probably two and a half hours in. He's like, how many times can I politely smile at my divorce? Yeah. This is getting quite brutal. A lot of the worst moments of my life are getting brought back up for laughs.

Also, like, Tom signed up for it. And everyone who roasts also signs up for, you know, like to get roasted as well but did Giselle because she got absolutely roasted. No, that's what you feel sorry for. People that aren't there.

She's not even there. Yeah, Kim Kardashian. Now, interesting choice that Kim Kardashian come along and talk about it. She got up on stage and the whole stadium started booing.

Yeah, which is really, really sad but she was actually really, really funny and she made a joke because of her dad obviously was one of the lawyers for OJ Simpson. So have a listen. Honestly, it's hard for me to watch people roast you,

but I think enough of my family members have helped defend former football players. It was a good joke. It went down well, yeah. And then Tom Brady, he gets to speak at the end of the night, and he got his own back on Kim. Kim Kardashian Kardashian thank you so much for being here I know Kim was terrified to be here tonight not because of this but because her kids are home with their dad I feel like Kanye's

gonna say about that in about a week Madonna's actually doing a free concert so she's doing a free concert in Rio in Brazil today

and they reckon have a guess how many people they reckon are going to turn up for this free concert it's already happened so I can tell you

how many people have turned up 9 million oh you've shot too high 9 million Jono have a guess what are you doing

anything below that I'll be disappointed 1.5 million it's a concert and all in the one space yeah that is it's incredible on a beach

on Copacabana beach they all turned up the record before that was 130,000 people like as far as turning up to you know you go to Eden Park

and it's packed at 50,000 and that's a lot of people that's the most we get in New Zealand but 1.5 million people it's crazy 3,000 cops were deployed

to look after I still don't feel like that's enough Brazil they did it with the Rolling Stones didn't they they did a concert

to a million people I think in the same location oh did they at the Copa the Copacabana well she said yeah she obviously I don't know if

it's a record or anything like that but it's pretty incredible free concert apparently the Rolling Stones and Rod Stewart

have also done a similar thing where they've drawn about a million people oh really to the beach what

what you just you just said that oh did you did you? Did you say Rod Stewart? No.

Rolling Stones. I thought you just repeated that. It sounded better coming from Megan. No, because I was reading while you were talking. She's repeating me. No, I definitely didn't think you were going to bring any facts. It sounded better coming from Megan. Megan's back more than John. Yeah, just so you didn't hear it like me.

Hey, I was just reading here that the Rolling Stones play for a million people. Oh my God, and so did Rod Stewart. Oh wow, there you go. Oh, well good on Madonna. Free concert. Yeah, it's pretty cool. That's amazing.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Do this every week. Things you can say in the bedroom and at a restaurant. Sorry, and whenever it is, but today we're going to do and at a restaurant and... When you say these things, you say these things in a restaurant no one bats an eyelid, but if you said it in the bedroom, I think eyelids

would be battered. Oh, definitely. Most definitely. They're very, yeah. Some of the tones... Some of these are very risque. Well, we can pick the ones that you want to read out. You can live edit, mate. Yeah. We'll leave all the rough ones for you. Thanks. Okay, we can pick the ones that you want to read out. You can live edit, mate. Yeah. We'll leave all the rough ones for you. Thanks. Okay, we ought to kick things off.

These are things you can say in the bedroom and at a restaurant. These are from you guys on social media. That sort of shirks our responsibility for this segment, doesn't it? Thanks for all your messages on the Hits Facebook page. Take it away, Megan. Whoa, slow down. It's not a race. You can say that in the bedroom and at a restaurant.

Yeah, eating too fast. Mind you, if you're having dinner with someone, you're having someone to slow down. It's not a race. You can say that in the bedroom and in the restaurant. Yeah, eating too fast. Mind you, if you're having dinner with someone, you're having someone to slow down, it's not a race. Yeah, true. Maybe they need to go back to learning how to eat properly. I get this one. Things you can say in the bedroom and in the restaurant. That's too spicy for me.

Well, that's left a bad taste in my mouth. You don't want that in either setting, do you? No, no, you're right, yeah. Stop, stop playing with it and just eat it. This is going to move

back to five to six, this part of the show. Oh, some of these are risque. Can I say this? Can I say my ass is going to burn after this?

Yeah, you've had something spicy. Yeah, it's a spicy. Yeah, exactly. It's a very small portion. You have something on your chin. Things you can say in the restaurant and the bedroom.

