Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL SHOW: Santa's actually quite weird...

Episode Date: September 8, 2024

ON THE SHOW TODAY: We put Megans sports knowledge to the test.. She stole my baby name! Megan handled the scandel! Bree Tomasel cheated in Celebrity Treasure Island! Can you put dog poop in other peoples bins?  Facebook: The Hits Breakfast with Jono and Ben Instagram: THEHITSBREAKFASTSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This John O'Ban podcast brought to you by HelloFresh, the experts in tastes that Kiwis love. Yeah. Hey, but good news, Tasman Marcos made history lifting the Ranfurly Shield for the first time, beating Hawke's Bay. Now this is timely. You are a Nelson gal through and through. I'm from the Tasman. Nelson running through your veins. And on Friday we spoke to Taylor Curtis, who's a former professional rugby player and also now Sky Sports commentator.

And we were talking about this game. She's also from the same place where you grew up. Have a listen. I'm a Tassie girl at heart. I haven't won it since they merged. So, yeah, that's a... I'll tell you what, Megan, you can give your thoughts on the game

because you're obviously going to watch it. On the Tassie Marcos? And Taylor can go, oh, that was good analysis of the game. How's that sound? All right. I hope they win. So that was Friday, okay? Friday on the Sports Report.

Now, we obviously all left Friday going, Megan's going to watch that game. And so what I thought I'd do yesterday is give you a surprise call with Taylor Curtis. Now, this is the morning after the great game, and it was a fantastic game. Tasman, did they win? Yeah. By a point. Great game.

Cliffhanger. Nail biter, not a cliffhanger. It was all resolved in that game. And so we gave you a call mid-afternoon yesterday. You were not expecting this. Was not expecting to hear from Taylor. And she just wanted to have a bit of banter, a bit of post-game banter with you. This is how it played out yesterday afternoon.

Hello? Hey! Hi. Sorry, it's Taylor. How's it going? I just wanted to see if you called the Tassie game. It's coming home! Oh, yeah, I definitely did.

That was insane. Yeah, it was so epic oh my god like so good over the ball all the way over a is so good like how were those trites the last minute of that game I was honestly the seed like yeah yeah me too I was like oh my god what's gonna happen the last minute did you did you think it was gonna like did you think he was gonna get it over um yeah i like i always have faith you know yeah it's pretty long kick though how long was that like oh like so many meters So many metres. All the metres. What do you think of the yellow card? Do you think it was there? I guess so. People know the rules, right?

And if you're going to flout them, then you've got to expect to pay the consequences. Yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah. Megan, you're coming back with some wonderfully generic comments. Who was your favourite player? Who do you think stood out? Just all of the ones that got the tries.

Taylor just wanted a blow-by-blow rundown of what you thought of the game, Megan. No, I thought it was epic. Like, what a good game. So stoked that, you know, they won. Who were they playing again? Red guys. Why did they pick the red team? So the team you support is the red one.

I thought they were blue. Did we win, though? Are you kidding? Yeah. You don't need her blue. Did we win though? Yes. Are you kidding? Yeah. You don't need her to tell you that though, do you Megan? Because you saw it all.

No, I was there. I was there on the edge of my seat. Oh, Taylor, thank you so much. No worries. That was hilarious. Here we go.

That was yesterday afternoon House Sports Reporter Megan Pappas. I tried my best. You did well. You did well. Why are Tassie red? They should be blue.

The Marcos are under the water. The water is blue. Just putting it out there. Listen, that's the only takeaway from this whole thing is why is the team red? Hey, fins up. Congratulations to the Marcos. That's epic. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

Hey, time for Dear Megan. This is a fun part of the show. Dear Megan. Where people slide into part of the show. Dear Megan. Where people slide into Megan Pappas' DMs. Pappas' DMs on social media. We're split in the studio about this one and I tell you what, people on the Facebook page are split about this

so I'd love to know what you think. Oh, 800 the hits. The message reads, Hi Jono, Ben and Megan. My friend isn't talking to me right now and I don't think it's totally fair. I had my first baby recently The message reads, She isn't pregnant yet, but she has told me in the past that she likes it. I didn't ask her or warn her that I was going to use it because I feel like you can't bagsy names. I didn't deliberately try and steal it off her. Like I said, I heard it used in a movie and liked it from that.

But now she isn't talking to me and hasn't even really congratulated me. What do you guys think? I can't change my daughter's name now and I don't want to. You can. You can actually go and do that. That's an option my daughter's name now, and I don't want to. You can. You can actually go and do that. That's an option. That's what I thought when I read that. I was like, well, you can.

Yeah, you definitely can. Let's cancel that part out. So the core issue, her friend's filthy. She's stolen her baby name. Now, the part for me is her friend's not even pregnant. Semantics. It doesn't matter. People have the same names.

