Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL SHOW: LIVE from Sri Lanka!

Episode Date: May 19, 2025

On today’s show: Scariest overseas stories: “I was held at gunpoint!” Should Megan feel guilty for taking something from the office free table? Ben left his wife a detailed to-do list… but what exactly made the cut? Why Jono is still going strong after 24 hours with zero sleep! Sri Lanka vs New Zealand: Comparing the cost of everyday essentials What Megan was dealing with while the boys enjoyed dinner with the High Commissioner… Jono and Ben visit the MJF Centre—a charitable foundation started by the founder of Dilmah And… why did everyone think Ben was a member of the Blackcaps? Instagram: THEHITSBREAKFAST   Facebook: The Hits breakfast with Jono Ben & MegaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Jono, Ben and Megan podcast, thanks to Dilma. Goodness really does taste great. Dilma, making the world a better tea. Welcome to the podcast. On a Tuesday, well, Tuesday for you, Megan. It's Monday here. What's Monday like? And now it's morning for both of us

because it's like literally 2 a.m. by you guys. Oh yeah, it is Tuesday. We've ticked over, yeah, it's two o'clock. It's Tuesday here? Yeah. What's the future like? It's pretty similar. Trump's still o'clock. It's Tuesday, yeah? Yeah. What's the future like? It's pretty similar. Trump's still in.

Okay. You know, I'm still here. You're still there. Yeah, okay. Nothing we should look out for in the future? No, it's, yeah, pretty similar. The Back to the Future movies wouldn't be quite as good if it was only just like six hours ahead.

Yeah, not much has changed. Which is pretty much what we are. I think the news wouldn't be quite as good if it was only just like six hours ahead. Yeah, not much has changed. Which is pretty much what we are. We're about to go and see some elephants at an elephant orphanage. Very shortly, Megan, we had dinner with a doctor of elephants. And he has some interesting stuff to say about it. He really dedicated his life to elephants, this guy. Feels like the type of guy they'd make a movie on

that would win an Academy Award. Oh, there we go. That would win an Academy Award. It's okay. He sits. It was quite loud. Are you all right? Yeah, it's just the case.

Yeah, I knocked a case. It's all right. I didn't want to interrupt your Academy Award winning speech. Oh, no, carry on. Sorry. Anyway, they should make a movie on this guy. That's what I'm saying. He sits in the bush all day long

and observes elephants and their behavior. Because you see, there's a lot of conflict between elephants and people because the people are moving into where the elephants usually reside. Right. And so they smell food in the houses, and then they'll butt the walls down and eat the food inside the house. People chase them away and shoot them. I feel like John is a bit delirious, yeah.

I'm summarising. I felt like everyone was losing interest and then I still wanted to give my elephant doctor the respect of the story that he told me. I went to an elephant orphanage in Thailand and we actually got to swim with the elephants and stuff in a river, which was actually a bit terrifying because they spray water on you and they're like,

yeah, we're giving you a bath, but I did almost drown, but they thought we were spray water on you and they're like yeah we're giving you a bath but i did almost drown but they thought we were playing well because you know they're giving you a bathroom and elephant mucus yeah yeah there was that and also the river in thailand was brown and i couldn't see what was in it i was like oh is this how i died it was probably poos and yeah it's all right it was fun yeah yeah you enjoy what you're describing sounds lovely but I know the reality of it was probably I know I was trying to really sell it to you it's quite beautiful to get up close with the elephants anyway you'll love it so an elephant blew its nose on you inside a river of feces pretty much I

won't be making an Academy Award winning movie about that story. But I hope you enjoy the podcast. We'll catch you tomorrow. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. Yes, we are coming to you live from Sri Lanka. We came across with our golden suits that deliver two golden teabag tickets. Put them inside two Dilmar tea boxes

inside the Dilmar Tea Factory in Colombo, Sri Lanka. And if you find them very shortly, you could win yourself a trip to Sri Lanka. Mission complete. Job done. Now, Megan's bugbear is that we're still here. We are. You did the mission on the first day, which is what we sent you over there for.

So I'm just saying you could get on the next plane home. Well, I tell you what's the mission. Saying no to all of the wonderful invites that we've had since placing those tea bags in the boxes. We had dinner with the High Commissioner from New Zealand, Megan. We've got big stuff happening, guys. We're trying to get 50,000 New Zealand tourists over to Sri Lanka. We've got stuff to do. Do we want you representing New Zealand over there

with the High Commissioner at a high roller dinner? No one does, really. But we were there anyway. I was like, this is a huge waste of the high commissioners' time. But anyway, it was lovely to meet David and his lovely partner. Yeah, we've met some wonderful people here, experienced some amazing things. But one thing that has quite terrified us, you know, coming from New Zealand, is just the roads here.

It's very busy. You know, the main city, there's a population of New Zealand within one city. Yeah, and you can drive on whatever side you see fit at that particular moment like today we saw a truck driving on the other side of the road into an oncoming bus and no one blinked no one blinked twice the bus just they just gently moved to the side and everyone all three vehicles at that moment in time seemed to fit through there's some horns going there's scooters everywhere there's talk this is a lot going on how do they know which side to move to? So there's a bus and a truck, and are they like,

you generally move to the left, or like... I don't know, honestly, it feels like you're watching a real-time road safety commercial, doesn't it? In real time, you're like, well, this is going to end terribly, but it never does. We got inside a tuk-tuk on our first day, and we didn't actually go too far, but it was, wow, it was a real experience.