Do you have room for more? Can I just get a napkin to clean this mess up? If I'm honest, it looked better than it tasted. And we'll finish things off with, what do you reckon? How are we finishing things off? I don't know. Will you be eating out this evening, sir? Oh, there you go.

That's it. Okay, that's it. Things you can say in the bedroom and dot, dot, dot, and a restaurant today. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. Down in industry here. The milk carton industry. So what are you talking about with your milk cartons?

What we use now? Just what we use now? Yeah. Just your bottles? Yeah. It used to be the paper ones, eh? Yeah. Back in the day.

I don't know what happened to those. We had no issues with the paper ones. They wouldn't spill. They wouldn't do anything. For whatever, I mean, we're talking about, we're talking about inhabiting space,

but for whatever reason, you can't lie a bottle of milk down horizontally or else it leaks out the lid. Right, yeah. Even if you've just bought it, it's still got the little bloody, the peely thing on top. You can't put that thing on its side

without it looking, like it's like in a magical escape artist that milk. It is weird though because you're right it seems like it's double you know two things to stop it

from doing that. I mean sometimes it will be fine but yeah a lot of the but you're right once you've ripped off that little thing you definitely would never

Yeah no no no no monster. Monster but I thought I was in a safe zone yesterday when I bought home milk from the supermarket get up this morning his bloody leg

through the entire all over meat and everything. Milk's like, I am not content sitting in this bottle sideways. And we're talking about going to space, yet we haven't mastered keeping milk in a bottle, lying down. Let's get our priorities sorted. Do you want like a rocket hub on your milk bottle? Is that all you want? Because then you're going to have to pay like 50 bucks for your milk bottle. They're trying to keep the... How much are you

willing to pay for it? One or two times a year you're going to lie on its side. Listen, I'm not going to cry over spilt milk. I'm sorry you've got too much stuff in your fridge that you have to lie on the side. I'll just end up... I'll just complain. I won't pay top dollar for this milk bottle technology

I'd rather go to space you're going to give me the option I think we would alright anyone listening right now in the space departments and they were like oh we're stopping what we're doing

to look at milk bottles no don't it was one of those messes first thing in the morning and I know as breakfast radio hosts you two have been there as well where you discover

an early morning mess and you're like you ignore it could I pretend but then I'd open the fridge and I'd open the fridge. But did they know that you'd open the fridge? No. Well, they can't prove it, can they?

And you were in a hurry. If you'd opened the fridge, you didn't see it. You glanced over it. You've done that with urine before, haven't you? What's that? Dog urine. Oh, yeah. I was in my iron.

I was like, oh. Urine. Yeah, my iron levels are fine. Yeah, I've done that with stuff in the hallway. I was in my iron. I was like, oh. Urine. Yeah, my iron levels are fine. Yeah, I've done that with stuff in the hallway. Just left it there. It definitely was something. And it was dark. I couldn't see anything.

And it definitely happened between when you left and when they woke up. Yeah, totally. Yeah, totally. Even though I got a text, what? Oh, that happened. That was in the hallway. Oh, I never saw it this morning. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

The airport doing an interesting thing. They're auctioning off for some money for a charity. Things that people have left behind at the airport. Now, as expected, earphones, one of the most common things. Oh, yeah. Over 300 pairs of earphones, headphones, 120 bottles of duty-free as well because people, I guess, just leaving those at the airport. But then there's unusual items, I would have thought, like a Darth Vader replica helmet

and a signed frame photo of Lionel Messi, the footballer. So you'd think you would have tried to at least go back and get that stuff. Yeah, well, aren't these people going to go, hey, that's my stuff. Well, yeah, maybe after a while it's been left there. They're allowed to auction off White wedding dress as well. Yeah, all sorts of things. Apparently when you go to a police auction, you get some absolute bargains there for stuff that's been handed into the police

and no one's come to claim it or things that have been confiscated off, you know, have been bought through ill gain. Right. Is this done online? Can you go online and bid? I think you do have to pick it up though. Have we got someone in Sydney? Maybe you could do that do that would you wear another ladies wedding dress to a wedding you want another wedding come a previously stained address absolutely not I mean this is a good

option for your third wedding but do you know what my first wedding dress that could it could be it because PJ from the show she she wore my wedding dress and then she lost it. Never returned it. Not that I wanted it back. Maybe it's the airport. Maybe that's it. Have you ever brought this issue up with PJ? I did.

