Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL SHOW: Jono needs to stop thinking everyone wants a photo with him...

Episode Date: July 15, 2025

On today’s show: Ben turns detective and tries to guess how his wife knows random people — it's become a full-on game. Is Megan the only one who does this weird habit while watching TV? Our entertainment reporter gives us the inside scoop on what really went down during the infamous "poop cruise." We put the best excuses to the test — what's the ultimate way to get out of something? Ben goes all in and tests Megan’s heated eyelash curler live on air (what could go wrong?). Instagram: @THEHITSBREAKFASTFacebook: The Hits Breakfast with Jono, Ben & MeganSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The John O'Bannon Megan podcast thanks to HelloFresh, your home advantage for delicious midweek dinners everyone will love. Welcome to the podcast on a Wednesday morning. Jeez, there's a phone top popping off in another market for the hits, isn't there? Well, so yeah, because there are multiple shows on the radio station. What's happening? They talk about chocolate at the moment. How much chocolate do you eat out of a block?

I'm guessing that's what the thing is. A lot of people, do they take a row? Do they take more than a row? It depends on the day of the what the thing is. And for a lot of people, yeah, like, do they take a row? Do they take more than a row? It depends on the day of the week and how well the day has gone, I guess, too, for a lot of people. You're not chocolate connoisseur, are you? No, I was like, I can't remember the last time I sat down with a block of chocolate. I don't mind it, but I wouldn't, yeah, I don't crave it or anything like that.

If you opened a block, like, how do you eat it? Oh, I'm a monster. I can't, like, I'm either all in or nothing. Probably pretty much. I run my day today. It's either all go or nothing. Yeah, I can't trust myself. Once you've opened it, it's like... Nightmare. And I've just got into the bloody caramel scorched almonds.

I've tried those. Caramel scorched almonds. No, not caramel, but caramel flavored scorched almonds. You just stand on one of those little morsels and then it's... Scorched almonds, no not caramel, but caramel flavored scorched, oh. Oh. Gee, you just sound on one of those little morsels and then it's... Scorched almonds in general are like... They are, yeah. Although some people don't like the almonds, almonds are my favorite part of them. Yeah, same.

Scorched almonds, why do you love almonds? Have you tried? Okay, okay, so here's something... Nuts in my jam. Nuts in my jam too, love nuts. You guys are nerds. No, me and I go out, we always end up ordering the same thing. Have you tried those ones, what are they called?

And they've only got a thin bit of chocolate on them. Oh, they're like the skinny... Skinny! And they've got like flavors on the outside, like a raspberry... There's like a raspberry white... A little raspberry white chocolatey thing. Because the nut's still the hero, but then it's got a little like... Yeah, you're still chamfering the nuts. But yeah, you're right, they've got like a little sexy lingerie on.

Yeah, like a little pink outfit on the nut. They're like, oh yeah, you like the nut? Well, you're going to get a little bit more. Yeah, those are good. You're about to say there's more where that came from, but there isn't. It's all you're getting. Let me introduce you to some of my friends. Very seductive, those nuts, yes I know exactly what you're talking about. So they're healthy with a little bit of naughtiness. They're a little naughty, they're a little naughty when you want to just dip your toes into a...

You don't want to go full swinger mode, you're just like I'll just have a little look. We're just sexy upper scorched almonds. Whatever works for you. Alright, we'll do it in the podcast. One thing is that you'll live longer than I will, so that's the way. Have a great day. I actually would love those of you in the career industry just to be listening here and maybe offer me some advice because I think I have a gut feeling I know what the answer is but I will you know I just want to get the official word so yesterday Korea turns up to the to the household knock on the door hey mate how are you? Good great good transaction he's like I'll just I'll just grab a photo I was like oh of course mate

who am I to deprive a fan of a photo with his favorite radio host so I said give it here we'll do a selfie we'll do a selfie so I held the phone up selfie handed the phone back you're gonna have a good day little fella yeah reach for your dreams that sort of stuff then he said do you mind if we have on with the package and I'm like you know that's all good and then I grabbed the phone again and we held the package up like it was a miracle child took another selfie now I handed it back. He's like, thank you Now as he left I went oh dear God

Maybe it's common practice that they need photographic evidence that delivers a package and he was too polite to And he's gone back to the courier depot and go you'll never guess what asshole I just read and now my face and that selfie is being sent around the email system of the courier company do you think because that's my gut feeling yeah well definitely well yeah otherwise he would let us this kind of shenanigans all the time you guys need to tune your egos down we do we do we're now self-pissed narcissists I've dialed it back now I know that whatever you'd never be sure I know that. Whatever. You'd never be sure. Never be 100% sure. He once said, the courier said to him, or can you sort of get your signature?

Yeah, but in my defense, we were chatting about the TV show. He goes, well before I go, better grab your signature. And then he went for the package after I went. Ben said, I'm not that famous mate, but here you go. And then he's like, alright. I'm not that famous mate. He's like, I know. I just need you to sign for the package. Yeah, when you're doing your signature on the little handheld screenheld screen thing, where you're not like, oh, man. Well, okay. It was back in the 1930s, mate.

Awesome cart delivery. So yeah, I mean, I'm 95% sure I know what's taking place, but I'd like it just confirmation. They do like the photo now, which I guess fair enough, so they can say. Yeah, I understand. Yeah, not necessarily of the person. Yeah, because then if you can't find it, you go to the dep... You go and do an inquiry and

they'll send you a photo of where they've left it. And so you should put an inquiry in and it'll be a little picture of you. One time I came out and picked up the package and boxed my boxer shirts and a ratty old singlet and the guy took the photo and I was like, oh this is not a great shot. Where's this photo going? He showed that around the office for different reasons. Yeah, he's like, just get a photo and you're like, okay. He's like, do you remember Ben from the TV? You never guess what he looks like. This is not a great shot. Where's this photo going? He showed that around the office for different reasons.

