Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL SHOW: Megans got a humping problem...

Episode Date: May 21, 2024

ON THE SHOW TODAY Tom Hanks and his rap beef Inspirational Warriors speech! We turn our mundane text sexy Bens's daughter gets stuck in a mascot suit! Petty revenge...  Does a hi vis truly get you anywhere? An inexplicable riddle Melting cough lollies? Check us out! Facebook: The Hits Breakfast with Jono and Ben Instagram: TheHitsBreakfastSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Cheers to Dilma, making the world a better tea. I mentioned in the news this morning at 6 o'clock there, Megan, a pretty rough flight, to say the least, for a Singapore Airlines flight, travelling between London and Singapore overnight. Severe turbulence, sadly one person has passed away from a heart attack, and a lot of people are critically injured, by the sounds of it, or severely injured. Seven of them are in hospital.

Yeah, someone cracked their head. Jeez, terrible. And the ones that went flying into the overhead cabin lockers, these dents in the lockers with such force that, and it's a reminder, keep your seatbelt on. Yeah. Isn't it? How many times do you sit there with the seatbelt off?

You're like, ding, the light, the ding, the thing goes off. You're like, oh, cool, I can undo my seatbelt now, which is obviously not the right thing to do. It looks like there's some Kiwis on board, so hopefully they're okay. Singapore Airlines, one of the world's safest airlines as well, so it just goes to show it can happen to any airline, wherever it is. Certainly not their fault. I reckon climate change is doing a lot to do with turbulence. It's happening more and more these days because the atmospheric conditions changed.

All right, Greta Thunberg, mate. Oh, hey, I'm just saying. It's not going to make the plane crash, but it can still make it pretty rough and unpleasant. Yeah. So, yeah, pretty horrible thing to encounter mid-air. Well, because apparently the pilot just had to go, hoof, down straight towards the ground.

To get out of it. They went to Bangkok, I think, for a landing, where they were travelling towards London or something. Yeah, scary thing to encounter overnight. I can't quite compete with that. But it's something I have never done midweek before. I made a roast last night. Tuesday night?

Tuesday roast. I know. That's a lot of work. Yeah, to be honest, it was good. It was really good. But just too much admin on a Tuesday night. And even the clean-up after a roast. There's a lot of work. Yeah, to be honest, it was good. It was really good, but just too much admin on a Tuesday night. And even the clean-up after a roast. There's a lot of dishes on.

I kind of got frustrated over the weekend. I was like, you know, stuff in the freezer we never get to. I was like, well, I'll take this out. Someone will give us a roast at some stage. What flavor roast? It was beef. So I was like, I'll get it out and I'll cook it. And then I was like, last night I was like, I had to cook it.

And then I was dropping kids off and doing things you try to do a roast there's a lot of admin turned out great it was lovely yeah I mean no one ever doesn't like a roast but it's just

Tuesday night it feels like you're putting a lot of unnecessary pressure on yourself too much pressure why don't you just leave it to the Sunday in the crusty pan

clean up I got frustrated he gets impatient the freezer was stuff and it's like we're not using any of this stuff you know it just fills up

people put bread in there that we never use and all sorts of stuff. It's like, let's start using some of this. Is the pan clean or is it still soaking? No, I did that. I do like a, I do, it used to do that. It used to go, I'll just soak it overnight. But I'm like, no. I love a soak.

Yeah, geez, it winds jet up though. Because I'm like, I'm just soaking it, babe. Got to get all the debris off. Why do today what I could do tomorrow? Exactly. Give it a good old soak. Well, there you go. Ben Boyce, hitting the week with a Tuesday night roast.

Family were very appreciative, which is nice, but at the same time, I was like, I don't recommend it. That's for sure. Hey, next. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. You want to see them in the news over the last few weeks. Sean Diddy, Puff Diddy Combs, sorry.

He's up for a whole lot of stuff, potential charges, right? Yeah, I think the FBI did raid his house a few weeks ago, and then since then, a video has emerged of him for 2016, a very unwatchable video, in a hotel lobby where he's beating up his then-girlfriend Cassie uh who she settled with him out of court for millions of dollars um and he the whole time was alleging she was lying and his lawyers were saying she's after a quick payday it's assassination of character deny deny deny and then the video comes out and basically corroborating everything that cassie said and so then he goes and makes an apology which is being ripped to shreds by the internet obviously it's so difficult to reflect on

the darkest times in your life sometimes you got to do that i was up i mean I hit rock bottom. But I make no excuses. My behaviour on that video is inexcusable. Yeah, so he's up for a whole lot of, you know, multiple lawsuits, including sex trafficking, sexual abuse, some pretty grim stuff he's up for. Yeah, and then people going, well, what was that apology video? When the whole time you were saying this didn't happen and you accused her of lying and going for a payday

I'm sorry he got caught sorry that everyone's seeing how awful he is on camera. It's really unravelling for the diddle isn't it the diddler as they're calling him and I got lost in a hole yesterday because the thing that interests me is

everyone turns out like they are for a reason, right? There's a lot of times where you go, why is that person a dick? And you look back at what's happened to them and you go, okay, well, that's explainable. And he came from a really interesting background. His dad was like a hardcore gangster in New York. And his best friend, do you know the movie American Gangster with Denzel Washington? Oh, yeah.

That character in real life was his dad's best friend and business partner. Oh, really? So his dad was killed violently in some sort of gang-related drug deal that went wrong. His mum told him that he had died in a car accident. And he'd believed that until he was early 20s. Really? Apparently. Also, Puff Daddy, Diddy,

Tupac Shakur, who was murdered. Apparently it all traces back to him. Well, there was a whole lot of beef going on there between the two, the rap sides, right? There's a lot of interesting information of what Diddy might have been involved in if you go down that rabbit hole. Yeah, apparently he paid a million dollars to the Crips

to shoot Tupac. Allegedly. This is according to an ex-LAPD police officer who investigated the whole thing. And then there's rumours that Kim Porter, his ex-wife, who's no longer here, he might be responsible for that. There's rumours around too.

