Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL SHOW: Our Warning Labels!

Episode Date: March 13, 2025

ON THE SHOW TODAY: Is Ben the weak parent? Megan has the worlds prettiest uterus?!? You have to be deserted on an island with a celeb - Why are we picking Trump? Megan left her daughter overnight with a sticker book... What's the longest you've waited for a reply? Facebook: The Hits Breakfast with Jono, Ben & MeganInstagram: THEHITSBREAKFAST  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Jono, Ben and Megan podcast, thanks to Dilma. Goodness really does taste great. Dilma, making the world a better tea. Welcome to the podcast on a Friday. Megan, you're very excited this weekend about the F1 starting up Sunday night. First race of the season, Liam Lawson's first official race in the Red Bull team.

It is going to rain though, and there's five rookies on the track. So could be a bit of carnage, but hopefully he makes it through. Like netball, like school grade netball, they plow on through the rain, so it could be a bit of carnage, but hopefully he makes it through. Like netball. Like school-grade netball, they plough on through the rain, the Formula 1. I'd feel like if any sport were to pause for rain,

firstly, netball needs to as a supporting parent on the sideline. And secondly, Formula 1. Cars that are travelling at 328km an hour. Have you seen it when they're racing and it's raining? Their tiny wee windscreen is just like... They can't see. Yeah, it's wildly're racing and it's raining? Their tiny wee windscreen is just like... They can't see.

They can't see. Yeah, it's wildly very dangerous, isn't it? So dangerous. And then you go, like, I love my cricket, but then it's like, oh, the outfield's a bit damp. It's like, the outfield's damp, you know? They're not going at 200km an hour. Yeah, they could just skid over and hurt their bum.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, like cricket, again, probably could harden up a little bit, play those bad lights, the rain, just like any excuse to get off the field, they'll do it. Formula One though,

keep going. Keep ploughing on, they've got to keep the schedule, like the netball schedule. But Liam Lawson, the New Zealander who's making his, well not

his debut, but his debut in his own car. Yeah. He was interviewed by Australian television, they're trying to claim him and he's not having a bar of it Good on him

Sticking to his guns The journo was funny Oi, oi, oi It was very funny Now who Because they have claimed a couple over the years The crowded house debate Good on him Sticking to his guns The journal was funny Oi Oi Oi It was very funny Now who Because they have claimed A couple over the years The crowded house debate

Yeah Russell Crowe as you mentioned Pavlova We haven't let that go No no We probably should It's just a cake Marlap as well

You know That's right If we were to claim Okay you can claim One Australian New Zealand can claim An Australian Who are you going

Can I claim a bundle Like the Hemsworths Oh that's a good one That's a great option I thought you were Going to say the Wiggles Another good option Another good option

They're trans-Tasman I think I think they're both of ours Yeah Now when you said A bunch of them I wasn't thinking The Hemsworths Yeah

You don't want to take One over another No I quite like Individual works Liam She likes a gaggle of Hemsworth. Liam, Luke and what's the other one? Larry.

No, the most famous one. Chris. Chris. Yeah. Chris, I want all of them. Even the dad. I'll take the dad too. What about the poor mum?

She's going to be left over in Australia. Mum can come. We can have wines. But have you seen the dad? Google it if you've not seen the Hemsworth dad. Okay, so I'm Australian, I'm on the phone. I'm like, yeah, g'day. You can have the Hemsworth,

but you've got to give us the Barrett's. Oh, yeah, it's all right. You can have the Barrett's. Oh, you've extended exchange. Well, you're a trade and exchange sort of thing. Sorry, Geordie and Bowdoin. Okay, well, see, a lot of New Zealanders would say no to what you're saying right now.

No, I'm fine with that. Okay, okay. That's why we shouldn't have got you to negotiate a bar in New Zealand. I'm a Formula One girlie. She's willing to tank the All Blacks. Well, enjoy the podcast. We actually start the show with warning labels for ourselves.

Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. You had a fun idea yesterday, Ben. Yeah, well, I saw it floating around on social media, and it was a little trend that people could add to. But it was like, if you as a person came with a warning label, what would it say?

So if you instantly came up to people, you had one of those little labels, you kind of went, what's that say? Or read the warning. Warning, dot, dot, dot. Not being sarcastic this time, Producer Grace. Dot, dot, dot means more to come. What would the warning label say?

There's a great idea They should actually be state funded warning labels So like warning Don't talk about the vaccine with this person Don't get into US politics You know the no go areas People might say warning Not a morning person

That's the thing It would actually be really handy It would What's wrong with them? You'd be like warning Having a bad day Great That's not me.

I'll get on with my day. I'll let them ease into it. You're right. Make social interactions far more. Even like warning I've had no sleep. Yeah. Like toddlers, no sleep. Oh, we'll bite today.

That's great. Let's get Elon Musk to do something. Put a chip in us or something. We've all come with warning labels that can change. What would yours be? Well, I think it would be warning struggles to relax. If you want to relax around me, particularly at home, I struggle to relax.

If I go out, I'm a lot better. But at home, it feels like there's stuff to do. It's very hard to relax. That's why I love going out on the weekend. It's like, great, we go out, you don't have to worry about the things you need to do at home. I'd also add to Ben's warning label, also will give other warnings about

potentially offending people, which most likely probably won't happen. Also side effects, overthinking, unnecessary guilt, and paranoid turning off of household appliances so they're not a fire risk. It'll take them ages to leave the house for said activities.

