Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL SHOW: Why Megan Faked An Asthma Attack!

Episode Date: May 1, 2025

ON THE SHOW TODAY: I drove into a ditch to get out of work! You need to fart in front of your partner! Ben stressed alteration mishap Gen Z analyses our star signs... Facebook: The Hits Breakfast with Jono, Ben & Megan Instagram: THEHITSBREAKFAST  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Jono, Ben and Megan podcast, thanks to Dilma. Goodness really does taste great. Dilma, making the world a better tea. Welcome to the podcast. Today on a Friday, the weather's been pretty rough, but hopefully getting a little better around the country. But we've been talking about good excuses for getting out of things after Megan faked an asthma attack, which you'll hear very shortly on the podcast.

Can we just get a little taste of... I think I over pushed it a little too far. Just need to dial it back a bit. Stacey, actually, we didn't get to you on air, but you sent a great text in. The length you went to get out of something. What was it, Stacey? Well, I was about 18, and I was living in a flat

with, I think, five other people. And they all had the day off, and they decided that they were going to get a keg of beer and day drinks. I was like, I want part of this. So I phoned my boss and faked that I had a toothache. Yep. And then spent the day day drinking and then felt guilty. So booked an appointment for the dentist a couple of days later, which got me more time off work.

But then the dentist said, you actually need three of your wisdom teeth pulled out. Oh, damn it. Feels like karma, doesn't it? Yeah, it kind of backfired a little bit. But then I got more time off work because I had to, yeah. And you had the day drinking? There's something at the end of the day. You had a huge win, big win.

I love how the guilt's just really got to you. I know. I really liked my boss, so I kind of felt bad lie to her. Oh, there we go. Well, that's what happens when you lie to your boss. You end up getting wisdom teeth ripped out. Yeah, but I got a day drinking with my friends, and I got lots of time off work.

Let's not forget the day drinking. That's right. Good on you, Stacey. Have a good one. Oh, good. Thank you. We've got more excuses coming up for you right now on the podcast. Jono, Ben and Megan.

The podcast. The hits. And I know it's cross-country season's kicking into gear now. You're right. They could have done it. Yeah, why don't they do it in summer? Yeah. Yeah.

The ground's not soggy. This way it's boggy and muddy. Like less of a chance of rain. Treacherous. And Poppy, my daughter, just even since primary school, like the first cross-country she ever did, she's like, this is just not me. I hate cross-country.

There are those students where cross country is the burden of their... There's no middle ground, though. I reckon there's kids that excel at it and love it, and then there's those that are just like, not for me. I don't want to do it. It's just the worst. Yeah. And so she had her cross country yesterday, the day before.

She's like, oh, I'm feeling crock. That all started coming out. And then the bribery started to happen bribery and corruption from uh from jen uh her parents and me and um she was like i really want this bag like a duffel gym bag right for dancing she's like if i finish the cross country do do I get this bag? And I'm thinking. I'm so proud of you. Yeah, it was a good play. But then I was like, yeah, okay, well, if I'm going to get you a bloody duffel bag,

I want you running the whole time. I don't want any. Yeah, that's fair enough. Lay some conditions down. I'll be like top five. Top five. Oh, God. You want that bag?

Yeah. That's bag worthy? Yeah, that's all right. Add some jeopardy? Yeah. You want that bag? Yeah. That's bag-worthy. Yeah, that's right. Add some jeopardy. Yeah. You want the bag, don't you? Yeah. And then she was like, well, you're not going to know if I don't run.

I'm like, damn it, you're right. I'm not going to know if you don't run. There was a lot of hills. Smart. Anyway, so it turns out she ran the whole way. Oh, yeah, yeah. Good to get in the bag. So well played.

Well played. But, like, why did she need to, you know? Do the cross-country. Yeah. Because they make all the kids do it. It're like, why did she need to? You know? Do the cross country. Yeah. They make all the kids do it. It's like, get out there. Your kids are all bloody sitting on your devices. Get outside.

Enjoy the nature and the world. Yeah, but they do other sports. They make you run around the whole neighbourhood, and it's like, how long is it? You can tell I was not a fan. Yeah, but it's not like they don't do it every week, right? Yeah. I love driving past and just seeing red-hot, sweaty kids puffing and panting.

Were you one of those? They're like hunched over. Yes. But I didn't get bribed by my parents. They never did the bribery thing, sadly. But I, one year, decided I was going to have an asthma attack because I have asthma. So partway through, I was like. So you had started the race?

Yeah. Or did you fake it? Yeah, I faked it Faked an asthma attack You get to commit to that role Don't you? You do For a long time

So I was like And so they took me To the sick bay And the whole time I'm like So you have asthma Firstly you have asthma I do

That's an advantage Was this mid race Or before race? No I'm like very quickly Into the race Just 100 metres in I didn't run too far And then every time The nurse went out To call my mum I'm like very quickly into the race. Just 100 metres in. I didn't run too far.