Yeah, he's like, just get a photo and you're like, okay. He's like, do you remember Ben from the TV? You never guess what he looks like now. Now, the feature photo on bleak.com. Yeah, it wasn't great. It wasn't great. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast.

The Hits. Fix you. Oh, it's a great song. It's Coldplay, Fix You. It is The Hits breakfast. Jono, Ben and Megan. Hey tonight, it is the hits breakfast, Johnna Benham, Megan and hey tonight, maybe they need a little bit of that playing for Sonny Bill and Paul Gallan's fight because things are pretty tense right there.

I don't know much about fighting but those two don't like each other. Both of them ex league players, they've got a bit of history there and last night at the press conference, and I know boxing's all about trying to sell the thing. You do wonder if it's all show. But they do not seem to like each other. Have a listen. Remove all these chairs and get it done right now. I'd love to be locked in a room with you and see who walks out. You are a scumbag, man.

You are a disgusting human being. You walk around like you help the community and do this and that for people and you go and charge small business, thousands of dollars to help them. All right, we might save some of this venom for Wednesday. I want to know, brother, I want to know, did you take performance enhancing drugs? No, no, I was given them by my club. Oh okay. You know you're losing argument when you start to intimidate?

You imitate them sorry not intimidate. So there you go big fight tonight in that one. I watched the extended version too. Paul Gallon was like well let's just get down, strip down, do our underpants. Why did they need to get into our undies now. Do it now Why did they need to get into their undies? Unnecessary mate. That's what you do mate. That's what you want to fight. You want to get your undies. You want me to fight? Get your undies right down mate. Roll all around that floor.

They're holding you back again. Really fun game. You get the baby oil. Something across a really really fun game in the weekend. My wife and I were at the supermarket together We're going along getting some stuff and she ran into someone that she knew. Now I didn't know this person, it was another couple but they saw each other, my wife and this other lady and they ran towards each other, very excited, embraced, oh so good to see you and they had a big conversation and got caught up in the conversation reminiscing and I ended up standing next to this person's partner, it was me and him and I was like, oh g'day, I'm Ben. And he was like, g'day. And then we went, wonder how they know each other?

Because they were so caught up in their conversation that they didn't say, oh this is my friend from school. So then him and I spent the next probably two to three minutes going, so what school did your partner go to? No, okay, it wouldn't be school, wouldn't be school. Trying to die a secret. Trying to work out. What did your partner do in? No, okay, it wouldn't be school, wouldn't be school. Trying to die a second. Trying to work out. What's your partner do in the line of work, not teacher? Schools, what things they went through, what jobs, you know, and then we decided that they worked together, we worked out the school that they taught across the thing.

And then after three minutes of conversation with my wife and her friend, they finally went, oh, sorry, we need to introduce you guys. We're like, oh no, we know each other. We figured it out. You guys met together and you worked at that. They're like, yeah, how'd you know? We're like, it was a really, really fun.

We had nothing else to talk about. Three minutes to bond and. But it was a fun game. I knew I'd done that with pretty much a stranger, but we worked out how we knew each other. Did you switch phone numbers? No, we didn't quite get to that. I don't know if we caught.

It's amazing how quickly guys can just make mates. It's just like, you've got two minutes and suddenly you're pals, you know? And that was a really nice way to fill two minutes. Rather than talking about the weather or anything like that, it was trying to work out a connection. I feel like I've done more of these than anyone else. What's been some of your big bangers in the past? Oh, you're smelling your ear holes? My ear lobes, my piercing smell.

Yeah, they were stinky. I get dressed on the toilet. I think you might have missed that one, Charlie. Yes, yes. Every single day, I get dressed on the toilet. On the toilet, yes, she goes to the toilet and puts it, yeah, clothes up. But I'm not the only one, lots of people do that.

Yeah, it was surprising. A lot of people sit first thing in the morning, get changed and then start their day. It's like a little transition, like Superman in the telephone booth. When I go to the gym, I get dressed on the toilet. I take my gym gear, get dressed. Have you made, utilized the toilet previously?

So you're like, get ready, and then you just take your... Yeah, yeah, yeah. So anyway, so today, something else that you think you might be the only person doing. So I mentioned this yesterday, and everyone here was like, that's weird. I just do it all the time and I think you get used to it.

When I'm watching shows, particularly on Netflix, I watch them at speed. So you can speed it up. So I watch in 1.5 or 1.25 to make it go past quicker. Oh, so the dialogue runs. Yeah, right. I can get through the episode quicker. Have you watched the movie Speed? On the speech? Speed, yeah. Okay so let's,

we've got some examples here. Because it is quite, it does sound a lot quicker. Kind of like that Superman ride on the Gold Coast. This is Jaws normal speed. Okay. You're gonna need a bigger boat classic line, okay All right, and now this is jaws it what do you run it at? You're gonna need a bigger boat Yeah, I feel like I like getting stuff done I feel like I might adopt this, it's like going to but it's like going to a restaurant and go hell If everything on the menu put it in a blender and I'll smash a smoothie and I'll hit on my way We're impatient. We're an impatient generation. It's just trying to get through. Here's Shrek. This is Shrek at normal speed

That's it right there. That's Dulac. I told you I'd find it. So That must be Lord Farquaad's... So there's the normal speed. Okay. And on 1.5... So that must be Lord Farquaad's castle. That's kind of funny. It seems funnier than the fast speed. And I also have subtitles on, so if there's even any bit that you don't really understand,

you can read it. Okay. So on average, say you watched a 60 minute show What would it cut down to? Hmm on 1.5 like I reckon I'd save Like 10 minutes Yeah, okay, that's like a good saving Well, and also 15 minutes Okay, yeah, well maybe maybe I'm converted maybe you're not the only one that's going to be doing it. 0800THATS4487.

