Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL SHOW: Sister on a honeymoon?!

Episode Date: April 28, 2024

ON THE SHOW TODAY Producer Tayla has a clothing line? 50 fake heart attacks! Scotty Stevensons new project Is Baby Reindear worth the hype? Ben handles the scandal Jono and a balaclava... It's time to celebrate! Check us out! Facebook: The Hits Breakfast with Jono and Ben Instagram: TheHitsBreakfastSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Thanks to Challenge, putting the service back into service stations. So we're back, well Megan Pappas not back this morning, she's away. Yeah, sent a WhatsApp message, 1.36am, come down with some gastro. Yeah. Then I replied to her at 1.36am, she said, what the hell are you doing awake? I'm very leaky, very leaky overnight. Right. One of my multiple trips to the toilet.

Time to, Speaking of sleep Producer Taylor No sleep last night Oh no sleep last night Absolutely no sleep Oh You'll notice A very somber

Quiet Version of Taylor Montoya This morning Also you shouldn't Check your phone When you go to the toilet You're not the boss of me

I'll check my phone When I want to check my phone The blue light Is it blue Blue light's not good Oh right Well that'll wake check my phone when I want to check my phone. The blue light. Is it blue? Blue light's not good. Oh, right. Well, that'll wake you up, will it?

Yeah. Do you want to join my club right now, mate? It does not feel good. I know, you poor thing. Only an hour's sleep. Jeez, really? Oh, that's no good.

What happened? You started thinking too much? Yeah, so, you know, I tried to get to bed by nine o'clock. That's my normal routine. And just tossing and turning and then the more you do it, the worse it becomes. And then it's almost like your and just tossing and turning and then the the more you do it the

worse it becomes and then it's almost like your mind does the opposite and it's like oh i'm so awake now yeah sometimes you're just like i've just got to get up now yeah exactly otherwise you're wasting your time trying to sleep yeah i woke up at like by two o'clock i just turned the tv on oh fair enough i'm not gonna find it anymore it was nice having a couple of days last week we for once we were one of these smart people that took Friday off. Yeah. Tell me we don't do that. My wife came into work Friday and she said it was like lockdown, COVID. No one on the roads driving into work Friday morning. It was a ghost town. It was like we had three Friday nights last week. It was like Wednesday, Thursday and Friday all felt like Friday nights. Yeah,

wonderful for time off. Terrible for my alcohol consumption and my diet as well. Shocking four days. We did head along to the Warriors game, and I know you were there as well, Producer Taylor. You might have missed this. It was actually a really special occasion because it was Anzac Day. There was lovely tributes at the start of the game. Oh, the Air Force helicopter delivered the game ball.

That was, jeez, I tell you, that's some high-pressure helicoptering, isn't it, when you're in the middle of a stadium? Over 20,000 people. I wouldn't trust myself. They did great. Mainly because I don't know how to fly a helicopter. They had the last post as well, which was really cool. But I don't know if you saw it at halftime.

Unusual entertainment, I thought, for the Warriors. You've been to more games than I have. An attack dog. Did you see that? Or were you busy at that time? Yeah, no, I don't even know where I was at halftime. You didn't see that? It was like a frothing-at-the-mouth German Shepherd attack dog, ready to pounce, like, came out on its owner.

The trainer was holding him. He's, like, almost ripping the lead off the owner's hand. Oh, wow. And the guy was in one of those suits that you know, okay, he's going to get done, like a red suit. He sort of started running. But I was like, well, the dog did attack him, which he was meant to do, but the dog could have gone anywhere, really. Yeah, it's going to get done, like a red suit. He sort of started running. But I was like, well, the dog did attack him, which he was meant to do,

but the dog could have gone anywhere, really. Yeah, it's a big fail. We should get him for the mascot race next year. That's what I think. Like, a hundred metre race. Why don't we get a whole lot of listeners? A hundred metres, everyone in suits. If you get attacked, you get attacked,

but you also win the money. Yeah. If the dog chooses someone to attack, you get $1,000. Yeah. What do you reckon? We'll put a little twist on that man i'm happy to organize that that dog was quick too that guy started running he had him within five meters was eating his arm and it was yeah turn away kids turn away the same thing happened in um uh in dunedin over the weekend they did also

did an attack dog did they halftime thing as well and i thought it was great entertainment is that like a thing to all the students in Dunedin look this could be you if you run on the field maybe maybe it's a great

idea maybe one of us should do an attack dog this week dress up as a thing should we organise that should I bring

Louie in yeah Louie's your dog Louie's like the attack dog the hits the Jono and Ben podcast now overseas

there's a guy who a 50 yearyear-old, who's been trying to get out of paying restaurant bills, and he's apparently done it over 20 times, where he's been asked to pay, and then he's faked a heart attack. Oh, at the counter. At the counter.

Oh, this is probably the greatest restaurant counter play behind Ben Boyce when it says, would you like to offer a tip on the Air Force terminal? Him pretending he's accidentally hit no, and he's gone, oh, no, I pushed no. What do I do? And they're like, don't worry about it, mate. That's an awkward moment, eh? We've seen this performance 10 times tonight already. I've got, no, yeah.

Oh, can you go back? No, don't worry about it. You've done what you've done. There probably is a way to go back. They'll probably be like, oh, yeah, I'll redo it again. And then you'll be like, oh. I'd love one night someone's like yeah okay we'll start this whole transition again yeah so this guy he would pose as a russian tourist even though he's not from russia as well he's from lithuania but he poses a russian tourist quite a rich tourist wearing some

fancy clothes buy an expensive meal wherever he would go and then whenever he'd been asked to pay the bill or towards the end of the night he'd fake a heart attack and the hope that he'd get out i would just be stressing the whole time about my heart attack performance yeah wouldn't you yeah and he's putting on a russian voice too the restaurant in spain where they got him said he was quite theatrical like he went over the top just a little bit uh they kind of went oh is Oh, that seemed a little over the top. That takes nuts too, calling out a fake heart attack. Yeah. He's faking it. You're a monster.