Have a listen. Okay, it's a lot of stuff going on. I don't know if road rules are a thing here. You thought the Southern Motorway on a Monday morning was bad. Well, this is just... We're in a tuk-tuk on a four-lane motorway. Oh, God. Oh, uh-oh.

Big bus, big bus. Don't just stop. What are you doing, you mad dog? It was four lanes each side. And he just did a full like 360 around the road. And it just like, I can't, they just stopped. They stopped for him. Basically the whole traffic system is based on a level of trust. A trust that when you pull out in front of someone, they're going to hopefully stop or slow down. Also, if you actually get into an accident in one of those tuk-tuks, there's not a lot of, like, safety, you know? You're just going to crumble.

No, he was in bare feet. He was. It is wild. So we thought, you know, to make ourselves feel a little bit better, what is the scariest thing you've done overseas? Megan, you were showing us some footage a while back. Was it on a flying fox in Dubai? So this is something that you can do by invitation.

And you fly from one of the high-rise buildings across the front of the Burj Khalifa to the ground on the other side. But it's probably like a K long. And you're flying from the top of a high-rise building. So I'm not good with heights. And they just kind of strap you in and chuck you off. Yeah, that was... Yeah, I get that.

Yeah, I understand that. But also, this is the same building that Tom Cruise just sat on top of that needle with nothing. Yeah. Didn't they? Yeah, I know. I know, but I think they're taking more care with Tom Cruise than me, you know? They don't want to kill Tom Cruise. Slightly more important than you.

Better insurance policy. Well, maybe, hey, maybe you tried to get your boogie board into Bali. Maybe that was a scary thing you tried to do overseas. You're coming to you from the beautiful Sri Lanka where we brought over two golden teabag tickets to put inside Dilmar tea boxes that will be sold into New Zealand. Find the teabag tickets and you can win yourself a trip to Sri Lanka. Lucky to be here today Megan after riding in a tuk tuk.

There are thousands of tuk tuks scrambling across the road in this country. And they don't scream safety really do they? It's a glorified bike. Very vulnerable, very vulnerable. I noticed a lot of the drivers are barefoot, barefoot tuk-tuk drivers, but yeah, loads of them. There's buses going around, there's trucks, there's scooters. I mean, I think they play a little game

how many people can get on a scooter sometimes because they get a few people on those. So I saw a family of four on a scooter. They had the little baby at the front sort of leaning over the handlebars. Oh, my God. The little daughter, then the father and the mother holding on to the back. Four people on a scooter. Yeah, so it was, you know, it was an interesting experience

driving a couple of hours today in the traffic. A couple of times we were like, oh, oh, we could die, but we're here, all right, and we've survived it so far. Yeah, definitely saw a truck driving on the wrong side of the road for a long period of time with the bus coming straight towards it, but no one was too concerned. And that's the great thing, isn't it? Like, if you're all of the same mindset, like, maybe we're too uptight in New Zealand. Maybe we're too, like, anal. Do you think that sometimes?

Yeah, you might be right, actually. I saw scaffolding made out of bits of wood. Like, scaffolding around a four-storey right just like poles of of wood oh well hey yeah have you done research into the health and safety you know like in the in the the road toll in trinidad like it might be higher it's a relaxed but we wanted to know uh i know andrew the hats or four four eight seven uh when did you think uh you going to die overseas? Who have we got, Megan? Morning, Jenny.

Good morning. What happened to you overseas? Oh, well, we were in Thailand in Krabi. Oh, yeah. And we booked a boat trip on a long-tail boat to go out to an island for a bit of snorkelling and barbecue. And when we left, as we pulled away from the island, a storm came in and shook the boat.

You know, it was just crashing waves and it was just terrifying. Not enough life jackets to go around everybody. It's a titanium. I did manage to get one, but it was way too small. But I was clinging on it for dear life. It was just the most frightening thing. The captain, our tour guide of the ship, of the boat, he jumped ship.

Oh, I'm trying to put it in the boat. See ya! It was 15 minutes of sheer, scary hell. It was terrifying. Did he decide the ocean was safer than his boat? Yeah, yeah. There was a passing boat. It was a bigger boat and he jumped onto it.

I can't believe it. He just left you guys. We were all on the bottom of the boat, of this long-tailed boat, huddled down so we didn't fall overboard. Like asylum seekers. Oh my gosh. So what happened in the end? Pardon? What happened?

Well, we just sheltered. We sort of backed up a little bit towards the island and sort of sheltered there for 15 minutes of pure terror. But she made it. of pure terror. Yeah. But she made it. She's okay. The storm sort of passed and we made it back and I'm here today. So telling the story. Thank you.

God. I love the commitment of that captain. He was going down with that ship. Oh, so good. Thank you so much. It's been a fun day. Now, Dilmar, not just a tea company, they've also got, they do so much for the community here in Sri Lanka,

including a lot of schools for underprivileged and disadvantaged children. But we also got to experience driving on the roads over here, and that is a wild time. Cars, tuk-tuks, motorcycles, all going. I feel like any lane's fine as long as you're going in that direction, right? Yeah, and some calls and texts coming through about when you nearly died overseas. Who have we got on the phone there, mate? Victoria, good morning. How did you nearly die overseas?

Good morning. Yeah, so I wanted to get a t-shirt in Naples, basically saying I survived driving in Naples, because, you know, I might seem small, but when you're on the motorway next to someone reading a newspaper like they're sitting at the breakfast table, it can be very unnerving, to be fair. Reading the newspaper while driving. I mean, that's, you know, that's impressive. Right up to the eyes.

