Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL SHOW: TEDDY SWIMS, MIKE MCROBERTS AND CHELSEA HANDLER

Episode Date: July 4, 2024

ON THE SHOW TODAY: Teddy Swims Mike McRoberts Chelsea Handler Wedding Songs The end of NewsHub Ben's Photoshoot Facebook: The Hits Breakfast with Jono and Ben Instagram: THEHITSBREAKFASTSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Thanks to Challenge, putting the service back into service stations. The chilly one right around the country as you come and clamber your way in. I was walking and everyone just starts laughing at me. You're like, man, you just smashed your laptop onto your microphone. It's all going. Coming like a wrecking ball. Big morning this morning. We've got a massive show. I know.

Just getting my head around it. I was just saying that before. We've got Chelsea Handler, US comedian. We've got Teddy Swims, who's an amazing singer. Mike McRoberts as well. Heaps of chances to go see Pink in about the next 20 minutes. We're going to take a whole lot of calls this morning. And air fryers, briskos, vouchers. It's one of those days when you turn up to work and you haven't thought how much work there is ahead of you.

And then you go, damn, we've got a lot going on. It should be Friday. We should be checking out. But anyway, we're not. But yesterday, to add another thing to our calendars, you decided I need to be a catalogue model yesterday, right? Yeah, we did the photo shoot yesterday. Very exciting.

Well, your daughter actually, she planted this beautiful seed for us and we ran with it. And she said you looked like a model, didn't she? Well, yeah, she's like a catalogue model. And I was like, oh, great. So I'll take it. And then you guys were like, well, you can't claim to be a Asterix. Yeah, a catalogue model. And I was like, oh, great, so I'll take it. And then you guys were like, well, you can't claim to be a catalogue model without being in a catalogue. So

yesterday, a company that you know, Edwards & Co. Edwards & Co., a good New Zealand company. They do all baby paraphernalia, shall we say, like prams, cots, all sorts. So you were modelling a pram. Can I say, you're very good at basically the artistic direction of it, Megan. Great art director. Thank you. You're very good at basically the artistic direction of it, Megan.

Thank you. Great art director. Yeah, you're very good at going, the shot here should be there. That was very impressive. Jono? Morale? No, well, you were in charge of bringing the baby along. Yes.

Because it's pushing a pram. So I grabbed a doll from Poppy, my daughter's room, an Our Generation doll, wrapped it up. It wasn't really baby. It was probably more three to four. You'd be like, why are they still pushing that three or four-year-old around on a pram? Wrapped her up in a little swaddle. And you had to hold the baby, look lovingly and adoringly at it.

You did great. You did great, actually. It was good direction from you, actually. You looked lovingly at that doll like it was your own child. Like it was a real baby. But then when we wanted a real baby, you had an alternative option, and we're like, what's going on here?

And off you went behind a tree, and this happened. Okay, we're here at the park. We're doing my photo shoot, and Jono's gone behind a tree right by the playground, and he is now getting changed. Well, he's already changed, pre-changed into an adult diaper. I don't think we should have done this by the playground. Yeah, like he's gone behind a tree, but it's right by the playground.

You're hiding from us, but now you're in playing side of the kids. To be fair, there's not... Oh, no, there is kids there. Yeah, there's kids there. Oh, God. He looks like a big baby. Look at him. Oh, my goodness.

Oh, my goodness. Wow. Low point my goodness. Wow. Low point in everyone's life. What? She came over in just nothing but an adult diaper. Adult diapers, yeah. Definitely going to show up on some CCTV footage as a person of interest at some point. Very white.

Yeah, that's all Megan could say was. She's so white, so pasty. You know when you're outside and it's sunny and you look at something white and it's like blinding? That was you. The Weeknd wrote that song about a blinding light today. Blinding white. First time we saw Jono, it was like, whoa, whoa. It was like a right hit song about that.

It is, yeah, very wintery white complexion. But then I was like, well, I know he's going to complain about the doll that it doesn't look realistic enough, so I had to buy some insurance. And making babies, it takes nine months to create humans. So I was like, bang, we're going to come up with a solutions-based type of guy. We'll put the photos up today. Maybe even if you have a big baby as well at some stage this morning.

And you could be winning, I pram, a stroller from Edwards & Co. as well. We'll tell you how you can do that just after 7 o'clock. But next, it's a very, it's a sad day. The last day of News Hub, the AM show. And next, we're going to reflect on some of our favourite moments in three minutes. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. 6.14 on a Friday. We like to flashback on a Friday and look back at something very iconic and nostalgic.

And today, it is a big day. News Hub on TV3. It's the very final AM show. It's the very final bulletin is News Hub on TV3. It's the very final AM show. It's the very final bulletin. It's News Hub today. 3 News is going to carry on on stuff and also on TV3, but it's kind of sad. Mike McRoberts, who joins us after 7,

it's his very last bulletin. Yeah, RIP to News Hub, and if you're sad that it's going, well then, look at yourselves, okay? Look at yourselves consuming your news on your phone all day and not waiting patiently until six o'clock to digest the topical stories it's your fault okay put the blame on the audience there but it is it's a sign of the times isn't it and it's sad that so many people are

losing their jobs hundreds yeah we're gonna get um you know nostalgic uh with mike mcrobert's after seven o'clock today when he joins us but we thought right now let's look at some of the lighter moments from News Hub over the years. From TV3 News, the iconic 3 News and Mike McRoberts. One of his more iconic moments. Actually we played it to him on our TV show. It was a very low point. Have a listen. This might be one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. The bank says it won't happen until the middle of next year, at least.

