Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL SHOW: The worst handshake ever...

Episode Date: September 3, 2024

ON THE SHOW TODAY: We went to Broadcasting School The Riddler took a turn... An update on Bens Dog Grandparents Finds Bryan Adams joined the show Names which are a little too old now Facebook: The Hits Breakfast with Jono and Ben Instagram: THEHITSBREAKFASTSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Cheers to Dilma, making the world a better tea. Oasis tickets been gone on sale. They've got back together. 10 million people from 158 countries tried to buy the 1.4 million tickets available. A lot of people. They're all gone. A lot of people missed out.

But yeah, they're all gone, all sold out. And due to the Ticketmaster in-demand pricing, the surging, originally valued tickets around about, well let's go New Zealand dollars, around about $285, ended up surging for about $750. Woo! A standing GA ticket. Oh yeah, just some sort of standard tickets.

What do we feel about the old surging? I'm surprised it's allowed, but I guess it's supply and demand, right? It happens with other things that aren't concert tickets as well, like Ubers. Flights. Yeah. In demand, I guess it's supply and demand, right? It happens with other things that aren't concert tickets as well, like Ubers. Flights. Yeah. In demand, I guess. I suppose it's, yeah, I suppose it can be done, but it doesn't feel good paying a surge price, does it?

No. Well, speaking of surging, how am I going to go here? I don't know what to tie it here. Planes, they surge, don't they? They powerfully surge through the air. They do. We caught a plane yesterday. We went to Christchurch, the broadcasting school,

to manipulate the minds of the youth. Went to inspire the next generation. Did you get a big clap at the end after your chat? Honestly, to be honest, I felt like we just babbled for 90 minutes, just talked at them. Oh, they asked a lot of questions and stuff. It was really an honor to do it. But you went there.

Yeah. And I was conscious of you, like, you want to actually give some good information about the industry rather than always, you know, because often we get up there and you just kind of tell jokes and stuff. But I was kind of thinking, well, these people are probably the people that actually do want to hear. If I was in that position when I was,

I'd want to actually know about the things that I'm going to go into. Honestly, I just want to say to them, get into Bitcoin. Get into crypto. Only fans. Do anything apart from crypto. I don't know about that. Get into AI. Because you went to the broadcasting school too,

same place. I actually did one of those speeches when producer Liam Rassie is working with us now he got to hear my babbling Oh come in here Liam, let's find out how inspiring Megan was. Not very

I don't think. I was the same as you you talk a lot and you're like was any of that any good? No, Liam were you inspired? Is this what got you into the industry, Megan's touching words? Please be honest There's your answer She kind of came in, we were kind of getting closer to COVID got you into the industry, Megan's touching words? Please be honest. There's your answer. She kind of came in. We were kind of getting closer to COVID. She was kind of, you know, pushing

the, you might be made redundant rule. Oh, right. It was a bit doom and gloom if I remember that right. Did you come in and say you were going to be made redundant? I was a realist. You're like, guys, what are you doing? You're going to all be made redundant. You've got jobs yet and you're going to be made redundant.

She predicted the future though, didn't she? Yeah, I was being honest. Well, there we go. There were a few TVs that jumped into News Hub after that one. Oh my God. Tell you what, that was an uplifting, inspirational speech from Megan. Hey, you're here now. Yeah.

Can't make the best make it. Actually, you've got to have a meeting with management after the show. Hey, next. I need to tell you how I fluffed a handshake at the airport. Two military people sitting right next to us, and I was like, don't blow it. And I blew it. I blew it. That's after Shibuzee Bar Song at 6.11. It is the Hats on your Wednesday morning.

Good job, Ben. The Hats, the Jono and Ben podcast. I bumped into a couple of guys from the Air Force yesterday, and they were lovely. Started just jibber-jabbering away to them, didn't we? But I don't think you saw this, Ben, when one of the gentlemen sat next to me. He went in for a greeting. I could see arm movement. Right. I could see arm movement.

Okay, so this is stock standard handshake situation, I'm thinking to myself. Okay? You're probably thinking, well, military? You're probably thinking, well, military. You're probably thinking, right. It probably is like a direct eye contact, solid handshake. I was ready to salute. Yeah. You know?

Age range. Age range? Oh, jeez. I'd say definitely over 40s. Oh, okay. Yeah, definitely over 40s. Not young. So I could see the arm coming closer towards me,

and then I've chucked out my arm to hand flat, ready for a rock-solid handshake. Right. Last minute, I've gone, oh, he's fist bumping. He's fist bumping. And I'm like, I can't save it. It's too late. So I ended up, as with his fist clenched,

I've ended up with my flat hand wrapped around, sort of hugging, blanketing, spooning his fisting. It's the catch-me-knuckles the kids will know from the Norris Nuts. Is that a catch-me-knuckle? Well, yeah, they do it on purpose. It was ugly scenes. Yeah, they do it like as that's a little greeting, but that was not the intention. Yeah, but I was like as that's a little greeting but you know that was not

the intention yeah but I was like what's the military protocol here I'd never seen fist bump but it was all my fault

I blew it in hindsight he had clearly marked the fist bump yeah it's a tricky situation I've done the same

thing I've not even done the one where you go over the top and then you still go for your shake

you're shaking your fist bump up and down and that's all good like a little good to see you mate And then you still go for your shake. You're shaking. You're shaking your fist bump up and down. And that's awkward. Good to see you, mate. It's a weird situation. You've got to address that in the moment. Just be like, oh, I'm sorry.

This is awkward. I screwed that up. Do you want to know? This is a terrible story. And he felt bloody awful. But a friend of mine, he walked into the radio studio. This is many, many years ago. And He walked into the radio studio This was many, many years ago And he walked into the radio studio

And there was some young people there And one of them was formaldehyde, baby You know how they Sometimes the arms haven't fully developed Arms and hands haven't fully developed And so my friend had walked into the studio And he'd gone, oh, g'day mate Nice to meet you Not realising that And so my friend had walked into the studio and he'd gone, oh, g'day, mate.

Nice to meet you. Not realizing that there was not a full hand or arm developed. Right. And so he's gone, uh-oh, okay, what do I do here? So then he gets his thumb and his forefinger and then just grabs a little bit. Oh, sorry. And shakes it up and down. Well, I guess in that situation he's fair.