It was in front of the windscreen. In front of the windscreen, yeah. Wow. We've got Natalie as well. Natalie, what did you experience overseas? We got hijacked in Tanzania. Wow. I know. Still can't believe it. We got hijacked in Tanzania. Wow.

I know. Still can't believe it. We were travelling down into the Rift Valley in a big old truck like they have on the tour groups. This was in the 90s. Yeah. So it had been pretty safe for a while there. We got down into the bottom of the Rift Valley and we heard this massive boom. It sounded like a gunshot.

And then these guys just appeared out of nowhere. They came into the bus, the truck they forced us all out of the truck. We had no time to do anything or hide anything. This was just an old army truck. There was nowhere to hide belongings. So basically they cleared us out. They made us all life face down on the ground in the middle of the desert. Anyway, they went through our truck. They were looking for American dollars. They frisked us all, looking for jewellery and anything that we tried to hide in our clothes.

They took a few people's cameras, passports, all the money they could find. It was pretty scary. Gee whiz. And so what happened at the end, though? How did you get away? Well, once they had decided that they couldn't get anything else out of us, and the Tanzanian driver and the cook weren't telling them anything about who the driver was, who our guide was.

I think they just gave up. I think they knew they were on a limited amount of time before maybe someone else came along. And they just left us in the desert. Wow. Once they'd gone, we were able to get up and get back into our truck. And we just, yeah, got out of there. Jesus, Terry. And I imagine quite a silent bus ride home.

A really freaked out bus ride home. There were 16 of us. I was one of the younger people on the tour. It was a lot of older people as well, and they'd never been through anything like that. Everyone was just completely freaked out. Wow. It was a lot of drinking that night.

Yeah, I can imagine. Glad you made it out all right. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. A half kg of butter up to $11 in some supermarkets for the most expensive brand. That's crazy. Yeah, that is breaking news in New Zealand. You'd be pleased to know there's still a lot happening over here.

We did research, though, that you can get fat spread over here in Sri Lanka. That's what it's called. We'll bring you back a kg of fat spread for a quarter of the price. We'll have to bring you back a few because we've had some intel from something that happened at the workplace. Now, there is a table that sits in the middle of the office, a communal table that every now and again we'll have meetings with. Every now and again someone will put something up there,

like someone will make a cake. Like Rob will make a lovely cake and he'll be like, hey, here's a cake, you know, for the office. No, say what you were about to say. You were like, help yourself. You were going to say, here's a cake. Help yourself. Help yourself.

But help yourself doesn't mean I'm not going to take the whole cake. No. I don't see an asterisk. It's a table where expired promotional sanitary products will end up on there. That can happen, yeah. Deodorants. There was melatonin Expired melatonin That sort of stuff

So yesterday on the table of freebies Megan Over to you There was a bag So someone in the office has got avocados Got an avocado tree So this has happened a few times Where there's a bag of avocados

Put on the freebie table So one bag How many in a bag? I think today there was nine okay oh four nine nine this is what how many did you take i took four four from the nine that table means help yourself it's not like the supermarket there wasn't an asterisk being like limit two per person it was help yourself it feels like we yeah it's for the office you know like also at the moment excuse me there's not a lot i can eat at the moment you know i'm on a very strong one's fault but yours

it's my cholesterol but that's fine but i'm for avocados you'll be going to christmas i'm and avocados are just kind of coming out of season So they're very expensive So I did indeed help myself Under that help yourself logic You could have just taken the whole bag And been guilt free I didn't want to be greedy

I didn't want to be greedy You should have just taken one Excuse me. I left more than I took. I thought that would be a good rule. It still seems excessive to me, but hey, it's all right. 4, 4, 8, 7 on the text. A bag of nine avocados.

How many are you allowed to take? Legally. I mean, legally, you're not doing anything wrong, but morally, I feel like there's huge question marks. Oh, everyone's just going to text in, why didn't you take the whole lot? And the answer is, I don't know, but I'm trying not to be a monster. No one's going to text in, take the whole lot.

No one. And you're in a race against time now trying to get rid of four avocados. You would never have known unless someone looked in my handbag. Shopping for avocados from the office. I love it. All right, go, Rhys. Okay. Next, the song that we got sung to us today.

Yeah. Yeah. Beautiful. Beautiful. We went to a little, while you were stealing avocados, we went to a. We went to a good wholesome stuff. Oh, I was going for disadvantaged Sri Lankan kids. I'll have your medals ready when you get home.

Yeah, well, tell you what happened. If only we had four avocados to give these children. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. You need to share what you left for your wife before we left. I mean, there's a lot to do before you go away. I don't know why.

Like, someone said it the other day. It's like, it's not like you're dying, but it feels like you need to get all your affairs in order. You two were so flustered before you left. I was like talking to John, he's like, I've got so much to do today before I leave. So much. Mow the lawns. And then I was mowing the lawns.

I was like, why am I mowing the lawns? Who cares about mowing the lawns? Also, you've gone away for a week. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, true. You put all this mental pressure on yourself. How long were your lawns?

Yeah, they were long. They were long. And then I was like, I'm away for another week and then I won't do it. It was going to be a three-week gap. That was my thought process. So he made sure he mowed his lawns. That was good. That was good.

