Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL SHOW: We Confront The White House About Claiming They Split The Atom...

Episode Date: January 21, 2025

ON THE SHOW TODAY How Ben ended up topless in a Themepark Megan ended up with two flat tires and her hubby had the biggest told you so My cat came back from the dead!!! Is this the best scam? What we would have as a secret button as Trump brings back his coke button... Can you return a Christmas card? Ben reveals he's HAPPY Megan didn't reply to the text! Jono's weird relationship with his memory foam pillow... Facebook: The Hits Breakfast with Jono, Ben & Megan Instagram: THEHITSBREAKFAST See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Yeah! John O'Bannon Megan. The podcast. The hits. Welcome to the podcast on a Wednesday. A really fun one for you today and also one that we educate the United States of America on. You know, we go all the way to the top. We went straight to Congress to educate them. About something that was said yesterday. I mean, Trump said some outlandish stuff, but this is something that affected you, Megan, affected New Zealand. And we righted that wrong today, right? I don't know how receptive they were. I don't know if they did right it

actually in the end. No, you might be right actually. We left them probably more confused. And we're just talking about Elon Musk's big wave he did to the crowd as well. Is that what we're calling it? His big wave?

I'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt. But it did, doubling down on it did look like it was potentially premeditated. I did have a meeting with our big bosses yesterday and I flagged right at the start of the

meeting, I was like, can I get it taken down and wiped from all memory that I said I liked and fancied Elon Musk? Remember that? And there's video evidence of me talking about it on the show last year. Yeah. No, you can't. How I found him attractive. I'd just like to PSA that's gone.

Okay. Yeah, and I'm not going to say, you know, like, but every human being is flawed in some way. You know, you did put people on a pedestal, but everyone has got things that you go, okay, that's, and I'm not saying, excuse whatever, this is what he did. I'm not saying that for a second.

Every now and then, sometimes people are closet nuts. You know, I'm not saying that. And that's probably, and then, sometimes people are closet nuts. I'm not saying that. But you know what I mean. You don't know. You know what you know at the time, and then you find out things later, and you can change your mind.

Also, just like, again, don't agree with it, and I've wiped my, I don't fancy him anymore, but playing devil's advocate, he has got Asperger's syndrome. Yeah, right. So maybe he was just getting excited. Like, again, devil's advocate. I don't know.

Who knows? Who knows what's going on? He's made a silly choice in a way. It's interesting looking and we're talking about this off air, you know,

looking at the people that were there sort of in Trump's corner. Everyone from every technology that you use basically, every social media app were all there. The CEO of Google,

Elon Musk, who does X and SpaceX and everything. Amazon, Jeff Bezos. Yeah. Zuckerberg. Zuckerberg. The guy who, the CEO of OpenAI.

Yeah. Even the, you know, I'm not saying all these people were in his pocket, but some of them They were sitting behind his family. Yeah. And it was quite a reduced crowd. And then all the sort of Jim Bro boys as well too. The lads, the lads. Joe Rogan.

Joe Rogan. Jake Paul. Jake Paul. Jake Paul. Even Jake Paul, Mike Tyson were hanging out afterwards. crowd and then all the sort of gym bro boys as well too the lads the lads joe rogan joe rogan jake paul jake paul even jake paul mike tyson were hanging out afterwards what's that dana what dana white was so really interesting who who goes to these things and not and you know so yeah and a snoop dog performed too which was kind of interesting you know from where snoop dog's been in the past and what he's doing now but then in some ways people are saying you know, from where Snoop Dogg's been in the past and what he's doing now. But then in some ways people are saying, you know, can you leave politics at the door for those performers or not? I don't know. Keep your friends closer, your enemies closer?

I don't know. Here we go. I'll tell you one thing for sure. We're not going to solve it here. On the podcast intro. No, we're definitely not. No, we're probably right. This is political as we get. The show's not quite there. Yeah, enjoy the podcast.

Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. Just a password update. Can't get in, guys. Can't get in. Yeah, it's frightening. You've got to have complex passwords required for this company.

It says you need to use uppercase, lowercase, numeric, symbols. I love it when they give you, you know, when they suggest a password, those websites. And you're like, well, I'm never going to remember any of those letters. And they're like, don't write it down anywhere. Three quarters of this is Egyptian hieroglyphics. And you're like, well, how have I got a what? So anyway.

Yeah. Good luck with that. They give you a countdown too. They're like six days, five days. Do you wait till the very end? Well, clearly. Oh, are you locked out? I'm locked out, baby.

Oh, okay. They give you a countdown. I'm sure they do. Well, clearly. Oh, are you locked out? I'm locked out, baby. Oh, okay, they give you a countdown, Jomo. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're present in a countdown. I'm sure they are. I'm completely the idiot in this scenario, there's no doubt about it. Now, yesterday, the inauguration, a lot of stuff coming out following the inauguration. He went in and signed

a lot of presidential documents in front of a crowd, too. Yeah. Wrestling-like, wasn't it? It was. It was very unusual, you unusual. I always find those so they get to sign executive orders which is pretty much the president just gets to go no. Do anything. Yeah.

I think when Trump was last in there they were like, free Joe Exotic the Tiger King from prison. Give him a presidential pardon. Joe Exotic? He signed a whole lot of things. He also brought back The Diet Coke button To the office So he's got a little box

On his desk That he opens up And he pushes the button And that means he wants A Diet Coke I want that And that's in straight away Day one

Bang And it's back in there Can't Hey I'm no expert But can't an order for Diet Coke Just be done via his mouth Over the phone Yeah

Well maybe he's busy though Like we could be talking right now And I could just push the button. Bang. Bang. A diet coke comes on in there. Great. I had another rumour about

what's under the White House presidential desk, too. There's another button under there, too. Shuts down the internet. Shuts down the internet. Boom. One button can end the internet.