I'm watching this play out. I'm like, no, no, no. Then he looked at me and he just walked out. And I was like, we're definitely going to be talking about this later on. I think even the person was like, did that just happen to me? I want to hide At second hand embarrassment now Did he just thumb and finger My hand shake

He was throwing out We were all throwing out What did we just witness there Next you can be winning We've got a riddle for you She's on maternity leave The riddler responsibility. You're taking over the riddler reins. Alright, that's next.

You can be winning. Thanks to Dilmar T on the Hits. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. We like to throw out a riddle for you to try and test you early in the morning, and thanks to our friends at Dilmar T, you can win $100 and a Dilmar hot and cold tea prize pack. The Riddler. A couple

of weeks ago, where I got to do The Riddler, where I got to be The Riddler, we were embroiled in a sexism scandal. Not embroiled. You led me into a sexism scandal because you knew what I was going to say. He knew what he was doing, didn't he, Megan? I mean, it was already in your mind.

He led you to the garden pod. Do you want a chance at redemption, Jono, today? Or do you want something that could relate to you for your riddle? I'll give you two options. Well, hold on. We'll just recap

on the first sexism scandal. There was a doctor and what was it? About three siblings or something? Yeah, and it turned out the doctor was a female. Yeah. And I assumed that the doctor was a female. Yeah. And I assumed

that the doctor was a male. That was on me and I take that on the chip. So would you like a chance of rejection?

It was also the same day, a comment about the Paris mayor and you're like, oh, what's he been doing? And it's like,

well, it's a female. Mayors can be females and doctors. It was a dark day for sexism on the show.

The toughest riddle for him to work out was that women can be doctors too. And mayres? Do they still cook when they get home? I hope so I hope they're not forgoing their domestic duties, Megan

He's obviously joking Don't double down, don't double down So what is it? Is this a sexism one? Do you want one of those or do you want one of what he front footed? Do you want one that could trap him into a sexist scandal? Well, now he probably knows Okay, well now I'm aware of it. Okay, we're aware of it.

Going into this, I'll give you a chance of redemption looking like a good person, okay? Okay, this is just one for Jono, first up. Okay, sorry, Megan. That's all right. A father and son have an accident, both badly hurt. They're both taken to separate hospitals. When the boy is taken for the operation, the doctor says, I cannot do the surgery because this is my son.

How is this possible? Redemption, mate. Because that's his mother. She's the doctor because this is my son. How is this possible? Redemption, mate. Because that's his mother. She's the doctor. She's the surgeon. Sorry, the boy has two fathers. They're in the same-sex relationships, mate. And, yeah.

Come on, I'll give you a chance at redemption, mate. I'll give you a chance at... He let you down the path the other way. Now he's bringing same-sex relationships into the riddles. Mate, come on, Jono. Good lord, Jono. How backward are you, Jono? It's a progressive show, mate.

Jeez, I'm sorry about him, everyone. Sorry about him. Okay, well, here's your riddle right now. Not for Megan, not for Jono. This one is, if you know it, you'll get it quite quickly. Oh, 100 the hits. Okay, what type of cheese is made backward? Oh, 100 the

hits. What type of cheese? You guys can't answer because you probably, you might get it. I'm in my riddle era. Write it down, write it down. Oh, 100 the hits. We've got $100 and a Dilma tea, hot and cold tea. Is it a lesbian cheese? Prize back. If you think you know, what type of cheese is made backward?

All right. The phones are blowing up. They know the answer to it. You hold up your answer to us, Megan, and then we'll be clear. Wait, I don't have a pen. Okay. Can you see that?

It's small. Ah, yep. I can see that. I reckon you got it. I reckon you got it too. Yeah. Hayden, good morning. Oh, look, the phone's blowing up.

How are you, Hayden? Yeah, good, thank you. How reckon you got it. I reckon you got it too. Yeah, Hayden, good morning. Oh, look, the phone's blowing up. How are you, Hayden? Yeah, good, thank you. How are you guys? No good, mate. I've been led into a bloody same-sex scandal now. All right, what type of cheese is made backward? Edam. Yeah, Edam.

If you flip it around, it's the letters made. Yeah, M-A-D-E. Megan, in her riddle there. Well done, Megan. Well done, Hayden. You've got yourself $100 and a Dilmar tea hot and cold tea prize pack. Awesome. Thank you

so much. What about me? Do I get one? You do deserve one. I'll get you a cup of tea, but I was just about to do that. We've got no milk here. Hayden, what are you up to today, buddy? I'm getting ready for work. My son is running around the household already,

so he's two years old, so he wakes us nice and early in the morning. Oh, well, good on you. I feel that. Good luck this morning. I thought you'd squeeze in a novelty riddle competition while getting ready as well. Well, you're going to have a great day at work, Hayden.

Good luck chasing your two-year-old. Awesome. Thank you so much. Guys, I've been out on dog watch, as you know. My dog had a bandage. Is there an update? Update for you. I'll thank you so much. Guys, I've been out on dog watch, as you know. My dog ate a bandage. Is there an update? Update for you. I'll give you an update in three minutes at 6.29 on The Hits.

We're trying to track down Brian Adams, Canadian rock superstar, because he won our best song ever. He's coming to New Zealand next year, but we wanted to tell him that he won The Hits' best song ever. Yeah, we had producer Grace made him a certificate on Microsoft Clipart. We got it printed out. Was it even laminated?

