Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL SHOW: The boys are paying for their trip—with leech-filled labour!

Episode Date: May 21, 2025

On today’s show: Dilhan reveals the truth behind their special Dilmah trip Why was Ben’s lowlight of the trip… music director Ashlee? Megan has decided to hug a tree—just to see if it hugs her back The surprising benefits of leeches! Why Ben is now known as “the white guy” How many bidets can you really find in Sri Lanka? Why did Matty from the Drive show leave a trail of destruction? Instagram: @THEHITSBREAKFASTFacebook: The Hits Breakfast with Jono, Ben & MeganSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Jono, Ben and Megan podcast, thanks to Dilma. Goodness really does taste great. Dilma, making the world a better team. Welcome to the podcast. We are still on... Chalank... Chalank... Oh, jeez.

I know. Jono's got a pad with lots of buttons on it and it has effects of... Like, sound effects. It doesn't affect my voice, but I'm not going to talk. It's like... No talk, it's funny. Yeah. Oh, my God.

It's not working out, mate. Anyway. The wheels are off. The wheels are off. They are off. They are off. We've only got one more to do after this, so we'll try and make it through to the finish line, Megan.

But how's things in New Zealand? How are you going? Do you know what? It's very cold this week. It's been pretty good weather but it's pretty cold we've got budget day today other than that not much budget it's the most hyped up yeah but also the same time disappointing day on the new zealand really nothing ever happened i mean there may be little bits here or there, you know, but it doesn't seem like it. No matter what government's in power. No, you're right.

Yeah. Yeah. And she did say it's not going to be unicorns and rainbows. So I don't think it's going to be very exciting. Well, that's funny because they were promising unicorns and rainbows when they were campaigning to get into Parliament. Yeah. Yeah.

But the thing is, when you get into power power you can't really do too much can you? Really? Whether you're labour or not blue or red, you're kind of stuck It's probably a lot harder than it seems when you're out of power It's a lot easier to throw stones when you're out of there I guess but yeah

I hope that goes well for everyone You're built in on that one What would you like to save money on? If you could save money on anything in your life? Daycare. What would you like? Really? Daycare, yeah. Yeah, subsidy for daycare, that's a good one.

Weren't they going to do that? And then they're like, oh, no, actually, we can't. I thought there was in the first year or two. Nah, it's once they turn two, you get a little bit of a reprieve. Oh, okay. Yeah. So you're talking all of daycare. You'd like a full subsidy, half subsidy?

What are we talking? Just a little bit cheaper would be nice. A little bit cheaper, yeah. That's good. How about you, Ben? How would you like subsidised by the government? I would like... I tell you what, I'd like to go back to free sport all the time.

On TV? Yeah. Just get free all the time. That's a good idea. Isn't that the thing in australia if it's of national importance i think it is yeah if like if it's a big australian cricket game or something like that yeah then they would yeah it's actually really good but then sky would be like oh thanks mate yeah i don't want people to lose their jobs or anything so do you want free sport or not mate because there's going to be casualties. Not if it comes with casualties.

Yeah, I don't know if Sky's in a position to do charity work at the moment. Well, they can get their jobs. They're still providing the sport for free. The government's paying for it. But then they'll be spending money on sport. It's a slippery slope. I see why it's hard to get anything done in Parliament. You said you wanted a free rugby league.

I might just turn them down. This luxurious trip that these boys are on, turns out there might be a catch. It's first in the podcast today. You guys need to go to bed. Yeah, we do. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast.

The hits. Of course, we're here in Sri Lanka. It's getting close to one o'clock in the morning here right now. You're looking like a million bucks, Jono. Thank you. The Heads. Do you guys need a moment? Yeah, no, no. It's the time zones, eh? Is this the 1am banter from Jono Pryor? They are a thing. They are definitely a thing. Yeah, they're definitely a thing. You know when you're in the planning, you're like, no, it's all right, we'll just do the show at midnight.

I regret every minute of that planning. Also, you're like lazing on this beautiful couch with a Bird of Paradise pattern on it. You're like legs up, lying back. I know, this could not be. There's a butler service at any stage you want here. Somehow found a way to moan. I'd like the butler to take me to, can the butler finish this show? Of course, we have been over here.