Not friends She's like a good friend You're not going to call your baby the same name as your friend Because you're going to hang out all the time I mean the mistake she made was maybe not telling her Not communicating beforehand But what's she guilty of? Getting her eggs fertilised first She's being a bad friend

To me that's bad friend. Stealing a name? I never told anyone my kids' names because I was worried that A, people would steal them, or B, people would be like, that's yuck. Once the kid is born and they have that name, they can't say that anymore. That's like leaving a road cone in a supermarket car park going, I'm going to use this one day, this car park, when I go to the supermarket in two weeks' time. No, but that's one name.

There's thousands of names. She just wanted that one name. And also, I'm just going to put this out there. What if her friend has been trying and struggling, and then you come along and take the one name she had? You could have any name. Well, that's what I'm thinking. Maybe the jealousy is not stemming from name-based jealousy.

Maybe there's other issues that are underlying that she's worried about. But 0800THEHITS, can you steal a baby name? It's just a name. I mean, at the end of the day, they don't have to hang out anymore. Both can have the names and live separate lives. That's bad friend vibes. What do you think? 0800THEHITS, you can text us 4487.

What is the name? Is it from a movie? She didn't say. Yeah, she said it's a girl's name from a a movie? She didn't say. She didn't say. Yeah, she said it's a girl's name from a movie but she didn't specify. Obviously that's going

to out her. Let's just say it was Dominic Toretto, Vin Diesel's character from Fast and Furious. Dominique? Yeah, Dominique or Dom. Yeah.

Yeah. For the sake of this. Oh, 800 the hits. Can you steal a baby name? Are names reserved in friend groups? I think so. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

Keep in the middle of. Dear Megan. Sloppy, sloppy work from me there. On the buttons, Ben's away today. He's at the Aims Games, just Megan and myself. Great Dear Megan today. That has really sparked up the old text and Facebook comment section. I honestly didn't think this would be so divided.

So someone has messaged in and said their friend isn't talking to them right now. They don't think it's fair. So she had her first baby recently. I've called her a name that I saw in a movie, but she goes on to say that she also knows her friend liked this name and she was planning on using it when she had a baby, but she isn't pregnant yet. So the friend has swooped in and taken the name.

Good name, good name. And the friend hasn't really spoken and taken the name. Good name, good name. And the friend hasn't really spoken to her since. Yeah, no. She doesn't want to change the name and she doesn't think that she deserves this kind of treatment. What do you think? Oh, yeah, I'll wait under the hits, 4487. You know what I think. I think a name's a name. Who cares? People can have the same names. It's a good talking point too. If you've got two baby names, same names in the friend circle. So in our friend circle, my daughter's name is Aya, and our friends have an Isla. And only when I say it out loud did I realise how close they were,

but obviously to look at them on paper, they look completely different. Did you get salty? No, no one got salty. No one really said anything. But that's not the same. I get you. Someone messaged on our Facebook saying, I went to school with about five Jasons all about the same age.

She needs to get past it. But the issue is, friends, you're in a friend group, and she's stolen the one name that she likes. But she's got a baby on the way. How about this? I'm spitballing here, getting the juices flowing. She holds on to the name. If she gets pregnant, she's like, okay, I'll change the name then.

Three or four years down the track. Yeah, perfect. Not an issue at all. Just getting the hamster wheels going on that brainstorming session. Let's go to the phones. Who have we got here?

Dee, good morning. Good morning. Where do you sit on this one, Dee? I'm with Megan. Yeah. I think if they're such good mates,

you know, and she already knew about the fact that this friend really liked that name and wanted to have a baby, that name, then she should have actually had the courtesy to just say, hey, look, I really like this name too. I'm having a baby. I'm having a girl. And I'd like to use it. How do you feel? Amen. I get that.

I get the slip up in comms. She should have said something. She should have had a conversation. With you on that one, Dee. Thanks so much for your call. Do appreciate it. Now we've got Alana on. How are you?

Yeah, good morning. Morning. Alana, names. Can you come in and steal a baby name? No. I mean, especially your close mates.

I mean, we named our son Hamish and, you know, chose it carefully, loved it. And then a close friend said oh look we're gonna name our our son same name I went no you can't do that oh you kicked off yeah yeah I was really upset so they named there's some close closely sounding to my son's name Harish so yeah they

went from Hamish to Harish or you could have gone Jamish or something. A sound alike. Oh, that's interesting. They listened to you at least, you know, and asked you. How's your relationship with that person now? Oh, no, it's all good. We still remain friends, but he brings it up now and again. Okay, interesting.

All right, there we go. It's happened firsthand. It does happen. And Tanita. Good morning. Good morning. What do you think about this? Can you steal a friend's baby name?