Well, it sounded like it could be a joke, but now that he's tight with everyone that owns every site on the internet, I mean, Elon Musk was there. Google CEO. Everyone was there, so maybe there is a button that can shut down the internet.

We're always joking like he's, you know, looking at some content that he doesn't want to be caught looking at, and then Melania walks in and he's like, oh, shut down the internet. And then like seven Diet Cokes come in and he's like, wrong button! What were you looking at? I Zealand a little bit up in arms

Following President Trump's inauguration speech He made a wild claim He makes a lot of wild claims But this one in particular has really annoyed New Zealand And it probably wasn't a wild claim in his head He probably just read it off a script But it's really annoyed New Zealand particularly you Megan have a listen lifted billions from poverty harnessed electricity split the atom split the atom so yeah we were listening to this

while I was listening to a lot of his speech in real time yesterday I heard that live straight away I looked at you guys and I was like, ha, split the atom. You did. You actually, to your credit, you did. You were probably the first off the bat, the first New Zealander to get wound up about it. Now the whole country's up in arms. Yeah, Nelson, me and Nick Smith's wound up about it as well.

He's like, hey, no, this is our thing. This is Nelson's thing. That's why it got, because I'm from Nelson and we have a monument out near Wakefield, I think it is, of Ernest Rutherford. It's like, we're very proud of that. It's our international claim to fame. And so I was like, no,

Donald. You're saying that Nelson doesn't have much going for it. Sunshine hours and splitting the ad. Those are the two things. Don't go and take that away, Kyle. Exactly, don't take that away, New Zealand. I'll tell you what, later in the show we should try and correct that. We should, yeah. Right the wrongs.

Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. The whole world talking about the Donald Trump inauguration. He's back as president, the 47th president of America. He said a lot of things. He seemed a bit subdued in his first speech, didn't he? Not usually Trump-like, but he rattled off a whole lot of things very quickly.

And he probably thought we'd miss this one over here in New Zealand, all the things that America have done. My ears pricked up straight away. You were the first person, actually, when we heard it. Hang on. Because I was listening to it play out live, and he was rattling off all the achievements of America, some true, some just like wild accusations,

including one about Nelson in New Zealand. Lifted billions from poverty, harnessed electricity, split the atom. Split the atom. Yeah, America splitting the atom. No, it was Ernest Rutherford from Nelson. So Ernest Rutherford from Nelson. We have a monument down there. We're very proud of it.

And he just rolled it off like America had done it. He did it in 1917, but did it in the UK, Ernest Rutherford. My question is, was he just born in Nelson? And then basically, is he more British than, you know, is he like Keith Urban? We try and lay claim to Keith Urban. He was here. Yes. I don't want to take away the shine.

Yes, he was born there. And I don't know how much time we spent there. But we birthed him. Can the UK have more credit for creating his brain you know genetics came from here i'll do some i'll do some digging on that let's not let get like donald trump let's not get the facts get in the way of you know a good story right okay we have more claim to him than donald does absolutely so we thought we need to uh write this wrong so we're going to go through to the White House now.

Thank you for calling the White House. Press 1 for the comments line to leave a message for the President or visit our website at www.whitehouse.gov. Press 2. White House. Oh, hello. How are you going? I'm fine. How may I help you? Oh, listen, it's Jono, Ben and Megan. We're calling from New Zealand.

We just had a little clarification in regards to the president's inauguration speech. All right, so, sir, this is just a directory. We don't speak on the administration here. So I can give you the number to the U.S. Capitol, and you can talk to some congressional members there. Oh, okay. We're going to the Congress, are we? Yes, sir. I'm sorry, but I won't be able number to the U.S. Capitol, and you can talk to some congressional members there. Oh, okay. We're going to the Congress, are we? Yes, sir. I'm sorry, but I won't be able to take your message.

That's all right. We'll go above your head, above your pay grade. That's fine. Thank you. We're taking this to the top. To the top, like Elon Musk was trying to say yesterday with his arm. Okay. All right.

Well, you have a great day. All right. Have a good day. Off to Congress now, guys. New Zealand's going to have its moment. Taking Nelson to Congress. You've reached the United States Capitol switchboard. Please say the name of the senator or representative that you are trying to reach.

Or say I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Confirming. Not sure. Please hold while I connect your call. That was an option, right? Nancy Pelosi? I'm not sure. Oh, I'm not sure. Confirming. Not sure. Please hold while I connect your call. That was an option, right? Nancy Pelosi? I don't know.

I don't know. Who's someone? Hello, the Office of Congress. How can I help you? Hello, the Office of Congress. It's just Jono, Ben and Megan, and we're calling from New Zealand. How are you? Well, how are you?

Good. We're just calling with a slight clarification on the President's inauguration speech, if you don't mind passing that on to someone. Sure. Just a slight amendment. President Trump said that Americans were responsible for splitting the atom. In New Zealand, we'd just like to clarify that it was Ernest Rutherford from Nelson in New Zealand that split the atom. All right. I do want to inform you that our congressional office usually only deals with our constituency

base. All right. Have you got a direct line to the president? Could you just send him a text or an email? Unfortunately not. Listen, I'll be honest with you. New Zealand hasn't got much going for it.

Us splitting the atom is pretty much the only thing we have. We climbed Everest. We climbed Everest as well. Women? First country to give women the right to vote? We've got a few things actually. We have a really nice dessert called pavlova, which we're responsible for, yeah. If I can be totally honest,

I'm confused about the content and purpose of this call. Don't worry. Everyone who listens to this show is confused about the content. That's what our boss says every day. All right. Well, you have a lovely day. We'll leave that with you. All right.

Thank you. Thank you. Confused about the content. Yeah. I understand it. It's quite confusing. I think we've got it sorted, though. It's all sorted.

