Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL SHOW: We call Megan's Daddy

Episode Date: August 26, 2024

ON THE SHOW TODAY: The boys teach us the laws of the urinal Ben CONFIDENTLY waves to the wrong person! Is it okay to help a friend flirt through tinder...  Shaving at a traffic light? Dad cooking fails that end in fire! Never let Megan mow your lawn Partner icks! Sam Whitelock reveals his grossest injury We get a reproductive lawyer involved! Facebook: The Hits Breakfast with Jono and Ben Instagram: THEHITSBREAKFASTSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Cheers to Dilma, making the world a better tea. Music rumour going on, the band Oasis, who have been split for 15 years. They broke up after a gig in Paris, 30 years since this week, since the anniversary of the album Definitely Maybe. Wow. 30 years ago. The rumour is that the brothers, the Gallagher brothers,

might be burying the hatchet and potentially playing some concerts in Wembley Stadium. They reckon 10 gigs in Wembley if it happens, which is more than Taylor Swift did, obviously on the Eros tour. But who knows, it could just be publicity for 30 years of the album or something. They've got to get there yet too, because the brothers

They're going to do... And sibling bickering. They've been bickering For decades And as soon as they start Like rehearsing And they're just Going to get arguing again

What was it about? Why were they Bickering to each other? I don't even know But they're really just All through social media They just bag each other All the time

I saw a video Someone came up to Liam And was like Oh you know If you were John Lennon Of the band What was Noel? He was like

Yoko Ono. They're just constantly throwing stones at each other, aren't they? But that'd be good to see. There'd be a lot of, you know, white middle-aged people there. It'd be huge, though. 90,000 is Wembley Stadium. So if they did 10 gigs and sold out, that's close to a million people.

900,000 people would see them. So we'll find out hopefully later this week if that's going to happen. Didn't you pee next to one of the Gallagher brothers? Yeah. Was it Liam or not? Yeah. I can't remember which one. It's hard to tell.

But we were over in Europe for work and we were going to a football game and it was like a Heineken thing. Yeah. And walked into the toilet. Just like one of those port-a-con ones too. You know how they chuck him on the grounds of festivals and things. So sort of temporary sort of urinal situation. Not port-a-loos, but like you wander on into it.

And I was like, oh, there it is. There it is right next to me. And you can't help but look down. Yeah. Surely he would have had access to somewhere better than the portable urinal. Yeah. Than standing next to Jono from Jono and Ben's. Yeah, I did.

I saw. I saw. I saw. I stared. Definitely maybe. Did you? Yeah. Did he say anything?

Saw his morning glory? This is Wonderwall. Did he say anything to you? No, well, I wasn't like, you know, you do it subtly. Right. It's a side eye. You know, you can't help but look. If you're peeing next to a famous person, you're going to look, right?

You're going to look. Well, I don't know. You'd like to give it. But you're surprised that he did it out in public. Didn't Ed Sheeran pee next to our mate Bryce from The Rock? Yeah, Bryce. He looked. Did he look?

Yeah, why? It's just curiosity. Human curiosity. You're like, oh yeah, see? It's so weird to me that guys even do that. Yeah, I'm what they call

a trough coward. You know, so if there's the option there, you go into the... Yeah, I would too. Yeah, no, just to put yourself... Just a bit of privacy.

It'd be nice to, you know. And the trough... You don't want everyone looking at you. Oh yeah, and give yourself a bit of a pep talk be nice to hear. And the trough. You don't want everyone looking at you. Oh, yeah, and give yourself a bit of a pep talk as well. The trough is the most disturbing place that sits on earth, I think. A men's urinal trough. Yeah.

What's the rules there? No, you can't touch shoulders? It's just stare straight ahead, generally. And if there is space, you normally would give yourself space from the other person. Light conversation. How's it going? Good? Yeah.

Pretty good out there? Yeah. Good. Oh, you can converse. You can converse. Sometimes it's best not to. Sometimes it's better to wait until you're washing your hands

or something like that rather than like, you know. I made the fatal mistake the other day where our boss, Matt Anderson, walked in. He was troughing it and walked in.

I initiated a conversation. Oh, no. And then he obviously felt obliged to continue on the conversation. And then I was like, troughing it and walked in I initiated a conversation oh no and then he obviously felt obliged to continue on the conversation and then I was like okay I'm not going to stand next to him

so I went into the cubicle but the conversation kept going as the doors just yeah I shouldn't it was too deep for the

the environment yeah you know who's around who's listening to this is there a trough in here well not a trough no it's a stand up situation right listening to this? Is there a trough in here? Well, no. It's a stand-up situation. And the splashback for the trough too.

I once went to a trough and I had jandals on it. It was very confronting. Boy, it's gross and weird. Jono was a year away one day. Meg and I were talking about it in relation to Father's Day. At what age can you stop calling your dad Daddy? You know, like it feels like there's a certain point that – It does have other connotations, doesn't it, when it's your age? It feels like at some point it's cute when the kids are young,

but when they get a little bit older, you know, like if I'm calling Kevin my dad Daddy, hey Daddy. And do you think the parameter moves if you're like a girl or a boy? Maybe. Maybe you get longer. isn't your netflix account daddy i was talking about the same thing yeah and it's it creeps me out because i keep getting emails going hey daddy there's a movie depends on the tone like hi daddy that's you know lighter tone is uh what's kevin boyce's number let's give him a call let's give him a

daddy live kevin boyce let's not call kevin live No no She's not My dad's in my phone As daddy And like if I Yeah I'll call your dad then Alright If I want something Sometimes I'll be like

Hi daddy Alright call her Yeah cause my dad live I'll call him tomorrow After we play it tomorrow We need to edit that Ben's worried about Calling Kevin live

Because he loves attention He does love a chat He's a great chatter My dad's the same See you can confirm There it says daddy Oh it does say daddy So you'll call your dad daddy Only if I want something He loves a tangent. He does love a chat. He's a great chatter. My dad's the same. See, you can confirm there. It says daddy. Oh, it does say daddy.

