Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL SHOW: Which one of us used to bite their siblings?

Episode Date: April 22, 2026

On today’s show:  The team debates what purchases feel illegal to make on a phone instead of a computer Producer Grace admits she was a full‑on childhood biter... Megan narrowly avoids electrocution after mowing over a hidden live cable! Jono had to give an inspirational speech to a group of high school head prefects and made a joke that didn't land A new vacuum cleaner causes unexpected tension in Ben's household Megan prepares for the long‑awaited fridge plastic peeling ceremony Instagram: @THEHITSBREAKFAST Facebook: The Hits Breakfast with Jono, Ben & MeganSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The John O'Ben and Megan podcast, thanks to Dilma. Goodness really does taste great. Dilma, making the world a better tea. Two, two, two. Rolling. Welcome to the podcast. Megan, you're about to... What?

Buy some clothes. Oh, no, it's just because we've got our radio awards coming up. So I always use it as an excuse to get an e-dress. Oh, gotcha. But I, honestly, it's a gift of mine to gravitate towards clothes that I can't afford. This is what really confuses me about dresses Why can't you wear one that you've worn last year? Not to the...

Why? Why? Why? What? What? Why? Why? Because they're not going to get photos again and it's exactly the same as the year before.

Okay, what about one that's from two years ago? No, not the vibe. Why not the vibe? Because it's the same event. I can wear that dress to like a wedding or something else. I can't wear it. to the radio awards again. Well, have you bought a dress specifically for a wedding?

Yeah. Why don't you wear the wedding dress to radio? But she wants to justify a new dress. Yeah, you missed that part where I said I'd use this to justify buying a new dress. Yeah, I see. Yeah. I see. Do you think you'll come back and go, were you nominated as a show?

Like, that's right. Maybe we got not. Because, yeah, peek behind the curtain and I did. He was like, oh, how'd you go? I was like, we didn't get nominated. We got some, no, we got some modelled after some things, but not for the show. Surely he's not going to be like the budget is lower because you didn't get nominated. That should be a real dick move.

It should be. Yeah, that would be that's top show. That would be a real dick move if he said that. It's probably a good one really. You're not on display. You're not on display. You're not nominated. I know.

Attention's not on you. And it doesn't matter how many drinks you have before because you don't have to, you know, do anything. You're just going to be like, here you go one other thing. So put that lady in a rubbish sack. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The night we get you a nice stop.

Yeah, we get past there, it would be great. Wait, do you mean after the awards? No, I just mean beforehand. You've got plenty of time. We're not going shopping. Wow, that sounds so fun. I've done that before on the way home afterwards. It is actually fun.

I want to go to Camart drunk. Yeah, it was fun. Yeah, I did it once in a walk time with the pub, with the fam, and then we went to Kmart and I was like, yeah. We all found an item. It was great. You should do that. My best friend of that, and I've always wanted to.

So, you know, if the night ends earlier, we could be. the radio awards you can go in your ball gown. Yeah, let's still work. Go to Kmart. Yeah. That's great. Ben doesn't actually, Ben doesn't sound keen. But I'll go with you, Grace. I'll totally go.

Yeah, fine. Okay, all right. Well, enjoy the podcast. Have a good day. And, uh, yeah, Godspeed. John O'Ben and Megan. The podcast. The heads.

To Teresa. Yeah, just coming to terms of the fact. We gave away $1,000 just before for the offer quiz. Yeah, phenomenal efforts there from the title of district council and producer Troy fired off the celebratory confetti cannon, and what you don't see is the dark depressing side of an alpha-quiz win where we have to pick up pieces of confetti one-by-one from the studio floor. It does everywhere too.

It does really do. Get under things and all sorts of around things. But hey, that's what happens when you win. Does this take you back to your days as a male entertainer, Ben, when you had to dig great... After your dance routine? No one's believing that. No, you're right, actually.

Tragic Mike. That was my smile to tragic Mike. Oh, I just feel a bit sorry for him. Should we give him some food? The women are like, whoo-hoo. They look cold. Put a coat on him. Now, I just mentioned before that.

There's something I'd like to eradicate from the internet. And then Megan started listing off a whole list of... Horrific things. Terrific things. This is the... Is it this? Is it that? Is it human trafficking?

I'm like, oh, well, now you're trying to just make me feel like a terrible person. So John is comfortable with everything else apart from this. Yeah, I'd like to go on record and say that. Now, when you go into websites, let's just pick one, like Timu, for example, and pop-up ads. You know, they'll come up with a spinning wheel, spin this wheel, and you're like, I don't want to spin the wheel. I just want to find the tiniest, the world's most minute little cross to close this ad off. But then they hide the clothes thing in the cross now. And you have to have the skills of a surgeon to find the tiny cross for even to get rid of any pop-up community.

commercial now. But also if you slightly don't get it, like the ad pops up and it's like, oh you do want to buy it. You go through. Yeah, I don't. Yeah, you're right. If you don't click on the right thing. And they've designed it that it's so small that if you're on your phone, for example, you use your big old thumb to try and push the cross off.