Thanks to Dilmar. And two lucky people will win two trips for two to Sri Lanka to experience some of the amazing things that we got to experience, minus Jono looking like a sack of spuds, sack of spanners. But yeah, you could be staying here

in this amazing accommodation and also visiting the Wild Coast as well, where they've got a resort, Dilmar, too. You can go and see the wonderful schools that they have for the disadvantaged children and those in the community. See how they rehabilitate elephants, go on safaris. There's so many things that we've got to experience that you could

and we're very excited about people getting to come over in here and do it. And we're like, this is such a great trip, you know, this is amazing. But there was a little bit of a catch, right? Dilhan, who's the big – so Dilma is named after Meryl, who was the gentleman who started Dilma, named him after his son Dilhan. Okay, finish strong. Keep going. Keep going.

Stick with it. Keep going. Stick with it. And – Stick with it keep going stick with it and stick with it John Oak see Malik Dilma is

from a family it's a family name it's basically two names it's the two names of his sons put together Dil and Ma

it's easy to explain but anyway I don't know why but I just enjoyed that quite a lot just watching his brain just shut down in real time anyway so runs the tea company and malik runs the resorts the dilma resorts anyway we spoke to dilma uh dilhan today and uh well it turns out this trip comes with a bit of a catch-22 what an amazing trip we have experienced so many amazing things thank you so much

from the bottom of our hearts for us. It's really been special. Did anyone tell you? What's that? No, gosh, I don't know how to put this, but, you know,

there's no such thing as a free holiday. Right. You know that, right? We've just been on one. There definitely is. Well, there is if we leave now

and don't hear the rest of your sentence. So 6am tomorrow, you'll be reporting to the manager. Oh, so we're kind of like working it off. Well, yeah. What did you think? For how many years?

It's been a pretty amazing trip. I feel like we're saying goodbye to our families now and we're working here in the tea fields. You'll get your passports back once we've balanced the value. Okay. It seems only fair. It does seem fair. They did take our passports actually when we arrived. Yeah, they did.

So we're working in the tea fields. So without a word of a lie, we're working in the tea fields tomorrow. Ben is very nervous because leeches. Yeah. They're a concern. They are a concern. Many, many leeches in the tea fields as well. So that'll be something we can worry about tomorrow. Yeah, they're a concern. They are a concern. Many, many leeches in the tea fields as well.

So that'll be something we can worry about tomorrow. But yeah, someone will get to win this amazing trip. The Dilmar tea boxes will be in the stores pretty shortly. Without a word of a lie, apparently leeches can enter your body. Enter your body, Megan. He's just winding you up, Ben. No, I'm not. I'm not.

Without a word of a lie. I've heard some horror stories. Jono, Ben and Ben. No, I'm not. I'm not. But that's a word of a lie. I've heard some horror stories. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. It's still only near, what's it, Wednesday in Sri Lanka at the moment. That's right. So, yeah, we're still enjoying Wednesday. How's Thursday going for you over there, Megan?

It's actually pretty cold around the country today. So you enjoy that moistness over there. You'll get a cold hit when you come back. Anything we have to look forward to on Thursday? Nah, not yet. Not so far. Sing out if there's anything we need to look out for. It's coming our way.

Of course, we have been travelling around Sri Lanka, a beautiful country, experiencing some pretty amazing things. So packing a lot into our four or five days so far. Safaris, doing all sorts, visiting schools, tea plantations, lots of stuff. We're staying, honestly, at the moment, Megan, we're staying in Dilmar's tea trail, which was colonised by the British many years ago. And we're staying in a house at the moment with a butler. Oh, you're joking.

Not one butler, five butlers. Yeah, there's a lot. They're the ones that keep calling me Mr Ben. They will take care of the people that win this trip. It's pretty incredible. I had someone washing my hands for me. This trip looks absolutely up my alley. I changed my mind.

Yeah. So this is where people will be staying. Yeah, this is pretty incredible. Right next to the tea fields here. It's just an amazing spot. I could order you something right now and he would have it sent to you by the end of the show. See, this is wasted on Ben

because he'll order something and then he'll be like, oh, no, no, only if it's no trouble. Oh, actually, I'll just go get it. I'll go get it. Don't worry. You sit down. Like, it's just wasted on him. Yeah, and I don't like upsetting people and I've upset Ashley. Ashley Bryce, CEO of Music.