My wife listens to audio books, she listens to a lot of books. She sees she reads books. I'm like, you're not reading, anyway. But yeah, in the same width, the speed like that, 1.5. I speed up my Siri too when it's reading messages and stuff. We could do our radio show on 1.5 and finish 45 minutes earlier. Show's done by quarter past eight every day. Done. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. We're talking about Megan and whether she's the only one that does something which is watching something in 1.5 speed on

Netflix Megan. Yes and we have done some calculations because you poo-pooed this a little bit. How much time am I actually saving? So on average, say a movie's about two hours long, I can save a third of it. So that will knock off 40 minutes of the movie. Geez, you've really turned viewing into a chore. Haven't you just knocked it like you're cramming

and studying on the night before? Yeah, but over like a full year, if I'm saving that on every movie I watch, I can get back like 10 full days. Sometimes movies are getting longer and longer for some reason, eh? Oh, there's so many three hour movies. You can nip a wee bit out of these things. He always comes out of a movie, he's like, yeah, they could have lost the intro there.

Still great, but just... He does some live editing in his head, would have lost that. When I go to the cinema and I can't speed them up, I'm always like, oh, this feels a bit slow. I listened to it at an Australian radio show a few months ago. I was just trying to listen. And I was like, wow, this is amazing. I was going to come and tell you guys.

I was like, this is incredible, the stuff they're doing. It's going so fast. And then I realised I'd knocked the speed to double. I was like, they're really pacing things up. They are hyped up. I was like, wow, we need to wear relaxed. And we're like, where? And then I was like, oh, I need to wear relaxed. And we're like, where? And I was like, oh, I can see why.

I accidentally hit double the speed. So yeah. Getting three hours of radio done in one. They were powering it. Smashing it. Okay, so 800 hertz. Is Megan the only one watching on 1.5? I'm almost not the only one.

Rebecca, good morning. I, sometimes, but my trick is, my kids will want to watch like a quick video before bed They'll have like 10 minutes time that they could do whatever before bed So I'll say yep you can watch this video, it's 10 minutes But I'll put it on like 1.5 speed or something like that so that it goes through faster So it's only like 7 minutes Oh the kids don't notice. Kids love everything fast.

Great play. But what sort of generation are we creating? I mean, it'd be ideal remote control to have in your life, too, someone's just babbling. Yeah, sweet it up. Yeah. I pretty much said movie Click, I know, and Sandler. Oh, yeah.

He's already come up with the stuff. But then in the movie, we're too far. We're too far. Yeah, yeah, slow it down. Well that's a good trick, a good little hack for night time viewing. Thank you so much Rebecca. You're welcome. A lot of Tex people doing the same as well.

It would also look like the actors were bored of the movie and they had places to be as well. I'm late for an appointment. They're trying to get through it as well. Everyone's just trying to get through it. They're trying to get through it as well. Everyone's just trying to get through it. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The Hats. One of the biggest documentaries on Netflix right now, it's called The Poop Cruise.

The true story of a cruise ship is from 2013 and it had a major mechanical failure in the middle of the ocean and over 4,000 people were on board. They were stranded at sea for five days and with no flushing toilets and stuff. So basically they had to deal with a lot of raw sewage running through. It was just terrific. It was a holiday from hell for four and a half thousand people. It was immediately crisis mode. The toilets weren't working.

Well we can do a number one in the shower and then. The ship is on fire. What the is happening on this cruise ship? I thought they missed a trick not calling it shit They obviously went for the family-friendly option Now there was an entertainment coordinator on there by the name of Jean. She was lovely wasn't she's on as part of the crew Running the activities. Yeah Obviously their activities had to stop. You just got to keep positive.

We did enjoy it. We had laughs. But you just got to get on with it. It is what it is. Nothing you can do. Let's make the most of it. So that was Jen from the Pukery. Sounds like a battle.

Yeah, she's great. Very hard case. She's great on the documentary. And Nicole, who we speak to in the USA, she actually spoke to Jen from the Pukers. Sounds like a bad laugh. Yeah, she's great. Very hard case. She's great on the documentary. And Nicole, who we speak to in the USA, she actually spoke to Jen during the week. Nicole! I mean, it's so funny because Jen, we just had, I had so many questions. How did she remain so positive?

Did she think that she worried people were going to come after her? Like if I had been on that ship and she was like, good morning, hopefully you guys got some sleep. I would want to knock her out. She was actually like a sweetheart and we couldn't believe the things that she told us. She, after they got to safety and it was time for everybody to get off, they, the people on the boat said, okay, like, can we put you in a hotel? She said no. And she stayed on the boat that night. She slept another night on the poop cruise. Why? Yes! When she was, I don't know,

she was like, it was fine. There was some loose ends to tie up. She also has loose bends. She also has not stopped. She still works as an event coordinator. She's not working for the company, but she still does cruises for the past like eight years or so and loves it. She also said that they made it seem way worse than it was. Come on, Jen. I was like, I do. There's how is it? How? It was it was bad. It doesn't get worse. She said people there where they still had some fun, like they were still doing

like like dancing and activities. I was like, no, they weren't. Like you're just lying down. Opening the bar, I thought was a controversial move on day three. Well, also, like number one, because then people are going to start fighting, which they did, right? Start fighting, get a little too drunk. But then also, you already, why do you want to consume more so then more has to come out

of you? Yeah, that was a weird, she said they shut that down pretty quickly and realized it was a big mistake. Oh yeah, same to these guys, you know, if there's any moment in time where Mother Nature would give you a pass out, chucking that stuff overboard. Why don't they get a barge or something? Chucking the bags on the barge? You really are humbled if you were on that. I actually know somebody was telling me one of their friends was on it and still has PTSD to this day. When the documentary came out I was like, I cannot watch this. Why, why do they nobody wants to know about this?

