Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL SHOW: Megan loses her cool mum status...

Episode Date: May 26, 2024

ON THE SHOW TODAY Jono writes a poem for his wife... MAFS Relationship experts on infidelity  Would you do this for your pet? Ben is so sick of this word! Juicy old celebrity scandals! What should you keep in your bra? Check us out! Facebook: The Hits Breakfast with Jono and Ben Instagram: TheHitsBreakfastSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Cheers to Dilma, making the world a better tea. How are you guys doing? Megan, you had a potluck over the weekend. I did, and I didn't win Lotto either, so I'm here. No. I don't think anyone won Lotto, though. Oh, that's good.

The big prize was the strap. Did you even watch Lotto? No, who, like, watch it on the TV? Yeah. Who watches it on the TV? Some people, I guess, do. I would have thought your investment in Lotto. You always, every week, I'm going to win Lotto.

You'd think you'd watch Lotto. Oh, no. I just check my ticket afterwards. I don't need to sit there watching them roll out the balls. I'm only up to season three, so I've got a long way to go. No spoilers, okay? Long way to go. So you had a potluck over the weekend.

We talked about this on Friday. Everyone had to bring a dish that they'd seen on social media. Someone had created and you had to recreate that and then people were going to judge it, kind of like MasterChef. Yeah, so it's, you know, those videos that you send to your friends and you're like, oh, this looks good and you never make them. So it was just a dinner with all of these things that you

see. Oh, I like that theme. It's a great theme. Yeah, it was cool. And some of them ended up like looking better than they probably were and some of them were delicious and it's fair to say I think, although it wasn't officially judged, I think we won. like looking better than they probably were. And some of them were delicious. And it's fair to say, I think, although it wasn't officially judged, I think we won.

Well, you said there was going to be a scoring system, like my kitchen rules. And then you're a little put off that there wasn't a scoring system. It was supposed to be real cutthroat and there was supposed to be a winner. How do you know you won then? Well, because everyone was like, what did everyone like?

And everyone's like, oh, it was really good. Everything was really nice. But, you know, I did like the limoncello tiramisu, which is what we went with in the end. We made a dessert. So it always got a shout out, but it was never deemed the winner. Did you like, come on guys, we need to decide. No, it was just in my mind.

I was like, oh, everyone here is just going participation award. Everything was really, but the limoncello tiramisu. Oh, well, it is a Monday morning, and it's a pretty exciting Monday here on The Hits. We want you to have a better Monday than Garfield. Every caller on air with Jono and Ben this morning

wins $100 and a family pass to the Garfield movie. Call now. 0800 The Hits. Yeah, throughout the movie, throughout the movie, or throughout the morning, you can win tickets to the movie. There we go. Just a couple of days' time. May 30th, Garfield is in cinemas. Chris Pratt, Samuel L. Jackson provide some of the voices.

Listen, we haven't even said call-up, but look at the phones. Oh, wow. Six jam-packed lines on a Monday morning. I know. You wouldn't read about it. Let's go to, should we go to line three there, Grace? Aaron from Tauranga. There you go,, we've got a line three there, Grace. Aaron from Tauranga. How you going, Jono?

Yeah, we're doing well, mate. Lovely to have you on the show this morning. Who do you think won Megan's dinner party? Well, mate, look, to be perfectly honest, my wife's nana used to make a tiramisu, tiramisu, sorry, not with a limoncello,

but I'm going with Megan's. I'm definitely going with a Tiramisu, Megan. Yes. He'll say anything to give us $100. We're going to give you $100 to kickstart your Monday. Are you off to work? Are you working right now? What's going on?

I'm actually traveling down the highway in Tauranga, mate, heading down to work. So, yeah, lovely morning this morning. And I hope you guys have a great week. Oh, you too, Aaron. Look after you. What do you do? I'm an HR and health and safety manager for a construction company.

So we build subdivisions, residential and industrial. And at the moment, we're in an industrial one. So she's pretty full on. Oh, nice. Well, you go on, Amber. You sound like you've got a far more important job than we do. We'll let you get on with your day. Thank you for listening.

And we'll get you out of that $100. Thanks to Garfield. Thanks, Cigarfield. Thanks, mate. Have a good one. Cheers, guys. Throughout the morning, you can win more Family Pastas, Cigarfield,

and $100 just like that. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. The weather not looking too good throughout the week. Sub-zero temperatures, strong winds, and big waves

from a bit of Arctic blast that's going to be hitting us throughout the week. You're a big waves guy? You're not big waves? Well, I don't know. When I'm not out in big waves, yeah. He went boogie boarding once and caught a fish.

Did he ever tell you that, Megan? What? I came out for the beach looking like a legend. It was a snapper. But it was on a kid's boogie board. But the fish had passed away. Natural causes, I'm guessing. I don't know.

Was it floating and you just picked it up? I picked it up. It came back on like a tray back to the beach. Everyone's like, did that legend catch a fish on a boogie board? Was it big? It was quite big, yeah. It was quite big.

Oh, wow. Did that legend. I don't know if anyone said did that legend, but I tried to make it look like I had. Now, Megan, you gave us some homework to do over the weekend. On Friday, you came to the show with a disgustingly cute card that Andrew, your husband, made for you. Yeah, while he was at work.