Yeah. You just go, it's crazy how, if this has happened, obviously hasn't been proven in a court of law yet, how do you get away with it for so long? Well, apparently he has videos of people in his house, politicians, princes, some very famous people doing nefarious things in his house.

So that's kind of how maybe he got away with a lot of that stuff. Friends in high places. Yeah. Jeffrey Epstein kind of style. Yeah. away with a lot of that stuff. Friends in high places. Yeah. Jeffrey Epstein kind of style. Yeah. And he once turned up to a party

and threw his car keys at Selena Gomez. She said, park that for me. He thought she was the car valet. She didn't quite know what to do.

I think she politely parked the car, as you would. Willie Jackson did that to us. He did actually, yeah. Outside TV3. He was frustrated they couldn't get in. I think we did park the car for him too. He's like, park that for me. car as you would that happened willie jackson did that to us actually yeah yeah outside tv3 he's frustrated they couldn't get another we did park the car he's like park that for me yeah we did

it's okay willie jackson yeah yeah then he came out and apologized he's like sorry i was in a bad mood in a rush i was like we parked a car nicely anyway we're blocking we reversed it in two didn't we oh lovely easy exit there the hits the jonathan It's circulating. Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez might be heading for divorce. He's been seen without his wedding ring on a bit. Claims that he was saying it was a bit of a fever dream when it comes to their relationship. Now he's seen Claire, which is sad either way, right? If that's the case.

Is that their third crack at it? I'm not sure. They've been married before, right? Mark Anthony? Yeah. And I can't... Oh, as far as her marriage is concerned. Oh, no, Ben Affleck.

Have they been on and off three different times? No, they've never been. They haven't been married before. First time married, yeah. They got engaged and it canned before the marriage. Well, you know, you've got to look at the positives in life, and if it is over, at least they know now, hey, well, it's not for us.

Yeah. We gave it a crash. Yeah, a couple of times. Well, she's bloody on, How many marriages Jennifer Lopez has? Who's counting? I don't like marriage shaming people. Divorce shame her? Yeah.

Sometimes people stay with people and they're miserable. So good on her if she wants to move on. Exactly. That's right. Four marriages. Thank you, Producer Taylor, doing the research there. So shaming it right, Megan? Exactly.

You say that now as you take the piss out of me every other day. No, but I... He's saying that sarcastically Exactly. You say that now as you take the piss out of me every other day. No, but I really... He's saying that sarcastically. If you're happier now than you were. So that's the best. Imagine if you stayed just because people go, oh, you're getting married. You're not married, yeah. So many people you know are miserable together.

Yeah, right. It's like, just break up. Yeah, you're right. But don't ever apologise for how much comedic fodder it gives us on the show. I'm not going to give me grief about it. You guys get me wrong. Backbone of this radio show. I did it for the content.

Yeah, good on you. If you get a third one, jeez, we've got another 10 years of radio. Yesterday I got asked to move my car. And that was fine. But it was just by a random person in high-vis clothing. And as I moved the car, I thought, I didn't ask who this person was, what their role was. I just went, they're in high-vis clothing, and goddammit, I'm going to respect that high-visibility clothing that holds that authority and power, and you just do what they say.

No questions asked. You're right. No credentials hanging around in a lanyard or anything? Nothing. Just in the high-vis. Going to have to get you to move, mate. I'm like, okay. All right, high-vis guy. I'll listen to you. We listen to high-vis. The orange guy, the election guy the high-vis gonna have to get you to move mate, I'm like okay alright high-vis guy, I'll listen to you

we listen to high-vis, the orange guy, the election guy, high-vis, listen to him we all vote. It's true actually, you know, especially with the clipboard and high-vis and you can pretty much go anywhere right? Oh absolutely Maybe like at Christmas in a mall parking lot you could just have high-vis in your car, pull it out and be like

I'm gonna have to ask you to move, then suddenly you've got a parking spot. Thank you for moving. Thank you. I'm going to take it. You just reverse your car. Cheers, mate. Put the high-vis in the boot and off you go. I reckon there could be a birth of a royal baby and some legend turns up in high-vis.

No one asks any questions. Oh, he must just be here to fix the air con. Get away with it. Get into concerts, any workplace. Just buy some high-vis clothing. Away you go. Ironically, if there's more than like 20 of them together, they become far less

visible on the building side across the road. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. As we mentioned earlier on the show, a really rough flight for Singapore Airlines, to say the least, between London and Singapore overnight. 71 others were injured, 71 others were injured.

71 people were injured, sorry, on the plane. And one person sadly had a heart attack. Severe turbulence. Seven people still in hospital in serious condition. Just looked rough. Yeah, they were showing pictures of the cabin afterwards because it made an emergency landing and they kind of made a makeshift hospital on the tarmac of the airport that they landed at in Bangkok.

Yeah. And the plane was all dented so the bodies that flew into uh the overhead luggage compartment dented force they hit them with craziness and scary things before were they like just probably leave your seat belt on yeah you're like shut up you can't tell me what to do things come off i'm not comfy yeah yeah yeah probably because all the people that flew up didn't have their seatbelt on Everyone else Who had their seatbelt on Was fine

I'm sure they appreciate That told you so now Yeah It's just a horrible thing For those people to enjoy Don't send this to them It's not very helpful now But in a fortnight

Maybe send them this audio He's got a point Now I've talked about this a lot I'm a big fan of costumes Got a garage full of costumes Doesn't have an audio though That was surprised us Oh yeah.