No one needs. And then when they were the tugboat got them, when the tugboat got them and then the whole swishing, swishing. Yeah. Oh, no. The swishing of all that. You wouldn't want to go on another holiday. But then you watch at the end of the people that have talked about it. They've like they've gone on other cruises as the daughter and the thing that they they go back into it again. They love it. So yeah. I understand the whole like, get back

on the horse, right? But like, no, I'm not, we'd never get back on that horse. I'm good, horseless. Did they fix the ship up or did they just push it out to sea and go? Oh my God, the cleaning crew. Right? I mean, I would hope that they burned it to the ground. No, but she did say that it like enlisted some like change in the industry that they have certain things on the on the cruise ships now that make it so you know, there's like a second generator. And it wasn't the people I guess on the boats fault, you know, and I think that like you talked to that lady, you know, and that's why I guess they've run came off and they said the crew were actually pretty amazing through the whole situation. Yes, yes. They were the heroes, right? They did semi keep calm.

And again, I think as a passenger, I would have that would have like enraged me. Like stop pretending it's going to be okay. Stop telling me that I had a good night's sleep. Appreciate your time, mate. You're going to have a great day. Jono, Bian and Megan. The podcast. The heads.

Now Lord is very excited. Kiwi fans are very excited that Lord is going to be performing in Auckland and Christchurch in February next year on your ultrasound world tour. Now, producer Grace has just come back from being quite sick. Great to have you back producer Grace. Hi everyone. It's nice to be back. Lovely to see you back. I knew you were sick because we share the same chat GPT account and the whole time it's like, how do I remove gently remove phlegmlegm you know antibiotics I can take the whole time I'm thinking there's a

doctor just go see a doctor. I had seen the doctor and they were just a bit bad so you know I had to check with Jack GPT. It's great to have you back and straight away you know you're still just fighting your feet and we're like you bring us straight back on here. I was like guys it's been five minutes please give me a break. This is a tough gig. But this is you know super topical just mentioned Lorde you know performing in New Zealand. You've come in you got tickets while you were sick. Yes I got tickets luckily I was sick so I was sitting by my computer it was the most stressful 10 minutes of my life. It was not fun at all. Google chat GPT how do I deal with stress? Is it pre-sales that are sold out

or is it just all tickets now sold out? It's all still pre-sale happening in the moment. Wow. Yeah, crazy. It's so intense. Well, you can chill now because you've secured yourself tickets. Yeah, as soon as I like, pressed bought, I was like, I can breathe. I had a nap, so. She'll put on more shows, surely. Yeah, well, maybe she will. Someone's partner at work apparently came home yesterday and they were like, they were in tears. And they were like, what's wrong? What's going on?

And they apparently missed out on Lord tickets. So that's what some people were doing, right? That's a fair enough reason to cry. I would try to. So what's the cost? What are we talking cost-wise for it? So I got like back right corner, still kind of low down. It was 190 each. Okay, so it's not crazy. It's about 400. Not crazy in today because it feels like we're, again, it sounds like we sound like old people ranting, but concert tickets have got really expensive.

Oh, $20. You would have seen it for 20 bucks back in the day. Radio station would have given you like 900 tickets that you'd give your friends I also got Lenny Kravitz the other day with some mates and just GA standing for Lenny Kravitz for like 220 bucks Wow Yeah, like that's you're like all the GA's are standing You know it'll be like 80 bucks 100, 100 bucks, you know, not anymore. But then you've got to realise that New Zealand's such a pain in the arse to get to. Oh yeah, yeah. Isn't it?

Um, who's Lanny Cravett's? Yeah, I'll hold ya. Okay. Zoe Cravett's is dad. Uh, okay. Yeah, you can put that into ChatGBT after this. Oh well, don't worry. Oh well done on getting Lord tickets and hopefully if you tried to get them,

you're listening, hopefully you got them. And rest assured she'll do another one of- Well if if you haven't we've got tickets to give away this week yeah Thursday and Friday on the show we've got some tickets to give away for Lord so stay tuned. Why don't we just keep them for ourselves. Oh we don't have sorry. Sorry yeah we don't have tickets to give away for Lord. We can make people do some dastardly things for those tickets. Yeah. People they really they leave their morals at the door when situations like this arise. Hey, well good on you Grace, well done. Great to have you back Grace. Thank you. Have you got enough in you to do the New Zealand Herald Daily Quiz? The quiz queen can do it.

No, I don't think so. I ran through it. I think I can do it. I ran through it and I went, they're going to suck. She's not up to what's winding up Gens either. No. She's not up for that. That's not happening today. She's not passionate about anything at the moment. There's nothing in me. I've got nothing to give. Dead inside you poor thing. What's winding up us is you don't know who Lenny Kravitz is. That's not happening today. She's not passionate about anything at the moment. There's nothing in me. I've got nothing to give. Dead inside you poor thing. What's wedding up us is you don't know who Lenny Kravitz is. That's what wedding goes up.