Handmade card. Handmade card. I was just saying it doesn't cost anything and it's such a cute sentiment when there's no reason. It costs a little bit of how we feel about Andrew, but hey, that's fine. It costs a bit of credibility. No, it's lovely.

Time, but time is precious and he dedicated his time to you. It's fine. Costed his credibility. No, it's lovely. Time, but time is precious. And he dedicated his time to you. It's beautiful. And you guys, you said, well, you two should. Shut up, Ben. It was lovely. And he wrote lovely things about you, didn't he? What did he say?

That I was beautiful and amazing. Actually, I might be adding words. You get the gist. You're a legend for catching a fish on a boogie board. All that sort of stuff. He could write you a card. And you said, gist you're a legend for catching a fish on a boogie board all that sort of stuff he could write you a card and you said well you should

go and do handmade cards for your wives over the weekend yeah for no reason and we thought well you see what would their reaction be well number one would be

what have you done wrong yeah exactly and you said what are you planning on doing wrong yeah what do you want what do you want

yeah so I did it over the weekend and I went one further. Like creatively, I'll put my hand up and say nowhere near Andrew's artistic efforts. What was on the front? It was a white A4 paper, you know, to my beautiful wife. Bit of a stick figure picture of her.

Oh, right. Stick figure. You're right. It went all out. The Pack and Save Stick Man. Yeah, gotcha. Was there any colour? Eh? And a set of bosoms. Oh, yeah. Okay. The pack and save stick man Was there any colour?

And a set of bosoms Oh yeah That's to represent her Otherwise it just looks like a stick figure And I even wrote a poem So I went one better than Andrew And weirdly my daughter Poppy Was around too so she got involved With this poem and I don't quite know

How I'll feel about it, but have a listen. Jen, I've written you a poem. Cool. Poppy, would you like to read it out? It might be cuter coming from your daughter. Okay. Okay. To my Jen with two Ns.

I love your back Ns. And your front parts as well. And your nice smell. I love you to all the ends of the earth with all the grith of my heart girth? Girth of my heart. To the girl I like to smooch around and sometimes I like to hound they say happy wife happy life but I say the happiest life because of my wife. Touching? Something like that. Yeah. It's really bad.

So that was the feedback. Didn't need to do it. You got your daughter to read some pretty like off the nose things. Probably the first time she did. But you brought her into it. She didn't offer to. You were like, you read it. She's like, what?

Hadn't pre-read it. That was probably her debut saying the word girth. I'd say so. There we go. So it didn't go down that well. Well, you brought it back at the end. That last line was pretty cute. Thank you.

So handmade cards, I'd say all thumbs up. Thumbs up for me. Lovely touch. If you do something today for your partner, make them a handmade card. Yeah, it's sweet. Ben?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, Ben. Let's do your homework tonight. You've got to come to bud. I can try a card. Okay, I'll try a card today card Put it on your to-do list I've got my whiteboard at home It's ready to go

The hits The Jono and Ben podcast Right at first sight New Zealand We've got our own version of the show Back again on screens It's on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday On three You can catch up on three now

We've got the experts Relationship experts John Aiken and Joe Robertson Joining us in the studio Well John Do you consider yourself an expert? Well, I try to do my best, but Jo certainly is the heavily skilled one, the sex expert. Yeah, well, Jo Robertson, nice to meet you. Lovely to have you coming in.

Very excited about the show. Yeah, I'm excited. It's great. John and I have a great time. We were just saying off air, because the Aussie one, bloody shambles. It's been described as that. Ratings through right yeah a huge success yeah well it goes into 120 countries does it so it has been a massive massive success right around the world the maths New Zealand one is like an appetizer it's a smaller version uh and then of course you've got this New Zealand

cast authentic very diverse uh but with lots of relationship issues. Do you notice a big difference between the Aussies and the Kiwis in terms of, because we're quite a reserved nation, generally speaking. Yeah, well, I certainly noticed that with the Aussies, they're very combative, and they tend to launch opinions and scorch each other in those commitment ceremonies. Whereas, Jo, I think what we have with the New Zealanders, they were very much a cohesive group. They call each other out every once in a while, but it's deeply respectful. No one's throwing a drink in anyone's face? Just me to John.

Jo, the first time we're married at first sight, which is exciting. And I saw even on your Instagram today on the way here to do some interviews, you're like, thankfully the Uber driver didn't ask you what your job was. Honestly, Uber drivers and me, I just struggle so much. Because I have done a lot of research in porn. Right. you're like thankfully the uber driver didn't ask you what your job was oh honestly i uber drivers and me i just struggle so much because especially i have done a lot of research in porn right so what is your official job when i say hey i'm taking you somewhere in an uber hey joe what do you do yeah so i just basically try i just say i'm a relationship counselor okay but it's a bit of i mean it's true but also i'm much more specialized than that but i just try and avoid the nitty gritty you sound like you're doing it for authentic purposes.

When you say you're researching pornography, are you also doing it for the same? I've been helping Jo out with a lot of research. What an interesting job, though. Do you think, because we've got young kids, I've got a young boy. The effect that material can have on young minds growing up, what is it?