You're taken through to purchase the item. And yes, there's a bit of human trafficking going on. Organs being sold and distributed on the dark web. Maybe it wouldn't be happening if people could push the cross. Amen, sister. You're on board? Do you know there's a real thing online someone pointed out the other day too about, and I think it's true. There's a generational divide for what you can buy on your phone, what people feel comfortable buying on their phone versus on a computer.

Now, big purchases for probably our generation, that's a computer. There's a computer purchase, you're right. My kids are like tickets or whatever, and people buy flights, they buy on their phone. And I'm like, that seems like it's not a phone thing to me. My wife does this to me a little time. She's like, this is not a phone purchase. You're buying your phone on your phone? Well, no, but people buy it.

Using the phone to buy like holidays and big purchases, they will often buy through the phone. And it feels like that's a younger generation thing. Buying a phone, that's a computer purchase. You're not buying a phone with the phone. Anything big for our generation feels like it's a, you're sitting down. Would people buy a house with a phone? I don't know. I don't know.

Young people probably would. A car? Yeah. Oh yeah, you buy a car with your phone. I would never buy a car with my phone. Dude, there's not much. I would let my phone get in the way of me purchasing. You do it.

You do it all. I died, yeah. But some things I'm like, you know, that's a laptop purchase. That's a sit down on the computer. I don't know. It feels more secure. Big life things, big things. You need a bigger screen.

Make sure everything's right. A more grounded transaction. You're right, Ben. Trusty thumbs. No, you're right. I'm bringing on all these things. After 8 o'clock, I mean, would you buy a fridge with your phone? Not me.

Not me. No, that's a computer. Yeah. John O'Benn and Megan. The podcast. The Hats. Siblings survivors where you can tell your tales and what happened with you and your siblings.

Really, yeah, build some resilience, doesn't it? From what I was an only child, but from the stories I've heard, you know, it makes you make sure the human being you are today, isn't it? It does. Tales of people being run into doorways and stabbed in the back with forks and things like that. You're not going to get that in the real world, hopefully. No. It prepares you for the real world.

It does. Yeah. Now, producer Grace, welcome. You're the youngest in your father. Yeah, I have to know. Two older brothers. So that's quite a... I bet you ran the household.

Oh, you know, I ran that household. I think that's why I am the way I am. Yeah, right. Because I had two older brothers to fight. So it's obvious that you were a bit of a bully, but were they bullying you in the first sense? Well, the whole thing is they were like, they would always stick together, so I was always by myself.

So I think I was just like sad to be by myself, so I bullied them. Oh, so you bullied them back. You were bullying your older brothers. So she was standing up for herself. Yeah. I was like, I'm definitely like Megan's daughter. I have the same energy. And so what would you do to these poor people?

Oh, I messaged my brothers yesterday and I was like, was I a biter? Oh my poor, my poor older brother said, in Malaysia, you were under two and had gone your two front teeth. He was in the lounge and I jumped on his back and bit him scraping my teeth down his back. And he put, hashtag, I survived. And then my other brother said, this just unlocked a memory. You were a big biter. And the first brother said, big is an understatement.

Oh, so that was your thing, a biting. I was really into biting. You know, there are some bitey kids out there. You know, we didn't have bitey kids, but we knew parents are bitey kids and they're so ashamed. You know, they're like, don't see that. No, they were. No, they were. No, they were.

You feel like, your parents were ashamed of you. Yeah, they were. No one's, no one's like, look at me, I've got a biter. No one has a bit bit. Look, she's got the teeth in. Look at it go. My daughter's got a scar on her. I'm from a bitter at daycare.

I'm actually just stoked that it wasn't her. You know what annoys me about that whole situation? What? I get a couple of incidents of being bitten the kids. They never tell you who it is. No, but then you ask the kid and the kid tells you. Oh, yeah. They won't tell you, but then you like, who beat you?

You can just give it a little kick in the shins or something. But think about the bider, okay? The biteer doesn't know what's happening. No, that age, you don't. You don't. No one's thinking about the biter. Well, but no sympathy for the biter. People.

I have sympathy. Yeah. I'm kind of with you. At that age, I don't know. If you were biting people in the office now, I would have no sympathy for you. At age two, I'm like, um, Okay. So Grace's brothers, two older brothers survived her biting.

My sister was a scratcher. Like, yeah, one of my sisters. She was like she would have nails and she'd scratch, just scratch it all like a cat. That was her sort of retaliation. But what was, yeah, retaliation. That's the, yeah. I was never, like, I was just.

Oh, I was never anything. What's that me, Megan? Sitting on a couch. You're like, nothing. Sitting on a couch and they just come and scratch her. Yeah, out of nowhere. Psychological warfare. Out of nowhere, Megan.

You wind people up. Yeah, I would sometimes wander up. You wind me up. Yeah, the same way I wind her up and they'd just get scratched. You don't scratch me. It's because I can't reach you from here. No, probably would. John O'Ben and Megan, the podcast.