She hasn't got a baby on the way. She's just bags the name. That's not, that's semantics. I feel like there's information missing in this post. And it almost reads like she's trying to justify it to herself as much to everyone else yeah um you know what what if that baby name did have sentimental family value she is trying for a baby normally i'd say you can't steal a baby name but she's put in there in no uncertain terms that the friend was planning on using the baby name,

which does almost suggest that it's something she's potentially trying for. Yeah, as someone who's had fertility issues, that would be salt in the wound for me. Because if she was trying and then your friend swoops in, what if she finds out she can't have children? Then you've got to remind her every day that you couldn't use that baby name because your friend stole the one thing you wanted. That's the other side of it as well is what if, you know, she claims this baby name and then

she never has a baby. Yeah. You know, she does need to think about that. So I think there was a little bit of communication missing between them. It's one name. There's so many other names. There's some great names out there. She just wanted the one name. Gary. It's your friend. Let her have it. Michelle. They're good names. There's some great names out there. She just wanted the one name. Gary. It's your friend.

Let her have it. Michelle. They're good names. Yeah. Tim. Tino. Communication, again, is the main thing that's missing here. Everyone's like, you should have spoken to her.

Yeah. So what's your feedback to this person? Go and apologise. Well, honestly, it's pretty split everywhere. But I think it's a bad friend move. And I think if you want to keep that friendship, you're probably going to have to have a conversation. Clear the air. Well, this has handled

the scandal. There's been some great scandals throughout history, and I love a good celebrity scandal because it makes me feel better about my bleak existence. That famous, good-looking, rich people can screw up as well. We love bringing celebrities down a peg.

Just admit it. We all enjoy it. I feel like we're due another bloody Will Smith slap or some sort of sex tape or something. We haven't had a good old celebrity sex tape in a while, have we? No. It's kind of frowned upon these days. Yeah. It is a bit of an invasion of privacy, to be honest.

So 30 seconds on the clock, Megan. I'll give you clues. You have to try and figure out what the scandal was. Okay? Your time starts now. 2007, head shaving. Britney Spears. Well done.

He played 18 holes, but also had 15 mistresses in 2009. Tiger Woods. 120 women he slept with. This is 1998. I did not have relations with that. Bill Clinton he slept with. This is 1998. I did not have relations with that. Bill Clinton. Well done. Congratulations.

2007, speaking of which, it was a saucy tape. Harris Hilton? No. Kim Kardashian. Congratulations. This is performance enhancing drugs. All seven titles were stripped from him. Lance.

Well done. Mike, you're going to give me Lance. We've got five from five. 2009 MTV Awards, what was the last one? Storm the Stage. Kanye and Taylor. Yeah, Taylor Swift. Well done. You got 100% on that.

First time ever. Oh, you got some juicies. Handle the scandal. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Games, games. Competing, too. He's not actually there as a spectator. He's competing at the Ames.

Is he actually? Yeah, showing those intermediate kids how it's done, mate. Is he? No. There's 11 and 12-year-olds. I know. I was like, that's not fair. He's there as a parental.

I mean, he's not a great sporting athlete. I always would love to do that, is to go and enter a child's, you know, something competition and just... Blitz the field. You'd hope you would, but you probably won't, to be honest. Have you seen how fast they run? They don't have all of this to carry. I know, too much stamina.

They've got their whole life ahead of them. He will be back tomorrow. Yeah, well, he's actually just watching his daughter play netball. He wouldn't have been to Ames. There's no reason why you would have been to Ames games. No, and I must have just missed it at my age when I was younger. Fantastic week. Well, kids from all over the country, some from Australia. Oh, really? Yeah, it's a big deal. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, it's happening in Mount Maunganui in Tauranga this week. Oh, well, good luck

if you're competing. Yeah, and good luck if you're a local navigating the traffic. It's a nightmare. Christmas has kind of begun in our household. I know this is going to get people's goat up. It's the start of September. Yeah, I'm just going to Google how many days till Christmas. Thank you. I put my Christmas tree up on the 1st of November. So right after Halloween.

107 days. 107 days out, you're already thinking about Christmas. We're still triple figures. This is something we do every year, but I didn't realise that you could book it already. So we have booked our Santa photo. Oh. You froth Christmas, don't you?

I froth it. Does it look like Santa Claus has vomited over your house at Christmas time? It's all very tasteful. No, I've always wanted to do the lights outside, but the kids are still young and I've just never had the time or the energy. One day, I will be that person that has the music-themed lights. Everyone will come to look at your house. You want to be that person. One day day i will be that person that has like the music themed everyone will come to look at your house you want to be that person one day i'll be that person but that seems like so much administration i do appreciate the people that do go to the trouble but then you know come january you got to pack it down yeah we had a friend who just left them on there the

whole time uh so 107 days out i've booked it because uh we're doing it at Smith & Coie, which is, apparently, this is their last year. In the grotto. In the grotto. You're going in the grotto, yeah. So I'm not the only one. You'll be pleased to know there was lots of slots booked out. Do you sit on Santa's knee or do you put the kids on it? No, you're not allowed to anymore.

The kids don't sit on Santa's knee. Oh, does Sandra even have to ask for consent? Yeah. Right. Yeah. My kids have always been pretty scared of Santa too. Yeah, I mean, he's a frightening figure. My first Santa pic, we still had masks on.