She's on the trip with us, doing a great job helping us produce the radio and social media. But we're at dinner tonight and, you know, everyone went, well, highs and lows of the trips. And they went, start with Ben. And then they're like, quickly, Ben. And I was trying to go through a catalogue of all the things that we'd done.

To be honest, it's hard to think of a low. Yeah. And so I was trying to think of a low. And there wasn't many. I mean, maybe I should have gone with the fact that I was quite scared of all the animals that could have hurt me. But I didn't. I went with a funny, I thought a comical funny moment where myself and Ashley

were outside one of those camping, you know, the camping pods in the middle of the jungle, and she was trying to airdrop some photos from one phone to another. It was taking a long time, wasn't it? It was taking a long time. Not your fault, it was the connection, but I was just like, I needed to get inside away from the snakes and scorpions. This was taking a long time. Not your fault. It was the connection. But I was just like, I needed to get inside away from the snakes and the scorpions. This was taking a while. The poor guy from the resort was also standing there. I was making light bandit with him for like five, ten minutes while he was standing around with a torch. Can I just say, what did you two expect?

You're trying to Bluetooth files in the middle of the freaking jungle. And you're getting annoyed about the duration of the... Well, I just went, that was maybe my low of the trip, waiting around for that. But you specifically said, with Ashley. This is where you're upset with me on this, right? So she features in this low point of the journey so far. All I'm hearing is that Ashley is your low.

Yes, thank you, Megan. I keep saying, don't worry, I'll take the fight. You're like, no, no no no no it's all right the blue circle's almost completed and then I'd start maybe you should have said the blue tooth was your low not Ashley's alright the blue tooth was my low

standing out there with all sorts of poisonous animals and insects about to get me but anyway and in the end we didn't even get the photos through no we didn't and now we have a low point to talk about is this your low point of the trip Ashley? get me but anyway and in the end we didn't even get the photos through no we didn't no and now we have a low point to talk about is this your low point of the trip no my low point is sitting here with you every night till two in the morning till two in the morning that's my low point we're in a room with a bath and we're like just go and have a bath but she's like

do you know how weird that sounds yeah yeah open room okay okay creep jono ben and megan the podcast the heads 22nd of may and apparently someone it looks sharp uh i had some chris christmas decorations and and Christmas music playing this week. Oh, I'll forgive Christmas decorations, but not the music. The music's a bit early. Really? They've gone super early. Have they forgotten to turn off the Christmas music? Maybe.

I've fallen into the same issue with a present that I was meant to gift to family, to some friends of ours, and I never did it. And we're getting halfway through the year now, so I'm at the crossroads whether I decide to throw the presents out because the kids have aged so much or transfer it over to 2026. A new Christmas present. Yeah. Just get in there early.

Now, Megan, you're wanting to do something you've seen online. Yeah, and I know you're going to take the piss out of this, but just hear me out. I've seen a few people do this because trees are living things, right? We know they're alive. They grow. They move. But some people have tried to, well, they're hugging a tree, and then they want the tree to move its branches to touch them.

Listen to this. Lower your branch and touch my shoulder, please. Lower. And move closer to my voice, please. Can you come come and move closer to my voice please can you come closer and move closer to my voice closer thank you and then it touches her face the branch touches her face yeah and i've seen a few people do this where the the branch is like slowly moving slowly moving and then eventually it kind of like the leaf touches their face. Yeah, because off camera,

she's got one of her mates with a bloody reusable tote bag wearing Birkenstocks moving the branch that you can't see. Or either that or a thing called wind. Wind that sometimes makes branches from trees move. I hate to dispel your theory. No, but it's not that windy. It wasn't that windy. So you're saying what? If you consensually hug a tree, it's going to touch your back?

Well, you instruct it where you want it to, like, touch you. Okay. Now I'm explaining it to you. I realize it sounds crazy. I was just willing to try it because, you know, I'm not in Sri Lanka on a tea plantation with butlers, okay? I need things to fill my day. All right, if you want to get a bit touched by a tree, then that's fine.

We have butlers to hug us. With real arms, not branches for arms. I'm going to try it. I'm going to video it. Well, do. Okay. Do. I used to.