How could you say this guy's rolling around on the ground? Yeah. It's fake. It's fake. Leave him. He'll be fine. Yeah, you're right, actually. You've got to have some confidence in your decision.

Performance. But, you know, I get it. I get it. I get it. It's worth a shot. It's always awkward, the bill-paying exercise. Wouldn't you have to pay for the ambulance that takes him to hospital oh yeah i mean you definitely do in new zealand right maybe it's different overseas or maybe he gets out before the uh paramedics i don't know yeah maybe he gets wheeled out in the gurney and

he's like oh actually i'm fine now walk up walk off thank you whatever you did has saved me so that is that's a wonderful restaurant hack. Text 4487. Have you got any better ones? Ben always has a crack at me for ordering too many beers and then splitting the bill at the end of the night

and a giant steak. It does get awkward. I went and caught up with a whole lot of mates for a few hours actually over the weekend and you know, I'd go pay for your jugs

at the bar for everyone. You'd get those and then at the end they were like, there's a tab. I was like, who started a tab? You know, and something, who's chucking a tab? I've been pay for your jugs at the bar for everyone. You'd get those. And then at the end, they were like, there's a tab. I was like, who started a tab? You know, and something, who's checking the tab? I've been paying for things.

And then at the end, you're like, oh, am I part of this? Or am I part of, you know, like, it's just an awkward situation. The old round buying really kicks into gear, doesn't it? Yeah. We had that scenario in Christchurch. Yeah. We're sitting with Chris Mack from 660. He loves the Guinness.

He does. And we started the round system as well. then uh lunch started coming into the mix yeah you throw food into them and no i know it's very confusing i did start the tab by the way what's that i don't know but in the year we all split the tab and i was like well but i've been anyway yeah tell you what i love these days is the qr code have you ever that situation you know you can go along you just scan your file you pay for the thing you bring it out and you've already paid for it it's all good sort it what what do you do there's qr codes on the table heaps of restaurants happen all the time so you just take a photo of it all of a sudden you can order from

your phone pay for it straight away done oh and so no one and you're not and then you're like you want some drinks you mean qr code away that's's right there, mate. That's right. You don't even have to walk up? That's right. Don't have to go the awkward bit at the end of the night. We've got it all sorted. We're doing as we go. But QR codes really change the game, isn't it? Yeah.

Yeah. It took me a while to get my head around what exactly it was, but boy, oh boy, it's helpful. Scotty Stevenson, good morning and welcome. Good morning, Jono. Thanks for having me. Nice to have you here, that's a really cool project that you're doing at the moment that people can watch on TVNZ and TVNZ On Demand and then also TVNZ Plus, sorry

and then also here as well as a podcast Yeah that's right, it's called The Upside and it's brought to you by AIA Vitality AIA is of course New Zealand's biggest health insurer and AIA Vitality is a program they run around sort of physical and mental well-being. And the upside's really about talking to pretty famous New Zealanders, really high-profile New Zealanders about struggles they might have been through and dealt with

and how they came out the other side. I've known you for many years, but I remember back in the day you used to work at a bar and you were like the most personable person there. You made everyone feel so welcome. Well, you were drunk. It was easy. You were so cool on the way home from work at the night show. No, I did.

I used to run bars. But you did. You were so good with people. You are so good with people. Can you still sling a cocktail? I can still make a cocktail, John. What was your specialty? I ran a bar called Lime Bar many, many years ago.

We're going back almost 25 years. And, of course, when we opened that bar, it coincided with the popularity of sex in the city. So I made more Cosmopolitans than you can shake a stick at. And I remember I still have the recipe in my head. It was, you know, your Cointreau. We used absolute vodka. We used absolute citron vodka, Cointreau, cranberry juice,

a dash of lime juice, and away you went. Shake that up, pour it in a cocktail glass. They went down in about two seconds, make another one. You brought that great talking to this new podcast and series as well. Talking to some amazing, amazing people, New Zealanders as well. Might just throw some names at some of the people that you're talking about. Jason Gunn. Oh, Jason Gunn.

Well, legend, we went to something the other day. We were emceeing something, and Jason was the after-dinner speaker. Spoke for an hour. An hour's a long time by himself. He's incredible. He is an incredible man. And we had a lovely conversation. Just to paint a picture for the listeners out there,

the upside was it was a conversation. And we filmed in a studio. It was a very dark studio, just two chairs. And so there was a genuine intimacy and intensity about the conversations. It was almost like the world disappeared. And we live our lives now in these 30-second, 60-second, 90-second clips. And to have the privilege and honor of sitting with someone in silence just talking. And, you know, I try to live my life with the, and this is weird for a broadcaster,

I live my life on the you've got two ears, one mouth ratio. And so the privilege really is to listen. And being able to sit and listen to someone talk about their life story is such a cool thing. And we just don't do it enough. You're right. So, yeah, I just felt really grateful. Awesome. So Jason Garn, Sir Graham Henry, Dame Val Adams.

Yeah, Dame Val. And look, I know those people. I know Jason. I know Dame Val. And I know Sir Graham very well. In fact, I did my first serious interview with an All Black coach when Graham Henry wasn't Sir then. Before he'd been knighted for...