So you would call your dad daddy. Only if I want something. Otherwise, it's just dad. But I'd be like, hi, daddy. Yeah, no, I've never called John boy daddy. Only when you were little. I think he would adopt me out if I started calling him daddy. Oh, you call your dad live.

Goodness me. No, you've got to front foot it with Daddy. Just a simple addition of a D and a Y. It's funny that, eh? Yeah. Is he even going to answer? Goodbye, Sam. Hi, Daddy.

How are you? Okay, I'm good. Hi. What are you up to? Oh, me? Yeah. I'm talking to you on the radio. I'm talking to you on the phone. I'm talking to you on the phone.

I'm giving you some content, mate. We're just talking about whether it's unusual to still call your dad Daddy at an adult age. What are your thoughts? Are you okay with me calling you Daddy? Yeah, yeah. It's not all the time, but yeah, sometimes, yeah. What about Jono? Can Jono call you Daddy? All right, wait, eh? Hi, Daddy. He's not all the time, but yeah, sometimes, yeah. What about Jono? Jono, can Jono call you Daddy?

All right, Waino. Hi, Daddy. Daddy, what's a sweet tea? Hey, Big Daddy. Oh, my mum's chiming in now. Big Daddy? Big Daddy. Yeah.

Big Daddy. My 16-year-old granddaughter calls me Poppy. Oh, that's cute. That is cute. Yeah, no, good on you. Well, thank you for answering the phone. Yeah, not a problem. Yeah.

What's the review of the show this morning there, Waino? Oh, it was pretty good. No, it was good. No, it was good. Good. Yeah, yeah. Enlightening. Enlightening.

Oh, that's good. That's a good word for the day. This program has never been called enlightening. I feel like you're just plucking words out of a dictionary or something. But I love it. I love it. All right, Daddy. Bye, Daddy.

See you, Big Daddy. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Chris Hemsworth, actor, filming a new TV show, doing some sort of out there things, pushing himself to the limit and here. It's called Limitless, isn't it? The first season I watched a few of and he went swimming through icy waters

in some crazy part of the world. And then he did some other stuff. But it was all crazy. It was crazy. Yeah. And now he's on stage doing some more crazy stuff with Ed Sheeran. He's playing drums live in concert in front of thousands of people. He doesn't know how to play drums.

No, he just learned drums to play one song in front of Ed Sheeran Pack Stadium. Have a listen. Make some noise for Chris Hemsworth. Baby now. Take me into your loving arms. He sounds like he's doing a far better job than I would have predicted him to do. No, I thought it was going to be really good and it does sound like Chris Hemsworth is just loose.

He's like... All right,, dun, dun, dun. All right, Simon Cowell. Mate, we're not expecting Dave Grohl to roll out. He's just learned the drums, for goodness sake. It's great. There's something that Chris Hemsworth can't do. Oh, far out. Oh, yeah.

Right, though. He did a great job. Oh, jeez. I know. Yesterday we had a meeting with someone at work, didn't we, Jono? And, you know, we hadn't seen this person for a while. If you were going to describe them in a Guess Who game, I would say glasses, brown hair.

That would be two of the things. I'd go, is it the person with glasses and brown hair? Yeah, I would say the same thing. His name's Johnny Wilde. Great guy. Great name, too. Johnny Wilde. This is his birthday.

It's like an actor. I'd love to be called Johnny Wilde. Can you call me Johnny Wilde? Johnny Laser? Johnny? You can be Johnny Laser. I feel like you're never Johnny Wilde? Johnny Laser? Johnny? You can be Johnny Laser. Yeah, great. I feel like you're never going to call me Johnny Laser.

No, definitely not. But yeah, so we're meeting this person. We hadn't seen him for a while and waiting for him to walk through the reception area. And then I was like, oh, that's him. And I did the big wave and the, yay! And I didn't say the name, but I went, g'day. No, you definitely said the name. I remember you were like, Johnny Wilde.

Can I say that out loud? You did. Oh, yeah. Well, as I got closer anyway, I noticed that Johnny Wilde wasn't waving back quite as happily as I was waving at him. It was sort of more of a sort of, hey, mate, what's going on? Yeah. And as I got closer and closer to greet him, I realized it's not him. It was Gary.

Gary from next door. Yeah. Are your glasses on? No, Gary. No, I do know Gary. And as I got closer, I was like, oh, that's Gary. Gary from next door. Are your glasses on? You know Gary. I do know Gary. As I got closer, I was like, oh, that's Gary. Gary's looking at me like, why are you so like,

G'day, mate, Johnny Wilder. Yeah, we were like, Johnny Wilder. He's like, is he giving me a nickname now? I like it. It's a cool name. I rolled it. How did you come back from that? The only similarity between Gary and Johnny Wilder's glasses. Oh, my God.

Yeah, well, he was wearing a hat, and I was like, oh, maybe he's wearing a cap, you know, coming in. It was quite far away, and as I got closer, it's one of those things, you know, when you get closer, you're like, oh, God, that stopped the person. He was blaming the backlight.