And let us know. Let us know tomorrow, same time, how you went hugging a tree. Yeah. If you see me on the street talking to a tree, just walk by. I always do. And let us know. Let us know tomorrow, same time, how you went hugging a tree. Yeah. If you see me on the street talking to a tree, just walk by. I'm okay. We've only left you for four days and the wheels have really fallen off, haven't they? All right, Chloe Swarbrick, what's coming up next, mate?

Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. It's on our Dilmar Golden Teabag ticket mission where someone could win a trip for two, or two trips to give away to Sri Lanka to experience some of the amazing things that we've got to experience so far here in Sri Lanka. It has been, honestly, a journey of a lifetime.

I don't think, I won't forget this until I start getting Alzheimer's in about two years. It'll live with me forever. It's so many special experiences which you can win as well very surreal, so many surreal moments going on safaris staying within these camping pods in the jungle

for me, I'm a nervous guy, I'm a bit of a wuss I'm okay with that but I was a bit scared about going outside of my camping pod in the middle of the jungle there's scorpions we saw. They talked to snakes. We saw an elephant on the pathway.

The scorpions weren't talking to the snakes. Just to clarify when he says that. He might have been imagining that part. We'll get him later. Now that you're out of the jungle, can you look back and be like, oh, wow, that was amazing? Yeah, oh, yeah, incredible. Well, no, not quite, not quite,

because now he's worried about a new set of species. Yeah, well, I was already looking back, Megan. I was already going, great, amazing, so good, tick that box, so good, moving on. Carrying up here to, you know, we carried on to where we are in the tea trails where they pick the tea for Dilmar tea, and we're going to get to experience that tomorrow. Yeah, there's 14,000 people who pick the tea, hand-picked, hand-picked from the top of the tea. Hand-picked from the source at the moment.

It's crazy to be in the middle of this. And this was, you know, the house we're in right now, 100 years old. Yeah. So a lot of history here. Yeah, it's really amazing. But the problem is, throughout all these plants, there's leeches. Yeah. We're just learning about that.

Not two leeches who have latched on to a free holiday for seven days in Sri Lanka. Yeah. But leeches. And we got talking to Amrit from Dilmar about his experience with leeches. Leeches. Yeah, they're everywhere. Everywhere. You weren't just talking about Jono and Ben coming across and...

No, no, no. ...leeching a free seven days off you and your family? These little things that go around and they're like worms. You can't get rid of them. So, no, seriously, there's leeches out here? Yeah, yeah, there are leeches everywhere. When it gets moist and wet, they all come out and they get on dogs and all the humans that are

walking around. So you've got to watch out. So they latch on and start sucking the blood? That's right. I mean, most people say it's good. I mean, it's a medical practice. It takes out all the bad blood, according to my father as well. Oh, they suck out all the toxins? All the toxins, all the bad stuff.

It's a Chinese medical practice, actually. They put it on your back. Oh, really? Maybe Tanner Smith could have found out about that before the bad blood song think it's a Chinese medical practice actually they put on your back all right maybe tennis Smith could have found out about that before the bad buds on but anyway okay so we have you had leeches on you before I got a terrible lead story you went up my pants and you don't find out until the blood starts rushing out yeah my underpants were a different color when I put them on did you not notice it was in there you don't feel it you don't feel it it just latches on sucks all the blood and then falls off when it's full and so does it how big does it expand to from oh well I don't have

an exact figure but they're from a very small small about like five centimeters they get to about 10 wow so if I feel any unusual growth in that particular region I'll be like oh that's better than it was. Something else to worry about on our trip. Leeches. Okay the new worry. Every day he's got a new worry. New fear unlocked. Oh that's so grim. Yeah that's grim. We've heard that if you sprinkle salt on them, they unlatch. Yeah. But they expand full of your blood over a five-minute period, and it sucks out all the toxins in your body.

So maybe it's a good thing. A great thing. Yeah. So we'll keep you updated with that tomorrow, Megan, as we head into the tea trails. Jono, Ben, and Megan. The podcast. The podcast. The hits.

Of course, it's been an amazing time. And we're so thankful and grateful for Dilma for this whole thing, experiencing all these amazing things. And they are so lovely and caring people over here. But maybe a little too far for me because I've become known for something, Megan. And we wanted to know on 0800THEHITS,

what have you become known for? Because Megan, and we wanted to know on 0800THEHITS, what have you become known for? Because the first time we were having lunch together, they were... Catastrophizing? Well, yeah. Are we guessing? Well, you can. The skinny cat?