Maybe that's why you don't like being at home. You're like, this place is going to burn down. All these appliances are off at the same time. What about you? 4487 on the text. Love to hear yours, Megan. Mine would be probably warning flies off the handle. I don't know. There's ones you need to-

Do you fly off the handle? Shut up. I haven't seen you fly off the handle. Shut up. I haven't. Honestly, the only thing I've seen you get passionate about is Meghan Markle. I know, yeah, well that's what we were referring to. We fly off the handle yesterday. Tell you what, do not talk smack

about Meghan Markle. Don't even have a conversation around Meghan Markle. Don't start. Don't even bring it up. I didn't even mention her name again. Don't start. Meghan? No, Jono. Well, I've got audio. It's so funny. Don't play it. No one enjoyed that conversation.

These two were going back and forth. Do you know he secretly recorded us? Oh, did he? What a monster act. Yeah, who's the monster here? That should be your warning label. We'll use it as part of your life on radio for content, even when it personally wasn't a great moment.

Doesn't care. That's his warning label No I'd never play it I said to Megan I wouldn't play it You literally picked up your phone You're fucked to play it And it's plugged in

It's plugged in Don't try and take that back You're right Now I'd never play it What do we do The warning labels That you give yourself Ben what is yours again?

It's probably hard to relax. It doesn't relax easy, I would say, probably. It would be mine. Takes the iron in the car, wouldn't it? Yeah, overthink things, definitely. Megan Pappas, warning will forage and make meals from scratch. And bite. Occasionally flies off the handle.

Hope, good morning to you. How are you? I'm good. How are you guys? We're doing well. What's your warning label? My warning label is warning contains sarcasm. That's good.

Does your sarcasm offend at times? Yeah, people don't know if I'm being serious or sarcastic, so I always have to tell them I'm being serious. Don't worry. Yeah, I like sarcasm. That's good. But then do you get those people that are like, oh, sarcasm's the weakest form of wit.

You're like, no, it's pretty funny. Yeah, all the time, all the time. But I do say if you can't handle me, then we're not a good match. I like it. There could be another warning label. If you can't handle me, then we're not a good match. I like it. There could be another warning label. If you can't handle this ride, don't hop on board. Have a good one, Hope. You too.

Lots of great texts coming through on this one. Yeah. What are they? Warning, this person buys too many cars. Oh, yeah. Warning, admits a noxious gas. Which is a good one. I like this one.

Warning, does not get the joke. I'm very good one. I like this one. Warning. Does not get the joke. I'm very slow to pick up all the things. So maybe just re-explaining the joke. When you're standing there blankly, you'll be like, what is this? Point to your warning label. Producer Ellie, you got one. Come on in, mate.

Another great one here. Warning. Adding alcohol. This is on 4487. Adding alcohol will result in spontaneous online unnecessary purchases. Been there. Producer Ellie, your warning label? Yes.

You know how trucks on the road, they have the leave space, because they're quite wide? I would have leave space farts often. You know? You're in a very small room with Producer Grace. I know. Poor Grace. How is that for Producer Grace in the mornings?

Yeah, well, how is it, Grace? Do you love it? Yeah. Are you emitting the noxious gas? Yeah, well, how is it, Grace? Do you love it? Yeah. Are you emitting the noxious gas? Yeah. No, yeah, I'm a big father. And proud. Proud of it.

And proud, you know? But I'm not great for you. You can't hold it in. It's not good for you. Exactly. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits.

I mean, targeted, singled out by my kids. And I think parents, a lot of parents listening would probably relate to it. There's always one that they kind of single out. The other day I got, I was mentioning to you guys, they asked me a lot of questions. I'm often dealing with the afternoons because my wife works much later than I am. So it's probably a good three or four hours most times

with me just, you know, dealing with a lot of stuff with them. And sometimes I'm like, well, let's ask mum when you get home. We'll have to ask mum. I'll give a maybe for now. Oh, that's a good one. Let her do the duty work. I love that. Just because I'm like, well, we'll get back to that conversation.

They're like mountain leopards, children. They can smell weakness. Can't they prey on it? And they told me. And they were like, why do you always have to say that? Why can't you make a decision? Calling me, basically calling me weak. Yeah.

You don't want to be a bad cop. Yeah. But also at the same time, I could make a decision, basically calling me weak. Yeah. You don't want to be a bad cop. Yeah. But also at the same time, I could make a decision. I'm happy too, but I don't know. I'd be like, can I have a sleepover Saturday night? Well, we're going away. I can't, you know, like. Oh, and also like mum lives here too.

Like she might not, she might have things on. She might have plans. We'll talk about when mum gets home. Just every now and then though, you want to be the CEO of Big Balls, don't you? Of the Big Calls. Do you sometimes just make the big calls in the moment? Yeah, I'll probably regret those ones later. Yeah, but I would notice,

because we've set up, you know, like a screen limit, you know, for them on certain apps as well, on their phones and stuff. So if they're on, you know, social media and things like that, it's limited to amount of time they're on Snapchat or TikTok or stuff.