Santa had a red mask. It was in COVID. We weren't allowed to like, there was a screen in between us. Yeah. First impressions last too, don't they? Yeah. So that'll sit with the kids. And you know, you spend your whole time, stay away from strangers.

Don't talk to strangers. However, this one time of year you can sit on this dude's knee. So that'll sit with the kids And you know You spend your whole time Stay away from strangers Don't talk to strangers However This one time of year You can sit on this dude's knee And also like No one's dressed like him In their everyday life Suddenly there's this guy

In a velour red suit And you're like Sit on him We're very hypocritical Couple of those Peak moments throughout the year Halloween Another one

Don't take lollies from strangers However This one night Walk into strangers' houses Ask them for lollies from strangers. However, there's one night, walk into strangers' houses. Ask them for lollies. Go out on the door and take all the lollies you want. Go by yourself. It's very true.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Tonight, Celebrity Treasure Island is back for its season. Its millionth season. And we're joined right now by the host, Brie Thomas-El. Good morning. G'day, guys. Thanks for having me on. Oh, it's good to have you on.

Have we ever had you on before, Bree? No, so I think we should make this a more regular occurrence. Well, let's just hear the next three minutes play out. Let's not start putting calendar invites just yet, mate. Because you've been doing such a great job hosting the show for many years, such a huge popular show, but what's the most common question you get asked about the show? No doubt about it. Most common question I would say is, do they actually eat rice and beans and do they actually sleep outside? My answer to that is yes,

we punish the celebrities as much as we can. I spoke to Manny McLean, who we obviously work with on the Drive show. He came back and he was like, I got so skinny, I loved it. But he legit ate rice and beans. And then he tried to carry on the rice and beans diet, but it just didn't happen for him. Yeah, I heard his partner Ryan said that his farts were too bad, so he had to start eating normal food again. Do you feel bad as the host?

Because obviously you're not out there in the trenches eating rice and beans. You probably go back to, I imagine, some adequate accommodation at the end of the day's filming is there any part of you that feels bad brie no no i do feel bad because it kind of becomes a thing I feel like every season where I'll turn up before the cameras are rolling and the contestants will always be like, what did you eat last night?

Let us live vicariously through you. And I do feel a bit bad when I describe my roast dinner, savion blanc, and they get a bit upset. Are you ever tempted to bring a croissant from breakfast and eat it in front of them? Just finishing off my rookie. Look, I really shouldn't be saying this, but there was one point on this actual season of the show,

because you know how I do the reveal of the reward that they're going to get for winning the challenge? One of the rewards had Cheerios in the reward. I may have. Oh, I really shouldn't be saying this, I may have slipped a cheerio into one of the contestants' pockets when the cameras weren't working. Oh! A sneaky cheerio.

Favoritism. Who was it? Oh, I can't say, but let's, well, maybe you'll be able to pick it because let's just say they ended up using it as bait and they caught maybe some fish. Oh! In any other setting, if someone had slipped a cherry into your pocket,

you'd be very unsettled. I tried that at the supermarket the other day, got kicked out. Don't do this at home, guys. Now, because you've got a great line-up, Duncan Garner is, you know, journalist Duncan Garner. Christian Cullen, all black. Suzanne Paul. So many great line-up. Duncan Garner is journalist Duncan Garner. Christian Cullen, All Black. Suzanne Paul. So many great line-ups. Are you surprised by the

people that just go on the show? Yeah, I'm surprised at the people we can trick to still come on this show. And then I am not surprised because I feel like some of the people that come on the show need it. And I feel like in this season especially

and I'm not going to say who but you see people have like almost a life-changing experience you think about it there's no other time in people's lives well normal that you are shut off completely from the outside world and you're just you know you completely switch off no phone just you and you're out there playing this game living on the land and I really do feel like there's a lot of people where it changes them going on this show over all of the seasons who has been your favorite contestant holy moly they're all like my, I feel like my absolute all-time favourite, I feel like I have to have a couple of answers. I have to say Lance Savali is one because he's co-hosting with me this season.

He's one of the best people to ever play the game, in my opinion. So having him there as co-host was really cool. But one of my all-time faves and someone who I'm still really good friends with is Susan Devoy. I mean, what a legend. Dame Susie. Dame Susie D. Now, you did mention Lance Savali, new host this season. On to your

third co-host, Bree. Who's the problem here? Guys, I turned through them. They're all like your children. Jono, Ben, Megan, who wants to come on next? Bree, thanks for the hits. The Jono and Ben Podcast. They're all like your children John O'Ben Megan You know what Come on next

The hits The John O'Ben podcast Yesterday afternoon I was just sitting in the car Waiting for my daughter To come out of Dance recital That's what I do

Is I just sit in cars Waiting for kids To emerge from Either dance recitals Or basketball practices You don't go in For the dance recital No

Well no I don't want to Cramp her style No She's at that age Where she's like No don't go in for the dance recital? No. Well, no. I don't want to cramp her style. She's at that age where she's like, no, don't come in. I'm sorry. I know. You're not at that age. They want you there.

