Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL SHOW: Jono's been to jail?!

Episode Date: October 28, 2024

ON THE SHOW TODAY: HELP?! I've actually got ants in my pants Jack Whitehall's experience at The Rock's gym... Liam Lawson is in trouble... What has your kids broken? Can you guess the song? Ben can't! It's Halloween so let's get spooky! Facebook: The Hits Breakfast with Jono and Ben Instagram: THEHITSBREAKFASTSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is John O'Bien podcast. Hey, that's us. Brought to you by HelloFresh, the experts and tastes that Kiwis love. Welcome to the podcast on a Tuesday, already Tuesday this week, because it was a holiday in New Zealand on Monday. Does the rest of the world celebrate, do they have their own Labor Days? I think Australia does, but a different time of the year, I think. Is it to celebrate the... Working night too bad. The work week's restructure, wasn't it? Wasn't it?

Yeah, I think so I think there was some battler who was like we More than 160 countries celebrate Labour Day Yeah right On different May the 1st is often the holiday You were saying Canada It's the first Monday of September

UK and Ireland have the first Monday After May 1st is a holiday So there you go Oh there you go and it does It celebrates the struggle for an eight-hour working day. You're dead right there, Megan. Yeah, well, couldn't Dolly Parton have sung, like, working 11 till three?

That would have been good. Yeah, that works for some radio shows. Working four days a week. She's not quite as catchy as the nine-to-fiver, but, oh, guys, I did some time in prison. Oh, yeah, well, yeah. Did I tell you about, well, there's a bit more to this story. That's up first on the podcast.

I was saying earlier on the show, I went to my son's basketball tournament over the weekend, had a very, very funny interaction with a lovely gentleman. He was actually very virulent. He had tattoos on his face, and you get the team symbol on your cheek there, the gang symbol on your cheek., the gang symbol on your cheek. I mean, I love the hits.

I would die for this gang, the hits. But I don't know if I'd get the hits tattooed on my cheek. Would you guys? Nope. Not on the cheek. I'd probably get it somewhere else. On your butt? Yeah.

Probably you'd get a hits tattoo. Yeah. So then he comes up. He's like, Jono, mate. How are you? And I'm like, good, mate. Good. How are you going?

And I could see some other parents kind of go oh okay this is interesting interesting interaction there he's like i haven't seen you in ages and he looked like the type of guy that i wasn't going to disagree with i was like oh no it's been ages mate then great gag from him he goes when did you get out oh it's been ages when did you get out of prison and then i could see the other parents like looking and i was like and then they all dispersed and i was like that is very funny as i know it's a bit of a joke there he said i appreciated that however the joke continued on later on so i'm sitting down and there were some parents of one of the kids there's on the team

they're from overseas so they haven't been here long guy sits down very earnestly he's like mate same guy no no this is another parent another parent who witnessed the interaction

and they're like mate so happy for you that you finally got your life on the right track and you're out here you're supporting your boy

so he thought that maybe we had done time together in prison and that I was out and that things had... That's so sweet. He was very supportive. He was.

He's like, you know, my cousin did some time over in Aussie and he's back on the street. He's now a Christian and I'm like, I had to go, oh, listen,

I actually have a dud. Do I look like a prison person? No. I was like, yeah, the offensive part of that is it was believable to the other parent.

Anyway, I really appreciated that joke. It was a good gag. And thank you to the Hits for taking you on after you did your time. Yeah, that's right. All part of their Give Back to the Community campaign. So I do appreciate it. And I also appreciated the gag. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

I know you had a big weekend. You had Aya, your two-year-old's birthday. What I saw on social, the colour palette all matched. Purple. She's just everything purple, that girl. I hope she appreciated the lengths you went to. Debatable. She's two.

So, I mean, she likes pretty things and purple things, so surely. But it was actually after this weekend that this is a public service announcement as we head into summer. I do this a lot, but this has never happened to me before. So I was blowing up, it felt like 100 balloons. And so halfway through. Can I say congratulations? That is a lot of balloons. I know it was 100 because I bought like a pack.

And your lips really do feel affected at the end of a session like that, don't they? And my tongue, like maybe from the latex, it was all like weird. Yeah, it is. They kind of swell up your lips a like that, don't they? And my tongue, like maybe from the latex, it was all like weird. Yeah, it is. Yeah, I feel it. They kind of swell up your lips a little bit, don't they? Yeah. One of them actually popped in my face, which is quite painful.

Anyway, I was halfway through and I was like, I'm going to sit down and do this. I'm going to sit on the ground and do this. I was in like a short skirt. So when you sit down, I'm like, oh, the ground's cold on my bum um wearing undies though but like you don't thankfully you wore in your in your mini skirt you wore underpants to your daughter's birthday party i'm trying to explain to two guys that when

you sit down sometimes in a short skirt your bum hits the ground or your bum hits the seat yeah so i'm sitting on the ground blowing up these balloons and I felt like this little sharp pain and I was like, ow, what was that? And then I felt another one and another one and I was like, okay, I'm getting up. That's, ouch. Something's biting your bottom.

Ants bit my bum. Oh, yeah. Bitey ants. I didn't know that ants bit, but I had ants biting my butt. You literally had ants in your pants. Yeah, I did. And it was sore. I was thinking about it the other day.

They're saying ants in your pants. I mean, I was like, I wonder how they got to that. Well, this is it, blowing up 100 balloons at your daughter's birthday. And they bit me. Like, am I going to get something now? I didn't know that ants bit. And you can guarantee one or two ants definitely took a wrong turn. What do you mean?

I've been thinking a lot about ants in my pants, but I thought I was saying, you know, the places they could go. And they might be there now. Jeez, guys, we got lost here. Well, the first one was obviously like, yeah, tuck in. Can't have been that bad. So that's a warning this summer. Sitting down ants, they'll come for you.