I'll be waiting for my family to buy me one to be fair. There'd be like a Warriors hoodie or something. There probably would be actually. Oh my god, now we don't want to get you for your birthday. But I'm not really a laze around the house sort of person. That's the thing I always say to my family they have said you want an hoodie. I'm like I don't really go, it's just laze around and you know.

Can I wear my hoodie doing activities out and about? Probably not. So anyway, over the weekend of my many activities, I had to film a quick little thing for social media. And I borrowed from a company a mascot, an animal mascot suit. Love an animal mascot. You didn't have one in the garage? But that was one that needed to be in this little thing I was filming.

Not movie quality. Yeah, but I had to be in it. So I had to get someone into the costume so i said to my daughter sienna who was quite busy at the time i was like can you get into this mascot costume for me it's going to go in the park she's like she just want to laze around just for once she's like how long is it going to take i'm like oh 10 minutes 10 minutes 10 minutes we'll be in and out in no time so it's quite a hot day over the weekend and she puts on this mascot costume we go down the park in animal costume.

And what you forget is when you're in a novelty size animal costume, kids park. Oh, crowd magnet. And she's become this corporate ambassador. She's getting photos. She's waving. She's saying kids are hugging you.

I'm like, I didn't even start. Like we'd been there 20 minutes. I didn't even started filming. And so She's saying, kids are hugging you. I'm like, I ain't even started. We'd been there 20 minutes. I ain't even started filming. And so she's like, I've got things to do. And they're not breathable. They're heat magnets. It's like sitting inside a sauna in one of those things.

And then we go across. We just go, oh, we'll go a bit further down where it's a bit quieter. Because it's like the Pied Piper. All the kids follow. They go down. I'm like, oh oh this is not good you can't really be like hey bugger off

you needed Mr Whippy to come in and smoke screen with a bloody jingle or something so to her credit she battled on through but when she took the head off about you know

45 minutes later 15 photos I was trying to tell her I was like I've done my time in a mascot suit for years and years you know

she's like you said 10 minutes 10 minutes you never question who's inside a mascot suit for years and years She's like, you said 10 minutes 10 minutes You never question who's inside a mascot You know, mascot costume I always do. You're straight in there for a hug No, you don't know who I'm terrified of them because I'm like, who's in there

Could be anyone can dress up in there and hug children all day long. We did one a week, a skit years ago with Flinny from More FM. You know Flinny? Love Flinny. He was in a mascot suit going around

hugging everyone and then we were like well let's take the suit off and had him in his Y-fronts and singlet. No hugs. Not a single hug.

Great social experiment. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. Heavy rain, strong wind gusts and thunderstorms set to bash a lot

of the North Island again today. Severe weather over the last couple of days. Christchurch, surface flooding yesterday as well bash a lot of the North Island again today. Severe weather over the last couple of days. Christchurch, surface flooding yesterday as well. So a lot of rain around at the moment. But you're saying, Greymouth, West Coast looking good. Fine today and tomorrow.

Great. Place to be. The Honolulu of Aotearoa, Greymouth. Yeah. Now, Megan, how did you traumatise your daughter? I feel like there's something different every day where I'm like, oh, I feel like my kid's going to go to therapy for that later. Yeah, don't worry.

We're recording them all. We're going to release them in a special Christmas album. Megan's parenting my nightmares. Well, to be fair, this one wasn't my fault. It wasn't something that I directly did. But my daughter is one. And we have a little dog um at the moment i think the dog and her are pretty similar in size your dog doesn't do much lip service on the show it's

more and more the kids uh suck it up the airtime isn't it yeah what's your dogs don't even know your dog's name leo hey little leo what does he look like he's uh bijon griffin right okay never mentioned him never mentioned him to be fair before we had children i was like i don't Hey? Little Leo. What does he look like? He's Bijon Griffin. Right, okay. Never mention him. Never mention him. I'm with John. To be fair, before we had children, I was like, I don't know how I'm going to love something more than I love this dog.

And now I'm like, get outside, Leo. Poor Leo. I know. He's fifth place in the family now. Yeah, yeah. I used to be the favourite. He did. But yesterday, and maybe it's because he's a bit neglected,

but he likes my daughter more than he likes my son I think he was a bit rambunctious and like chaotic energy but he's always been a bit more of a fan of our daughter so we were having dinner yesterday she was done and she was crawling around playing with Leo and that's when she's kind of just starting to say some words I look over and she's like, Leo, no. And I was like, what is happening? What's happening over there? And she was on all fours. Oh, yep.

Prime humping. My dog was humping my daughter. She's like, Leo, no. I was like, we need to talk about consent, mate. She is saying no. Yeah, nice. So she wasn't too bothered about it. Dogs don't know rules and boundaries, though, do they?

But it's not, he's like eight. He's been sorted out, but he still does this, and he's done it to, like, other people's kids. Yeah, well, babies look, when babies are crawling, unfortunately, they look like prime fodder. I know, they should. Your dog did the same. Yeah, to my niece when she was younger as well.

She was laughing and I'm like, no, no, no. Get off. Get off the child. They can't read a room, dogs. No, not at all. And in our friend group, there's like 10 kids. And I'm always like, Leo, he's not aggressive at all. If anything, he's a lover, baby.

He's a lover, not a fighter. So they're not in danger. But like, just be a lover, baby. He's a lover, not a fighter. They're not in danger, but just be aware of him around your kids. So yeah, that's something new I have to look out for. Like I said, he's more of a fan of our daughter than us. Never done it to Basti.