We do something on a Thursday called Sibling Survivors. Yeah, we get your tails of what happened in your household dealing with siblings. Producer Grace just a very vulnerable moment. She shared with us that she was a biter, then her mum's was listening and said that Grace was biting all sorts of stuff. Books, boxes, benches. if it could fit inside the jawline she was giving it a bash a lot of body parts as well too

yeah so yeah are you a sibling survivor Ben you were a victim of scratching multiple scratching incidents like an instant Kiwi ticket not undeserved I'm sure it's for the parents to decide right Michelle happy new year to you

happy new year all right you're a survivor a sibling survivor please share yeah so my brother would lock me in his room and play that card game torture. And so I'd end up with bleeding knuckles and had pinched the skin. Do you know tight on the hand that it would be bruised? The boys are drawing a black with torture.

So it was a normal deck of cards, right, and each different suit was like twist it, punch it. Yeah, twist it. Yeah, twist it. And then you'd have like, you'd have like a, a fist and then he would run his knuckles quickly along my hand she's you're like a prisoner of war in there michel and you made it through did you did you ever have a win in the game uh torture no no i was never allowed to play um yeah so i don't know why we played that at school i don't know

why we did yeah because i guess you're waiting for your turn to torture someone else i mean torturing people's the fun bit right you don't want to be the victim in that situation Ra, you're a survivor. What happened? No, it's actually my cousin's neighbours, eh? There was these two brothers. And one brother asked the other brother to pass the pitchwalk, so he did, and it landed in one side of his calf muscle and came out the other side.

Oh! Oh, no. It gets worse. It gets worse. Who's that shirtless guy who wears the tights and he's got a big bed and he's got a pitchfork? Oh, he's like a... It's just on your social media? Not like a Greek god.

Yeah, like a Greek god. We have different algorithms. Yeah, anyway, it's just like him. So what happened? How did it get worse? The mum had to cut the handle off before she could get him in the car to take him to a doctor to get it removed. Oh. So how did she cut it off?

Uh, with a hexel. Oh, so it was like, e-k-k-e-k! Oh! Did you witness this? I did it. I didn't. My cousin came. When I saw my cousin the next year, she was like, I can never go to believe.

It was... What those two menaces next door have been doing. Wow. My boyfriend. That is really good, Raha. Thanks for sharing that. John O'Ben and Megan. The podcast.

The Hits. Tales of Sibling Survival. Some of these, some rough, rough things happening to some poor kids around the country. And Nusian, how are you? I'm good. I'm good. So good to speak to you guys. Oh, you too. You too.

Where are you calling from, Euschen? I'm calling from Auckland. Oh, I've heard of it. Yeah. Familiar? Are you on your way into work? Yes, I'm just reaching work, actually. Oh, well, you're a sibling survivor.

What happened to you? What trauma are you trying to get over? Oh, my God. When we were kids, my brother used to love watching WWE. A great start to the story. Yeah. I've been choke slammed. I've been put in a sleeper hole.

He's right the pile driver on me. Oh, no. The Undertaker was his favorite guy. Oh, the Undertaker was. He's a good wrestler in the old Undertaker. He was a professional, though. Yeah, that's the thing. That's the problem, right?

And literally, he would say you have to tap out or I'm not letting you go. Oh, my God. I'm joking out. I'm tapping out. Oh, my God. Where were your parents? Oh, they were busy in the kitchen,

and I would yell, Mom. And then he would. let me go just before she would come in and he's like, I didn't do anything. What was he complaining about? Body slamming me on the dining room table again. Oh, that is wild. Because a lot of wrestlers like picking up chairs as a weapon too. Did he ever use the chairs in the house?

No, fortunately, we were too tiny to pick up chairs. Did you ever get your own back on him? I just realized that I'm a girl and I've got nails and I can scratch him and bite him. So that's what I started doing eventually. It's a popular technique who talks about today. That seems like scratching and biting a net. I guess you've got to use that, eh? Yeah, good on you.

If you don't tap out, I'm not stopping. Wow, we. Hey, thank you so much for your call. Appreciate it. Thank you guys. Have a good day. You too, mate. Haley.

Hi. What happened? You survived. I survived. Yeah, my parents had a vehicle and it had a cigarette lighter in. They both were smoked it. Oh, yeah, those disappeared overnight, didn't they from the old cars? They were a, you're pushing.

them in and it would look like a hot element. Oh that's right yeah. That's it, yes. And my sister one day said taste this and I was younger than her so I just listened and I tasted the lighter and it stuck to my lip. Oh no, it's stuck to your lip. It does look tasty. It does look, but so do urinal cakes and I don't eat those but what happened? What happened? How'd you get it off? She just pulled it off with the skin. skin. With the skin from my lip, yeah. Oh, these are making me feel woozy.

That is, wow. Do you still have a scar? Rightly, but thanks to makeup and stuff like that, I can disguise it. Oh, my goodness. Right in the centre. Oh, that's a tough listen.