Leave it with us and we'll get the world issue sorted. Someone's just texted in, too. Ernest Rutherford attended Nelson College, so was educated in New Zealand. Yeah, was born in Brightwater. I was just having a look there as well, just out of Nelson. There he lived. His formative years were here. Went to the UK after high school.

So there you go. We can definitely lay claim to him. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hit. Now, of course, we just came back onto the radio this week from a few weeks away on holiday.

Are you tired? Yeah. I'm like day three. I'm like, all I do is sit and talk. Why am I so exhausted? It's just a lot of concentrating. It's just brutal lot of concentrating. It's just brutal.

It feels like another holiday. But what you notice when you go away on holiday, and I know that there's lots of things, heaps of things, and I've talked about many things that probably make me a very unusual person to travel away with on holiday. I get it. Don't say unusual, say unique. And that's what we love about you. He's up at five in the morning, he's got schedules, to-do lists.

He's spent half an hour soaking matches in the bathroom yesterday. But also your organisational skills are what lets us be a little bit lazy. So we love it. I like her. Active, very active. But my wife, she's a school teacher and what I notice about her is

that she's so awesome. She'll get involved in things that, because she's used to just going along the beach, we go for a walk or whatever and she's starting to pick up rubbish. Next thing you know she's so awesome. She'll get involved in things that, because she's used to just, you know, going along the beach, we go for a walk or whatever, and she's starting to pick up rubbish. Next thing you know, she's got a bag. Like, she's just concentrating on picking it. You know, she's doing things like that,

which is awesome, you know. Every chance, there's always chances for education. Exactly. There's a kid chasing birds next to a cafe, and it was a little kid. She's like, do you mind if I say something? And I said, yeah, I do. And I said, oh, probably not, eh? Just leave the kid alone. And she's like do you mind if i say something i said yeah i do oh no i said oh probably oh probably not hey just leave the kid alone and she's like no and then

she did i said probably not she's like oh it's a half-hearted response from you he's not your student she's like excuse me you probably shouldn't the birds are not lucky you know she said in a lovely way a caring way but i was like that's what she did and we were waiting in a theme park ride in australia we're waiting it was one of those rides where you couldn't take anything while you were waiting. So any loose items, so hats, wallet, phones, everything all had to go into a locker. And then we ended up waiting for like, you know, 45 minutes. Can I suggest Fastpass? Megan had a Fastpass in Australia.

Ben has deep disdain for people who buy Fastpasses. So you waited 45 minutes. I was there with the family, my wife and I, and daughters and stuff. We were waiting in line. It was very hot and waiting 45 minutes to an hour. And then waiting as this line slowly moved. And this guy, you know, because it was quite hot, must have fainted, must have passed out.

And those are one of those situations you all kind of just stand. I do. I stand around. I don't know what to do. But my wife, being a teacher, great. great she's into action she's getting across there she's like trying to work out what we've got we've got no drink bottles no one's got drink bottles because you know no one's got anything she's like does her whistle um she has a really loud whistle to alert the attendant to come on over and then she's like looking around at this guy sort of you know he's conscious and

stuff but he obviously is hot she's like we need to fan him down with something she looked at me you know we've got no i've got no hat got nothing she's like take your top off i'm wearing a cigarette just take it off quick and i'm like quick and i'm like getting told from the teachers i'm like okay take the top off give me your top and then she starts fanning the guy with my with my cigarettes you know your sweetie theme park she's fanning the guy and he slowly sort of you know came to and he was alright but then I sort of

stood there awkwardly it was as particularly when the people from the theme park the people that work there come running on back and then there's this

weird guy half naked half naked around all these children he's so skinny they would have been like look at this poor little malnourished boy

are you lost little fella I was just sort of standing there awkwardly, and then eventually the guy gets helped up, and away they go, and then I get my, to greatly have to put my shirt back on, and I was like, what was the shirt thing, Amanda? She said, you take your time,

and you go, you take your bloody time. Got to save the guy so much. I'll film him for social media, and you do your thing. Exactly. It's a very, very awkward space. No lonelier space in a very, very awkward space. No lonelier space in a very busy theme park.

Wandering around with a shirt in the sky. Awkwardly. Not all heroes wear capes. In fact, sometimes not all heroes wear any clothes at all. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. We got a photo sent to our group chat, didn't we, of you standing outside looking miserable in miserable conditions with an umbrella next to your car.

Yeah. Actually, if you have a moment in your life that you can think of where your partner was like, I told you so, where your partner can, you know, come back and have a go at you for something that you should have done, please let us know. Because yesterday I drove to work fine right in the morning car got here fine parked as we left work yesterday i drove out of the building and i was like this isn't this doesn't feel right not handling correctly right i was like i don't know if this feels good so i went around the block and pulled back up and just did a little walk around my car. And that's when I realized my front tire was flat, like pancaked on the rims to the ground. Oh, wow.

Can you change a tire? Yes, I can. But my spare tire was also flat I Is this where the I told you so Comes in from Andrew your husband Like over a year ago Oh wow Over a year ago I got a puncture and I had

To stop on the motorway and get it changed And put that flat tyre in the Spear because I have Proper tyres in the back so it i have like proper tires in the back so it's not like a space saver i know what he's been saying he's been saying you've got to get that tire appeared and he's been doing it for 12 months literally did i not say the other day when when he gave me a to-do list remember i said it shop around for a tire was on my to-do list underneath book my birthday dinner literally birthday. You should book his birthday dinner.

The day before. Uh-oh. And I read it out on the radio, which. Yeah. So I, yeah, I didn't have a spare tire. Not many wins for guys in marriages. This is, chalk this one up as a huge win, Andrew. You can ride this way for years.

So yeah, I had to call the tire people. They amazingly came to me. They sourced the tyres. They came to me. They changed them. They even balanced out so I had, like, same amount of tread so they wear evenly. So helpful.

