Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL SHOW: The most intense practical joke we've ever heard

Episode Date: June 15, 2025

We talk about your “parent tax”. When do you use the parent card to tax something off your kids? We took a young fan to visit the Warriors but we’re not sure if the kid, Ben or Megan was the most excited. Jono’s friend has him saved under an offensive name in his phone. One of us is lying as we prepare to reveal our ‘Rogue’, and we ask for stories on the fun lies you’ve been caught up in. Instagram: @THEHITSBREAKFASTFacebook: The Hits Breakfast with Jono, Ben & MeganSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

John O'Bannon, Megan, the podcast, the hats. If you've just joined the show, welcome to the podcast, but we're all in, on tenterhooks, aren't we? On suspicious mode at the moment, the three of us. On and off here, we're trying to find out who the rogue is. One of us is the rogue and will disappear from the show at some point, but we genuinely don't know who it is and we don't know when it's going to happen. How do you know the difference between a rogue and a redundancy?

What's the, yeah, oh what happened to you? It could be a great way to do it from a company's point of view, right? Turn it into a promo. Very clever. It just doesn't come back. You'll hear more details but you can win thousands of dollars with a petrol. One of us will disappear and no one knows who it is. We've all gone into separate meetings and been told.

And it's probably like at the end of the day it doesn't matter which one of us it is, because you need to find out where that person goes. This is just almost fun for us not to know. Yeah, not to know where it is. And then we don't know once the person finds out, well sorry, once you find out who the person is, we then don't know actually where the person's gonna go, right? Yeah. I don't even think the rogue will know at this stage.

We're playing along with you guys to find the rogue Yeah, and then where they're gonna go. So yeah, so yeah Jono's play yeah to say that he is the rogue I am the rogue and I'm gonna disappear and your play is to investigate and Ben's play is a deflection at the moment He's like definitely Jono could be Megan, you know, like I don't think it's Megan. I don't think it's Megan. I just think it's Jono. But then I'm like, it's been deflecting too hard. Yeah. And so that's where I can pull back. Because I do also think it's Jono because I don't think you're very good at lying.

And you probably were scared you're going to catch yourself out, but then you're deflecting real hard to Jono. So I don't know. Even if I'm not the rogue, I'm going to, I've taught myself into thinking I am the rogue. Even if I'm not the rogue, I've talked myself into thinking I am the rogue. So if I'm not, I might just disappear as well. Two of us might be gone. Oh, I forgot the logistics here. So it will be revealed at some stage this week and you can win a whole lot thanks to Gas Petrol Service Stations.

Jono, Ben and Megan. The Podcast. The Hats. We're talking about lies, the funniest lies that you're a part of. One of us is going missing this week, one of us is the rogue and one of us is lying in the studio that we're not the rogue. No one knows, no one here knows who it is and that is the exciting part. I'm saying it's me because it's me and I will go missing at some point this week.

Someone's texting going, I honestly think it's Jono and I can see how they would end up there because all morning I've been saying it's me. I honestly think it's Jono too. I think he's taking this tactic so he can go on Wednesday. See I told you it was me. Are you not great at lying? No that's probably it plays into that as well. So yeah I've put it on the record before that I think it's Jono. Okay but yeah someone's going to mysteriously disappear and I don't know if it's going to be during the show, after the show, they might not turn up for a show. When you tell it, you know, when it happens it happens. When you tell it, you know, we'll just...

When it happens, it happens. When Jono pops out of the studio, we'll roll. When you're leaving, Jono. Yeah. Okay, Megan. Funniest lie you've been caught up in. You were just telling a funny one from your school. So when I was at school, literally like all of my friends were ballet dancers and I was

like, oh damn it, because they were so like graceful and it was so cool that they were doing ballet. So I decided I'd tell them I was doing tap dancing. I was like, well I'm a tap dancer. But then they were like, well show us some moves. And I was like, no I can't do it without the shoes. And they were like, well bring your shoes to school. And I was like, no they're expensive, my mum doesn't let me take them.

You had a couple of good outs. But you could have gone with your feet like, cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha chaachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachach My mate faked my own death. What? Your mate faked? Yeah, one of my friends faked my own death. To another friend, my mate went, Oh yeah, yeah, Phil's dead. Phil died in it. And anyway, so... He was going to come back to the funeral and my mate Pete was like,

Nah, look mate, don't worry about it. It's just a little private thing, don't worry. So anyway, this joke went on for about four years. Four years?! This guy thought you were dead! Yeah, Mike thought I was dead. Died in the car accident. Anyway, he was from Australia and we thought, your mate Pete was like, oh yeah, I'll meet you in Auckland at this bar. So we went to this bar, we spent the whole day there drinking, told everybody in the bar about the joke.