Did she feel bad? Or is she in prison now? No, she just said, don't say it was me, so, because... I was the one who decided to pull the lighter out and look at myself. I know, silly me silly me

John O'Ben and Megan The podcast The Hits Get out there on the pitch My friend Has just last weekend Come off probably I'd say one of the more disastrous

Car rentals Probably New Zealand's ever seen So him and a friend They were away for the weekend I think in New Plymouth And they just rented from Hertz Or one of them And they got to some road works

Now the road team Had stopped them and gone Just make sure you drive on the right side of the road. And they're like, cool, yeah, no worries. Now, the road worker then walked down the line of traffic telling them to do, telling the other vehicles to do the same. And then these two guys, they're engaged in conversation going,

what does he mean by right side of the road? Does he mean? That confuse me. Do you drive on the same side of the road as you usually on? Or do we actually go over to the, because we usually left-hand side of the road. Yeah, which would be the right side of the road. Or do we drive on the... Or the right-as-in-correct.

Yeah. The right-hand side of the road. So then they had decided that, that they were going to go down the right-hand side of the road. So both sides were closed off and they were letting one lane through at a time. They said, okay, well, we must go down the right-hand side of the road. Now, the opposite side of the road. To what you normally did.

The wrong side of the road, technically, but maybe in this occasion that's what they meant. That's where they decide. Yeah. That's confusing. So I can see how they've ended up here. Yeah, you can. But then what they ended up doing, without their knowledge, was driving down the freshly laid tarseal. So it wasn't right.

It was wrong. Could they not see that it was freshly laid? Well, I guess, but you don't know what's happening outside the car. Oh. And so they got back to the hotel and the car was covered in tar. Like the whole rental car. Sticky, sticky situation. Oh, yeah.

Have you ever tried to get tar off? No. I've only had like splatters. It's near impossible. On your off your car? Yeah. Yeah, they took it to the rental end. It was a write-off.

Oh, no way. I had to write the car off, yeah. That's when you want your rental insurance where you're like, I'm not going to need that. They got it. They got on the for that. It's the one time that you want it. Yeah, you're like, oh, I didn't take that box. I didn't, you know, we'll be right.

But didn't they, there was no point at point where they were like, maybe we should check and lean out the window. Well, they couldn't because the road worker guys down the black. He's like, make sure you run. But then I was thinking, well, they went down, so all the other traffic would have gone on. That's the road. Oh, they would have followed them. Oh, God.

Disaster. Jeez. But Clara Com's from the roadworking team. What do you do with the car in front of you, and you know they meet the left side, but the car in front of you goes on the right side? Would you follow? You'd probably see the tar splashing up like in and be like,

oh, they've definitely gone down the road. I've got to go the one side. Hopefully. Hopefully. John O'Ben and Megan, the podcast. The hits. Now, Megan, you've been trying to protect Ben's sweet, sensitive, innocent soul.

Have I? Well, she had some sensitive work. placed information then she was like Oh this yeah And she was like I can't tell Ben I can't tell Ben I can't tell me I can't burden Ben with this information Because like you wouldn't want to know

Like you wouldn't want to know the thing And it would sit with you and I respect that And so I've yeah I hadn't given it much thought At all since then so I appreciate it No it's some it's some juicy goss And I know that Ben doesn't like engaging in that And he gets burdened like He gets way down with it

Yeah And anytime he would see anyone related to that, I'm sure you'd be like, he can't handle a secret. He can't handle a secret. He can barely handle a surprise. You can't even do a surprise part. Not a big surprise person. Don't give him any fright. So thank you, Megan. You know, like, you

were talking about that stuff the other day and I was like, that's great, you have a conversation. I ended up talking to Matt Heath. He was outside and from New York Z-B and Radio Hirake and they was having a chance to him, I was like, Matt, you're my conversation while these guys talk about gossip. But then he would have wanted to know that. That's what he said. He's like, I want to know the

gossip. Then as he walked away, he was like, Megan, where's my gossip? And I was like, oh, wait. That's not the point of the conversation. The point of the conversation was you and I having a conversation back. He wanted to know the gossip. Yeah. I wasn't trying to exclude you.

I just know that you don't. Honestly, I appreciate it. I have no, yeah. It's a very endearing quality. I hadn't given it a second thought until John I just brought it back up just then. So I don't feel I'm missing out on anything. So that's great. He hasn't even told his wife big secrets.

No, people tell me that's a secret and I can't tell anyone. I don't tell anyone because I'm like, well, you didn't say. You're a spun. You can tell such and such. It feels like as soon as you spread the secret, they're going to tell one person and they're going to tell one person. Yeah. See, that's very honourable.

I wish I was like that, but I'm not. He's a man of honour. He's a man of honour. My wife will go, you didn't tell me that. You didn't tell me that. I'm like, yep, no one. She's probably like, I'm the one person you can tell. I'll go straight to Amanda with us.