But while some first home boners are locked out of it, buyers have locked out of the market. Home boners. I mean, he's had a pretty blemish-free career, hasn't he? He's said words bloody correct. A lot of words every night for 20 years.

One time he says boner. And we're like, I don't know, just given the current interest rates, I don't know what the opposite of a home boner is but I think I've pretty much got that at the moment It's definitely not giving us home boners is it Another moment from Mike McRoberts that I like the sign off from the news

where he kind of gave it a James Bond-esque sign off Have a listen Well that's today's news on 3 I'm Hilary Barry And I'm McRoberts Mike McRoberts Now it's Camelot See John Camelot.

See John Camelot. Oh! Groaning in the background. That's right. Did he not mean to do that? I don't know. Mike McRoberts. Chucking it in there, I think.

I'll try something new tonight, then Campbell's going to, oh! Of course, the project at 7pm sadly ended at the end of last year. One of our favourite moments was the wonderful Kanoa Lloyd. Talking about a box of Cadbury chocolates that was coming back with some new flavors and unfortunately the comeback wasn't quite what she said after getting ditched back in 2018 strawberry cream orange cream and peppermint cream and making a cum box a cum box come back is the term I believe It's all good I don't know if roses want to be associated with that It's not quite the thank you very very

Oh maybe they do, thank you very much Thank you very very very much I have not heard that before That's very good And a great moment, Hilary Barry Who you now just think obviously does a great job on 7 Sharp She was in the morning reading the news with Paul Henry. That's right.

He was doing the AM show, wasn't he? And this was a wonderful, this brings a smile to your face. It was a court case going on with a guy. It was quite a full-on story, wasn't it? It was quite a very serious. I think she says in there, this is a funny. Yeah, I think it's like a sexual assault story or something. And it sort of ended up in a weird terminology

for him needing to come inside and use the toilet. He said he'd had an emergency defecation situation and needed to use her bathroom, but the judge in the case found he had a sexual motive. An emergency defecation situation. It's the two of them looking like school kids. Paul Henry and Hilary Barry.

That is great. Nothing puts a smile on your face like an emergency defecation situation. Unless you're having the emergency defecation situation. Next. We started this yesterday talking about the most amount of money that people have spent on their pets. Yeah, if you've got an insane amount of money that you have spent on their pets yeah if you've got uh an insane amount of money that uh you have spent a pet surgery uh oh 800 the hits 4487 a lady spoke to a lady who spent 30 grand on her horse oh yeah and more calls and texts coming through next what have you spent on your pet it's gonna it's gonna blow you away in

three minutes on the hits the hits the jonathan ben podcast we're talking this week about the most amount you've spent on your pets. And Fiona joins us. Good morning. How are you? Great. Great to have you on. The most amount of money you've spent on your pets.

I know. Yes. How much was it? Well, the first operation was around four. And then we've done another couple and they were $1,000 or so. $6,000? Yeah. Five or six. Okay.,000? Yeah, $5,000 or $6,000. Okay, yep. And still alive and well? What sort of pet have you got?

Bichon, let's say. So he's 14 this month. Still going? Wow. He is. What would happen if there was a big vet bill of $5,000 or something now? Now, I don't know. Oh, sorry. No one wants to be put on the spot. Ben hates it when we ask that question. He was sick and his last operation the vets asked him to just keep him asleep and put him down and we said no we want to bring him home and say our goodbyes and just give us medication. And he came right.

And that was three years ago. Oh, the little dog that could. Battled on through. You'd said your goodbyes to him. Yeah, well, yeah, we brought him home with medication and flew our son down from Christchurch to say goodbyes. And we had the weekend with him and then he came fine. I bet you're glad you didn't take the advice of the vet. Absolutely I wasn't taking the advice of the vet so I lost my trust. Well yeah

yeah interesting call you're like four years later the he's still here. Hey man I was just going for a long sleep he's alive and well and he's 14. Well and let's hope he keeps on kicking for another 14 oh yeah let's hope he keeps on kicking for another 14.

Oh, yeah, let's hope so. Yeah, like that's probably not going to happen. No, he's my baby. Oh, no, but they just really integrate themselves into the family, like quicker than you'd think. It only takes a couple of weeks and you're like, this thing is, you couldn't imagine life without it. Child.

No, no no and i'd never owned a dog before in my life so yeah yeah well and i bet you're resistant to as well jen my wife was the same no we're not getting a dog and i was just no we're not getting a dog we got one and she was couldn't yeah couldn't live without him we're probably good how much that's really sweet and genuine from you for a second. Of course I could live without it.

I'm going to keep living. Wow. That's not what you said. I want you to stick to that. All right,

Ava, great one, Fiona. You too, guys. Thanks so much. See you, mate. Bye. See you. Shakita, good

morning to you. Good morning. How are we going? We're doing well. It's lovely to have you on this morning, on this crisp morning. Now, you're an ex-vet nurse i am yeah jeez pete you would have seen some money

what would they say i see some money change hands yeah i've seen quite a bit yeah the puppy he was a golden lab probably about nine ten weeks old at the time, and the couple, I don't know what they were doing, they were a family, they had the window down and the dog jumped out, well the puppy jumped out of the window. They were towing a boat trailer at the time, and the boat trailer ran him over. So he did come in to us,

but we were in a specialist clinic, so specialist surgery, and they did two surgeries. One didn't work because the pin they put on his leg was far too big. Right. And then it was pushing on his nerves and causing him a lot of pain. So he had to have another surgery on top of that. And each surgery was costing him $9,000.