She's like, no, I brought it back. I'm like, no, you didn't, babes. You did not. Let's hash this out in the coming days. Get that wedding dress returned. Maybe she should give you her one now because she just got married a few weeks ago. That's a definite upgrade too.

It's a nice dress. Bring it after the show so we can borrow it. Eye for an eye. Yeah, see how that goes. Now, Ben, one of the things we love about you is your bang up poor ass impersonation. It's not even that good. I just like saying, that it does. And I'm not any good at it.

I'm no good at it. But it's just a fun thing to say. It's like, wow, wow, wow, that's very nice. That's very nice. Wow, wow, wow, that's very nice. It's just so fun. It's like, wow, wow, wow, it's very nice. Isn't that nice? Wow, wow, wow, it's very nice.

It's just a fun, it's like saying neck minute. It's a fun thing to say. What I love about Borat is it's kind of, it's traversed the bell curve of popularity.

You know, it was fun to impersonate, then it went really cringe almost. Oh, you couldn't do it. And then it's kind of found its way out

the other end now. Is it? Well, it's still a little cringey, but it's kind of funny. Wow, wow, wow, wow, it's still a little cringy, but it's kind of funny. Well, we were always a very nice. I love it when Ben goes full method

in the mankini as well when we're in the office. Otherwise, you don't know who I'm trying to impersonate, do you? Because you've done this a couple of times on the show. I don't know why I've done it

because I'm no good at doing voices. I'm shocking at impersonations too. Sometimes it's fun to do them. Someone's reached out though and they reckon they have a better Borat impersonation. Oh, better. Maybe a better Borat impersonation. It definitely has to be a better than mine. Sasha, good morning.

How are you? Good morning. How are you guys? We're doing really well. Now, when I say a better impersonation, Sasha, you've been nominated by one of your colleagues, saying you do hands down the worst Borat impersonation. I think it's a bit of a sit-up, really.

Okay, we'll hand the floor over to you. Yeah. Oh, that's very nice. It's nothing like it. Oh, I want to hear it again. That's good. Wow. It's very nice. Very nice.

It's nothing like a boring day. It's really good, though. It is good. Why are you doing it so high and dainty? Very nice. So when did you bust this out for the office? You know, it had just been round, and everyone was kind of, I think Tom was doing one, and then I just, you know,

I said, my wife. I thought it was really good it's my wife it's very entertaining it is very entertaining oh Sasha thank you this is what we want to open up

we want to open up the worst celebrity impression line not that Sasha's was bad that was bad I can't actually tell the difference between

wow wow you guys are very nice and you go Sasha wow, we were very nice. And you go, Sash. Wow, wow, we were very nice. That's so good, Sash. I appreciate you doing this. Good on you, mate. You're a legend.

Thank you. Yeah, so this is why we went over. Because, let's face it, 90% of people aren't that great at impersonations. No, but you do the impression. How about you do the impression and we'll try and work out who you're doing. Can I do one?

Go for it. I'll kick you off. Okay. How about you do the impression and we'll try and work out who you're doing. Can I do one? Go for it. I'll kick you off. Okay. Yeah, it was the honour of my life to be Prime Minister of New... Well, Helen Clark. You had to say Prime Minister though. First I'm like...

John Key, Jacinda Ardern. What are you doing here? The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. It's been really fun this morning getting people's celebrity impressions.

They can't be the only prerequisite is they can't be good. Yes. And we can't know what they are before you do them. I'm really shocking

at impersonations. I'm going to try one. Okay. Okay. Okay. Hi. Hey. Hi.

What are you doing? I'm here. Are you doing the guy from Madagascar? No. King Julian? Arnie. That's Arnie. Oh, yeah.

I didn't want to say I'll be back. Yeah. Arnie would have like a little bit of a stroke or something like that. I thought you were being like, I like to move it. Oh, like King Julian. Yeah. King Julian. Sorry.

Ben very frightened to say Arnold's last name. And Neil will never say his name. Or Snaggert. No, Neil will never pull it off. So that's the level that we want. Okay, this morning I know 800 of that. Old friend, howdy dad. How are you, mate?

We haven't seen you since we spent an extraordinary amount of time together handballing. Oh, you know, mate, just busy trying to get back onto family life, just trying to get away from you guys. I get a call like, hey, mate, want to come do your cool impersonation? I'm like, you know me, mate. I'll drop anything to do with impersonation. Oh, yeah, we've heard you do a very good impersonation. See if Megan, Megan wouldn't have heard this.