But when they're doing it though, they're looking at you, they're like I know I shouldn't be doing this. I know you shouldn't be watching this, but we're here now. Of course, a lot of I know I shouldn't be doing this I know you shouldn't be watching this But we're here now The Hits The Jono and Ben Podcast Of course a lot of colds and flus And sniffles going around Megan it feels like for like nine years

You've had this cough and cold Oh I know right So I finally Ever since we've known you You've been coughing and sneezing I haven't been nervous Because I've got two little daycare kids Coughing in my mouth

You've either got gastro Or you're coughing and sneezing at the moment. I know. Well, I finally went to the doctor, got myself some, because I have asthma, so often it's quite hard for me to get rid of the cough. Got some steroids, prednisone for my asthmatics. We're like, yeah, this is what saves us. Yeah, right.

So I've got these little steroid tablets, and they make me feel, like, real strong. A million bucks. You said yesterday, you said at the end of the show, I feel stronger than I did at 6 o'clock this morning. You're like, I'm going straight to the gym. It was so sweaty, though. You're like, it was hot. I know.

I didn't even, like, think that that was from the steroids. I was like, oh, my God, is it hot in here? I'm sweating. Well, like, maybe it was your body just going, let's go do some stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's go lift some heavy things. Which I did. So you say at the gym you got a PB.

I did. Personal best. I deadlift 30 kgs. It was two 15 kg dumbbells. And I was like, rawr. That's two Ben Boyces right there. You just deadlifted.

So yes, I mean, steroids, they're banned obviously. You can't go to Paris at the Olympics. But we've always talked about it would be great to have just the drug Olympics. Yeah. So people could just take it and see what happens.

No, you go, see how far can the human body go? I don't think they're like... That body probably has a heart attack at the finish line. Yeah. I don't think they're like roids roids, but I think it's like frowned upon

if you're a professional sporting person. So yeah, yesterday I was like raging. Good on you. Very volatile. Very sweaty. But also can lift a lot of heavy stuff as well. A lot of people openly take steroids. Don't they? Is that illegal?

No. Steroids aren't illegal. I don't think so. Obviously you can't do it if you want to be a professional athlete, but I'm not sure. It's not good for your bits and pieces, though, is it? You can grow a vajayjay or you with a vajayjay can grow the other parts, one of the two. Why is it tailing you there?

Is that just a rumor? I don't think you can say that on the radio. No, she didn't know that. No. Okay. I don't think it's legit. I think it's just that people are like, oh, yeah. But anyway, I don't know.

I haven't had enough steroids to find out. Yeah. Let's try after 8 o'clock. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. We're talking revenge. We have been talking about this the last couple of days. And my neighbor, a while ago, he used to have a bit of beef with another neighbor on the street. They were perfect candidates for that show Neighbours at War.

They would have been a stellar episode. They kept kind of doing stuff to kind of get, you know, kind of revenge on each other. But he would antagonise her and she would bite every time. And he got to the stage where he would just get shoes and tie them together and throw them over the power lines in front of her house because here's that whole rum rumor that the shoes over the power lines is a house that sells stuff.

And then she'd call the council, get them to take the shoes down. Then he'd get another pair. He went through a lot of shoes just to get revenge. And it takes skill to get the shoes up there too. Yeah. Yeah. Valerie Adams, you know, you've seen how she can throw it. You know, get her.

She'd probably struggle to do that. The trick is going up underneath, not throwing over the top, apparently. Ah, is that how it works? So if you throw it hard up underneath, then the laces that are tied together will swing around. Ah, I see. Sounds like you've done it. New Zealand Olympic sport. Maybe that's what we need to do.

Yeah, great Olympic sport. Shoes over the power line. And it's also such a vague representation of where the house is. Yeah, true. Because you're like, in the vicinity, there's probably six to eight houses. Which house is it? This side of the road, this side of the road. But that's how he got his revenge.

And we talked about revenge the other day on the show. We've got some great calls coming through about how people got revenge. An ex-boyfriend's mother who was very fanatical about her garden. Me and a couple of friends went and put roundup balls through it. So me and an ex-boyfriend broke up and not long after I saw him in town with another girl so I kind of went and got his car because I still had his keys and moved it to the other end of town. That's actually really good. I found out he was sleeping with one of the

other girls in my car. One night a few of us were drunk and we were backstage in our dressing room and we had like hair pieces for our shows and I got her hair piece and I brushed it with a toilet brush so I thought I'll be the bigger person but at least we're not just there on stage.

At least she's eating s***. So some of the pettiest revenge out there on the market. Megan, you said you've never indulged in petty revenge, although you have thought about keying a car in the past. Yeah, I've always wanted to do these little petty things, but I'm too good. Why don't you just get like a whiteboard marker and run it along the side so you're like...

So they can rub it off. Yeah. You kind of hope that karma gets people in the end. You don't have to do that. That's kind of my theory. Yeah, that's what I always think. Karma sometimes it takes a while though. I think quite a lot of the satisfaction of winning a battle against someone and they

don't even know what's happened. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. The Blues could be adding Poden Barrett back for the rest of the Super Rugby season. He's back. They're applying for special dispensation to allow him to return which would be pretty awesome to have him back in the team. And the Blues are already doing great.

Rest in peace to the person who's currently playing in that role. Oh, yeah. They're like, I've been here all season, battling away. Well, it hasn't been allowed yet, but I'm still great to have him in the squad.

Wouldn't it be? Petty is revenge. Like Tom, it's petty this morning. So 0800 the hits. You can phone us up if you've extracted any revenge on anyone. Flatmate here. My flatmate would always eat my food, and he loved having all his drinks with ice.

So I would empty the ice tray every day. So then when you'd go for ice, it was never there. Very low level. I thought they were going to put something in the ice. Got to appreciate the level of pettiness. Our landlord was an absolute nightmare. So when we left, we sprinkled instant potato

over the garden. And then when it rained, the whole garden turned into mashed potato. I love it. Long play too. Do it on a sunny day. Leave it. Let's go to the phones this morning. 0800, that's the telephone number.