He used to have the light pouring through the window, the natural light. Yeah, it was the backlight behind it. Have you had your eyes tested recently? Maybe I need to. Maybe you need glasses. Maybe he's a week away from, you know, how they look down their nose

and have their spectacles at the end of their nose. A week away from there. It's like me walking into a room, have their spectacles at the end of their nose. A week away from that. It's like me walking into a room and you're going, Chris Luxon. A lot of people think that. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. I don't know how you feel about this friend of mine. He's married. He's happily married.

Kid's been married for, I'd say, over 10 years. But he was telling me he's just got into helping his younger workmate, who's sort of late 20s, flirt on Tinder. So helping him script messages back and forth, the banter, and he said it's working a treat. Oh, so he's young, right? And he's like, I've still got it. He's still got it.

And that's what you want. When you hit your 40s, you want to know. You don't want it. You just want to know you've still got it. Still got it, yeah. And that does wonders for a midlife crisis self-esteem how do you guys feel about that weird do you i wouldn't well if you uh went home to andrew and said hey i've been flirting with dudes on tinder uh how would it how

would andrew sit with that what's the time but i've still got you just not in the car yet i do this with my friend okay well, well, there you go. Does it make you feel like a million dollars? So the thing is, is that I don't, like, there's no want from me. But it's like, it's almost the fact that I don't care. So you're like, la, la, la, la. You say whatever. And it's the devil may care confidence, I think, that gets the bites.

Sometimes I reply as her. Yeah, well, what we need to do is set up social media dating platforms for married somethings who don't want to have affairs, but they just want to feel good about themselves. Like a chat GP, it's a bot thing. Maybe it's just bots and not real people. You're like, oh, you struck out with that one. Like InstaDad or Mummagram, where people are like, oh, yeah, I'd give that a bot thing. Maybe it's just bots and not real people. You're like, oh, you struck out with that one. Sort of thing.

Instadad or mummogram where people are like, oh, you know, I'd give that a hoon. Yeah. You just want to know you're hoonable. Is that what you're wanting?

Is that what you're wanting, Megan? I guess that you've still got it. Yeah. Also, on this occasion, you're probably helping out someone though, right? Yeah. Because when you're like,

you're in it, you're so worried about, should I say this? Should I not say that? When it's me, I'm like, just write whatever. Just go for it. Relationship coach, there you go. This is in the same category as when you get ID'd at the supermarket, isn't it?

When I get ID'd, yeah. We've all been ID'd in the supermarket. When was the last time you were ID'd? Mine was like a couple of weeks ago. They said, can I see your ID, sir? You're up on the wanted posters on the wall Shoplifting The hits

The Jono and Ben podcast Morning is driving to work Now you see some interesting stuff on the roads Don't you You would have too When you were working the day shift Megan In peak hour traffic Oh yeah

Especially gridlock traffic Would you multitask Like if you're sitting on the motorway That's dead time to me Like you can get stuff You're like Get stuff off your to-do list. I do, yeah, but not really. Motorway, gridlock traffic, are you trying to get some stuff off your to-do list?

Not while driving at 80, 100 k's, no. No, but while you're still. No, when it's like grid, oh, you don't know what gridlock traffic's like. No, I try to. When you're sitting there going like 2 k's. Yeah, but did you do other stuff? Were you getting morning preparation done while on your commute?

I would have a beverage and do my lipstick. That was about it. Saw a guy shaving this morning. Oh, right. At the lights. Okay. Foam shave, not like a dry shave. Yeah. I was like, wow. That is, you're really running late. Wow. Aren't you? Yeah. He had a flannel and everything.

Oh, okay, flannel. But again, that probably saves him five minutes. If he's having to do that at home in the bathroom, do that on the go. It does. Would you shave your legs? In the car? Well, yeah. God no. Just asking. I don't know. For once, would you bloody shave your legs for us?

It's just a request. In general. Would you shave something? That was unrelated to what we were talking about. Shave your legs. We did speak to somebody. She was shaving her legs on the way to work. Yeah, I think she was. On the way to work.

Yeah, that's what made me think of it. Oh, gosh. Like a dry shave. I guess so. We didn't get into the details. But yeah, no. What I also love about traffic lights In this country too is

The red doesn't mean anything to anyone nowadays You know if your light goes green You almost have to look both ways Don't you? It's crazy People just run the red lights Green is go, orange is get in a bash Go faster

And red is how brave are you feeling You're right though You don't want to anticipate on a green just to go faster. And red is like, how brave are you feeling? Yeah. You're right, though. You don't want to anticipate on a green just to go straight away. But it's a common occurrence, hey? When your light goes green, that someone comes hooning through the interstate. So I'm just like, get rid of the lights. So we'll just do our own thing. It's quite wild when the lights aren't working, though.

Yeah, when they're flashing, everyone's like, who's going? And everyone's sort of tentatively here. Crawling into the middle of the interstate. Of course, everyone's like, who's going? And everyone's sort of tentatively here. Crawling into the middle of the intersection. Everyone's out there in the middle. The road rules completely drop out of your head, don't they? Yeah. I freeze too when there's a siren behind me. I'm like, oh!