But they can request more time no matter where they are and it comes through now i had thought that this request went to both my wife and myself until yesterday i got a screen request and normally i'm pretty quick at getting back i decide in the moment like simon cowell i'm like you're through to boot camp or you're not there what do you reckon the percentage of you saying yes to Noah's? He would say yes. He folds like a deck chair this guy. Like 80% of the time you're saying yes? Yeah, probably.

I do think about where they are and what's going on. I'm like, okay, yeah, that sounds a bit boring. They probably have some more screen time or whatever it is. So percentage. And I also feel guilty because I'm on my phone a lot. He's like 80%, right? Yeah, probably 80%. Yesterday I get a screen time request from one of my daughters,

and then I didn't reply to that. I was like, oh, I was busy. And I was like, oh, Amanda will probably get this. She can deal with that. It comes back. Another request straight away to me. And then I get a dad. And then a little arrow, a little finger pointing up.

Oh, yeah. Dad, I thought you were able to make decisions in this household. And I reply back, oh, I'll leave this one to mum. And my daughter went, I didn't ask mum. These are targeted at me. Oh, yeah. You can choose the parent that you do it with. You're the softy. If you've been targeting me, are you calling me weak?

No reply to that one. Yeah. They've discovered the mentally weak one. Yeah. Because I used to always ask mum, and then mum would go, ask your father. And I'd go, that means no. I bet they've got a spreadsheet of percentages of who said yes, who hasn't

and at the moment you're leading. It's probably me to be honest to say. Particularly I feel guilty as I said because I'm on my phone quite a lot. What environment do you deem so boring that they're allowed access to the internet? Also there's lots of things you do as an adult that they are not allowed to or shouldn't be allowed to do.

You're right though, aren't you? Super guilty. I'm having a margarita. You guys better have one. I'm not doing that. Now Megan, you mentioned something yesterday. We wanted to start up this topic. It's a little bit niche. But when you've gone to a professional,

whether a builder's come over or maybe you've gone to a professional, whether a builder's come over or maybe you've gone to a medical professional, and they've said to you, wow, I have never seen this before. Sometimes it's a negative thing. But this thing for me has stuck with me because I was like, oh, my God, thank you. So I was having fertility treatment to have my son, and so they were doing a lot of activity down there, shall we say. It was a busy period down there.

Like a southern motorway. Lots of people were driving on it. But there was a woman looking at it. So to speak. So to speak. Only one person technically. Yeah, yeah, I was just thinking that. I don't know what they were doing.

I don't know how hard they were trying. There was a woman looking at the screen, the ultrasound screen, and she turns to me and she goes, oh, wow, I have never seen a uterus like this before. And I was like, oh, no. You think you're going to be part of some medical journal or something? I was like, here we go, this is the issue. She says to me, you have the most photogenic uterus I have ever seen.

And I was like, oh my God, thank you. That sounds like such a load of... What a compliment. My uterus could go on the catwalk. It could be a model. I'd love to see the ultrasound for myself so I can decide for myself whether that's the most photogenic uterus. I have model internal organs.

She's got the Beyonce of uteruses. I do. It just wasn't doing his job. But it looked good. It looks good. Now, producer Grace, we'll get you in here because she took her cat to the vet

and the vet had been working for decades in the veterinary industry and the vet told you that they had never seen this before. He had never felt a cat so soft before. The softest cat. My cat is the softest cat, everyone. Was he flirting with you? That seems like an odd...

He was like old. He was like 30. That's right, for you that's old. So it was soft. Had you washed your cat in fabric softener or something before taking her into the vet? Nothing. She was just pure eyeful. It was great. I felt so proud.

I came home and told my whole family. The softest cat. Never seen a cat so soft, said that vet. The best looking uterus, the softest cat. What? Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits.

I'm just talking about when the professionals, the pros told you they'd never seen this before. Megan, the compliment of a lifetime. The most photogenic uterus they've ever seen. It wasn't doing its job, but boy was it pretty. If that uterus could walk, it'd be stomping down a catwalk. It would be, and I'm holding on to that. My internal organs

are model-like. Did she x-ray, did she take a photo of it and put it on a wall of legendary uteruses? No, but she did a little tour for me. She was like, see, look at this, and I was like, sure, yeah. Looks great. We're privileged to be working with the most photogenic uterus in New Zealand radio. You are, you are.

Put that on the billboards rather than photos of us. Photos of your uterus? Chuck the ute up there, mate. Chuck the ute up there. Damn, I'm going to tune into that show. That's a nice ute. Ian, welcome to the show. Morena, how are you, Ian?

Good, how are you guys? We're doing well, mate. When the pros said they'd never seen this before. Okay. Yeah, my wife about five years ago was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. Oh my gosh, I'm sorry. Which wasn't pleasant. No.

But they did brain surgery and at first they couldn't work out what was going on. And after the test and everything else, she was diagnosed with tuberculosis of the brain. And they'd never seen her. That sounds unusual. Was that a one-off? Yes, they said she was the only one in New Zealand that's had TB of the brain.

Wow. And she spent the last four years in intensive medication. She's coming right now slowly. So she's still with us. That's great. Had them baffled for about two weeks after the surgery. They were really baffled about it and sent samples all over her brain all over the world.