I'll put my hand up and say yes. Yeah, they were all valid things. But this one, I was... You've become known as the most neurotic white man ever to be in Sri Lanka. Yeah, and that's probably valid. That's valid. Did you take your

hand sanitizer with you? Yeah, mate, I've got boxes of hand sanitizer, mate. You put an old suitcase in those. Carry-on luggage.

Sorry, carry on. So first lunch, we're going out there we're having some, you know, trying some Sri Lankan food, which was great

to experience. And the question got asked, what do you like with spices? Do you like spicy food? And I said, look, I can eat it and I will eat it, but I don't enjoy it as much as food that is, you know, I can do a little bit of spice, but if it's too spicy, it starts getting to not be enjoyable for me. So that's how I explained it.

I will eat it. I'll politely eat it, but it's not my, you know, you know me, I'm a people pleaser. I'll do, I'll eat whatever. So that, from that point on,

uh, the table, they didn't say anything then, but, uh, from every meal, that point on, uh,

as soon as a waiter comes up to say, you know, what would you like? The first thing everyone says is, oh, he has a very weak stomach. Yeah. It's gone back. He doesn't like spicy food it upsets his tummy i don't know where the upset tummy part came into it he has a very fragile weak stomach yeah but now it's it's front-footed everywhere we go by

someone from the dilmar team uh internationally famous weak stomach. The funny thing is, Megan, like people we had never dined with before, before the waiter asks, they say, so the words travel to them, they say, please, nothing too spicy for our fragile stomach friend over here. It's like there's a group chat going on or something about me. You're right. If I put it, we hear you've got a bit of a fragile stomach. It's like a giant group email has been sent out to Sri Lanka. It's John Owen's sensitive bean.

So that's what I've become known for. I am very sensitive, but my stomach's not that sensitive. But I've become known as the sensitive stomach guy. So, O-N-R-I-T-S, 4487, what have you become known for? Maybe it was justified or maybe it wasn't. I was pee pants prior once at primary You pee your pants once at primary school

and that really clings to the pants too and the nickname for a number of years. You Megan? I've been a cougar for a lot of my adult life because my husband's 10 years younger than me He's in his 30s like we could probably move on from the cougar i reckon yeah you're probably right now we could but it's

not great if we move on from there there's a few sri lanka national parks they're looking for some more cougars so we could probably get you over here now john o ben and megan the podcast the hats broadcasting uh live as we're on our Dilmar tour around the country Putting a couple of golden teabag tickets inside two teabag boxes We're in the hills of Sri Lanka at the moment, aren't we? The highest point in Sri Lanka? Yeah I'll say that

No one's going to question it We're quite vague too, you don't know which hill So you're just going to say it's the highest quite vague too, you know, which hill. So, yeah, let's just say it's the highest hill. Say some stuff. Say some stuff and move on. But we're at one of Dilmar's three resorts that they have here in Sri Lanka, one of which you could be staying at. This is the tea trail where all the tea is grown and handpicked at the source

by all these wonderful people, 14,000 people who live around here. And they pick all the tea and Dilma pay for all their services. They pay for the hospital, the doctor, the shops here, everything. Yeah, it's pretty impressive. It's like its own little city. Yeah. Yeah. Dilhan's like Dilhan who runs Dilma.

He's like, I can't walk down the road because then everyone comes up to him and is like, we need another temple, or you need to put another supermarket in. So he has to try and avoid conversations. It's amazing all the wonderful things Dilma do. For communities like that, they pretty much set up a whole community, animals as well, helping elephants get back into the wild. It's just really incredible to see what they do. They really do give back.

A lot of kindness. A lot of kindness. And it's really nice to see. And I tell you what, everywhere you go in this country, Megan, they offer you a facial towel. My face, you arrive at a destination, and I've never wiped flannels on my face so much. I feel like I've wiped 15 layers of skin off my face.

Are you sure it's for your face? Isn't that usually for your hands? What else is it for? Your hands. That's a versatile thing. Yeah, they give you flowers. Are you meant to do hands? It's like when you get on a plane, the hot towels for your hands.