Wow. So, yeah, so they're already at $18,000, and that's not including he was coming in for follow-up. He was coming in for x-rays to see how everything was. So, yeah, so I think probably all up, I heard from some colleagues of mine at the time that his owner's family had remortgaged their house in order to help pay for the ongoing cost. There's guilt there, though, eh?

Because it's your fault. He's just a little puppy, you know? Well, there you go. That's the love of an animal right there. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, you know. Well, there you go. That's the love of an animal right there. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, some people will do it, Megan. It's not to say you won't. Anyway.

It does depend on the stage in life too. Like a puppy's still got their whole life ahead of them. Yeah, my dog's older. Yeah. Whatever makes you sleep at night, man. Thank you so much. Really appreciate it. Have a good one.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Who's having the best weekend? Let's bring in Connor from the south, Hayley from the north. They each get to pitch their case of why they reckon their island is going to have a cracker. Yes, the Avengers, we call them, of weekend events, of some of the most electrifying slash tedious weekend events on offer. Now, we're going to start with you, Connor, in the south. We hear minus four in Christchurch this morning.

Yeah, hold on. Let me quickly look out my window here and turn the light on. Yeah, if I stepped on that deck, I'd probably fall over and break something. It's pretty... Is it icy? Yeah, really I stepped on that deck, I'd probably fall over and break something. It's pretty... Is it icy? Yeah, really frosty. But like, probably the coldest day of the year so far, top star. So he's pulling on our heartstrings.

Look, we're so cold down here. He's already tugging at your heartstrings, Megan. So cold. The only thing you've got to do is go to Hammer for the winter festival, Megan. The Alpine festival, Megan. Oh, that sounds delightful. That sounds lovely. I do. The hoppers look amazing with the slides and stuff there now, Megan. The Alpine Festival, Megan. Oh, that sounds delightful. That sounds lovely. I do.

The hot pools look amazing with the slides and stuff there now too. Oh, it's awesome. They've got that big conical thrill. Yeah, so they've got an Alpine Festival. Obviously, the hot pools are the attraction usually of Hamlet, but they've got a whole bunch of food stalls

happening as well as games, kids' activities, adults' activities at night as well. A whole lot happening in Hamlet all weekend long for their Alpine Festy. Still got the bloody rehab centre out there? The rehab centre? Wasn't there a rehab rehab?

I know you're telling the story, mate. Yeah, you know. I was going to... Ask you for a friend. And what else is going on in the South Island this weekend? Literally kicking off the school holidays with a bang. Tomorrow night, the Winter Fireworks Spectacular

back at New Brighton Pier. Oh, amazing. 7.30, the fireworks are lit. We actually, the Hits radio station guys, we're broadcasting live and we have music to match the display as well. Oh, wow. Broadcasting live, it's going to be...

That's very cool. That's amazing. That's tomorrow night in Christchurch. It sounds fantastic Obviously the rugby And Dunedin He didn't even have To mention that

He stuck very close To his home Didn't he He did Alright Hayley We need to pitch your case Why is the North Island Having the best weekend

I really do I really do I'm feeling a bit Threatened now By that weekend Of the South Island Have you got fireworks In the North

Not fireworks, but we do have a rehab. Oh, you've got a rehab centre. Oh, yeah, where's that, mate? How much are they charging? Conveniently got a couple of weeks off. Just going to re-evaluate myself. All right, what's going on?

So we have a festival of Greytown, which actually had fireworks last week. But for the month of July, Greytown, which is a gorgeous, quaint little historical town, comes to life for midwinter Christmas. They've got snowfall outside of the town hall. They've got night markets, Christmas lights everywhere. And I was there last week, had a mulled wine. Oh, that sounds beautiful.

It was wonderful. And the kids stand under the snowfall, which is fake. I probably shouldn't have to say it's fake, but it's fake. They've got real snow in Christchurch, can't you, Connor? Don't you, Connor? Yes. Or ice. It's cold.

So cold. And then moving up north as well, or down depending on where you are in the island, Auckland has an Altair Square ice rink. So this is the rink that's up for just over a month. You can go. Oh, it's so nice. You can go and ice skate. And then they've also got a curling rink.

Oh, I saw that. Yeah, curling, yeah. That's awesome. Yeah, you could train up with the sport and potentially get to the Olympics. So we've got an Olympic weekend. Yeah. What we're lacking in real snow in the north, we're making up with artificial ice and snow. Okay, Megan, it's over to you.

I don't think we can go past Connor, can we? We've got fireworks. We've got thermal hot springs. Oh, yeah. Rehab. Yeah. Rehab. See, they've got it all. It's really cold. Oh, well, hey,. Yeah. Rehab. Rehab centre.

They've got it all. It's really cold. Oh, well, hey, listen, thank you both. Really appreciate it. We are running disgustingly late for news. Our boss, Matt Anderson, we've taken 10 years off his life if he's listening to this right now. So just keep talking, Jono. His last two hair follicles have gone.

That's how late we are. Why don't we keep talking for another 10 minutes Alright news coming up next Just for Matt it is the hits The hits The Jono and Ben podcast Yesterday Megan your mum Ray Ray

She left a very interesting message It was only like one second on your phone I don't think she's ever done a voice memo in her life She sent me a one second message Very unusual So we thought we'd need to call her right now Yeah she's saying no Does she need help? What the heck

was going on? Let's call your mum, Ray. Ray speaking. Ray, slippers, hello. Hello. How are you, Ray, Ray? Hi, Ray, Ray. It's Jono and Ben here as well. Now, Megan was sent a, she's very concerned about a message you sent her. Oh, really?