Well, I love a to-do list, as you guys know. It's my thing. Yeah. I love to-do lists. And I usually take care of the stuff at home in the evening just the way that it works with my wife working during the day you know so school drop off school drop off some practices bits and pieces I had council coming around I had lots of stuff organized over that week but I wasn't there to action all the

to-do list stuff so I was like well I going to have to write to-do lists for my wife and sit down and talk her through it, like a handover of the to-do list. They call that a whip in the business, don't they? Like this is a work in progress. This is where we're at. She took it pretty well. I mean, she did say it was overkill because I made it on text form, texted it to her, and also put two whiteboards up at home

of the to-do list of all the things. There were three copies. Itemizing the days with all boxes to tick and stuff like that. I thought it was helpful like this. She's like, you are going a little bit overboard, but at the same time, this is stuff that needs to be done. How much of the to-do list do you reckon has been adhered to? Well, a lot of stuff, yeah, there's a few things in there I was like,

well, you can move this if it doesn't work out. And already she's like, things are coming out of the calendar. I'm like, you're moving stuff. You could be doing this stuff. Did you color code them in order of urgency? I put them in a day-by-day system as well. Like a day, like Monday, this is Tuesday. This is what you need to do.

And then Wednesday, you could move this dentist appointment for my daughter if you need to, but this is when I booked it in or things like that. And so there's dentist appointments being shut off. Who said romance was dead? Yeah, that's right.

Overkill. Plus also the fact that we had, I had the work phone. We're taking away a work phone as well. So I had that as well. So I was trying to get

some footage for that while we went away. And then my daughter kind of almost dropped me in it. She's like two, my wife and man, and she's like, do you know that dad's

got a second phone? Maybe you can put looking into that on your to-do list. Yeah, and then Amanda's like, well, he's not, I'm not worried about him having an affair or anything. He's got too much to do on his to-do list.

If he was having an affair, I'd just have to look at the to-do list and it would tell me. Yeah, the wife. Oh yeah, affair, that's what that's happening.

Something to do on the to-do list. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The Hats. The Hats Breakfast. Live from Sri Lanka. Yeah, we are coming to you live from Sri Lanka, taking over two golden teabag tickets to put inside some Dilmar tea.

It could win you a trip to Sri Lanka right now. We're in the middle. Without a word of a lie, we're in the jungle, basically basically in a hotel next to the jungle. There's an elephant orphanage just up the road. We're shouting loudly with the poor guy next to us. Yeah, it's also the middle of the night, so other people in the hotel are trying to sleep and you're yelling. Yeah, it's nearly one o'clock in the morning. Not ideal radio hosting conditions. Yeah, the guy next to us, he's a doctor elephant.

I mean, an elephant doctor. So he specialises in elephant care, and he's actually going to take us out to see the elephants tomorrow. And apologies to the elephants as well, who are probably having to have a late night with us, fake laughing and things. But, yeah, we're over here, very selfless act, Megan, coming all the way to Sri Lanka to place.

Two tickets and a couple of boxes. Hey, let's not try and undersell it. Which you did on the first day. You did it on the first day. Why didn't we do it once they sent the boxes over? Why didn't we do it then?

Authenticity? Yes. Would be one. And it had to be done the first day in case we lost the tickets so we did that and there was a multitude of reasons don't worry

many meetings around this one the important thing is the tickets are in the boxes and the other important thing is my body clock is the complete

opposite end of the day like we said it's nearly one o'clock in the morning here and I woke up last night at probably quarter to 2 in the morning.

And I just couldn't, you know, I was ready to go. I was like, get the day started. And then as soon as you're like, don't, you don't want your brain to kick into gear. Don't kick into action. And all you're telling yourself is, don't get the brain started. And then I just focused in on my television, which had two boxes slowly maneuvering up and down one said HDMI slash DVD and the other said cable signal it was kind of like on sleep mode your TV yeah there was two off buttons I had and you hadn't hit the other one so it was on like a sleep mode system yeah and they

would kind of bounce up and down the TV but then one would bounce up the screen and the other one would chase it up the screen. And then as soon as the HDMI one hit the top of the screen, the cable one would start going down the screen and it would chase down. And all I was wanting for two hours and 45 minutes was for the two boxes to touch. So, you know, check signals making moves that, hey, maybe we should touch in some way in HDMI slash DVI.

I was like, no, no, I can't. I can't. You know how bad it ended last time. Anyway, pull it down. That's the ramblings of a madman who's had zero sleep. Why don't you just turn the TV on? Yeah, yeah. No, no, because then I was like

if I turn the TV on then I'm going to be way too engaged. Jono, Ben and Megan The Podcast. The Hits. I've gone from Colombo to the jungle where before I just picked up my bag in the hotel room and a gecko ran from under there. That gave me a heck of a fright. Yeah. And a lot of

bug spray covering our skin. I feel very greasy. I feel like I've just walked out of a ditty party or something. I feel like I look very shiny. He's been walking around with this red hat on with white writing, which is not a mega hat. But with our golden suits he's been wearing everywhere he goes, I'm like, he looks like a Trump supporter everywhere he goes.

Did you bring any other caps? Any other caps? No, just my Trump one. Just my Trump one. guys yeah did you bring any other questions any other caps no just for trump just for trump spread the good word to the people of sri lanka walking through the airport he just looked like a big american tourist um well because you guys are in sri lanka i thought i'd bring you the big news from new zealand um making headlines and concerning us all over here, is the price of butter has skyrocketed. I actually read something about this. There's crazy prices in New Zealand.

