Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL SHOW: Who Does Jonathan Van Ness Think Looks the Youngest?

Episode Date: May 8, 2025

On today’s show: Megan reveals a hilariously unnecessary driving purchase We chat with the fabulous Jonathan Van Ness about their upcoming NZ tour Jono’s friend accidentally lands a fake job When were you mistaken for the wrong age? Ben faces a Mother’s Day dilemma—should he really buy his wife a household appliance? Megan steps in! Confessions: When you cheated on your partner… with food Where did Jono and Ben land on the "100 NZ Men vs a Gorilla" list? Would you fall for this April Fools’ prank? Facebook: The Hits Breakfast with Jono, Ben & Megan Instagram: THEHITSBREAKFAST  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Jono, Ben and Megan podcast, thanks to Dilma. Goodness really does taste great. Dilma, making the world a better tea. Welcome to the podcast on your Friday. Now, Megan, we're going to start the podcast with something that you bought. You said a while back you were going to buy this particular item. This is not what I imagined the item to look like, and you bought it in. Followed through.

Where'd you get it from, by the way? Utemu. All right, so they're gloves that you use while driving. You can't see what I'm doing with my fingers right now. Oh, we can. It's a bit of a shadow through the middle finger poking up. So cheap. It's really

hard for businesses when it's so cheap. You know, Temu? And even like my daughter bought something, didn't want it. I went and returned it and I said I don't want it. And they went, eh, great. Just keep it. We'll refund you.

It's like, they were like, eh, it's so cheap. Just say we'll bother sending it back. But we'll refund you. How do you even send it back? Oh, yeah. There is a box. I've done it before. There's a box by the airport that's down the side of a little thing.

You put it in a box. And then they throw it in landfill. It feels a little bit like, yeah, there was a guy on a digger doing something down there. And I'm like, where's the... He's literally tipping stuff. And he was like, no, no,

just go over there and put it in the box where it is and then someone will collect that and take it back. And tip it down there and he'll dig it into the ground. Hopefully they take it back. I'm not besmirching their name, but yeah. You're like, Timu?

Are you down here? Yeah, no, they put it in the box. You'd feel Timu would have more than a box in an alleyway, wouldn't you? Yeah, well, it's good. No one's returning anything, though. This is so cheap. Well, have a listen to what Megan purchased. John O'Byrne and Megan.

The podcast. The hits. I have made a purchase that has literally made my husband recoil. I showed him. He knew that I wanted to get it, and so did you guys, but I've actually followed through. He's actually packing up all his belongings as we speak while you're here. What is it?

It's going to make the whole country go, Is this an ick? I'm going to get an ick. It is an ick. Is it? Yeah. But I don't care. I don't care.

The last internet purchase that was bought in here was from producer Ellie, who bought in her portable bidet, which was kind of looking like an electric toothbrush, but would water blast your undercarriage. Yeah. So what is this? Is it a device? So I've had to roll up my sleeves because I've made the purchase.

Oh, you've got the driving gloves. Oh, the driving gloves. Is it? Look at these. So you put them on your arm. Look, there's a little finger hole. You put your hand in the finger hole. Now, when I imagine driving gloves, I don't know, for some reason I thought chauffeur,

little leather, you know, the glove don't fit, sort of, you know, like those. That looks like you're about to inseminate a cow. It's like, let's put the imagery up on the Hits breakfast so you know, see what we're talking about. Go right up to her elbow. They're white. And they're sort of flaps instead of fingers. No, because you need to, like, you can't,

if you have leather gloves, I do have leather gloves, but in the summer it's too hot, and you can't use your phone. Either this or you're going to put on, like, a sock puppet performance for us or something. You've joined Jim Henson's Muppets. You're like, all right. They are the most ridiculous things I've ever seen.

Can you check Ben's prostate with those? They've got a little finger, little hoop in the middle of it. So my hands are still free to do whatever I need to do. So you don't get sunburn on your hands. And it's great you purchased these heading into winter as well. Because I put sunscreen on my face every single day. Hold your hands up. I'm trying to be very sun smart.

Your hands look like they're in the handmade style now, right? They've got little hoods on and everything. When I have beautiful hands at 80 years old, you're going to be like, nah, it was worth it. Nothing's worth that. Nothing is worth that. It's only when I'm driving.

If I had the option of chopping my arms off or wearing those, I'd chop my arms off. Yeah, I'd put them on and my husband's like, oh, God. You're not going to wear them, honestly, driving around. I sent a photo to producer Grace. She's going to put it on our Instagram. Just carry some sunscreen. I wear sunscreen on my hands, too.

But just chuck that on before you go driving. No, but I forget. Keep it in the car. Yeah, that's an option, too. You need to do one thing this morning driving to work. Head to our Instagram account. I took a photo of me wearing them yesterday. Can we set up a bounce back for that?

Legit in my car. Yeah. Gloves. Gloves. 4487. Text gloves to 4487. We'll send you a photo back so you can mock Megan. Hey, and also, just hit me up if you want to know where I got them from.

I'll send you the link. Don't try and influence them, mate. You're not getting your money back. Just use the text code Megan. No, we're not doing that. When you thought everything had been invented, then you look at that. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. You'll know Jonathan Van Ness from

Netflix's Queer Eye, coming to New Zealand with a brand new comedy show, Hot and Healed, in September this year. Very excited about that. Very excited to have them join us over Zoom right now. Hi. Hey. Very excited that you're coming to New Zealand.

Now, you've been here before. We love to hear celebrities like yourself talking fondly about New Zealand. So give us one thing you remember. Oh, my gosh. I mean, there's so many things I remember. But the last time I was there, when I performed in Auckland, afterwards we went and did karaoke

and my stylist got a little too much to drink. And then the next day on our flight, literally Jason Momoa. And my stylist was knocking on death's door, so hungover. And she was like, of all times for me, like see Jason Momoa on literal flight, like one eye this way, one eye that way.