He's Zoe's Kravitz dad. Oh yeah, well yeah, he's smarter than that, but anyway. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hats. Yesterday we just talked about an app idea that I had which was sort of an app that generates unpenetrable excuses, bulletproof excuses for you to get out of stuff.

You know, weddings, birthdays, meetings. Just social gatherings you don't want to go to. Christenings, circumcisions, whatever. This thing will get you out of any event. So it's listening to you the whole time, kind of like Siri or Alexa. And so it hears, oh, oh, oh, mates, and a bit of a predicament here then ping your phone goes and oh sorry I can't make your birthday I've got pilates, hot yoga pilates or something and Megan after the show was like I I've just thought of a great name for the app. What? Alep-bye, Alip-bye. Like al-a-bye. Alip-bye. Alip-bye. All in the pronunciation.

It's probably quite a written... It's better written down. Yeah. Excuse me. Yeah. That's better. Oh, that's not bad. Yeah, that's much better. At least you know what it is. Alip-bye. Alip-bye. Alip-bye sounds like you've committed a heinous crime and you need some help with that. No, I'm more vegan. Excuse me is way better. Excuse me, you know, excuse me. You know, excuse me. Yeah, it's great. Yeah. Now after the show you're like, I've got an excuse

that I've used that no one can find any holes in. No dents in this armour. Apart from your own guilt, but you can get over that. Okay, so what is it? So like Megan, do you want to come around to mine and Friday night we're having potluck dinner? Oh, I'd love to but I'm giving blood. I'm donating blood late in the afternoon. I actually don't deal well with it but like I do it anyway so it just usually knocks me out for the day. Oh that's not bad. As soon as the chance might come but you'll just have to see how things go. Yeah I'll see how I feel. Usually I just get a bit tired. And it makes you sound incredibly generous at the same time too. But you're a morally horrible person. I would be guilted and actually swinging by the blood service after I'd usually show it. If that's what you need to sleep, then do that too. At least put a little plaster on your arm or something when I see your neck.

You'll be like, ooh, but tender. Yeah, you put it on your shoulder and they're like they actually take it from the elbow Donating blood that's pretty rock-solid excuse What's the best excuse that we can put into the Alep by system or the excuse me system named TBC? That you can't no one can find any holes in yeah, we've got a cabri pack We've still got to give away this morning. Thanks to cabri so oh oh, Andrew the Hits, 4487, tell us your best excuse. Probably needs to be a little testing system. Can you Google it?

You know, like the excuse. Could you find a flaw in the excuse just by looking on the internet? Yeah, I guess a lot of parents would maybe say, you know, kids can be something that they can use from time to time. Oh, the kids were a rough night with the kids, that sort of thing.

I want to get found out though. Like, yeah. But everyone's like, oh, Sydney, stop talking about your kids, I'm out. You know, it is probably pretty bulletproof. You could just go, oh soon as you start talking about your kids I'm out. It is probably pretty bulletproof. You just go oh the kids and they're like yeah sweet ass. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The Hats. Good to know the best excuses on 4487. Megan's is, I'm giving blood if she wants to get out of something.

Horrible person. I haven't used it before. I just came up with it yesterday when we were talking. Do you remember a few years ago there was a movie, we were talking to Jermaine Clement, you know, from Flight at the Concourse, very funny actor. I know what he's getting at. There was a movie premiere that night and we did have a work thing that we couldn't go, that's why. And so he asked us, he's after the interview, he's like, you're coming along to the movie? You're coming tonight? And Jono's like, oh no, we had a work thing.

And then Jono said, but it got cancelled. And then he went, sort of looked at Jono weirdly Johnny weirdly he goes okay, so you had a work thing He was like and now you're free, so but you just don't want to come Tiger was here too Something on but now he's free, but so like okay Just said no. We had a work thing on which was the case. Come as my mouth keeps moving. But then it got cancelled they're like okay well now you can come. So just said we had a work thing on full stop shut your lips idiot.

So yeah rock solid excuses that's what we're after this morning. Stacey, morning. Hi. Lovely to have you on. Your rock solid excuses. Unpenetrable. I should stop trying to say that word. Take it away. So I think that the best one is, sorry, I can't come because I've got my period. You have to kind of put a little bit more into it,

like saying, I have really heavy periods at the moment. Oh you get to drill down on the details. Especially if it's like if I was to say it to Jono and Ben you know they'd just be like no more questions. I totally understand. I'll drive myself back from the airport that's all good. Exactly. Well no actually now you've just made me want to go next time. How heavy is it? Proof. You can ask folks. Yeah we'll go into more details. So many more details about cloths and... Yeah okay no. What I'm just going to say right now is you've got a... You got the day off. You don't have to turn up to the wedding. It's okay. I'm pretty sure I've got a whole week off.

Yeah okay. Don't worry. Take the rest of the year off. Treat yourself. Full play. Full play. We're going to get you a Cadbury Prize back coming your way alright. Awesome. Thanks so much. You can head to cadburytrytimes.co.nz to get your prize back. Thanks so much. You can head to cadburytrytimes.co.nz to get your prize back. Thanks so much. You can head to cadburytrytimes.co.nz to get your prize back.