The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. Jack Whitehall. A very funny UK comedian. You would have seen him with his Netflix series. He's been on Graham Norton many times as well. It is a very funny series. He travels around the world with his father. And he has a new one on Parenthood as well. I don't

feel prepared yet because i don't know i'm a bit of a idiot i was gonna say dreamer but jack whittle is coming to new zealand very excited about this january next year auckland welling and wellington and christ church you can see him live all the details of the hit stock code on nz and of course he's bringing his family with him as well his father and his mother will be joining him on stage. And we got to catch up with him a couple of days ago, didn't we, Jono? It was like catching up with our wonderful British auntie and our quaint British cousin, Jack, over Zoom, wasn't it? He was there and his mum was there as well, just sitting alongside his mum, Hilary.

Yeah, it was lovely to see you, Jack. Nice to see you too. Now, you're coming to New Zealand. The family's coming to New Zealand. We're very excited about this. Now, is this the first this the first time particularly for you jack you haven't been to new zealand before right no i've been once before in 2019 i i was on tour there but i was literally just in and out i did two two nights and and then i was off on the rest of my tour and this time round we have to do it at an 84 year old's pace so there's a little bit more time in each of

the destinations he's also heard how many wineries you've got over there as well yeah we do have a lot of wineries the only the only bonus about new zealand to be honest is you can drink and forget you were here because i know you have a need to drink oh he's at that stage your dad was saying in the promo that you filmed, he's far too sophisticated for New Zealand. So is it too late for him to back out? To be fair, I think most of those disparaging comments were aimed at the good people of Australia.

Maybe you were just like, yeah, dragged under in the current. Well, you sent all the criminals over there so I can see why he still thinks like that. Yeah, I think Australians will be going under the bus. Jack are we're huge fans of you and the family as well and there's a really great story about you uh working out in duane the rock johnson's gymnasium that he takes around his movie sets oh yeah yeah i threw my back out on a cross trainer um i've gone into his iron paradise which is insane like it's a you know the most like you

know kitted out gym you've ever seen and he invited me to go for he was like do you work out and i stupidly said yes was it paradise yeah it was yeah hell for me and taking all of the weights off all of the bars and so it was just the bars for me to lift up but even that I was like I feel like I could end up getting pinned underneath one like a little butterfly so I was like I'll just play it safe and get on the cross trainer in the corner and he's there with a chain like doing you know dips down one end of the gym I was just on this cross trainer but I think because I was quite tense because I was maybe in his presence and not in my sort of safe space yeah i was uh unfortunately then uh felt like a shooting pain in my back and threw my back out and had to get like physiotherapy

that's humiliating in front of the rock isn't it no i don't want to bring things down a little bit but i but i love the movie clifford the big red dog and i did honestly i've got young kids we watched it it was great you were in it jack it was awesome but I really struggled with the fact because I love you as a comedian and you're British and then you were doing an American accent great too but then your sister was British and I was like why not make the both of you British it was very confusing including me and then John Cleese who was also British and then the daughter was American and yeah it was a little confusing it was all to do with source material, I believe. Oh, right.

Staying true to the story of Clifford the Big Red Dog. Absolutely. That's what you do, isn't it? The issue where people couldn't suspend their disbelief any further was for my accent. 10-foot red dog. And you weren't alone. There was a lot of people like,

I just don't believe his American accent. There was a 10-foot red dog. We're huge fans of what you do. We can't wait for you to be in New Zealand. Auckland, Wellington and Christchurch next year. People need to go along and see, if not for the last, but also for the photos as well. Thanks so much for your time.

Thanks so much. Brilliant. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. A big weekend of sport over the weekend. The All Blacks beat Japan. The Kiwis just lost to Australia. It was a good close game in the league as well.

The Auckland FC, the football team, their second win. That's incredible. Yeah, two from two so far. How does that make the other teams feel? That they've just turned up, started a club in under a year and then come in with two wins in a row. Yeah, I mean, it's a long season, but it's a pretty good start. Pretty good start.

Am I getting too cocky too early? Yeah, I think so. There was a goal disallowed by Sydney towards the end. So we scored. But to get a dollar back, it's a great day. That starts off. Ferns did really, really well as well. They're in Caning, Australia in this series, which is awesome.

And Liam Lawson. We get to him, Megan. Your boyfriend. So Formula One, Mexican Grand Prix went down yesterday, and there was lots of reports that came out today that he pulled the fingers at someone. Now, he's driving past, what's the other? Sergio Perez.

He's from Red Bull Racing. So essentially these two, Liam and Perez, they're battling for the seat that Perez is currently in. So there's no love lost between these two. So they're under the same umbrella team. Yeah, Red Bull Racing. But separate teams. Okay, so Liam Lawson passes him.

There's a tussle on the track. Is he serious? Is he serious? That's Liam. What's he saying there? Is he serious? Yeah, so it sounds like he'd been trying to get past him for a while. They were fighting for 10th place.

Yeah, and it was just like racing. It was just racing. It was just racing. I get it. It's just racing trying to get past them For a while They were fighting for 10th place Yeah and It was just like racing It was just racing It was just racing I get it It's just racing I get it it's racing Now as he went past

He did what some motorists do On the summer And see like that I literally saw someone Doing that on the motorway yesterday Flipping the other drivers The bird He flipped the bird

Yeah This person I saw yesterday Also did that up and down You know when you Circularly your hand And they're like Now he did this and we were like John and I came, we hadn't watched the race

You guys, you and producer Ali, really big in the effort one And we were like, oh he flipped the bird Because that was the articles I read And both you and producer Ali were like, oh not Liam No, not the Liam, it must have been a mistake No it wouldn't have been that, maybe he was just putting his hand up For something like that You Ron Mansfield it, you started defending

He wouldn't do that. No, Liam. And then I looked at the article and I was like, oh no, Liam Lawson apologises for flipping the badge. Because I've said it was out of character. Not the Liam I know. That's what you said. Those are the words.

And how do you know it? You've talked to him, punished him once in a jury thing or something. And we chatted for like 15 minutes. I don't know if it was against his will, but he stood there. Politely smiled. As you left, he pulled the fingers at you, didn't he? I just didn't see it.

No, he seems like a lovely bloke. He does. He's always very humble, and he was very complimentary when he replaced, I'm going to get deep, Daniel Ricciardo. He was always very sweet and humble, so it just seems weird that he flipped the bird. It's not the Liam we know. No, it's not Liam.