Her hair was all crazy. And I was like, was like this is why we don't go that hard anymore what did you sing in karaoke what's your karaoke song I always do Leo uh Lewis bleeding love that's my go-to I also really love Lorde. Oh, nice. A little green light, honey. Oh, green light. Love it. What a concert you're putting on. I know. Because you know why? I do my makeup in someone else's car. Love it. Oh, look, you're winning us over again.

I always want to know logistics-wise, I mean, how many bags are you taking on a tour? Well, you have to ask. It's so much. There's like five. Five bags. I used to like open my set with me and Alita doing full on gymnastics.

And when that was in the show, it was like 10. Oh. Are you not doing gymnastics in the show anymore? I don't open the show with gymnastics anymore, because I'm 38.

My ankles were like, you're literally going to break us in half. And it was also kind of like robbing me of a little bit of my stand up because I had to like focus so hard on like this minute and a half that after doing it for so many years i was like i really want to focus on my stand-up what would we have to pay you to do a

double backflip on the camera right now right now no i don't want to be responsible for that i physically can't do a double time i can imagine imagine it. I can do two in a row. Well, that's still impressive. But I couldn't do it up and down. It feels like there's a lot of breakable things behind you on your shelf, so it might not be the best idea. I love a good Molly Shannon. At the moment, we're on a bit of a mission to find out

who is the youngest looking out of the three of us. We want to look a little younger. You're great for giving people makeovers and stuff, so we wanted to know some advice because some elderly folk are going to be judging in about a week's time who looks the youngest. And we thought, you know, can you give us some suggestions for a bit of a

makeover? Oh my God, this is the funnest game we've ever played. You pick. You can pick off at first glance. I can see you staring close. I've loved you for a very long time. Okay, this is Megan trying to get inside your head, Jonathan. Okay, I'm Ben, this is Jono, this is Megan. I wore my faux leather pants for you today. Right now I'm thinking Megan might have everyone.

Oh, this seems to be coming. What can we do? Okay, queer eye for the straight guy. What can we do? Nothing. I'm going to need, I think you might need to You're really inspecting. I just think the hair situation is really what it's doing.

You know what I mean? Me, me. Her hair's just so thick and long. Oh, okay. Yeah, it is long. Luscious. Yeah, you're right. I think her hairline's going to...

Okay. Yeah. She wins with the hairline by default. Big question. Could I pass for 19 years old? How bad's your Zoom quality? I like that. We are just, we are just, we are shooting

to the stars. What a 19 again. What a nightmare that was. I love that you're trying to sell me out of the idea. You don't want to do that. You don't want to do that. Jonathan's right. You don't want to do that again. You look great. Now's a good time you can go, oh, I think we're losing connection.

Jonathan, you're such a great sport. We can't wait to have you in the country. You look great. Let's just say we all look great. Okay? How's that? We can't wait to see you in New Zealand. Thanks so much for your time. We really appreciate it.

If you guys want to come to the show, let us know. I would die to come to the show. Jonathan Van Ness from Queer Eye. the show, let us know. I would die to come to the show. Jonathan Van Ness from Queer Eye. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. Probably last year,

a friend of mine, he has a local pizzeria, just like a suburban small pizzeria and he goes in there and there's a very flustered, flamboyant, you know,

hand gesture-y Italian man who owns the pizzeria. Right, cool. Stereotypesotypes box ticking. But he says he runs the place on his own, and he gets overwhelmed with making pizzas,

taking real-time orders, taking phone orders. Now he's got the Uber drivers coming in at the same time. It would be busy, wouldn't it? Very busy to run on his own. And so my friend has always gone, he really needs another staff member. Wait, literally, is he the only staff member? He's the only guy running it.

He's the only guy running it. And so what he does, because my friend is a regular at least once a week, he goes in there, and if the phone's ringing and my friend's waiting for an order, he's like, you answer that and take the order. So my friend's having to be on the phone, are you a large pepperoni or are you some garlic bread? Okay, da, da, da. So I went with him, and he had told me the story and i didn't i thought he was exaggerating and uh we'd made the order i was just waiting and uh the phone rings and he's like steve calls out

to my friend and my friend just knows what to do now he's up he's actually a pro at it now he'll write down the uh the order he hands it and he sticks it up on the little thing above the pizza oven there. And I'm like, are you getting any discounts on your pizza? Because you're doing a lot of free. Yeah, that's true. The option is he does answer the phone and then the sale's gone. So is he getting discounts or he's just doing it for the good?

No, just for the good of his heart. To be fair, he's only there for like 10 minutes, isn't he? He's doing 10 minutes work. You add that up over a year. Okay. You add that up over a year. Okay. You add that up over a year, but he can't say no to the guy as well. Because Italians, they can just be explaining the most simple thing, but it feels very forceful, doesn't it?

It's quite persuasive. Yeah, very persuasive. Do you know any proprietors that, well, you're almost friend, almost on a friend level? You go into a shop so rich like a dairy owner it's weird when people

do know your name or know your order that's kind of one of those things just my courier driver yeah separate from your packages yeah

have you got a good relationship with your courier driver yeah great don't know their name yeah same with the pizza hut guy he knows

hey man how are you getting the same again so you got some jalapeno poppers Yeah Yeah you can form some Wonderful friendships With those people can't you

And you even take Phone orders as well As we just found out Jono, Ben and Megan The podcast The hits We want to know When you've been misaged

Or you've accidentally Misaged someone Because Megan Has been Granted the Lifelong compliment that you look 19 in a photo. I'm going to dine out on that forever.

You said you got ID'd, we sent you to the... You've always argued, you're like, you don't get ID'd. Well, we put it to the test yesterday. Hi, how's it going? I'm literally here to buy alcohol. I'm literally here to buy just like a few

cans of alcohol oh my god sorry? ID? ID! did you he asked for my ID oh

this is Megan do you mind handing us over to to the wonderful gentleman now be honest be honest they can't hear you right now did they walk into the shop Megan, do you mind handing us over to the wonderful gentleman? Now, be honest. Be honest. They can't hear you right now.