They called your husband, apologised, did everything for you. And they're like, yeah, I know, I know, I know. We told her too. And it was pouring with rain too, so the universe was like, suck it. You should have listened to him. Those things always happen on the worst possible day. And also where I had to park my car was right outside the work window of the hits. So everyone was filming me.

I was like, this is going to get worse. Couldn't get worse. So I just text him and I was like, this has happened. I don't want to hear I told you so in this moment. Can we call him now? What's he doing now? he's dealing with children we'll get him i reckon we should get andrew on we can try so he can have the biggest i told you so on public in public on radio yeah to his credit this is gonna make you sick but i was really upset about it so he said i'm glad you're safe i'm

glad you didn't get on the motorway because i love you more than a couple of tires. Does he? I know, yeah. In the back of his mind, he's like, I told you to. Yeah, but also like, yeah, I always got that one right. I think he's even doubling down there, though. He's kind of rubbing that in. He's like, anything that happens from this point forward,

he's going to be like, remember that time? And then remember what I said afterwards. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hat. Driving towards the saying again. We may have a catchphrase, I keep forgetting it. All be fixed by 26. 26, that's right.

It's going to be fine. Now we're going to get Jess on the phone. It's all going to be fixed by 26, Jess, okay? Good morning. Lovely to have you on. Now, I told you so moments in your relationship, what happened? So this is a told you so, but it's me saying I told you so to them.

Oh yeah? On a road trip and somehow our anniversary got brought up and turned around and goes, why are you taking a weekend? And I'm like, no it's not.

He goes, yeah it is. Went back and forth a little bit and actually ran and says, that's your first wife sweating anniversary. Oh! So technically he had an anniversary

and the date's correct He's like well I've remembered the most important marriage Anniversary That's a hammer to recover from Thanks for remembering your first wife It was a quiet road trip I've had a I told you so moment on a road trip Actually now come to think of it

My wife and I travelling through the states We're doing a huge drive from the states The two of us from the states to Canada to see her auntie and we put it I put it in the place

we're going Scarborough who was the place and I put it in the GPS and my wife's a teacher and she kept going I feel like we need to be going more west

because the sun's setting in the west and I'm like Scarborough's on the thing Scarborough's on the thing so you don't need to go off the sun setting now we're all in there

GPS you're not Moana don't follow the stars as you keep saying and then like an thing. It's like, you don't need to go off the sun setting now. Put it all in there. GPS. You're not Moana. Don't follow the stars. As you keep saying. And then an hour later, she's like, I feel like we're going. I'm like, look, it's on the thing. It's on the thing. And then eventually I checked it out.

There's two. One in America and one in Canada of the place we were going. We were going completely off. You were going to drive to America. Oh, God, were you wrong? We were in America driving to the right. She is Moana. Yeah. I was like, damn it. It was a America driving to the right. She is Moana.

Yeah. I was like, damn it. It was a huge three-hour adding on. I told you so, too. Because I wouldn't look at the GPS properly. Well, at least you didn't remember your first wife's anniversary. That's right. Hey, Jess, thanks for your call, mate.

Really appreciate it. Now, Megan, a huge I told you so moment. Yesterday, I got a puncture in my my tyre and everyone around me was like, put the spear on, except my spear also had a puncture. Like, what are the odds? And my husband had been telling me for over a year to get it fixed. And you haven't given him the chance. You haven't even let him say the words I told you so.

I preempted a text and said, I'm already really upset. Don't say I told you so. Okay. Well, we feel like he needs that opportunity. Yeah, exactly. The platform. Yeah, let's call him, eh? Good morning.

Good morning. We know you're busy. You're managing kids, are you? I've just finished drop-off. Oh, great. He's free. Oh, no. Everything's clear.

How's the tyres in the car? Are they going all right? They're fully inflated? It's looking very good. Very good. Good, good. I always like to check the inflation of tyres before the spare's looking good in the car you're currently driving. Yeah, you've got to make sure all the wheels are good, eh?

Yeah, that's right. Yeah, it'd be a very irresponsible motorist that wouldn't keep on top of that admin. Especially if you left it for at least 12 months. Yeah, yeah. I ain't been reminded in a to-do list. But anyway, that's, you know, that's just a hypothetical situation,

right? I mean, yeah, yeah. Let's hope that doesn't happen. Yeah, you don't want that happening. Andrew, we're giving you the opportunity. Megan says you haven't said I told you so.

We are giving you the opportunity to say these magical three words right now on the radio. It's four words, but yeah. Oh, sorry. Look, babe.

I need to learn basic maths. That aside, we'll get to that later. Oh, sorry. Look, babe. I need to learn basic maths. That aside, we'll get to that later. Look, babe. Look, I am genuinely quite, I'm very happy that you're safe and that nothing serious happened. But. But some time has passed, a whole 24 hours, and I told you so. Yeah.

Those magical three words. Yeah. It's your one time. You've used it now. You can't bank it up for future. The one time I've said it out loud, but the many times I've put it in my email. And you can always, you know, from years from now,

you can always go, hey, remember that time. You know, you can always keep calling back to it. No, you can't. Oh, this is the end, is it? Yes, it's done now. Oh, good on you, Andrew. Thank you, mate. I'll be on my gravestone. No, you can't. This is the end, is it? Yes, it's done now. Oh, good on you, Andrew. Thank you, mate. It'll be on my gravestone.

I told you so. Drive safe, everyone. Thanks, Andrew. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hit. I have an amazing story today going around. I mean, an unfortunate story, but it's got a happy ending in a lot of ways. Their cat was getting sent to

Australia from New Zealand. The owners were going to Australia to live, and they wanted to take the cat. No, I know you've got a cat. If you moved country, would you? Look, to me, kids would like, I don't think I would have an option to even consider. No, but I would say the kids here don't exist,

and we're asking you. Would you pay the money to take your cat with you? Now I would like an honest answer Well, look, I wouldn't want the cat to be out of home or anything like that, you know so I would, oh look, yes, okay, I would take the cat. Liar. He definitely wouldn't He'd re-home it

He's definitely leaving that roaming around the neighbourhood He doesn't even like you anyway It's amazing when it's food and he's like, he's your best friend. He's like, oh, the cat's here. Oh, the cat, the cat. The rest of the day he's like, he doesn't want anything to do with me. You're like a teenager.