Hey, do you know anything about this? The message that came through from you, it's only, what, one or two seconds long, Megan? It's one second. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Well, actually, Father's been interfering with my telecommunications equipment. Right.

And I think it's probably come from him. So it's not a you error. Well, shall we play it down to you, Ray-Ray, and you can tell us what was going on here. Oh, okay. Oh, dear. No! Oh.

No! Oh, no! There's something going on. No! Do I want to know what was going on? Is it safe this time on the radio? No. Well, we were cleaning out the wardrobe, and I came across Megan's guitar.

And so I said to her here, what I'll do is I'll play you a few notes. And then he said, and I didn't realize he was actually filming me. And I went, oh, no. I don't do photos. No! It is concerning when your mother sends me a one second message that just goes, no! Oh, okay.

No, it was nothing. He's been playing around with my telephone you see, because I've been practicing on the guitar and I've found my great grandfather's fez hat and then I found something else and I'm trying all this stuff on, and unbeknown to me, he's doing a silent filming. She did send me a big possum jacket and wondered if I wanted that,

and I said I'd be cancelled if I was wearing fur. I was a bit concerned because the possum jacket had the little possum face on it, on the shoulder. Oh, grim! And the last time I got it out, the two little teeth at the front had gone all funny and I felt sure you would love it, but I can't find the possum.

He's gone. On radio she says no, but after she's out, now you definitely want it, Megan, right? Have you still got the face on the shoulder? I can't believe they left faces on them! If you like John, I'll be in one of those the same where these aunties used to have one. Yeah.

Didn't know if it had a head on it or not. Yeah, yeah, like that. I'll bring it up for the boys if you like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll tell you what, I'll take it, right? John, I can have a Macklemore moment and wear a fur coat. Now, you're doing the very parents thing.

My parents do the same. Whenever they come to visit, because you come in to visit Megan, you clear out all of our old stuff and then burden us with it. Jenny Boyce does the same to Ben. Yeah, she does. Yeah, I know what will happen. I'll bring it up, and when I've gone, I'll throw it in the bin. Well, that's what I said.

I didn't want any of it. I said, oh, we'll just put it out and get rid of it. And Mum said, oh, no, you can't do that, and put it back in her car and took it back home. So I was like, oh well, it's on her. She's found certificates of me taking an English test. I don't think I need, also I only got credit.

Like, throw it out. Be sure it's in the will. And don't do singing. No, don't do singing either. I love it. This is a classic parent conversation too. When the other parent joins in as well, my mum and dad do that too. Yeah, he's just come in and is interfering with my conversation too When the other parent Joins in as well My mum and dad

Do that too Yeah he's just come in And is interfering With my conversation Yeah it's your moment And he does that to John And he's like It's mum on the phone

And she's talking In the background All that's missing Is some weather chat Excuse me We've got a beautiful day Let me see what the temperature is Oh it's only seven

Seven Chilly Chilly and Nelson Yeah you definitely Got to have your winter warmers on, but it's a beautiful day, sunny. I've heard every year you call someone from Nelson, they're always like, sunny, it's definitely sunny. Yeah, it's always sunny.

It's the sunshine capital. That's right, we're very passionate about the sun in Nelson, right? Yeah, we had a hurrah of a frost this morning. We had frost on our front lawn, so, yeah, it was a big frost. Oh, Ray, Ray, well, listen, safe travels travels and enjoy your time with the family when you see them. Okay, will do. We might catch up. Oh, so good, your mum.

Was that your mum or was that Tom Sainsbury putting on a character? I don't know. Hey, next. Mike McRoberts, it's the very final day for News Hub. The final bulletin for Mike McRoberts, the legendary news anchor, and he joins us to reflect on over 30 years. It's a pretty incredible run. Next on The Hits. The Hits, the Jon news anchor, and he joins us to reflect on over 30 years. It's a pretty incredible run. Next on The Hits.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. At 06, Teddy Swims feels like he's blown up over the last couple of years. Amazing, amazing voice. He would just put out covers and songs onto YouTube, and now he has taken over the world, it seems. Last night he played in Christchurch. Here's some audio. Incredible voice. He's got Auckland Saturday. He's got Wellington on Sunday and he joins us right now over Zoom. Teddy Swimms, good morning. How's it going? How are you, Teddy? All right?

Yeah, I'm really good, man. Happy to be back. Finally, right? How's Christchurch treating you? Man, absolutely breathtaking. Beautiful, man. The little view from my hotel too is just so beautiful. I mean, you can see the city, but you can also see the mountain behind it with the snow caps on it. It was just absolutely gorgeous. I'm so happy to be back. Oh, it's nice to have you back.

Just a few years ago, you were putting out putting out covers amazing covers and they blew up um it's pretty amazing to look back just a few years and to see what's happened over the last couple of years it's so remarkable man i'm so grateful and lucky and blessed to and it's so all because of you know because of you man and it was so cool you know remember we did the 660 cover too and he just uh they they recently i mean it was a couple months ago now, had did a cover of Losing Control too, which was so wild. He's like, you know, I did their cover four or five years ago now, and now they're doing mine.