See if Megan can guess who this is, all right? Please don't build it up too much right are you ready yeah here it comes oh my god really strangely that's the only line that's only like six words I can do. If I have to say, hey, do you want a Big Mac and fries? Do you want a Big Mac and fries? It doesn't work. But then go back to that line.

Go back to. Oh, my God. Please say you do that to your partner. That is. That's how we made our first child. All right, Mr. Bombastic. That's how we made our first child. Alright, Mr. Bombastic, we'll let you go. Alright, catch you.

Thank you, Jordy. Alright, we're doing celebrity impressions. We've got to try and guess what they are. Tilly, take it away. What do you guess? Take it away, Tilly. You go do what you have to do and I'll love you with me. Go again? Sorry? So you go do what you have to do and I love your work, mate.

Love your work, mate. Is that me? Yes, John. Do I say love your work? You do say love your work. You got to do what you have to do. Love your work, mate. I was thinking, who else? You got to do what you have to do. Love your work, mate. Love your work, mate.

I love that she's roasting you. That was a great impression. Yeah, that's one of my wife's bugbears. You got to do what you have to do and love your work, mate. Love your work, mate. Yeah, that's the way, Megan. Love your work, mate. All right, Tilly.

Love your work, mate. Oh, very good. We're going to chuck you in the drawer of Rarotoga. All right? Appreciate that. All right, we're doing bad impressions. Take it away, Mike. Life's a waste of time.

Time's a waste of life. So why don't we just get wasted and have the time of our lives? Is this Sam Hunt? Oh, yep. Poet, legion. New Zealand poet, Sam Hunt, yeah. You're good at that. Very good.

What about, hey? I think I've done it wrong again, baby. Now we're getting old. What's that one? Is that Frank? Frank Spencer. Frank Spencer. The last 30 seconds

Going over quite a lot Of the audience's head But we appreciate it Mike hey well done We're going to put you In the draw for Rarotonga Alright my friend You take care my friend

I try and do Dumbledore To the kids You Harry Potter He does it real And the kids are like Sounds like Voldemort I thought it was Dumbledore

Sounds like someone On a respirator You Harry Potter No that's Voldem, he sounds like someone on a respirator. Like Voldemort. Harry Potter. No, that's Voldemort, you egg. He's also like that, but he also does the, okay, well, anyway, my kids don't like it either. The hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Why are you getting arrested?

Yeah, my son is learning to say sentences and he picks up things, little sentences that he quite likes. Yeah. So I was out in public with him and I wanted to pick him up and carry him because he was taking ages. He's having a tantrum. He's throwing down. He doesn't want to leave the supermarket. Sometimes I'm all for leashes.

I know. Leashes on children. You can see their, you know, I know it's frowned upon when you see a child in a leash but you're like that must be a runaway kid. I have a friend who has just admitted to us that she's got her son a leash. And I was like, do you know what?

No judgement mate. You do what you need to do. Yeah, you do what you need to do. Right. And so in this instance he's throwing down having a tanty. So I go to pick him up and so in this instance he's throwing down having a tanty so i go to pick him up and in front of a lot of people at the mall it's a supermarket in the mall he starts yelling don't touch my body don't touch my body powerful play yeah don't touch my body and i'm like oh this is my son i'm just trying to pick him up.

Doesn't sound like it's your son though, that situation, does it? When they figure that out, they can wield a lot, a lot of power over you. Yeah. Can you just say, don't pick me up? Like, don't touch my body comes with something like completely other connotations. And I was like, where did you learn that? I went to his daycare. They're like, we don't learn that here.

No, because I was like, oh, that's quite powerful, you know? I think toddlers pass it on to other toddlers. Once one toddler discovers, it's like, hey man, I have got the ultimate card you can pull out in any situation. Didn't your daughter do it to you? In what way?

Saying something like that? Were you like in a changing room or something and she wasn't responding? Oh, just recently going into the woman's changing room to help her out of there. It was like, Indy, please say yes, please say

you're in here because, yeah. Please say I'm your dad. That's a weird, that's a, yeah. When Poppy was very young, we were

in the supermarket, she's like, how about some chocolate? I was like, no chocolate. And she's like, I'll tell everyone

you're giving me child abuse in the supermarket by not buying me chocolate. I was like, here, here, shove that Kit Kat in your mouth, mate.