She came back with that. That is wild, Ian. That was crazy And so she's remarkably better now Than she was Oh yes She's actually doing a little bit of part time work She won't stop this lady

Yeah good I can imagine you've told her to stop Ian I have Won't listen You know what will make her feel better mate We'll send her a picture of Megan's uterus. Oh, that would be bloody awesome. She can have a look at that and sun shall shine down on her day.

She's a good new aunt. I appreciate it. Hey, go on. You really appreciate your call in. Thanks for sharing this morning. Kerry, when the pros said they'd never seen it before. My daughter had an ovarian cyst, and it had gone to, when an ultrasound guy saw it,

it was eight kilos. Eight kilos? Yeah, and then by the time she had the operation, I asked them to take photos during the operation, because I'm a nurse, and I'm interested in that sort of stuff. And it just looked like a giant beach ball. And when it came out, they weighed it and it was 12.2 kilos.

12 kilograms? She was carrying around. Yeah, so it was like a beach ball and they said it was filled with like a gel substance. And they'd never seen that before? No, not that big, no. She was even fascinated with the first one. She wanted to put it on Facebook, but I told

her she'd not react to it. That would go gangbusters on Facebook. That would go viral. Hey, well listen, thank you so much for your call, Kerry. Yep, that's cool. Someone's texting 4487, had a plumber come over, the toilets weren't working and they pulled out what looks like a 20kg ball of flushable wipes.

Plumber said that he had never seen a ball this size before. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. Pukaluwinski is probably not a name that you've thought about very recently, but it's a name that we all know. And the reason she has come to the forefront again is because Gen Zs, a lot of the younger generation are like,

wait, what happened to this woman? That's not right. She is now doing a podcast called Reclaiming, and she has been on one of the biggest podcasts in the world, Call Her Daddy, talking about her experience. And in hindsight, hindsight or we did this woman wrong oh boy boy yeah so she uh she was involved in an intimate to act with the president at the time multiple multiple with bill clinton who was nearly 50 she was 22 he denied i want you

to listen to me i'm going to say this again i did not have sexual relations with that woman miss lewinsky i I love how they were like let's focus on the intern, the 22-year-old intern. We won't worry about the 15-year-old president. One of the points she made was she was like, they called me a stalker and said that I was like stalking him through the White House and she was like

they're a secret service. I don't know if people realise how the White House works but you can't just tap the president on the shoulder. You know, like he's very well protected. What surprised me was, how could they even get away with this act in the Oval Office? There'd be people around everywhere. Well, he would have needed to want

it, do you know what I mean, for it to happen. Otherwise, she wouldn't have gotten in contact with him. But she's done a lot of interviews recently to promote her podcast, and she talked about the moment when she realised her whole life was going to change when she saw her apartment, neighbors, newspapers on the ground. I remember seeing my name above the fold and the investigation and looking down the hall and seeing the exact same newspaper outside everybody else's door. It was shocking. It was terrifying.

And I didn't actually know how to process anything. I'm a poor lady. 22 years old. I just bloody had my only things I had my lips around was a Jagermeister bottle. That's a year younger than producer Grace being involved with the president. But we didn't have the terms like gaslighting.

We didn't have fat shaming. S-word shaming back then. Those are all things that have developed now. Which is good. She talks about all of that, but she has also shared her hopes for women going forward. It doesn't matter how many times you fall down. It matters how many you get up. That's the most important thing.

And a true test to that woman's character. Yeah. To make it through that, I'm sure she had some dark, dark days. Incredible. Incredible. She's had to fight the shame as well. She felt shame. She didn't get a job for 10 years.

Really? Oh, man. Because people were like, no, we can't employ you. Oh, that's awesome. What's the podcast called? Reclaiming by Monica Lewinsky. You can also hear her chat with Alex on Call Her Daddy. Jono, Ben and Megan.

The podcast. The hits. I caught the other day. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. I caught the other day, I was at the gym just listening to, this time I was actually listening to a podcast, not just having my headphones in with nothing on. He does that so he doesn't have to talk to people at the gym. I don't want to burden you guys with, you know, like listen to sports podcasts.

And now and again, I listen to a basketball podcast or two. This is one called The Mismatch. And I thought it was interesting because they talked about a New Zealander. The question was posed, if you were going to be on a deserted island like Castaway Styles and you were stuck with one NBA player, who would it be? And they talked about New Zealand's very own Stephen Adams was both the podcast announcer's choice. Stephen Adams. Because Stephen Adams, first of all, great hang, great attitude,

good vibes all day, every day, because this is going to be a marathon. It's going to be the two of us hungry, stuck on a deserted island. We need to keep the morale up, and I feel like Steven Adams would do that. Also, from New Zealand, I'm sure he can catch us some fish.

He's the strongest person, not just in the league, maybe on the planet, probably top 100, and he's just the absolute perfect person to be stuck on a deserted island with. If you had to choose out of the NBA players, you probably would say. That's pretty good. Imagine he does a bit of hunting and fishing and stuff. He loves wearing the hunting and fishing

clothes and stuff. So you'd imagine he does hunting and or fishing. Yeah, that was a really good answer for me. Yeah, so I thought, well, let's broaden things out. And then okay, Stephen Adams, great choice, but let's go celebrity. Who would you go on a deserted island with?