I think the cheapest I saw at the supermarket yesterday was $8.50, and there was also a block of butter for $11 for 500 grams of butter. Are you almost tempted to milk yourself and turn that into butter, Megan? Is that an option? I am tempted to make my own butter, just like people are doing that with cream on TikTok, so I'm tempted to do that. Of course you are.

Chewing your own butter. Can you just put it into a blender with some salt or something? Potentially. I think we could maybe try it when you get back. But my other question was, can you bring us back some butter? How much is butter in Sri Lanka? Okay, so if I could get you what? This is a brand called Astra.

It also says on there, Astra fat spread. Okay. That'll do. That'll do. 500 grams of Astra fat spread. Well, that seems all right. That's going to convert to about $5. That'll do. 500 grams of Astra fat spread. Well, that seems all right. That's going to convert to about $5.50 New Zealand. Right.

How's that? Is that clear? And it's going to also convert to about $50,000 in heart attack costs. Heart operations costs. Fat spread. It says fat spread. Yeah, see that? I'm not making it up.

But it is on bread. So they do use it on bread. Yeah. So fat spread. That's. It says fat spread. Yeah, see there. I'm not making it up. But it is on bread. So they do use it on bread. Yeah. So fat spread. That's kind of what butter is. Okay, great. Yeah. I guess when you...

Yeah. Do you know, I was looking here. I've just Googled. Rent prices in New Zealand are 291% higher than in Sri Lanka. Wow. Oh, really? Yeah. Wild.

Okay. So you guys aren't. Okay, so you guys aren't coming back, are you? And if you want to go to the movies, nah, well, we'll probably have to just due to families. You're finding your family here.

Yeah, probably good. Probably good. Whatever happened to that guy? John O'Bannon Megan. The podcast. The hits. Live from Sri Lanka on our Dilmar Golden Teabag ticket mission and you could be winning one of two trips to The hits. We're live from Sri Lanka on our Dilmar Golden Teabag Ticket Mission,

and you could be winning one of two trips to Sri Lanka. You are live from heaven over there. I can see just by looking at the hotel room that it's very fancy. The artwork on the wall must be nice. Thank you. We are a better class of people. We always had dinner with the High Commissioner of New Zealand. I ate eggs from an animal I hadn't even heard of.

What was it? Do you know? I can't even remember the name of it, but it had delicious eggs. We've changed, Megan. Yeah, I can see. I had to crush a lobster with a pair of pliers to get my food. That's how fancy that meal was. Well, while you're having diplomatic dinners with the high

commissioner in uh sri lanka i am living the dream over here as well um last night i had my two-year-old and four-year-old in the bath together and always i have bath they're great they don't fight it's all good um but last night i was out of the room momentarily and I hear, Mum, not like a scared, just like, Mum, I need you. It's from my son. Like a question mark. Come and investigate. Who's this coming from? My son.

My son, my oldest, the four-year-old. He's like, Mum. So I go in there. That sounded like Mr. G. And he is standing there in the bath holding on to something and he was like hey um there's something yuck in the bath in his hand he is holding his sister's poop he's holding he didn't know what it was he was, there's something yucky in the bath.

And I was like, don't. Can you just tell him, next time you think there's something yucky in the bath, first thing you do is don't pick it up. Hey, maybe he's got a knack for it. There's about nine beaches in Auckland he can help clear up with that sort of attitude. But as soon as I said to him, I was like, buddy, that's your sister's poop. He chucks it in the air and he starts running in the bath like and he mixes it all in he's mixing it all in while he's treating water and so i pull him out i've done the whole sterilization thing but the like the worst part is my daughter's still

sitting there and she's just grinning and she's like i pooed in the bath how i know that i'm raising a psycho i can't remember the last time i did that which is probably a good thing oh we had a quick we had a quick bath after the high commission dinner last night together yeah i tell you where that wouldn't happen megan at the high commissioner's house in sri lanka and if it did happen we'd have 10 people to sort that issue out. Don't you worry about that. Wait, did you even bath with the High Commissioner? Oh, look, we can't divulge any information, mate.

You do you, guys. Whatever you need to do. You may wonder how the world, these big trade deals happen. Well, they happen in a bath. Next, a bath with Trump. Hey, next we'll tell you how you could be bathing with the high commission. In Sri Lanka? It could be you.

We can guarantee that. For the record, that didn't happen. But for the record, you could be going to Sri Lanka. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. Honestly, these suits, Megan, I know you like your fashion. This material, I reckon the same material astronaut Katy Perry wore to space.

It is very structurally strong. No air is getting in. It's like you're wearing foil. Nothing's escaping. It's like you're in a. And nothing's escaping us. It's like you're in a sweet suit. Nothing is getting in or out. Speaking of nothing getting in, it was us to the Dilmar factory. So we got all the way to Colombo.

17 hours, we've been traveling. We got there on a tuk-tuk. It was very hot. And these stringent suits, as Joe likes to describe them. Structurally, structurally. Structurally stringent suits. And yesterday, you would have heard, we got up to the security of the gate of the dilma factory uh and our structurally stringent suits already to go inside and this is what happened so now we're just going to go and

go and plant the golden tea bag up to the gate hello johnny from new zealand uh you are you're a listener no not on the list not on the list for like two days you sure we're not on the list you don't know okay okay okay this is probably I'll make some calls outside I'll call till harness even get in so the issue was our names were separately we were in John Owen being it was Jonathan and Benjamin separately. So we were on the list. Yeah, we got through in the end. Dilhard and Amrit from Dilmar took us inside.