I mean, there's a lot of pressure. There's a lot going on. If someone's not passing in, there's a lot of stuff that happens in sport that wouldn't normally happen in real life. And he's fighting for that seat. That's the thing. And you don't get, I imagine, to that level of motor racing without being competitive. Yeah. Do you?

And without being a little crazy on the track. Have a little bit of fire in the belly. Yeah, that's right. What about when Travis Kelsey yelled at the coach? No, well, that was very aggressive in the belly. Yeah, that's right. What about when Travis Kelsey yelled at the coach? No, well, that was very aggressive in his face. Out of, yeah.

Not the Travis I know. That's not true. Out of character. He pulls one finger, but Travis Kelsey gets aggressive in someone's face. Oh, yeah.

This is very different. Well, this guy got aggressive at 220 k's an hour. Yeah, completely separated by a car. When's the next race For Liam Lawson I think it's this weekend

Oh very exciting Geez they churn through Well there's a triple header At the moment If I'm correct Yeah right They get to see the world Don't they

They go to all corners Of the world I reckon if I was running The cost on this Formula 1 I was like Can we dial it back And just keep it On the same track

After a long labour weekend Hope it was a good one for you. Great to see the road toll. It was at zero, first time in a long time. Some great stats there. You said it was busy out there on the state highways. It was really busy, yeah. A lot of slowing down, a lot of pointless slow. When you're like, why are we slowing down?

What's going on there? And then you realise. Why are you slowing down? Because you're keeping the road toll to zero, mate. That's why. It was some one-lane bridge or something like that that which always confuses me the one lane bridge signs maybe that's why everyone slows down don't you just go red arrow means you wait no no but the way they've got the arrows pointed and stuff with the thing i was just like why don't they just say

you give way or like why don't they just have a sign just saying give way and not get you know give away this side rather than arrows. Put all that on a sign. Look like they're putting in the wrong direction. Like if you got up there and it was like this side gives way to the other side,

you'd be like, oh sweet. I hear what you're saying. I can see there's some confusion. Otherwise you've got an arrow that points, you've got a big white arrow that goes down, don't you? And then this tiny little red one

that comes. Yeah, well my car could be going that way or could be going that way. I don't know. You're only at that time going one way. But I'm not going up or down, Megan. I'm going along the road. That's what really confuses me.

It's the arrow on the left that's on the same side as you. Yeah, I know. I know that, but it's just not so. Okay. That always confused me too when you're in a suburban street. Sometimes they're red and, hang on, sorry. Sometimes they're white and black and other times they're red and black. You know, like in white and stuff.

I know, but black means no. Why is red not no? Red is no. Yeah. No, it's confusing. I'm telling you, it's a confusing sign. I don't think I've ever struggled with it. Yeah, I have.

Well, I'll tell you one thing. We're not going to solve it right now. No, we're not. 8.30 on a Tuesday morning. We'll leave that to New Zealand Land Transport Safety Authority. Sometimes the things that wind him up. Very passionate. Very passionate. Every time I drive up to one, I'm like, I that wind him up. Very passionate. Very passionate.

Every time I drive up to one, I'm like, I hope it's me. I hope it's me. Shut your eyes, kids. We're going for it. Yeah, but speaking of kids right now, I ended up in the car last week. You were away on Friday, Megan, but Thursday afternoon, picking up kids around the place, doing some work in the car, as I often do, put my laptop safely in the back seat.

One of my daughters got into the car, put her bag on top of my laptop, which generally would have been fine, but a drink bottle leaked all through the laptop, all through the seat. Tainted bottle. Now, the frustration. Laptop's not gone. Not gone. Laptop's broken.

But the frustration is he's told her to throw the bottle out in a previous encounter. Not because I knew it leaked, just because of the, anyway, anyway, just because of the arrow situation on the one-lane bridge. Me and my prostate, mate, a little bit leaky, that bottle. So now your laptop, it was drenched in water, it wasn't working Friday morning, you bought your daughter's laptop, and that was punishment to her. Yeah, well, she had a teacher, Tony, and I was like, great, but then today, I was like,

does anyone not need their laptop? And my wife needs hers, and my aunt Sienna needs hers. Indy's no good to me. She doesn't have a laptop. You're no good. I hope you said that to her too. You're no good to me. But you look a bit naked.

I don't have a laptop today. A bit fidgety actually. She's bashing away at emails. Yeah, I know. So I've got the work computer the old standard desktop that I'm trying to use right

now flicking between tabs and all sorts the old Dell yeah the old Dell never let you down is it yeah so we want to talk this morning

about kid damage because I've taken mine in to get fixed hopefully it will get fixed I still haven't heard back because it's a long weekend so we'll

see how that goes I said do an insurance job on it that's what I was telling you to do I know but then you're like oh I have to send it away to Wellington and it'll take ages. You do, yeah.

I still think you should ask the work techs. You do, you do. Just tell them it's your work laptop. Not everyone gets work laptops like you Megan. Megan gets a work laptop, work phone, work car park. And she knows how the arrow system works too. Maybe there's something in that. It's confusing. I'll wait under that.

Have you got kids in your life and the most amount of damage they have caused? Because let's be honest, they don't know the ramifications. They don't know the cost associated with it, the replacement admin that's associated with what they've destroyed. Your family's not even to deal with that. They're not using Adele. We're talking kid damage to make you feel a little bit better. After a leaky water bottle from his daughter's bag ruined his laptop.

Can I just say, if we're in an age where we're stressing about robots taking over the world and stealing our jobs, surely waterproof laptops should be a thing. Surely. True. Surely. I thought you were going to say, surely we can just pour water on the robots when they get too... That's a good option. Hose them off.

Just hose them down when they get too lippy. Oh, you're getting too good at this job? Get out the old garden hose. That's good, yeah. That's a really good deal. Let's not waterproof things then. That's a great solution. Now, Janine, good morning. How are you? Good morning. How are you guys? We're doing well.

Now, we're talking about kids causing a bit of damage. What happened to you? Oh, so after the last school holidays, I've got a rather large plumber's bill. Uh-oh, what happened? So the kids waited until I was in the shower and decided that they'd make a TikTok of what could go down the waste disposal. Oh good, that is a good TikTok. Watch that.