And I want to know, four, four, eight, seven on the text. Oh, a hundred of the hits. Now,

obviously, I mean, like beer grills, I mean, would be, I was thinking about last night, but do we want to eliminate outdoorsy? Is it almost like he's too much of an expert? I feel like three days in,

you'd really, the urine drinking would really start to plateau out, wouldn? I feel like three days in, you'd really... That's the obvious answer. The urine drinking would really start to plateau out, wouldn't it, about three days in? You're like, oh, I can't do any more of this. Sorry, beer. Can you find us something else to drink? Surely.

What is our... Like, are we trying to survive? Like, what's our... You can just say who you'd want to be stranded on an island with. A little bit of... I mean, obviously, it would be good to survive, but also you want to hang out. You want a good hang and you want to be stranded on an island with. Yeah, a little bit of, I mean, obviously it would be good to survive, but also you want to hang out. You want a good hang and you want to survive as well. Harry Styles, because we'd have a good time before we died.

Jesus, you wouldn't be like, I can imagine what's in your head and in my head what you're doing for, you know. I don't know how long we'd survive, but it'd be a good time. You can't pass your way to safety. You're going to be seven days in both with grade nine pass rash and you'll be like, oh. But what a way to go out Yeah you're like

Well here now Last thing You just go for it Good time Not a long time That's a good choice I was thinking also You know like

But maybe you're clouded By action movies You know like People like Jason Statham You know would be awesome But then Yours is just The Rock Isn't it

Yeah it ended up on The Rock I was trying to think about Not The Rock But I was like The Rock actually seems like A genuine great guy But he eats 20 million calories a day Like he's Maui. I was trying to think about not the rock, but I was like the rock actually seems like a genuine great guy. But he eats 20 million calories a day. Like he's going to eventually start eating you.

Eating me. He's very strong. He'll get hangry. He'd protect me though, wouldn't he? No, he'd eat you. He's like there's not enough protein on this island for me. Yeah, you're right. He'd probably eat me.

You know who I'm going to go? Bezos. Jeff Bezos. He's going to Amazon? Bezos. Jeff Bezos. He's going to Amazon package this. Here's my theory. Someone of that stature, they are going to send everyone to find him. He's going to have special forces. He's going to have an army.

You're going to be found, I reckon, within 24 hours. Yeah, he should have just gone like Elon or Trump. Yeah, all right. Maybe you want to do that. 4487 on the text. Tell us this morning, quick text poll. Stranded on an island

with a celebrity, who would it be and why? I'd love to hear from you next. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. Off listening to a podcast,

they were talking about which NBA player they'd like to, if they had to survive Desert Island, that situation, just you and one other. And they chose Stephen Adams, New Zealand's own Stephen Adams.

Ben, out of Jono and I, who would you be stuck on an island with? I know the answer to this. To be honest, what popped into my mind last night was looking at your Instagram and you were foraging for figs in your garden and then making things from scratch. I'm foraging for figs. It was my backyard. things from scratch. You were foraging for figs? It was my backyard. And you're like, making fig jams.

You've obviously got a lot of practical skills which Jono and I don't have. Yeah, true. I could cook. I could cook for you. I mean, how long can you eat fig jam for on an island, mate?

Hey, beggars can't be choosers. Fig jam, you really, you and Megan Markle need to do a show together. No, people would hate on it. So, yeah, great text coming through. If you had to be marooned on an island with any celebrity. Bear Grylls, we tried to eliminate him, but he's come through multiple,

and for obvious reasons. Harry Styles has come through again as well for you. Different obvious reasons. I think you either want to survive or you want a good time not a long time. Maybe a fox has come through. You want to forage through Harry, don't you? Good time, not a long time. Play with his figs.

Someone else, a celebrity that spends a lot of time in New Zealand, very similar to Stephen Adams has come through a couple of times. Yeah, Jason Marmore. Now, Ellie, you put Jason Marmore on your list. I did, instantly. Yeah, okay. Is this for a good time, tick, and also for some practical

skills, you think? Yeah, well, I mean, he's in a band, isn't he? So he's obviously musical. He could entertain you. It's not survival. Okay, you've got some entertainment. I don't really care about surviving. I just want to sit there and look at him.

But in saying that, though, like, he is a big guy. He's a big guy. He is muscly. Yeah, he'd be useful. He'd be nice and strong and, you know, build a fire and stuff like that. Yeah, he would. You're like, Jason, I think you need to build that fire with less clothing on. I agree.

In fact, put all your clothes in the fire. Burn them, burn them, burn the clothes. He'd need fuel for the fire. He'd be a good big spoon too. I'd probably just spontaneously combust if he looked at me anyway. You're like, we've only been stuck for one minute. We've just got off the boat and then arrived.

There's another tour party here. You're like, I don't know, we're stuck. Take your clothes off. Good on you, Ellie. Really appreciate you phoning through. Have a great weekend. Producer Grace, now you had a very interesting theory on you, Ellie. Really appreciate you phoning through. Have a great weekend. Now, producer Grace, now you had a very interesting theory on this as well. I think I've hacked the system.

So I would pick Trump because all of America, no, because all of America will be wanting to find him. He's the president. That's true. And she aligns with his political beliefs. And say the other reason. And if I had to eat someone, I'd feel less guilty about.

Cannibalism. You know what I mean? Yeah. I feel like he could be a bit waggo. Very chewy, wouldn't he? Be like chewing a belt. I don't know. No, I'm not feeling big.