It would have been a very serious interview. It was a very serious interview. Well, you do get much of a smile sometimes, but then outside of rugby and stuff, Graham Henry is... Oh, he's an outstanding man, but he terrified me the first time I interviewed him. Can we tell you a story About Graham Henry He came in here And he was hocking off

Raffle tickets To win a spa pool Yeah We have him on the radio And then afterwards He's like I'm your worst nightmare Here you go

He pulls up this raffle book He's like You'll buy a ten You'll buy a ten And you're like Oh god okay Can't say no to Sir Graham And then

Every time We've seen him like Three times He's like Whatever happened To the spa pool Sir Graham He's like

Well you clearly Didn't win did you Yeah that's right you guys buy your own spa balls he like it moved on better luck next time someone who I'm really interested to uh to watch and hear the interview uh is with Scott Baird detective Scott Baird from the New Zealand police now he is the guy whenever there is pretty much the grimmest crimes he's the one fronting the media and doing the lead investigation that That must have been really interesting. Yeah, 43 years in the police, Detective Inspector Scott Baird. And the public may recall his name.

He headed up the Grace Mullane case, which was tragic, obviously, and a huge profile both here and overseas, especially in the UK. But, you know, he deals with the real grime. And that was really interesting to me, how someone can stay positive with the accumulated stress of what they deal with on a daily basis. You know, where do they find their positivity? Because they're dealing with the worst in the world. Yeah. And so he had some amazing coping mechanisms for that and what he does in terms of being in his community. He's a big football man. Obviously, he has a family of his own, but he's also dealt with cancer diagnoses

personally himself. That was the nub for me. How do you operate in this normal world when that is your daily? That is a level of commitment to service that I don't think I can comprehend, but he was a fascinating and beautiful man. Was there a common theme? Everyone you spoke to, one common theme that you'd take away from all of your conversations? Yeah, great hugs at the end. But no, I love a hug. And I think the common theme was positivity.

Well, it sounds amazing. And I'm sure it looks amazing as well. Catch it on TVNZ, TVNZ Plus, and also on our podcast on iHeartRadio. Lovely to catch up again, Scotty. Oh, so nice to see you all. Thanks for having me. It's called The Upside. Thanks to AIA Insurance. You can catch it right now on podcast or watch it on TVNZ Plus.

The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. And we're playing a game called Handle the Scandal. That's right. Some of the famous scandals that have graced the news headlines over the years. Now what we're going to do is give you 30 seconds each. Megan is away with a nasty bout of gastro. A lot of gastro in the

papa's household. Do we have a lot? I mean they've got young kids you know the daycare age. You forget so quickly don't you? But maybe it's gastro, maybe it's a wonderful play to have Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and then Monday off. You know?

Yeah. Like, well done to her if it is. Yeah, well done. So, Producer Taylor, you're going to be filling in for Megan. And Ben Boyce, you're going to be playing the role of Ben Boyce. Okay, great. Okay, so I've written the cards. You get 30 seconds each.

Most scandals in 30 seconds wins big. Okay? I had a whole bunch of notes on this, but then my computer's just frozen. Oh, right. Okay. Probably would have been a good idea to get the cards out and back to the outbreak. Yeah, I said he's very unprepared, isn't he?

Yeah, I know. It's just as... After me getting the cards, you're like, jeez, okay. Okay, the timer starts now. Golfer busted for multiple affairs. Oh, me. Okay, Tiger Woods?

Correct. Comedian dropped his host at the Oscars for some ancient tweets. Oh, me. Okay, Tiger Woods? Correct. Comedian. Dropped as host of the Oscars for some ancient tweets. Oh, Kevin Hart. Well done. British comedian. Dated Katy Perry and was involved in...

Russell Brand? Correct. Well done. Tiger King. Sent to prison. Was, yes. I don't know. He's just...

I don't know. Don't know. Pass. Joe Exotic. Oh, right. Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh, there we I don't know. I don't know. Don't know. Pass. Joe Exotic. Oh, right. Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh, there we go.

Well done. That was five out of five. Not bad. Okay. Producer Taylor, you've got to get better than five. Was that five? I think it was five. I was three.

Let him go, mate. He's flustered. That's fine. That's fine. I got the last one wrong. That's fine. Just let him go. Just let him go.

Just let the old man go. That set me up for disaster, mate. I got the last one wrong. It's fine. Just let him go. Just let him go. Just let the old man go. That set me up for disaster, mate. I want a fair game. Maybe I got three, to be honest. Ben, you're on five. Ben's on five. But you round those up to the nearest. Yeah, fine.

That's how the game works. You know how the game works. I'll just get ten now. Round them up. Round them up to five. Okay. Timer starts now Okay Dishonest US President

He was named Tricky Dicky Bill Clinton? Richard Nixon Oh jeez Batman He was in Batman And he was involved in a racism scandal During the press junket

British actor Irish actor I think think. Pass. I don't know. Liam Neeson. She had her own show for a while. Ellen DeGeneres. No. Roseanne Barthes. Anything of it? Okay, I've got

an issue. You wrote those out so much slower than you did with Ben. He's very flustered. 5-0 with Ben. Ben's 5-0. No, no. Ben's 5-0. That's BS, man. Do you want to have another run?

Okay. Another 30 seconds on the clock. Can you read a bit quicker? Okay. Sister of Beyonce attacked Jay-Z in a lift. Pass. Sasha, I don't know. Solange.

Solange. He was Batman and he went off at some of the crew on set. Pass. Hold on She demanded a second go And then she's doing this I also want to mention that I'm very young Okay Unfortunately I don't have age on my side like you two

Sorry Ben 5-0 It's a great result The hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. It's one of the biggest shows in the world right now on Netflix, if you've got that. It's called Baby Reindeer, and it's based around a real story. A British comedian has sort of relayed his story.

He's changed a few things about his stalker. You can't let her affect us like this. It's not her affecting us. It's you. I miss you. Ladies and gentlemen, this is my stalker. Say say hello to mark don't you say that to me oh okay geez uh now producers hayley as you do you tend to uh get down the rabbit hole of certain projects what was the big one the uh the submarine that oh god that i was yeah i was hooked on that for like four weeks yeah were they all the rich people

in the submarine you uh we look yeah we. We lost you for a month there. We did, actually. Now you're deep inside, baby reindeer. Yeah. So I'm part of the group on social media that believes we found the stalker. And there's even another person that's allegedly involved in the main storyline. If you've seen the show, episode four, quite a big arc of the show. People are linking who that is as well.