Yeah, you can tell her. Yeah, she'll enjoy it. John O'Ben and Megan, the podcast. The Hits. A $5 million dollar lotto winner last. night pretty awesome ticket in Norquins so well done to whoever that person is didn't have to share it I don't think so right no that would be the most deflating thing wouldn't it is a lot of winner well I mean surely you're happy with the windfall but sharing it yeah having to share if you won the big one right

yeah it'll be a bit disappointing uh now something's going on in my house at the moment there's bit of tension over something I bought um so we're a costume no it wasn't a costume this time fun co-pop no it's not something it's something practical for the house so we had some painters in the house. The kids' bedrooms are getting painted because they were pretty shabby. Because why? Yeah, well, stuff being put on the walls and stuff. And you going around with your Dalmatian paint? Yeah, and I did ruin some stuff as well.

So we had that. And so everything was out of the kids' bedrooms. It's all been done now, you know, but it was all shambles. Everything was in the lounge. It was like we'd been burgled politely or something. And they were about to take it all out. Yeah, they're in the removal process. Yeah, but everything was out and we were about to put stuff back in.

And I was like, well, this is the one chance to really get in vacuum. where there's nothing in the room. Yeah. And I was like, we've got our vacuum cleaner. We've had it for about 10 years, probably our vacuum cleaner. And I could just, I could see stuff on the floor, this vacuum cleaner. I was like, do you know when you can see stuff and it's not picking it up? Yeah.

I'm like, I'm like, I can pick it up with my hands, but the vacuum cleaner's not picking up. I'm like, I've got a vacuum this floor. And that's this time. I was like, so I'm going to get a vacuum. And I'm going to. Was this a frustrated vacuum purchase in the moment of me? Just try and do it and in the way. And I know in my head, my wife's going to have you researched it?

Have you researched it? Have you researched? So that's her thing. Because I'm quite impulsive, just tick it off the list and get it done and move on. Yeah. She's like, researchers.

Well, you're just, like, your research is, does it suck stuff? No. Yeah. I mean,

unless you're getting like a real fancy pants ones, don't they all just... Yeah. And I was like, well, I kind of researched on the way to the shop in the car, you know, when I look at my phone when I stopped.

And I'm like, okay, yeah, that's enough. Is that just so you said you could say you'd done some research? No, I got this vacuum clean and made a call. It wasn't the most expensive. It wasn't the cheapest.

It was somewhere in the middle. It was to do with pets as well, pet thing. And I bought it home. I vacuumed and man, it sucked, but in a good way. Like it picked up so much stuff. Like, to the point you're like, wow, the floors, there's so much has got in this. I'm like, I've made a great purchase. Yeah.

She came home. What's, yeah. I was like, look at this. Look, look what it picked up. Look at that. She's like, yeah. I did. I did some research.

I did some research. Well, the lights were red. What's the issue? Well, I kind of, I'm trying to work out like, does she? you not like it because it's, you know, I made this cool, or is it because it actually, I don't know, I'm trying to work it out because she's like, it's heavy, and it is quite heavy. It's quite heavy back and clean it. Not cordless as well. It's all that, you know, it's like, it's like, it's quite a heavy and I'm like, but I don't have to put it on your

back, right? No, and I think it's brilliant. But I'm like, now I feel like maybe because I just bought it impulsibly, she's, yeah, she's never going to love it. Yeah, she's never going to love it. Yeah, she's never going to love it. The heavier it is, the harder it sucks. Yeah, well, that's a truth. I wondered that as well. Yeah, okay. It's bigger engine, bigger motor. She might be playing an awesome game here, though. I always say, don't get good at what you don't want to do, or weaponised incompetence. Because then you can go, it's too heavy for me.

So guess who's going to have to always do the vacuuming? No vacuum cleaner is too heavy for anyone. Can I just say that on the record? No, it's not. I mean, it's slightly heavy than it, but it's not. Do you want to put up with her complaining about it every single time she uses it, or are you just going to end up doing the vacuuming? Yeah.

What happened to the suck and blow vacuum cleaners? Do you remember those? Oh, you could plug it at the top. Like at the top, you'd lift the lid up and it would... They've gone. They've gone. No more, no more. You'd just the lid and what?

And then, like, so if you had something to blow up, like a mattress. Like a bed or something, yeah. You could flick the mode and it would... Yeah. Had two options. They'd just completely eradicated that from the market. Well, because you probably don't often need that part. The amount of times I needed it.

I lost that. Blown stuff all over town. Okay, well, we might move on from that. I don't know where that's going, but I feel like a good time to wrap it up. John O'Ben and Megan, the podcast, the hits. Now, Megan, you've been teasing us now for one hour and 20 minutes about yet another near-death experience. I'd say this would be the seventh one since we've started working with you. Yeah.

Well, you have to admit, if things had gone wrong in the other times, I would have died. Yeah, like I was saying before, like if anything goes wrong, anyone's... We're always in a near-death experience. It's just being human beings existing on Earth. Okay. Well, there was something that happened when I mowed the lawns that could have directly resulted in my death. Okay. And, I mean, I've talked before about how I mow the lawns.