Thanks so much. You can head to cadburytrytimes.co.nz to get your prize back. Thanks so much. You can head to cadburytrytimes.co.nz to get your prize back. Thanks so much. You can head to cadburytrytimes.co.nz to get your prize back. Thanks so much. You can head to cadburytrytimes.co.nz to get your prize back. Thanks so much. You can head to cadburytrytimes.co.nz to get your prize back. Thanks so much. You can head to cadburytrytimes.co.nz to get your prize back. Thanks so much. You can head to cadburytrytimes.co.nz to get your prize back. Thanks so much. Treat yourself. Full play. Full play. We're gonna get you a Cadbury Prize back coming your way alright. Awesome. Thanks so much. You can head to CadburyTryTimes.co.nz to be in to win your share of $50,000 too. Thank you. Good on you. Thank you for your cool, very funny. Cherie, morning. Good morning everyone. It's great to have you on New Zealand's Breakfast. Cherie, what's your rock solid excuse for getting out of any event?

Oh, well, um, years ago, my son, he was about two and he could, I could never keep clothes on him. And he went and sat on one of those old vacuum cleaners. And on the top of those old vacuum cleaners, there was a lid and he got his pee pee caught in there. Oh, jeez. Traumatic. And yeah, so by the time I've told my friends that no I can't come, they didn't, no one believed me. I still had to take him to the doctor, he was injured. Oh right, so they didn't, well it seems like a pretty creative excuse, oh he got it stuck in the vacuum cleaner. Yes, they didn't believe me. We've all had that problem.

I was just going to say have you all been there? They sneak out on you at those vacuum cleaners. They do, we've all had that problem. I was just going to say have you all been there? They sneak out on you with those vacuum cleaners. They do, we've all been there. I mean I've used that excuse three or four times. There's never been an excuse. They never believed me. No, well we do. How old is your son now?

He's 24. He'll be pumped that this story is getting broadcast on radio. I don't know, he's at work now, so we'll see. You wouldn't be a fan of vacuuming, would you, after that? Appreciate your call, thanks so much. We just had a great excuse before, we tried to get someone on the air, because they sent her a great text and they replied back, I can't, I'm too shy. Great excuse for not talking on the radio. Yeah.

Isn't it? Too shy. Too shy. Can I come on board? Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The Hats. You know, you get a lot of messages from people who are on the radio. Yeah. Isn't it? Too shy. Too shy. That is. Okay, come on board. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast.

The Hats. You know, you get a lot of messages about packages, maybe because you do buy a few packages. Yeah, maybe they like have found out details from my phone or something, but I always get packages being like, uh, this is in the depot and you've got to pay to release it. But I'm used to those. Whether you tell your husband those are scam texts.

Yeah, all of this scam but I'll just go down and check in case it is. What's the latest thing that you bought off there? Well I get fed a lot of ads especially on social media and I've actually done a Jono again and I've been sucking into one of them. Ben gets fed a lot of ads too from Alan, doesn't he? With his lifeike dolls. Oh yeah that's right, yeah Alan. With realistic touch.

Not Alan DeGeneres, I was thinking of Alan, another Alan. Alan the international doll manufacturer. Yeah, I don't know why, weirdly but anyway I've looked into that. Affordable, great service. They send you ads of what you're interested in. Yeah, well now I'm interested, yeah. But anyway, it's less about me. So I have bought this little contraption.

It just looks like a little skinny wand. Oh, you bought it in. What is it? I haven't used it yet because I'm scared that I'll hurt myself. So I brought it in to trial it on one of you two. This little wand is an eyelash curler, but not ones where you squeeze it onto your eyelash

and it curls it. This is heated. It kinda looks- It's like an eyelash heated roller. So it could singe your eyebrows if it goes. Eyelashes. Eyelashes or your eyebrows if it goes really raw. Just when you think every beauty device has been invented, something to heat the tiniest,

most fragile hair is known to humankind. Look, and you turn it on and you heat it up and then it's got like a little element and you put that by your eye. It looks like a little toothbrush sort of type size. It looks very similar to, you might cast your mind back to a couple of months ago where producer Ali bought in her portable bidet. Oh yeah, you don't want to get those mixed up.

Which also looks toothbrush like, didn't it? We'll put a photo up on the hits breakfast. We've got to film something. Should we do? Yeah. Okay, someone who wants beautiful lashes? Are you going to like paper, scissors, rock? Who's gonna do it?

This is gonna be, who's gonna fill out the ACC form? And they're gonna go, at what point did you think this was a great idea? Putting heaters next to your retinas. And like, am I gonna do it or are you gonna do it on yourself? No, if you wanna do it, you can do it on me, I don't mind. But I'm not gonna do it myself. you going to do it on yourself? If you want to do it, you can do it on me, I don't mind. But I'm not going to do it myself.

The whole country hearing me burning your eyeball. Okay, this could be the best or worst piece of radio you ever hear. So what do you need me to do? A trust exercise here with Megan with essentially a heating rod right next to Ben's eyeballs. Try not to blink or blink? What am I doing? I'm opening the eyes or closing the eyes? How's this working?

You can catch this, we're gonna film it for a social media It's very hard not to flicker your eyes. Gen Z grace will put this on his breakfast Okay You feel the heat just yeah, just a little bit, you know What you breathe listen, I I've been part of a few stunts in my time and this is not a great idea Listen, I I've been part of a few stunts in my time and this is not a great idea I'm gonna say it now. It's warm. It's warm. There my eye. It's warm. Yeah It's hard not to maybe flinch is it like putting your eyes

Is it like putting your eyeballs next to one of those bar heaters like a hot flannel like you know Well, those scalded hot flattles. They sometimes give you a you know, if you go somewhere Like if you're wearing one of those scolding hot flattles they sometimes give you a, you know, if you go somewhere Okay so it is hot, okay close Benz It's very hard not to keep blinking my eyes You're so trusting I'm trying to stay still right now, but this feels like some form of torture Tomorrow she's gonna come in with these, oh I found these eyelash scissors and I can put these sharp op implements next to your eyeballs Okay, now you've got that running up the lash there.