Does she have a laminator access here at work? Yeah, it might have been laminated, yeah. And so, look, full transparency, we've already spoken to Brian. And I think that he thought we might have been having a laugh. Oh, because we led with this certificate

right yeah maybe in hindsight we shouldn't because we yeah and he was kind of like oh is this this is legit here's a little moment just remember we printed you a certificate bro i was really hoping the certificate would have gone down a bit better but anyway i just love the happy photo you chose yeah are you happier in this photo there or are you happier now on the Zoom call? So there was a photo of him not smiling on the certificate and he wasn't smiling on the Zoom either. I think the certificate might have seemed like the award was a joke,

but it was legit. He won Best Song Ever. It's all on us. It is on us, yeah. We blew the comms on that. Anyway, Brian Adams and his indifferent response to winning the best song ever, coming up at 8.20. But, yeah, the dog, my dog had a bit of a sore on its leg

and had a hot pink sort of stretchy bandage on to stop it from sort of, the dog from licking it and biting it. And then we came in one day and the bandage was gone. And we were like, uh-oh. And it seemed like the dog had eaten it and so we're on dog watch over the weekend do you think your poor dog because you know he's come from the uh the snowy hills of where some crazy european country what is he's a samoyed yeah samoyed yeah do you think if he was traipsing through the hills with a pink bandage on his leg

what would his what would his cousins be saying yeah so maybe you tried to get rid of it but yeah so we had a few days over the weekend where nothing was had passed and we had to keep an eye on it and you i was like oh that's a good thing and megan you were like well maybe not necessarily because it hasn't come out yeah i was worried it was going to get like trapped in there or wrapped around some things and then we sort of had a period where you know for a few hours the dog he just wouldn't eat which is very unlike him and it was just very lethargic and not eating and we're like oh something is actually wrong with the dog. So we took him to the vet yesterday.

I was in Christchurch. But yeah, the vet, I mean, they have to do everything they have to like, we're going to do, I get the phone call. It's like,

cause my mother-in-law took him to the vet and she was like, I can't sign off on the, on the bill for this without someone, you know, being on the phone, the vets like, Hey, we need to do an ultrasound.

We need to do an x-ray. We need to check if the thing's in there. And all you hear is ka-ching, ka-ching, ka-ching. Yeah, and you're like, oh, what's my other option? You know, I love the dog and do that. And so they, yeah, they did an ultrasound, did an x-ray, and they thought they could see something in there of the dog. And they were like, hey, we'll give them some medication, send them home,

but we'll probably have to get them back for another x-ray, another ultrasound, and potentially you could look at surgery and stuff like that. You're like, another one? You just did one? Just checking everything. But then fortunately, I guess, not fortunately for the dog, but fortunately last night he vomited up the bandage. So the bandage is out.

I mean, it would have been nice $1,200 before. But please, before we got into the next round. Mate, we were just days ago. It felt like he was waiting for you to pay an exorbitant bill. Then he was like, ah, Frank. He's like, now I know you care. But then he did stop from the second round and the surgery and stuff. So you don't have to double down.

And the good thing is you didn't have to pull out his back end. Well, yeah. It came out the front. You've been watching his butt for seven days. What's worse, though? The dog's very, yeah. He'd be confused while we'd be keeping such an eye on his movements. Very self-conscious about his back end.

So pleased in that regard, but never a cheap experience. Well, because you did have pet insurance. Yeah, well, we did have for a while until they didn't pay out on something. So I went, no, not again. He got the pit for the pet insurance. And I do, to be fair, I don't think they would have paid out on the one there because that wouldn't have been an accident as such. You were saying yesterday, you're like, insurance is set up not to pay.

They don't want to pay you. But then you need to have it. It's a money-making exercise. Maybe we should start an insurance company. We should talk to someone on the show tomorrow. Insurance, do you need it? And if you do, what are the bare essentials that you need for insurance? I know you end up accumulating a lot of insurances.

We'll get someone on tomorrow. Okay. Yeah. I'll sort this out for you, Ben. Thank you. No worries. It is The Hits. You've got Jono and Ben.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Just an article that you sent me yesterday. Really, I'd spent about an hour and a half looking into this. Way too much time. Absolute waste of time. It'll serve me no good. Only for the next three minutes on the radio, to be honest. And it's celebrities who actually don't go by their birth name.

Now, a lot of them change their name, don't they, to be a bit more catchy? Like a stage name. Yeah. John Legend, believe it or not, wasn't born a legend. I think I do. As soon as you say it, I'll be not, wasn't born a legend. I think I do. As soon as you say it, I'll be like, oh, yeah. He's John Stevens. Stevens, that's it.

John Legend sounds a lot better, eh? Although no one in New Zealand are going to call themselves John Legend without being mocked. It's a bold call, isn't it? Yeah, they'll be like, John, he's coming. John Awesome. Yeah. John, he was John Stevens, and his friends started calling him John Legend

before he was John Legend. Right. And he just stuck with it. It doesn't seem like a name you would come out with. No. Or that's what he's saying. He's like, oh, my friends call me that. Oh, they all call me a legend.

Yeah, you couldn't come out with, hey, guys, I'm going to be now known as Benny Cool Guy. No, everyone would be like, okay. Vin Diesel, believe will be like, okay. Vin Diesel. Believe it or not. Didn't come out of the uterus as a diesel. Unleaded 98. He was a bouncer

in New York for many years, Vin Diesel. Is he a Vinny? No. Not at all. He's not even a Vin. That's the thing you're supposed to do. His name is Mark Sinclair. Oh, that's weird is Mark Sinclair That's weird Mark Sinclair Yeah

And so then he changed his name Apparently his mum has got Vin in her name And he obviously loved diesel And creating holes in the ozone layer So yeah that's And that makes you feel better about yourself That someone wasn't that cool Wasn't born that cool with a name like that.

Adam Richard Wiles. Have you got any idea who that would be? No. Actor? Adam Richard Wiles. No. Calvin Harris. Oh, really?

I feel like Calvin's switched one boring white man accounting name for another boring white man accounting name. If he picked it, why did he go with Calvin Harris? Well, the reason is his first single was quite sold. His album was quite sold in R&B. So he thought the name Calvin Harris was ambiguous. If you heard it, you wouldn't know what race Calvin Harris was. Right, okay.

What if it's like your Hotmail back in the day where you come up with something and then you're like, oh, I wish I'd changed that. You know, but it's too late. I feel like you're in that situation with your Gmail at the moment. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's my Gmail. And every time someone, you go somewhere and they're like, what's your email?

And you're like, can you do a phone number? Yeah, I'm in there now. A little bit of me dies inside. Who do you think Olivia Cockburn, is it Cockburn or Coburn? I never know. Coburn. Is it? I really hate it when you say that.

Who do you think Olivia Coburn is? Olivia Rodrigo. Olivia Wilde. Oh, Olivia Rodrigo. Oscar Wilde. She was a huge fan of Oscar Wilde, so changed her name. This is a beauty. Do you know who Destiny Hope?