We got to see just the amazing setup where they make and they test all the tea as well. And then we got to put the two golden teabag tickets inside the teabag boxes. And do you know how amazing they are, Megan? They do some incredible things, which we'll talk about, for the people of sri lanka at dilma yeah incredible things for us i mean john i got to wear a henna i mean you know the factory i mean charitable work all around you know just to feel like it was part of the team unnecessary like no one he didn't need it

no it was a huge waste of a hairnet to be honest they don't want you to lose that one remaining hair that's just what they do you know those things they go there but all seriousness they do we got to experience some of that uh that yesterday actually uh the mjf center of uh schlenkens young play the exciting audio of us putting the tea bag oh yes sorry have a listen to this sorry this is the moment the whole point of why you why you're there the whole point yeah sorry drop the golden tea bag ticket and listen to the excitement we did it we did it we did it we did it guys ben's just like that makes it all worthwhile that makes the two days worth it worthwhile that was 12 seconds you've flown across the world for 12 seconds

they were concentrating on what they were doing in the factory their work is there but you know but hey there's two trips for two to be won to Sri Lanka

which is pretty incredible so they'll be coming up very soon yeah but we then after that went to one of the schools that Dilmar has

so they help out disadvantaged children disadvantaged children that Ben refused to let win the schools that Dilma has. So they help out disadvantaged children. Disadvantaged children that Ben refused to let win any games. That's not true. That's not true at all. They may have been disadvantaged in life, but they won't be advantaged in this competition. No, that's not true.

But they've got some incredible things. They've got culinary school, education, sewing. Did you or did you not beat a little girl in a game of throw the ball into the bucket? I thought we were playing together. Ben! You and the girl were playing together? Yeah.

I thought we were all on the same team. Megan, I know how competitive you are. You would have been a nightmare. Yeah, I wouldn't have let them win either. No. But it is amazing. I don't care you're in a wheelchair. It is amazing what they do for the people of Sri Lanka.

It's really cool. All this stuff for free. They just give back. And there was this classroom of 30 of the most adorable little toddlers, little preschoolers. I wanted to take them all home, Megan, but that would have been pretty weird. They all had parents. They had parents.

So that would have been kidnapping. Kidnapping, yeah. Right. Yeah, but have a listen to them. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. right yeah but have a listen to them bye bye hi bye see you later very cute yeah they're adorable cute. It was a little bit creepy.

It was a little bit creepy at the end when you're like, bye, darling. Did I turn it creepy? A little bit. Oh, then you

won't like that I've got three of them in the suitcase then. If you want to check out some of our adventures in Sri Lanka, you

can do so at the Hits Breakfast on Instagram or social media. And of course, we have completed our mission, Megan, but you know, we need to experience a bit more of the country.

The things that you could do if you win this trip, right? Sure. Yeah. Okay, well, there is a chance to win the trip. If we don't get out here and do God's work, who else is going to do it, Megan? Okay. What do you need to tell yourself?

Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. We are coming to you live from Sri Lanka. We took over two golden teabag tickets to put inside two Dilmar tea boxes. You could win a trip to Sri Lanka if you buy some Dilmar tea and discover them inside. And yes, you might be thinking that they have done their job already. They did it on day one.

They put the golden tickets into the boxes. But they are still over there. I don't know why. There's stuff we need to experience because whatever we do on our trip, you could do on your trip. It's something I really wanted to do. We just wanted to make sure that the trip was going to be perfect for whoever wins it, Megan.

Right. We don't want to be setting the fine listeners of the Hits Breakfast off on some two-bit backyard journey through Sri Lanka. No, you're right. It's a luxury trip to Sri Lanka. You're the heroes here. I see. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's a luxury trip to Sri Lanka. You're the heroes here. I see. Yeah, yeah.

There's many things that we're doing that we're like, no, that is not worthy of becoming part of the prize. And something you can choose to do, it's up to you, is to join in on cricket games. They love their cricket in Sri Lanka. I love my cricket. You know, New Zealanders, we're big fans of cricket. And so I was very excited to come on over here with a little cricket match.

I was excited to go over with a little cricket match. And my cricket top on, my black cap's top. I wanted to get involved. I even saw Martin Guptill, black cap at the airport, punished him. I was like, you've been to Sri Lanka. How many times should I play cricket? And he's like, every day you need to get out there. So that's what I've been trying to do.

Do you know Martin Guptpta was on a flight to Dubai and he didn't know he was meant to be catching that plane until that morning, so only two hours before. Oh, my God. So he was incredibly flustered. He was going over to do commentary in Pakistan and Ben is pulling him aside to make social content at the airport as this man has just woken this morning to go,

oh, I'm off to Pakistan today. I needed some advice. Oh, hold there, mate. Can we just talk cricket? Can I get a selfie with you? It's not every day you run into Marty Guptill, but as I've been going around, we've been seeing cricket games around the place

or just playing it on the streets. We saw one in Sri Lanka, and Jono, you introduced me by saying, ladies and gentlemen, here's Black Cap. Black Cap from the black caps Ben Boyce amateur cricket enthusiasts please welcome black cat Benjamin Boyce they got quite excited this group of shoes they did yeah that was a black cap because I was wearing the top and I kept saying not a black cap not a black cap but I feel like that maybe was lost in translation

I think it just sounded like I'm a black cat I'm a black cat so I'm a black cat. So I faced one ball, one delivery, and I got out. I got out. And they celebrated hard. This black cat is terrible. Yeah, that's probably what they were thinking. They were like, we got out a black cat. That was incredible. I had my head down low, heading back towards the car.