So he's a comedian. Yes. And he has a stalker. Yes. So he acts in it. He plays himself in this. So it's a true story. Yeah, well, based on a true story that, you know,

he says he's changed to some things. Yeah, he says that he's changed the, like, physical attributes as well of his stalker, that she, even if she was to watch the film, she wouldn't be able to recognize herself. But if TikTok is right in who they think the stalker is, they're kind of identical. And the thing is there's someone who came out today and said, hey, this is me.

This is me. I'm getting death threats now about this. So that's the thing I didn't like about it. I thought it was very good, but I didn't like the fact it was a true story and I felt kind of icky. So you haven't watched past episode one? I was like, I'm done. I'm getting death threats now about this so that's the thing I didn't like about it I thought it was very good but I didn't like the fact it was a true story and I felt kind of icky so you haven't watched

past episode one I was like I'm done I'm tapped out but I can see why but I just don't have that sort of brain I just started feeling sorry for her

and all the barrage of she's getting death threats online I'm like I don't know I don't know if this poor person needs this who watches a show and is like I'm going to

send the death threat to that particular lady that's what people do though people like me. So it just makes me feel better about my miserable life. Have a crack at your favourite celebrities. Tear them down. But there we go, Baby Reindeer.

So you can watch that on Netflix. I had a stalker once, many years ago. Actually? Yeah, you should send letters. As if someone could be bothered with you. What was the appeal? Excuse me? Do I not seem stalkable?

On desperate days. Do I not? Hold on. Do I not seem like a stalkable guy? I'm sorry. Yeah. If I could stalk anyone in New Zealand, you'd be bottom of the barrel, mate.

Always good having you in here this morning. There you go. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. It's a full week this week after a bit of a holiday last week. Yeah, and I'll tell you who's full of gastro. That's Megan Pappas, who's

no longer with us today. She hasn't died of gastro. It does sound like you. Wow, it made it sound like she died of gastro. She has a diet of gas. It does sound like you. Wow, it made it sound like she died of the gas trial. She's still with us. She's just struggling. She'll hope you'll be back tomorrow. Producer Taylor stepping in

to do clickbait headlines reads us three actual headlines from the internet and only one of the stories we can hear more about. Do you love clickbait? Do you love clickbait? A headline is like,

you won't believe what happened to the backup actor from How I Met Your Mother. And you're like, well, they're leading a good life. They've got another job. They've got a house. And yeah, I would believe that. So headlines like that that you see on the internet.

This is the live, real-life version. Take it away, Taylor. All right. Urgent warning for anyone using scarily accurate AI death calculator. Okay. Oh, AI death calculator. I'm genuinely worried about AI.

I was talking to my friend about this over the weekend. It's a real concern for me for some reason. But it could help us all in the future. People are probably saying that about calculators

80 years ago. I was there when calculators were invented. We were saying it. I was like, I don't trust these calculators adding up all these numbers

and so crazy. Hey, can I, sorry to sidetrack but I know this is a sidetrack and we'll get in trouble for it. My daughter, greatest calculator hack on your phone. Bring up the calculator. It's not writing boobies or anything. Yeah, I was just thinking that.

That was a fun day, eh, when you figured out that. Shell and boobs. Yeah. So you've got your normal calculator. Flip it on the side. Yeah. Oh. Science calculator. Oh. Flip it on the side. Science calculator. Scientific calculator on your phone.

Now, Grace, don't laugh and mock me. Turn her mic off. Has he just discovered that? Anyway, that was a little sidetrack there. Amazing. Calculator phone. Okay, bride files for divorce one day after wedding after the groom broke her only rule.

Oh, okay. And the final headline? I'm a psychiatrist and I'm being cancelled by Taylor Swift fans. Now we need to debate amongst ourselves about what we want to hear. I'm kind of interested in why the guy got dumped the day after the marriage. Yeah, let's go with that one. He had one rule, okay. What was the rule?

And as we say, there's no other way to find out about the details of the other two stories. Is it like Pretty Woman, no kissing on the lips? No, no, it's actually even pettier than that. Oh, okay. So the bride, she was saying that she was never really even keen on getting married in the first place, but when he proposed, she was like, okay, I'm committed, let's do this. And that's the basis of great marriage, great foundation there. Caught up in the first place but when he proposed she was like okay i'm committed let's do this and that's the basis that's the basis of great marriage great foundation caught up in the moment yeah she organized the most the a big wedding you know the full ceremony reception big party

and her only rule was when we cut the cake don't put the cake in my face you know when you do that cute thing and you kind of feed each other and then he like slams it in her face and he did it but once you say don't do it that's all you're gonna think in the back of your mind oh was it a big was it a smash smash cake to the face she walked out she left the wedding straight away right and then now all her family and friends are saying you're being ridiculous this isn't divorce worthy and she goes damn right it is and she's she's gone ahead with it really yep in the uk i like a very specific request too. Do not smash cake in my face.

So she obviously knew who she was going into marriage with. And he's four or five beers deep. He's probably like, you know what? In the back of my mind.

I've just got to go for it. The guys, the lads are going to love this. This is going to crush it. Oh, geez. And that was the end of it. That's the story.

Has anyone, text 4487, I can't imagine anyone will have had this happen to them. Has anyone broken up the day after the wedding? Or the day of the wedding? I feel like it would happen more than we think. I don't know.

Think alcohol, think illicit substances. It feels like you need to give it some time, though. Yeah, but. Okay, so if Marcelo did one thing to you, and your wedding was a tumultuous one, wasn't it? You ended up in biffo with the band, didn't you? Yeah, all in brawl. Yeah, it was an all in brawl with the band.