It was so beautiful to see. Full circle. Well, I know Teddy Swim's not your real name, and I wanted to pitch another name to you because my wife, big fan, it was probably six months ago, and we were driving around in the car. She does the driving, and I get to choose the music. But I was like, what do you want to listen to? She's like, oh, that guy's got amazing voice tattoos beard jimmy jimmy jimmy fish i think

his name is so what do you think of jimmy fish i love jimmy fish could be your alias now i was like jimmy fish i think you'd be teddy swims but oh i love jimmy fish maybe that's what you can check into hotels now jimmy fish yeah jimmy fish is the one out now i can't though since you just gave it away oh sorry i like jimmy fish but teddy swims is also really good as well now i love your tattoos and i was watching a video last night explaining some of your tattoos and you're like my first tattoo i got was a real douchebag tattoo what was it yeah i got um so i was 16 and it was right here in my arm it said uh it was a cross with my last name and one banner, my real last name, Demsdale. And then established 1992. It was so cool.

Yeah, I mean, by the time I was 18, I was like a completely different person, you know. And so I always tell people, don't let 16 year old get tattoos. You know, they're just they're just different people by the time they're 18. You know, kids just too early to make a long life decision like that. Not that I've got to take tattoo advice from i see you got some on your eyelids yeah they sure are oh my gosh how was that i mean it's kind of like it doesn't hurt as bad as you would think but it's just a wild sensation you know the needle's so small so you kind of feel your eyeball bouncing like with the needle oh my gosh it kind of like

irritates it you cry a little bit underneath it. It doesn't hurt. It's just weird. You know, because your music gets used in special occasions. People use it for wedding songs and moments like that. Have you got your head around how cool that is? Yeah, that is the most. And the amount of times a day I'll go through messages and be like, hey, could you sing at our wedding in 2029? You know, like they're just like, and I love to be the person that gets to be a part of somebody's huge days

and something that, you know, because no matter what happens and no matter all the songs that ever come out in the world, if you have a true love song that was your first dance at your wedding, I'll always be a part of that beautiful moment 30 years from now. Well, yeah, you can just tell you're appreciative of every moment of your career too. But someone locking in their wedding in 2029, it's not like you can say, oh, I've got something else on.

Exactly. Have a smart play on them. It's too far away to know what you're doing. We actually got a number of someone. Do you mind if we call them right now and surprise them? Someone texted in a while ago saying my wedding song was Teddy Swim's version of a Shania Twain song that you do. Still the one. Do you mind if we surprise them with a quick call?

Yeah, we'd love that, of course. Her name's Brittany. She has no idea we're calling, and like Ben said, she actually texted into the studio just on an unrelated matter. Hello, Brittany speaking. Hey, Brittany, it's John O'Bennett and Megan from the Hits radio station. How you doing? Hey, good, thank you. Hey, we're just talking about our wedding song. So what was the song for you, the special song? We chose Teddy Swims' You're Still the One. Oh, what do you love about that song? Everything, really. We loved it when it first came out, but nothing beats Teddy Swim's voice.

Pretty incredible. Actually, speaking of Teddy Swim's voice. Hey, Brittany, what are you doing? Oh, my God. Hey. It's Teddy Swim's. Yeah, they just said let's surprise and call her. And I just want to say thank you.

It's such an honor to be a part of your big day. And I hope you're just absolutely crushing it in your marriage and it's still as beautiful as it was. It is. And we're actually coming to see you on Saturday. Oh, right on. I can't wait to see you guys then. I'll be sticking that for you as well.

If you wouldn't mind doing that song and maybe a little shout out. I sure will. I'll write it down right now. What's your partner's name? Brittany and? Richard. Richard. All right little shout out. I sure will. I'll write it down right now. What's your partner's name? Brittany and? Richard. Richard. All right, shout out.

Still the one. All right, he'll get it tatted on if he forgets it. That is amazing. Thank you guys so much. No worries. Thank you, Jenny. Now, I know why you're here. You're a big supporter of Red Nose Day.

It is Red Nose Day in New Zealand. Yeah, I'm super, super excited. We're going to do some busking on Commercial Bay 2. 5.30 this evening, we're going to go over there. Hopefully we can raise a little money and give some hugs and some kisses and just raise some money for the best cause in the world. Well, we'll come down. I can act as, I don't know what your security team's like. I can be security. I've learned the ancient art of sobbing. If anyone starts attacking us, mate, it just kind of weeds them out and they stop beating you up.

Well, I cannot wait. Yeah, man, tell everybody, though. Come on down there. Tell your mama, your dog, your next door neighbor. We're going to party. We're going to have a good singing. Teddy, look after yourself. We'll see you this afternoon

downtown Auckland. Teddy Swims is busking live for Red Nose Day around 5.30, Commercial Bay. Can't wait to see you, buddy, in the flesh and have a safe trip.

I can't wait to see you guys. He's in New Zealand playing Christchurch safe trip. Okay, way to see you guys. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. He's in New Zealand, played Christchurch last night. We just spoke to him before, ahead of his Auckland concert Saturday night, Wellington on Sunday. And today, if you're in the O9 region, you can catch him 5.30.

He's going to be busking for free for Red Nose Day, which is a beautiful thing he's doing. Playing a couple of songs at Britomart at 5.30 today. If you don't turn up, you don't like children. That's official. That's very cool. Now, we just actually had a really cool moment with Teddy Swims as well. He surprised Brittany. He does a version of this Shania Twain song.