But then suddenly they wanted selfies. And that's where Ben said no, because I'm not a black cat. No, no, no, he didn't. He fully embraced the selfies. I had so many selfies. They kept saying, what's your name, what's your name? And I kept saying Ben, Ben. But that didn't register with them at all, you know.

They're definitely going to go back and Google and be bitterly disappointed. Yeah. Do you resemble anyone that could be on the black cat? Because I hope you don't, because they're going to go, that guy was terrible. How did he make the national side? Yeah, so apologies to the Black Caps. Their reputation is...

And arrogantly driving around Sri Lanka, popping out of a van going, I'm here to play cricket with you. I just want to join in on the fun. I don't want to steal the show. But anyway, there's plenty more cricket to be played over the next couple of days, Megan. It's all for the good cause, all right? Sure.

For the hits listener. Yeah. And you're hopping on the plane tomorrow and coming back. Can't wait. Maybe in a couple more days we might see you. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits.

Nearing midnight. Here we are in Sri Lanka feeling like a box of fluffies. Oh, sorry. Were you wanting some sympathy with that comment? Oh, it's nearing midnight. Here we are in Sri Lanka feeling like a box of fluffies bringing you some high quality. Were you wanting some sympathy with that comment? Oh, it's nearing midnight. Oh, don't. He's in a weird mood. He's found some buttons on here that play through the desert.

Are you going to explain this? I found a button on the desk here in Sri Lanka that does a... Yeah. It's a different kind of energy at this time of the morning and then with your, like, midnight action, I think. Yeah. You're ready for a...

Oh, jeez, mate. Can we send him to bed now, Megan? Oh, my God, does that need to... OK, it stops. Yeah, it stops, it stops. But anyway, hang on. On the way over here, guess what yeah it stops it stops uh but anyway hey on the way over here guess what i was talking to this kiwi guy on the flight and he was he was going to say i was talking to someone on a plane punishing i was punishing him and he moved

out of new zealand when he was a teenager okay but moved to singapore and he's like i have a cook that lives with him wow a cleaner that lives with him and he's only paying 15% tax! 15%! What are we doing? Well we're staying in Sri Lanka on a Dilmar funded trip. Yeah, you're right. But wild, eh? And he said the trick in Singapore was the government's brought the bottom up So they provide housing for those that can't usually afford it and he said when the bottoms humming He's humming everyone's humming. Yeah. Well, there are some places that paid zero percent income to yeah Yeah, I buy a lot of states. Yeah

Lots of Middle Eastern countries do it, yeah. So you've got 0%. They take the Singapore and go to zero. Is that what Trump's in Florida? Yeah, Florida. Yeah, it probably is, right? Yeah, he's moved all his stuff to Florida. No tax.

Yeah. Crazy stuff. Bahamas. You want to live in the Bahamas? There you go. No tax in the Bahamas. Yeah, Qatar. Yeah, plenty of places.

Yeah. Maldives. Doesn't that sound Bahamas. Yeah, Qatar. Yeah, plenty of places. Yeah. Maldives. Doesn't that sound... They were all exotic locations too, right? Remember, I didn't pay Inland Revenue tax for a number of years and I had to end up paying them bloody thousands of dollars. Yeah, they come after you after that. They do.

The annoying thing about the Inland Revenue Department is they don't come after you when they go, oh, hey, the first week. Hey, old mate's mispaying his tax. Maybe we should alert him. No, we'll wait three or four years. Then we'll give him a call out of nowhere. The ultimate prank. You wonder if they check in every day and go, he still hasn't paid it?

We'll keep this going. Jono, Ben and Megan. The Podcast. The Hits. Yes, we travelled all the way over to Sri Lanka in our golden suits that don't breathe, but that's okay, because we were on a mission to Sri Lanka in our golden suits that don't breathe, but that's okay. Because we were on a mission to put two golden teabag tickets inside two boxes of Dilmar tea at the iconic Dilmar tea factory here in Sri Lanka. Megan, can I paint a picture for you?

Please. The white shirts that we were wearing underneath the non-breathable golden suits in felt like 40 degree humid heat our shirts were stopping in our own body juices wet business shirt competition we couldn't we went to buy another shirt but that was a wild wild experience so then I took the bait to the hotel room and I just coated them in deodorant and hung them over the chair in the room. And boy, oh boy, I'm going to bring those home for you to wear. Can't wait to get back into those tomorrow.

Why don't you make the business pants? Why don't you turn them into like gold shorts? Oh, we could cut them up. That's a great idea. Yeah. Now, we did not factor in the humidity's a great idea. Give them a snow. Yeah. Yeah. Now, we did not factor in the humidity and the moisture content inside of those suits.

But it was awesome to go inside the factory, see how the Del Marti is made and all the things they do. They do so much for the people of Sri Lanka and the community as well. Yeah, they've got resorts around the place. They've got schools that help disadvantaged children. We'll play some of that after 7 o'clock. Been beating some of the disadvantaged children in games which was fun uh i was like bro they're disadvantaged but anyway he was like well they're not getting any advantage in this game no no not entirely true

there's some truth to that there's some also some lies the truth is you beat a six-year-old disadvantage girl in a game anyway you're going off topic right now. We need to focus on the fact that we got to see how they try all the teas. There were hundreds and hundreds of teas in front of us at the Dilmar Tea Factory. And we were with Dilhan, who runs Dilmar Tea, and he told us how they create the tea. Okay, so we are in Dilmar HQ and surrounded by hundreds, hundreds of cups of tea. Yeah, there's so many cups of tea. Now, what's happening here?