He just wants you. Sickle. Yeah. So anyway, this cat's going to Australia with the family. They'd organised through the airline. And I think there's a special, people that send animals away, they work with the airline. So they put it on the freight on the airline to Australia uh cat got all the way to Australia uh and then the family waited around for the cat to come off the plane that didn't happen

where do they put do they just bring them out at the baggage claim well I don't know there must be a special year it comes with right I guess yeah I don't know and they're like oh it didn't happen then they went what happened where's our cat and they went uh oh we've sent it back to New Zealand it's gone back so the cat went over from New Zealand

Australia back from Australia to New Zealand and they're like oh that's right we'll send the cat back again and the cat had to go

three times in a row three times in a row they made sure obviously it was feared and looked after in between and the cat's fine

but the cat clocking up I tell you what between. And the cat's fine, but the cat, whoo, clocking up air points. I tell you what, they're lucky. The airline's lucky cats can't talk. I reckon they'd be the Karens of the animal world. That cat would have some stuff to say and some demands. Free flights for the rest of their nine lives. Exactly. The dogs would be like, Ben, they'd be like, oh, that's okay.

That's okay. It's fun. It's been an experience. They just got out of the house. You're right, the cats would be like, no. they'll be like, oh, that's okay. That's okay. It's fun. It's been an experience. I just got out of the house. You're right, the cats will be like, no. Yeah, they'll want some results. Scratchy. So what we want to chuck open, your miracle pet stories.

A lot of stories, particularly of cats who they get lost on holiday at someone's batch or holiday home or Airbnb or something. Then they can't find them, so the family just has to leave. And then they, through through some miracle nature's GPS make their way back to the house two years later they're quite impressive

by that aren't they yeah we actually moved when we were in Masterton like I think we were about 5km away from where we moved for a while

with the cat we brought the cat obviously with us and the cat would just multiple times would walk back to the old house we'd get a call

from the people at the house we were at going hey your cat's back and you're like it's a big walk maybe it has mates you don't know about.

What's true? And you just took it away from all its mates. Friday night drinks and stuff. Catch up with the boys. Let's not. I've got no miracle pets. The only miracle thing that my dog does is vomit on a car ride. So much of a miracle thing.

Tell you what, that's multitasking, driving at 100 k's, dealing with a vomiting dog on your lap. They say you can't multitask. Well, you can. It's the proof. Oh, 800 of the hits. Okay, well, we've set the bar very, very low. What is your miracle pet story?

Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. Cats unfortunately ended up going from Australia, from New Zealand to Australia, back from Australia to New Zealand, and then New Zealand to Australia again after they didn't quite get the cat out of the plane when it arrived.

The cat's fine, but heck of a day for the cat. Yeah. That happened to my cell phone once, remember? That's right, yeah. Went over for work, and not as cool as a cat, obviously. No, not quite as traumatic as a cell phone, is it? Still track the cell phone going. But the cat is fine.

But a miracle story about animals and pets and that's what we wanted this morning on 0800 The Hats. Andrew, what's your miracle pet story? Hey, we can make our schnauzers sing, mate.

Oh, schnauzers, what songs is it singing? Uh, no, I could just, yeah. Ben,

it's not, it's not going to belt out bloody Lady Gaga. Katy Perry. Yeah. Okay, so it sings along to whatever you're singing.

What do you want, Bradley Cooper, Lady Gaga? What was that duet they did together? I love it. The Shellos. Yeah, I love that. That'd be nice. So less singing and more just making noise, Andrew? Yeah, she howls, mate.

We say sing a song and she'll howl. I've got her here. I can probably do it. Oh, that would be amazing. Okay, I'll just get inside. Sorry, guys. That's all right. What's her name?

Her name's Millie. Millie. She's a schnauzer, a little miniature schnauzer. Oh, that's cute. She's about nine years old. So I'll just get inside. Oh, um. Oh.

Sorry, I've just got to get inside, guys. No, no, that's fine. That's fine. What is it? Kids and animals, they always say? Schnauzers are cute. I've just Googled them. Yeah, yeah.

She's a miniature Schnauzer. She made a wool, so she doesn't molt. So they're good. That's another good thing. Oh, that's cool. Andrew's like, I'm definitely filling in time here. Just waiting for you to... What else can I tell you about my latest?

She's warming up her vocal cords. Yeah, warming up her vocal cords. Come on. Sing it. Sing a song. Sing a song. Yeah. In the

shallalalala lows. Take it Millie. In the shallalalala lows. Hey.

Is that hard? Wow. She's through to boot camp. She can turn around

and roll over. Oh, what a golden buzzer. Very cute. Andrew, that's magnificent.... Golden buzzer. Very cute, Andrew. That's magnificent. Thank you so much for your call, mate.

Really appreciate your time this morning. Okay, excellent. Hey, thanks, guys. See you, mate. That was awesome. Kathy, Miracle Pet Stories. What happened? My cat came back from the dead.

What? Oh, Kathy. One of the nine lives. What happened? Well, he didn't come in for dinner one night, which was not like my cat. The next morning I was walking the dog, and about 20 yards down the road from my place,

I found him dead, side of the road. Oh, no. I know. So I took the dog home, went and picked up the cat, took the cat home, buried him in the garden, had a little funeral. Oh, yeah. I know.