Is that curling, you think, Megan? Is that doing anything effective? Yeah, I think so. How do I look? I mean, is this a good glop or what? I mean, stop blinking. It's very hard not to get blinking. Mate, you're sticking a hot rod in my eye.

You're like, hey, stop blinking. Exactly. Let me poke you in the eyeballs! I want to do radio the whole time okay quickly because we're gonna wrap this up okay All right I've just read the safety instructions they say good luck so at the moment no burnt no burned eyeballs no burned eyelids Jesus is a risky game yeah hard to watch to be honest I'm not an eye person myself. Hey, I think it's work... Oh no.

No, I think it was a giant waste of money. Messages you just keep getting sent to your text or email or any DMs you get on social media just constantly, essentially spam, maybe scams there's one that just, honestly every day I'd say for nearly nearly four weeks, a text message I get just comes from Jetstar saying go to gate 8, go to gate 8 your departure for the flight JQ459 is leaving at midday. And every day I'm getting this around about 11.30, 11.40. And I guess if people wonder why some Jetstar flights are delayed or cancelled, maybe it's me not turning up.

You didn't accidentally book like every day for a month or something like that. Maybe I'm a very forgetful traveller or something. But I don't, yeah, if you're on the ground staff you might want to break the news so that the passengers on board will be getting a bit scratchy by now you would imagine. But what are they getting out of this scam? Are you to click a link or something? To check in? No, it's just a friendly message.

Yeah, so maybe it's just someone's miss- anyway, yeah. So that's what we wanted to know. You're getting messages like that. What's the regular message? Well, our friend and colleague. Colleague and friend, what category do we fall into with you, Larissa? I'll go friend. Friend, Larissa's back in the studio again being held hostage by blackmail on email.

Yes, yes. So straight away got another email that said, hello pervert. No, say it in the said, hello pervert. No, say it in the voice. Hello pervert. So this has happened before you've got a message of three to say this. Yes, yeah, just kind of telling me that I've been going on weird websites and that they'll forgive me. I just have to pay them.

Mercy isn't free was my favourite line. Yes, and that it would be a tsunami over my life if I didn't pay. And you said, it just said where, like the line it says, who knows where your perverted ways could lead. Where could they lead to? To being poor. So you haven't paid so far, you didn't pay last time we talked about this, you haven't paid this time.

No, no, no, just sent it to you guys as a stranger. A common message you keep getting though, I've never had that message before. You must be a prolific pervert. Now that we're friends, maybe I'll email you guys. Although I did have one where I got this other day reminding me. Hello, I'm Alan from a manufacturer of adult doll products. We offer exclusive doll customization services, top notch simulation technology and realistic touch. Overseas warehouses around the world, convenient shipping, if you need any assistance,

please contact me, Ellen. I thought they were trying to make you an ambassador or something, you had to put up a discount code. Use B10. Get an influencer campaign, here's my new friend. Top Notch Simulation Realistic Touch, guys. See Ellen and the team, it didn't say where he's from. Just holding the doll sitting on your lap.

Hashtag ad. I mean, if that's your jam, that's your jam. But yeah, Ellen got on him. He's casting the net far and wide. He's trying to get some sales. Can we email the people back? How much do they want it? Well, the thing was, it was my email address to my email address.

So I don't know how they've done that. Oh, so it's come from you? Yes. Are you sure you're not just getting pissed and emailing yourself? Friendly. Hello, pervert. I know what you've been up to.

You've regretted some things you like. In my journal? Instant guilt. I've been evil myself about that. My sober self. Oh, John again, Larissa. I wonder where that money came from. I made another order with Alan. Hey, top notch, realistic touch.

All right, well, what's the message you keep getting? Maybe it's like from Alan or maybe it's like, what, Larissa, our perfect friend, keeps getting as well. John O'Bannon, Megan. The podcast. The hats. Interesting stat, you were actually talking about a couple of days, a couple of days ago on the

news about homeschooling in New Zealand. Homeschooling has doubled in New Zealand I think since COVID. There is like thousands of Kiwi kids that are being homeschooled. So over more than 10,000 Kiwi kids at the moment are doing it. Now I would have thought during lockdown, we all gave it a bash. That's what I was going to say. It's not surprising how many kids, it's surprising how many adults are choosing to do that. Cause to me that just sounds like admin central.

Oh yeah, it'd be the worst time of school. Imagine all the half-baked conspiracy theories of TikTok I'd be teaching my kids. You know, today's lesson YouTube for six hours. Enjoy. Well, how does it actually work though when it happens like that? I don't know.

You must get center curriculum. Some sort of curriculum, yeah. I guess you've got to follow along. And I guess that allows you to get into universities and stuff if you follow that. But then I would just wake up every day and be like, today's the DVD day. Yeah, I would be too. And I would spend so much of my time just trying to connect to the printer. That would be, hold on, the teacher's just trying to get the old...

There's no tech department to help you out too, isn't there? No, I can't, I can never connect to the printer at night. And when you become like, when you're a dad and when you're a teacher, what point's that going to happen? You have to punish them at school, right? Wait till you get home, you're like, why am I home? Sick days as well too, something I think about as a kid. You're at school, you're stuck at school if you're homeschooled. I had a friend, I didn't know he was homeschooled.

Still mates with him. And then when I found out he was homeschooled, I was like, hmm. What do you mean? Well, I don't know. I was saying that's all I said. I reckon like my... Can you dig a lot of dots right now? Both my parents were teachers, you know, and my wife's a teacher.