Yeah, it's really significant. I've got three young boys. Yeah. So that's too many, by the way. You should just stop. Just have one. Yeah, it's really significant. It changes the way that they have sex.

It changes the way that they do relationships. It changes the way that they see the opposite sex. And yeah, it's really significant. So it's very harmful. Generally, it's what I call a high-risk product. Yeah. So you could engage with it in a healthier way, but it does tend to create a lot of damage and chaos. In terms of Kiwis and approaching the sexy stuff on the show, how are we with that? They were a bit shy, weren't they? They were a bit shy and a touch awkward about it.

I mean, one of the great things with them is that it wasn't all lightness and, you know, everyone getting along. There's drama, there's relationship issues. Joe and I have to call out bad behaviour because some of them, anyone on this show, you know, they can put on a mask and we really have to hold a mirror up to them to say, hey, let's get authentic here. So there are some real moments of crisis

with these guys which i think uh come out in the commitment ceremonies what do people come and talk to you about all the things but i talk a lot about sex i talk a lot about infidelity right um and then your general relationship stuff but tend to be quite high crisis really high conflict in terms of infidelity a lot of people are like cheaters. They'll never change their spots. Like, do you believe that cheating is the end of a relationship and there's no coming back? About 70% of couples survive cheating.

Wow. Yeah. So, and I've got high, high, high hopes for couples where there's been betrayal, which can take lots of different forms, but you have to do the work.

So sweeping it under the rug. No, your relationship is going to be unhappy doing the hard work, talking it out. Yeah. You can survive. That's interesting to be unhappy. Doing the hard work, talking it out, yeah, you can survive. That's interesting. But once trust is lost, I imagine it's hard to get back, John. Oh, you can get it back.

You've just got to do some really heavy lifting. Look, we see it on the show all the time. You know, people tend to stray. And they don't think that they're doing anything wrong. And then they get exposed. And then you're really sitting with them saying, what are you going to do about this? Are you going to turn this around? Are you going to take responsibility?

Is there any remorse here? Or are you just going to flip it off and go, you know, it's not me? You do see very quickly how a person's going to respond after a betrayal. Oh, it sounds fascinating. Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday on three, each episode. Of course, I loaded on to three now earlier in the day. Married at First Sight New Zealand. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast podcast If you're dragging yourself out of bed and off

to work or school or whatever this morning just think this weekend coming up, long weekend King's birthday you get next Monday off Yeah this time next week we'll be in bed or you know not at work at least. Well that's seven days away mate Right now you're in the depths of Monday morning. Just trying to be positive

though, you know Get through this week We always like to cut down As positivity with negativity don't we Which is exactly what I did as a mum yesterday What did you do? I was trying to be real cool I'm usually very tidy And instead of letting the kids do something

That I know would make a mess I'm like no mummy I'll just do it But yesterday I thought They can help me make dinner. Because I saw that one in three. Yeah. I saw this thing on Instagram, and it's like, stop trying to entertain them and just making them a part of your day. Get them to help you.

Mate, shove an iPad in their hands. Get them to watch a device. You cook the dinner. It was very simple. It was sausages. It was cauliflower cheese and, like, jacket potatoes. Oh, yeah. So I was like, okay, we'll make the cheese sauce.

So I let them pour the milk. You can see where that went. My one-year-old poured it on the bench. So I was like, okay, okay. It's all right. I can wipe it up. It's fine. Teach them.

It's a learning lesson. Get them involved. Yeah. Grated the cheese. They not only ate most of the cheese, they sprinkled it on each other. So it's all over the floor. I was like, it's all right. I can clean up the cheese.

It's fine. And then I put breadcrumbs on top. Again, my daughter decided to put it on her brother's head. So at this point, we've got milk, we've got cheese, we've got breadcrumbs all over the floor. And I was just like trying so hard to play it cool. I was like, okay, chill, chill, chill, chill. You're the cool mum.

Please tell me you cracked. We got to the jacket potatoes. I was like, this is easy. We're going to wrap it in foil, put a bit of oil, a bit of rosemary on the top. Not a big deal. So we did the oil amazingly fine, cracked some salt and pepper,

and I had a little container of rosemary. And I was like, just take a little pinch, just take a little pinch and pinch it on top of the potatoes. Easy. And so he decided to grab the whole container, pour the whole thing on the jacket potato. The potato goes on the floor. It's just all over the place.

I was like, done. Get out. I'm so great. I'm going to do it. It would be a great cooking show. I completely lost it. Great cooking. You have professional chefs with like three kids navigating in the kitchen,

like Gordon Ramsay or someone. I was like, there's too much rosemary. He's just looking at me wide-eyed, and my husband's just like, mate, you completely asked for that. Yeah. I could have told you that was a shocking idea as soon as you said I had a one three-year-old helping me make dinner. I was trying to play it real cool, just have them, you know,

like have this wholesome moment where we all made dinner together. Did you film it for Instagram? No. It would have been quite a good video actually. Just left off the bit at the end when I screamed at them. Awesome Sunday afternoon. Great, and there we go, the result, so good. I had the same, well similar thing the other day, remember I was telling you guys about where my daughter was

making something from TikTok, something with like sugar, cooking sugar syrup. Oh, the candied grapes. Yeah, candied grapes, and I like sugar, cooking sugar syrup. Oh, the candied grapes. Yeah, candied grapes. And I was like, oh, it's going to make a mess. I've tidied up my wife's. I was like, just chill.