And that was Brittany's wedding song, the Teddy Swims version of that. And we had Brittany be surprised with Teddy Swims on a call. Hey, Brittany, what are you doing? Oh my god, hey It's Teddy Swims Yeah, they just said let's surprise and call her and I just want to say thank you, it's such an honour to be a part of your big day and I hope

you're just absolutely crushing it in your marriage and it's still as beautiful as it was Isn't he lovely? He's a lovely guy What was your wedding song, Megan Pappas? Mine was Young and Beautiful. Not this song. What's your wedding song?

Was this the dance mix of Lana Del Rey's Young and Beautiful? Was your wedding in a nightclub? It's from the Great Gatsby. Will you still love me when I'm still young and beautiful? Yeah, because he's young still love me When I'm still young and beautiful Yeah Because he's young And I'm beautiful

No longer young and beautiful Yeah There's the only one in there Is the Cedric Gervais remix of it Oh yeah Well let's play the remix anyway So we

We know what it kind of sounds like It kind of Yeah it kind of works Isn't it We just dance down the aisle Yeah It's always a big choice for wedding songs. We had a John Legend song and a Jack Johnson song,

which meant a lot to us in our relationship. But what happened, because the people were running. We got married in Fiji and my wife Amanda and getting ready. They were running really late and it wasn't really her fault. They were just running behind the people at the beauty salon. So we were waiting for like 45 minutes. It was like 45 minutes, hot sun, waiting at this little chapel thing in Fiji.

And my iPad was sort of playing music to try and keep everyone entertained. My iPhone, sorry. And it was just on shuffle. Dangerous, dangerous game. And just as Amanda arrived and said a John Legend, just by chance, this song came on. Oh, no.

It was only by chance. Amanda's looking at me like, are you doing this as a gag? I'm like, no, I'm not. Firstly, I don't have a lot of money, so you're not a gold digger. Please tell me it was the uncensored version. No, it was. Thankfully, it was the censored version. That would be Ben's worst nightmare.

Yeah. Not dropping in bombs She's a gold digger She's not Listen I found Your Lana Del Rey song On Apple Music Oh thanks

She's got an amazing Voice Lana Del Rey My husband is Ten years younger than me So it felt fitting Because I'm going to be older We've never brought that up Once on the show I'm going to be older. We've brought that up once on the show. I'm going to be a lot older than him, so I'll get wrinkly first.

What was the song from your first wedding? I can't remember. It was that nightclub version of that. It was Doom from the Ginga. Oh my God, I can't remember. There's marriage like a party, baby. So we want to know this morning, it is a Friday, it's a fun Friday thing. What's your wedding song?, baby. So we want to know this morning,

it is a Friday, it's a fun Friday thing. What's your wedding song? Why did it mean a lot to you? We'll find some hell pizza for us. The funnier, the better,

but if it's heartfelt and wholesome, we'd love to take that as well. We'd love to hear from you. Your wedding song on 0800 The Hits. Megan,

you talked about playing young and Beautiful. Not this version. Oh, we like this version. The depressing Lana Del Rey one. Oh, no, it's beautiful. No, it is a gorgeous song. It is.

And you asked me what my song was for my first wedding. I've been married twice. I don't remember. But I do remember we had an inappropriate playlist playing in the church before I arrived. So it was songs like You Too, Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For, I think ACDC Highway to Hell.

Nice. And when I arrived, it was like the final countdown. Yeah. So, yeah. By the end of the marriage, they really hit different, didn't they? Yeah. You're like, that's funny. And you're like, was it?

Was it? Yeah, it was. So you want to know your wedding songs. I know, Andrew, they had so many calls to text on this one. Yeah, we'll get Helen on from Porirua. How are you? Hey, morning, team. Lovely to have you on, Helen.

What was it at your wedding, mate? So a little bit of background. I was late 50s and my husband was in his 60s. This was two years ago. Right. And I played Meghan Crane as their future husband. Oh. As I walked down the aisle. That's a great song.

Aw, cute. Bit late to give him all those messages then. What was funny was he couldn't hear it. All he could see was everybody standing either side of the aisle cracking up laughing. Oh. And he couldn't work out why. How could he not hear the song?

I think nerves, maybe. Oh, yeah. He was in his head. And then you're saying your friend pulled a prank on her partner. Yes. So my friends got married

and as they walked down the aisle, the best man actually swapped out the song to another one, Bites of Dust. Well, that's the best man material. Wedding prank. Not a time to prank.

Not a time to prank. Fortunately, the bride had a great sense of humour, otherwise he was dead. That's great. Really appreciate your call, Helen. Thank you so much. Mine was Fleetwood Mac everywhere. I want to be with you everywhere.

Now, ironically, after nearly 20 years of marriage, I don't think Jean wants to be with me anywhere. I don't want to be with you anywhere. And I don't blame her. I'm a giant pain in the ass. Romy, how are you? Good, thanks. How are you doing?

We're doing well. It's Friday. You can't be bad on a Friday. What was your wedding song, Romy? Absolutely. Our wedding song was Shania Twain's Forever and Always. It's a little bit cheesy, and she's not even our favourite artist It's gorgeous and we all like it

Cheesy as it is, wherever it is, we all get a little bit Apologies to Shania Twain if she's listening there Not our favourite artist, a little bit cheesy But we had to choose something But we love the song And then my father did, we did Family Affair Because he didn't want to dance to a cheesy dad-daughter song. And it just set the tone to my daughter being born to Jimi Hendrix, Star Spangled Banner.

Oh, there you go. Well, 4th of July right now in America, so it probably makes sense. Very patriotic of you. I appreciate that. We'll get Megan on. How are you, Megan? You doing well? Yeah, I'm good.