I've always taken them straight to the face. Whenever I've gone to a restaurant and they hand a steaming pile of towels at the end, I'm always wiping my chops. I mean, it's very hot here you know quite sticky so i found it quite good to wipe you see your neck or your your forehead or wipe your sort of hands i think it's probably because of the climate but you might be right maybe it's just the hands you walk into it you walk into a room they're there with a tray of steaming hot towels yeah like women who have got makeup on, we're not wiping our faces. It's definitely for your hands. That's how I hear you probably.

I'm here wiping my face and enjoying every minute of it. It's something we could adopt. And actually, while I'm on this rant, back to the bidet. I know it's an ongoing topic on this show. Bidet is everywhere in Sri Lanka. And it's a form of lavatory technology that we really do need to adopt I have been boiling it You know, that's the hose attachment next to the thing. I thought they just love cleaning the floors afterwards. So John has been cleaning his butt with it,

and you've been putting it in your mouth. It's great. I've been brushing my teeth. He thought it was a teeth water blaster. I've been doing things. You always make faux pas you don't mean to when you travel. Well, who knows which one of us has been using that little service correctly. But, yeah, no, honestly, it's the way to go.

Yeah, it is. Why don't we? Why don't we? Like, we're smearing. Like, we're smudging and smearing. No, you're right. Well, you could just be blasting it off. Well, I will be doing that, brushing my teeth and using it as well.

John O'Byrne and Megan. The podcast. The podcast. The hits. Took over two golden teabag tickets to put inside some Dilmar tea at the Dilmar tea factory in Sri Lanka. And it's going to be sold into New Zealand very shortly. If you find the golden tickets, you could be winning a trip like this. It's been incredible.

Here on International Tea Day, which it is still right now in Sri Lanka, and just learning about all the wonderful things they do, the kindness, the things that they give, and it feels like someone from New Zealand has portrayed that kindness, Jono. Yeah, I mean, Dilmar, they're all about kindness, giving, but Matty McLean is all about taking and destroying. Matty from the Afternoon Show, Matty at PJ, you know, Matty with Matilda Green at the moment. Publicly, Matty, lovable, adorable, likeable.

Behind the scenes, he's left an absolute trail of destruction here in Trinidad. Going across here, it just feels like we are having to play damage control, right? As you said before. We're on a peacekeeping mission. So we're staying in one of Dilmar's fine resorts. This is through their tea trail where all the tea is grown and 14,000 of their tea pickers live. And there's a beautiful, there's a number of sort of beautiful houses

on the establishment. Maddy stayed in one of them. We're staying in the same place. Now, Janneke, who is the manager here. Lovely guy. Calls me Mr. Ben, which makes me feel really good. I love being called Mr. Ben. Yeah, we're not carrying that on when you come home. No. Calls me Mr. Ben, which makes me feel really good. I love being called Mr. Ben. Yeah, we're not carrying that on

when you come home. No. Start calling me Mr. Ben. No. And nothing's a problem for Mr. Ben. Like, he's doing Mr. Ben's washing. He's an amazing person. But we talked to Janica

about Manny McLean's catastrophe when he was here. Janica is the manager here, aren't you? Yes, sir. You just said it was our second home here. The second home? This is your second home, sir. When's the time to sell your thing? Is the market right for us to sell?

I think you're telling the family this could be my first time. This is beautiful here. Right next to the tea trails. It's a beautiful spot. Yes, sir. We have like this five bungalows here, sir. How old is this house? This bungalow was originally built in 1925. Wow. So 100 years old.

Yes. It's nestled in the hills with all the, so the whole T-trails surround the property and there's multiple houses throughout the hills? Yes, sir. Yeah. And we are here for two days. Yeah, we are here two days.

Oh, two days. Two days is not enough sir Not enough? Do you remember Matty McLean Matty who came here last time From New Zealand Apparently he still owes money for a bar tab How much does he owe you? A lot

I saw it before He doesn't want to say it But I think three to four $400, I think. They're still repairing the room from the damage, aren't they, from when he stayed. But anyway, we're lucky to be back here. It took a few years to patch up New Zealand-Sri Lankan relations. Don't let him put you off about us, OK?

We're good. Matty? No, not so much. Anything you want to say to Matty? Matty, I like to see Matty. You want to see Matty? Yes, yes. Matty.