Yeah. Eventually they don't. I've had lots of warnings about that where they're like, they'll be embarrassed of you soon. Yeah. I'm in that period now. But that's all right. I just sit in the car and look like a pervert on my laptop.

Log on to my old personal hotspot. Do you know, I was actually outside Ben's house one day, and I was just clearing some emails, waiting for him to come out, and his neighbor came up, and he's like, what are you looking at there, mate? And I was like, oh, just put Gmail. He knocked on the window. Oh, weird.

He's like, you want to know some good websites? I was like, oh, no, I'm fine, thank you. I'm in my car out in a suburban area. Lovely offer, though. Lovely offer. You never know when you want to know some good websites? I was like, oh, no, I'm fine, fine, thank you. I'm in my car out in a suburban area. Lovely offer, though. Lovely offer. You never know when you want some good websites. Yeah. So, yes, waiting for Poppy to emerge.

And across the road, I see a well-known figure. Now, I'm not going to name them because I've said, you know, I've done enough shabby stuff over the years in public that I wouldn't want to be named in shame for this. But, yeah, this person had their dog. Yeah. They had the this person had their dog. Yeah. They had the dog deposits in a bag. Obviously, the dog had the bodily functions had followed through and they were looking left, right, left, right, making sure the coast was clear.

Yeah. I had nothing else to do apart from stare at them. And then they lifted up someone's bin. Someone's recycling bin. The general waste bin. Oh, it was someone's recycling bin, the general waste bin. Oh, it was a waste bin. Yeah, general waste bin and slipped it in the bin

and carried on their way. I could feel the shame. I could see the shame on their face, the guilt. And I was like, can you actually dump, can you dump your dogs? Your dogs do in another person's bin.

I wanted to name the person because I don't think it's that bad. Yeah. No, but I wouldn't. They want to be. They're so ashamed of it, I could tell. They want to be named publicly. I'm not sure if I've done it, but I'm not opposed to doing it.

Would you do it? If I had my waste bin out there and it wasn't chocolate bar, I would be fine with people putting doggy doo-doo bags in my rubbish. To be fair to them, it was rubbish day. The trucks were coming. So here's the disclaimers. It can't be overfilled so that the poo bag's hanging out, and it can't be emptied.

Don't put it in my empty bin, but if it's full and it's about to be picked up, have that. Okay, I'll wait 100 of the hits. Do it. I'll wait 100 of the hits. Can you dump your dog's waste in a general waste bin that's not your own? Not the recycling. We all agree there.

The council owns those. It's not actually yours. The rubbish bin. Yeah, the council's property. Yeah. But you never want to be caught. That's the problem. You don't want to be caught doing it.

And some people, I know some people get upset about it. I'm not sure why. Because I've put all that stuff out there to be thrown out. I'm not taking it back. Text 4487. Text 4487. We're going to open this poll early this morning for the 6 o'clock club. I once got caught dumping rubbish in a big skip bin by the shop owner.

Okay, no, that's not okay. She came out and she's like, this is worse than dumping animals. And I was just in one of those moods. And I was like, is it? That was the wrong thing to say in the moment. She was trying to make a point and I should have just shut up. Should have just let it. Shut it back down.

But 0800, that's 4487. Can you dump your dog's waste in another person's bin? Is it okay? In a bag, in a doggy bag. In a little bag, right? I'm saying no. I'm saying that's a no-go zone, Megan. I'm saying it's all good.

The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. Well, there's a little bit of judgment actually from me. Can you dump your dog's waste in another person's general waste bin? Not recycling. Yeah. Saw it happen yesterday with a well-known figure in the media landscape. But you're saying it was like rubbish day and the rubbish was full.

Don't do it in an empty bin, but I think that's fine. Yeah, they didn't. I could tell they knew though. They knew what they were doing was wrong. You could see. Why were they looking left, right, checking no one was there? The whole time, old beady eyes are sitting in his car across the road. I see it all.

You're lucky they didn't catch you staring at them. Yeah, I should have filmed. You know how they film it on social media. You put it on social. But yeah, 0800, that's telephone number 4487. Can you dump in another person's bin? Carla! Yeah, hi.

Okay, dumping the dog matter. What do you say? Not a problem, especially on rubbish day. Yeah, I agree. Someone texted and said it's totally fine, better than those people who'd leave their poos on the sidewalk for you to stand in. Exactly, and I've done that plenty of times. Yeah.

What do you mean? Left it or stood in it? Definitely just stood in it. Yeah. Do you have a dog yourself? No, we've just brought a house and we're about to get one eventually, but it's fine and I'm dying to know who the celebrity is. I can't, I don't want to shame them because I can tell they are so embarrassed by it. You know, they have the guilt of their face of dumping a body.