I always wanted, we've heard Taylor's side of the story. I'd love to get the band's side of the story. That would, no, absolutely not. What would one thing that Marcella would do that you'd be like, that's a dumpable offence on your wedding day? Sleep with the maid of honour or any of the bridesmaids or my mum. Something unreasonable. Or my grandma.

The hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Yeah, Venice, the beautiful city in Italy with all the water, the moats around the city. It's the first city in the world to charge an entry fee now. There's protests going on at the moment. About $9 New Zealand if you want to go on and check it out as far as that because I reckon just to generate some tourism, a lot of people going in there, so they're trying to make some money.

Well, they are talking about that in some cities around New Zealand, aren't they? If you're heading into the central business districts for work, to charge a fee too. A mission fee to see the city. If you stay the night there, they're saying you don't have to pay because you're paying accommodation. $9 seems reasonable.

It always can just... Why don't they do a round 10? Yeah. Well, I think it's five euro. That's... They could kind of round it. But yeah, for New Zealand money, $9. The NZD, yeah, yeah. Not quite working out. Not the round 10. Yeah. Well, I think it's five euro. That's, they could kind of round it, but yeah,

but for New Zealand money, $9. The NZD, yeah, not the round figure. Interesting chat over the weekend with, and I want to front foot this and say, very friendly gentleman in a balaclava.

Right. Okay, I'm walking along the road, car pulls up, there's a guy in the passenger seat, balaclava. I'm like, okay,

interesting, interesting headwear decision In any location Apart from the snow Isn't it the balaclava Yeah It's a fashion statement Isn't it You're making a statement

When you're wearing a balaclava I mean it's getting colder But it's not It's not winter We're not in the middle of winter So it doesn't feel like Your face is going to be That cold

You wouldn't imagine Yeah No and I know Megan's away with gastro. May she rest in peace today. Megan Puffer, she always goes on about fashion pieces. Balaclava is a big fashion piece. You're like, oh, you're wearing your balaclava two days in a row sort of thing. Like you know when someone's doubling down on it.

So anyway, pulls up. And the guy, the driver, not in a balaclava. Okay. Now it was a sort of a salmon, light pinkies. I feel like they're kind of a little bit, a little bit, producer Grace, you're our person we go to for trendiness. You work at a surf shop.

Yeah. Balaclavas, are they on trend? They're kind of a little bit, I mean, no 21 Pilots, people like that, you know, those cool sort of groups sort of sometimes rock a balaclava. Yeah, definitely. They're in their trend era.

I won't, but they're definitely, like for festivals and stuff too. Yeah. I mean, nothing screams, I'm about to rob a bank or go cross-country skiing like a balaclava. Yeah. Anyway, he was wearing down the window

and he's like, excuse me, sir. Okay. It's a way to make me feel distinguished. Which way is the bank? Just up there, mate. I'll keep the car running for you. Well, thanks very much. You know how helpful you are.

But he just wanted to know where Rankin Street was. I was like, oh, second or third on your thing. But, you know, his balaclava was matching his hoodie too, the colour scheme. So I was picking more fashion than criminal activity. It's an unusual thing to wear around the city

maybe you had a pimple maybe you wanted to cover up the face unsightly cold sore another great option gotta wear the balaclava today but it does feel like

you can't walk into and rightly so you couldn't walk into shops with it on could you no because the people behind the counter

they've only got one assumption don't they fashion's not first on the list. You're not thinking high fashion if someone comes in. We had a friend who used to work at a radio station out back Aussie. And he turned up to work one day.

There was a guy who was there removing all the equipment, not in a balaclava, but just speaking of being helpful to people being criminals. That's right. And he was lifting all the computer gear from the office. And he looked like he needed to be there. And our friend said, you need a hand, mate? He said, actually, I don't have a lift. And he's like, I'll get you a taxi chip.

So I got him a taxi chip from the office. Ordered him a taxi, helped him put the gear into the car, and then went back to work. And then what was a couple hours later, people were like, hey, all this stuff's been taken from the office. Does anyone know anything about this? He's like, oh. Oh, you're a friendly guy I put in a cab.

Dear God, I've helped him. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. He's like Oh you're a friendly guy I put in a cab Dear God I've helped him The Kids are back at school After two weeks of school holiday No cell phones at schools either And your daughter Sienna This has been consuming her life She's going into bat for the youth With the Prime Minister

After 8 o'clock this morning Debate Head to head Face to face Prime Minister and my daughter Sienna She's been preparing for this She's got some stuff written You've told me some of her points, some really good points actually

It's not just like shut up dumb kid I'm doing what I want points You actually have to take these points on board I don't know if it's going to change his mind But we'll find out this morning 8 o'clock Now This story which Has emerged over the weekend about a Newlywed couple heading off on a honeymoon

the guy's been given an upgrade well yeah so this is the thing now so what so what happened was the guy the honeymoon so just me married they're off on their honeymoon we all we can thank you for the honeymoon we all know what a honeymoon is Now, he takes a business class upgrade on their flight. So he's earned these status points. Well, hang on. No, no, no. So this is what I thought as well. So he's got the upgrade.

He goes and sits in business class. His new wife sits in economy. Okay. But it was her upgrade. He's taken her upgrade. I'm just reading more into it. So not only has he taken an un-upgrade On the leftist wife and economy

But he's taken her upgrade As well Do you think she got it felt guilty and went Oh listen you take it and he's like okay Yeah well that's That was the thing I was like unbelievable That a guy would you know leave his wife For an upgrade

But even more unbelievable he's taken her upgrade. How's the relationship now? I don't know. Is it frosty? I don't know. All I've got is a photo of an empty plane. So on the story, I'm thinking. You'd definitely send back a patronising,

like here's a patronising glass of bubbles or something back to economy, wouldn't you? Now, Producer Taylor, Marcelo and yourself, you're going away, you're on a honeymoon. Where did you go for your honeymoon? Hawaii. Oh, lovely. Beautiful.