Okay. You've known us for 10 minutes. You knew Matty for a lot longer. Who do you like better? Definitely Matty. Sure. Yes. That was a good answer.

A diplomatic. I love it. Thank you for having us here. Thank you, sir. Thank you so much. Hey, love, thank you for having us here. Thank you, sir. Thank you so much. Wait, did he say you or Maddy? No, he said definitely sure. And whenever anyone asks me a complicated question in life from now on,

I'm just going to go definitely sure. Oh, he's so lovely. He is honestly the most, he's a sweetheart. People are amazing. And yeah, he wouldn't even go along with the fact that we're trying to say that Maddy McLean ruined the place. Matty did nothing wrong here. To be honest, I think he barely even remembers Matty.

Is that the first time someone's called you sir, too? Yeah, I know. It's great. This is great. This is why I might be staying here. If you want to feel better about yourself, stay in a seven-star resort. Oh, my God. Well, you could be winning it if you find the golden teabag tickets.

You can feel better about yourself. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The Hits. It's been pretty incredible seeing some of the sights of Sri Lanka over the last couple of days, and you could be here if you find the golden tickets in your Dilmar teabox. Just an amazing sight.

The Hits Breakfast, live from Sri Lanka. With the coastal beaches, you've got the amazing jungle. You've got the hustle and bustle of Colombo. You've got cars driving on both sides of the road in different directions. And a lot of cricket. Which is what the road usually does, but these cars do it towards each other. Yeah, they're basically not picking a side. They're doing both sides.

But cricket, you guys know that I love my cricket. I like to punish you guys with cricket chat. And I know you're not into it. That's fine. I know not everyone's into cricket. But I know coming to Sri Lanka, there are so many people here that do love cricket. Yeah, well, actually, one of the places we're staying in now, Nextdoor, is owned by a Sri Lankan cricket legend. It's right.

Yeah. Sangra Kara, I think cricket legend. It's right, yeah. Sangra Kara, I think. Yeah, so it's very exciting. I bought a little mini cricket bat I got from the ACC, the Alternate Cricket Commentary Collective. Over here, I've got some balls. I've got a black caps top. I'm ready to play cricket at any stage. He's also got tennis balls as well.

Yeah. So we found a cricket game on day one. You might have heard this the other day, and I was very excited to put my black caps top on. You were like, well, let's introduce me to the game. Well, I figured that no one, you know, no one's going to know whether you're a black cap or not. Well, no, I just wanted to just play a game with some people.

But you introduced me as a New Zealand cricket player. We're in Colombo and Ben's wearing his black caps top. I think they might think you're a black cap. Yeah, I think so. And the problem is I played one ball and i got out so they're like he's terrible if he plays cricket for new zealand yeah all he needs to do for fame is to move to sri lanka and put on a black cap top and everyone was talking about it yeah yeah it's uh remarkable isn't it they mustn't know that much about it all he needs to do is put on a black cap.

Well, you did say it was a black cap, and I kept saying not a black cap, but I don't think they heard the not. He doesn't look very athletic. He's quite slender. Hey, hey, hey. And then just moments after that, we ambushed a poor guy called Ricky,

and Ben was like, you look like you like cricket. Ricky, we're staying here with you and you love cricket of course yes of course i love cricket yeah you've got cricket bats here signed by which teams uh the initially new zealand yeah and then the bangladesh then england and then later came the again bangladesh anyway that's all you need to hear it was a great conversation nothing against Ricky it was a great conversation but I mean I mean it was more you to be honest more than you it was me and Ricky talking just a couple of cricket fans talking cricket yeah yeah I feel like I'm a little bit of a cricket punisher on this trip you know because everyone I do carry the bat around and I did carry it around in our hotel facility last night because we were in the jungle

i was like well i can carry around looking like i want to play cricket but really it's for my own protection but people would go oh you love cricket you love cricket and then i'd have conversations with the bat so i'm carrying a bat around at all times so what were you going to do if an elephant came stampeding towards you with your miniature cricket bat. What were you going to do? What was the game plan? Well, it depends if he's bowling leg spin or extreme pace. I don't know. And then you make headlines for, like, beating a lepers or an elephant in Sri Lanka. Yeah, okay.

What if a leopard bowled a spin ball at you? How are you going to attack that? Off the leg?