What sort of interesting items were they testing out there, Janine? Okay, so the plumber pulled out water balloons, slime. Oh, jeez. A tennis ball. A tennis ball? How did they even fit that through the circle? Well, I think one of them might have pushed it with their hand. Pushed it in there.

Wow. Luckily, we have all the fingers. Adventurous stuff. So what ones did actually go into it? Did the gurgler get rid of any of these or not? I haven't finished. They also put down a hot wheel and a transformer. The gurglers, I chuck down avocado stones.

He does the stones. Yeah, I think that's taking a risk. But boy, a tennis ball and a transformer. Yeah, no, you're lucky the avocado doesn't, like, bounce back and hit you in the eye. Don't do that. It's dangerous. Yeah, no, the, yeah, I should, well, I do back off from it.

It feels like it's circulating into another dimension when it's got an avocado stone in there. Hey, thanks for your call, mate. Appreciate it. Tracey's with us on 0800THEHITS. Most amount of kid damage, Trace? So my 16-year-old is learning to drive, you know, learn to drive it. And Saturday night we're going home from my parents' place.

And I said, okay, right, you can drive my car, you can drive us home. And yeah, took the corner a bit too tight out of the driveway and got the power box and scraped all the side of my car up. I've got to make an insurance claim now. And then, of course, damaged the power box at the top of the driveway. See, and they don't have to deal with any of the back end. It's like none of the devastation they have to deal with. It's like bloody Putin.

Putin's been firing off bombs in the Ukraine for the last two years. Has anyone actually said, hey, mate, you should stop this? Okay, well, let's not compare Kiwi is causing a... Well, you know what? Let's not compare Kiwi kids to Putin. Yeah, huge jump. Huge leap. Sorry for comparing your 16-year-old to Vladimir Putin there, Tracy.

So that's going to be a tedious week for you, fixing that up. Yeah, yeah. He's a race car driver, so he's got a bit of work to do because he's got a race car to work on as well. Oh, but he's got a bit of work to do because he's got a race car to work on as well. Oh, he's got a bit of work to do. There's times like that where you're like,

damn, why didn't we have a panel beater in the family or something? And, you know, Tracy's going to be without car like you're without laptop. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. They make me feel a little better after my daughter spilt a whole drink bottle on my laptop that's no longer going. Yeah, good times. And still hear the anger when you're like, yeah, I spilled a drink bottle on my laptop that's no longer going. Yeah, good times. And still hear the anger when you're like, yeah, spilled a drink

bottle on my laptop. Were you using their laptops over the weekend? Yeah, I was using Sienna's laptop. I've tried doing this thing where my toddlers destroy things. I try and internally say, I love my child more than the laptop. Do you?

Ben's like, no. the laptop's handy though. Does your child play Netflix for you? Stacey, good morning to you. Good morning. Great to have you on. Kid damage, what happened? Oh, my son's father is a drummer and my son, just as he started to learn to walk,

decided to get out the tongs from the kitchen drawer, went over to the TV. Michael Jackson was playing and he decided to have a drum hit. Destroyed our smart TV that was three months old with no insurance. He was beating it to beat it. He absolutely was. Do you still love him more than the TV? Oh, 100%.

Absolutely. Good on you. Has he pursued a career in drumming, though? Well, he got a drum kit at the age of one, so yeah, he's pretty good. And you're looking at him, you're like, mate, that's what the thing's for, the thing we bought you. Exactly. Well, I did ask his father to put the tongs away, but that didn't happen. Never mind.

I hope he turns into Travis Barker or something. Yeah. Buys you a new smart TV. The TV obviously wasn't that smart enough not to break, was it? Thank you so much for your call. Really do appreciate it, Stacey. Leisha with us on 0800 The Hits. Kid damage. What happened, Leisha? So many, many years ago,

my younger sister decided that she no longer wanted to be deaf. She didn't like being the only deaf person in the family. And this is when hearing aids were still quite expensive and you had to make moulds for your ear. And she decided, bugger it, took it out and flushed them down the toilet. And what, talking thousands of dollars there? Thousands, thousands.

I can see a solution to the cure of the hearing loss issue. No. No. We didn't sell this. Did it cure the hearing loss issue? No. No. He is so deaf. They're crazy now, eh, hearing aids? Have you seen them now? They're kind of like, could be Bluetooth as well. They hook up to your phone.

Yeah, my dad always hooks up to the TV and the phone. Yeah, it's really clever. They're so advanced now, but back then, not so advanced and very expensive. Yeah, well, hey, thanks for your call. Appreciate that. Apparently you can put them on mute too. So if you don't want to hear anyone talking, you can just mute them.

Dream result. He turns down how many people there are in the room so you can turn down background atmosphere and all sorts. But he looks like a badass in the club, like tapping his ear, you know? Like a secret service or something like that. It'd be good to put it like on narration mode

where it's like here comes Megan and then there'd be some other stuff there obviously that I'm not clever enough to think of on the spot who's coming up with it

on the spot it might be like you good morning Brittany hello oh yeah kind of faux Italian there for some part of it good to have you on Brittany

most amount of kid damage? Well, I'm not so much a kid, but I did this to my mum about three weeks ago. We had a bit of a domino effect where I mistaken the accelerator in my car for the brake for the accelerator. And I drove my car through the garage, which crashed into the back of my mum's car, which pushed my mum's car forward into their fridge, completely destroyed that, and the fridge went into the wall. Oh. Oh.

Oh, my God. That's a real trifecta you got there, Brittany. I know. And I was in complete shock for ages. And then my mum was like, it's okay. It's all super thick. It can be repaired. And then she was like, you do have insurance, eh?

And? I did. Oh, God. Oh, be repaired. And then she was like, you do have insurance, eh? And? I did. Oh, God. I thought that was a nervous laugh. Like, yes, Mom. Appreciate you call, Brittany. We can laugh about it one day, but not yet. I know.

People say that quite early sometimes. You're like, well, not now. Not now. When anything like that happens in our lives, we're like, well, at least this makes a radio break. Yeah. That's the silver lining for us. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Producer Grace is in with her new game. We started last week the music game, but you went to the Auckland FC over the weekend, Producer Grace.