And then sort of got on with life, and two or three days later, he walked in the door looking for his dinner. He's like bloody Jesus. Wait a second. Surprise. So I'm guessing This wasn't your cat That you buried in the backyard

He was a black tuxedo cat You know, white front Four white paws And that's what I buried Oh, so you buried Oh, I'm piecing a dick in the nail I see Or the cat just came back

Let's go with what Jono's thinking The cat came back to life The cat's all good It's like, Kathy, jeez You you went a bit bloody premature there, mate. I've still had some life in me. I know. I was like, this is a miracle. Oh, Kathy, we appreciate your calls.

Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. Now, we've got Larissa in from the office. Because, Larissa, we were talking about scams yesterday. And there's more and more scams floating around at the moment, right? People try to get your hard-earned money. Yes, and they tried to get mine.

Now, was this via email, text? It was via email. So to me it screams scam, but I still had a little laugh at it. Interesting tactic. Now, the way that they worded this email to you. Yeah, unique tactic. So what did they do? So it just started with, hello, pervert.

And I instantly was like, oh, gosh, what have I done? So that's how it started. That's how it started. I was like, okay, I have to continue reading. But that's not to your character. I wouldn't necessarily call you that. No, thank you. Oh, we don't call it to your face.

You'll be like, is this email for me? Oh, yes, it is for me. Okay. Every time Larissa emails is this email for me? Oh, yes. Yes, it is for me. Okay. Every time Larissa emails us, we're like, oh, the pervert is sending another message. I just changed my email address to over at hotmail.com. It started with hello, pervert. Yeah. And then basically said, I know what you do.

You should be ashamed. We know what you've been searching up and looking on your phone. And we know that god will forgive you however not for free and then basically how much is god they didn't specify okay it was probably going to be the follow-up so that's you see obviously you just ignored it and deleted it so yeah like a link that you had to click To get through It was like reply Within 24 hours And we'll release

How do you pay God? Is it PayPal Or was it credit card? They didn't actually send me That address probably Because I could track them Maybe at first Can you after pay?

I probably want to see Who will fall for it Maybe you can It's a numbers game though Because you know At one lucky day They're going to strike a purve They will

Oh God They've got me I knew it was going to happen. The day was coming. Forwarding it to Jonna. I think this is for you. We know what you've been to pay. Name a price.

Also, in my mind, did you go straight to like, no Jella Lawson? In my mind, it was like, hello, pervert. Like, hello, chocolate lovers. No, but I would probably give her some money. Well, thank you very much, Larissa. Go off and do some perverting, mate. Do what you know what to do.

John O'Bannon Megan, the podcast, the hats. Now, Donald Trump, he's been inaugurated. At the inauguration, he's signing all the papers. He's letting thousands of felons out of prison. He's going crazy. He's pulled out of the World Health Organization. The Gulf of Mexico is going to be golf. The Gulf of America.

Yeah. Spelled G-O-L-F now. Probably because it's his favorite sport, right? And you discovered that as soon as he was sworn in, he got a button reinstalled under the desk in the Oval Office. It's really interesting because as soon as Biden obviously moves out of the office, then Trump's people and stuff come in. They change stuff.

I mean, I think they kept the curtains, but they changed the portraits and stuff like that. What does it smell like? Oh, rotting old people. We're spraying around that Glade Mist sort of stuff everywhere. It smells like mothballs in here. I was going to say mothballs. Biden had like a plate of cookies that would always sit on the table. Go rid of that.

You know, things like that. You know, they've just, as you would, you move into a new house, you want to kind of make it your own. I get it. But he's got a button on his desk. Apparently it's in a little box that he got reinstalled. So it opens up the little box. But at any stage, he pushes this red button.

And that's a diet. And this is not a lie. This is not like we're not making this up. This is a Diet Coke button. He loves his Diet Coke. That is such a power play. I think it's Diet Coke. Diet Coke. To have a button in a box when you could just call someone and be like, hey, can I get a

Diet Coke? Push the button, doesn't need to say anything. They come on in with a Diet Coke. Amazing. I don't want to say he's wasted anyone's time here, but like a mini fridge under the desk, would that do the job? That's what I mean. It's a power play. True, you're right. He pushes the button and just squirts into his mouth like a mini fridge under the desk. Would that do the job? That's what I mean. It's a power play. You're right. He pushed the button and it just squirts into his mouth

like a fire hose of Coca-Cola. It's got an on tap like at the bar. He's also got the nuclear button on there as well too, doesn't he? Oh, don't get those confused. I just wanted a Diet Coke. I'm feeling a bit parched.

If the person who did it wired it all incorrectly and so he pushes the nuclear one it just sprays Coke all over China. All sticky. Billion people just sticky head Coke. Ants everywhere. It'd be a nightmare.

Yeah, but it does. Someone will bring in a Diet Coke. Apparently you can use it many, many times throughout the day. And it has done. So we were chatting in here. We've got a panic button under the desk, which may or may not work. Like if we could change that to whatever you wanted it to be,

I would change it to a Coke no sugar button, but that's exactly what I would choose. I'd push the button and a Coke would appear. There is no better use of a button than that. The one thing you have in common with Trump and your hard stance on immigrants.

Yeah, well those two things. For me it's probably, I guess it's probably hand sanitizer button. Yeah, it's probably things like that. Hand sanitizer, toothpick button, toothpick, gum, you know, bring in the trifecta of things I carry around in my pocket at all stages. It probably would be it. When you're like, oh the hand sanitizer. I mean, yeah

I could put it in my pocket, but no, a button would be nice. Someone bring it on in. What would Jono have? A pillow. A pillow would be very lovely. But not nice. Someone bring it on in. What would Jono have? A pillow. A pillow would be very lovely. But not a request for when you fall asleep. Sleepy Jono. I'd have a sound effect button. So when anyone's pitching ideas to me, and I'm the president behind the desk

and they're like, oh, I think we should go and invade Russia. I'd be like, wah, wah, wah. Or another thing for you, because you're not very good at, you're great at conversations but you don't know when to leave a conversation. You push a button, someone comes in and goes, oh, wah. Or another thing for you, because you're not very good at, you're great at conversations, but you don't know when to leave a conversation. You push a button, someone comes in and goes, oh, Mr. President, we need you in a, you know, like it's a, that would be

a handy one. I'd pull you out of an awkward conversation. Because otherwise you'd be like, three appointments backed up, because you're still talking to someone about their mother's sister or something. It's like a save me button. Yeah. Oh, your sound effect button's good. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast.