Yeah. Panic. Panic, mate. The great thing too is when those lights are flashing orange, if you are behind a car who's brave enough to just get out of that intersection, you know, you get into their slipstream. They take the risk and you, yeah. It's hard for them to turn the tide once that slipstream's going. Totally.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. It's Father's Day on Sunday. And Jono, you wanted to open up the lines on our 100 The Hits, 4487, and talk about dad dinner disasters. Now, we'll front foot it to say not every dad is shocking in the kitchen. I know, you do all the cooking in your household, don't you? A lot of it, yeah. And then you get annoyed when people come and spray tomato sauce all over your meals.

Sometimes. Well, seasoning it without trying it. Oh, yeah. You know, it's like, yeah, or just... Try it first. Try it first, and then if you decide. It's like, what, you know? It's seasoned to perfection out of this kitchen.

Yeah. Thank you. Wides me up a little bit sometimes, but yeah. But yeah, you've given me grief before about, you may be self-conscious actually, sometimes when I would cook dinner for the kids, chuck a couple of the Krayonskis in the microwave. Microwave sausages. 30 to 40 seconds on high, on the super white, super thick white bread,

sauce all over it. That's a dinner, is it? That's a dinner. That's a dad dinner. Well, Ben was like, you can't. That's sac dinner, is it? That's a dinner. That's a dad dinner. And, well, Ben was like, you can't, look, that's sacrilege, making sausages in a microwave. Not even like,

putting a fry pan on it and, you know, doing that. Oh, God. Or an air fryer or something. It's like, oh, chuck it in the pot. Wait, is there any water involved? Or are they just like, dry, saucy in the...

They're just a sausage that just puts crancies on a plate. You poke it, you know, slice a little hole in them. You don't want them bursting. Oh, yeah, okay. There's a fine line between them being cooked

and bursting and exploding the microwave. Yeah, no, I feel like I've offended the Kransky sausage in Slovenia where they originated. Oh, right. By just, you know, recklessly chucking them in a microwave. So now I do them in the pan. And every time I put them in the pan, I'm thinking of Ben Boyce. Oh, good. Because he shamed me out of my microwave.

Andrew, your husband, very good chef. Like, he's next level, right? Yeah, he's a very good cook. Very good baker, actually. You've sampled out of my microwave. Andrew, your husband, very good chef. He's next level, right? Yeah, he's a very good cook. Very good baker, actually. You've sampled one of his cakes. Yeah, I've seen the things he puts on Instagram as well. Well, you guys ran a cafe, so cafe quality food at home, really, isn't it? Yeah, when he does it.

He does it for Instagram. He doesn't often cook for me. So it's always, talking about Instagram, the things you don't, it's a highlight reel of someone's life. You're getting Marmite toast. Yeah, pretty much. So it's always talking about Instagram the things you don't it's a highlight reel of someone's life. You're getting Marmite toast. Yeah pretty much.

So 800 the hits dad dinner disasters have they caused you food poisoning the dads ahead of father's day. Have they burnt down a kitchen.

My dad John Pryor huge fan of kippers on toast. So is my dad. He came from you know cold hard Britain hard Air Force man or something. It's some form of a fish. Like t my dad. He came from, you know, cold, hard Britain, hard Air Force,

man. Is it a fish or something? It's some form of a fish. Like tinned fish. Yeah, right. Like a sardine sort of fish. Oh,

I love sardines as well. And every time mum would be away for the night, dad would be like, kippers and sardines on toast. Same, same. I was like, John,

you don't have to eat like you're in a war, mate. Other food has been invented. One of the hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Dad's in the kitchen having a shocker. That's from time to time. Yeah, Kevin Boyce, what was he like?

Your father's behind the tools. Oh, he dabbles now and again. He's got a sort of, you know, a few meals that he does well. A repertoire. Yeah, and now and again, and then around again, he'll veer off and boil the crap out of some silverbeet or something. Boiled silverbeet. Oh, boomers love a boiled silverbeet.

You know, sometimes you get the silverbeet and your meal will be sitting in a puddle, isn't it? They wouldn't quite drain it properly. Yeah, somewhere along the line, steaming the veggies didn't really get to that generation, you know. You could, like, steam it and have it still kind of a little bit crunchy. Soggy, mate. We'll put the broccoli on when we put the meat on, you know. Four and a half before. Does broccoli mean to be white?

Dad, dinner's ahead of Father's Day. 0800, the hit's the telephone number. Now, Bruce, welcome. How are you? Oh, not too bad, mate. Sadly, I'm ringing to dial myself in. Oh, a guilty. I'm not allowed in the kitchen at home anymore.

My first nistle time into the kitchen, I remember those old Big Ben pies that used to be in those big square boxes, the family pies? Yes. Family pies, they used to be there. I managed to get one of those and it said stick an oven at 180 degrees.

So I did, but nowhere did it tell me to take it out of the box. Sometimes I read instructions on things and it's really like broken down step by step and it's because of you. It's because of people like you. I don't even break it down now. The next time I decided to put something in the oven,

I didn't realise. Those netting curtains, we had one next to our oven. I never really noticed it. And the wind must have blown it, closed the oven. I didn't realise. Those netting curtains, we had one next to our oven. I never really noticed it. And the wind must have blown it. It closed the oven door. Next minute, the alarm's going off. It was on fire as well, the curtains. That was about the second or final time. The last time

was I cooked bacon and eggs. Only bacon and eggs, apparently. And I watched the family sneaking out to the bin. Every one of them sneaked out of the bin. I wasn't watching as they tipped it into the bin. Oh, poor Bruce. Somehow managed to put a curtain inside an oven and set it alight. It's a wonderful effort.