Just let them be kids. You can clean it up. I was like, all right. And then now the insincerator's not working because she tried to pour the bloody sugary. Seized up the insincerator. I was like, oh, chill, chill, eh? How much is that chill going to cost us?

Have you fixed the gurgling yet? No, well, the gurgling is getting fixed The hits, the Jono and Ben podcast Now Megan We just want to talk to you about something What you've stored in your bra Because we had this phone call That came through to the show last week

Have a listen I cut up two old cough lollies Into a big glad bag Then I used the end of an axe to crush them. Then I put them into individual tiny little bags. And then I'll roll them up and put them in my bra for a couple of hours. I love this. I love everything about this.

Every step is magnificent. And then what happens after that? I take them out and eat them. And I'll do about four bags a night. To cut them, it takes about an hour a bag. What's the reason behind this? Trying to bite them almost breaks your teeth. I think you're supposed to suck them.

I like the feeling you get when you eat them and it goes through your nose. So there we go. Storing cough lozenges in her bra is part of a 10 step process to digesting

a cough lozenge and you said after that you're not immune to it either. I keep all kinds of things in my bra because often

I don't have pants on or like pockets. That's why we get so excited if there's a dress that has pockets because often we don't have pockets so those are pockets. That's why we get so excited if there's a dress that has pockets because often we don't have pockets. So those are like permanent pockets in front of your body.

So what sort of things would you have put in there from time to time? Every single day I put my keys in there. Did you? Yeah. So like when I go and pick up the kids because I'm not carrying a bag or whatever, I put my keys in my bra. We won't ask for evidence. We'll just take your word for it.

Because I always give them a wee grope And make sure they're not Like sticking out You know My keys aren't pointing out Try and angle them So they look semi You know Camouflage Could you ripen

A bloomin' avocado On there Like an incubator You'd put one around So bad yeah Hatch some chicks Try Yeah

I suppose It makes sense Yeah Like if The equivalent would be Us putting like our passport In our underpants or something. Yeah.

I put cards, Airpods cards, credit cards, lip balm, all that kind of stuff. That's a thing. Okay. In my bra. Okay. Now, so it's a Monday morning. Every caller that gets on the air gets $100 thanks to the new Garfield movie. So we know everyone's going to call up.

So what I want right now is people to text 4487, what have you stored in your bra? And we'll call back our favorite call. Okay, great one. It's almost worth us buying some, isn't it? Two extra pockets. A bra, yeah. We could actually do that. Treat yourself.

I guess so. Why not? It's 2024. We can do whatever we want. All right. 4487, what have you stored in your bra? What do you keep in your bra? Best text on 4487.

We'll win $100 when we call them back. Thanks to the Garfield movie. Someone says a burger. There's some great ones coming through already. A burger. Someone's put a burger in there. I put my vape in there every day. I suppose, again, it makes sense.

The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. To know on 4487 on the text, what do you store or have you stored in your bra? So many texts coming through. Handy wee pockets. Yeah. When you store or have you stored in your bra so many texts coming through handy wee pockets yeah when you don't have pockets

yeah ultimate utility belt now we know it's why it's called bras and things the shop because you've got all sorts of things

in there so we've got people store cash credit cards keys contraception there's so many texts coming through

lollies when you go to the movies lady texts in she plays golf she puts cheese in there cheese interesting snack

halfway through a golf game is it cheese when I get too hot and melty when I worked at a supermarket this text says

a lady stole a frozen chicken and put it in a bra she was followed and ended up collapsing her heart stopped

with a cold you'd need two frozen chickens wouldn't't you, to even it out there? What size? Don't they call it chicken fillets? Isn't that a thing you can pan your bra at? I know, but like a whole chicken, where's that going? I don't think they're literal chicken fillets, though, right? Tegel number eight.

Big rig. Now, also another text here. Chicken nuggets. I've got chicken nuggets in whenever I go to the movie theatre, just because I get hungry. Yeah, right. Lots of people sneaking alcohol into festivals and nightclubs as well inside their bra. Spare dummy for the child.

Oh, I've done that, yeah. Michaela's plays squash and she said it's a wonderful location to warm up the squash balls before she hits the court. So they're nice and warm and bouncy. Very versatile part of the body, isn't it? It is, yeah. Like you say, a lot of festivals. A bit more stringent security checks at festivals. There's a text that's come through that's saying that she puts her keys inside,

like you do, Megan, but then one day lost her keys at the supermarket, was looking for keys. Someone else from the supermarket came and helped out. I rang her husband. He came down with the keys, but eventually they were in a bra. All right, we're going to get Sue on. Welcome. How are you, Sue?