Did they walk into the shop, and did they get you to ask her for ID? No. Yeah, but she looks young. That's why. She looks young. The photo that she, well, someone claims she looks 19, and you can text Megan to 4487, and we'll send that to you right now. The photo was taken this year too, by the way. You threw it out to the internet,

which I thought was a big gamble. Very vulnerable of you. And what are the stats saying on the internet? Most people say in their 20s. So I'll take that. Absolutely take that. Ben and me thought we were going to spend a week and a half just mocking you.

It's really backfired. I really want to exit out of this. Cutting you down to size. Be like, you think you look young, you're just an old lady, but that's not what's happening. Yeah, we'll do this whole thing about who looks the youngest. Well, clearly you. Why are we even carrying on with this? I don't know why you did this because I am also just the youngest by number.

It doesn't mean that. You look at some of the celebrities compared to everyday folk. Tom Cruise. How old is he? Take a look at Buddy Swim and Barnett, mate. Yeah. celebrities compared to everyday folk, you know. Tom Cruise. You know, he's, yeah, he does not like his age. Take a look at bloody Simon Barnett, mate. Yeah. 20 years old. I'd pick him as a 20 year old. Tom Cruise is 62. 62? Yeah, you know, so there you go.

He's hanging off planes. Someone's actually just texted, my friend's, my husband's friend who runs with him and he doesn't know me, thought I was my husband's daughter. There's only five years between us. That's a pretty confronting scene to walk into when he sees your husband kissing you. I got a comment on a social media video I'd done with the kids a while back.

And I guess they'd gone to another country or something that someone didn't know. And they went, is he the brother? And I was like, ooh. No one said that. Brother, father, or just some weird? And I was like, ooh. No one said that. Brother, father, or just some weirdo. I was like, oh, you could have stopped at the brother. I'll look at a C, thank you. Yeah, two out of the three.

Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The heads. The Pope is younger. Pope Leo. Some of the other popes. And speaking of young, looking younger uh megan you're getting a lot of compliments at the moment right well you started this i know but i've just come along for

the ride and it's backfired it has backfired i'm gonna tap out of it on the record i'd like to tap out of it a makeup artist said in a photo that i looked 19 and you guys were like yeah and if you've been id'd since you've been complimented by people from Netflix shows, all sorts. So I'm like, nah, you're the youngest. Well done. You win this. End of project. End of campaign.

Not how we brainstormed it. This will be a week of workplace bullying. But you think it makes me feel worse about myself. Or we can flip it now. How old do the other two look? Two dads and their teenage daughter Alright let's go to the phones We're talking about have you been mis-aged

In Blenheim this morning What's the weather like there Laura? Far from sunny here We've got some light rain at the moment 18 degrees according to my car Bloody great weather report You've just given us there on the spot, Laura. You're welcome.

Save you from your nine o'clock one. So I wasn't mis-aged, but I posted on my socials about my 29th birthday out for dinner with my faves. My auntie commented saying how nice it was to go out with my friends. She was referring to my seven-year-old stepdaughter as being one of my 30-year-old friends. So I don't know how you take that as a seven-year-old, but... I get it, though, because a couple of friends have babies and I really lose the...

My grasp on how old a baby is has just disappeared. As soon as you get through that stage of parenting, I'm like, how old are you? You must be bloody seven or eight years old. Only six months. That happened. Not that bad, not that drastically, but I can see from Yarny's point of view,

all the ages blur into one, but seven to 30 is a bit of a gap. It's a bit of a jump, yeah. So your seven-year-old could literally go and buy alcohol, get a mortgage. She should have. She should be paying the tab for dinner. You're going to have a great day, Laura.

Appreciate it. She's so worried. We've got Tess on 0800 The Hits. You've been mis-aged. I have been, to my benefit, thank goodness. Okay, what happened, Tess? Set the scene. My husband's a project manager, and one of the contractors said to him the other day,

oh, your daughter's been in and brought you lunch. Oh. And he was talking about me. He was talking about the Testmeister. And it must make you feel like a million bucks, Tess. Oh, it's fabulous, obviously. Your daughter's come in and bought you lunch. That's a great one.

Yeah. I love that. How did your husband respond to that? I don't think I can say. Probably wasn't quite what he wanted. Yeah, you're right. But better for you, isn't it? Now, what is the actual age difference between the pair of you?

Is it much? To be fair, it's nine years. That's not. I would put you in a daughter category. No, it doesn't quite, but it does put a bit of discrepancy, doesn't it? Well, good on you, Tess. Really do appreciate your call. Thank you very much. Have a great day in Ngarawahia.

Awesome. Thank you. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. Mother's Day on Sunday, which great, great's coming up. Megan, you've had a few, which, yeah, great, great. It's coming up. Megan, you've had a few dilemmas in your household, though. Well, we have because my husband is working all day on Sunday.

Initially, I agreed to, like, I was like, yeah, go do the job for a few hours. So he agrees to it and tells me afterwards that he'll be gone the whole day. Yeah, that's not any job, though. The man is singing the Australian national anthem at the Tall Blacks Boomers Basketball in Hamilton. This is a prestigious gig. It's the Australian National Anthem, though, isn't it? I said to Megan yesterday, why don't you just show up when the anthem starts,

drop the kids off, just go, here you go, and then just leave. And he's got to do the anthem while holding two kids. Oh, you mean walk onto the court? Yeah, just go, make a big play like that, public display. It's Mother's Day! And then walk off, and then he's got to do the court. And just go, hey, make a big play like that. Make a scene, yeah. Public display. It's Mother's Day! And then walk off and then he's got to do the anthem. And drive back to your house. This is my second marriage and I don't think I'm ready for it to end just yet.