How many do you want? They're too smart. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. I just threw out some syphilis. I thought it was misinformation about Van Gogh, the artist, that he contracted this in the 1800s and it led to an infection of his brain, which then led to him slicing off his ears. Yeah, right.

You've got some articles that say he didn't. I've got articles that say he did. But it was the 1800s, so who knows? Even if it was the 1800s, he'd be like, hey, can we not write that down? I thought he cut it off and posted it to someone. Yeah. Like it was either a fight or a romantic thing. Maybe there's lots of rumors why he did it.

Either way, you don't want that down on public record, do you? No. Nowadays, you can do videos, can't you? A very public record. And yesterday, Ben, I was sitting in the car and one of the things that I love doing are videos for people. If there's a school fundraiser we'll do a video for that

fundraiser. Will we go to the fundraiser? Probably not. But we'll do a video. So hey good luck for the fundraising. And sitting waiting to pick up my son yesterday from basketball and knock at the window. And there's a young guy of early 20s, sort of university years.

And he said, oh, can you do me a favor and do a video for a family member? And I, yeah, okay. So I got out of the car. And he then told me it was for his 96-year-old nana who was essentially on her deathbed, or is essentially on her deathbed. She's not well. And he's like, it'll put a smile on her face. And I'm thinking, I feel like we're a few decades out from the target market here.

I don't know, she's probably going to watch and go, who is this strange bald man? And then I'm thinking, well, what do you say in that video? Yeah, true. You know, school fundraiser, good luck with the fundraising. You know, sports team, good luck with the competition. Good luck for what you've got left. It does put you in a, yeah. I don't know.

I was just like, you have a beautiful grandson. You must be very proud. Did that save it? Yeah, that's nice. Yeah, that's nice. Was there anything to do with her? Yeah. Love you.

What do you say to someone who's near the finish line of life, though? Have a lovely day. Thinking of you, maybe. I don't know. It's one of those. I'm sure her dying wish wasn't to have a message from the bald one from John or Ben. Pretty sure that wasn't a joke. I didn't think. Yeah, you're probably right. She didn't go out and request it, but he just took wasn't to have a message from the bald one from Jono and Ben. Pretty sure that was an idea. I didn't think, yeah, you're probably right.

She didn't go out and request it, but he just took the chance to get a message. Sometimes when you do those videos, you're like, where are these playing? Who's watching them? Who's getting inspiration from this? I'm sure there's going to be a lot of explaining to do bedside once he plays that to her. Yeah, to go, okay, you know this? Okay, you don't. No, I don't. I'll show you another video. She'll watch it and be like, oh, that's her. Yeah, to go, okay, you know this? Okay, you don't. No, I don't. I'll show you another video.

She'll watch it and be like, oh, that's lovely. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. The Met Gala going on in New York today, Megan. Yeah, actually, it gave us some great information

of what it's all about. I always see these photos of these celebrities looking amazing. Don't really understand what's going on. It is the one where they dress up

all crazy like and it's because it's a fundraiser for the Costume Institute. So there will be fancy clothes and whatnot on display inside where they're going. So that's where they're going. Yeah. That's what we also call Ben Boyce's garage, the Costume Institute. I can have a fancy dress up on the way to my garage if you want.

You could. He's got so many costumes in that garage he's collected over the years. You could have your own little Met Gala, couldn't you? On the driveway. A pretty random collection. Red carpet on the driveway. A random collection of costumes. Who's coming through as a swear jar?

Oh, what are you wearing today? It's a full green morph suit. There's a lot of costumes I wish I'd kept, but I have held on to a lot over the years. And so now it takes all my garage up and we can't park a car or do anything inside. But worth it? Well, I think it's worth it.

My wife definitely does not think it's worth it. My wife definitely does not think it's worth it. Anna Wintour would think it was worth it, mate. Well, that's right. Maybe she'd be married to Anna Wintour. She'd appreciate all those costumes. We could have our own Met Gala. Now, something else at the moment that I've noticed that's been happening in my household.

And at first I was actually really, like, I was flattered and I thought this was cool. But now I'm like, is it that cool? As my daughters, Indy and Sienna, started really getting into my t-shirts like really enjoying wearing like but to the point where i'll just be you know we'll go out somewhere about the morning i'll be like hang on that's my t-shirt and they're like oh yeah i like it and at first i thought well that's flattering but now i'm like well i'm missing

a whole lot of t-shirts they've just got from my they just claim them yeah what do you kids say that you make them and then they feel like they own everything that you have. You're like, I've paid for those t-shirts. But then I thought, well, maybe that's all right. Maybe I was, you know, because I wouldn't, growing up, I definitely wouldn't have worn one of Kevin Boyce's.