I'm really good. Really nice to have you on this morning. Congratulations for getting on air. $100 thanks to the new Garfield movie, Hundy Mundy. Thank you very much. It's all yours. And what are you storing in your bra there, Sue? I had a baby possumum he was about the size of

my thumb and when he when we found him and uh he was on hourly feeds so he was a little cold baby so it was the best place to warm him up so he would just look what how many days was this baby possum living in your bra for there a A good couple of weeks at the beginning. Really? Not permanently, but between getting his hotties sorted and getting his bed all nice and warm and hot again, he'd just go down the bra. In a little sock, his little couch in a sock,

and it was the best place for him to be, nice and warm. So tiny too. The size of your thumb. So you got him through those first couple of weeks by storing him in your bra? Exactly. He's now three. Old big boy. He's been desexed and

he comes out and runs around the house and has a big cage at home and he's an awesome pet. You have a possum for a pet. Yeah. Even the dogs love him because they help bring him up. So, yeah. He doesn't go on the bra anymore, though?

Oh, no. Scratchy. A little scratchy, I imagine, now, wouldn't it be? He would have been like, geez, where have I ended up here? You know, he's pretty good. As long as you're standing still, he doesn't use his claws. But if you're a moving target and he tries to run up your leg, yeah, watch out. What, so you just have to stand like statues in your household

so the possum doesn't attack you? Yeah. Sounds like a lovely pet. Oh, yeah. Okay, well, thanks to another lovely pet, Garfield. Yes, John, I said before, you get $100. The Garfield movie in cinemas May 30. You've got a family pass as well.

You can maybe take the possum if you sneak him in your bra. Appreciate your call. Thank you very much. All the best. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. The Garfield movie. It looks like great fun for the whole family.

It's in cinemas May 30, just a couple of days away. Chris Pratt is the voice of Garfield. We've got $100 to make Mondays a little better. Every caller that gets on the air, we give $100. Yeah, all thanks to Garfield, an animated cat who doesn't like Mondays. So thank you very much, Garfield, from the bottom of our hearts.

Now, Ben, you want to do a Topic 0800, the best thing you bought or purchased for under $100. Yeah, in your life. Yeah, what is something, because we're giving you $100, what's something you bought for $100 or less? That was a damn good purchase. I didn't buy it, but I saw it on the weekend. I was like, that looks like a lot of fun.

A water blaster for your teeth was $99. Have you seen these? No. No? Have you seen one? Like a little tiny little one. Tiny little mini water blaster. You water blast off your teeth.

Pretty sure you've seen them. Have you got one? No, but I really do want one. Yeah. Is that like what the dentists use? You know, when they blast it with the little... Must be. Must be a similar sort of thing.

Then you can blast away the moss, mould and gunge on your driveway. Very long process, though. That's cool. But, yeah, 99 bucks. I thought, yeah, I could buy it. But then the novelty, I imagine, would wear off. Yeah. Pretty quick.

I mean... That massage gun that you bought, how often are you using that? Let's not talk about that. I've got so many massage appliances. It's wild. What about you, mate? I've got the neck thing, yeah. Are you getting anything

under a hundred bucks a year? No, but we do have a massage gun which we never reuse. How often have you gunned yourself? It's not the same doing it to yourself, eh? No, yeah. You're like, because then you get a crick in your neck

trying to put it over your shoulder. You're like, well, now I've got to do the other side. It's just not the same. You need someone else to do it for you. I've got to tell you, $4.50 from Kmart. I bought a whiteboard, a little mini whiteboard you can write a to-do list on at home. And jeez, I love writing on that.

Displaying to-do lists all over the household. Ticking off things. Family, here we go. The things you've got to do. Is it your personal to-do list, or is it a group to-do list? Well, it's usually mine, but sometimes I'll put other people's ones in just as a passive aggressive way.

And this stuff needs to be done. It's on the to-do list. See that? Put it in the kitchen, put it up there. It moves around the house, but $4.50, best $4.50 I ever spent. Does anyone acknowledge the to-do list? No, not really. I feel like it's going to end up in the bin. Now, Charlie's phoned through.

Good morning, Charlie. How are you? Hey, good things, team. How are you? Yeah, we're doing really well. Best thing you've purchased for under $100? Well, I went to a recycle boutique. I was after one of the Huffaveth, the real flash ones.

And they were $300 retail. And I just can't fathom that. So I went to a recycle boutique and found one for $90. Nailed it. I was like oh this is a steal sweet and then I got it and then about two or three weeks later I was like oh I didn't realize it had this internal pocket I opened it up and there was a crisp $50 note in there. Oh that's awesome. So it cost you 49 bucks. No, 40 bucks. How good. Yeah. So good. Well, I tell you what, now it's going to cost you negative because we're going to give you $100 thanks to Garfield

for getting on here, Charlie. Oh, yes, boy. Thank you, Chris Pratt. How good. So good. Oh, mate, what a great story. You have yourself a great Monday. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

Something that's been winding me up lately. As my kids get older, you know, it was cute at the start, you know, you get words wrong and things like that, but now they obviously don't get many words wrong. They tell me what I get wrong. Apparently, or gat is gout or something. So I'm like, it's more like gout, not gat. I was like, oh, anyway.

Have you been saying gat? We've all been saying gat. I know, but apparently I've been saying that slightly wrong as well. That's the word I learned. That means bum in Gen Z alpha language. So what does gout now mean? Well, gout is something I think we're all getting because we're getting old. But it's something they always do now.