I'm a bit erratic. But I maintain, at least I do it. Because my husband is always like, I hate doing it. We don't have time. And I'm like, I'll do it. Just leave it to me. I'll do it. I actually quite like being out of my own, hooning round with the lawnline.

I saw something that might be useful for you. I was walking through a park, and the gardeners or the maintenance team there or whatever, had an automatic one. And it was just doing it on its own. Like a robo one. Yeah. Yeah. Just leave those to do the, yeah.

It solves all of your marital issues. Except like if there's poos and stuff, because we're going to dog and I've got to go around and pick up all the poops. I don't want to miss one. You don't want the dog playing with the automatic law. Yeah. Poor Leo. Oh, God.

I know you are trying to off him, but now. I'm not trying to offer. You are. She is. I've just, no, I've just spent a lot of money at the vet for him. But so yesterday I was mowing the lawn, right? And we have a little gate, a gate that separates the grass from the side of the house. And you know how the grass grows up against like the gate?

So I was like, I am going to open the gate. I'm going to open the gate and I'm going to get that bit of grass. I'm going to mow over it. Usually my husband will do it with like the weed eater. And I was like, no, I can't be bothered. I'm just going to open it, mow over it and did a great job. And then after I did that, I noticed something. And I was like, oh my God, why did I not know about this?

So I went inside and I hit up my husband. Hey, did you notice how I'm I belong? Yes, I did. Thank you. Great job. He's not in the shower, by the way. He's not going to say, in the shower. It's very nice thing.

It was just dropping on the horniest conversations with you two. Hey, I'm in the shower. No, that's actually a pan. That's the frying pan sizzling. You guys are in a shower together? No, we're not. It's just fat sizzling on a pan. How wonderful.

Hi. Can you tell me what that cable is over by the fence? The cable? Yes, and as it plugged in? Yeah. Yes, it is plugged in, Megan. What is it for? It's got something to do with the pool. That you don't do anything with. That's my department. Why didn't you tell me that the thing, that the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, it's flora orange. Did you need to be told?

Yeah, because I mowed over it. Oh, now, now we've gone from sort of sexy couple talk to, to, The octaves have raised a couple. I could have died. Megan. But are you less concerned about me and the cable? Well, you didn't die? You're here now.

Why didn't you tell me the cable was there? I just thought you'd see it. Did you see the fence when you were mowing around the fence? You're welcome. Wow, geez, it really changed gears that whole conversation. I'm so good mine the lawns. He's like, did you cut it? And I'm like, no, obviously, because I'm still alive.

But I had no idea there was a freaking live cable. I mean, it does seem like something that you should know. You should be across. It does seem like something that shouldn't be by the grass, right? Yeah, I'm with you on that one. Thank you. Thank you, Ben. And so I did actually mow over it.

I mowed over it, but obviously I didn't have it down low enough to clip the live cable. That would have killed me, right? It does seem a little dangerous to have a live cable running across your lawn. Yeah, I'll admit that. Yeah, I went on. It does seem a little risky. So yeah, I don't know. I think I'm going to retire,

mowing the lawns. It's too much sass. Yeah, do I tell you what? It was sizzling in the pan and sizzling in the kitchen. What's on that conversation? The cracks are getting bigger, Ben. He wants cracks in the perfect marriage. Well, it feels like it is falling apart.

John O'Ben and Megan, the podcast. The Hats. So last night I met you guys that I had said yes to giving some sort of an inspirational speech to a room full of head prefects from around the country here for a conference. And, you know, head prefects, these are the crem de la creme of any school, aren't they? So, just a room full

of really nice, successful young people. And I was like, as soon as I said yes to it, I was like, I instantly regretted it. I was like, I don't know what life advice I could give to head prefix. They're head prefix. They've already done better in life than I'll ever do.

You know? Left school earlier. It was a shambles. So, well, that's true. didn't even get to the final year, did you? No. Maybe it can be warnings. That's what I said.

You know, it could be like a, this is a lesson of whatnot to do in life. But it's hard to, you know, we babble away here every morning. You don't know how many people are listening, maybe three or four. And when you've got to see people's faces

in a smaller room, too. Smaller rooms are harder, yeah, they really are. I always, I get quite nervous doing, you know, smaller ones. Like if it's a big crowd, they all just mould into one. Yes. But people always get surprised because they're like, well, you talk on the radio. It's like, yeah, but we can't see an audience.

Yeah, no, it's... We feel like we're just talking to a couple of mates. Well, you just imagine how many people are disappointed faces listen to this every morning. You don't have to deal with that. You don't have to see it. But then you said Steve Martin, the comedian was like, never look at the audience.

Yeah, he's like, I can be in like a 20,000 seat stadium. And I was like, laughter. And I'll look at someone in the crowd, and I'll just spot that person not laughing. And it's like, oh, he's not liking it. He's not like it. But often people will, and not always, but some people, particularly New Zealand audiences,

will watch and then take it in. They might be enjoying it, but not showing it. And afterwards, go, that was so good. You're like, typical Kiwis, yeah. You didn't show us any of that. You didn't laugh once through the comedy show. It's laughing on the inside. Yeah.