And, um, anyway, when Mike turned up, this bar we spent the whole day there drinking told everybody in the bar about the joke and um anyway when Mike turned up he was at the bar drinking with me other mate Pete carrying on and then um I walked out and he would have looked like he'd seen a ghost he did he like just like what but he my mate Pete he does all these practical jokes on paper and he was like, you so and so. And they had a big fight and we haven't spoken to Mike for about 10 years. Oh, poor Mike. Mike would be like, there's a long time to keep you hanging, right?

Yeah. He's got no sense of humour. What? You let him say he was dead for four years. For four years. He's got no sense of humour. You let him think you were dead for four years! He's got no sense of humour! He probably mourned you! Have a laugh mate! You only thought I was dead!

Why? Oh jeez! Chin up mate! That is so good! John O'Bannon Megan The Podcast The Hats. I had a funny situation yesterday. It was Sunday.

Well, obviously, thanks for explaining what day it was. It's always good to start with that. But I was with a friend and I was like, oh, I'll just text you the contact of someone. You know, he can just share a message and stuff again. Man explaining how you can do that. But then I saw on his phone, I come up as ping

Jono Bald. That's who I'm saved in his context. And I said what? I thought it's only because I've got three other Jonos. I've got Jono Touch Rugby, I played Touch Rugby with so he's Jono Touch Rugby. And then I've got what was the other one? Jono Cousin. It was his cousin, so Jon Cousin and you were John O Bored. Why don't you go John O Radio? Exactly, the other two they are identified by their hobbies and or bloodline and I'm just bloody through hair loss. That's your identifier.

He's like what can I call you? I don't know how about John O Prior, first and last name. And then there's a space for like company, you could write in the Hurts. Something, anything's better than that. But anyway, now it's become a personality trait my hair lost. I blame you and Ben. We didn't get rid of your hair. We're talking parent tax and the things that you sort of take as a parent,

you know, you're paying for a lot of stuff, a text that comes through, just came through. I do heaps of parent tax at the moment. I pinch their pocket money to pay for things like eggs. Eat most of their chocolate, chips from their takeaways as well. So maybe they're going an extra step there. The pocket money is a good option too because you're like technically, yeah. When they have like a piggyback joe, you're like, geez, I really need to pay for that right now. I will pay that back for a little while, you and that. Yeah but you never do.

You never do. I feel like you have so many like little treats that I wouldn't normally have, like little bags of things and little chockeys and little... and when you're vulnerable at night when they've gone to bed... Listen, life is... You're vulnerable after dinner and you're like, I need something. They have a good... life is far better as a child. Enjoy it while it lasts. Let's get Fiona on, welcome need something. They have a good life, as far better as a child. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Let's get Fiona on. Welcome. Hi. Hi, Fiona. How are you? Lovely to hear your sophisticated British tones on the radio this morning. How are you taxing?

Yeah, all good. Not too bad. It's all gravy in the Navy. All gravy in the Navy. Fiona's in the Navy. We tried to get a catchphrase going. It's a good one, too. I love it every time you say it. Yeah, all gravy in the Navy. But then we get a catchphrase going. It's a good one too, I love it every time you say it.

Yeah, all gravy in the Navy, but then we didn't commit to it. That was the issue, but Fiona has. How are you taxing the kids there Fiona? Yeah, I take their power cords to play mind games with them as well. So if they've been naughty or they're winding me up, I take their power cords and then watch them melt down as they haven't got the power. That's a long play too because you have to wait for the device to run out. Yeah, but nine times out of ten it's on low anyway so they need to charge it.

It's a win-win situation for me. That's a good, because some people say turn off the Wi-Fi but if you take away all the charges. No, charges are the biggest thing we fight for in our house. I'm on 23 percent. I just always sit with someone taking my charger. thing in there the biggest thing we fight for in our house is it I'm on 23% I just always sit with someone taking my charger I had a charger there you have taken it and you've got a charger in the car that you fight over

oh yeah but I know which ones are mine and people take them all the time all winds me up if anyone would know which was his charger it would be Ben Boyce he even would have written a tiny little bin on the cable miniature writing. Fiona go and have a wonderful Monday. Always appreciate you listening, mate. Will do. All right, take care. Have a good day, guys.