Miley Cyrus. Way to take the wind out of the moment. Miley Cyrus. Yeah, and they called her Miley because she used to take the wind out of the moment Miley Cyrus yeah and they called her Miley because she used to smile at all or something

yeah so then she went with Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus right this is a bolter too and I don't want to keep banging and just reading lists

from the internet trying to raise lists and things oh this one's good yeah Thomas Maypother Thomas Maypother Maypother I'm? Thomas Maypother.

Maypother. I'm going to go like another Tom. Tom, I don't know, Cruise, Tom Hanks. You got it. Tom Cruise is a Maypother. Is Thomas Maypother. What is Maypother? Cruise is a cool name.

Like if you're going to put Cruise, yeah. Maypother or Cruise if you're weighing them up. You're definitely going to go Cruise all day. That's crazy. When you have a kid though, do they adopt Cruise or Maypother? She was Surrey Cruise. Yeah, well, she's adopted nothing, hasn't she? I think the name's probably all she got from Tom.

Next, I want to present to you some of the world's greatest covers of popular songs, speaking of Beyonce. Remember her? She was in Destiny's Child with the other two. I remember her. We just played her. I just mentioned her. You haven't forgotten Beyonce? No, I just said her name literally like a minute, well, less than a minute ago. Some of the world's greatest covers

next, including this. Dura Lev, Dura Lev. I love it. Dura Lev, Dura Lev. I love this cover. The world's best cover songs next. Last night we had a trip down to the broadcasting school yesterday and we got back kind of late.

My wife was at a meeting. So I kind of like looked at the option for cooking dinner and I was like, ah, we'll just go easy. We'll go out. I'll take my two daughters out. We'll just get something to eat. And we were sitting down and we're kind of hanging out. And normally we are like, I'm quite good. I normally bring a little game that we can do like a card game or something like that

of course you do because you can't just chill i like an activity you don't need activity but i've got even during dinner oh yeah i've always got like a card games restaurant pockets in my restaurants where we play a game and play like skip bow or uno what if you and your wife are going for like a date dinner oh no scissors no. Scissors, paper, rock. Yeah. Well, good. I mean, yeah. It's fun.

It's fun. I bought cards, babe. Because everyone puts their phones down and at least you kind of get to do something together. But I've forgotten yesterday in my rush. And so we were trying to think of, I was trying to think of an activity game. So I was teaching the girls, you know, that slaps game that you used to play at school back in the day when you hold your hands in front of the other person and then you get to slap their hands or move away like that

and you can flinch and stuff like that. So we were having fun. The three of us were having fun slapping each other's hands, laughing like that. And next to us was another table with another dad and his daughters as well. And they weren't doing the slaps game. Risky game with all the glasses and all that.

Yeah, it was. It was probably a little loud and a bit obnoxious, but we're having fun doing it. And then our meals arrived and we started to eat and I noticed that they were about to go into a game next to us, the people. And I was like, oh. What's their game?

Can I do it on their game? Do you want to play their game? And one of the kids goes, can we play the Capitals game? And I was like, oh. And you know when you're having a meal but you're also listening, you're like can we play the Capitals game? And I was like, ooh. And you know when you're having a meal and you're also listening. You get your notes out on your phone and you write down. What's the Capitals game? And it was what you think.

The dad would start listing countries. And these two kids were younger than my kids, but start listing countries. And then we'd go, Australia. And then they'd go, Canberra. And then I was like. I didn't even know that. Easy.

I was like. I was about to say Sydney. I was going there easy easy money New Zealand Wellington you know things like that

but then dear god they got into some countries like it was so impressive and I couldn't say anything because I was eavesdropping the whole time but they were going into

Libya yeah Madagascar Romania Dominion Republic you know Morocco I was like

these kids knew all the capitals I was like these kids knew all the capitals I was like that's incredible you should have leant over and gone have you guys heard of

slaps going from me playing slaps like a minute before with my kids to these amazing kids that knew all these

capitals yeah that's cool but are they going to use that in life maybe if they play the alpha quiz

yeah maybe they travel the world they might not use that in life but they obviously got great brains that they will use in life. Yeah, true. Better than old slaps over here.

Exactly. I was like, oh, sorry, we shouldn't be making so much noise when we were playing slaps just a minute ago. Coming up next. I had to sound like

I had some more music to play there. Yeah, yeah. Take two. Coming up next. John O' Pryor's Greatest covers The cover songs Are next

It is that The hits The Jono and Ben podcast Thank you very much For listening to the show You can also catch it On iHeartRadio as well too Number 40

On the top 40 Podcast charts In the world World World charts Number 40 out of 40 Greatest day ever Got the email

sent through. Couldn't have been happier. Then you were like, oh no, they're just shows within the company. Oh, no, I don't know. Anyway, in the world. It's world charts. Number 40 on the top 40. I have a definitive answer to this. Do you want me to tell you? Yeah, I'd like to know because we did get a list of the charts and

the show came in at number 40. It's within the company not worldwide not well not even not even domestically we it was better to be on there than not you're right we're on a chat okay why don't i say that listen to us we're on a chat yeah exactly what shot who's charlie who cares i know great deal with us and you can listen on my heart radio wonderful app now uh wonderful covers amazing cover that popped up on my instagram feed too i'm just going to play it to you and you got to try and figure out who the band

is but it's a yacht so you know you have yachts rock like cold play and all the stuff you like going to ben i do yeah uh see if you can try and figure out who this band is. Really good. Metallica, Sandman. Into Sandman, yeah. Oh, what? Now this is Metallica, Get Behind. Oh my God.

It's really good. It is cool. It's amazing. It always baffles me, you know, like how you can have one song and you can just make it sound so different. Rearrange it. Yeah, so that's Yacht Talica. Yacht rock material. You put on your bogan boat shoes and enjoy that one.

And this is a great one. This was from Uzbekistan. 50 Cent. A cover of 50 Cent's song in the club. Is it in the club where it's like, it's your birthday, it's your birthday, go shorty, it's your birthday? It's in the club, isn't it? Yeah, I think so.