He leaves you for business class. No, absolutely not. I feel like that says so much about the man right there. To do that, if anything. That he's never going to turn down business class. Who would? To be honest, I think the right thing to do here was either go, no, you have it, you deserve it,

or stuff it, let's both deny it and both sit together. If we can't sit together. Both be miserable together. That's marriage, isn't it? Be miserable together. Absolutely. But marriage can also be one person's very, very happy and the other person's miserable.

Like in this case. You're right. Maybe she went, oh, you take it. And he went, okay. You know what? That was a test. That was absolutely a test. She would, oh, you take it. And he went, okay. You know what? That was a test. That was absolutely a test. She would have said, you take it, to see how he replies.

And gone, you son of a. I would have gone, you sure? And then I went, yeah. I go, okay. Well, you see, you know. Failed. Yeah. This goes back to your arrangement you had with Amanda when she had stated no presents.

Yeah. And you stuck by it. Yeah, don't say something you don't mean. Again, so incredibly incorrect. Well, no, I've discovered this. All right. And she brought a present. She broke the rules.

Yeah, but it was her rules to start off with. Read between the lines, Ben. Just following the rules. Anyway, okay, so that happened on their honeymoon. Wild. The honeymoon hadn't really even started. Big pressure point, you would imagine. So 800 of the hits. What was the big pressure point in your honeymoon? This is just, you know, you would imagine. So 800 of the hits.

What was the big pressure point in your honeymoon? This is just, you know, you're at the start line of marriage. Yeah. Cracks are already starting to appear. The unbelievable thing that happened on your honeymoon. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. We've been posting a lot more over the last couple of days.

Got a beard. Got a sort of scraggly beard. Very ambiguous photos as well. Like he has ones with tears rolling down his cheeks. Notice no misses. No misses in any of the shots there, Patricia Taylor. What do you read in that? I think it's been over for years.

For years? Yeah, I think he never got over Selena, just FYI. Oh, really? Hayley Bieber, yeah, not in any of the pics there. Yeah, they don't have chemistry. Sorry, saying. Go on. They'll be like, you've seen them together.

Hey, thanks, random lady in New Zealand, for your opinion on our marriage. Anyway, we're going to opinion on other people's marriages right now because we want to know what happened on your honeymoon? What was the sort of pressure point? What was the unusual thing that happened? We're going to get Barb on. Welcome our friend, Barb. How are you on a Monday morning, Barb?

Morena. Great to talk to you, guys. Morena, Barb. Now, you proposed something to your new husband. Yes. Well, we've been together for five years. We need to have that in the context. My sister came from Melbourne for the wedding,

and I said to him, will it be all right if she came on the honeymoon too? You brought your sister on the honeymoon? What was he like? Okay, yeah, fine. He was like, yeah, absolutely. Wow. Okay.

Well, he's a keeper. Yeah. Yep, yep. We're up to 20 years now, so we're doing pretty well. Was it a bit awkward for your sister or was it fine? It was fine. We actually shared a room. Okay, Barb, that's enough.

That's enough. Keep it clean, Barb. It's a family show. She's saying, look, I'm going to go for a walk for a while, for an hour or two. Just whatever you do in your own time is up to you. An hour or two, that's generous. That's very generous.

Mate, you can just do a whip around the block. Hey, Barb, appreciate your call. We're going to hook you up with some hell pizza. You hold the line. In my case, you can just go to the end of the driveway if you want, to be honest. Now, Producer Taylor, you and Marcelo, you were just saying you went to Hawaii for your honeymoon.

Lovely location. But there was a huge pressure point. Yeah, I hate water sports. I can't swim, to say myself. And he loves everything like that. So he forced me to go jet skiing. I went behind him. He was driving.

I said, I'll only do jet skiing if you drive safely, please. And he goes, of course, what the hell? We're in a foreign country. Health insurance doesn't exist here. Anywho, and then like two metres on the jet ski, we go flying over this wave, capsized, and I'm screaming and he's even gone to the point where he's

going, there's a shark, there's a shark, there's a shark. And I'm literally screaming, crying, and that was it. I've swam to shore and I said never again. Oh, you swam back in? Yeah. Didn't speak to him. And I didn't talk to him for the rest of the day. Same happened to me over a game of tennis.

I kicked Jen's ass at tennis. Like, I won't lie. And she's refused to play tennis since. Good on her. Yeah. Didn't talk for the rest of the day. Sarah, you're on. What was the pressure point in your honeymoon?

Sarah? Hello. How are you? What was the pressure point in your honeymoon? Sarah? Hello. How are you? What was the pressure point in your honeymoon, mate? It was more where the honeymoon ended up being. I know my husband had a tournament, a police

sports tournament in Adelaide that happened to be just after our wedding. So I don't know how he convinced me that that was a good place for a honeymoon. So he dragged you along to Adelaide to a sports tournament, a police sport. What sports was he playing? Football. Oh, that sounds...

Did you have to go along and watch some football games or did you get to go shopping and other stuff? Oh, no, I had a four-month-old baby as well. So I ended up going to the football every day. I'm sorry, Sarah. The only thing I saw of Adelaide was the waterfront where our hotel was. Oh, I'm sorry about that. Dragged along to football on your honeymoon in Laos.