You're going to have a great one, all right? Thank you so much for calling through. Yeah, let's get Maddie on. Yes or no to dumping dog stuff in another person's bin? Well, I've got a slightly different question for you, Jono. Uh-oh. If I was walking past your house and my dog did his poo on your front lawn

and I picked it up, do you want me to dump it in your bin or leave it on your lawn? Well, I'd say why don't you pick it up and take it with you? Yeah. Is that an option, the third one? But I'm walking for another three, four, five kilometres.

Am I going to carry it with me? I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. No. Chuck it in someone else's bin. No, I get your point. I get your point.

And particularly when you factor in it was rubbish collection day, the bin was full. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I might put a note on my rubbish bin and just be like, yo, if this is full, chuck your poos in here. Okay, you're an open. In a bag.

And not human. I mean doggy. Like, just a few disclaimers. It's going to be a long note. Yeah. Alright, thanks so much for your call. Go and have a great... So you have dumped in another person's bin? Yes, when it's been full, not emptied. Okay, what if you get caught though? Like, it's fine

to do it when no one's watching, but if someone calls you out? I would just say that I'd rather put it in their bin than leave it on their lawn. You don't offer up the third option of, keep walking with it. Take it away. Shoot. Have you walked around with a dog?

I have, yeah, that's gross, it's a worm. So demoralising. It is, yeah. Even the dog's like, what are you doing, mate? Get rid of it. You're going to have a great day, appreciate it, Maddie. You too. Thanks. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

Jono and Megan this morning. Happy Monday morning. Internet outrage. Yeah, it's easily the most offensive and easily the most offended environment in the world, isn't it? So it's an interesting ecosystem, the old internet. I actually just find it interesting when people post, what do you think on the internet? I'm like, don't, don't. Because someone will always be outraged. It doesn't matter what it is. the old internet. I actually just find it interesting when people post, what do you think on the internet? I'm like, don't, don't.

Because someone will always be outraged. It doesn't matter what it is. You know what I love is when we get a sort of a social outrage in terms of, you know, something's happening on the other side of the world and you can change your filter on your Instagram profile and look like a legend. Look like you're doing God's work. That's the best kind of, best use of the internet. You're definitely doing something for the world like you're doing God's work. That's the best kind of bestness of the internet. You're definitely doing something for the world when you're posting. I think I've been guilty of putting some filter on or something,

raising money for some starving. You put a frame around your profile picture. So I mean, hey, it's got good points and bad points to the internet, but easily outraged. So we pluck headlines. You read the headline. We try and figure out what the outrage is. All right. Easily outraged. So we pluck headlines. You read the headline. We try and figure out what the outrage is.

All right. My one this morning is, kindy teacher banned son from eating breakfast. The kindergarten teacher has. Kindy teacher banned her son from eating breakfast. Well, the internet outraged because she's starving her child. Was that the source of the outrage? The source of the outrage was what was in the breakfast. Also, so I don't know why the kids going, this is in Germany,

they must go really early to school. So the teacher, when the kid got to school, banned them from eating the lunch because she said it was unhealthy. It was a croissant, a croissant. There was apple slices, freeze-dried banana chips, and sunflower seeds. The internet is outraged that that would be considered unhealthy.

Oh, so the teacher said you can't eat that. Yeah, and so the kid didn't eat. She picked the kid up and it was starving. I'm outraged. Also, like, I dread making a school lunch because it's that unhealthy. I'm outraged that the kid's eating sunflower seeds.

And croissants. What a nightmare. What happened to a pack of Bluebird chips? What are you like? Do you do your kids' school lunches? Oh, no. I always say on the radio that I have a part in it, and it winds Jen, my wife, up.

She's like, you don't do anything for the school. I literally just chuck a couple of muesli bars in there the night before. You're not really there at the time. No. I just feel like I'm contributing something by slipping a muesli bars in there the night before. You're not really there at the time. No, I just feel like I'm contributing something by slipping a muesli bar in there. But no, honestly, I've said it before, the Marmite sandwich. The most travelled sandwich in the country. It goes to school with Poppy every day, comes home around about four o'clock. I eat it.

Do you ever get sick of the Marmite sandwich? No, I love it every day. I'm looking forward to it. The odd occasion it's not there because she swapped it for something else in the schoolyard. It makes me very sad. It's slightly soggy, bent, dented, flattened from the other day's travels. It's well-travelled. Yeah, you can taste.

You could just leave it out and make yourself a Marmite sandwich when you get home. Amen. It's a possibility. But it tastes different. You can feel the kilometres as you eat it. This is outrage over an accent. Why would the internet be outraged over an accent? Someone putting on an accent?

You don't want to do that. You're in the ballpark. You're in the ballpark. So there's this lady, Sarah Colwell. She's one of 20 people worldwide who suffers from foreign accent syndrome. So she's a British. Now bear this in mind, she's a British lady. She's had a medical event and she's woken up with this accent.