Yeah. Yeah. All right. Probably in the club. Now you've got us questioning it. No, it's in the club. Yeah. Here's the Uzbekistan cover. It's your birthday We're gonna party like It's your birthday We're gonna sip a card Like it's your birthday

Don't do that voice And you know we don't give Cannot a birthday Oh good They self-centered themselves I did Yeah I did panic for a moment That I hadn't checked that

Yeah You'd want your birthday To be every day If they're gonna sing That song to you And this too From a group called Woman to Woman

African group From Cape Town actually In South Africa The All Blacks are over there At the moment I love that so much This is Destiny's Child Irreplaceable

This cover was Sung on live Felt like a mid-morning Television show You know like Good morning or something Have a listen to Irreplaceable To the left, to the left Everything you own in a box To the left, in the closet That's my stuff, yes

If I bought it, say Don't touch Don't touch She's like, don't touch my stuff. Don't touch! Don't touch my stuff, mate. I am scarpering out of that household. Quick, I'm leaving, I'm leaving.

You can have my stuff too. There we go, John O'Brien's greatest world covers. If you're in this mess, that's fine. Could you walk and talk at the same time? It is my name that is on that

mix. So remove your bag so I can call you again. I'm standing in the yard. I'm standing in the yard.

I'm just bickering. It feels like a marital dispute. Here we go. To the hook now. You must not know about me. You must not know about me. I feel like I've done something wrong. It feels like karaoke with my There we go. To the hook now.

I feel like I've got something wrong. It was like karaoke with my family. I'm getting told off there. Hey, next, we're talking your cash stash and what was found at a grandparent's house. Unbelievable story. We'll fill you in next on The Hits. A couple on Christchurch found just recently

$232,000 in their ceiling $232,000 Now they've been living in their house for a wee bit of time and they rang the police which is the right thing to do and now it's gone to the high court to who is is, you know, the right thing to do. And now it's gone to the high court to who is basically, who can get the money?

Because no one has come forward to claim the money, but the police believe that the money was through illegitimate purposes. Well, they can't prove it. No, no legitimate gains. Prove it. Well, they're saying that the person who used to live in the house before them

had ties to gangs. It's the way the money's laid out was probably how the gangs would probably lay it out. Okay, well, it's definitely through illegitimate gangs. Well, that's what they think, but the couple's also gone to court and saying, well, hey, it's in our house. We found it. I feel like it should be our money to keep. And the police are like, we're really struggling financially.

We can really do with the cash. The government is slashing our budgets. What happens to that money if the police are like, well, it's our property? I don't know. Yeah. So so really interesting thing it's gone to the high court in christchurch but 232 000 dollars as someone's saying who's a bit of an expert firstly you should call the police if you find that amount of money but then if you do keep it what happens if people the people come back for them you know like come back

for the money move house and keep it like you back for the money. Move house and keep it. You know, like, if it is through illegitimate purposes, then someone somewhere knows probably about the money, and that would be a kind of scary situation as well. Well, I don't think about that. If they've forgotten about it, they're now reminded about it. Yeah. Yeah, no good point.

I'd definitely be backing out of that cash now. Yeah, yeah. Your friend of ours was just saying the other day, speaking of finding money stored around the house, their grandparent sadly passed away this year. And the family went over to the house. You tidy up the affairs, you know. And they just found hundreds of thousands of dollars

just stashed away all throughout the house, in jars, under the mattress, in the mattress, out in the shed, in like little petrol canisters. Cash everywhere. Like it looked like the cash of an illegal arms dealer or something. mattress in the mattress out in the shed in like little petrol canisters cash everywhere like it looked like the cash of an illegal arms dealer or something that household of an illegal arms dealer so they uh added it all up in hundreds of thousands of dollars this grandparent just did not trust your modern day financial banking institutions and there's a lot of that generation who don't say you're the person so you've a family, but you're the person who's cleaning up your grandparents' house.

You find all that money. What do you do? Do you tell your family? Or are you just like, oh, my God, this is a treasure hunt? Fun little treasure hunt, eh? Oh, my God. Money? Oh, yeah, there was a couple of hundred bucks.

Yeah, no, I'd tell, because I wouldn't be able to sleep at night. The banks are always trying to steal your money, but then I'm like, well, if you've got your cash scattered all over the house, you're just going to leave it to an old school robber to steal your money. And then if the house, you know, if it had a fire or something, all the money's gone up in smoke, literally. I'd buy myself a new pillow to help me sleep at night and not tell anyone. Okay, 0800 the hits, this is what we want to open up. What did you find in the grandparents' stash when you were clearing out their house? Some of them could go decades without

even going into a bank. Oh yeah, and I imagine too, also items, you know, that probably could be worth quite a lot too. Like heirlooms? Yeah, heirlooms, family heirlooms, things like that. There's nothing worse though than taking like this gorgeous looking watch, which is what happened to me. worse, though, than taking this gorgeous-looking watch, which is what happened to me. I was like, this is a legit, beautiful watch.

You take it in to get it valued, and you're like, I've got an heirloom. And they're like, oh, no, those are cubic zirconias, and half of them are falling out. That's worth nothing. You're like, oh, okay, well, it's sentimental. Oh, 800 of the hits. 4487, what did you find in the Grandos' stash when you were clearing out their house? We'd love to get your calls on this morning.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. What did you find in the Grandos' stash When you were clearing out their house We'd love to get your calls on this morning Just talking about what you found At your grandparents' place You were just saying a story too A couple found over a quarter of a million dollars In the roof of their house And now they hand it in to the police It's gone to the High Court They believe they own the money The police are like no you don't

We think it was gained through illegitimate actions. And then someone's text in said, if the police win the court case, the money goes to the Crown. Right. Is that the Royals? They need more money. Yeah. Don't they?

I think it's just in general the... The government. Yeah. Well, there we go. That's what will happen to the cash. And the lawyers, too. They'll get their fees out of it, too, surely. If it's going to the High Court.

Oh, 800, that's the telephone number, too. They'll get their fees out of it, too, surely. If it's going to the High Court. 0800, that's the telephone number, though. What have you managed to find in your grandparents' stash? A friend of ours. A whole bunch of cash hidden right throughout the house when the grandparents passed away. There was cash in the deep freeze, cash under the couch, under the bed, in the mattress. Cash everywhere.

0800, that's Tegan. Good morning to you. Good morning. Lovely to have you on, Tegan. Thank you. You're right. Your grandparents passed away, and what did you find? Well, actually, it was before they passed away.