Let's just say he's not eating you first, you know? No, I think I got it. All right, okay. You would have been the greatest meal of all time. Tremendous meal. Top 10 meals of all time, Grace. John O'Bannon Megan. The podcast.

The hits. But something that's not giving you joy like that Spice Girl song, Megan, and it's not making fig jam like you were last night. Why do you say it like that? Because he's judging you.

No, it's great. It's great. Fig jam. He's patronisingly saying, how was your fig jam, by the way? It was delicious, actually. Home's judging you. That's great. That's great. Fig jam. He's patronisingly saying, how was your fig jam, by the way? It was delicious, actually.

Homemade fig jam. I'll bring you some on Monday. Fig's growing on the Papa's residence. you do that. That's awesome. That is great. I mean,

you've got to have your things you're into. I've got things that I'm into and you've got things you're into. It's great. I feel like my mum

sort of will make things like that which are great but then I'll forget about them and you leave them in the fridge for like four years.

Yeah, and they slide to the back on the top shelf. Yeah. Yeah. So I hope you're putting it in the rotate. Yeah. I'm just going to give lots of people little pottles. Yeah, that's a good idea.

Nice. Yeah. Mind you, it stays for 10,000 years, doesn't it, Jan? It's got lots of sugar in it. Yeah. It'll preserve forever. Anyway, we're not talking about the jam, but something else I did yesterday. It took me a very long time to clean up an error that I made.

My daughter's going to sleep with literally everything in her room at the moment. She's like, give me this, give me this, give me this. But her favorite thing is a Moana book. It's a coloring in book. And I was like, you can have that in bed. You can't see it. She just wants to cuddle it. So I put her to bed.

It's dark. She's like, get me the Moana book. I was like, cool. There you go. Nothing like a square-shaped pointy book to cuddle It's dark. She's like, get me the Moana book. I was like, cool. There you go. Nothing like a square-shaped pointy book to cuddle up next to. I know. I know. You'd be like cuddling Ben Boyce at night.

I don't know why. But all I could see in the dark was it said Moana on the front. And I was like, cool. That's your book. Gave it to her. Then when we went to bed, we went to check on her later. And all I could see was just this stuff all over the floor. And as I got closer, I realized I'd given her a sticker book that boasts on the front 1,001 stickers.

That's a lot of stickers. Moana stickers. I've since learned, because I put this on my Instagram, a lot of parents are like these sticker books are the worst there's a jurassic park one there's a spider-man one because it has a thousand and one stickers sure but they're tiny little confetti stickers yeah and she had opened them up in the dark and she had put them all over they were all over her body they were all over her cot all over the floor like she was sprinkled with stickers

it looks like she had chicken pox everywhere it did and I was like oh my god how do I do that she's fast asleep it's 10 at night how do I get the stickers off her

did you let her sleep in them no I did my best but then the next morning she's like I had my sticker book she's two I had my sticker book I put stickers on my cot you You're like, yeah, you

did, mate. I'm still finding them everywhere. I'm surprised she didn't choke on them or something. Are they coming off the cot? No. The paper ones. Yeah. Sometimes they'd sit and you can't get them off. The walls and stuff the kids put the stuff on. And she put it down the walls. She's put it everywhere.

Why didn't they just cap it a thousand stickers? It feels like a thousand. It is already a plentiful supply. Give me 30 proper sized stickers. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. Speaking of emergencies, I was catastrophizing yesterday. Have you ever been in a situation where you text someone

and they don't text back immediately? This is a person that you would expect to text back immediately. Sort of in the zero to one minute mark, you're like, okay, that's fine. They're probably busy. Ten minutes, oh, they might be in the shower. You start thinking up scenarios in your head. By the one hour mark, I'm like, it's official. They've run off.

They've joined a cult. They've been kidnapped by cult leaders. Oh, you go down that track. Yeah, do you start catastrophizing when you don't hear back? Yeah, but I go like, they hate me. What have I done wrong? Like, why aren't they, oh my God, I need to go into damage control. Are they still annoyed that they had to shout me ice cream in 2013?

Yeah, have I not paid them back? Yeah. But some people are just shocking at getting back, aren't they? Yeah. Usually it's your best of friends who are like, three to five working business days, that's an acceptable time for someone to text you back. Yeah.

I remember texting someone literally six months later. I got the reply back. That's probably me. I don't text back anyone. So I like to think you don't catastrophize because then you're never expecting an instant reply. I just don't text back anyone. Don't you? It's not personal.

No. It seems personal. If it's a quick reply, I'll do it then and then. But sometimes you're like, oh, this needs more than just a thumbs up. Or like, yeah, okay, cool, sounds good. So you're like, I'll get back to that. And sometimes you forget to get back to that. Because you read the message.

You read it, you get a call. And you're like, I'll do it later. And you don't do it later. That's what I do. Yeah. I'll tell you who's good. Mums are good at replying instantly. They love a quick volley back, don't they?

It's really bad when your mum leaves you on scene, though. You can see they've got their read receipts. You can see she's read it and then doesn't reply. You're like, oh, God, what have I done to my mum? She hates me. Yeah. People who you're crushing on, apparently, they do it strategically. I was reading an article.

Because you can't seem too keen. They leave it to the eight-hour mark on average. Gotcha. Really? Yeah, I suppose it makes sense if you're looking like a clinger, like replying back straight away. Megan's. I just replied straight away.