And then every time the nurse went out to call my mum, I'm like, oh, thank God. But my mum came to the school. And of course, I've had asthma my whole life. She knows what an asthma attack looks like. And so she says, takes one look at me, looks at the staff and says, next time she has an asthma attack,

just call the ambulance straight away and get them to take her to hospital. Then she just looks at me. And I was like, okay. So was it a silent car ride home or were you still going, ooh? No, I was not. You dropped the act now.

I dropped the act. That was her way of saying, don't you ever do that again. Oh, that is, okay. Let's open this, shall we? The lengths you've gone to to get out of something. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. About the you've gone to to get out of something. John O'Bannon Megan. The podcast.

The hits. About the lengths you've gone to get out of something. Megan faked an asthma attack to get out of cross-country. By droves, my mum told me off. Yeah, right. Called me out in front of everyone. Cross-country is a legal form of child abuse disguised as physical education. It is.

That and the beat test. Oh, the beat test. Remember the beat test. Oh, the beat test. Oh, that was a bad day. Child abuse. Yeah, that was a terrible day. Now, a guy I used to work with, hilarious story.

He wanted to get out of something at school. I can't even remember what it was, but he went to his mum. He's like, oh, I've got something wrong. My head really hurts. My head. Because he figured that your head, hard to quantify what's going on in there.

You know? It's not a broken bone or anything. She's like, oh, no. So she panics, takes him to Ashburton Hospital. Now, Ashburton Hospital, the symptoms, these sound incredibly serious. We don't have an MRI machine. We don't have any of our, but this, we need to get you to Christchurch Hospital. Immediately. The whole time he's going

Oh dear god This has gone from Zero to a hundred They're like We're going to have to Airlift you To Christchurch hospital Oh my god

He was so Airlifted To Christchurch hospital He's at Christchurch hospital And I think he's going To the MRI machine And they couldn't Find anything wrong

So then they're like Oh there's clearly Something wrong with this poor kid. And so they keep him in hospital for like a week doing tests. And his mum's like, we always knew he was special. Oh, no. We always knew something was wrong, something slightly different about him. And they couldn't figure it out.

So they just had to release him. And then they kept obviously checking up afterwards to make sure he's okay and you never dropped the facade no well I suppose

you get to a point when you're on your plane going to Christchurch Hospital line there going

oh I'm in too deep oh my god alright we'll go to the phones the biggest excuses you've used to get out of

things the links you've gone to Mel it's not terribly entertaining I don't think, but I just... But you're like, I'll ring up anyway, I'll give it a bash, and that's the attitude, Mel. I like lady Gaga, so there we go.

I like your honesty. I'm not an athletic person, and I absolutely hated PE at school, and I swear to God, in my sixth form year, I had my period every week to get out of it. Did you have a female teacher or a male teacher? No, we was a male teacher and all I had to do was like occasionally write a note, which was easy enough, you know. Please excuse, she's got her period, blah, blah. Or I just sit there and look like I was in pain and hold my stomach

and we yeah he's like oh yep no no no alright you go get out of here no male teacher is going to question someone on their period

he's like no no further questions absolutely but every week I swear to God for my sixth form year I have my period and there's no questions asked

it's the ultimate get out of jail free card isn't it well I don't know if you are in a court of law the judge is going to be like oh she had my period. No questions asked. It's the ultimate get out of jail free card, isn't it? Well, I don't know if you are in the court of law, the judge is going to be like, oh, she had her period. Yeah.

They should do. She gets off that murder. Hey, well, guess what, Melissa? The story was pretty decent. I'll give you that and we'll put you in the drawer for Lady Gaga this afternoon. You could be in Melbourne VIP treatment.

Awesome. Thank you so much. Tasman, the lengths you've gone to get out of something. Quite a few years ago, I didn't want to go to work. I really couldn't be bothered. So I backed my car into a ditch, took a photo, and sent it to my boss. Was there any actual damage to the car? No, I did it quite carefully.

Oh, that is incredible. And you can get it out of the ditch afterwards? Yeah. Oh, wow. Well done. That's a great play. Just carefully reversing into a ditch. If someone's watching that, they'll be like, what are they doing?

Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. Some great messages here coming through of the lengths people have gone to to get out of something. We moved to England for six weeks so we didn't have to spend Christmas with the in-laws. Oh, wow. That's a great one.

Years ago, I worked at McDonald's in Australia. They wouldn't let me come home for my dad's 50th, so I told them my mum had gone missing. There was a full-on search for her. So I had to go and join the search party. Oh, my gosh. There's some brilliant ones coming through here. Rick, good morning to you. Yeah, good morning, guys.

How are you all? We're doing well. Lentz, you've gone to get out of something, Rick. Yeah, mate, this is years ago. Back in the day, everyone's birthday went into a ballot, and it was drawn out, and you had to then, if it was drawn out, you had to do a three-month in the day, everyone's birthday went into a ballot and it was drawn out. And you had to then, if it was drawn out, you had to do a three months in the army service. And I was at training college, didn't want to go.