The hits. Just reinstalled a Diet Coke button at the Oval Office under the desk there. And if you could have a button, what would you create? Great text too. A confetti button. That would be a lovely button. A nightmare for the staff to clean up every time you fire off the confetti button. We've fired many cannons.

That would be nice in this studio, that old confetti button. Although if you bumped it, you'd be like, oh. Look, there's still confetti stuck in the ceiling. Every time we have a winner from the Alpha Quiz, they come in with these high-velocity cannons and picking up the confetti after the show, that's a degrading exercise, isn't it?

Don't act like you've done it. Degrading exercise for someone who doesn't get paid enough. He looks down his nose. I look down at him and go, oh, that's degrading for you. That's sad for you. But you just mentioned too, because I sleep a lot, fall asleep at any moment. It's my only superpower.

There's a button and a pillow could come out. Yeah. You sit there and you get a bit heavy in the eyes. You just push a button and the pillow's there. Do you know, speaking of sleeping, I did a lot of sleeping over the holidays. And I went to a place on holiday and someone had left a memory foam pillow there, which I then ended up using. Oh, right.

But as I'm resting my head on the memory foam, I'm like, whose head does this memory foam pillow remember? How long is it? Like is it a short term memory? Long term memory? Yeah gotcha. Like as soon as my big bald round head is on it the pillow's like

not the right head sorry mate. Or does it now only remember you? And how long does it take to forget the old one? Exactly. I've never really used one but did they not sort of reset? Did they sort of I don't know how it works

this is what got me thinking. Was it comfortable? No. Was someone else's grooves comfy? Yeah, I might have been sleeping in someone else's head hole there. Does the pillow need to go, hey, remind me, when did we sleep together? And I'll reset myself to your configuration. Is this a one-off thing? Am I going back to my partner?

Yeah. I was like, does it reject my head? And if you love it so much, would you take it with you from that? You're like, I need to take this pillow. This pillow knows me.

Knows all my secrets. John O'Bannon Megan, the podcast, the hits. Quickly before we get to seven o'clock, just a quick question. I didn't, I had a moment over the holidays,

didn't know quite what to do. The humble Christmas card. Not something that people do much these days, right? No. And when you do do it, you feel like the admin around it. Every time I write a Christmas card, I go, geez, my handwriting has deteriorated over the last 12 months.

You're not used to doing it. But anyway, we got given one. I'm not very good as a handy person, so now and again I get a regular guy to come around and help out with some stuff. And he gave a lovely Christmas card to us, left, and I thought it was nice, opened it up, but it wasn't for us. It was to the such and help out with some stuff and he gave a lovely christmas card to us left and i saw that nice open it up but it wasn't for us it was for to the such and such family i say smith family thanks for all the work and i'm like oh i've got their card are they gonna get my card and then do i let them know or just put i was like oh let's not let them know because you know when did you get the christmas card on the mantelpiece for the smith family temporarily i

did because it'd be awkward if you rung him you were like, hey, we've got the wrong Christmas card. He was like, oh, you don't I didn't write one for you. Yeah, exactly. So I don't know what to do. So maybe we should just stop doing Christmas cards. Yeah. It would be more awkward if the card was just for Amanda. Hey, thanks for having me

over the house, fixing all your stuff. That was from me, yeah. Fixing all your stuff. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. The Riddler. Thanks to Dilmar, yeah. Dilmar teaser. The Riddler is back for 2025 and I'll tell you what, I was riddled with sea lice over

the holiday break. Did you get bitten by sea lice? What? Apparently it was around a few places, yeah. I did read about it. I didn't actually get bitten by sea lice. My upper thighs and the deep caves of my undercarriage look like Are you sure it's

sea lice? Do you need to go to the doctor? Might be something else. Thousands of little sniper dots. Yeah.

Why were they drawn to that area? If you want to win $100. Hard to resist down there I tell you. Dilmar tea hot and cold tea prize pack.

Dilmar trying to make the world a better tea. Do try it. We're going to have a riddle for you in just a second but first I'd like to do one for We're going to have a riddle for you in just a second, but first I'd like to do one for the room,

a bespoke riddle for the room. So here it is, just for you, Megan and Jono. Okay, what is this? What is this situation? I glow with tics, a sign I'm sent. Ben waits in Gold Coast, his patience spent. I buzz, I flash, I long for a reply, but Megan leaves me high and dry.

What am I? A lonely Ben boy is trying to text me in the Gold Coast. Yeah, what's that message left on read when Megan didn't reply back? So there you go. You're good at that. I did reply back. Just the other day. What would you have done together in the Gold Coast? What was your

dream date? To be honest, the dream situation was this. As much as I love hanging out, it was nice to have time away with the family. We were busy, you were busy. We were with our family. And now I get to really go, oh, I messaged. This is the dream situation.

That's why he messaged me on WhatsApp, if he really wanted to get a hold of me. Amen, sister. Amen. This is the dream situation. You feel obligated to catch up with people that you live in the same city with, but if you're both in a different location. Despite the fact you're on holiday. Exactly. We would have had a great time.

I'm sure we'd have got up for dinner or whatever. This is the dream scenario. Okay, here's the actual riddle, though, if you know it. Oh, I heard the hits. I have keys but no locks. I have space but no room. You can enter, but you can't go outside. What am I?