And I noticed a little time they start every story with so basically. So basically. I'm like, guys, you've got to stop saying so basically. So basically. Do they feel like they have to put things in basic terms for you? Maybe it's more to me. Maybe it's not else but it's just what if it's a really long winded story oh they still start with so basically wait i thought we were getting the basic version yeah well i think it's just for me just to dumb it down you're a bit of an english nazi aren't you

uh aren't you megan sure yeah you do the spelling of words pronunciation that would drive me that's like a crutch you know that's like people who go I literally oh yeah that was the Kardashians that pretty much well not started that

but they really embraced that didn't they the literally they've literally changed the word changed the meaning of the word literally because you never literally do the things that you say like I literally died

I literally died no you're still here sometimes you can kidnap a word and just kind of. I literally died. No, you're still here. Sometimes you can kidnap a word and just kind of repurpose it, can't you? If you stick with it long enough.

Well, there's phrases. We actually learned about that on the, go check it out on our podcast, The Wild Wild Web from a couple of days ago. We looked at phrases

that we've been getting wrong. The ones that we didn't even know, right? Yeah, another think coming. You've got another think coming. Because you're always like, you've got another thing coming. Yeah, well that's wrong. Card

sharp, not card shark was another one. You can find out all the hidden meanings to why this is. I quite liked the wet, wet, wet whistle, yeah. Wet, wet, wet whistle. It was W-H-E-T. It's just a more satisfying way to say the word wet, really. Wet whistle.

So basically, wet me in the face with that. it with basic terms so yeah actually go check out our wild wild where but it's another podcast you can get on i heart radio is it beckon beckon cool beck and cool oh i'm not entirely yeah or if you've got david and victoria's number a beckham beckham cool you got their contact details doggy dog world It's dog Eat dog Eat dog world Yeah it's funny

Some of these things We've just been saying For so long Now I like It's fine Just carry on The hits The Jono and Ben podcast

Everyone had a great weekend The Warriors had a win As we mentioned before A great win With 11 players out This week Feels like it'll be 12 players out

Losing a player every week, but a great win from a young side. I'm surprised the coach is still there. He hasn't been injured yet. That's true. Now, Megan, you just in passing mentioned something you used to do for your dog. Yeah. We didn't even know you had a dog until last week. Or Ben, you, because he once stood on your dog's... The one time

I brought him to work, he pooed under Ben's desk and you stood in it. And walked it everywhere. That's probably the angriest I've ever seen you what did you do there I remember you coming in going oh I've just stepped in

fecal matter and what did you do from that point did you go and tell Megan what had happened I can't remember maybe I saw you when you were out there

or something you guys did come and tell me and then I went and cleaned it up but I think you filmed a jovial video and pretended that you were fine with it I wasn't fine with it. I'm fine with that.

That whole smell of like, hmm, hmm. I know. Really distinct odor, and what always surprises me about it is very consistent. Like no matter what dog it's come from, you can go to Germany, it'd be the same smell. Exactly. Now, something you used to do for this dog.

Yeah, so Leo's his name, and he used to be like our child. Before we had kids, I was like, I can't imagine loving anything as much as I love this dog. And it would like sleep in our bed, and it was just like social media photos and everything. Then we had kids. So like before we had real life children, real human children, we would make him like puppy cakes. I made him dog ice cream. Oh, good. I like when it was his birthday,

he got a party hat and a little ribbon saying birthday boy. He would get presents. He got dressed up like the whole shebang. I'm just so stopped now. So it was his birthday last week and it got to like 7.30 at night. And we're like, happy birthday mate! And he gets a treat

from his little treat bucket. Do you reckon he knows he slipped back a few places on the left? But you still love your dog though, right? I do. Just not as much as you used to. There are like two toddlers that take up all my time. Do you know I patted him the other night and I was like, I don't know the last time I patted

my dog. Poor guy. time do you know i patted him the other night and i was like i don't know the last time i patted my dog poor guy have you ever held a party for your dog yeah for his birthday no we had all our friends come over and that's when he got the party hat and the little i bought friends came over yeah and we sung to him and he got like a little ribbon saying 100% guarantee your friends driving to that would have been going, what are we doing here? No, they were all very much into it. Were they? There's no way I'm going to your dog's birthday party. I mean, it sounds like he's not going to have another for celebration.

No, I don't think so. If we put one on, Ben would refuse to go. There was a company where I bought pup cakes, which were like dog-friendly little cupcakes. Great name, great name, but it seems unnecessary. But surely, okay, is Megan the only one? Have you ever celebrated or do you celebrate your dog's birthday? All your cats?

Oh, yeah, true. We'll take any pet. Have you thrown parties for pets? It feels like the same category as when you throw a one-year-old a birthday party. Yeah. You're like, who's this for? Yeah, well, no one's going to remember it. The dog doesn't know.

Especially when there's alcohol. Like, the dog's not having any. That's for you. Okay. Oh, under the's going to remember it. The dog doesn't know. Especially when there's alcohol. Like, the dog's not having any. That's for you. Okay, 0800-THE-HITS-4487. We've got $100 for every caller that gets on the air, thanks to the cat who probably, Garfield probably gets birthday celebrated, doesn't he? Surely.