Yeah, good. Good, thank you. Yeah, good. Good to know all the Megans in our lives are doing well. What was yours? Mine was the Greatest American Hero theme song. Was that the mouse? The little mouse?

No, no, it was like a superhero song. A superhero show, yeah. He was a bit of a bumbling idiot from what I remember, but he was a superhero, yeah. I think you're thinking of a movie, The Great American Tail or something. Oh, that's what I was thinking of. That was a great cartoon. A little mouse went to America.

A little mouse that could. Different. Chased his dreams. Hey, good on you, Megan. Appreciate it. That's not what we're talking about right now. Thank you. But let's all agree it was a great movie.

Hey, Chelsea Handler, she's, US comedian in the country right now, and she's joining us next, which is pretty cool. Yeah, and her relationship with Piers Morgan, the talk show host, she hates him. We'll get into this next. It's 8.31, it is The Hits. You got Jono and Ben? The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

Chelsea Handler, a very, very funny US comedian. She's in the country right now. Auckland tonight at the Town Hall and then Wellington on Saturday night since James said the last tickets you can get available right now for Ticketmaster. You'll know her from her chat show as well, Chelsea Handley at Chelsea Lately, which is on E!

for a long period of time. She's very funny. Chelsea, good morning and welcome. Good morning and welcome. Thank you for having me. It's so nice to have you here in New Zealand. We've talked to you a couple of times over Zoom, but it's nice to actually see you. Oh yeah, I know.

I love coming to different countries that are not my own. One thing that makes us very happy is that the weather's okay. Cold, but we know you like the snow, but it's nice and clear skies. Yes, we went yesterday to Wahiki. We went to a winery and we sat outside for four hours. They gave me a blanket and we just looked at this. Obviously we were drinking because we were at a winery and we sat outside for four hours. They gave me a blanket and we just looked at this. And obviously we were drinking because we were at a winery,

which is another thing I never really do. I never drink wine. But I know if I'm in New Zealand, you know, you have to try the wine. So, yeah, it's nice to spend time here. I have like two days of free time. Do you get that much in your role? In my role as a person? Yes, you get free time. I get a nice a person? She gets free time.

I get a nice balance of free time and work time. I like to hit it hard so that I can vacation hard. Because last time you were here, you put the call out. You put a video out looking for a lover. I think I found one last time I was here. Hopefully I don't run into him again. With a lover like that, has he got your number or are you like, no, let's never speak of this?

I mean, I just, yeah, I think everyone has my number. I think it's pretty public because I get a lot of incoming calls. I've stopped answering my phone because I don't want to change my number. Yeah, I don't think it's hard to get my number if you're trying to contact me. I think you can find it online. Can you? Probably. I mean, I'm not encouraging that.

And by the way, like I said, I don't answer. I'm almost cursed. and by the way like i said i don't oh i don't answer it i was almost cursed and then i caught myself because i know we're on radio so you're welcome i would have thought someone like you would have multiple phones on the go no i'm pretty basic i don't know i don't have time for that i'm not really you know a very good with technology so i just you know if i can answer the phone at all that's going to be a bonus what kind of so you've answered the phone to a couple of weirdos. What kind of things do they say to you? People want money, is usually people.

Really? Yeah. People are always, if you look through my DMs, it's like, my dog has some disease and you're my last hope. And you want to help these people. And in the beginning of my career, I would. I would give money to strangers. Would you?

And then someone tried to sue me for giving them money. So I was advised by my business managers never. Yes, I gave somebody money to get their teeth fixed because I made a joke about people who don't have teeth in the South. And there was a Southern woman and she said, you know, not everybody can afford teeth. And I was like, well, I'll buy you teeth. Okay, you're right.

Not everybody can afford. And so it was like $10,000 or $15,000 to get this woman a everybody can afford teeth. And I was like, well, I'll buy you teeth. Okay, you're right. Not everybody can afford. And so it was like $10,000 or $15,000 to get this woman a full set of teeth. And then she didn't like them and wanted another set of teeth. Oh my God. And then my lawyers are like, please stop responding to people.

You can't buy people teeth. And I was like, message received loud and clear. I love the gall of it too. Oh, these don't suit my mouth. I was like, yeah, exactly. She was like, I got her teeth. I was like, and she wanted to love the gall of her too. They don't suit my mouth. Yeah, exactly. She was like, I got her teeth and she wanted to return the teeth. So, I mean, you really can't win. You can't. I guess you can't

try before you buy. No, no. Now I just don't open my DMs. It's like, because you do feel sympathy for people. You want to help people, but you can't help everybody and who knows what these people are up to. But I think that's why people are drawn to you because you're such a genuine person and i feel like what you see is what you get with you and there's one moment that i'd love to love to play with you it's one of my favorite moments

it's you and pierce morgan so pierce morgan's interviewing you and then during the ad break he's on his phone or something i mean you can't even pay attention for 60 seconds you're a terrible interviewer well you just weren't keeping my attention. That's more an issue for you than me. That's not my problem. It is your problem. This is your show. You have to pay attention to the guests that you invited on your show.

They're interesting enough. Yeah, they are. Listen, it doesn't matter how interesting I am. You signed up for this job. That's why your job is coming to an end. Yeah, he's terrible. He's so terrible. The worst interviewer of all time.

Well, I wanted to know, what was he looking at on his phone? Who knows? Probably porn. Who cares? He's so annoying. I know. So many times. Thank you.

