Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: Someone Thought We Were A Charity....

Episode Date: October 25, 2022

Today on the Jono and Ben podcast, someone thought we were a charity.... is our producer Joel the biggest tight-arse in the country and when have you mixed up the menu!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. 26th of October, it's Jono, it's Ben, it's the podcast. Ranked number 87 on the top 100 podcast list. Oh, that's good. There's a lot of great podcasts out there. Yeah, figures just to hand. Do you know what we've been doing? Far better for me to plug another podcast, to join the podcast, but we've been doing ACC basketball podcasts.

And so last week joel producer joe asked me asked me for it mate week two asked me it was because we're on the road we're on the road it's an nba podcast talking you know with no real basketball expertise but just much like this show just check it out on our radio wherever your podcast from and we're on the road and they were like hey we're on the road the usual time one o'clock on a tuesday yeah can't record there but i can record here's a window gave them a window organize it with a b hump so we're going to plug it in you know the system there and everyone was like oh that's great with me let's just make the deciding vote on producer joel and he's like no mate cut him god cut him

cut him from the top five benched him that episode mate through the roof numbers never been better yes i'm back I'm back this week but jeez it was tough it was tough it's because it was four o'clock and I was looking

out for you Ben I know you overwork yourself I was like you guys are on the road were you looking out for Ben

or were you looking out for yourself I was also I was also like I don't know I start work at five in the morning

being here at five o'clock at night he was on the road he's already on a work trip I was going to a packersave store To give out our chips

At five o'clock Yeah So Well we know the real reason Yeah I know You know What do you talk about NBA obviously

Yeah talk about Something You know Not Do you talk about How tall they are Yeah sometimes Is that a topic of conversation

It's a fact for you John 2,800 people in the world Are over seven foot He's quite good With his facts, Joel. That is interesting. His stats. Only 2,000? 2,800, yeah.

That's not that many. I know. In percentage of the world, obviously seven foot is freakishly tall. How many of them are in the NBA? I'm not too sure. Someone asked that. That was like the first response from one of the other people on the podcast. I'd say probably 200.

200 over seven foot. It's very tall, eh? It is. It is very tall. And if you're seven foot and you're not playing basketball, everyone would be like, do you play basketball?

You know the world's tallest gentleman was 8'11". 8'11"? Oh, wow, no. Only 15 people are above seven foot in the NBA, apparently. That's still pretty good stats.

Or 23. It's probably about 30. Is it 15 or 23? Whoa. I saw a bumper sticker the other day actually. There was someone who very tall

got out of the car and he had bumper stickers going don't ask me what the weather's like up there and no I don't play basketball with the two stickers on the back. But you're not going to ask that to someone in the car

because he's sitting down. So you're not going to know. Someone probably got it from him as a joke If anything he needs it on a name badge Or a t-shirt You know I've really blown Blown my social media Algorithms to smithereens

Because I just find Hasbulla That wonderful little adorable Hasbulla who's somehow tied in with the UFC With Khabib You've seen him He's very popular Huge on social media He's an adult

He's 20 something 19 I think 19 But he's very small So he hasn't I guess a form of dwarfism But oh gosh he's adorable And I always send you

So many lovely videos and memes of Hasbulla Just doing cute things And now all my Social media things I want to see is, you know, footage of tiny people, tiny little people. I sent you one of the little dancing troops. Did you see the dancing troops? Kids getting hurt.

You sent us all sorts of stuff. People doing motorbike burnouts that go wrong. You were just a... A bogan on social media. i don't i get no response from the videos i feel like your parents you know when your parents keep sending you read this funny joke and it's like four pages long and no no response i'm getting nothing back at the start i definitely did but sometimes i'll look out i go oh i've got seven dms they're all videos from john i send me stuff and i don I do appreciate them

but then sometimes I'm like, oh. What was the last, okay, so the last one I sent you, I want you to, I want you to tell me in real time

what you actually thought of it. Okay? And, oh, it was actually, it wasn't a Hasbulla one. It was a very fit gentleman in a gym and he's doing

press-ups and diving on the ground and pushing himself back up. that was very good, that one. Yes, I did enjoy that one. This guy looks like he's actually sped up. No, it's not sped up. No way.

But you did a classic one of that one because you sent it to me and I don't know if I played it, but then you even showed it to me IRL as well. You went, oh, look at this, mate. Have you seen this one? I sent it to you. So you were itching me to see it. Oh, did you see this one from a rugby game where the kicker is trying to kick the ball off and they've never done a drop kick before? Oh, no Oh, did you see this one from a rugby game where the kicker is trying to kick the ball off

and they've never done a drop kick before? Oh, no, I didn't see this one. Here we go. Oh, gee. They completely, I don't know how they got their position on the rugby team.

Yeah, like out of all the people you're like, mate, you know, I've got this. Do you want to see me do it? No, no, we'll just take your word for it. And they chucked them out there.