Went through there. My birthday date got called out. Went through doing the bloody medical and everything was going well. I said, oh, this is not looking good. And I had an obvious broken nose. And the guy said to me, oh, he said, your broken nose is out of hindrance. I said, I can't breathe through it. And I sat there going, and that was it.

He said, sorry, we can't take that. So I was absolutely happy as a sandboy with that. You would have been like, oh, really? Oh, I can't find it. Oh, I've always wanted to be in the army. Absolutely. Yeah. I was going to be in the army. Absolutely. Yeah. I was going to go to the army.

Good on you, Rick. Have a great day. Appreciate it. Who have we got here? Jenna, morning to you. The lengths you've gone to get out of something. Jenna? Morning.

When I was at high school, I hated PE and another PE story, but I actually wrote a letter to my PE teacher excusing me for the term of PE lesson. For the whole term? For the whole term, and said that I had a serious knee condition. And you wrote your own letter? I wrote my own letter, yeah. And then when my mum and dad went to, you know how they used to do it

back in the day, interviewing, you know, like speed dating and the whole, you know, all the different teachers? Yeah. And it came to Mrs. Nichols, my PE teacher, and I didn't book it. There was no, you know, appointment made for her. And when mum and dad were walking out, she was like, oh, gosh, I'm so sorry to hear about Jenna's knee. Is she going to need surgery? See, kids, it always backfires

doesn't it? It's a lesson. Oh, that is so good. Why ever? Never. And she was like, oh, we're not sure. And then when she got home, she was like, what? Mum, I've committed a bit of fraud. You might want to sit down for this.

Oh, that's a great call, Jen. Appreciate it. Marianne, Marianne, we've got some good ones coming through. Well, it doesn't match up to those other things. But listen, when I was a kid, I didn't want to have a bath. For some reason, I went through a phase as a kid that I didn't want to have a bath. And I went to the trouble of going into the bathroom, closing the door behind me, running the bath, you know, so you could hear it running, and then I would sit on the edge of the bath fully clothed,

and I'd flash the water around with my hands, and it sounded like I was laughing. And then I thought, oh, hang on, how long do I do this for? So I thought, okay. So I sort of mimed washing my body all over with my hands. What did you say about that? Here and there. And, you know, I did the whole body wash, not. And then by the time I thought, okay, that's fair enough,

that's time enough, they'll be convinced. If anyone was even listening, we were down the passage in the bathroom. This whole pantomime's going on. And I emptied the basket on my pajamas and walked out. Yeah, walked out. No probs. No probs.

I did it a few times. You faked bathing, but also essentially taking the same amount of time it would have taken to bath. Yeah. That's right. That's what I thought to myself as I'm doing it. I'm thinking, but still, I didn't get to have to have a bath, and that was a win. I had a friend that faked a tummy bug and he said he took a yogurt container and a potter and he like we've got oh and he was taught with water into the into

the butt and so it sounded like he was mom and then he put a little bit of yogurt around his mouth as he came on out oh i've been sick he was like do this i'm like there's a lot of effort to go to you know if we were criminals we'd go a long way. Yeah, we would. Good on you, Marianne. You grew in the draw. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits.

I want to talk about relationships. Okay. I want to delve into your guys' relationship. You always say that we've got the perfect one. You and Andrew, your husband, yeah? We don't. But anyway, there is one thing. A study was done with a bunch of couples that have been together longer than 10 years,

and there was one thing that all of the couples agreed that they do, and they reckon it's a really big key to whether your relationship will survive. Not talk to each other. A silent treatment and an argument. Hang out with other people. Sleep in separate bedrooms. Especially living in separate houses yeah usually living in separate houses

things are going great let's have a guess what would it be I'd say sitting there it's not sleeping in separate bedrooms because over here

so many more people are normalising that at the moment what do they call that and still saying it's the wonders for their relationship yeah they reckon

it's really good for your intimacy shall we say what do they call that Bedpost calls that a spike in sales. I would say is it getting home every day and talking about your day? Well, that's probably a good one, but that's not it. Because no one wants to hear about each other's day.

Especially if they come home and they're like, oh, God, and you're like, please don't start. Please don't start. It's not talking about your day. Not talking about your day. No. Okay. I don't know.

I'm going to stop. I'm stumped. All of the couples agreed that they fart in front of each other. Oh, really? And they're fine with it. And they're saying this is good for their relationship. The experts are like, if you can be completely yourself and open and just let it rip and be good with it, then it's really good and you're comfy and you're yourself.

You've got nothing to hide. Yeah, I guess in some ways. Otherwise you're just walking around. I get it. Otherwise you're walking around just squeezing the whole time. Just holding things in. Yeah, but then there's also a standard of what you want to be. That's probably saying with your appearance and things.

If you're comfortable doing whatever, not washing and things like that. You know, it's good for your relationship. Yeah, hygiene, slipping. Each to their own. Do you do that? I try not to. Yeah, we're the same. In all honesty, I've been with Jen sort of, you know, 20 years plus.

I don't think I've ever once seen her. No. No. We're all in the same boat. We don't do it either. Oh, no, no. I have. I have. She hasn't.