Yes, I did. It was a great game. Second one for the Auckland FC, which is pretty cool in the Football A League. Jeez, they're on fire, aren't they? Disallowed goal by the other team towards right at the end, and then it was pretty much a last-minute goal in extra time. I know nothing about football, so when they disallowed the goal, I was like, what is happening? I didn't know that was a rule.

Was it fun? It was so good. Great atmosphere. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't know you were a football fan. Well, now I am. Two wins. Two wins for two.

It's great. Now, what you do here is with this game, you strip back music. You naked music and take the clothes off and we start with the drum beat and we've got to try and figure out what the song is. Exactly. Now this might sound like the most obvious stupid statement, but for me, I'm either going to get it or I'm not.

If I don't have it in the first drum beat, there's no chance for me to get the song. Right. Is that the same for you? I don't think I've got a single one, to be honest. It's a tough game. Well, I think as soon as you start getting more of the song, it that the same for you i've got i don't think i've got a single one to be honest this game is tough as soon as you start getting more of the song it makes it easier it should do yeah and we must send a shout out to the app bandle for allowing us to plagiarize this idea i feel like everyone everyone's kind of sounds the same to me so i'm like yeah it could be that song or that song. But anyway, here we go.

I got this first go. 1983. How many YouTube views? 1.4 billion YouTube views. 1.4 billion? Yeah. I got it straight away, guys. Oh, okay.

You got it straight away. I don't. I have again. So I'm not going to get this one. It's from the 80s. Also, that's before I was born, by the again. So I'm not going to get this one. It's from the 80s. Also, that's before I was born, by the way. Old people music. Grace got it right, though. I have no idea.

Where do you know the song from? It's quite an iconic song. It is a female singer. Girls just want to have fun. Yes. It just suddenly came to fun. Yes. Oh. It just suddenly came to me. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Nice. Good work there. Yeah. Yeah. Well, well done, Megan. Every time I'm like, oh, yeah. I guess so.

It always sounds different. When you play the actual song Than what we've heard before It always sounds Close apart Next time we have a musician In here for a guest We should get their music And strip it back

And see if they know stuff They'll be like What? Oh okay I'm confused Music's hard With all the instruments Working together

Okay Here's the next one Lust for Life John Mayer Iggy Pop No This one I actually didn't know This one's like Lust for Life. John Mayer? Iggy Pop. No. This one I actually didn't know.

This one's like Lust for Life, isn't it? 1968? Oh, God. Oh, my God. Is it The Beatles or something?

Like of that era, like of the vibe. Rolling Stones? Think of Halloween, yeah. Rolling Stones, Satisfaction. Paint it black.

Think Halloween. Halloween. Think Halloween. Halloween. Think Halloween. Oh, something for the devil. Yes. I did not know that's what that was called. Taking us back to 68. Damn.

Sorry, guys. I know, I mean, it's my sweet spot. Have you heard of that song before? No. pulled taking us back to 68 damn sorry guys I don't mean it's my sweet spot have you heard of that song before no maybe these

old people will get it it was a vandal she's trying to help us out and that's producer Grace's Chuck Berry

Frank Sinatra how'd you go Ben no good again zero just another big zero, guys. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Ben Boyce plays the role of the Riddler now,

scouring the internet of riddles, and now his algorithm thinks he's a riddle guy. Yeah, I get it on TikTok now. This one actually came from TikTok because I watch riddle videos for this. And they're like, oh, this guy must love riddles. I'm like, well, I guess I do. He seems like a fun guy. Send him another riddle. So I've only got one today.

So if you guys get it, that's great. You guys. Probably not. You guys get to snake the prize off someone. I went under the hits if you want to have a guess at this one. Got a hot and cold tea prize pack. Thanks to Dilmar Tea and $100 to give away. So here it is. The riddle is,

when I was 22, my brother was half my age. Now I'm 44. How old is my brother? That's the riddle. He's 22. No, he's not 22. Yeah, it wouldn't be that obvious.

Yeah, well, that's the first thing. As a riddle guy myself, that popped up. That was the first thing I thought of too. Because your life is now riddled with rid obvious. Yeah, well, that's the first thing. As a riddle guy myself, that popped up. That was the first thing I thought of too. Because your life is now riddled with riddles. Yeah, yeah. So when I was 22, my brother was half my age. Now I'm 44.

How old is my brother? Oh, it's the phone line's going nuts right now. But yeah, 22 was the first answer that I thought of straight away. And I think it's the obvious one you would think of. When I was 22, my brother was half my age. Now I'm 44. How old is my brother? 11. He's not 11.

No. No? No? I don't know. Jolly, come on. What, is it an obvious one? No, but I feel like you're... No, it's not.

Because factuallyually he's 22 right well there's obviously a loop so when he was 22 my brother was halfway so when i was 22 the brother was half my age yeah now i'm 44 how old is my brother okay so even there's people like going on the phone right now they want us to go to the phones but you guys want to my daughter poppy's texting she's saying this is so easy yeah Well, give me the answer, Poppy. It is easy. Okay, let's go to the phones right now. Let's go to the phones right now. Megan was on the right track, but...

Ben, welcome. Hello. Welcome to the Riddler. Now, do you think you've got it, Megan? Yeah, I think so. Okay, well, why don't you write your answer down on your computer. Here is Ben, who... You obviously do have it, Ben.

I hope so. Okay. All right, Megan, have you written down your answer? Yeah. Okay, now, Ben, who you obviously do have it, Ben. I hope so. Okay. All right, Megan, have you written down your answer? Yeah. Okay, now, Ben, you go. The answer would be 33. Is that what I wrote down, Ben? Yeah, that's what you wrote down, 33.

Well done. Congratulations. Why? Okay, so to work it out, 22, my brother was half my age, so that would make your brother 11. Right. So there's the 11-year age gap. That's the thing.

We got caught up on going half. Yeah, you get caught up. It's the riddle part. That's why I love riddles, guys. It's riddle with riddles. Hang on a second. That's why you get caught up.

But it's only the age gap doesn't change. They're not always half. Yeah, yeah. So they're not always going to be half the age. So there you go. Well, Ben,

thanks for calling through and making us look like completed. Well, me look like a completed always going to be half the age. There you go. Well, Ben, thanks for calling through and making us look like a complete. Well, me, look like a complete. Megan, you got it. Megan got there at the end. I mean, it took a while. It took a while. Hey, well done, Ben.