I don't think he wore a t-shirt probably back then. Well, you've got an Olivia Rodrigo t-shirt. Yeah, that's gone. That's gone. Is that what they're going for, like band tees? Oh, band, like, you know, sports tees, whether it's like a Lakers t-shirt or a Taylor Swift one. Is your Taylor Swift Ears Tour t-shirt?

That's gone. This is the problem when you're into the same musical artist as your daughters. Yeah. Even like the Lakers and all that sort of sports stuff, it's all gone into circulation. I'm like, okay, well, maybe that's all right that I'm kind of cool enough to have t-shirts that they like to wear.

Yeah. But then at the same time, you know, you'll be eating some dinner and then I'll be like uh-oh one of my daughters are wearing the t-shirt now I'm sort of watching them eat their meal going they're gonna spill your white Olivia Rodrigo t-shirt just be careful what you eat that thing and so you're having dinner across the table just going oh they're gonna spill in my head I'm just thinking they're gonna spill something it's only a matter of time it doesn't matter though because you're having dinner across the table just going, in my head I'm just thinking, they're going to spill something. It's only a matter of time they're going to spill something. It doesn't matter though because you're not getting it back. No, I know.

It's gone. I know. It's quite a cute little thing today that my daughter does. She's off to camp today. Indy's off to camp for a few days. With your T-shirts? One of my T-shirts with her. And I noticed in the bathroom yesterday she was spraying

and I was like, cologne. I'm like, what are you doing with that on the T-shirt? She's going, I just thought because I miss you. At least I'll be wearing your T-shirt. And I was like, at and I'm like what are you doing with that on the t-shirt and she's going I just thought because I miss you at least I'll be wearing your t-shirt and I was like at least it will smell like you and I was like that was a cute thing

that is the cute you need to hold on to that while it lasts but also like don't take my t-shirt to camp it's going to come back dirty and you know well she's going to be spraying it

to smell like her boyfriend one day oh geez don't say that so enjoy it while it lasts. Lap it up, Dad. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. Jono played overnight a free concert in Brazil.

1.6 million people turned up on the beach to watch it. That's a lot of people. Incredible, eh? Is it the biggest concert in the world? Surely. You're not going to beat 1.6 million. We were saying earlier a couple of other bands, Rolling Stones and who else was it? Rod Stewart.

Rock and Rod. He thrusted his pelvis at the Brazilians to just over a million of them. Okay, so that's the biggest city in New Zealand, Auckland. That's the entire population of Auckland. Everyone in Auckland turning up to the concert on the beach. On Copacabana Beach. 1.6 million is Auckland's population. That's crazy.

How big is that beach? I know. And when the tide comes in, you're like, oh, we've just lost 1.6 million is Auckland's population. That's crazy. How big is that beach? I know. And when the tide comes in, you're like, oh, we've just lost 0.6 million people. I'm pretty much coming off the laziest 14 days of my existence, really, where there's been two weeks of I just know we haven't been bothered to cook dinner. It's been bakery food for the kids. It's been fish and chips. Now it got to the point on Sunday evening where I was like,

what do we want to do tonight? Sunday night, fish and chip takeaways. And my daughter Poppy went, made that exasperated, and I'm like, like okay this is a sign that enough is enough so too many takeaways for the kids

too many and some of it spilled over into the school holidays as well yeah right where the ultimate height of laziness if it was deep fried

we're having it for dinner that was the general rule of thumb but then actually when you go back to eating like a normal vegetables and

you know things that stuff that actually features on the food pyramid you're like wow this actually makes you feel great it's like yeah sometimes when you do go away for a bit you know sometimes yeah all of a sudden you want to come home and go i just want to have something cooked at home with the vegetables always crave broccoli yeah yeah uh so this one i want to open up this is This is purely selfish reasons to make myself feel better. 0800, that's your laziest parenting moment. You can't be on all the time. You can't be 110.

But I mean, you didn't cook for like two weeks. You can't be on all the time, Megan. You can't be on all the time. You weren't on any of the time, to be honest. You take those two weeks over my entire lifespan, it'll be a blip. Can't be on all the time.