Welcome. What was the pressure point on your honeymoon? My wife and I, we were over in Fiji. Been married 16 years. Back then, we were over in Fiji Been married 16 years, back then we were still pretty healthy And then I met the sports coordinator in the gym And then he was really friendly And then he started phoning the room Inviting me to come down and play rugby with him And I knew something was wrong

Because during the week as well, because I like NFL I was watching the playoffs And he turns up to the room And he sat there And watched the game And he goes Oh do you want to go Play rugby

Oh what the sports coordinator Is hanging out with you In the room I think he thought Everyone in New Zealand Knew how to play rugby Or league So he wouldn't leave you alone

No He'd find the room And say Oh what are you doing You know in the Fiji accent. Well, I'm like, oh, well, I'm out. And then I said, I'll go down. And my wife said, don't go down there.

And then I said, oh, I'll go have a look. You know, he's really friendly. And then when I got on the neck, I got there, and then he threw me on the pitch. And it felt like the whole team could have played for, like, the Fijian Seven. So out of depth. And then my wife just looked at me, like, full embarrassment, And it felt like the whole team could have played for like the Fijian Seven. And my wife just looked at me like full embarrassment, like she wanted to divorce me then.

I was like, well, I was just being nice. And me and that sports coordinator are still together to this day. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Last week I told you the embarrassing tale of how we were on the camper van, in the camper van with my family, I tested out the stereo inside the camper van when we were parked up at the campground. Our radio show was playing. I was like, great, you never get to hear the radio. We're in a safe space.

Crank it up, family. Let's hear it nice and loud. Couldn't hear it that well until someone came and knocked on the camper van door and said, your speakers are blasting out to the whole campground. This is like six, seven o'clock in the morning. Us, us, the sound of my own voice. Heartbreaking. Just out to everyone. Did the person knocking on the door make the connection between the voice blaring on the speakers and the person in the camper van?

I don't know. I kind of, I hope not. But at the same time, I felt like people around definitely made that connection. Yeah. Well, because if he didn't or the person who knocked on the door didn't, then other people in the campground would have gone, but at the same time I felt like people around definitely made that connection yeah well because if he didn't or the person who knocked on the door

didn't then other people in the camp would have gone oh that was that's the guy and then that was the reason why he's playing himself

a loudspeaker great marketing great marketing well maybe it is guerrilla style marketing hey everyone get up in the morning listen to us

maybe we should just walk into bars restaurants offices cafes and just turn on the hits and just crank it up loud and walk out well true actually you're right maybe we should but I had another moment and I don't now looking back Bars, restaurants, offices, cafes, and just turn it on, just crank it up loud and walk out. Well, true.

Actually, you're right. Maybe we should. But I had another moment. And now looking back, I don't know why I did it, but on Friday we were smart for a change. We took the day off. I think a lot of the country did. Productivity would have been an all-time low.

The national government, we just had Luxon, and they would not have been happy with that. And we don't normally get a chance, as I said before, to listen to the show. It always sounds different when you listen to the radio show with songs and ads and just getting a feel for it. You don't have to explain to me, mate. Who are you trying to convince here?

So I was walking to the dentist and I had ear pods on, you know, the ones that connect by Bluetooth. Safe space. Safe space. Blasted straight into your ears. And it was all working great until i took out the you know the earpods to talk to the person at reception said i'm here for an appointment friday morning was listening to our show and they're all good sat back down in amongst a busy

waiting room and then all of a sudden it wasn't quite it wasn't quite working so i did the classic thing of crank it up i was like oh i can listen to it i can hear it a lot better until everyone started looking at me and realized it wasn't connected by bluetooth i was just playing my phone quite loud and i couldn't hear it that well because my the bluetooth headphones were in my ears just through your phone speaker through the phone sitting on my lap it's playing quite loud our voices to everyone again i'm like oh god i felt i thought like i should just leave the you know i was like don't just walk out I was like, do I just walk out? What was the appointment? Just to see the dentist, just to check up.

I'm like, do I really need to go see? No fillings, nothing major? No, you could leave there. In hindsight, nothing major. I didn't know it was going to be nothing major. That could wait 12 months. I was like, definitely felt like it'd wait 12 months. Whenever I get caught doing anything embarrassing in public,

I just say I'm Ben. Most people don't know the difference anyway, right? Good and true. That happened to a friend of ours. She was in a flatting situation and was watching some saucy content on the laptop. Privacy of her own bedroom. Yeah. Hey.

And she couldn't get any audio. And cranking it up on the laptop. There was four or five other flatmates. They were in the lounge. It had connected to the Bluetooth speaker In the lounge What is going on here? Bluetooth can be a dangerous game

The old headphones You just plug in Never had those problems right? What is a Bluetooth anyway? We put a lot of faith in it We tangled up pretty quickly with those headphones But apart from that It was worth the pain Anyway, we put a lot of faith in it. Yeah, we tangled up pretty quickly with those headphones. But apart from that, you know, apart from that, there was no problems.

It was worth the pain. You're right. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Today, you know, has she got gastro in the house or is she just making a wonderful play to have? Five days off. Thursday, Friday, and then a Monday, you know, like a huge. I think she's done that.

Well, she's very committed because she sent the gastro message at 1.36 a.m. So if this is an elaborate plan, well, it's been fully thought through. Yeah. No detail missed. But there we go. We wish her the best with this deathly gastro bug. Yeah. Hopefully she'll return tomorrow.

In fact, our boss didn't know that she wasn't here today. So he texts producer Taylor saying, where's Megan? Gastro. Do you reckon she wants everyone to know she's got gastro? No. Because she didn't even say that in the text. She said she's got a sore stomach. All right.

I just made up gastro. And I've been meaning to say that to you every time you mentioned it. You're like, gastro, gastro, gastro. Explosive diarrhea right now as we speak. Now, Producer Taylor, speaking of all things. Exciting announcement. Oh, yeah, big announcement. Now, this came through to all your friends and family over the weekend, right?

Yep, yep. So I was minding my own business, eating dinner, and I got a FaceTime from my mum back in Oz. Sue Lombardi? Sue Lombardi, great gal. Does Sue FaceTime you every time? Like three times a day. Why does she need to see your face?