But if it was going to end, it should end like that. In a blaze of glory. On television. But you were, you know, you're saying you were a bit upset with this and I get it, you know. You're saying he's not going to be there. But then two hours ago on the show, we're talking about Abe's bagels. If I got bagels in bed for breakfast, that's just ideal. It's all I want.

You eat dinner in bed sometimes. Here we go. Here we go. That's all you want. Hang on, just keep that. Keep that for later. Keep that for later. So that audio we did.

Now it's now. That's all you want. That's all you want. It is all I want. So if he does that, then go to the basketball. No, but he's already said, my mind will be elsewhere. So he's leaving at 10, but he can't commit to anything on that day. He can biff some bagels in the toaster.

That could be an 8 a.m. job. And then get on the way to Hamilton. Will you tell him that then? Okay, we will. We'll pass it on. Andrew, listen, at the very least, you can put bagels in the toaster. Biff some bagels in the toaster. Bagels in a toaster. And then you will be satisfied.

It has to be in bed. Or were you just saying that to satisfy the client? No, you have to get them to be in bed, and the kids have to be out of my hair. Okay. At least for an hour. So your kid's a bit younger, and my kids are getting to the age now where they take care of a lot of that stuff. Yeah.

Because now, you know, for my wife, Amanda. My wife. My wife. Amazing how many times you say it, because every time you say it, you guys do the Borat impersonation. But then when it came to Mother's Day, they were like, well, they came to me

and they were like, oh, we can't really think of what we should get her. Do you have any ideas? And I'm a little gun-shy with presents these days after the frying pan incident, where I thought I'd listened. 2019 frying pan incident. She wanted this particular frying pan.

I got it for her for her birthday And turns out You should never do that And I've learnt that lesson Then he got her an apron On International Women's Day No I didn't But do you know what I asked her

I said Do you have any hints And do you know what she said She said I'd like one of those I've always wanted one of those Little robot vacuum cleaners And I'm like

This is a trap Firstly they're quite expensive But secondly We're not getting you a vacuum cleaner On Mother's Day That seems like you're falling into that same trap. But that gives you another

12 months of radio fodder. That's true, actually. Yeah, but then the kids were like, hey, we've heard mum talk about wanting to get a replacement for a coffee machine. So I was like, well, maybe we could do that.

And then they're coming to me to bankroll this thing. But then I'm like, is that more a present for both of us than her, Megan? Because this is my dilemma. I feel like I'll buy it and she'll go, oh, great, lovely. But a present for the household is not.

What's the done deal? Because you're like, cool, but you haven't thought so much about me specifically. For me, I love a present for the household. Ticks and blocks, you know, towels, pots, whatever it is. Great. You give it to her. But for Amanda, and I get it for some people, that might not be right. Yeah. And I would probably, even though she did list it, stare. You give it to her. But for Amanda, and I get it for some people, that might not be right. Yeah.

And I would probably, even though she did list it, stare away from the robot vacuum cleaner. Okay. Why don't you get Andrew over to put some bagels on the toaster? I ate a couple of bagels. He can whip past my house on the way to the bathroom. He does it all the time. His mind will be elsewhere, John.

I don't want his half-hearted bagels. It's not even the New Zealand National Anthem. I mean, I don't want some half-hearted bagels. It's not even the New Zealand national anthem. I mean, I don't mean to go on about it, but. He can serenade you and Amanda with Advance Australia Fair. All right, we've got Mother's Day sorted here. Happy Mother's Day, as we said before, to all the bums. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast.

The hits. New Pope. There's a new Pope. It's happened pretty quickly, right? Pope Leo. Yeah, who's it from? The 14th. Originally from the first American Pope.

So I didn't realise they changed their names. Yeah. Like that's a common thing. So his name's Robert and he's from America, but they're calling him Pope Leo. Why do they give him like a stage name, do they? Yeah. They get to choose it. I guess it's kind of like the royals and stuff like that.

Maybe there's a certain number of names. I smart play from the Americans because that means, or sorry, the Catholic Church, because that means the American, he won't have to pay tariffs on the Pope. If it was from another country, there'd be a lot of tariffs when it comes to America. Has the Vatican City got tariffs? Yeah, I know. 780% tariffs on international Popes. So they chose an American one, no tariffs.

But he speaks Italian, so he's not getting up there and being like, it is a great day. How come they all look like sort of cousins? Every single Pope looks like you could be related to the other Pope. Old white men. Bald and grey white men. Yeah. If you line them all up. Hey, you wanted to know what you were going to do after radio.

Hey, I am destined for glory in about 30 years. You're a Catholic. Balding. White man. Chuck some robes on me. I've got enough scand a Catholic, balding, white man. Chuck some robes on me, I've got enough scandals away, hidden away in the closet.

Start learning Italian. Now, something happened to me over the weekend. I mentioned this before, my wife and I were like, on the Friday night, we're like, hey, let's stop spending money when we can,

out and about on food, let's try and eat at home because you go to the supermarket. And my daughter convinced me after netball to go buy Asahi bowls with her. And I was like, oh, it'll be our little secret. Turned up there.

Don't tell mum. Yeah, don't tell mum. Don't tell mum. Don't tell mum we're getting healthy bowls of Asahi. Please. It's our dark secret. Turned up there. And who should walk in through the door?

Well, my wife. And to my wife. My wife. You can't say that now without doing the Borat impersonation. Well, we did for many years. For some reason, we brought it back. For some reason, it's funny again. They came through.

Exactly the same idea. It was going to be their little secret. So we wanted to know this morning, have you been caught cheating? You were cheating on each other. Yeah, in a food sense. A much more comical one for a Friday. And Producer Matt, we're calling you Producer Matt this week. You're normally our boss, Matt, but you're producing for us.