Julie, petty revenge. Yeah, so I had one. telephone number. Julie, petty revenge. Yeah, yeah. So I had one. It was quite relatively recently, actually. I had a guy who was blocking my driveway and refused to move his vehicle. We live early as well. And he was having a yarn twist and got quite agitated. And while he was doing that, I actually let out the tire from his back wheel.

So then he finally went on his merry way way I don't think he got too far. Oh so you snuck, was he having a conversation with someone else from the, with your son and you were like okay I'll sneak around the back? And he was oblivious so he would have driven down the road and it would have gone flat flat flat. Can I ask, why was he blocking your rural area? Surely there's a lot of places to park? You would think so and he wasn't the most pleasant man, so that was my petty revenge for the day.

What was his reason for parking at the end of your driveway? I probably shouldn't go into that on the radio. Oh, okay. All right, otherwise she'll let your tyres down if you ask any more questions. She might be listening. I'm scared of you. I'm not going to say anything.

Hey, Jackie, thanks so much for your call. Really do appreciate it. No worries. Jessica, it involves your ex, the petty revenge. Yes, yes, it does. What happened? So I had a one-year-old at the time. It wasn't his child.

It was someone else's. And we were living together happy as. He went to work, kissed me goodbye. And then he came home at lunchtime and was like, it's over. I don't want to be with you anymore. And I want you to pack your stuff and leave. So what happened in the space of four hours? I have no idea.

So I was like, sweet. So he went and hung out at my parents. Well, I packed. He hung out at your parents' house? Yeah, he went to my parents. This seems like an odd place to go to retreat when you've just kicked their daughter out. I know.

So I packed all my stuff, but I also took the washing line, put milk in the jug and boiled it, but then I took the cord so he couldn't boil it again. Okay, right. So you're sabotaging the household before you leave? Yeah, yeah. I took all the light bulbs, the fuse out of the switchboard. Amazing.

Wow, you took a lot of stuff. Yeah, I just did lots of little petty things that would really annoy you. There's no way of getting new light bulbs, but it's not until night time that you figure out they're gone. I love that. Yeah, like he was finishing work at like half past seven at night, and where we live, the shop shuts at seven. Oh, you've timed it beautifully.

Anything else you did there, Jessica? Oh, I fed all the meat out of the freezer to his work dogs. Oh my God. Oh yeah, he was OCD about peers. He always had to have peers of socks. So I took one of each. Oh, so you just left him with single socks.

Yeah, and it would drive him mental. See, that is the ultimate kick. That's probably the thing that hurt the most, to be honest. And to think that you were doing this all in a moment of you've got to get out of the house within two hours. And you've brainstormed this. Are you just ad-libbing as you go? No, I just kind of looked around the house and was like, what can I take? I took maybe two of the bed legs so that when he got on it, that it would rock.

Did you actually end up packing any of your stuff up or just pranking the house? I think I pretty much just pranked the house. I threw a whole heap of tacks out the window so when he pulled in the driveway, he got a flat tyre. Oh my god! Did you ever find out how any of it went down? Did you have any idea?

No, but I found out he was actually texting another woman and now they're married. Oh, okay. Okay. So a lot of this probably was justified. Well, thank you so much for sharing. That is great. And just a good reminder, never to cross Jessica.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Oh, that's a sexy text. Trying to make our mundane texts just a little bit more sexy. We do this every week. We go back through our phones, look for texts from our partners or correspondents that we've had, and try and make them sound just a little bit more raunchy. Just a weekly window into how admin-heavy long-term relationships become,

really, isn't it? I've had to start to scroll quite far back into text conversations with my wife, Jennifer, to find stuff. But, you know, you can find sexiness in anything if you put a sultry voice on, can't you? This is the ultimate in picking up the wrong vibes. But anyway, what have we got, Megan? All right, so I get messages from my husband

who looks after our two little kids in the morning. Babysits them. It's not babysitting, it's called parenting. So sometimes they're quite admin heavy right off the bat yep right it's that time of the morning there's stuff going on you're nice it's just stuff to do yeah i'm with you this one started nice and it was like good morning my love i was like you're promising oh sickening sickening her sleep sack is in the washing machine. I said, is everything all right? He said, yep. Peed through all three layers. Nice.

Deep into the layers of that sleep sack. Good morning to you too. I mean, odies are kind of adult sleep sacks in a way, but you don't really sleep in them. I always thought the kids had sleep sacks. Why are they made for adults? They look so cosy. Have you got an odie? I imagine an odie guy.

Oh, no. The rest of the family have all got odies. Have you not got an oddy I imagine an oddy guy oh no the rest of the family have all got oddies have you not got an oddy no everyone else is rocking oddies I thought you would have let them charge

my wife's got one my kids have got one why don't you I don't know I think I've been part of purchasing for other people onesie you got a onesie

yeah lots of onesies yeah lots of onesies got the onesies covered definitely lots of onesies my one well wife 360s this bloody bloody thing that my wife got that's the whole family tracking Ben and he just wants he's covered definitely lots of my days my one well wife 360s is bloody

bloody thing that my wife got us the whole family tracking Ben and he just wants him aligned to alone time

but it's actually quite good in regards to the kids you know when the kids are you get notifications when they go to school when they arrive home

things like that so it is quite good but then all of a sudden my wife she gets on there for time to time to check stuff and then I get

a text yesterday going how was your workout I just come back from the gym i'm like oh this is all and there is no personal space here she wasn't home i was the only one i was like anyway sorry i was a bit meant to make that sexy how was your workout there you go that sounded sexy yeah yeah it does sound sexy but it kind of put me off a little bit stop following me so i was like that was weird but anyway that's my sexy taxi uh this goes back into my rich history of just sending jen uh instagram instagram food videos uh we talked about it yesterday actually and uh this one was a

a very delicious looking steak burger and i said how's it going check out this steak burger nothing quite like a juicy steak burger to get the heart rate up. She said, what do you want me to do with this? And I said, well, put it in your mouth and let your digestive system play its part. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. A school principal from New Zealand going viral because of his impassioned speech, she's from Te Ao Muru,

to the kids about the Warriors over the weekend. Ten key players out with injuries. No short shots, no up-teams. Captain Tom Harris out with a broken finger. Five minutes into the game, they lose their hooker. Things were looking bad. But with a whole bunch of inexperienced young players stepped up.