Birthday lasagna? Yeah, exactly. So, 0800-THE-HITS-4487. Thanks to the Garfield movie. You could be winning $100. If you can tell us, like Megan, you're just as embarrassing as Megan, that you celebrated your animal's birthday party love to hear from you

the hits the jonah and ben podcast hundy monday thanks to the garfield movie in cinemas in just a couple of days time on may 30th you could be winning a hundred dollars for every caller that gets on the air okay i feel sorry for beau and milo because at least my dog leo used to get birthday parties my daughters to be fair they remember it they're like oh Bo's got a birthday coming up what are we doing

I'm kind of like well nothing like I love don't you want to love the dog I just feel like there's a lot of

I mean my whiteboard is full of stuff and to do lists well you did speak earlier today you had bought yourself a little whiteboard from Kmart

$4.50 and you write to do lists for the household on there I walk them and, you know, love them and stuff like that. But that's an everyday thing.

I mean, the dog doesn't know, you know. He's just happy with a pet and a walk. What I love about dogs is they're up for anything, at any time. They've got nothing on their schedule. If you want to do it, they'll do it with you. Including birthday parties, apparently. Yeah. So, it turns out you're do it with you. Including birthday parties, apparently. Yeah. So it turns out

you're not the only one to throw birthday parties for your dog there. Good. How many people did you invite? Oh, there was six of us. It was only a little party. Were presents required? Did people come with gifts? No, we bought them a present, but people didn't have to bring presents. How long did they have to stay for? Well, they stayed like all night.

Oh my goodness. Well, they were still friends with us. We were still there. It was just like turned into like a normal party. Yeah, right. It just feels like an unusual core reason to be going to your house. Did they bring dogs? No. It wasn't like, oh, bring the dog around.

No, no, no. So it was more about you, really. Okay. Let's get Taylor on. Welcome. How are you? First up, Taylor, you've got $100. It's Hundy Mundy. Thanks to Garfield. Well done. That's get Taylor on. Welcome. How are you? First up, Taylor, you've got $100. It's Hundy Mundy. Thanks to Garfield. Well done. That's fantastic.

Thank you so much. Yeah. You can hang up now if you want. Is that all you wanted to do? I need to hear about animal birthday parties. What are you celebrating? Are you still doing it? Yeah, absolutely.

So we've got a six-year-old cavalier called Trav. Trav the Cav. That's so cute. And what we do is he wakes up on his birthday and we go, where do you want to go? Is it your birthday? You can do anything you want to do. Do you want to go to the beach? Because we know he does, right? That's his favorite place.

So we know he wants to go there. We take him to the beach. And then while one of us is out with him at the beach, the other one wraps a gift, like a new toy. And we put treats in the wrapping paper so that when he comes home, it's sitting in the lounge for him. And he wants to open it because it's got a treat in it, and he actually opens it.

Amazing. Does Trav, do you feel like Trav is acting any differently on his birthday? Well, I think six years old is meant to be in human years like 40, and I definitely noticed that this year. He seemed less enthused. Yeah. Well, I can vouch. Once you hit 40, you do get less enthused about your birthdays.

Oh, that's really cool. He's still exciting. He still plays along. Maybe he just plays along for us, you know, because we want to do it because we're excited owners and that kind of thing. We want to throw it for him, so maybe he just puts it on for us. That's actually really sweet. That's really cute we can't we can't rip you to shreds taylor but we can rip megan to shreds yeah yeah have a lovely day mate appreciate you calling

we'll get marlene on welcome to the show marlene did you throw birthdays for your pets um hi we don't really do birthdays but we celebrate Christmas with our pets. Oh the dog's favourite time of year. So he's got his own stocking, we fill it with little treats and with gifts and he knows about it because he will go and nudge his sock once in a while and then we will say no it's not Christmas. Oh my god that's so cute. My dog's got a Christmas stocking too. and then we all say, no, it's not Christmas. Oh, my God, it's so cute. Gotta wait. My dog's got a Christmas stocking too. No way.

Yeah, part of the family. It doesn't surprise me. Oh, my goodness. I like that. Gotta wait till Christmas. Hey, Marlene, 100 bucks. We're going to get you out a Red Rutherford for Hundy Monday, thanks to Garfield. New movie starring Chris Pratt.

The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. Last night the emergency mobile alert was everyone would have got that on their phones right?

Yeah Popped up civil defence emergency nothing was actually there was nothing going on it was just a test but it was interesting we're at the Warriors

to see everyone grab their phone and turn it off the whole crowd obviously About eight times they warned you they're like

there's going to be this thing don't panic everyone panicked everyone's like what's that? I feel like we've had more tests Obviously, yeah. About eight times they warned you. They're like, there's going to be this thing. Don't panic. Everyone panicked. Everyone's like, what's that? Yeah. I feel like we've had more tests than we have actual emergencies on that thing.

Also, if your phone's on silent and you don't hear anything, and then I don't check my phone, I didn't see it until like hours later. I was like, well, lucky nothing's happened. You'd think it would override the silence. Yeah. Like your alarm will often do that. You'd think it'd be the same thing, but obviously it doesn't. Time to handle the scandal. Okay, Megan and Ben, 60 seconds on the silence. Yeah. You know, like your alarm will often do that. You know, you think it'll be the same thing but obviously it doesn't. Time for Handle the Scandal.

Okay, Megan and Ben, 60 seconds on the clock. You've got to... Are we going to work together this week? Yeah. Yeah, okay.