But now you're treating everyone else, you're treating them mean and keeping them keen with your text approach. John O'Byrne and Megan. The podcast. The hits. All through the month of March, we want to get your merchandise. If you're a business, you can send it up to us.

Just text MERCH to 4487. It'll bounce back all the details. You can send it up for us. We'll talk about it on the radio, maybe even put it on social media. Megan's going to model it all at the end of the month, and then we're going to give it all away on the last day of March.

You know what's been really humbling is that people are actually doing it. You never know how much power radio has nowadays, do you? But every day, packages coming through the door. First off, we were greeted with a parcel from the Moransville Veterinary Clinic. They gave us a cow milking apron amongst some other merch yesterday. Mr. Marijuana, is it, or Mr. THC? Mr. THC sent us a couple of beanies, cool bandanas, and some T-shirts. Now, today, two packages for Megan.

One is from, it just says Saunders in Potatiru. Okay, great. So we'll go with that one first. You love opening packages, don't you? I love it. I do love getting packages. Is this not the heavy metal band? Oh, I think it is.

Acid Nuts. Wow. Acid Morph. Acid Morph. It is a t-shirt from the band Acid Morph. Oh, and the CD. Oh, cool. It's like, whoa, I haven't held a CD for such a long time.

Hold up the T-shirt. Can I have a look? Okay. Here we go. Oh, there we go. Acidmorph. There's a lady. It looks like she's being held captive by a serpent.

And is that an eagle clawing her heart out? Yeah. Yeah. High concept stuff, but I like it. I like it. Lovely. That's a great T-shirt. Yeah, that's cool. We'll have to play some Acidmorph. They even drew, but I like it. I like it. Lovely. That's a great T-shirt. Yeah. That's cool.

We'll have to play some Acid Morph. They even drew, what's that? Oh, the goats. Yeah, the goat horns things. Yeah, that was from Owen. Thanks, Owen. He's a lovely guy. Lovely guy.

Okay, well, there you go. We've got a T-shirt, another T-shirt. Just on the other end of the music scale, also yesterday from one of the music companies, we've got a couple of Taylor Swift T-shirts as well, too, from her. Merch from her tour. So we're covering all the musical scale. Also yesterday from one of the music companies, a couple of Taylor Swift t-shirts as well too, from her, merch from her tour.

So we're covering all the musical bases. I can alternate Taylor with Acid Morph. So that's in the box in the studio as well, that we'll give away at the end of the month. All right. And this one comes to us from Morrinsville in the Waikato. Okay. It's a book.

It is a book. It felt like a book. Yeah. It's heavily, heavily bubble wrapped book It felt like a book Yeah It's heavily Heavily bubble wrapped Oh there's several books This is cute Okay Bear with me While I get the bubble wrapped

No that's fine No just take time My body My taonga Oh cool That's like A kid's book That explains what

It's about body safety. Oh, that's a really good idea. That's a good message. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's a great message. So you can send all. We don't care what the merch is. As long as it's got a brand on it, we'll take it for merch madness.

Yeah, text 4487. Text merch to 4487. That's the number. And should we take it out with a little bit of Acid Morph? Okay. Hopefully this is going to play. If it has an E on it, that means explicit. He's not listening to you.

So thanks to Acid Morph. There we go. You can win that at the end of March once Megan has worn all the merch in In a high concept, we have to start organising the catwalk show, Ben. Oh, yeah, true. We've got a lot to do for Merch Madness. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits.

The New Zealand Herald Daily Quiz. No one has guessed their way through more general knowledge than us three. I tell you what, we've had a good career in this. How long has this been going? Because you just did it once and then we've continued on. It's been, I'd say, many months, isn't it? Over six months? Six months. Yeah, I reckon.

Yeah, it was just after I started, I reckon. Should we do our six-month review? Two, text 4487. Is there still life in this sucker? Have we still got a bit of... I enjoy it. I enjoy it. It's a good way to start our day, to ease into the day.

You learn a lot. I feel like we've learned something. I don't know if it's stuck. That's the problem. You're like, I'll never forget that information. So 4487, you're still on board with the Herald quiz. Just a bit of an open feedback. We'll run that in the background as we do the quiz

this morning. Quiz Queen Ali. Hello. Alrighty. Question number one. For which novel did Cormac McCarthy win the Pulitzer Prize? Pulitzer? Pulitzer, yeah. The Road, All the Pretty Horses, or Blood Meridian?

Why do you have to start with the Pulitzer Prize? What's their name? Cormac McCarthy? Yeah, it is Cormac McCarthy Friday's often Is the easier quiz Yeah this is not is it Do we want to Use our lifeline

Straight away Rather than guessing Yeah maybe I guess we might have to right Yeah 4487 on the text I've got Is there any

Like Roald Dahl I know Roald Dahl You know that one Yeah No it's not A part of this question Unfortunately I honestly feel like

It's the horses one All the pretty horses What's making you say that? I feel like I've heard it before. Let's lock it in. No, no, no, no, no. We're going for the lifeline. I'm going lifeline. Fiona, you absolute hero.

She says the road. And Fiona 100% has never let us down. She is correct. I was feeling the road. Thanks for you. That's what you said, right Megan? Yeah. Question number two. What is the world's largest coral reef system?