We're going to reward you with some hell pizza because it sounds like you need to get that delivered. You're a danger in the kitchen. Have a good Father's Day, Bruce. Appreciate that. Yeah, and I've been banned from baking chicken Making chicken Gave myself food poisoning

On the barbecue You can't get the heat Apparently the plate doesn't get hot enough To kill the You need a thermometer You need a meat thermometer I was like I like my chicken medium rare Like the steak

I like it pink in the middle I've been banned banned from cooking chicken takes you out too that's like that's a seven day rollercoaster that is campylobacter

did anyone else get sick yes no yes you've had it yeah yeah it's not fun

it's not fun yeah no but you're right there's a guy on Instagram remember he was eating raw chicken though yeah and he seemed to be fine

but we haven't heard from him for a while well maybe he's not fine that's right we put that up on Facebook and we got scolded yeah eating raw chicken though. Yeah, and he seemed to be fine. But we haven't heard from him for a while. Well, maybe he's not fine. That's right. We put that up on Facebook and we got scolded for being irresponsible. It wasn't us that was doing it.

We weren't saying it was a good idea or anything like that, but he was doing it. But you're right, maybe he's not. He's doing 100 days of raw chicken, wasn't he? Maybe he's no longer with us.

I haven't seen that. Our condolences. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. I mentioned something yesterday on the show that's... It was just a passing comment and you two both stopped me in my tracks and were like, Our condolences. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. I mentioned something yesterday on the show that... It was just a passing comment,

and you two both stopped me in my tracks and were like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah. Unusual. I mean, I could see what... You do you, but it is probably a bit more unusual compared to a lot of other people.

It is. Well, do you explain your theory when approaching lawn mowing in your house? So I... My mum mows the lawn, and so I quite like mowing the lawn too. I've just like, I don't know, it's quite cathartic. It is, yeah. Satisfying once the job's done.

My husband doesn't like it when I mow the lawn because I am like a free spirit. So a lot of people, they get quite finicky and they get like, like it's to be in lines and like everything to be trimmed perfectly. It's how law knowing is done. It's a mathematical process, up and down. What do you do? So sometimes I go one way and then I'll go down the other way and then we've got a washing line.

So I go around it in a circle and then I like to make the circle go out wider. It's like a crop circle. The other way. And sometimes, sometimes I've done like sort of a zigzag. Yeah. Just feeling the vibe. I'm just like a free spirit. Well, lawns will kind of get done in the end though, I guess.

Just feel the vibe when it comes to, I'm like, oh, there's a patch over there. I'll go do that. I can see if Andrew's looking out the window how that would raise the anxiety levels. Sometimes he comes home and he's like, have you mowed the lawns? I was like, yes! You are welcome. Yeah, because there's clumps of grass that you've missed all over the place. Do you miss anything by doing it or not?

I don't think so. I generally get it all, but I don't do the edging which he is annoyed about. I don't pride myself on much in life because probably I don't have many other things to cut in my life. But the lawn is one of them. And up and down

straight lines. But a day goes past a day passes and you can't tell. Yeah, no, you're right. It's grown a little bit. Ben's very anti-grass. He shaved off his dreadlocks

and became anti-grass. And now he's just got the backyard of Wimbledon. It's true too. It's a game changer, guys. It's a game changer. My lawn is very short, and even that's a part. I just can't be bothered doing that at the front.

It's tiny. It'll take me 10 minutes if that. Would you mow it in lines? There's not much to kind of go back and forth. So, yeah, because I'm kind of with you, Megan. I can kind of take it or leave it, which way you do it. It kind of gets done. I get a bit frustrated when out the front

of the property because I do a little bit that kind of goes onto the neighbours and then I'm like who do I how far do I go my wife's always

you've got to mow the whole thing you do you've got to be a good neighbour you can't have that passive aggressive line down the boom

I'm fine with mowing the neighbours boom but my husband's like don't do it because that you no they'll look out and be like

whoa zig zaggy boom no there's a Pandora's box once you do open it up I get you it because that you know they'll look out and be like what a zig zaggy boom no there's a Pandora's box once you do open it up I get you it's like you bringing one of your beautiful cakes in here that you've made

yeah okay what do I start cutting that in circles straight life straight life the hits the Jono and Ben podcast

so what's the little ick that your partner has that you know just starts to get on your nerves not in a bad way but just a little comical ick because because Megan, you think you've got one? Yeah.

Should I tell you what it is? Oh, no. Well, don't worry about that. Don't worry about that, because our fine team behind the scenes here have tracked down your partner, Andrew Pappas, and he joins us on the phone now. Andrew, how are you? Good, good, good. To what do I owe the pleasure?

Oh, you don't know what we're calling? Oh, okay. It hasn't been prearranged. Okay, well. Now, does Andrew know about this potential thing that you're talking about? Yeah. Have you discussed it? Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. Last night it was told to me. Oh, I love that. Yeah. Do you know what this is, Andrew? It's Megan brushing her teeth with her eyes closed. Oh, is that the idea? Do you do it this is, Andrew? It's Megan brushing her teeth with her eyes closed. Oh, is that the idea?

Do you do it with your eyes closed? Yeah. Who does that? I say... Isn't that the weirdest thing? That is quite unusual. You're right. Yeah.

So what, you just... I never really thought about it, but I close my eyes and I concentrate on where I'm brushing. But I brush my teeth for probably a good minute. And your eyes are shut the entire time. Really? Yeah, that's a bit weird. That is a bit weird.