Dilhan, what's happening? Okay, so this is where we taste and assess tea. So we make sure that your breakfast tea is bright, brisk. We make sure that your extra strength has strength and intensity. And that's connected to the soils. It's connected to the sunshine. And, you know, weather changes every day. So you have to taste every week, and that's why we taste the 10,000 teas every week.

So people are actually taste-testing every day? What a job, right? How many of them? Sitting here and drinking tea all day. Well, it's five of them. Five of them, drinking tea and consistently going to the toilet all day, right? How many would they have a day? Like, how many cups of tea? Each of them, 200, 200 consistently going to the toilet all day long. How many would they have a day? Like, how many cups of tea?

Each of them, 200, 200 plus, depending on the day. Two hundred cups of tea! And then... We have a big golden spoon here. We have a big golden spoon, and then we take five mils and... And just slurp it, slurp it up. You have to. You have to. Because taste is on the brain.

80% of taste is aroma. And, you know, imagine, I know you don't believe me, you look like... I feel like you're pranking us still, hun. You want these New Zealand idiots to come and slurp. I'll tell you what, take a taste. OK, so I'm going to dip my golden spoon, not the silver spoon, into tea.

I'm doing the same as well. I've got some room to be slurred. Slurp it. Send it back. Send it back. That's no good. That's no good. I'm sorry to say. That's actually really good.

That's good. Brilliant. That was lovely. That was pretty exaggerated. For radio, though, we had to really emphasize that. My father would be very proud. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast.

The Hits. The Hits. The Hits Breakfast. Live from Sri Lanka. Yeah, we came over here in our golden suits to take over the Dilmar Golden Teabag tickets. Snuck them inside two Dilmar tea boxes and you, very shortly, will have the chance to win two trips to Sri Lanka. Two trips for two if you find one of those lucky tickets.

I mean, I don't mean to harp on about it, but I am still, like, confused. You've done your job, your one job on day one, and then you're still there. You're still there. Flights out of Sri Lanka are a nightmare, Megan. That's what I will say. What, they don't have them every day? No, well, they do, but, you know, we're also mindful of the state of the New Zealand media industry,

and we're looking for the most cost-effective flights. And also carbon footprint too. Carbon footprint, you don't want to just fly and then fly right back. You want to give it some time, Megan. Yeah, we're not Taylor Swift. Yeah, okay. Well, instead of doing the New Zealand Herald Daily Quiz

that we usually do at this point, I thought, because you're spending so much time over there, I would quiz you on how well you know Sri Lanka. Oh, do you know what? Actually, we actually spent some time in the van today, travelling in Sri Lanka, doing the New Zealand Hero Daily Quiz on our car trip. We got seven out of ten for that last one.

That's pretty good. Yeah, to be honest, I answered none of the questions everyone else in the van did. Every question that was answered right, I was like, good one, guys, keep it up. Just doing supportive stuff on the bench. All right, well, we'll see how we go with Sri Lanka. These are things that we should know from being here, you think?

I think a lot of them, yeah, you probably should have just picked up. Okay. Things like the locals are warm, hospitable, and love to feed you. If you don't get 10 out of 10, you're being sent home straight away. Okay. All right. If we don't get 10 out of 10, this is a racism scandal. What is the currency used in Sri Lanka?

Rupee. Yeah, Sri Lankan rupee. Rupee is scandal. What is the currency used in Sri Lanka? Rupee. Yeah, Sri Lankan rupee. Rupee is correct. There is multi-choice, but I'll only give them to you if you need them. What is the airport code for Sri Lanka's main airport? CO. Colombo, yeah, what would that be? Would it be CL or CO?

BIA, BAN, COM, CMB. What? Is that the name of the airport? No, I'm giving you the multi-choice options. You've really bamboozled us. BIA, BAN, COM, or CMB? COM. Or CMB.

CMB. What is Sri Lanka's main export to cinnamon, but how many metric tons does it export each year? 14, 18, 22, or 25 tons? Hold there, Megan. No Googling. That's a great question. You don't know.

We're not in the same room as you. Same rules apply as the Herald quiz. I mean, I can see you, and I can see Jono tapping away and looking at his screen. I was emailing my mother, just so you know. And how many metric tons of cinnamon does Sri Lanka export? Well, exactly 26,677. I think you'll find that as of 2023. I think that's correct.

So what's your answer? 25. Well, it pulls in $364 million US dollars a year annually. I'm going's correct. So what's your answer? 25. Well, my answer is it pulls in 364 million US dollars a year annually. I'm going to go, eh, it was 22 tonnes. Sri Lanka is also known for its tea, as we know, as

well as its visually stunning plantations. Globally, how does the country rank as a tea producer? First, third, fourth, or sixth? You should know this and if you get it wrong get on the next flight home well tilma is number one but as a country i mean i'm sure there's some other lesser known brands pulling things down potentially so i would say i would say they're in the top five global tea exporters of the world okay which one which one? Maybe China, I think, is number one. Yeah, right.

I'd put India number two. Kenya, from memory, was number three. So are you going fourth? Fourth, yeah. Yeah, fourth. You are correct. You may stay for another day. You actually did pretty well.

We're staying for the rest of the week, but we'll just drop that bombshell on you right now.