My papa was going into a home, so my parents had to go clear out his house. And he was a bit of a hoarder. And so it was a big action. And then my parents decided at the same time, they're like, oh, we're taking all this stuff to the dump. We'll clear out our house at the same time. So they cleared out their house, cleared out some of his house, went back a couple of days later to keep working on the place. And they found a whole lot of new stuff there.

And they said to him, well, where did all this come from? And he said, oh, my friend dropped it off. He wanted me to fix these things up. And they said, that's not true because this is all the stuff from our house that we took to the dump. And he'd gone and rifled through the dump and took all the stuff. Oh, so he was like, oh, they're getting rid of my stuff.

I'll sneakily go back and get it all back. I'll get some more back. Yeah, exactly. And took all their stuff and tried to lie about it. Was he one of those sort of people that you'd see on a documentary on a Wednesday night on TV? Absolutely. He had about 17 fridges that he was going to fix.

Oh, wow. He was going to one day. The hallway all packed. You couldn't walk through the house or anything? It wasn't too – because he had quite a big place, and he had a big sleepout, and the whole sleepout in the garage was all full. His house, the part where he lived in wasn't too bad. Eventually you get around to fixing 17 fridges. Absolutely.

Yeah. Well, hey, great story. Thank you so much, Tegan. Really do appreciate it. Oh, good. Have a good day. My nana, God bless her. She was a sweetheart.

Winifred. She would come over and I remember... It's got a good name too. Great name. Old school name, isn't it? We're actually going to talk about old school names after 8 o'clock this morning. Yeah, Winifred, she...

Wouldn't be too many Winifreds these days. Winifred should come back though. Winnie. Winnie, yeah. But she would come over, prolific smoker too. She'd just like light one off one that was finishing.

Right. Non-stop. Chain smoking. Her whole life. Both her two fingers were just like yellow. And then her bedroom wall just covered in nicotine stain. There's nicotine everywhere. Right.

But then I remember she would come over and play memory. Remember that game memory? Yeah. You put all the cards down. We had a glass table. But I would slide underneath the glass table and get in and remember everything. But she was too busy lighting cigarettes to notice. So, yeah, I didn't get much from her apart from having to scrub.

The glass table? Yeah, I think we got to keep the glass table. That was lovely, yeah. We got to scrub her walls down too before we had to sell the house. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Big submission going through for Eden Park to get 12 concerts a year as opposed to six at the moment because we keep missing out on big concerts like Taylor Swift,

Olivia Rodrigo, there we go. That's what we're missing out on. Yeah, Billie Eilish as well, you know, so they reckon if we can have more concerts, we might get bigger artists coming here. Helen Clark sorted all that though, didn't she? She got rid of the bloody riffraff. Well, yeah, I think less concerts.

Yeah. So now we want more. So they're back to court. Yeah, exactly. Now yesterday we went to Christchurch and just inspiring the youth at the radio school. Megan, giving back to an industry that has taken so much from us over the years. Mainly my hair and our

souls. That was actually a really cool thing to do. But no, it was lovely. And and it's what's the word I'm trying to think of this is why I should have gone to broadcast. It's Billie Eilish?

Is that what you're trying to say? Billie Eilish. It's when you're in a room full of people and they're looking at you and they're like

Confronting? No they're like you're doing the job I want to do and you're like that's an honour. Oh yeah. Well it's a little

scary because they're coming for you. They're youthful, they don't have wrinkles. They've already got better ideas. Game I want to play with you two.

Now this is something that is not acknowledged by the wider public. That is a skill from radio that you would have learnt over the years. And it is annoyingly talking over the introductions of songs. Oh God. What we love in the radio industry, and this is like a fashion designer creating the perfect garment, is when you talk and you end what you're saying

right next to the lyrics the beginning of the lyric it's called hitting the post yeah so what I want to do right now is this is

no but Ben does this every day so he's got no time he doesn't mean I'm very good at it I want you to go blindfolded because usually there's a computer yeah well my computer's

logged off yeah so there's a computer and you can see the clock ticking down to where you go up to the intro. Now, this is stuff radio we should have taught yesterday. Okay?

So, Megan, you can go first. Shut your eyes. Shut your eyes, okay? I'm not even going to tell you the song. Okay. You've just got to babble away, and then you've got to finish just as the lyrics start. This is the game.

Good luck. Here we go. You're on the hits breakfast this morning. Welcome to your Wednesday morning. We have a chance to win $1,000 coming up with the Alpha Quiz. Wouldn't that be nice? Thinking about how you're going to spend that. Listen out for the cuticle.

I wouldn't know if that was another one. She blew it. Okay. Wait, what's the song? It was Tipsy. Here you go, Ben. Shaboosie. Here you go, Ben boys.

Good luck. It is the Hits on your Wednesday morning. Thanks so much for hanging out with us today. We're into spring right now. The weather getting a little better as we head into the warmer months. And coming up for you very shortly. Still got words to say. More stuff from the Broadcasting School and how we inspire the youth.

That's next on the Hits. Ah, too soon. Just too soon. Okay, one more chance each. Megan. Good morning Welcome to the hits breakfast Jono and Ben here

We are only moments away From the alpha quiz There is a cuticle To win a thousand dollars We've done the alpha quiz mate Jono and Ben Are going to waffle on About how they inspired

The youth coming up And here's Beyonce Sweet dreams On the hits Needed a bit more You can feel it coming right Yeah Okay just one for you Ben Good luck This is someday Sweet Dreams. On the hits. Needed a bit more. You can feel it coming, right? Yeah.

Okay, just one for you, Ben. Good luck. This is someday, okay? It is the hits. Shout out to Ben with you on a Wednesday morning. I was told we wound up like this. Why weren't we? No intro there at all. Next, Brian Adams.

We tracked him down. I can't believe this. It's pretty incredible. Brian Adams, who's coming to New Zealand next year. We've got a certificate to show him. He won Best Song Ever. And I don't know how he feels about this. No, I think he thinks we're taking the mickey.

Yeah, let's not. We weren't. Brian Adams joins us in three minutes on The Hits. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Brian Adams coming back to New Zealand. So happy at Hertz Tour. Auckland and Christchurch February next year. And we'll be trying to track him down, the Canadian superstar.