Hashtag collab. Okay. Because we're not very good at these. We're not great. No. To be honest, I'm starting to run

out of scandals. Okay. Okay. Got some very obscure scandals here. You're like, who didn't put new paper in the photocopier at work?

You're like, oh, I don't know. Nice. HR. Yeah. I guess it was a scandal. Okay, you can play along too in your car. Listening. And the timer starts now.

Okay, it was 2004. Let's just say we had one night in Paris, but no one saw the Eiffel Tower. Was it the Paris Hilton sex tape? Congratulations. 2013, at Holocaust victim Anne Frank's house, one saw the Eiffel Tower. Was it the Paris Hilton sex tape? Congratulations. 2013 at Holocaust victim Anne Frank's house. He wrote in the visitor's book Justin Bieber. Well done.

He did something, didn't he? I think she'd be a Belieber. She's probably more of a Swifty Anne Frank I would imagine. She went away to film a movie and when she returned her fiancé was married to Angelina Jolie. Jennifer Aniston.

No. Oh, what? It was Laura Dern was engaged to Billy Bob Thornton. She went off to make a movie and when she got back he was married to Angelina Jolie. Oh, that's a scandal.

Did Angelina Jolie do that more than once? Oh dear. He said, what's up Bush? After bragging about hooking up with Miranda Kerr and they got into

a bit of a scuffle in a restaurant. Oh no. He's now with Katy Perry. Oh, Orlando Blue. And Justin Bieber. Really?

And Tussle. There we go, 60 seconds up on the clock. Did they have a, did they have a, They had Biffo in a restaurant.

Huh. Who knew about that? I feel like now, now we've played that game which I enjoy. I feel like we have the clock and then we guess and we stop and then we can talk about it

because I feel like I have more questions on the things and we eat up a lot of our time going, what did Angelina Jolie do? Fire some questions at me. Well, you know,

it was good but we don't get through enough of them. Were you just mimicking my voice just then? Yeah, I was, yeah, actually. Sound like that? It's just more like...

But it is interesting. You're like, what did Angelina do? So yeah, Laura Dern, apparently, she went off to work and Billy Bob Thornton, they were engaged, and got home and he was married to Angelina Jolie. She said, I've never heard from him again. Really? Oh my gosh.

Hell of a ghosting. Yeah. And then Ange goes and films with Brad Pitt and then next thing you know She's with him That's right And that was Jennifer Aniston He was in a relationship

At the time right So Yeah Oh there we go Let's handle the scandal For another week The hits The Jono and Ben podcast

That's a big weekend of sport Over the weekend Crusaders Bet the Blues And a bit of a nail biter As well So Crusaders Are they back

Never doubted them Are they back or not? A long way to go, but it still was a good win for them. And the Warriors, last week they had 10 players out. This week it was 11 top-line players out, and they still managed to beat the Dolphins, who are a top-four side. Yeah. So, it's pretty cool.

They nearly have an entire league team unavailable to play. I know. Two more injuries and they're there. It's going to make it really interesting when some of the players come back, you know, as well. Yeah, as, like, one of the veterans sitting off, would you not be watching these young guns being like, um, do they want me back?

It all seems like it's team people. You're right. But it's always good. Put pressure on selections. We went along last night, didn't we? It was great. Very fun night. And the Dolphins, were they like second or third on the table?

Yeah, right near the top. And we beat those dolphins hard. Russell Kurtz would be proud of us beating those dolphins. We had to do a little Q&A. There was a little lounge area and we got dragged along. And I'm like, I always think, how many people did they have to go through before they asked us? Like, how many people said no?

It's a mid-season slump. It's like, John O'Meara definitely not the top of the list. And then they brought Roger Tuabasa Shek out for a chat. Before us, I'm like, definitely put him after us. He's the headliner. We had talked about our, because I talked about The Rock

signing my bum and getting it tattooed. And then you're like, do you get your bum out in that situation? Yes, he did. He got his bum out. Do you get your bum out?

People are like, want to see it? And then you're like, look around, there's kids, there's people. Ben? But it's not like

I fully pull my pants down. You can just sort of see the top of it. Just a little bit of cheek. say that in the court of law but yeah i look around i'm like guys who's going to cancel me do you want me to do this do you want to see it then you sort of show everyone slightly and then you're like oh and they had a camera on it so it was big screened as well so yeah we should have taken a photo of that big screen as well but you know he didn't like he said he didn't go full butt. It was a little teaser. Yeah, I'm very classy. I just showed part of my cheek. Yeah. Would you get your butt out

in front of a corporate crowd? What happens if you had a Dwayne The Rock Johnson's name tattooed on your bum? I wouldn't have had it tattooed on my bum. Okay, whose name would you have tattooed

on your bum? Like, if there's any celebrity, I know you probably wouldn't because you're far smarter than me. Max Verstappen. No! She's always going on about Max Verstappen. She's always going on about Max Verstappen.

No. Whoever he is. Yeah, no. Charles Leclerc won the Formula One in Monaco over the weekend. I'm not a Max Verstappen fan. Okay.

Not Max. Maybe Charles Leclerc. Charles Leclerc, okay. And that's a very exotic name to have on your bottom as well. Yeah, exactly.