Yeah, I'll put on the different hat. I like telling you what to do for once. Monday, mate. The girls will do this again. It's a roller coaster. So your friend had this happen. My friend and his fiancée were on a diet together. They were going really well,

except for the fact that he was getting Maccas most afternoons on the way home from work and was going full cover up. He had air freshener in the car. Sorry. It's got a distinctive odor, doesn't it, McDonald's? It stains the car, yeah. It's beautiful how it hangs around,

but he didn't obviously want that evidence. So he was also then spraying that in the car and then he would pull up next to, like a little bit ahead of their house so that he could then put the bin, the rubbish, in his neighbour's recycling bin and it all worked well until the neighbour caught him, they had an argument about it, the fiancé

heard it and he'd filled half his bin with Macca's stuff. Jesus, how much McDonald's is the guy eating? Were they doing like waves or anything? She's like, why aren't you losing any weight? I've got no idea babe, I'm only eating six almonds for breakfast. Just all the shame and guilt associated in that car of just going through the drive-thru.

And you get home. Imagine it's the same sort of everything associated with an affair where you get home and it's like, can I smell those 11 secret herbs and spices on you? Is there Big Mac sauce on your collar? Have you cheated on a food diet from your partner? No. Well, I'm trying to eat healthy at the moment,

but then I went to a movie the other night and I got home and I was like, I had a water, not a Coke. I was so good. And Andrew was like, did you have popcorn? And I was like, what is this? Yes, I had popcorn. He made me feel so bad about it. I had a little popcorn.

You could smell it on you. Yeah. I had the kernels in my teeth. All on you. Yeah. You can smell the popcorn. I had the kernels in my teeth. All right. So we want to know this morning examples of when you've been caught cheating or maybe you caught someone else cheating when it comes to food. Have you been busted?

Smiting the choccy. Usually when you're doing a couple's diet, so it's stipulated, we're dieting at home. That's at home. John O'Benn and Megan. The podcast. The hits. We're talking about when you got busted, cheating on your food diet,

or maybe just busted with food that you shouldn't have been eating, right? I want to know about this cheesecake story. I was meant to bring a cheesecake home from work for a celebration, but I had the cheesecake in the fridge at work, and then the traffic for some reason was an absolute nightmare in the afternoon. It was going to take like an hour or so to get home and the cheesecake was disintegrating

very quickly. So I had a little nibble and I had a little bit more of a nibble while I'm sitting on the southern and I had a little bit more of a nibble. Then you get to the point where you're like, well now it looks like I've had too much of the cheesecake. I'm just going to have to keep eating the cheesecake to get rid of it. Because no one wants like, what have you done to this half-eaten cheesecake? No one wants that turning much of the cheesecake. I'm just going to have to keep eating the cheesecake to get rid of it.

Because no one wants like, what have you done to this half-eaten cheesecake? No one wants that turning up on the table. Sometimes when you're bringing back fast food to the house, it's very hard if you take one or two chips. No, it's Chippy Tacks. But then sometimes it's very hard not to eat a whole lot of the chips. If you've got multiple packs, you've got to just dimple out of all of them. You shake the bag and then you're like, whatever's in the bag is Chippy Tacks.

That's why I like the fish and chip shop. You don't know. So you can make that little hole in the package and just pull them out one by one. So food, cheating. Have you been caught any? I just get checked on for whether I've had sugar because my partner's a dentist.

Oh, jeez. So is it a bit of an open your mouth situation they can have a look around? Usually it's just whether I've had something sweet with my coffee. How can they tell? Oh, he can't tell.

He just asks. Can he tell if you're lying? Oh, I can't lie. That's your weakness. Let's talk about flossing. Are you flossing every morning, every night? And is he?

Every night, not in the morning. Every night? I hate it when you go to the dentist and they're like, have you been flossing? You're like, yeah. And they're like, no, you haven't, I can tell. So much. So much.

Every day. Particularly in the car ride on the way over here. That guy we spoke to have flossed with his hair. Oh, yeah, that's right. He'd pull out long strands of hair and floss with his hair. How would your husband feel about that? It doesn't work. It doesn't work?

Well, this guy's easy. He's a swapper. No, he said, does it? Does it work? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, he'd saved at least tens of cents on floss over the years. Yeah. Yeah.

I was going to be like, whatever works. Good on you, Annie. Well, you and your secret sweet treats. Have a good day. Thanks. See you, mate. Tash, how are you? Good, thanks.

How are you? Yeah, food cheating. You been caught? Yeah, I did. Oh, I must have been about 14 or so, and I signed up for the 20-hour famine. Oh, because you could do... That you do back in those days.

Yeah, you could do the half, yeah. What, you didn't have to do the full 40? Well, I think you were younger, yeah. Oh, yeah, true. I think you were younger. Yeah. Yeah, a bit tough to go for 40 hours. Tell that to the kids in Ethiopia, mate.

I know, that's why I feel so guilty. But, yeah, no, I started so guilty. But yeah, no, I started off great, but then you get hungry around nine o'clock and I thought everybody was asleep, so I snuck into the kitchen and thought I had quietly opened the kitchen door, but you know what mothers are like

with their sort of radar-like hearing. So yeah, she hit the fridge door open and caught me eating luncheons and eating cheese. Straight hit the fridge door open And caught me eating luncheons Oh, luncheons Straight from the fridge You hadn't eaten anything and you went for luncheons Well, I thought that Yeah, no, I thought that was the least

Conspicuous thing that she would see that was missing Yeah, luncheon, that's a classic food Isn't it? Now, to be fair to you though Tash, we were all cheating on the 40-hour famine What was it? All eating herds's barley sugars. No, you were allowed to do that. I know you were allowed to do that.

You're not doing that over there, are they? Jacked up on Herd's barley sugars. Yeah, I wasn't very satisfying to barley sugars. I just didn't feel that gap that luncheon would do. Now the old famine, all you need to do is they're like, oh, what are you going to give up for a couple of hours? And the kids are like, oh, I'm not going to go on my iPad for a couple of hours. Yeah, there's different ways you can do it, right?