You've got yourself $100 in a Del Mar tea, hot and cold tea prize pack. What's on the plans today? Off to work? Oh, Ellie's already bloody done that. Back in. Check it back on, Ellie. Ben wants to know what Ben's up to today. She's tidying up the back end already. She's that efficient. She's bloody efficient, back on, Ellie. Ben wants to know what Ben's up to today. She's tidying up

the back end already. She's that efficient. Jeez, what are you doing today? Producer Ellie. Get him in. Spit him out, mate. He's gone.

Get his DJ. And she's out. Wow. I guess we'll never know what Ben's up to today. Lightning pace producing. Did he tell you what he was up to today, Ellie?

No. Did she just even ask Bruce? I can't, Ben. I can't. Send that producing off to the radio awards. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Now, thanks for joining us this morning on The Hits Breakfast.

We've had a few MC gigs lately, Ben, and one shtick we do is Ben flashes up some embarrassing images of me. Okay, now these are degrading photos that sort of sit in a special folder on my phone and they're uh images people should never see you've got them so there was a bit of a gag we're doing the other day it was kind of like there were people in the room we're emceeing but there was also people joining in over zoom around the country right so we're like encouraging them to send in their watch party photos okay and then every now and again i would just flash up a photo

of go hey let's have a look at the photos oh Oh, this one's great. This is in Tokoro. Oh, this one's great. Oh, this is in New Plymouth. Oh, this one's great. And there'd be a photo of Jono and an embarrassing photo. Yeah, and there's so many of them. But you provided all these photos. Yeah, I do.

So that's the first one. It's a Western-themed one where I've got a cowboy hat on and I'm naked and there's a gun holster appropriately placed. Oh, is that? Okay. That's one photo. I'm far enough away to not recognize that that was a gun holster. There. Okay. That's one photo. I'm far enough away to not recognise that that was a gun holster. There we go.

I wish, I wish. What was the backstory behind that photo? I don't, you know? No, I don't know. It looks like one of those things you go on the Gold Coast and you walk along and they're like, want to get a photo as a Western thing? You're like, oh, I guess so, you know? You put on hats and stuff and you stand in a saloon And you look like you did one of those

Weirdly, I've seen you in that state of undress before But every time it gives me a wee fright You're like, you're so white You're so milky pasty white And I am Was it a tourist trap that you got caught up in? I honestly have no Recollection of why that

Why that photo shoot took place The rest of the family are like, oh no, we don't want to be in this. You're like, oh, do it. I don't need a shirt or pants. So that photo was one of many. So to send them to the people to put up on the screen, the AV screen. Now what's happened is the photo's gone out of the circle of trust and entered my friend's inbox, who also works at, I didn't know, worked at the company.

Oh, really? He's like, just so you know, I've got that photo of you. I've been sending it around the team. Oh, dear God. This now, this doesn't need to get out to, firstly, a district court. We don't want this heading into court, do you? But it's one of those images that, if you saw it pop up on TikTok, and there's no backstory to it. you don't know the origin of it.

Well, you don't even know the backstory. I know, exactly. You're a part of it. I can't even explain the backstory. Just know that there probably is a backstory. I just can't think of it just yet. We may as well put it up on the Hits Breakfast. So it's out there now.

All right, we'll put that up. You can see that on our Instagram. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Yeah, we wanted to know this morning, what is the thing that your parents always claim? What's their claim to fame? Because my dad's still claiming this. Victor Vito, a very good All Black, great rugby player.

And now not playing for the All Blacks. I think he's playing overseas at the moment. I think my dad still keeps in touch with him because my dad was a school principal and Victor Vito came to his school at a very young age. And Dad always likes to say, my dad's claim to fame is that he made Victor Vito play rugby. He's like, every time the All Blacks would play, we'd see him on the thing. He's like, yep, it was all because of me.

So when he came to your father's school. He hadn't played rugby. He was only very young, but he was very big at that age, a big unit. And he was like, what sport do you play? And I can't remember what he said, but he's like, well, now you play rugby because we need you in the team. And he talked to it very well. I guess in part we probably do have to give a little bit of credit

to Victor Vito as well. Because we made him play it. It doesn't mean he was going to be any good. That's what I keep saying to Dad. It's like, yeah, you'll make me play rugby. And I wouldn't be, you know. But my dad's kind of famous. And it's lovely that they still keep in touch

and, you know, they still message each other. It's lovely. He's very grateful. But at the same time, I'm like, it's pretty much 99.9% Victor Vito. Maybe 0.1%. I've actually DMed Victor Vito on Instagram. I don't follow him. He doesn't follow me.

Because I wanted him to come on to verify your dad's wild claims. Yeah. But so far, nothing. So the case is still open as to whether your dad's wild claims. But so far, nothing has got back to him. So the case is still open as to whether your father is the reason Victor Vito was an All Black or wasn't All Black. Yeah, well, good claim to fame, though. Like, every time you watch a rugby game, you could go,

oh, look, you know. I made him. Yeah, I was responsible for that. You weren't really, but yeah. Has Waino got a claim to fame in Nelson there, Megan? I'm sure he does. I can't think of any. What if you can think of it?

Yeah. No, no. My mum loves the fact that she once met Rolf Harris and I was like, that's age poorly, mum. There's a photo of the two of them together and I don't know where Rolf's hands are. That's not a great claim to fame. She needs to stop peddling that one.

At the time, that would have been probably a good claim to fame. He was a big deal. Yeah, but now you'd be like, ooh, jeez. Rose Hans got away on him, didn't they? Yeah. He's in that category of, are they still living or are they dead? Yeah, I'm not sure. I feel like he might no longer be with us.