They never gave up. They played with heart. And they won the game. Amazing, isn't it? They won against the Panthers. Anyways, resilience, that's what it looks like. I love it. That's so good.

Just remind himself of where he is. So, yeah, resilience. Sounds like a speech from a Taika Waititi film. Yeah. Beautiful work. So good. All right, the Riddler. The Riddler.

Yeah, Taylor, she is the Riddler. We call her T-Ready on the show. That's cute. Ready. Tea Reds. Thanks to Dilma, which International Tea Day today. We're just getting off that. Had to have a cup of tea and lie down after that.

It's back again. You can win a Dilma tea prize pack. And $100 cash as well. Thanks so much to Dilma. Making the world a better tea. Do try it. All right, the riddle that you throw out to us first to try and answer, which we're pretty terrible at, but go.

What do the poor have that the rich need? And if you eat it, you will die. Oh, what do the poor have? How does Grace always get these? Producer Grace is just like, yeah, I've got it. What do the poor have that the rich need? But if you eat it... You will die.

You will die. Saucy. No food? Okay, but you're in the right vicinity of answers. So it's something the poor can't afford to buy. No, you're going colder again. Oh, look, the lines there. Poor have that the rich need.

The poor have it. What do they need? I'll repeat it. What do the poor have that the rich need? And if you eat it, you'll die. Yeah, think about what the rich need. Like, what do rich people need?

Need to be humbled. Yeah. They need their tax rates to drop rich people need? Need to be humbled. Yeah. They need their tax rates to drop. They need to give me some money. The top tax rate to come down. You should talk ZB or something. All right, let's go. We'll go Kylie.

Kylie in Christchurch. Welcome to the Dilmar teaser with T. Ritty, the Riddler. What do you think the answer is there, Kylie? I think it's nothing. You're correct, Kylie. My smart cookie. Oh, the rich need nothing. And if you eat nothing, you're done.

Oh, my God. Kylie, you're smarter than us. We're going to give you our hot and cold Dilma tea prize pack. Includes some great iced teas as well as some hot teas. And $100. Well done. Awesome. thank you. Did you work that out or did you know?

I worked it out. Now you make us feel even dumber. I was kind of hoping she'd go, oh no, I've read that one before. Okay, well it's the Riddler. Week after week, we just never fail to disappoint ourselves, do we? That one's meant to be for us, that question. What was the backup one out of interest?

A man stands on one out of interest? Okay, ready? Oh, we'll get this one. A man stands on one side of a river, his dog on the other. The man calls his dog who immediately crosses the river without getting wet

and without using a bridge or a boat. How did the dog do it? I don't know. I don't care. It's not a good question. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

I always enjoy getting texts from my parents about stuff that they're curious about. And it happened to Tom Hanks' son, Chet. Now, Chet's quite different from Tom, right? He's a rapper, isn't he? He's a rapper.

He's now an actor as well. He's acting in a few big shows like Empire and Shameless. He's got a lot of tattoos, likes flat-brimmed caps and stuff like that. It's because also Colin Hanks is his son, right? Yeah. He's so different because Colin's like a chip off Tom's block. Yeah, well, Chet, just imagine, you know, like, yeah,

caps, tattoos, muscly dude and stuff like that. And Tom Hanks at 7.30 in the morning, like a boomer parent. Well, maybe unlike a boomer parent. He texts early in the morning, but the text was, because Chet's released these texts saying, Big Mane, that's how he started, Big Mane. Is that his little nickname? Yes.

Can you explain the Drake slash Kendrick feud for me? And that was all he texted in the morning. Surely he could go, hey, well, Google could probably do it. Do you want to do a little bit of research? Maybe he feels like he could do it in a paragraph, you know? Yeah. And it's nice to, you know, to include your son, I guess, you know. And so his son –

He's like Chet GPT for him. Chet replied quite a lengthy, like quite a lengthy reply going, so Drake, this other dude, Jay Cole, been saying this thing with Kendrick. And then there's the swear words and there's beef and he goes through quite a lengthy thing

explaining all these things, giving examples. Even at the end, he summarized it, saying that Kendrick was winning the feud because he basically made better music than Drake. And then Tom Hanks replied, holy cow. It's such a damn thing. Those are fighting words.

Are people taking sides? Who's winning? And Chet had to reply, did you not read what I just said? He's like, I just said Kendrick. Clearly winning. I thought he was just going to come out with like a thumbs up or something. Yeah, he's like, did you not read what I said? Laughing emojis and crying emojis and stuff as well.

So yeah. So great. I haven't heard any new beef songs between them. At one point they were releasing like two a day. I know. I feel like they've just covered all areas of each other's lives that you could love children,

parents raising a bad kid, him disappointing Compton. Even these have been covered. You have to start making up stuff now. Maybe they could do it yearly you know like every year you go through it

oh you replied all on a group email you parked in a 15 minutes for half an hour or something you know things like that do what the rest of us do and just don't hang out

with them just like you know just ignore their existence but it's fun it's fun yeah it's always good

to have a little bit of beef isn't it just for us losers to go oh look our lives aren't that miserable after all. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. A principal in Te Awamutu in New Zealand, Nahida Pori School, Mark Harapes is his name. He made a speech to his students after the weekend that's gone.