That is a bit weird. The weird part is we do everything sort of together, right? So we call it the bedtime parade. It's moisturizing, under-eye cream, the whole lot, brushing teeth. And I'm standing there brushing my teeth just looking at her, and Megan's brushing her teeth looking at the back of her eyelids. It's very lonely. You guys are, again, we've said it before, vomit-inducingly cute.

You even do your bedtime goodnight rituals together. The bedtime parade. They've got a cute name for it, wasn't it? Because I always find it weird. Some people go to bed separately. Yeah, all the time. I literally never have done that. Really?

Because Andrew doesn't get up as early as you. No, but he still goes to bed with me, eh, babe? Yeah, all the time. I literally never have done that. Really? Because Andrew, he doesn't get up as early as you. No, but he still goes to bed with me, eh, babe? Yeah, I do. But the one thing we do separately is brush our teeth, apparently. She doesn't want to look at you. Doesn't want to look at you when you brush your teeth. That's so weird. I'm with him.

It's a little unusual. I finally gave him the ick. It took 13 years to weird you out about something, though. I thought the ick was going to be, I couldn't think I could love you anymore. One of those icks. Oh no. Really, it's hardly a crack. I'll be saying the cracks are in the relationship,

but not really. What's my ick then, babe? Since we come clean. Oh, have you got an ick? Andrew's ick. Here we go. Is it the fact that every day you have a new business venture where I have to sit down and listen to your new business idea?

Or it could be that even when I mow the lawns, you still get upset because I mow it round and round in circles rather than in straight lines? Or it might be that we need to... Hold back, hold back. I want to hear more about these business ventures. What have we got on the boil today, Andrew? Hey, our last business venture got you this house.

I'm just saying. It was one out of a million. He's talking about the cafe. Oh, that was a good business venture. He wanted to start a hotel chain one time. I was like, oh, we just need to pay the mortgage first. Love it. Big ideas.

Love it. Hey, Andrew, go and have a great day, mate. All right. Cheers, guys. See you, buddy. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. So what's the little ick that your partner has that, you know, just starts to get on your nerves?

Not in a bad way, but just a little comical ick. Because, Megan, you think you've got one. Yeah. Should I tell you what it is? Oh, no. Don't worry about that. Don't worry about that because our fine team behind the scenes here have tracked down your partner, Andrew Pappas.

And he joins us on the phone now. Andrew, how are you? Good, good, good. To what do I owe the pleasure? Oh, you don't know what we're calling? It hasn't been prearranged. Okay, well. Does Andrew know about this potential thing that you're talking about?

Have you discussed it? Yeah. Last night it was told to me. Oh, I love that. Yeah. Do you know what this is, Andrew? It's Megan brushing her teeth with her eyes closed. Oh, is that the answer?

Do you do it with your eyes closed? Yeah. Who does that? I said... Isn't that the weirdest thing? That is quite unusual. You're right. Yeah.

So what, you just... I never really thought about it, but I close my eyes and I concentrate on where I'm brushing. But I brush my teeth for probably a good minute. And your eyes are shut the entire time. Really? Yeah, that's a bit weird. That is a bit weird.

We do everything sort of together, right? So we call it the bedtime parade. It's moisturizing, under eye cream, the whole lot, brushing teeth. And I'm standing there brushing my teeth just looking at her and Megan's brushing her teeth looking at the back of her eyelids. It's very lonely. You guys are, again, we've said it before, vomit-inducingly cute.

You even do your bedtime goodnight rituals together. Bedtime parade. They've got a cute name for it, wasn't it? Some people go to bed separately. Yeah, all the time. I literally never have done that. But really, because Andrew, he doesn't get up as early as you. No, but he still goes to bed with me, eh, babe?

Yeah, I do. But the one thing we do separately is brush our teeth, apparently. She doesn't want to look at you. Doesn't want to look at you when you brush your teeth. That's so weird. I'm with him. That's a little unusual. Finally gave him the ick.

It took 13 years to weird you out about something. I thought the ick was going to be, I couldn't think I could love you anymore. One of those icks. Oh, no. Really, it's hardly a crack. I'll be saying cracks are in the relationship. We're not really.

What's my ick then, babe? Since we come clean, what's my ick? Oh, have you got an X? Andrew's X. Here we go. Is it the fact that every day you have a new business venture where I have to sit down and listen to your new business idea? Or it could be that even when I mow the lawns,

you still get upset because I mow it round and round in circles rather than in straight lines? Or it might be that we need to... Hold back, hold back. Hold back. I want to hear more about these business ventures. What have we got on the boil today, Andrew? Hey, our last business venture got you this house.

I'm just saying. It was one out of a million. He's talking about the cafe. Oh, that was a good business venture. He wanted to start a hotel chain one time. I was like, oh, I need to pay the mortgage first. Love it. Big ideas. Love it. Hey, Andrew, go and the mortgage first. Love it. Big ideas.

Love it. Hey, Andrew, go and have a great day, mate. All right. Cheers, guys. See you, buddy. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Today, we had a very interesting DM, Egan. We thought we should do a bit more following up on it.