Yeah. Oh, isn't there? Okay. Yeah, you can do that now. It wasn't like that back in the day. No, not back in the day, Tash. You could sneak lunch in at midnight. Hey, Tash, thanks so much for sharing with us.

Yeah, you just had to play Roblox for 10 minutes. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. Seen this being debated around social media. Who would win, a gorilla or 100 men in a fight? It seems to be going worldwide, a big debate on social media. We spoke about it last week, didn't we?

And they've actually employed a gorilla expert to weigh in. Male gorillas are the largest primate on the planet. They're weighing in at about 400 pounds. They have incredible upper body strength, very good jaw strength but there's just one of them right so then they're they're going up against 100 humans who all they're physically smaller i think just the sheer number and the ability to tag team to coordinate to have different strategies to have one group distract while another group attacks is just going to put it in favor of the of the humans.

I love this. I love that we're putting so much energy into this topic. There's moments in the year where you're like, yeah, good, this is where our energy should be spent. And someone has actually compiled a list of 100 New Zealanders to take on the gorilla, a list that Ben, you and myself have made. Yeah, 49 and 50 on the list.

I don't know how comfortable I am being on this list. And he joins us right now. Taumana, good morning. Good morning. How are you guys? We're doing all right. Nice to talk to you. Now, you've taken the social media debate to another level, right?

The 100 men fighting a gorilla. You've brought it closer to home. I did, yes. It was a slow day at Mahi. I was going to say, you did a handwritten list as well. How sore was the hand after that little session? Yeah, I'm not used to writing that amount of words anymore. So, man, it was a bit painful.

How long did it actually take you to make the list? I had some help from my brothers to come up with some of the Kiwi legends to join the fight, but not too long, not too long. So it's gone viral. You made a list of 100 Kiwi men to hypothetically fight this gorilla, as everyone's debating on social media. But now because of your list, everyone's debating your list, going, oh, you forgot this person, you forgot this person.

I mean, who are some of the people you're like, oh, yeah, should have thought of them? Oh, definitely through the comments. The comments let me know that I forgot Israel Adesanya, which would definitely be someone to go on the front line. Yeah, one of our best, probably the best fighter in the country, right? Talk us through your tactics. You've got this first wave, so they're the strong,

the people that can fight, right? Yes, Stephen Adams, David Tua. Joseph Parker. Jonah Longu as well, rest in peace. Nice. Might attend Mega Guy, Big Guy, you know, as well. So you've got some great people up front. Can I just say about the first wave, fantastic New Zealanders rest in peace. Might a 10-mega guy, big guy, you know, as well. So you've got some great people up front.

Can I just say about the first wave, fantastic New Zealanders and all worthy of being on the list. But the order of the waves, like surely our plan could be exhaust the griller with just the weak ones. Like put us on the front line, the grillers,

like I'm wasting a bit of energy, a bit of cardio on getting rid of these guys. Then you save the strong ones to really take over at the end. Yeah, I think the tactics went out the window a little bit. I think we definitely probably should have started with some sort of bait and maybe sent out some of the more comedic relief people first.

Because, look, I'm normally honoured to be part of a list, and in some ways I'm honoured that we made 49 and 50 on your list, Jono and Ben, but at the same time I'm like, I'd be no good. I would just be no good. Ben said he would like to come in at the same time, I'm like, I'd be no good. I would just be no good. Ben said he would like to come in in the last wave, number 100, so he could celebrate victory and be like, yeah, don't have to do anything.

Guy Williams at the moment, our friend Guy Williams, he's got that 100 spot. Yeah, I am putting Guy third up the list. Maybe you can get in contact with Guy and we can do a little bit of a swap and get you guys changed positions. Yeah, you do. But there would be so much guilt associated with being number 100

and walking over all the dead people ahead of you, in front of you. And what's your speech? Okay, Ben, you're number 100 in this fight. Everyone else is laying on the ground, covered in blood. But they've thrown their everything at the Griller. The Griller's like, I've had enough. I'm out. So the Griller's done.

Just you were there. And what are you saying? Well, we did it, guys. We did it. High fives. Yeah, high fives, refreshments. I've got some Gatorade or Powerade, whatever you want. I'm good to go.

We did it, guys. Yeah. I'll be all part of the team. Remember the team of five million, guys? Yeah. So apart from Israel, is there anyone else that you regret leaving off the list there? I saw a really funny comment from someone saying that I left off the Nick Minit guy, Levi Hawkins.

So maybe he's someone that could have brought some mana to the group. Yeah. Griller was alive. Nick Minit. You probably want him as he's just laying on the ground. It's a great list. It really is a who's who of New Zealand. I mean, Richie McCaw, Willie Apiata's in there.

He'd be great as well. Oh, yeah. There's so many great New Zealanders. Did you think it was going to blow up like this when you did it? I mean, obviously, you're doing it for a bit of fun.

Did you think it was going to blow up? Oh, no, I had no idea. I kind of just sat there, put together some names, not really expecting anything. I actually thought it was pretty dumb.

And then when people started liking it, commenting, I started thinking, jeez. And you're like, jeez, the internet is dumb. Where to from here? What's the next list?

I've been sorting out a few individuals to come together, maybe as a full coaching staff, and we can put together maybe our second squad. Or 100 women, what can we take on? Oh, yeah, true. 100%. Easy, actually. Megan, you'd be far better. If you want on? Oh, yeah, true. Yeah, they're probably easy, actually. Megan, you'd be far better. If you want to tap in for me, Megan.

Maybe you can take on equal pay, mate. I'm still working on it. Yeah, when you keep fighting that good fight, you women. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The head. We have a monthly meeting. And it went for like an hour, which is unusual for our staff meetings.