Relentlessly. We, you know, burdened producer Grace with this. Well, you did earlier in the week to track down Brian Adams. And she delivered. Yeah, unbelievably. We caught up with him earlier. Brian Adams, is he there on Zoom? It's me.

Brian Adams, so good to see you. Good morning. How are you? good to see you. Good morning. How are you? Really well, thanks. We didn't think this was going to happen. We didn't think we were going to be able to connect to you because big news here in New Zealand. I don't know if it's reached you,

but we had a competition on our radio station for listeners to vote for the best song ever of all time. And you took it out after hundreds of battles. Summer of 69 was voted New Zealand's number one song. Quality. You seem thrilled. We've got you. We printed out a certificate for you to come and collect in New Zealand.

It's got your face on there, your picture. It says, congratulations, Brian Adams, on having the best song ever. I look really happy in that one. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do. Yeah, I don't know where the photo was taken or anything, but we worked hard on some clip art on Microsoft, and we've made that up for you.

So when you're coming to New Zealand, because I know you're about to come to New Zealand, you can swing by and pick it up. Oh, thanks. I appreciate it. I don't know where that's going to sit in relation to all the accolades you've had in your career, but we've got it for you. Nice one.

We saw you performing with Taylor Swift. I think you were actually ironically performing Summer of 69. I was. Just remember we printed you a certificate, Brian. I was really hoping the certificate would have gone down a bit better, but anyway. I just love the happy photo you chose. Are you happier in this photo there,

or are you happier now on the Zoom call? I'll give you that picture here. You can make a screenshot of it. Beautiful. Yeah, there we go. Okay, that's going to be that. We'll make you a new certificate because that one didn't go. This is a draft.

So you've been playing with Taylor Swift. Is there a band or is there a collaboration that you would like to do? Not really. I don't really think about it that way. Usually these things kind of fall into place. You know, I don't know. You sort of think about something that would be a good idea and then you try and make it happen like when I did with Tina Turner

back years and years ago. Or someone else comes to you and says, hey, I've got good idea then you try and make it happen like when i did with tina turner back in back years years ago or someone else comes to you and says hey i'll get an idea for you are those moments when you do get to play with taylor swift or you play with bruce springsteen and stuff like that is that yeah i mean i guess you've been doing it for so long that's you probably don't get nervous anymore even like with meeting the queen and all those amazing things you've done no you do get nervous i mean you always want to deliver on a super high level. And, you know, if you're working with people that you really like, you want to make sure you do a good job. Working with both, you know, Taylor and Bruce was really fun. And I don't think they were nervous, but it was fun because Bruce and I were practicing backstage.

I think, I can't speak for Bruce personally, but I know that for me It really helped sort of make things easier when we got on stage together. How are you right now with the nerves talking to us? I'm a little nervous talking to you, but you seem to be handling a lot better than me Do you know when cuz you've written so many hit songs Do you know when you've written a dud and at at what point do you go, oh, there's, I better throw this one in the bin? Yeah, you know pretty quickly, actually. Especially if, you know, you're playing for somebody and they start talking to somebody else.

I'd at least politely sit there and bob my head. And then when you asked me, how do you think that one, I was like, that's great, mate, that's fantastic. I think you do know, but, you know, sometimes a dud can become a hit if you work on it long enough. So when you wrote Summer of 69, when you're in the throes of creating that song, did you know it was going to be a massive hit? Because I think I was reading that you almost didn't get on the album. Was that true? Or was that just something that lied to me on Wikipedia? The fact is that when we were making that song,

it went through various stages. It went through two or three demos and I recorded it twice. I had no idea. I don't have any idea about any of my songs, if they are going to do it or not. You make it as good as you can make it at the time and that's it. You obviously must love what you're doing as you can make it at the time. And that's it. Obviously you must love what you're doing. It probably seems like a stupid question. You're coming back to New Zealand, Christchurch, Auckland, so happy at Hertz tour with James

Arthur, but you know, you could not be doing this, traveling the world, you know, playing, playing to thousands of people. What do you still love about it after all these years? This is something about music. It's just when it hits, you feel no pain. That's a lovely, you should turn that into a song it actually is a song it's a song by bob marlin oh well there you go someone's beating you to the chase well done bob thank you so much for answering our zoom link thank you for being so polite about our clip art certificate and we can't wait to uh have you in new zealand yeah can't wait for a bit of photo yeah we'll get a bit of photo

yeah we'll use that one we'll send it to you number one baby number one number one song in New Zealand thank you everybody there we go

Brian Adams The Hits The Jono and Ben Podcast an artist has gone missing and they could be winning you $1,000 today the bounty

is that what you're talking about I'm talking about the bounty The Hits $20,000 bounty. Target acquired. Agent. Transmitting artist

details now. Celine Dion is the artist that has gone missing. So $1,000 when you hear a Celine song or songs between now and 4 o'clock this afternoon. Oh, 100 the hits. You know what to do. And you could be winning $1,000 just like that when you hear the beautiful sound of Celine Dion on the radio.

Damn, she's got some bangers. If you go through all of her bangers, this one. She's got this one. Yeah. Oh, you like that one? How about this? Shut this in your pile. Just power ballad after power ballad, right? Don't stop there, Celine.

Oh, my gosh. You hear song after song between now and four o'clock over 100 of the hits. Now, there was something doing the rounds on TikTok. It's become a news as well. Came from a lady in Australia talking to her, I think, a six-year-old child about some of the names in the child's class. And she came to the realization that there's names that you think are just for you and I, Megan, Jono,

that just feel like your normal stock standard names, suddenly slipping into old person name category because there's no kids being called these names anymore. No, they're called like Daisy Organ or, you know, Tulip Uterus and stuff like that. Aren't they? Feels like they just look at items and go. I've never been a Tulip Uterus. Yeah, so have a listen.