But that's a great claim to fame. Your parents had a claim to fame? Annie. She used to be a journalist And she was a reporter for the paper And so she would always She was always like, oh I partied with him So like Former MPs from years gone by

You know when they had photos of people at Parliament And it was all in black and white Those were like, oh Richard Prebble Dickie Prebble Oh we partied together And he was So she was a journalist And they partied together

But imagine back then They would have been like No phones No phones We won't be printing this There would be some sort of arrangement Exactly how many years ago Did they party together

Oh yeah Is there a reason My middle name's Richard But yeah no That was a different time. Hey, Rolf was probably out there with them too, though. They were getting away with some stuff back then. Mate, your parents claim to fame after my dad claims, well,

he's responsible for Paul Morbleck, Victor Vito, playing rugby for New Zealand. I mean, he... Loosely, for getting him into rugby, yes. I know, but I feel like he would have found his way there, regardless of whether my dad said it or not. And the talent's kind of on Victor Vito. Yes, exactly.

Pretty much all of it. But good on giving it. It's a good claim to fame and they still keep in contact. That's very sweet. Have you ever come across Victor Vito? I haven't actually officially met him. I think I might have met him when he was very young, but not since he's been all black, Victor Vito. Kind of sounds like your dad talks to Victor more than he probably does you.

He probably does me. He's like, oh, the son I wish I had. Ben hardly ever calls his parents, too. Victor Vito calls his dad more than he does you. And your mum had a photo with Rolf Harris. That's her claim to fame. Yeah, when she was very young. And you said the photograph

Could get Rolf in a lot of trouble And she needs to get rid of the photo Did she put it up on the wall? Like did she put it At one stage? I've seen it And it went on her Facebook I think at one point too

She scanned the photo And put it on Oh yeah I guess No one was Yeah we didn't know What things were going on back then Tell you what There'd be a few ditty photos With people getting deleted from the photo stream at the moment, wouldn't there?

Yeah, you're right. No one knows what's going on. No, that's right. So 800, that's your parents' claim to fame. Now we've got Lucille on the show. Good morning to you. Oh, hi, it's Amber now. Oh, hi, Amber.

That's all right. If you wanted to change your name by depot, that's fine. Amber, your dad claims he saw a superstar in Raglan. Yeah, walking up a walking track. Who was it? Katy Perry. Whoa. Did your dad go and talk to her?

Nah, he doubled back and kicked her out because he thought she looked like she was a little bit out of place. But kind of wasn't sure until later. So it's just your dad, just your dad. No one else there. And the problem is with parents' recollections and who they think they might have seen or might not have seen, you can never be 100% certain. Has it been verified, Amber?

No, not, but she was in the country, so yeah. Okay, okay, so not, yeah, we're all right. Whereabouts in, was it on your property or was it a walking, what was it? Like a walking track, but she was, she had like security, a security person with her and another guy. Okay, potentially. I mean, no one can say he didn't see her. No, and it would seem a very unusual thing

for him to claim, you know, like. So no photo, he didn't take a sneaky photo or anything like that? No, I had to train him up, eh? Yeah, you're right. Oh, well, thank you very much for sharing that one. It's a good claim to fame. Yeah, it's a great claim to fame.

You always got to do the sneaky little hit photo, don't you? Just so they know. You did that with Jack Black. I did. It's all behind. I reckon you're one of two people. The one that goes up and punishes them. So your dad goes up and is like, hello, are you Katy Perry?

Which is embarrassing. Or yeah, they hide away and don't do anything about it. I don't know which is worse out of the two options. Now, great text here, 4487. My dad's claim to fame is he helped build the roller coaster at Rainbow's Inn

yet petrified to go on it. Scared of roller coasters. Never been on the roller coaster. Oh, I loved it. It was great. The other day. That's a good claim to fame though, building a roller coaster.

Another one here. My appearance claim to fame or my dad's claim to fame is he met four members of the royal family. Willie, Charles, building a roller coaster. Another one here. My appearance claimed to be, or my dad's claim to be famous. He met four members of the royal family. Willie, Charles, Camilla, Fergie. Oh, that's pretty good. I feel like he needs to get an award for that.

Those are big bangers, too. It's like royal bingo. Yeah. Kevin Boyce, my dad, he got a photo with Diana. He got a photo meeting her in Masterton. It was a split-second handshake, sort of quick. That's amazing, though. Ten-second conversation, though. Kevin's achieved a lot in Masterton. I mean, it was a split-second handshake, sort of quick. That's amazing, though. Ten-second conversation, though.

Kevin's achieved a lot in Masterton. From the humble beginnings in Masterton. Another great claim to fame here. My dad always tells me that I was born on the same day Freddie Mercury died. Great claim to fame. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. It's still a week, of course. It is Halloween.

And just two days' time. The second largest commercial holiday in the USA. They froth for it. But it feels like more and more Kiwis froth for it every year here in New Zealand. The younger crowd loving it. I'm frothing for it. Hopefully, I was thinking over the weekend, hopefully we've got those meth lollies out of circulation now.

I remember those a few months ago. Hopefully they've gone. Did they find them? I think hopefully they got rid of them. Yeah. As I was buying fruit bursts yesterday at. I think so. Did they find them? I think, hopefully, they got rid of them. Yeah. As I was buying fruit bursts yesterday at the supermarket for Halloween. Gotcha. I was thinking, oh, I hope they're no longer a thing.

Well, there's some stats I was looking at this morning from America, because obviously it's massive over there. One in five adults usually pretend not to be home on Halloween. What, like duck behind the door? Yeah, kids come over, you're like, oh, I've got to hide. That's a good play It's been around since Before Christianity

Halloween Pre-Christian times So they go a long long time In your stats Have you got how much Americans spend on Halloween? No No

Do you want to guess? It's wild 1.2 billion More 1.8 billion 11.6 billion Wow 11 billion dollars

So it's behind Christmas In the biggest second largest commercial holiday 11 billion dollars that's huge on costumes and lollies i'm glad it's starting to pick up some steam here because you know for a few years we're just kind of chuck one of mum's old sheets on over your head you kind of like little mini clan members when you were the eyes cut out uh but now the costumes are brilliant and uh yeah you're right there's a lot of people out on the street on Halloween night. Yeah, it's a big deal here in New Zealand as well. So I thought, you know, a couple of days

before Halloween, we had some wonderful costumes last week left over from Spotlight. Every day I dressed up. And so I thought, why don't I get here just a little bit earlier and I'll give some surprises to people. First thing I targeted you, John. I thought, I'll give you a fright as you arrive to work. I had the scary clown costume on. Producer Grace was here as well, John, I thought I'll give you a fright as you arrived to work.