My name is Sarah Colwell. I am 40 years old. I live in Plymouth. Born and bred here in Plymouth. About five years ago now I had a stroke like event. There's still some question as to whether it was a severe migraine or an actual stroke event. So there she's had a stroke or they don't know what it is the experts but she's woken up with Ben Boyce's worst nightmare.

Putting on an accent. She's putting on an accent. Well, she's not putting it on. Her brain's obviously something's happened. Yeah, she's not having a laugh. Like this is how she talks all the time now. And it has happened worldwide. There's been a guy who's woken up with a,

I'd love to wake up with an Italian accent. Out of all the accents where you're like, Hey, ciao, mamma mia, that would be a fun one to play with. You wouldn't want to wake up with the New Zealand one. You're like, oh, jeez, of all the ones on the smorgasbord of accents, got the missionary of accents. Yeah, so there's a bit of outrage over that. Well, she gets outraged every day because people think she's putting it on. That's not ideal. I've heard of people who go in for surgery and come out with an accent yeah russian accent or something

rewired the brain the hits the jonah and ben podcast bad news for hay fever sufferers this spring this is me too uh really bad this spring apparently you do get a little wheezy and uh don't you at times it's my asthma on steroids. Are you on steroids at the moment? No. You said recently, I've never known you not to be sick. I'm not sick. I'm on no medication. It's been a good couple of weeks for you.

Yeah. Knock on wood. I'm all good at the moment. But yeah, apparently it's going to be a bad spring for hay fever sufferers. Are you on the old Loraclare antihistamine? Loraclare something.istamine? Laura something. Every day. No, I lie.

I don't want medication. I take antihistamines every day. Oh, do you take them every day? Yeah. So what happens when you... I get like itchy, watery eyes and my throat gets itchy and sneezy. Is it pollen?

Yeah. So now it's a nightmare, is it? It's pollen floating around everywhere. Yeah. What does the air con do in here with the old Legionnaire's disease Yeah. So now it's a nightmare, is it? It's a nightmare. Pollen floating around everywhere. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What is the air con doing here with the old Legionnaire's disease that's pumping straight into the studio? Does that ruin you? Oh, no, I'm fine with that.

Yeah. I'm all good with whatever's coming out of that. There is calls for Sir Ian McKellen to give back his knighthood. Oh, I heard him bagging on the Queen. So I don't know that everyone here would deny what he's saying. I don't want to speak ill of the queen, but he called her quite mad and rude. He also said that Prince Harry was dim.

But now people are very up in arms. Obviously in England, everyone loves the queen, loves the royal family, and they've said he needs to give back his knighthood. Because that's given to you by the Queen, right? Was it a snippet from an interview that's been completely taken out of context? Because I know it's so easy to stand here and judge after we just read a headline. We do it all the time.

Was anything taken out of context here? I don't think so. But other people have said he fell over, like he fell on stage in June, and so people have said, let's remember that this is an elderly man who's had a nasty fall recently, so maybe we need to... 85 years old. Bit of leeway.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, you're going to Christmas, right, and your 85 year old grandad says some things, and you kind of just laugh it off. Yeah, he said she was mad towards the end she was uh going bonkers but then you do go bonkers towards the end right that's part of uh that's the fun part of getting old and also like we don't know i wasn't having an audience with the queen every week like was he meeting her that might be his you know that might be his

experience maybe the queen was a bit mad at the end. I know her husband, he was a battler, wasn't he? Philip. Oh, he was the 85-year-old man who was saying some things. Yeah, he was wild towards the end, wasn't he? And he was driving without a licence and he was doing all sorts. There was racist comments, right? Was there a few racist comments in his time?

Yeah, there was racist. Yeah, he'd said some racist stuff in his time, yeah. Yeah, and he still managed to be a prince. Plus he's Prince Andrew. He manages to still be a prince. So would you say Ian McKellen needs to give back his knighthood? No, I think he's okay. Celebrity Treasure Island is back with a whole new set of celebrities

eating rice and beans, trying to win. It's $100,000, right, for their favourite charity. It's a lot of money. What if they're voting for your favourite charities yourself? Does anyone ever come on to the show and be like, you know what, no one deserves money more than I do. You know, all the sick, starving people

out there. I think it's frowned upon. Yeah, probably would be. We spoke to Bree Thomas, our host of Celebrity Treasure Island, and yes, the contestants are starving. They live off the smell of rice and beans. She confirmed that's what they eat, unless they win more food. And she hadn't told the producers this, but she actually cheated. Have a listen to what she did.

I may have. Oh, I really shouldn't be saying this. I may have slipped a Cheerio into one of the contestants' pockets when the cameras weren't working. In any other setting, if someone had slipped a Cheerio cherry into your pocket you'd be very unsettled i tried that at the supermarket the other day i got kicked out don't do this at home guys slipping a saucy uh into one of the pockets that'd be that'd be the mad butcher's dream wouldn't it he puts his hand in one of his pockets find some leftover sausage most people

are happy when they get five bucks in a pocket but then it plays sausage meat riddled throughout the butcher's pants. I love a Cheerio too. But it got me thinking on like when you've cheated in life, not on your partner or anything, but just in life. And there's one time that sticks out in my mind. Even now I remember this. I was 10 years old and I was at Intermediate.