She asked her six-year-old child. She's got an eight-year-old and six-year-old. She asked them if these names, like Sarah, Alex, Jack or Daniel seems pretty were any of them in their classes do you have anyone in your year called Sarah or Alex or Jack or Daniel and she laughed she's like they're old people names and I'm like how about I don't know like Ryan like Steph like any of those names Michelle and she's like no and then she's like no we got like these names i can't even actually say myself and it just makes me realize like we are now that generation that was our parents generation that was like names like god i don't know like karen helen you know

what i mean like joanna yeah so there's your realization for her and us that the names that we thought you you know, they're just the common names. They're suddenly old person names. Yeah. I'm trying to think of my kids' class. I know there's a Michael in there, which is pretty... Oh yeah, Mike. That's a good name.

Bastie. Bastie's an interesting new age name too. You've got a Bastie. Bastion. Yeah, it's different. My daughter's name's Aya, and I thought that was weird, but there's another Aya in there with her. Yeah, now they're going to become the old people names in 30 years or so. So what we wanted to do, 0800 the hits, 4487. You give us a call, you tell us your name,

and then we'll work out if you're over 35 or under 35. Oh, okay. Buy your name. We'll try and see if it's an old – and you can stump us if you want. Maybe you're a younger person with a name like Steve. Okay, or La Cucumber. Yeah, or maybe a name like that. A made-up name.

Clearly a made-up name. Not a made-up name. Bet there's someone out there called La Cucumber. There could be. I bet there is. All right, 100, that's 4487. We've got some help pizza. If we get it wrong...

I feel like this game's got huge scope to offend. Yeah, well, potentially. This is Ben's worst nightmare. Don't call if you're easily offended. Yeah, that's right. It's on you. It's on you. We're not going to say exactly how old you are or you don't have to,

but we can say over 30. We've got a great one to start. We've got Bruce early off. Welcome, Bruce. Bruce. Here you go, mate. Definitely over 30. Yeah.

You're definitely, definitely right twice. We'll hook Bruce up with some hell pizza. That's how it goes. Oh, Andrew, the hits. The name game is next. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. Just although an Australian parent gobsmacked

that there weren't these basic stock standard tried and true names in her child's class. Do you have anyone in your year called Sarah or Alex or Jack or Daniel? And she laughed. She was like, they're old people names. Old people names. I know. They're stock standard names.

Ouch. Responsibility. You know, you feel it as parents naming your child, right? And people say on social media, which is quite true, you never realize how many people you dislike until you're naming names. You're like, what about such and such? You're like, oh, I don't know. I know a such and such. Well, Bastion was going to be a Sebastian such? You're like, oh, I don't know. I know a such and such.

Well, Bastion was going to be a Sebastian, and we were like, oh, no, there's a Sebastian. We know that we need to change it. Please tell more. What does Sebastian do? Shout out to Sebastian, you know. You definitely turned the volume down on what you were about to say about Sebastian there. It'd be from The Little Mermaid, right? Well, you know, that's where Sebastian came from.

So technically, he's a crab or a lobster or whatever so this is a fun game okay you just say your name and then we decide if you're over 30 or under 30 okay uh if you get it based on the name we might get it wrong just based on name alone sometimes voice can be a bit of a teller too can't it um let's start things off with uh cheery good morning to you how are you cheery oh hi cheery, how are you? Cherry Oh hi, Cherry speaking, how are you? Cherry, okay I said Cherry It's also got a bit of a young vibe to it as well

I'm going to go Cherry, you're probably about 59 Very close, couple of years younger Okay, 58 56 We don't have to guess the age, it was just over 30 or under 30 Couple of years younger. Okay. 58. 56. We don't have to guess the age. It was just over 30 or under 30. Yeah, okay.

No, 57. That's all good. Were you named after that Frankie Valli song? Well, funny story is I actually went home from the hospital as Debbie, and then my father went to wet the baby's head, as they did in those days, and he come back with a new name four days later called Sherry. Four days later?

Did he go on a four-day? All my baby's cards named Debbie, and then I got changed to Sherry. Did your dad go on a four-day bender after you were born? No, no, no, no. I guess by the time I got home from the home. He was drinking four days' worth of Sherry, and then he was like, Sherry's the name. I was like, different' worth of sherry and then he was like, sherry's the name. I was like, different times.

Okay, where do we go? Let's go who we got next. Thank you so much, Cherry. Appreciate that. Lorraine. Oh, Lorraine. Lorraine. The law of the rain. The law of the rain. I'm going to say you're teetering on 30. Halfway between.

What age was that? Sorry, love. She just said love. Do you want to change your answer? Definitely over 30. Halfway between. What age was that? Sorry, love. She said love. Do you want to change your answer? Definitely over 30. Jono, just don't be polite. 82. Well, yeah, no, I'm not saying you're close, but I wouldn't mind being that age.

Oh, right. Okay, well, Lorraine, let's just say you're over 30. I am over 30, yes. Yeah, good old school name. That is a good name, Lorraine, let's just say you're over 30. I am over 30, yes. Yeah, good old school name. That is a good name, Lorraine, isn't it? Yeah, beautiful. Yeah, come on, the law of the rain, yes. The law of the rain. Like Winifred, my grandmother, we were talking about earlier in the show.

Love that, Lorraine. You go and have a great day. Me? Well, I'll tell you two names. Okay. That a friend of mine of their son was called. Uh-oh. Okay.

Yep. Yeah. What were they called? Chaos. Chaos. Chaos and Hazard. Jeez, those are some brilliant bogan names you've got there. I do love those.

Those are the boys' names, Chaos and Hazard. And are they? I wouldn't have a clue. Well, probably in those days they might have. Oh, that's awesome. We're going to hook you up with some help each of you. Hold the line. Let's go one more real quickly.

I'm going to go to Stella. Now, this is a toughie. I know a really young Stella. Yeah, so do I. How's it spelt? Oh, okay. How's your name spelt, Stella? We'll never know.

Also, I feel like the voice is a giveaway. I'm going to go under 30. Yeah, I'm going to go under 30. Under 30 or over 30. We're all locking in under 30 for you, Stella. Oh, cliffhanger. I love a radio cliffhanger. Hold there.

We will be back. How old is Stella? Oh, wait. Wait, wait, wait. We'll come back. Under 30 or over 30? Under. Oh, wait. Stella, wait, wait, wait. We'll come back. Under 30 or over 30? Under. Oh, there we go.

We don't have to wait long for that one, Stella. We're going to hook you up with some hell pizza. That's the name game. We'll probably never be back, but that was fun. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.