You too. Nikki, parent tax. What are you doing? I take some lollies, sushi, chocolate, anything. Yeah, right. Well, I mean, to be fair, you've provided this as well. So I mean, is it tax or is it you just enjoying something you've purchased?

Yeah, well I always get something that I enjoy eating too. So, you know. Yeah, good on you. And are they ever calling you out? Because I've got to a stage with, or particularly Poppy, my daughter, we went to Burger King the other day. And I usually just dip the hand into the bag

and just grab chips at will. She's got to sit where she's locking the bag with fists now. Don't even have access to the bag now. So you enjoy this while you can, Nikki. Yeah, well I always say to them, well, if they say no, I'll say, well, who paid for it? I think we have like a responsibility to provide food for them though. I don't think we can like take it off them.

Yeah, but you're not talking about having them, just a little bit. Just a little bit. Guys always complain when women do that, they take the chippies. Why don't you just buy your own chippies? Because Megan, we love complaining about women. That's our thing. To try and paint you out like monsters.

That's what we get off of. Hey, good on you Nikki. Have a great day. Appreciate it. Great, thank you. Great. Thank you. Great text here too. Kids used to have a playroom and I've turned it into an Airbnb, says Kirsty. Good play from Kirsty there. Like while the kids are still there. Imagine the kids move out of the room while there's guests in there.

It's heartbreaking when you move out and suddenly it's mum's sewing room. You're like, what? Jono, Ben and Megan. The Podcast. The Hats. It's heartbreaking when you move out and suddenly it's mum's sewing room. You're like what? The Warriors return again, the One New Zealand Warriors to Go Media Stadium. Had a week off. On Saturday night and we did something pretty cool. You'll see a video for it later in the week. We were surprised a kid who's a massive fan of the Warriors. We've been talking about trying to find the biggest little One New Zealand Warriors fan

for a while. Said we had something pretty secret and we had Brody, a nine year old Brody along, we blindfolded and put some earmuffs on. He didn't know what was going on and he got to watch their training, got to meet all the players, got to meet the coach. Even Dynasty as well who supply all the great amazing gear for the Warriors, gave him some gear as well, got signatures so it was really special to be part of. Yeah it was.

And we made a little boy's dream come true. And when I talk about a little boy, I'm talking about Ben Boyce. This little boy, he came along to the one New Zealand Warriors, like the merchandise store had projectile vomited over him. He had jacked up, he was Warriors up past. But I tried to play it so cool. Did you? Because you were covered in merch. Yeah, okay, would you want to have his warrior stuff?

I was like, okay. But I tried to... Inside I was just bursting guys. I was bursting. I was like... And I was nailing bro shakes with them. And people were talking to me and stuff. People were talking to me. And I was trying to be cool. Selfies, no. Your signatures, just casual chats.

I heard you say, hey bro, yeah great season's over. I'm like, oh your lads chat is great, you're doing so well. I know it was, but inside I was like, oh yeah. We caught you because after the training we were walking back to the car park. So we're going to the changing rooms. And we were walking behind you and you were... You were like escorting one of them back to the changing rooms. And we were walking behind you and you were... You were like escorting one of them back to the changing rooms. You were really analysing the season so far.

Oh yeah, I was. It was a new place. It was just me and him walking along at the same time as us. Tanner Stowers-Smith that was walking along. Oh was he walking and you quickly walked up to him. We kind of merged like a zip and we were alongside each other. Also, for context, while they were training it had rained so they're all like wet. They're all dripping wet and they probably just want to get to the changing rooms and

along comes Ben Boyce. So we're just catching Ben mid-punish right now. Fifth like dissecting the entire season. He just wants to go to the changing room and just be like, oh yes, how's the season going mate, yeah. To be honest I've been like, oh yes, how's the season going, man? To be honest, I'm a bit tripping. Karma. That is karma.

And then I tripped over too, which was karma for talking behind Ben's back. But yeah, you really got to know what time they get in, what time they finish. It was quite a long walk. We were walking side by side, so I was like, I've just got to keep. You don't want to get too deep because it's not a long, long walk. You do want to lightly cover some topics. I just, no, I heard, all I heard from you was you going, oh, is that a call from management?

Or do you guys decide? And I was like, oh my god. Listen, and Megan, you can't get off lightly on this as well. No, no, yeah, exactly. No, I was trying to keep it cool. I was trying to keep it cool. My hero, some of the players, some of the new, I was like, this is cool, this is pretty cool.