It's gone viral. Yeah. It's pretty cool. Talking about the Warriors. The Warriors game over the weekend. You can tell he was still on Cloud 9 Monday morning. An unlikely winner, as we said, for the Warriors, who had a lot of players out and was playing

at the top of the table, Penrith Panthers. And he told the story of that to the kids. Have a listen. Ten key players out with injuries. No short shots. No up-tips. Captain Tom Harris out with a broken finger. Five minutes into the game, they lose their hooker.

I think we're looking bad. But with a whole bunch of inexperienced young players stepped up. They never gave up. They played with heart. And they won the game. Amazing, isn't it? They won against the Panthers. Anyways, resilience.

That's what it looks like. That's my earliest moment of realisation. Oh, yes, a moment of realisation. Oh, yeah, anyway. I'm in school assembly. Yeah, so, yeah, resilience. Be resilient this week, kids. It's a cool message, actually. And very, yeah, you're right.

He was very passionate about it, which is great. But the kids are quite young. Like, they're not like high school kids. Well, you can learn about resilience. I know, but some of them are like, what's happening? The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. I mentioned something just in passing on Monday that sometimes about 10 to 4 in the morning, 4 o'clock in the morning, I lie on the driveway and stare at the stars just in silence.

Wait, you're serious? Yeah. I thought you were joking when you said that on Monday. And it's what I do. It's normal. It's normal to me. Ben just shrugged his shoulders as Jono heard it. Nothing surprises him. And then one of the sales reps pulled me aside as I was. It's normal. It's normal to me. Ben just shrugged his shoulders. Nothing surprises him.

And then one of the sales reps pulled me aside as I was walking to the car. And he was like, do you really do that? And I said, yes. He said, that's unusual. It's weird, bro. If I walked in on that, you lying on tar seal at four in the morning here, you'd be like saying, are you okay? And he'd approach with caution was his word. Is it like your little meditation space?

Yeah, just sit there and breathe and stare. It's a nice, calm time of the day. But when you're doing something, you think it's fine. Yeah, right. It's normal. But to other people, it's weird. Producer Taylor, the Lombardi family, toilet doors open the entire time.

Yep. It's a tradition I've now brought into my daily life as well. Wait, do you, like, around your parents, do you toilet open? Yeah, all growing up, everything, because they did it. So I just thought it was normal. Still now. Me and mum have had some of the best conversations

while I've been on the toilet. It's weird at work when you do it. Yeah, we do it at work. It's not a place for a meeting, but okay. I'm just getting stuff done. But yeah, I guess other people, when they would come into your household, would find that confronting and weird. When my husband, Marcelcelo first came over and saw my dad doing that he was like does he not even

sure no no was he like oh yeah i was like what the hell and i was like no he's just on the toilet and he's like okay i'm gonna go to the other room and i was like okay be weird about it yeah to go to the other room and i was like okay be weird about it though yeah yeah and now marcello does it in our house too so there you go catches on maybe we're doing it wrong yeah who knows so this is what we want to know uh i went home with this the weirdest thing you do uh yeah maybe you never told anyone you do it before ben oh well um everything's a bit weird that i don't sleep next to my phone, you know. It's a weird... It's in a different room.

Yeah. It's in the bathroom, annoyingly, when the alarm goes off. But it is good. I mean, it is in the bathroom because once you've got to get up to turn the phone off, that's the... Well, that's one of the reasons, but also I just don't like to sleep next to the phone. I just don't like, you know, like five or six hours of having a phone right next to my head. I don't know what it's doing.

He doesn't mind the eight to nine hours when it's in his pocket. Yeah, well, that's true. I try not to give anybody, but you're right. Well, the tinfoil hat you're wearing when you're sleeping. Yeah, that protects me, right? Megan, what would you come clean on? Weirdest thing you do? Well, I don't think it's weird, but you guys pointed it out yesterday

that it is weird that I don't use, like, packets or jars or anything to make, like, food. You didn't realise? Yeah. There's a or jars or anything to make food. You didn't? Yeah. There's a no jars or packets policy. Who initiated this rule in your household? No, it's not like a policy I just don't ever use. I just make the sauces.

Well, I mean, yeah, from time to time you do it, but when you're in a rush, I'm like, don't you just go? It doesn't take me long, though. You guys, I didn't realise that. It's not about a MasterChef out here on a Monday night, stormy Monday night in West Auckland. I'm trying to be elitist. Just don't use those jars.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. I wanted to know on 0800 The Hits, what is the thing that maybe other people might think is unusual, but the thing that you do? Ben's not sleeping next to his phone. Megan refuses to use jars and packets in cooking dinner. Old Nadia Lim over here. I didn't realise it was that weird.

Well, I feel like if you've got time, it's a great idea. It doesn't take me long. I'm not Nara Smith. I'm not like spending hours. Or you could just open a jar. Half an hour to make bolognese. That's not that long. No, but you just put it in.

It's good to go. You just open a jar, bang, bang. Yeah. Okay. Good to go. And so the weirdest thing you do is what we're opening up this morning, 0800 The Hit in. It's good to go. You just open it up. Bang, bang. Yeah. Okay. Good to go. And so the weirdest thing you do is what we're opening up this morning, 0800 The Hit. So we're going to kick things off with you, Amanda.

It involves scissors. What is it? I come up two old cough lollies into a big glad bag. And then I use the end of an axe to crush them. Then I put them into individual tiny little bags. And then I'll roll them up and put them in my bra for a couple of hours. I love this. I love everything about this.