That's a long time to concentrate on who's been parking in the client car parks, isn't it? Had a couple of speakers from around the building explaining about other stuff, so that's probably why. They were really interesting, but yeah, it's probably why it's... Just before bed,

we probably could have had just one. One and then the one another day. But they were both very interesting. Yeah, I'm not saying they weren't interesting. I just say two in a row back to back. Two is a lot. Yeah. But then when you one another day. But they were both very interesting. Yeah, I'm not saying they weren't interesting. I just say two in a row back to back. Two is a lot. Yeah. But then when you say another day,

it's like a month in between meetings. Yeah, so it probably is a while. So then that information is dead in the water, isn't it? Well, luckily I didn't have to be in the room. Well, yeah, Ben and I were present physically. Jono, like, because we Zoom in, people Zoom in from around the country. So Jono Zoomed in and, you know,

like camera off, we're like, we know what's happening. He's like, I'm on my way to the dentist. We're like, well, that's a point. He's checked out. But at least he's popped up as part of it. I did listen to Sarah. I heard the first speaker. She was interesting.

She said some good stuff. What stuff did you like? No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I probably can't talk about it, can I? No, you can't. Yeah, good. Controversial stuff.

That's a good out. Yeah, it's all very secretive business stuff. But during the meeting later on, Jono popped up and we could hear a conversation. And we're like, oh, Jono's got a question because people can pop up with questions. And it pops up on the screen, Jono is talking. Oh, really? It does. It comes up, Jono's like, oh, what's Jono got to say?

And I'm not muted my microphone. No, you'd managed to turn the camera off, but you hadn't muted yourself. You've obviously unmuted yourself at some stage. Oh, because my phone's in my pocket. And then you're having a conversation, well, we can only imagine with the dentist. Yeah, the hygienist. And then you're back, well, Jono's got a question. No, he's having a conversation.

Then our boss went, well, he's clearly not listening. We'll hang up on him. So she can get rid of me. Otherwise, you're like, well well otherwise you've just got to have your noise coming through at the meeting just hear me getting my teeth we'll stop to hear

your small talk with the dentist hear me getting scale and polished oh that's so interesting it's very on brim yeah no it is

I mean you wouldn't expect any less Jono did I miss much on that one well yeah I can't really talk about it on air

but anyway we'll get to that. You'll get the minutes. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, great stuff. Well, listen, Zoom's really changed the game, hasn't it, on that front? Yeah. As long as you mute yourself.

Yeah, that's a good life lesson. Could have been worse. A lot of people have had issues with, you know, camera stuff, so. That's true. At least we only heard you. Look, I was trying to multitask a dental appointment, but then you said Matty McLean, who was also Zooming in, was on a six-kilometer run.

Yeah, he was running because he popped up for a question, like an actual, he intended to pop up for a question, although flex, bit of a flex, he was running. Bit of a flex. Everyone's like, oh, you're going for a run. It's like, aw. Was he running and asking a question? He stopped.

He stopped. Yeah, he was running. He asked the question. And then later we got to the end. We were like, oh, what if Matty's still running? And then he was like, hey, I've got home. Ran 6Ks just that whole time. Another flex.

In the space of that meeting. He was like, it is a long meeting because I've run 6Ks and I'm back home again. Wowee. Pretty impressive. It is a long house meeting. But multitasking as well. That's a good way of doing it.

That is the ultimate multitask. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. The hits. The algorithm. We like to delve into our algorithms on the odd occasion

and it's what's being fed to us on social media and in particular Instagram. I really feel like my algorithm's starting to become a cry for help, really. It's just a lot of kids

falling off furniture. A lot of dogs dressed as things that dogs shouldn't be dressed as. I get a lot of creepy AI videos. I sent you that one the other day.

Do you watch kids falling into animal zoos and stuff and it was all AI? Yeah. Like into a lion's den and stuff. And I got a human

warping into a mermaid underwater at an aquarium. Yeah. I got a Formula 1 thing yesterday that I sent on to you so I'm blaming you for that because I'm not normally in the Formula 1 world. It got a Formula One thing yesterday that I sent on to you so that must be, I'm blaming you for that

because I'm not normally in the Formula One world. It's a great Formula One meme. It was. What was the meme again? It was about the Pope and it was like, they'll announce it.

They made the Pope into a safety car. Yeah, behind the safety cardinal was the race will start after the cardinal. Yeah, they had one in a green robe

and the rest were in other robes. I was like, this is quite nice. Megan will appreciate that. I did. I was like, oh, this is quite nice. We're going to appreciate that. I did. And I got fed this. This is from, well, it seems like one of those court TV shows that they have in America, you know,

where people take their small claims to there. And this is an April Fool's prank gone wrong on a radio station where they said basically if you get the radio station's name tattooed on your forehead, you win quarter of a million dollars. So this guy said we should put the image up on our Hitspring for social media. He's got K-Rud tattooed across his forehead. Yes, Your Honour. They were running a contest where the first listener to tattoo the letters K-R-U-D on their forehead

would win a $250,000 prize. Dash down to the radio station. They started pointing at me and laughing at me. Who does that, Your Honor? They took out their phones and started taking pictures of me. I could have never imagined in a million years somebody would have actually tattooed our station letters to their forehead. $250,000 is a lot of money. There are a lot of folks that would do that, right?

Seriously. And I find against the defendants, and in your favor, I'm going to award a $510,000. So, what paid out? Said he was doing it to save his parents' house? I think it's fake, that story. No, I think,

because I got served the same thing. It's fake? And they're fake, yeah. And it's like, I think it's based on another Corb story where a guy got Corb radio station but yeah that is so if you're yeah because i was like oh man i got fed the same thing on my algorithm uh but i had a look in there is it a joke i think yeah you've played many years of those you've done those where's the punchline well i guess it was yeah i don't know the judge is like this is terrible you get five hundred thousand dollars

i think they've made it for a tv show like they've made it for a TV show. They made it for a fake to get out and about. I think. To be honest, when I saw it. It looks temporary. He got huge. Crud. I was like, they didn't put any detail on what font you could use. Why don't you just go like skinny lettering and do it smaller?