No. But I'm not going around going, hey, listen to this. I just silently do it and then sort of it slowly builds and then the anger slowly hits from the other members of the household. I know a couple that have been together probably like 15 years and he has never known when she's gone number two. Alright.

He's never known her two. It's nice to have your own time for that sort of stuff but yes, but you know, it's not like someone's yelling out what have they done? Just a minute.

Well just tell them if she's gone, if she's disappeared for 10 or 15 minutes. It's more when the kids are screaming and Andrew's like where are you?

I'm like having two minutes to myself. I'm crying on the toilet seat. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. Let's pour me a drink. I'm interested to know what happened to you

at the alteration shop. It feels like a really intimate setting where you're most vulnerable with someone measuring all your body bits. Well, it actually wasn't to do with me and I, you know me, I'm not a big person

for confrontation, don't want to make a scene or anything with me. And you know me, I'm not a big person for confrontation, don't want to make a scene or anything like that. But in this case, I was like, this person is trying to rip me off. So I took my daughter along. She wanted a couple of pairs of pants taken up. And she wanted them, this was a couple of days ago, but she was like, ideally, we went that afternoon,

we were like, hopefully we can get them done by the end of the day because there was a faster alteration. Speedy alterations, yeah. You can get the normal thing done or you can get it a little bit faster. This is your business idea. Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift.

Taylor should have been called Taylor Swift. You're right. For copyright reasons, probably couldn't. But TAI, it works. Well, true, actually. Yeah, Taylor Swift, the Swift Taylor. Yeah, right. It should have been that.

But let's say there was a bit of a language barrier between myself and the person working there. And I was just trying to go, hey, we want this done. The measurement's there. I was taking my pants in for my daughter. How slowly were you talking? Were you boomer, boomer, ordering it? Because we had it all measured out. My daughter wasn't with me, but I

had it all sort of measured out. But I was like, how much? I just want to get the fastest service today. How much is this going to cost and what time can I come pick it up? And we weren't quite vibing on what was going to happen. I just, you know, she was saying stuff back to me. I was saying stuff back to her just like what time and how much? And then she grabbed the calculator and then she put in numbers, you know, into the calculator and she held it up to me.

And I was like, four zeros. I was like, 400 bucks. I was like, $400. For someone who doesn't like conflict. It really took me off guard. I was like, what, $400? I was like, oh, no, no, I don't want that. I don't want the pants done today if it's going to cost me $400.

I love it how she's like let me just I'll put in the dates the times and then she was kind of going no no no

and I was going no no no so we're both going back forward no no no it was kind of a weird thing

and then we slowly sort of worked it out she was like pointing at the thing and I was going yeah I got $400

and then she went and found someone else working there and came back with their watch and then

four o'clock. And four o'clock was what? This is her roundabout way of telling me it was going to be ready by four o'clock. But I was like, Jesus, expensive, $400. She's probably thinking you're going, four o'clock. Like, you're what? Like, this guy.

I'm like, I don't need abuse. That's the earliest I could do it. I'm doing this on the same day, buddy. No, it's real. I mean, it. I'm doing this on the same day, buddy. No, it's a real. I mean, yeah, great, innovative to use the calculator, but it wasn't really helping me when it came to the price. She really should have pointed at her wrist. Like she didn't do military time, $1,600.

$1,600. So, yeah. So quite a mix-up there at the alteration place. But we got the pants. They're all good, and it didn't cost me $400. Jono, Ben, and Megan. The podcast me $500. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits.

I want to talk star signs. Actually, in life there's two kinds of people. People who are into star signs and people who just get on with their life. Yeah. You know? Now, I've discovered that Grace, are you a star sign person, Megan? Oh, I mean, I don't like read them every day, but I, yeah. Yes. Okay, I am a star sign person, Megan? Oh, I mean, I don't like read them every day, but I, yeah. Yes.

Okay. I am a star sign person. Yeah, right. You believe in the character traits of each of them. Now, producer Grace, you come on in here. There was a conversation taking place recently in the studio, and they're actually talking about, Ben, what sort of star sign you were. You're a Virgo.

Virgo. Virgo. And again, I'm not a star sign person. But then Grace goes, because Grace had asked the question, and Grace goes,'re a Virgo. Virgo. And again, I'm not a sass on person. But then Grace goes, because Grace had asked the question, and Grace goes, oh Virgo. Mmm. And it was a mmm, like a, that makes sense. That all adds up.

Well, doesn't he just give Virgo vibes? I don't know what Virgo vibes are. I thought Virgos were like, cool. Isn't Beyonce a Virgo? Oh my god, Megan, that was mean. All right. But I mean. See, no one really knows.

Well, some people do, but I feel like they chuck enough stuff out there that you can pick a little bit if you want to pick enough out of it. Yeah, that probably is true. And I do have to say, I was telling producer Ellie this, when I ask people what their star signs are, I normally just reply with, just to mess with their heads, just to stress, because Ben was really stressed about that.