Every step is magnificent. And then what happens after that? And then I take them out and eat them. And I'll do about four bags a night and to cut them it takes about an hour a bag. Wow, you speak a lot of time. Okay, so what's the reason behind this? Because trying to bite them almost breaks your teeth. I think you're supposed to suck them.

Well, no, I like the feeling you get when you, you know, eat them and it goes through your nose. I love this. I'm going to try this. There's a bloody 10-step program to get a cough lozenger in your mouth, and it even involves warming them up with body heat inside a bra. Yeah. How long are they in the bra for?

A couple of hours. A couple of hours. Can you smell like menthol at the end of the day? Probably. There's worse things to smell of. Amanda, I didn't know how weird we were going to get with this topic, but jeez, you've exceeded expectations. Love it.

You do you. We're going to send you out some hell pizza. We loved your call. Have a great day. Awesome. Good on you've exceeded expectations. Love it. You do you. We're going to send you out some hell pizza. We loved your call. Have a great day. Awesome. Get on you, Amanda. There we go. That's a huge commitment to cough lozenge.

Yeah. Yeah. Ingestion. And Libby, you're on. Welcome. Weirdest thing you do, Libs. Libby. Libby.

Libby. Libby. Or if your name sounds like Libby. No, we'll try and get it back on. Zara, we'll go to you. Weirdest thing you do, Zara? Take too many supplements. Well, you're jacked up on supplements.

Lots of collagen, lots of everything like that. I swear they work, though, eh? Yeah, right. How many supplements? Okay, list off the daily supplements you take. Sorry, say that again? List off all the supplements you take sorry say that again list off all the supplements you take vitamin C, vitamin D

iron collagen, fish oil not every day but most of the time we spoke to Dr John don't say it to her she's spending a lot of money every day and she swears it works don't tell her what Dr John said you're doing wonders for that. She's spending a lot of money every day, and she swears it works. Don't tell her what Dr. John said.

You're doing wonders for your health. That's what Dr. John says. So thank you so much, Sarah. Go and have a supplemented day. And now we're going to get Libby back on. You join us. Libby, weirdest thing you do? Hey, guys.

So often I'll forget to wash my armpits in the shower. So then when I get out, I'll wash them in the sink afterwards. Oh, just like splash water under them? Yeah, a bit of soap. A bit of soap? Oh, yeah. Feels like armpits are the first destination you reach in the shower, I would have thought.

Oh, not when you're washing your hair and shaving your legs. Oh, gotcha. Yeah, right. And you can't, you don't want to get into bed with sticky armpits, you know? No. So are you kind of hunched over the sink and splashing water up onto the armpits? Yeah, and then soap and then trying to splash water to get the soap and the water everywhere and then the towels, but it isn't getting back in the shower.

Far be it from me to judge your shower time, but it would have been easier to maybe just get back in the shower, focus on the pits and get back out shower time but it would have been easier maybe just get back in the shower focus on the pits and get back out again. But anyway, that's fine. That's what we wanted. We're going to send you out some help beats

and we really appreciate your call as well. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Now it's time to cross to the man who thanks his blessings every day. He jumped off

the TV news journalism ship and a lady who wonders every day how on earth did she end up back on the Daily Grind of radio, Matty and PJ. Morning, James. Good morning.

Now, where are we today? Because yesterday, busy day for you. Started in Christchurch, ended in Wellington. What's happening today? Okay, so we've been to Levin. We've just been at Levin Bakery trying the iconic cronuts. And we are currently en route to Parni, where we're going to be at Knee Bakery from 9.30, eating donuts. Wowee.

So if it's been baked or deep fried, it's part of your food pyramid this week. Absolutely. Day three, how are you feeling? Not a salad in sight, Jono. You said some veggies and your souvlaki yesterday That counts That's true actually Megan Thank you Megan

A friend texted me yesterday And I'm not here to pick holes in the campaign Halfway through But my friend said Why are they inviting everyone to eat souvlakis At 9am in the morning And come and drink coffee with them in Wellington at 5.30 at night? I will have you know that in Christchurch, we were done with our souvlakis by within half an hour, I reckon.

Yeah, look, it did have to do with vouchers. So people could eat a souvlakis any time of day. But look, biggest can't be choosers on this trip. You know, we're in, we're out. If we have to have a coffee at five o'clock, we will be in. We will have a bloody coffee at five o'clock. And listen, I know this radio station is all about positivity.

Rainbows and unicorns. But if you were to pick the most overrated item. That's what I want to know too. Oh no. Natty, you're up. Or we can do it a hits friendly way. Your favourite to your least favourite, but you still enjoyed it item.

Honestly, the souvlaki was like a 10 out of 10 for me. Yeah, you can't beat the souvlaki. What I will say is the third coffee we had yesterday afternoon probably was a mistake. That is a diplomatic answer, isn't it? We should have stopped at two. We should have stopped at two yesterday afternoon. Right, okay, good.

Beautifully sidestepped. Beautifully sidestepped. Although I will say the three coffees got rid of the souvlaki by the end of the day. I was like, how do I politely ask about that? If you're on the road. Too much information. All right, well, you guys, enjoy the rest of your eating your way around New Zealand.

When does this crazy idea for a tour end? Friday. Friday with fried chicken in Auckland. So there'll be more details about where we're going to be a little bit later on this week. This afternoon, though, we're in Hawke's Bay and we're doing balls. Yeah, you can come get free balls from Brave Brewing Time. We've got 100 meatballs to give away. I've heard about those meatballs.

Legit. They're meant to be amazing. Iconic, apparently. So me and PJ are going to see how many balls we can fit in our mouths. Join many of PJ this afternoon for an afternoon of entendres.