Yeah. Someone slid into the DMs. Now, they were a friend of a particular lady, hunting child support. So, yeah, her friend, she broke up with her husband. They had, while they were together, an embryo, which they'd planned to use, although they broke up. So she then got permission from her ex-husband to use the embryo. She had a baby two years down the track, the child is two,

and she now wants child support, when part of the agreement was that he didn't want any part of the child's life. Yeah, now, this was sort of upsetting her friend, who was like, I don't know if I should say something, because she didn't believe that she should be seeking child support payment. Her words were she felt like she'd trapped him. Yeah, and this was the feedback from you. In my eyes, surely you'd get something written down to say,

but technically it's not going to be my child kind of thing. But it's unfair on him if he didn't want to have any more kids or if he's in another marriage with kids, it's extremely unfair on him. I'm defending her. Her friends should tell her 100% that it's not right. He's done her a solid. He's been a good guy. He said, yeah, okay, that's cool.

Given his demands or whatever you want to call them. And then she's just gone totally against that. Now, Zandra, we have tracked down, the team have tracked down a reproductive lawyer. Someone who specialises in this kind of situation. Now, Zandra joins us on the phone. Good morning to you. Good morning, you Good morning team Lovely, now just to clarify

We're not paying per hour for this How's this work? No, no, no, absolutely not Alright, okay Because it would come off Ben's credit card He's got 63 million views on the internet at the moment I've got any money It's all about the views though, right?

All about the views Hey Zandra, now you've heard the scenario Legally, we're just quite interested to know From a legal standpoint All about the views though, right? All about the views. Hey, Sandra, now you've heard the scenario. Legally, we're just, you know, quite interested to know from a legal standpoint, where does everyone sit? Well, look, absolutely in terms of the ex-husband, who I think is one of your listeners just said did her a favour. You know, he is exposed. He's exposed to pay child support in terms of he's consented to her using the embryo

and I assume is on the birth certificate, which then, of course, makes him a father and a guardian. In saying that, though, there would be grounds to argue that with IRD and apply for what's called an admin review. But yeah, I mean, I'm not going to sound like a lawyer here, but it's exactly what I am. It's so important to get something documented and get an agreement and get the independent advice before so that everybody knows.

So get it in writing, just saying get it in writing. Because what's the thing? A verbal agreement, I guess it is kind of like he says, she says, or whatever the situation is, right? Yeah, absolutely. But also to just get that two lawyers, each get your own lawyer, get independent legal advice, get it documented in an agreement. It doesn't cost a lot.

We do these quite regularly with these they call donor agreements. And everybody knows where they stand, that you're not going to be a parent who's got the responsibility day to day. You're not going to go on the birth certificate. You're not going to apply at a later stage to be a guardian. But important for the guy in this scenario, not going to be responsible financially. So I've heard from the friend friend and we know that there was no official contract so it was a verbal agreement but she's not sure if he is on the birth certificate. Say he's not but they only have a verbal agreement where would they stand with child support in that scenario? Yeah that will be really difficult for her to get child support in that scenario and so

that's key that's the key bit is he on the birth certificate support in that scenario. And so that's key. That's the key bit. Is he on the birth certificate or not? If he's not, then that's going to make it very difficult. Well, Zandra, if anyone finds their life falling apart, how do they get a hold of you? Just Google my name. Just look me up. It's quite unique.

Yes, that's great. Now, I've never heard the name Zandra. It's a wonderful name. Thank you. Yeah, it is good. It is good. Good name. Good name. You, I've never heard the name Sandra. It's a wonderful name. Thank you. Yeah, it is good. It is good. Good name. Good name.

You like the name, Ben? I do. I love the name. Good name. It's all right. It's like you had a personalized plate. You just thought, I couldn't get Sandra, so I'll just get the Z version. It was good.

I like it. Yes, perfect. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. All Black Legends, Sam Whitelock's got a brand new book out. It's called A View from the Second Row, and he joins us right now. Good morning, Sam. How are you? Good morning. How are we? Interview number what about this book of yours, mate? What are we up to?

Today, I think it's about six or seven. We're pumping them out, which is good. Just so we can learn before we move forward. Worst question, best question. I'll give you that feedback after the interview. Okay. All right. I'm not saying it's going to happen here You're on the best side One thing I noticed

in your book as well when you made 100 games for the All Blacks which is a great honour and you played many more after that, you got like 150 texts Is that a regular thing or just for special games that you get so much text when playing for the All Blacks? Yeah, it can be, but it's not every week.

I remember my first game I played, I had one of the games that you always dreamed about, and I had all these messages and people coming out of the woodworks that played with you in the under-10s and things like that. It was so humbling. And about three test matches later, I think I got one from my now-wife, mum, and I think Nana. So I went from 300 messages down to three. So it is a good way to keep you pretty grounded.

And what does your mum, what's the typical text from your mum like? Because my mum would be like, oh, you did okay, but here's a couple of work-ons. Mum's a little bit that way. She'll just, because mum used to, you know, watch us as people, not actually the team at times. She'd watch us come flying into a ruck and then would get up and be limping a bit and she'd be all worried.

So sometimes she'd actually have to ask, oh, who scored that try? Because she's not actually watching the game, she's watching us as kids. Anyone that's got kids probably understands that. She's watching as a mum. She's watching, you're looking a little tired out there, Sam. Don't be afraid to come off if you need a break. Yeah, yeah.

You need a haircut. We've got Sam Whitelock with us. His new book View from the Second Row is out now. Now, Sam, quickfire questions. Last book you read? I'm currently reading the Sean Wallace, The Dark Destroyer book. Oh, no way. You're a fan of The Chase, are you?

Yeah, yeah. I was lucky enough to meet Sean a couple of years ago and started off a bit of a friendship and seen him a couple of times when we've been in the UK. He's a massive All Black fan. Yeah, he loves it. It's pretty cool to, you know, as a team, we had a bit of a mock chase thing against him. And he absolutely smoked us.