And you kind of give that look with the eyes like, Virgo, I see that. Well, you did. You did a great job of throwing me off. You do give Virgo energy. I just don't know how to explain it. Ben's obviously a Virgo. Megan's a Leo.

And then they're always like, all star sign people are always like, I could never date a pisces i could never do that like they really live their life by this not compatible because star did you guys not before i mean my partner we i googled he's a sagittarius and i was like okay we're gonna be fine did you not do that no i i did but we're not compatible so i'm just waiting for that day did you not you should do that just to settle we're very compatible, so I'm just waiting for that day. Did you not? You should do that just to set a date. We're very deep into our marriages now. Then you can bring up stuff and be like.

I'll come home today and be like, oh, no, it's been over 20 years, but I had a look at the stuff. Oh, not compatible. What about Virgo and Scorpio, your two relationship? This is going strong after 10 years. Are those two that shouldn't be compatible? I actually don't know. We'll have to look into it.

Do you know if you're, because I know I'm an air sign. Do you know what like element you are? I don't know any of those. Oh gosh. I googled Jono's personality traits and it said passionate, mysterious, loyal, strategic, not at all me. Vengeful?

Your strength? You're determined? Did you say vengeful? Yeah, Jono's vengeful. Scorpios are known to be quite vengeful. Yeah, Scorpios go from zero to 100 too, so they can snap off quickly, can't they? Apparently, your weakness is suspicious, stubborn, secretive. I googled the relationship between Scorpio, Jono, and Virgo, Ben, and it says, although you seem completely different, it can form a deeply compatible and enduring relationship,

particularly in love. Oh, go. We're going to stick together. Unfortunately, Ben and his wife Amanda, though. I don't know. Wap looks into that. We'll do that. Jono, Ben and Megan.

The podcast. The hit. Let me get into your unusual childhoods. Why did you have a unique childhood? It's an amazing story about what happened at the Beyonce show there, Megan. Yeah, so Beyonce's back on tour and if you didn't know, she takes her daughter Blue Ivy

on stage and Blue dances with her dancers. But when she initially started doing it, she was 11 years old and she got a lot of hate on social media. Good, that makes sense. Everyone's like you suck. You wouldn't be up there without your mum. Character building stuff. I think the world needed to be reminded that she was 11.

11. I know. We are idiots. She's doing her best. We're monsters sometimes on the internet, aren't we? Even now with Katy Perry, I'm still feeling it. I know. She's just having fun trying to put on concerts.

Who cares? She's still a great artist doing her best, trying to entertain people. Just an 11-year-old girl dancing with her mum. Not that great, but still dancing with her mum. But now she's back on stage and she's still dancing. Great, because I was like, the worst thing would be if she just stopped doing it. So she's still dancing.

And now everyone's like, no, she's gotten better. She's been doing lots of training, rehearsals. Less bullying now? Less bullying, is there? Well, at least it's more encouraging. Yeah, good. But not only did she bring, Beyonce brought up Blue Ivy, obviously,

and her daughter, Rumi, was on stage with her as well. I probably hear much about Rumi. No, this is the first time. I didn't even know Rumi was a thing. Is Rumi a twin? Are they twins? Yeah, Rumi's a twin. Oh, they are.

Guys, where have you been? I like it not as invested in this as you are, obviously. I'm not following Beyonce's uterus, clearly clearly Rumi got up on stage for the first time And Blue played it very cool But Rumi was jumping and waving and cheering at the crowd And she was like, I'm so happy to be here Did not play it cool Oh right, very excited

Where was Zumi? Very excited The twin I can't remember what the other twin is. I'd love Roomie and Zoomy. Just a really unusual, I mean, for a lot of celebrities, it would be like that, but an unusual childhood, isn't it? Yeah.

But I suppose that's all they know. That's what they know, yeah. That's their norm. We had a friend, he grew up at Disneyland, didn't he? Disneyland, his dad managed Disneyland in Paris, which is just like normal Disneyland, except Mickey's kind of there smoking a cigarette Being judgmental

And not talking to you unless you're speaking French But yeah, he had his birthday parties there Yeah, he was like over the back fence He could pretty much just climb the back fence And be into Disneyland That's so cool He got to the point where he's like, ugh I know Rumi's brother's name

Sir Is it Sir? Sir Carter. I think you'd be allowed that in birth tests. You're not allowed it here. It's a title. No, mate. Can't do that.

Sorry, Beyonce. I've not been across that at all. Well, there's seven, so you're a bit behind. Is there seven? Jeez. No, no. Are there seven kids? No, no, no.

They are seven. Seven years old. There's a whole lot more I don't even know about. Coming out of the woodwork. All right. So we're going to talk about unusual childhood. What made your childhood unusual? Were you like Rumi or the other seven kids that got up on stage with their mum performing

in front of sold out stadiums? Or were you like our friend that lived next to Disneyland Paris? Or maybe just, you know, a little more like, let's scale it back a bit. Okay. Well, Megan grew up in a nudist camp. Yes. Yeah. Man, people I've seen a lot in my childhood.