I don't know. No, she checks on the dog too. Do you like a FaceTime? No. I find sometimes it is nice, but other times you can't do stuff because people know you're doing it. You're not there. You don't focus.

You have to be locked into that call. Absolutely. Mate, by the third call of the day, you've got nothing left to give. Does she call you three times a day? Yeah, easy. Jesus, that must be costing a fortune in FaceTime. I know, but she goes, this is what happens when you move away from me. I guess Wi-Fi, probably doing it for free, right?

Over the Wi-Fi. Who knows? Actually, the company pays. Okay, so sorry. We got sidetracked on how many times Sulambati FaceTimes. Yeah, so she FaceTimed me and said, you never told me you were launching a clothing brand. And I said, mum, what are you on? And she goes.

I'm on FaceTime. She is. I've just gotten an Instagram follow request from Taylor Montoya Clothing. Oh, wait, you launched a clothing label? And I said, what? What the hell? So I didn't believe her because, you know, boomer, whatever. The internet's a crazy place for her.

So she screenshotted it and sent it to me. And this Instagram account was made called Taylor Montoya Clothing. And they had gone and followed all my family and friends that they could obviously see I was following. And then they went and blocked me so I couldn't find the page what really good it's elaborate now yeah like message saying I'm excited to announce my clothing brand exactly so they they went to the effort to message my mom and my mom was talking to this person thinking it was me and I'm like oh my god you should know your daughter by now what are they saying to her like oh I'm so excited to, my God, you should know your daughter by now. What are they saying to her?

They're like, oh, I'm so excited to launch my clothing brand. Can you please support me? Click this link. And mum's going, hon, don't you have enough on your plate? Like, reply back. So the scammer's like, oh, God, now I'm in a bloody, a web of conversation with their mother. Literally, she's like, you never told me this. And then I'm like, mum, it's not me. I me i was like that's not how i talk and plus they use the ugliest emojis in the bio too

i would never have done that and the name in itself i was like mom do you think i'm that up myself i would call a brand taylor montoya clothing oh you gotta use your name though no that's but what name is that it's a no name what would you call your clothing label in montoya i actually do think of this no i'd go back to my maiden name which was lombardi and um shorten it to bardi like a kardashian dash oh yeah no like you haven't launched a clothing label no absolutely not you're still wanting money from your friends and family to help you yeah yeah hopefully and then when i put it on my story to warn everyone not to follow it and reach out the amount of people that message me saying i have literally been talking to this person they all click the link even one of my friends was like oh my god i was going to get some

you know clothing for my euro trip this year and i was like don't so now what is your clothes what would you do what would you have you'd have i reckon some definitely butt cheek bikinis yeah i like the high rise yeah um I'd do a baggy jean now that that's in fashion bit of a halter neck are you I mean it sucks the scammers

but at the same time probably a little bit of a compliment that you could of all people could have a fashion line yeah well I mean

I'd need more than six people that reached out but um yeah the scammers pandering to your ego that's the fashionable person

yeah you're right they're not looking at me and going we're going to set up Johnny Pryor clothing are they no

hey it's the first day back at school after two weeks of school holidays and the kids will be dropped off by now so if you want to brag

if you want to celebrate you can do that in a safe space yeah you won't hurt any children's feelings and if they are still in the car

and you hurt their feelings well it's a good learning. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. School holidays are over. Two weeks, it felt, maybe like two months for a lot of people. And listen, no one ever wants to publicly celebrate not having to hang out with your children. But they also don't like to publicly state which one of their kids is their favourite as well. Everyone's kind of happy today.

I love your kids, but at the same time it's probably nice for a lot of parents when the kids are back at school, you don't have to juggle, you don't have to worry about that situation. You just imagine all the stuff you're going to get done today. Oh yeah, so let's get some celebration music on. We've got some celebration music. It's the school holiday celebration line.

We feel like eight minutes to nine o'clock is a safe zone where kids' feelings won't get hurt. They can't hear anything. Francis. Francis. Hi, guys. It's the school holiday celebration line. Day one back. It sounds like you might have you dropped the kids off. I dropped one of three off. Just had my newborn five weeks ago. It's been bloody over. It's all gone.

It's all go for you. Sorry, is that all gone? It sure is. What on earth is happening in the background? That's the newborn disliking the car. Oh, you poor thing. So you've got rid of one. Is another one going to school today or you've got two at home?

No, I dislike punishment. And I took the two-year-old out of daycare on Monday. Oh, Francis. We're going to

hook you up with some hell pizza. You can celebrate one of the three going in. It sounds like a herd of goats in the background

or something that you have to do. Thank you so much. Why did you call a radio station? You know, it keeps the kids entertained.

One of them. Hey, love your work, Francis. Have a good one. Shay, you're on the school holiday celebration line. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm thrilled now. Yeah, it was pretty stressful. A 13-year-old and a 10-year-old.

And, yeah, it's just like the silence is just great. The silence is great. Yeah, the juggle of the school holidays is hard, isn't it? Yeah, it is. They're doing a couple of all-nighters and stuff like that, and then, yeah, they sleep during the day, and then it's pretty hard for us to get to sleep sometimes at night. Yeah, right.

So you're, listen, polar opposite to Francis who we just spoke to. You've just got dead quiet silence. What are you going to do? Oh, we'll just sit there for a bit and just reminisce about all the silence. Yeah, I don't know. I love your plan. It's just nothing. It's good.

Yeah, we might pop out for a coffee or something. Yeah. Oh's good. Yeah. We might pop out for a coffee or something. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Sounds like someone who's come off a two-week bender. Those last two weeks go. We're going to hook you up with some How Pizza. You enjoy your silence and your coffee today. Oh, yes.

Thank you very much.