But yeah, it's pretty cool. Definitely bring him along to the pub quiz next time you're in London. Okay, best photo in the book, because there's a lot of photos. It would have to be the one where you're standing over John Key, right? And you look like you're from, looks like a photo out of Lord of the Rings, and he's like a hobbit and you're just like one of the big orcs or something. That's probably one of my favourites.

The John Key photo, we had heaps of fun with it. I got married about a year later and the photographer's like, right, we're going to do the reverse John Key to make my wife look real tall and me tiny and that, but it was a pretty cool moment. Is it weird when, you know, you guys are all getting changed,

you're half naked, you know, the Prime Minister walks into the changing room and you're like, oh! Yeah, sometimes you walk into the sheds and sometimes there's royalty there and Wyatt Crockett tells a good story about meeting Prince William and his wife Kate. And he's standing there with his blazer on, tie, white top, but he's only in his undies and his socks. He's not sure if he should shake hands or run away. Feels like someone should be holding them at the door just a couple of minutes.

Everyone got their pants on? Sam Whiteley, well, congratulations on the book and such a stellar career. of minutes everyone got their pants on pants on oh Sam well congratulations on the book and such a stellar career and before you go one grim story that you

couldn't put in the book we're not going to play that on the hits he's not going to tell it on the hits

more a photo I talk about the injuries and Ethan DeGroote stood on my ear and the doctor could

put his finger through it so I put a photo of it on my phone you can't see the doctor's finger through my ear and the doctor could put his finger through it so i've got a part of it on my phone you pretty much see the doctor's finger through my ear so oh my god you could add like one of them you come in can we sit can i see it yeah yeah all the kids on my phone have a blood folder so all the injuries are different you could add like one of the magazine back in the day they

had the sealed section you could add like a little sealed section of the book that you could have ripped open to see the grim photos or something if you wanted to, but not. Hey, Sam Whitelock. So best question, worst question from the last five minutes. I reckon the one about what's the story that you didn't put in there. Oh, yeah. Was probably the best. Yeah, I reckon, yeah, it's up there.

Really good. That was kind of throwaway at the end there but you did well John well we pretty much wrapped you up but he was like I thought we haven't had a good

question yet Prince William a lot of talk about his holiday beard that he had oh beard yeah beard

it's not like a beard to sleep on a beard on his face yeah it looked good it looked good. It looked good with a bit of stubble. Has he shaved the top of his head yet? No.

I don't think they're allowed to. They're not allowed to shave the head? No, it's like a royal thing. Because I'm surprised he had a beard. Just give him, like, surely. Just give the guy a pair of clippers. If he wants, yeah, you're right. From one to another.

From one balding white man to another. You need to. They do hold on to the royals, don't they, when you actually think about it, for dear life. Don't they? Yeah. At least he hasn't done the comb-over. Prince Philip, he was a comb-over.

He was. He was a comb-over, wasn't he? It always works well until you get a gust of wind and then things aren't so good, right? Hey, Dilma, great supporters of the show and we've got a great prize up for grabs. The Hits and Dilma, do try it. You could be winning $1,000 to split between you and someone you know, as well as a Dilma tea prize pack.

If you can convince someone to listen to the show, to do try it, to try our radio show for a week, if they can do so, we'll test them at the end of the week. If they can do so, we'll test them at the end of the week. If they get five out of five of the questions right, they'll win the $1,000 to split between the two of you. It's bribery at its best, isn't it? Yeah, absolute radio bribery. Now we had

Gemma nominate her boss, Joe, yesterday. She works with Joe every day and unfortunately, Joe doesn't listen to the radio show. So Gemma was trying to flip her friend Joe and at the end of the week, if she answers five questions correct about the program, she's going to win $500 for herself and $500 for Gemma as well. Pretty good price though, isn't it? We called her yesterday and I'm trying to find the bloody thing, guys.

I'm going to pull back the curtain. Where did it go? We had audio. Should we let him just sit in this moment? Yeah, you can sit. I can save you. Right now I can definitely

talk about other stuff. We can make it feel like we know exactly what's going on a better radio show would be glossing over this guess what mate guess what what has your mate done he's come through well no time to play it

now no it was a call yesterday we made to check if they were still listening at work day at their work hello Gemma speaking we made to check if they were still listening at work day at their work. Hello, Gemma speaking. Hello, this is your friendly radio station audit. Ah, how you doing? Yeah, a bit of a spot check.

How's it going with the boss? Yeah, good, good. She has made the switch. Oh, and how is it in the office? It is on at the moment. Has there been any complaints, audible complaints from her so far? No, no, not at all. She's been quite enjoying the music and the chat. We'll be checking him.

We'll be checking him sporadically throughout the week. I think she's a bit nervous. Why's that? On Friday, on the pop quiz. Oh, she should be. We'll be testing her. Yeah. I know.

You can work together as a team? We do, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we sit literally a couple of metres away. Okay, great. You guys probably know what it's like. We'll keep in touch. Unfortunately, I have to sit across from these two all morning.

I know she's moved around further too. I used to sit closer to Ben and then I moved away. And some reason I'm like, oh, there was some sort of excuse why you did it. I was like, okay, whatever, mate. I was just better for the feng shui or something. I'm like, okay. He's got too much riz, Deneep. Too much riz.

It's distracting. Yeah. Hey, thank you, Gemma. Very Sigma. Very Sigma. You know the words. It's good.