Is it Red Sea Coral Reef? It's Great Barrier, isn't it? That is correct, Jono. Well done. Great Barrier. Great Barrier. Alright. Question number three. What desert spans parts of Mongolia and China? Is it the Gobi Desert, the Kalahari Desert, or the Sahara Desert? The Gobi, the Kalahari.

Or the Sahara. So Kalahari, Sahara, they're in Africa. You'd have to go Gobi. Well done, Jono. There we go. Good work. Good process. Good on you, sister.

Nice work. Question four. Question four. What is the name of the galaxy closest to the Milky Way? Is it the Black Eye Galaxy, the Andromeda Galaxy, or Bode's Galaxy? Andromeda? Yeah, that's probably the right saying. Right pronunciation.

That's correct. Oh, that's correct as well. Okay, great. I felt like you were just like, is that what it means? But anyway, Kelly's taken it as an answer. That was your answer. Nice work. Okay, question number five.

What award is given to the top college football player in the US each year? Is it the Vince Lombardi Trophy, the Champ Pickens Cup, the Heisman Trophy? Oh, it's the Heisman. Yeah. You always answer on my table. Lombardi is the Super Bowl, isn't it? Yeah, is it the MVP of the... Yeah, it might be actually, yeah.

What? Yes, it is the Super Bowl. Okay, so go the... That is correct. Well done, Jono. What's the answer Okay so go the That is correct Well done Jono What's the answer It was the Heisman Heisman

Yeah That's Lombardi Is with the Super Bowl I think yeah Is that for the MVP I think it's the MVP Yeah We're still in the game

Alright Gee whiz Where are we five This is number six And I think you'll get This one right Which Hollywood star Has been spotted

Filming in Queensland Brad That is correct Spotted once Never again Reminds me of when You were on the plane With Rihanna of filming in Queensland. Brad. That is correct. Spotted once, never again. It reminds me of when you were on the plane with Rihanna. We can hear you, but we can't see you.

We'll play that audio for you next. I'll find it. All right, let's go. Question to the song, and then we'll come back. So they'll answer this, even if you know. Okay, what is the capital city of Morocco? Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The podcast. The Hits.

You put it out on the text poll, the daily quiz. How is everyone feeling with it? Well, we're six months deep, and we do like to do a bit of a monthly, you know, three-monthly review, don't we, just to see if the interest and passion is still there for the Herald quiz. Just looking at the feed, and we're not just sugarcoating this, some fantastic feedback. Love, love, love the quiz.

Makes my morning. The Hits is now my favourite station. Love the quiz. We go to a quiz every Tuesday night. So here's a love, love, love. I go on a walk every morning and I'm yelling at you a lot, which probably wakes a lot of people up. By the way, Megan, we need to go to Pilates again.

That's a message for you there too. Oh, yeah, I'm down. Someone's saying it should be mixed up with the Guess the Song segment that for you there too. Oh yeah, I'm down. Someone's saying it should be mixed up with the Guess the Song segment that we tried to introduce. Oh, Bandle.

Yeah. That was tough. I loved that. Even when we got 60 musicians in, they were like, this is tough. So that was the game

where you play sort of instruments. You're like the guitar and then the bass. I think the game's got potential. It's just too hard.

Yeah. Anyway, this one, also hard at times. All right, we are on question number seven, and it was, what is the capital city of Morocco? Is it Casablanca, Marrakesh, or Rabat? They all sound great. They all sound Moroccan. They do.

I've always wanted to go to Morocco, and I looked into it one time, and the flights were really expensive. But I remember thinking the big dogs that I knew were not the capital. Kind of like they, in some ways, Wellington is for New Zealand. Yeah.

People go, oh, Auckland, you know. So I was leaning towards Rabat. Rabat? Rabat? Yeah, Rabat. You want to lock that in? That is correct. Wait a second.

Wait a second. I didn't even ask you. No, you're good. You just have to say something, you lock it in, and then you get correct. It's like an auction where you actually need to scratch your nose. It's taken as a bid. All right. Question number eight.

Which gas is known as laughing gas? Nitrous oxide, isn't it? Nice, Jono. Science. Well done. All right. You haven't even had a baby! Go on, that sucker! Alright, question number nine.

Boys Don't Cry, A Forest and Just Like Heaven are songs by which British band? Is it the Depeche Mode? Oh, Depeche Mode. Thank you. Or the Smiths or The Cure? I thought it was going to be Fergie with that. It's Big Girls.

We're looking to Jono for this. Read the titles again, sorry. Boys Don't Cry, A Forest, and Just Like Heaven. So three songs. Are songs by which British band? All bangers though. All great. Yeah.

Memorable songs. We all know and love. I'm thinking Depeche Mode. All right. Lock it in. I thinking Depeche Mode alright lock it in I don't know why just lock it in it could be right what are the other two

there's the Smiths and the Cure I'm gonna go The Smiths that is incorrect oh no it's The Cure someone will be

screaming at us oh Fiona's just texted you I just had a look at the text she said Cure so there you go she knows a lot.

She does. You would have got question 10 as well. What was it? It was what is Harry Potter's owl's name? Would you have got that? It's a hedge word, isn't it? Yeah, head word. Head word.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, nice. Oh, hot luck, guys.