So, listen, I'll cherry pick some things and see what you think, because I don't know they quite landed. Okay. I was like, I look out now and I see doctors, lawyers. teachers, politicians. I even look out there now and I see a couple of you who are probably going to go to prison for fraud.

Thank you, Megan. Thank you, Megan. That's some good stuff. I know you're not talking to me though? Yeah, no, it didn't land last. And then I was like, oh, that didn't land. I'll try and make it land. And I was like,

did you actually say that? I was like, especially you, the table up the back, you look like you can all be involved in a cryptocurrency scam. Then they laughed at that, which is a saving grace. But these are head prefects. They're the last people that are going to.

They're not going to, they're not got it. But you never know. Anyone could go to prison in a fraud scam, Ben. Some of our best friends could end up in prison. And then it was just kind of tried to get into the inspirational part of it, where I was just like, well, the only experience I have is working in a radio station. And I was just like, don't leave.

Whatever workplace you're in, don't leave. Be keen. Say used to everything. Let them set you on fire like they did me. Staple things to your buttocks. Do whatever you need to do. You get to do it. It's on fire.

Yeah, in the initials, you've got to do what you've got to do, baby. You know, there's boundaries now in 2026. Yeah, there's health and safety. HR and things like that, yeah. And then the other one I said was just like, make the most of your 20s because they disappear. Yeah. Really quick, don't they? When you see out of all the decades that go quickly, you're like, what happens to them?

I feel like I, yeah, I covered a lot of ground in my 20s. Yeah, a lot of people do, right? But they do go very fast. They got married. Divorced? Well, yeah, separated. Yeah. Married separators.

Oh, you packed a lot into it, didn't you? Good on you. Yeah. A little decade. Did you inspire them? I don't know. I don't know. But they were genuinely lovely people.

I think so. A couple of them asked, oh, can you come to my school and give that speech? And I'm like, again. The school tour. The inspirational school tour. I've got nothing else to do, so I may as well. Ben and Megan, the podcast.

The hits. I think we just had Theresa win $1,000 in the Alpha Quiz. You can hear producer Troy cleaning up the confederated cannon mess. Yeah, but well done to Teresa. Great way to start the day. Well done to Teresa. Was it worth it? Was it worth it?

Good for the social video. It's not worth it in his life. No, this Dyson is not in the job either. There we go. So if Dyson is listening, actually, we could do it. I'll tell you what, Dyson could be the official sucker of the Alpha Quiz celebrations. So every time we ever win a. We're cleaning up the mess from the celebrations, you know?

Just chucking it out there, Ruth Dyson. That one's had a hard life. It has. It has a hard life. So, well, your fridge has had a hard life, right? Well, I'm trying to protect it from said hard life because I have kept the, you know, the tape, the plastic on the front of it you get when you buy it. I've kept that on for, I think it's like four years.

Yeah, that's a long time. It's, you know, I've only been to your house a handful of times. and it's just been the one honest bugbear that Ben and I have both had. Don't lie. You moan about getting there. That's true. And then you moan about the plastic on my fridge.

And then you've got three lounges. Two lounges. We moaned about that as well. And the dog's quite frisky as well too. He starved of attention. Not a food, but just the potential. And then we moaned that when there was a ghost in your house, we went out there in the medium said,

Ben and me were making the ghost feel uncomfortable, so we got kicked out of the ghost sails. So it's like, why don't even drive four hours? out here. So tomorrow, when you come, can you please, I'm going to peel the plastic off the fridge, can you please hold all other complaints until another time? So tomorrow. Complaints as well, because I brought this.

What have you got? Today, this is your costume that you'll be wearing. Oh, she's got a fridge costume. Can you put it on now, please? You can open it up? We'll put this on the Hitsbury's Instagram. Can you put the fridge on? So it's basically you wear it, you open the doors and you're a fully stocked fridge,

full of produce, meats. That is beautiful. Ice maker on the front? as well, too. Oh, God, don't push that. It's not, I won't be touching it when you're wearing it. Could you put it on now? Do you want me to put it on now?

Love to, yeah, we'll get a picture and we'll put it on the hits pre. Grace next door, producer Grace is shaking a head. She wants it for tomorrow, but hey. Throwing her hands in the air saying the fridge is going to be a surprise tomorrow for the audience. I don't know. It was one of those things I just bought because I saw it. I was like, why would I not have one? And this is really come out.

Sometimes you manifest costumes for occasions. And this is the head question. That looks beautiful. And then open up, show us she wears. Give us a look. Give us a look. Yeah. You open the doors and it's like you're a flasher in a public park.

I got a great pleasure actually about opening my doors like that. Yeah, that's a good. That's a fun costume. So you'll be wearing that tomorrow as the official merch for the unpealing ceremony. So please join us. But one thing I found interesting about you is you don't mind keeping the protective stick. flickering on the fridge, but you won't have any artworks or magnets or anything else attached to the doors.