I know what it is. Do you know it? Yeah, weirdly. Write it down. Write it down because we need evidence to back this up. We've got $100 in a Del Marti hot and cold tea price pack. The call's already coming through. Carissa, good morning to you. How's life? Oh, it's Solly this morning.

Oh, Solly, how are you? Yeah, good, good. Lovely to have you on the show. How's the morning going so far's Solly this morning. Oh, Solly, how are you? Oh, Solly. Yeah, good, good. Lovely to have you on the show. How's the morning going so far, Solly? Oh, it's beautiful. We're just travelling to Rotorua, so yeah, great. Okay, my friend, you've heard the Riddler, who is... Megan's written it down.

She's got it correct? She's got it. She's nailed it. Okay, Ben was just reading the answer on Megan's. I have keys but no locks. I have space but no room. You can enter but you can't go outside. What am I, Sully?

A keyboard? Yeah, a keyboard. Oh, of course. Keys, locks, space. It's got enter. Yeah, well done. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast.

The hits. Tell you what, if you dreamed of three half-awake radio hosts trying to fumble their way through a quiz, well, you've come to the right place on a Wednesday morning. The New Zealand Herald Daily Quiz with our quiz queen, fresh from her quiz castle, Eleanor.

Hello there. Not even your name, Eleanor, though, is it, Producer Ellie? It's not, but I don't mind you calling me that if you'd like, yeah. Is Ellie your full name? It is, yeah, just Ellie. Okay, just Ellie.

Love it, not just Ellie. Just Ellie. You're Ellie. Yeah, I'm Ellie. Damn right, say it proud. All right, question five. All right, this is actually question number four. You're Ellie. Yeah, I'm Ellie. Damn right. Say it proud. All right. Question five. All right. This is actually question number four.

You're getting a bit ahead of yourself there, John. Bit cocky. Yeah. We may get to question five. Let's find out. All right. Who portrayed US President Richard Nixon in the 1995 film Nixon? Was it Kevin Spacey, Anthony Hopkins, or Tom Hanks?

I've never seen Nixon. I'm saying it's not Hanks I've never seen Nixon I'm saying it's not Hanks Okay so Hopkins Anthony Hopkins I have no recollection of this film at all No And are they trying to throw us off because Spacey was the president

in House of Cards Yeah But then he'd do a good job with that But yeah Oh jeez Are we back on Spacey Is Spacey back in president in House of Cards. Yeah, but then he'd do a good job with that. But yeah, oh jeez. Are we back on Spacey? Is Spacey back in the game?

No, I don't think so. No, Spacey's still out of the game. Okay, we're locking in. We're locking in. Hopkins. Let's go Hopkins. That is correct. Well done.

Yes. Question five, I knew we'd make it. There you go. You manifested that. All right, what is the capital city of alberta canada is it calgary edmonton is it what is it calgary calgary edmonton edmonton uh or victoria

ben you've been to canada you've got an auntie in canada she's in toronto yeah so that's no help to you wait a capital capital city of what? Capital city of the... Of the state Alberta, I guess. Yes, it's not the capital of Calgary. I feel like I always hear Calgary, Alberta, Calgary. I always hear that in the same sentence. Okay. Do you? Do you?

Okay. Just lock it in. Come on. Don't try and facial recognition his way out of this. No. Telling him leading him. It's hard work, isn't it? He said it now.

I feel like it's going to be wrong but let's see how we go it's incorrect I don't know what sentence I heard it in two nice places you can visit

they're far away from each other but it's probably in that context what is the answer it was Edmonton maybe that was the one I kept

hearing that is the New Zealand Herald Daily Quiz thanks so much for playing along with me John O Ben

and Megan the podcast the hits New Zealand Herald Daily Quiz this Thanks so much for playing along with me. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. New Zealand Herald Daily Quiz. This is how we like to start our day. Producer Ali comes on in. We try and get 10 out of 10. If we get one wrong, we stop.

And yesterday we guessed our way to like question seven. So let's see how we go today. All right. Question number one. In which month does the Tour de France cycling race usually start? Is it August, June, or July? I immediately was like July, but then I, you know me, I'm not sporty, especially not cycling. Why were you July?

What were your loins saying? What were the waters doing then? She just was like, what month? And I'm like, July. It's my birthday month, and maybe I'm always like the Tour de France has taken over. And I would say like process of elimination I wouldn't imagine they don't cycle through like

it's quite high altitude so it's not like snow and stuff so you think it would be their summer yeah the northern summer which would be around that time of year

but then the options are all around that time of year aren't they they're all the summer months yeah so really oh god it's the first question

the good thing is you sounded you sounded very intelligent. Are we locking in July? Yeah, go on. That is correct. Well done. I would have been like stupid Tour de France stealing my thunder.

I was saying this to my son Oscar. I was saying him over the summer holidays. I was like, the good thing about just simply existing over a large number of years is you just subliminally digest information without even knowing it. True. So that's exactly what happened there. All right.

Question number two. That is Leo energy right there as well. You're Leo, right? Yeah, I am. Same. Don't steal my thunder. It's my birthday month. Stupid tour de France.

All right. Question number two. Where did Kmart open its first store in New Zealand? Was it Christchurch, Wellington or Auckland? Oh, very good question. I would say you'd immediately leap to Auckland. Yeah. But I don't know why.

But then is it a trick question? Yeah, it could be a trick question. I'm going to say. Christchurch? I'm going to say Auckland. Okay. That is correct. Well done.

That really made us think about that one, didn't it? I know. All right. Question number three What is the hardest substance In the human body Is it enamel Cartilage

Or bone There's an easy gag There's a very easy gag I can But I'm gonna Be the better person Okay It's not an option Jono

Old Jono would have said it Enamel Let's go Let's Like Do I throw it out there It's right It's right out there Okay Old Jono would have said it Enamel? Let's go Let's Like Is our drink stronger than Yeah okay Yeah yeah yeah

Dental experts Yeah