You have. But that was normal for me. Exactly. Well, it's the norm. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hit. Talking unusual childhoods.

It's probably usual for you. It doesn't feel unusual for you, but it's unusual when other people look at it. It's like we're talking about you, Megan. Yeah, so I used to go to my summer holidays were at like a nudist park, like a naturist park. So everyone was, the kids weren't. I had clothes on, but everyone else was. Wandering around in their birthday suits, Adam and Even.

At what age did you realize not everyone holiday naked? Well, no, I didn't think it was just, I didn't think it was weird until maybe I was a teenager. Right. And everyone's like, oh, that's odd. But I've seen a lot of naked bodies. And I know that everyone looks different. Yeah. Everyone's got floppy bits.

They do. Not everyone looks like the magazines and stuff with no clothes on. No, that's right. Yeah, 95% of the world's got floppy bits. Yeah. And I think that's quite healthy to know, you know. It is healthy to know. Sports, for some reason, they love their jumpy sports.

The volleyballs. I've seen trampolining. Oh, trampolining. Yeah. That's a wild sport to do It's burned into my memory Yeah it would be It would be

In slow motion too I can see it now Why would you want to go trampolining? I don't know It's a fun exercise Yeah but true Not naked Let's go to the phone

Shall we Paula? Morning to you It's great to have you on Your unique childhood My unique childhood. My unique childhood is that my parents spoke only a different language in the house, not English. Oh, did you have to teach yourself English? Well, kind of, for the first couple of years, I guess, until I went to sort of kindy. Yeah.

So what were they, what language were they speaking? They were both speaking Dutch, and my mother really never, really never converted. Dad had to when he left the house and it took years. But, you know, growing up, it was just Dutch. Occasionally, the kids in the street,

their parents would send me home and say, tell your mother to tell you to speak English because you'd forget. Yeah, right. Well, it's funny. Yeah, welcoming.

Welcome to the country. Lovely to have you here. Tell you what, we speak bloody English here, mate. Proper words. Words we all understand. I to have you here. We speak bloody English here, mate. Proper words. Words we all understand. I brought the husband home to meet the parents. He's saying,

I'm like, let's just not go there, right? Yeah, no, good on you. My husband didn't speak English when he came to New Zealand. He only learnt it at school. Oh, your husband didn't. That's incredible. So he only spoke Afrikaans. Afrikaans, yeah. But you know, it's really great now

because I'll sit anywhere in a cafe and people are speaking away and not realising that you can understand everything they're saying. That's a superpower. I appreciate that, Paula. Have a good one. We've got Tammy. Good morning. Your interesting childhood. Tammy, good morning. Good morning.

How are you? Yeah, good. What was unique about your childhood? I was a policeman's daughter in London. And during the 80s, there were lots of riots going on around London. And I couldn't go to school for three months because all my school friends knew that my dad was a policeman. And they weren't very happy with me. Oh, really? Oh, really? Oh, really? You got bullied to stay at home, did you?

Were their parents like... I did get bullied to stay at home. Oh, really? So their parents were like, don't you mix and mingle with her? Well, it was a lot of tension. I'm from South London and it was the Brixton riot.

So there was a lot of tension to do with the police and everything. So yeah, I was encouraged to not go to school for it. It was quite scary, isn't it? Yeah, it was. It was quite scary. And it was a very unique experience being a policeman's daughter in the 80s in London.

Do Daddy have any stories that he told you maybe later in life about there? He told me there was a robbery at the Millennium Dome where they had a jewel thief go in. And my dad was one of the police there. The thief went in with figures and stuff. They actually went in bulldozers to bulldozer the place. Oh, this was the OG Ram raid. I know, it was a Ram,

it was a big one, but the police had already exchanged the diamonds for fake ones, so they got away with nothing. He was on the Flying Squad, which dealt with armed robberies and stuff. Sounds like a Billy Guy Ritchie movie. That's incredible. Hey, thanks for your call, mate. Appreciate it.

No worries. Cheers, Tammy. I remember I grew up on an airbase, like on a steady diet of jet fuel and salty language. But you know how you have memories and you're like, did that happen or did my mind make that up? Because I'm pretty sure at the Christmas party, they did a lolly scramble out of the helicopter.

Oh, they might have. And I've always thought that's a huge waste of government reason. Different time, different time. And I was like, did they do a flyover with the Hercules and Chuck lollies out the back of the door? I'm pretty sure. I hope so. I hope so too.

Tom Cruise there as well. Did we call him Maverick? Like Dad. We played volleyball shirtless. Great memories with the airbag. That was Megan at the news call. Tom Cruise was there too. He was.

He was full nude. John O'Bannon, Megan. The podcast. The hits. Wild weather, as we mentioned, we've been banging on about for the last 45 minutes overnight. A lot of people waking up. They had roofs ripped off their houses. Some people evacuated. Power outages. Yeahages some flooding around the canterbury region yeah

excuse me so a lot of people working out to some wild scenes oh 800 the hits what have you woken up to this morning or in the past what wild scene have you woken up to this morning alarm goes off and the dog has somehow made its way onto my pillow. Now, I feel like he sleeps in 23 different locations throughout the night, throughout the whole house. How big's your dog? He's just a tiny dog. He's a Cavoodle, so he's very, very small.