Yeah, yeah. Well, because, you know what, kids' artwork is like. I hope they're not listening right now. It's a journey, it's a journey, isn't it? Yeah, and I mean, the early year is they're not, you know, I mean, Picasso had to start somewhere, I'm sure Picasso's parents put his pictures on the fridge. Dude, you go, like, bring one of them home from daycare, and they've scribbled on a huge piece of paper.

but with one pencil and they're like, look, what am I going to do with that? That's the biggest act that is a parent has to do, isn't it? They bring home more recycling than you have at home already. Very abstract. It's so beautiful, yeah. And a lot of people, a lot of people who love their kids, put that stuff on the fridge. But other people don't. So we want to know, what's the most unusual thing that you've got on your fridge?

Like maybe it's drawings. But his choice got some very unusual things, apparently. I cannot relate. Like, what are you putting on your fridge? 4487-0-800 that hits the number. Our fridge is kind of like the holding place for like any like detritus we buy overseas. Like fortunes and like photos and postcards. Oh, right.

Clutter. Clutter. It's a pinboard, a magnetic pinboard, yeah. We've got our 2026 fortunes on there, a photo of some temple we saw. Neve's got her certificates, my partner's her certificates, she won at work. Yeah, right. Best improved worker or something. That's wonderful.

Best improved worker or something. that obviously I see it every day and I can't remember we also got a habit tracker that we tick every day if you drink two litres of water you can tick the Monday

Oh okay well She's got a busy fridge door Has anyone got a busier fridge door than producer Troy That's all we'd love to know John O'Ben and Megan The podcast That's what's on the front of your fridge

Of course we're taking the protective plastic off Megan's fridge tomorrow The big unpealing ceremony is happening Same day as the new stadium in Christch Feels like I'm sorry to overshine The new stadium But hey you know

You know a big day. Yesterday. Because he got me nervous that it was stuck on and not going to pull off very well, I did a little like... Tester. Test peel. And? I think it's going to peel off.

Come off in one chunk, one satisfying chunk. That's what we want to hear. I think so. I only did a little bit. Some concern about that. It's what it's going to bring off with the plastic wrapper. Yeah. Now, before we get to the calls, actually, we have a concern, don't we, Cath,

in regards to the peeling of the fridge? We do have a little tiny concern Just a little one What is it, Kath? Well, years ago I had a really bad fridge I bought it new I had extended warranty It kept breaking down

And I got to know all the appliance guys Because they came around every month And they told me that fridges are really only designed For last five to seven years So five to seven years You've had this thing on for four years It's got 12 months of freedom Yep, that's it

And then it's gone Then it's gone Forever, out of your life, forever We'll chuck it in a land, And Phil and let Mother Nature deal with it. Why are they doing that to us? Because my fridge growing up, that lasted like 20 years. Like, you know.

Not anymore. No, Kath says 90 more. It's almost like they want to sell us more fridges or something. Kath, thank you. That's a little concern. But we are talking about what you've got on the fridge door because Megan refuses to have any of her glorious kids' artwork grace the doors of her fridge. I just don't think she likes her children as much as the rest of you.

I just don't want it to look messy. see. Sheree, what have you got? Well, I don't have that problem. I have a glass front fridge, so when we bought it about seven years ago, we went to put something on it and it just fell straight off.

Oh yeah, because it's glass. Oh, yes, it's not going to... Do you feel like everything's on display in the fridge? You have to keep it all tidy? Well, you can't put anything on there, so it's just... Oh, and I mean, inside, though, because you can see through.

Do you feel like there has to be a tiny looking fridge? No, no, no, you can't see through. So there's still a silver fridge, but it's got glass over the top of the front. Must be nice. Yeah, that sounds fancy. It must be nice. God. They would terrify me even more because what if, like, someone runs into it or something hits it?

Smashes the head through the fridge. I don't know what's happening in your house, but you're concerned about. They're children. Everything's happening. And I've got two boys as well. Boys, maybe. No heads through the fridge door yet, Cherie? Not yet.

Not yet. There we go. Christine, so. And there we go, thank you. Glassdoor fridge, so nothing on Cherie's fridge. Naked. Rachel, what have you got? I host international students, and I've got a magnet from all of their countries and

their hometowns on the fridge. Oh, that's a lovely. How many magnets in total? Because that's, you know, sometimes you can go a bit crazy with the magnets, can't you? Yes, but they're always handy. I've got several from Germany, a couple from France, couples from Brazil, Thailand, Colombia, heat. Yeah.

Just everywhere. Busy fridge door. You could like make it a separate piece of art. That was our thing we'd go overseas and we did know. We visited a country or whatever. We'd get a magnet because it was easy to put in the bag. But our fridge is not that magnetic. So they kind of just didn't really work.

Well, I can think of a naked fridge door they could go on Ben. Oh, I can bring him over tomorrow. Yeah. I reckon he'd have some crackers in there, you know, some good sorts. Pun magnets.