It must have been right before Mother's Day. And they were like, write your mum a poem. I'm 10. And I really fancied myself at being like kind of you know a poetic chick being really good at English and I left it to the last minute it got to Friday I hadn't done it so I ended up finding this it was like a little framed thing in my mum's house it was a poem that was framed and I was like no one knows this poem I'm gonna write it down and claim it as my own hold on this was a poem for your mother yeah so you're plagiarizing work that was already hanging on a

on a yeah but mum wasn't gonna be at school she already had it at home sure but she wasn't gonna be at school when I recited this for my mum oh I see so she was never gonna get this okay right nah so I was like left it to the last minute wrote down this poem that was on my mum's wall in a frame and went to school. And I read, I still remember this poem. This is what it was. It's a 10 year old. Who's the original artist? Maureen Hathaway. Maureen, okay.

God sent the moon, God sent the birds and sunshine to gladden all the world. He sent the foliage and the flowers and radiance unfurled i'm 10 this is not yeah if i'm the teacher i'm picking i'm picking this is pre-chat gpt stuff i'm already know this is stolen he sent the june the stars the moon the pearly dewdrop sweet and then he sent you mother dear to make it all complete. And as a 10-year-old... Is the teacher like, what is this, the 1920s? So the teacher pulled me aside and was like, you didn't write that. I was like, yes, I did. I absolutely, I doubled down and then she called my mum

and mum's like, no, she... Sounds very familiar. I think I'm looking at it dangling off the wall at the moment. It's framed on my wall. She didn't write it. But nice to know my daughter's put in time and effort to write me something original. That is, yeah, because it wouldn't have stacked up

next to the other ones. Everyone would be like, mum, mum, I love you, mum. I love it when you make hot cross buns, you know, stuff like that. And you come out with this piece of. Your pearly dewdrops swing. Yeah, okay. 0800 the hits.

When have you cheated in life? I'll have to tell you how I cheated, and you know how they do the no drinking months. Oh. Tell you how, okay. 0800 The Hits. When have you cheated in life? I'll have to tell you how I cheated, and you know how they do the no drinking months? Oh. Tell you how, yeah. Surely lots of people do that. Yeah, I'll tell you about that. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. What have you cheated on in life?

Megan just admitted to plagiarising a poem when she was age 10. I know Ben actually is not here today, but he would say that he once cheated in a colouring competition, a pack and save colouring competition. How old was he? He was 11, but he may have entered the under eight age cat blitz the competition. How do they know though? They don't. He took that pack and save voucher and slept with the guilt.

Wow. Yeah, I remember they sometimes in this job, they're like, can you be an ambassador for this? And honestly, i couldn't you couldn't find a worse ambassador than me i've just got no sticking power no credibility just i can't believe you're going to admit this but there was one that was i can't remember you know if you go through the entire there's always a month assigned to being sober or being something there's something and it was one of these months they're like we like, we're doing this for charity. And it's like, can you not drink for months? I'm like, yeah, I can do that.

That sounds like something I can do. First weekend, I'm like, this is hell. And then I found a loophole. What's a loophole? That you could pay every time you drink. You just paid fines. And that went to the charity. Oh, amazing.

So I didn't have to. So it was guilt free. Guilt free. Was I sober from it? No. Were you broke by the end of it? Yes. But it all went to charity and that is the main thing. Chloe, good morning. How are you? Are you doing all right? Good morning. How are you? What have you cheated on in life, Chloe? Well, let's just say that my cheating backfired. So in intermediate, we had detention classes, and you go and you sit and you write lines all break. Yeah.

Well, I'd had about half of my diary full with detentions already, and you're supposed to have them signed off by your parent. Well, let's just say my mum wasn't happy I'd had a few detentions, and I didn't want her knowing about it. So I forged her signature for the rest of my detentions and when I went into that detention room, they

said, your mum didn't write this. I said, yes she did and they could tell it didn't look the same and they said, well, tell me the truth. Did you write it? And I said yes and they gave me more detentions, and then I had to get my mum to sign it off. Jeez, you must have been a shambles at school.

What were you doing? No, I just used to talk to all my friends all the time, because I'm ADHD, my brain is all the time. You're a chatter. You're a socialiser. We hear that. Yeah. Yeah.

And so, let's just say it got me in trouble a bit. Good on you, mate. You have a great day Chloe Yeah you too Appreciate that Text here 4487 I cheated on the 40 hour famine

Now the kids That you're raising money for On the 40 hour famine Are like Can you just do 40 hours You're jacked up On barley sugars Yeah and you're allowed

To eat barley sugars Just juices Stick it Can you not eat For a couple of days Well thank you very much For your calls and texts