And I woke up with the dog's butt directly in my face. It was kind of like the tail was on my forehead, and my eye was staring straight at that eye and it was confronting way to be welcomed into a friday morning so you're gonna have a pink eye for the weekend i hope not especially like how you got it is yeah well what's the worst thing you think you've woken up to well not a dog but fortunately

in some ways my dog's so massive that I've just got no dogs on the bed or the couch so he knows and every time the kids will get him

up there he looks at me like I'm not meant to be here I'm not meant to be here this is on them both this is on them I mean I'm both right I know

yeah so that's quite good I mean he's too big he'd take over most of the bed yeah he's a big rig yeah worst thing you've woken up to Megan I think when my dog had an explosion from both ends Right, I know. Yeah, so that's quite good. I mean, he's too big. He'd take over most of the bed. Yeah, he's a big rig. Yeah, worst thing you've woken up to, Megan? I think when my dog had an explosion from both ends and was just like sitting there looking at me like,

help me. Okay. Now, can you beat this? 0800 the hits. Worst thing... Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits.

Woke up to a dog's butthole on my face this morning. Terrible, terrible start today. Rebecca. It would have been lovely for your dog, though. It's like, oh, nice warm breath on my bum. I don't know. Does he know he's doing it? Probably.

Probably. He already had a bit of payback, isn't it, for leaving him outside? Rebecca, morning to you. Good morning, guys. How's it going? Oh, we're doing well. It's lovely to have you on the show this morning. Worst thing you've woken up to, Bex?

We had a big flood a few years ago and we had a pond and then the creek sort of came through the back and there was cows in the back paddock and they tried to get across the drain into our section and they got stuck, well one got stuck in the drain. We had to call the fire department

and they came with the fire truck and winched it out and got it out. You had a cow in your backyard. That's a good thing to wake up to. Yeah, and it was a public holiday, and we felt so bad. It was like Labor Weekend, and it was like, oh, I'm so sorry, we have to get you out early.

So all the volunteer fire brigade at Waiuku. Oh, good on them. Good on them. And how was the beef meal that night? Was the cow okay? I'm sorry, that's right. The cow was fine. Oh, that's good. That's what we wanted.

Hey, we're going to check in the draw to go see Lady Gaga, alright? Awesome, thank you. See you, mate. You're almost doing it like David Trump. A hug up on the next caller. So that's, well, that'll be the end of that, guys. I'm sorry. My bad.

It's on me. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. The New Zealand Herald Daily Quiz is what we do around about this time. We're still quizzing. We are, but I've come up with some sweeping changes this morning, team. We've had three days of, sorry, four days of incredibly historical and geographical

niche quizzes. Haven't we? Some curly questions. Yeah. So you had a look at it this morning because we don't have a look at it. You do.

Yeah. Morning quiz you can get on the New Zealand Herald and you're like, oh, it's too tough. Yeah, it's just too tough.

Yeah. I like that exact decision on a Friday. I do. I do. I appreciate it. Okay, cool.

I want it to be fun. So I went and looked for another quiz and now I'm stealing from somewhere else. Quiz for cool. I want it to be fun. So I went and looked for another quiz, and now I'm stealing from somewhere else. Quiz for children. Yeah, from a wheelhouse. Now, this is actually... Coach, this is what my kids always do all the time.

This one wasn't made today, but this is a One News Daily Quiz from a few months ago. So hopefully you haven't seen this one. Are we saying that the One News Quiz is dumber than the quiz that we're usually doing? More fun, more fun. Okay, more enjoyable. On a Friday, you want to hang out with the One News quiz is dumber than the quiz that we're usually doing? More fun. Okay, more enjoyable.

On a Friday, you want to hang out with the One News quiz. Exactly. All right, question number one. What was Jonah Lomu's McDonald's burger called in the 1996 collab? It was Mega Burger. It was something with mega in it. So Mega Feast, Mega Man, Mega Mart, or Mega Lomu? I think it was Mega Feast, wasn't it? It wasn't Mega Man. Mega Feast, Mega Man, Mega Mart, or Mega Lomu? I think it was Mega Feast, wasn't it? So Mega, what the options?

Mega, it wasn't Mega Man. Mega Feast, Mega Man, Mega Mart or Mega Lomu? I think you might be right on Mega Feast. Mega Mart? Yeah, Mega Mart. Mega Markle? Mega Markle. They should do a Mega Markle.

Mega Markle. Mega Feast, lock it in? Yeah, yeah. That is correct. Well done, guys. Your questions are really good there, Ali. I was like, well, maybe we haven't got it right. The mega fish to me was like almost, it was a kiwi burger, but with the mayonnaise.