I'm pretty proud of that clip. When I watch it, I was like, I mean, I laugh. Like, oh my God, that's so funny that I said that. I must have been really tired that day and had no, you know, I can't curse, but you know, no what's left in me. But more than that, it's like you know i can't curse but you know know what's left in me but more than that it's like you up against a bully and in that situation most of the time we know what we want to say but nothing comes out eloquently you were so calm and you're just like calling him out yeah yeah it was an out-of-body experience because the interview has to end at some point is it

awkward afterwards oh yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah, he hates me. I mean, I welcome that kind of hate. But yeah, after the interview, he's like, wow, you really did it. I'm like, you know, I kept going. I was like, I could have recorded that too. Yelling at him as I'm leaving his studio. We've got Chelsea Handler here.

She's performing in Auckland and also Wellington. You've been to New Zealand a couple of times. Wanted to play a quick game with you. I've got some New Zealand things in my bag. Okay. And I want to see if you can guess what they are from the name of it. We'll do that next. It is The Hits.

You've got Jono and Ben. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Trustful on your Friday morning. Chelsea Handler in the country right now Playing Auckland tonight and Wellington on Saturday night She's with us in the studio Thanks for hanging out Chelsea Wanted to play a quick game with you I've got some New Zealand things in my bag

I'll say what the name of it is If you can guess what it is you get to keep it Oh okay Okay No high stakes for me To be honest he's so nice He's going to give you the shirt anyway Okay. Okay. First one. Okay. No high stakes for me. Okay. You get to get it. Okay.

To be honest, he's so nice, he's going to give you the shirt anyway. Okay. Or not. Okay. Okay. Hokey pokey. Hokey. No. I don't know what that is.

You want to have a stab at it? Okay. A hokey pokey is like a snack, like something you eat. Yeah. You're right. It's ice cream. Here we go. It's some ice cream.

Oh, perfect. I can travel back with that. Okay. That feels like a burden of a gift to give you, like ice cream. Okay, ginger nuts. Ginger nuts are nuts that you eat that taste like ginger. Well, yeah, a lot of the time. They're not quite nuts.

They're biscuits called ginger nuts. Oh, okay, okay. That's a legit dipper tip. So you're kind of, yeah, I'll give you that one. A bit of a warning about those, Chelsea. You do need to dip them in moisture because they are like rocks. You would actually have to buy yourself new teeth if you are. Okay, so you have to dip the nuts in moisture?

Yeah, like people dip them in the, yeah, dipping nuts, yeah. I feel like there's a lot of sexual in you. There are, yeah. Pokey, pokey, ginger testicles. Don't answer that. Yeah, okay, I see where we're going. Okay, pineapple lumps. Pineapple lumps.

Those are tennis balls. Oh, look at that. We're also, again, we're going down the food route. They're kind of little chocolate with pineapple in between. They're quite nice. Oh, I had a chocolate fish earlier today. Do you know about those? Yeah, you like, yeah.

Yeah, is that what a New Zealand thing is? They're traditional. Chocolate fish, too? Yeah, okay. I'd never heard of it. You've never heard of a chocolate fish before? No, no. It was scary when I first heard about it. Chocolate fish? Where's You've never heard of a chocolate fish before? No, no. It was scary when I first heard about it.

A chocolate fish? Where's the chocolate coming from? Okay, we've got Chelsea White Sugar. Cocaine? I wish it was cocaine, but it's 500... Try and snort it and see what happens. 500 grams, too, of Chelsea White Sugar. And finally, a saying.

If we said, up the whas, what do you think that would be? Up the waz. These are very leading. Up the waz. Can you use it in a sentence? Well, you'd say it more support.

Like if you went on stage tonight, Auckland, and you went up the waz, you'll get a great cheer. Because we're going to have a fun night? Yeah, a little bit.

A good time? There's a team called the Warriors. They're a league team. We've got a top for you here for the Warriors. Oh, okay. So I don't know anything. Well, that's why we're trying to teach you while you're in New Zealand. We've got a top for you here for the Warriors. Oh, okay. So I don't know anything.

Well, that's why we're trying to teach you while you're in New Zealand. I know. Well, thank you. There we go. The Warriors league team. And everyone says up the waz because the Warriors. Should I wear that on stage? Oh, my God.

When you come out on stage, you say up the waz. That would bring the house down. That would bring the house down. I'm definitely saying. Because we only have one league team and that's it. So everyone's on board. And are they a good team? Yeah, they're good.

Yeah, good. Yeah, but a lot of passionate support. And up the, it's short for Warriors, I guess, up the waz. Okay. All right. We're not making you's it. So everyone's on board. And are they a good team? Yeah, they're good. Yeah, good. Yeah, but a lot of passionate support. It's short for Warriors, I guess, up the wars. Okay. All right. We're not making you say a swear word or anything. You're like, is this a racial slur? Yeah.

Can you imagine? Everyone's like, boom. But they told me. They told me. They told me to say it at the radio show. Listen, Chelsea, this has been an absolute pleasure to hang out with you. Thank you. Thanks for having me, guys and women.

Thank you. The token chick. You know how it is. Yeah, yeah, I know. I know. Oh, okay. Well, at least you two have a YouTube sub-band. All right.

I'll bet you've got us then. Isn't it funny how men get an attitude the minute you say you're a token chick? They're like, what? What? What? Well, there's not two women here, is there? There is now. The numbers are even now.

Yeah, you guys, get out of here. I'm out of here. I'm out of here. Charles Candler, Auckland, Wellington, I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. Okay, I just need a straw for that white sugar. I'll be back next time, guys.

Thank you. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.