He did the whole forehead. The reason I believe that is because I used to work at The Rock. And a guy got The Rock tattooed across his chin. His chin. His chin. Guy Nelson. work at The Rock and a guy got The Rock tattooed across his chin. His chin? His chin. Guy Nelson. Really? The Rock, yeah.

I don't even want to be part of a promotion. Maybe he was planning on growing a beard. He just did it. He was just loyal. Loyal to the brand. I hope he still listens to the brand. I hope he isn't flipped over to a hit. To be honest, looking at him,

he didn't look like a hits guy. Don't think there's any risk of them losing him to the hits. Radio stations love a tattoo though, don't they? What's been the worst radio station prank you've been a part of? On ourselves or other ones? Just in general When you've been

I had knives thrown at me one time I really believe that knives were being thrown at me They were not Were you blindfolded? I was blindfolded and had Mike McRoberts bulletproof vest on. Mike's actual vest on? Yeah. Yeah, that he loaned to me.

That doesn't save your face though, does it? No. Or my neck. Who was throwing the knives? Dom Harvey's mum. She had a knife for her? No, but I believed she was. Yeah, so right.

So when they were just sticking it into a board behind you, were they? Yes. There's a lot of pieces to this puzzle. You've got Mike McRoberts' flag vest. You've got Dom Harvey's mum throwing knives. It's radio. It's radio.

Don't ask too many questions. Does that trauma live on inside you? It does. Well, guess what? Happening after seven this morning. Knife drive. It's my mum. My mum's in here.

Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. New Zealand Herald Daily Quiz. We do it every day at this time. We're not allowed to look at it. You can get it online at the New Zealand Herald. Producer Grace has a look at it.

And we go one by one to see if we can get 10 out of 10. If we get one wrong, we stop. Unfortunately, there's no sheep questions today. I just want to put that forward. So that's a win for us. It's been a sheep-heavy week. Feels like the AI has really gone, geez, these New Zealanders love questions about sheep.

And we didn't. We got them all wrong, to be honest. So, Grace, wish us luck. Okay, question number one. Or don't wish us luck. Well, good luck with question number one. What is the hottest layer of the sun? Core, radiation zone, corona.

The corona. Oh, radiation zone, corona. The corona. Oh, jeez. The core, the radiation zone, or the corona. The radiation zone sounds pretty spicy. It does sound spicy, but I've never heard that before. Not saying it's not a real thing, but yeah. Think logically, guys. The core is always what?

The hottest in the middle of the earth is the core, isn't it? So you'd have to say the core. Megan, you're very quiet. I was just going to tap out of this one. The core. You're going to leave us to... It seems like it makes sense. Okay, all right.

Yeah. Core is correct. Grace is like, can I give any other hints? Go with the core. Question number two. Okay, what is the term for an animal having more than the normal amount of fingers or toes? Polydactyl, multidactyl, hammertoad. Multidactyl.

Polydactyl. See, it's polydactyl, multidactyl, or hammertoad. Hammertoad. What does poly usually mean? Well, polyamorous relationship. Multiple. That's multiple. Polydactyl.

The first one's multiple as well too, right? Yeah, but poly seems like something that they would have named years ago. Polydactyl. Yeah, let's do that. Polydactyl is correct. Nice. Well done. Phong Nha National Park in Vietnam is home to the world's largest what?

Cave? Pinnacle formation? Lagoon? Okay. You got me now. Is this our lifeline? Are we going to use our lifeline? Yeah, I think so. We've guessed our way through the first two questions.

Please, text 4487. Lagoon sounds nice. The world's biggest lagoon. Yeah. It does sound nice. But hey, it sounds nice, Grace, but that's not our answer. 4487 on the text to help us out this morning. Jono, Ben and Megan.

The podcast. The hits. On Herald Daily Quiz, we're up to question three. This is our lifeline. We're using our lifeline. We can only use it once. And it's to do with the biggest thing in Vietnam. Yeah, Phong Nha National Park in Vietnam is home to the world's largest what?

Is it a cave, pinnacle formation, or a lagoon? Now, we've had someone text through cave. I reckon cave, surely. You reckon it's cave? That is correct. Oh, thank you to whoever that person was. We appreciate your time. 99 million people in Vietnam.

Oh, really? It's a busy cave. 45 million motorbikes. Can I Google it? I can Google now about the cave. Yeah, you're free to Google. Yeah, and 9 caves long, the Yeah, a 9km long cave. That's a long cave.

Mandy McLean could almost run the distance during a meeting. She'd just woken up this morning. Mandy McLean ran 6km during the staff meeting on Zoom. Very impressive feat. Okay, question number four. What is the Dutch beer Amstel named after? A river, a canal, a windmill. Amstel.

A-M-S-T-E-L. Amstel lighters. I've seen that everywhere. It must be that. River. I would say river. Is that what you do with Amsterdam, you know, what would that be named after?

A canal. There's not a river in a canal. Because, yeah, that's full of canals is there an we're locking in a canal so a river a canal or a windmill well they've got a lot of windmills in in there and they've got a lot of canals so but a lot of canals in the city so should we do that canal yeah let's look at that is incorrect It was a river River canal What's the difference between a river and a canal Obviously lots

What is the difference You guys would have gotten the next questions What's the longest river in the world Amazon That's awkward Wait This next question Don't give us questions again This next question is from... Mate, don't give us questions again.

No, go again. I don't want to hear the next one. This next question was the one from yesterday's quiz. It's the United States comprises how many states? Yeah, 50. Oh, it's come back again. Okay, so here you go. Here's something to remember.

A river is natural, whereas canal is man-made. There's a huge difference. Semantics, Your Honour. Yeah, yeah. Huge difference. Well, thank you so much, Grace, for that humbling experience.