Are your kids eating veggies, though, at the moment? Yeah, no, they're back in. They were definitely craving them. There were certain vitamins that weren't floating around in their body that needed to be there. So, yeah, laziest moment as a parent. Being boys, you must have had a couple. I know you're an active guy.

Yeah, I try not to be too lazy when it comes, but, you know, there are times. But I do remember my mum, we kept missing the bus. We'd always have to get the bus from school on the Wairarapa, and then she made us, which I guess was kind of lazy, get in our school uniforms the night before and go to bed in our school uniforms. So when we woke up, we were good to go.

So she didn't have the hassle of, like, put your shoes on, put your socks on. She's like, this one's tomorrow, we're not going to miss the bus. You guys are all getting your school uniforms. What about your undies? I know, the whole thing.

Except the shoes. The only thing I didn't have on were my school shoes. Had she packed the lunches previous night? Well, she was trying to get everything sorted the night before.

That's actually very smart. Yeah, that would take out a lot of yelling and nagging admin first thing in the morning. Just get in your school uniform and be like, now go to bed in them so youging admin first thing in the morning. Just get in your school uniform. They're like, now go to bed in them so you're ready to go in the morning. So yeah.

And we made the bus for once. You didn't feel fresh though. No, definitely did not feel fresh. Something's a bit weird. You smell of it. You've got your bed gunk all over you. Yeah. So 800 of the hits.

Laziest moment parenting. Come on, Megan. I'm trying to think of, I'm trying to think. Oh, you and your perfect marriage. No, I just. We just can't be lazy. I've only had the kids for like three years. Give me a shot. The hits. The Jono and Ben

podcast. I want to talk about the laziest thing you do as a parent. I do remember too when Oscar our son was younger he was on the couch and he vomited. This wasn't the time where I was also sick and just marinated in the contents of what came out. It's kind of like I caught it with my hand

and I was like, I can't be bothered going to the bathroom and washing this off. So I just opened the window and Spider-Man flung it out the window into the garden. But what did you do with your hand after that? Just let it dry, mate.

Let Mother Nature tend to that. Oh, it's so grim. Laziest thing you've done as a parent. We're going to get Anna on. Welcome. How are you this morning? I'm good, thank you. Okay.

Can you beat that, Anna? Oh, I don't know. Well, my one was, well, I was having breakfast and I forgot to grab the milk. And then I called out to my son who was in the room to come and get me the milk. But I was in just a couple of steps away. You're only a step away. So you called your son.

Oh, that's genius. Yeah, that's smart. Using technology as well. Yeah. And you got the end result was a win for you. Yeah. But then he got mom. Yeah.

Yeah. There he is. Thank you for your call, and I really do appreciate it. I don't mind taking stuff down. Again, I don't tell the family, but when I need to do washing, because washing gets away on you, doesn't it? Yeah. Really quickly, too. Just a day or two can, yeah. You change some sheets, and gets – because washing gets away on you, doesn't it? Yeah. Really quickly too.

Just a day or two can – yeah. And you change some sheets and you're like, oh, my goodness, all this washing. So I will sometimes take it down to the lovely lady just down the road, laundry mat. She washes and she dries and she folds. And I bring it back and I put it away and I get great compliments from everyone. Do you? Yeah. Everyone's like, good on you for doing this.

And do you have it on display like on the dining room table? Oh, well, yeah. Sometimes I leave it on the couch like I've done it like take it out of the sink smart she's got the lady who works here

has the best memory I think in New Zealand like incredible like she has got washing baskets and bags just as high as the roof everywhere and she'll come in

and I'd never give a name I'd never give a thing a basket and she'll just go yep and she'll walk over there and always grab the basket I'm like I don't even know

what basket I've given her. Does she not write things down? She doesn't write it down. That's my washing. She must know the entire suburb purely by their underpants and blouses. Exactly, yeah. It's incredible. You wanted to get her on the radio about that, but she refuses to come on.

So Ben has never been able to prove how good this lady's memory is. Apart from going in there every now and again and going, well, maybe she'll forget which one mine is this week, but no, lady's memory is. Apart from going in there every now and again and going, well, maybe she'll forget which one mine is this week, but no. She's got it. Laziest thing I've done as a parent was just over the weekend where I pretended to be asleep on a couch

for six hours so no one would bother me. I was just lying there with my eyes open. Turned towards the cat. That is smart. Yeah, that is.