But you, you were. What? She's at the end, so we're wrapping up with cute little Brody, the child. We're in front of the camera and all I'm hearing from Megan is like, who's that guy, he's so hot. Is he the hot one? He's the hot one. Is that one there? That one there. And I was like, Tamati Martin. And you're like, oh yeah, he's hot. And I'm like, guys, there's a child here. Literally just standing there waiting to wrap up the song. I say, he's hot. It was Ben and I. And I was like oh he's really attractive and Ben was like he is so hot you're right I know which

one you're talking about. I was like guys can we just wrap this thing up with this little child who's waiting here you're like undressing the players with your eyes. So listen what we did walk away with was one happy child and a restraining order. But they're also so nice. That was the cool thing and I want to say you know sports teams sports teams, you know, they're busy, it was raining, they're training, they had to go to a gym session but they all came over, which I thought was so cool. Even coach Andrew Webster? Yeah, they all came over, shook our hands, I nailed some bro shakes, they also went and

saw the kid Brody, had some photos, they're all so lovely and they didn't need to do that. So thanks so much to One New Zealand Warriors for doing that and also for Dynasty as well for providing all that amazing gear for Brody. They even weren't thrown out when Megan turned up to their ice baths. I know. They were like, oh hello there. They were very welcoming here as well. Yeah they were, you're right.

It's amazing, you need a toiling off. You need an extra physio, I'm here. So that video will be out later in the week. It made three people's dreams come true that day. John O'Bannon, Megan. The podcast. The Hats. Speaking of Friday, we left you Friday and you've returned three days later as a different

look. You kept this very quiet. I went to do it a couple of weeks ago. I like to go in and get, I just was like, you know, my eyes, actually not too bad close up, it was just further away and they're moving screens further and further away from us here in the studio. And every now and again I'll be like, oh it takes me a little bit to focus. Maybe it's a...

I can do it without it, but it's definitely a lot easier when I've got the glasses on. So he's come in with some lovely glasses. We'll put a photo up actually, put a video up on the Hits Breakfast. It's up there already. It's up there, you can go and have a look. You can make a Twitter video, mock me before. When you were trying them on, were you like, oh, this is going to be... I did, yeah.

I was kind of like it, yeah. You went for a bold frame. I did. I felt like it was, it was very hard to know what you want for glasses. There's so many options right now. I'm not at the stage where I need to put a light on in a restaurant to see the menu or anything like that. I'm fine close up.

Are you going to do that thing when you're reading and you have them down the end of your nose and you look over the top of them? I'd always like that. Well, I shouldn't have to because yeah, book of the way they are, but it's only really for, mainly for further away stuff. My favourite part is he's like, I don't always have to wear them. I don't always, I don't know how many times you've said that. No, well because I know people who got a week later go, why are you wearing your glasses?

It's like, well, because I don't have to, but right now looking at the screens, it's definitely very helpful. You look really good. Like if we put you in like country road clothes or something and holding like a little Nespresso cup It could be like a George Clooney look with those glasses Very hard to know what to get at the moment and very you know not used to wearing them as well almost Almost I went to the bathroom with my man almost fell off and landed in the bathroom So that's something I think

Need one of those chains around the back One of those cool chains Yeah like little ropes Yeah Like the teachers used to have at school. They'd dangle over your boobies. Just sort of put it up and put it back on. So a whole new world with the glasses. But it is a lot more helpful when I look further away.

Well, because at the lift at work, they've had an eye test on the screen for the last three months. Maybe they think radio is slowly starting to lose its vision. You know, cataracts. Yeah, maybe it's something they've done. It's a random thing when you go into the lift, but it is honestly an eye test. It's outside the door. Oh yeah, it's not your car park, mate.

I'm like, what lift? Not your car park, mate. The one that plebs a park at. Oh, that lift. The common people car park. I don't want to go there. Not the one next to the CEO in the garage underneath here. No, next to Mike Hosking. Next to Hosking, sorry.

Yeah, not that sort of one mate. Next to the board of directors. I have started doing that thing though where I can't have my phone too close to me because it's all blurry. Screens? I'm starting to pull things away. I mean, Joe gets names wrong all the time too. I do. That's not through bad vision. That's just pure incompetency. There we go.

Do you look how big my text is too on my phone? My mate did that for years ago. It's basically all the things that have changed on your phone but that's never changed back. Like he said it, he's like honestly this is a game changer about five years ago and he put it on, what font? That's like Tahoma 28 or something on my text. That is an enormous font and I get mocked regularly for that but I've written it out Ben. You've kept it on, that's good.