So, I mean, if we're going to homeschool, she'd do a great job. But she's never considered... I think early on we did talk about it when we were kids, we were really young, but then she obviously goes to work and she was at the same school as the kids, she's not a teacher. I have so much respect for t-shirt teachers, because what would you... T-shirts are great too. They do play a pivotal role in life.

What would you rather though? A room full of... A t-shirt. A room full of... You What would you? Yeah, they do play a pivotal role in life. What would you rather though? A room full of... A T-shirt. A room full of... You gotta respect the T-shirt, eh. Okay, shut up.

A room full of other people's snot-nosed kids? Or your own? Yeah, you're right. And I imagine they'd probably learn more. More focus, less distraction. You're probably right, actually. You've got all the stuff you could knock off the school year at a go. For me, it's a do-first. I'd to be like, mate we're fired, we're going through

this at pace guys. We're only seven, will you finish year 13? Congratulations kids. 4487 on the text, are you homeschooling right now your kids or were you homeschooled? Love to talk to you about how it works and have you found a real great benefit for your kids? You can sell it to me because I just enrolled Bastien in school. Not too late to pull out.

Yeah. Cried through the form. Save a bit of money. Uniforms, school fees. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The Hats. Famous people have been home schooled.

People like Ryan Gosling, Justin Bieber, Taylor Swift. Oh that would have been for entertainment reasons. Yeah sports people, Simone Biles, Serena and Venus Williams. And they probably had tutors rather than their parents doing it. Yeah, but then sometimes there were the parents as well for people, inventors like Thomas Edison from the light bulb, Alexander Graham Bell, the telephone, Wright Brothers, they were home schooled, they were encouraged to follow mechanical interests and look what happened, they invented the plane. Because they had extra time at home to fiddle around with things.

Yeah, Da Vinci, Abraham Lincoln, all people. Big players, big players. Yeah, they've been homeschooled. Todd, good morning. Good morning to you. Now apparently you know a lot about homeschooling. Well, I guess I've been a homeschooling dad. I'm the immediate past principal of homeschooling New Zealand, so I worked in it for 14 years. Oh right, did you give yourself that title or you actually...

No, no, no, we're the country's largest and oldest home schooling support agency, so we have a role currently of somewhere around about 1300 students. So you're obviously a big backer of home schooling, do you think you end up with a better student at the end of the journey than you would if you went through the traditional route? Well it's anecdotal, you know we've asked the universities on a couple of occasions if they'd mind researching to let us know how well our students are doing because we know they do very well.

But they said they need a cohort of 2-3 thousand anyone near to make sense of such a study so they haven't done it. But we do know that in the United States there are millions of homeschoolers, something about that, six million homeschoolers there. And it is so well respected over there that there are universities that will actually accept students still on the basis of a transcript written by their mothers. We essentially use the same homeschooling materials. People say, oh, it's American. We say, well, yes, but maths is maths, biology is biology, English is English, it doesn't really matter where it's printed. I feel like we all gave it a bash as parents during lockdown, I mean all this is tough. I started swearing at the students, can you do that?

That wasn't homeschooling. I kept making it teachers only days, I'm sorry, day after day. But what more and more New Zealanders, when Learns About it seem to be doing it right? Well we feel called from all over the country, people inquiring about homeschooling and the three motivating factors that come here again and again are number one appalling academics, number two ironically socialisation, bad company corrupting good character and number three is the social engineering agenda that's being foisted upon children which so many families in this country don't want. Because the social aspect is something that you obviously get at school, good and bad.

How do the homeschool kids, how do they manage that when they go to university or even just finding friends? When they go to university, as you'll see if you look on the report to the newspaper, they debauched themselves on the streets of Dunedin and actually now giving socialization classes to first year students. It's such a myth, this idea of socialization. Where else in the world do you band people together by virtue of their age and that's who they relate to, nobody else. Every other aspect of society they mix with mixed ages. You wound Toddy up with that one mate.

That's alright. What kind of commitment is it for parents? Because for me that kind of sounds like a lot of work. Like are there parents that are doing full time jobs and homeschooling? No, we don't do that. It's a lifestyle choice. And I think that's one of the problems is that you're down to one income. So you're following a curriculum.

So say tomorrow I want to start homeschooling the children. I'm sent a curriculum to follow and this sort of structure to the day that I need to apply. No, not really. The first thing we would do is start with a set of diagnostic testing to see where your child's actually functioning, because within the schooling system, they will be moved on every year by virtue of of their age irrespective of what they know or don't know. So as they get older the holes are bigger and bigger. So then we work with you as the parent to devise a program which first fills in the holes in the background and then moves them on at their rate in each different subject

level so they can be at year 6 in English and year 12 in Math. A program which works for them at their rate to the outcome that they want. And we don't have some sort of magical finishing age. They finish when they're ready 16, 17, 18, 19. Now, sorry, do we ask you how much money on average you would save? On average, say you've got two kids who would be going through the schooling system if you did homeschooling. Yeah, two children going through. Well, for two children, we have to survive on something where a child will trust with a lot of business. So, they'd actually pay us, for two children,

they'd pay us $599 over the year. The cost of curriculum for two children, we figured would be around about $1,200. That makes an outgoing of just under $1,800. But against that, they get a homeschooling allowance of $1.23. Tax bait rebate on what they give to us of just under $200. So out of pocket costs for a full year's education with us would be around about $177. Oh, Toddy. You've done the math here. Toddy, you've worked with me. You've homeschooled me through that.

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