It had mayo on it, and it was really good. It didn't have the egg in it, but it had the mayo in it. So if you order a kiwi burger and get some, yeah, I think I had, yeah. So if you, Sam's egg with mayo is basically John Olomo's. Yeah. There's only so many combinations they can pull together I guess. Alright, question number two. Which Hollywood

star made their professional auto racing debut in Indianapolis last October? Was it Keanu Reeves, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Daddy DeVito or Keira Knightley? Wait, did they debut in what? NASCAR. Indianapolis, yeah. And race car driving, auto racing debut.

The one that Scott Dixon does. What, racing against Scott Dixon? I'm not sure. It just said it was a professional auto racing debut, yeah, in Indianapolis. I haven't heard of any of those people doing that. Arnie feels like it's just a bit too old, and I don't want to age shame Arnie, but if we're doing a process of illumination, Keira Knightley could be a dark horse.

British though. Yeah, true. Keanu's quite, you know. I feel like it could be Keanu. He loves riding a bike, a motorcycle. Yeah, I feel like motorcycles, but I don't know. Who was the other one? Have we covered everyone?

Dan DeVito. No, DeVito. Too short. He'll be one of those boomers you drive past and you can't see over the handle. And if everybody boosts a seat. Exactly. So we're going to go Keanu And if everybody boosts a seat. Exactly. So we're going to go Keanu. John Wick.

Yeah, that is correct. Well done. Yay. That's a great quiz. I love him so much. All right, question number three. Which patron saint is celebrated on February 14? Is it St. Peter?

Valentine. St. Valentine. That is correct. Nice. This is the quiz that we like, guys. This is a quiz. Yeah. What luxury car brand is known for having scissor doors that open straight up?

Is it Ferrari? Lamborghini, isn't it? Lamborghini. That is correct. Well done. So low level. How do you spell cat? I think I spell smart, so shush.

Which airline was started by Sir Richard Branson? Virgin. That is correct, guys. Wow, you're a roll. I think you'll get this one too. Where do the Warriors play their home game? Oh, God. I'm going to say Mount Smart, yeah.

That's correct. Wait, what number are we up to? I think we're about number eight. Okay, we're going to pause there. Okay. And we're going to come back to it because as soon as you're going to say the question, we're going to blurt out the answer. Yeah.

All right, we're going to come back next and see if we can get 10 out of 10 this morning. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. All right, now we're in the middle of not the New Zealand Herald Daily Quiz. No. The fun one news quiz that makes us feel a lot more smarter than it is. You know what this is?

This is the dumbing down of the nation and we love it. No, Ben and I just did the Herald Quiz. It was tough today. It was too much. There was maybe two or three that I knew and the rest I just guessed and some I guessed right and some I guessed wrong.

It was hard. It was really hard. And the general life rule to abide by, if something's too hard, do something easier. Find something easier. All right, question number seven. Here we go.

All right. Which heavyweight boxer was known for his devastating left hook and once challenged Lennox Lewis for the world title? Joseph Parker, David Naika. Naika? Oh, Na David Naika, Manny Pacquiao or David Tua? Tua did. Tua, yeah.

That is correct. Boys, nice work. All right. He still looks amazing, David Tua. Yeah, he runs a gym out south, doesn't he? He's got a gym and he trains in jandals. Oh, legend. He never takes the jandals off, even when he's boxing.

That's amazing. All right, question number eight. Pedro Pascal stars as the lead character in which Star Wars TV series? The Aco...

I don't know any of these words. The Acolyte, The Mandalorian, The Book of Boba Fett, or Pedro Wars? Oh my gosh. I'm not a Star Wars

person. Are you a Star Wars person, Grace? Producer Grace is. Can we pull Grace as our Phone friend I feel like

Process of Elimination Go through Was he in the Mandalorian? Well that's a series right Producer Grace Gen Z Producer Grace You're a big fan of Star Wars I have watched this

And it is the Mandalorian Oh Correct Nice work I said that Well done You nailed it Megan Daddy Pedro

We love Pedro Pascal Is that where he Is that where he came to everyone's attention Was it? Narcos I think Alright question number nine You're nearly there How many Pirates of the Caribbean films have been released? Is it two, three, four or five?

I thought four initially They've had a good burst He's done well I feel like even like Was it Keira Knightley? She tapped out and came back. She was in the first one. Yeah, there's been a few. There's the case of the stinky wench and the lost man's leg.

Four or five, I reckon. What are the options? Yeah, two, three, four or five. Ah, are the options? Yeah two three four or five Ah four Should we go four? Five feels like They'd like to do five But he had some shaky

Court troubles Yeah Hopefully they'll come back And do five Okay four It's incorrect It was five Yeah

It was five Yeah Was he in the last one? So we dipped out And we were one question away What was the final question? You would have got this Which nation's flag is this?

And it's got a massive Union Jack and that's all. Is it the United Kingdom, Germany, Sweden or Portugal? Germany. Yeah. Jeez, I like that quiz. Yeah, that was fun. That was a good one. That's what we need in New Zealand on a day.

We're rough weather. No one wants to be at work or go on the way. That's what we need. Exactly.