I had the scary clown costume on. Producer Grace was here as well. She was like, I'll help you because I was just going to film it myself. She was like, I'll help you film it. I was like, okay, cool. So we waited and we both waited and we waited and we, jeez, we waited.

Yeah, sorry. I was really behind the eight ball this morning. You know when else arrived? Megan, you're already here, but everyone else arrived. Sorry. I was like, yeah, producer Ellie arrived. Bryn, who does the news, arrived. I was like yeah Ellie arrived Bryn who does the news arrived

Sam Wallace walked back and forth from the coast about four or five times we're like yeah we're just waiting and waiting and then I was like has he even come into work today

the prank was on him it was what a deal didn't even know I was being pranked yeah so as he came around the corner empty office about you know close to half past five

in the morning jeez I jumped on yeah I was running really late sorry I jumped on out corner, empty office, about, you know, close to half past five in the morning. Jeez. I jumped on out. I was running really late, sorry. I jumped on out and tried to give him a huge fright. Not a lot of audio from you, but I could definitely tell you were quite a stunned. Happy Halloween.

Happy Halloween. Happy Halloween. It's Halloween. It's Halloween. It's Halloween. It's Halloween. Happy Halloween. I kind of pieced that one together. It's Halloween. It's Halloween. It's Halloween. It's Halloween.

I kind of pieced that one together. Just in case you forgot. Was it worth it? No. No. No, it wasn't worth it. But that's why I came up with it. It's Halloween.

It's Halloween. It's Halloween. You can see that. It's the funniest part. It's Ben. He had 15 minutes to come up with a witty line While he's waiting for me And he just screamed It's Halloween

Halloween This is Halloween This is Halloween Alright well tomorrow It's your turn Megan I don't know what time I need to get here When I get here

Brace yourself It's going to be nice To just turn up to work Like a normal person And not be part of a social video The Hits The Jono and Ben Podcast To a long weekend. We actually mentioned

in the news before, Megan, the holiday road toll zero, which is awesome. Zero, that's great. Does anyone acknowledge that Megan started the broadcast with a fart noise out of her mouth? No, because it's the end of the pink song. Oh, does she make a fart noise? Ah, I see. How was your weekend, Ben? Because I know he was going away to a batch

and for three days with his friends he was very worried because he had work to do on his laptop. So his major concern was the Wi-Fi connection. Well, I thought we could do a little thing. There's something, one of the, because we went away for the weekend and there was friends there and some other kids as well as our kids. Did they have internet?

They did have internet, but one of the kids had a little game that we played at the dinner table and they do it at school. And I thought it was quite good after a long weekend. It's high-low buffalo. So you're high of the weekend you love the weekend and buffalo for some reason is the funny thing that happened oh i don't know why i was i keep going why buffalo buffalo they're like i don't know maybe it rhymes so megan i'm gonna go high low buffalo for you for the weekend low buffalo long weekend hi was uh my daughter's birthday party oh yeah look nice yeah yeah Could that also be the low?

It could be the low as well I feel like a child's birthday Yeah it has it all doesn't it, the highs and the lows A child's birthday I blew up like a hundred balloons And my husband Andrew was like We've got a balloon pump But having to manually, not one of those

Pedal automatic ones Like a bike pump So I ended up just doing it with my mouth pump, but like having to manually, not one of those, you know, pedal, like automatic ones. Like a bike pump. You still have to bike pump it. So I ended up just doing it with my mouth. But you get sore lips, don't you? I've done that before. Yeah.

An achy jaw. Yeah. Was that your buffalo? Was that the funny thing? Sure. I'll really put you on the spot here. Yeah. All of it.

All right, Jono. High, low buffalo. Hi. Well, I spent a lot of time at a basketball tournament over the weekend watching my son, so that was probably a high. I enjoyed that. The low, I tripped up walking upstairs at the basketball in front of a huge amount of people. Old man has fall.

And everyone was like, oh, oh, oh, no, are you okay? Who can be helped? Do you know, I think you get to a certain age where people stop laughing and they start going, are you okay do you know I think you get to a certain age where people stop laughing and they start going are you okay I'm at that age I almost prefer if people laugh it could be your buffalo as well the buffalo is the funny thing very funny interaction with a mongrel mob member

which I'll tell you about shortly he did some good comedy at the basketball he had a great gag which spread concern amongst the other parents I'll tell you about it shortly. He did some good comedy. At the basketball? At the basketball, yeah. He had a great gag, which spread concern amongst the other parents. All right, I'll go high-low Buffalo. I hadn't prepared this either because I thought it would be on the same spot.

Long weekend was good. It felt like a little glimpse of just a little taster of summer. Did it? It was raining a lot. Well, you know, just having it a little bit longer and went to the beach, I guess it was the way. So it was just a little taste of summer. know, just having it a little bit longer and went to the beach, I guess it was the way. So it was just a little taste of summer. Yesterday, in some parts, it rained.

It was like a hurricane strength winds. Then it was sunny. Then it went back to rain. So I was talking to someone from Gisborne. They're like, you don't know what to dress like here. That's New Zealand. Yeah, that's Auckland. Low, I'm going to say, yeah,

just finding time to do stuff over the weekend. Yeah, it was all the time low. Because I know you had a lot to do, and nothing stresses you out if you've got anyone, though. But if you've got something you need to do, but then you've also got to mix it with socialising. Yeah, exactly. It was lots of fun, actually, it was.

But you're right. Then I was coming home and I'm like, I've got so much stuff to do. Were people hanging out and you'd retreated to your laptop? Yeah, sometimes, yeah. Oh, cool, man. Work-life balance. Buffalo.

I lost a card game and I had to have a monobrow drawn on for an hour. So there you go. That was my funny bit of the weekend as well. It's amazing how much just a little bit of hair in between your eyebrows

can really change your appearance. Like trunchbull. You keep forgetting about it. People are like, oh, I look a bit kind of weirdly. But there you go. That was high-low Buffalo. Still got your pink nails

painted too. I've still got my pink nails. Yeah, those are chipping though. We need to sort those out. They are chipping, yeah.