Oh, that's very good. Middle of the pitch, they dropped the ball on the ground and completely missed it, and it sort of dribbles over to the other half of the field. Well, enjoy the podcast today. It's a lot of fun to show. There's some personal issues. Obviously, when I got dropped from the podcast,

maybe they came across into our podcast today because Producer Joel, we take him to task for something that he did at lunchtime yesterday. You be the judge on the podcast today because uh producer joel we uh take him to task for something that he did at lunchtime yesterday you'll be the judge on the podcast today the jonathan ben podcast the world's number one podcast please don't check those stats cyclists and i just said i uh i noticed so you feel them out on the road at this time of morning then you guys agreed with me on air and then as soon as you turn the mics off you're like i never see cyclists but you were too I was too polite to disagree

we had 8 seconds of Lady Gaga until she started singing so I was like I'm not going to get into a banter there I was just like yeah yeah sure

I'm sure there are cyclists out on the road that early but yeah well I've I've seen a couple but I see more during the day I get your point

more during daylight hours my question is to your hobby cyclists I mean all the cyclists we see riding around, they're not Tour de France cyclists. I imagine they're doing it for fitness purposes, hobbies. Sometimes getting to work, you mean? Getting to work, yeah.

Yeah, things like that. At what stage in your cycling career are you distinguished enough to wear full Lycra? That's my question. When do you get your L plates Your lycra plates Yeah How long do I have to be cycling Till you Ben go

You know what You've been doing this Long enough now I grant you permission To wear a full lycra suit With all sorts of sponsors Written over it I think

It's a big step Obviously it's a big step Huge step in your cycling career But I think also You know Comfort And also you know Chafing and things like that

I think there's a lot of reasons why they wear it. Like day one. Not just fashion. If you said, let's take up cycling. Day one, I turn up this afternoon in a full lycra suit, moose knuckle on display and everything. What are you saying? Is that too keen? Well, I think it's showing commitment.

It's showing. It definitely shows that you're not in it just for one little, just to coin your phrase, for a laugh. But you'd know 100 metres down the road I'd be huffing and puffing and wheezing and I probably would dip out of the sport. Yeah. But I think it obviously has a lot of benefits to cycling, you know? Yeah. Like you say, chafing, comfort would be a big thing.

I mean, there's not many people on the face of the earth who can actually pull off a full lycra cycling suit. Not even Lance Armstrong could do it. He took steroids to make himself feel better about doing it. You know, you have to be confident. Especially going into a cafe after your cycle. Yeah, they do love our lycra sitting around having a coffee afterwards

though they're in the full lycra. But I guess you're not going to whip and get changed and then, you know. So it seems like cafes are safe places to go in lycra. Could I walk into Bendon Lingerie, pick up some shopping? Can I go through the mall in full Lycra? For some reason, bakeries, cafes, they're all go. You never see them in Bunnings wandering around, do you?

Actually, yeah. At some stage, they do get you. Yeah, you're right. You hardly ever do see them in a Bunnings. For some reason, we've made it appropriate for people to walk in. I guess the cycling is the cafe's mid-cycle. They're not whipping into Bunnies to buy a flat pack of barbecue or something like that, are they? And they take up a lot of floor space, a lot of real estate at the old cafe, don't they?

300 cyclists. There we go. Hard-hitting interviews and informed opinion. Mike Hosking on Newstalk ZV. In the meantime... Jono and Ben on the hits. Scrolling through your feed. We don't know the full story, but rest assured, we'll just make the rest up.

Ben, what's happening? Well, clothing giant Adidas has finally cut ties with the rapper known as Ye or Kanye West after what they described as some hate speech when he posted anti-Semitic comments on his Twitter account. Kanye seems to be on, you know, like he often does this from time to time, puts out a lot of comments on his Twitter account. Kanye seems to be on, you know, like he often does this from time to time, puts out a lot of comments on his Twitter, on his Instagram, like that, and there's been a lot of heat, I guess, not only on him,

for the comments that he's been making by actors and other people around Hollywood, but also companies that he's been associated with, particularly Adidas. They have a very successful line of Yeezy shoes, and so now they've decided they're going to part ways and it's cost them. Already the shares have gone down 8%. They make a net loss in pounds about $217 million of the year. Well, I know a lot of pressure was coming on Adidas

and they've been holding out for a couple of weeks and you can understand why. With that amount of money on the line, you'd be like, oh, can we ride out this anti-semitic? Yeah, it was a smart decision. Now, because that market's open, I am pitching they no longer have Yeezys, which

Producer Behem's made a very good point. They'll be worth double the amount they were before if you own a pair, because they're no longer making them. Why don't you come in with Jono's line of shoes, Yeezys? Would you buy some Jeezy's? I don't know. I need to see the first, you know.

They're pretty much Jeezy's. This is my name. You wouldn't buy Jeezy's, Producer Joel? No one's okay? Also, JP Morgan, his investment firm, a giant investment company, have cut ties with him as well. It's really sad, you know,

because Kanye obviously creatively, very, very smart, music, fashion and stuff, but just saying a whole lot of stuff,. It's really sad, you know, because Kanye obviously creatively, very, very smart, music, fashion and stuff, but just saying a whole lot of stuff and it's really sad. You know, very hard for anyone to really get in behind

and to support him when he's going through all, you know, what he's doing and what he's saying. Well, I think a lot of people put up with it for a long time and go,

oh no, he's obviously, he suffers bipolar. Oh, he deals with bipolar, not suffers with it. And have probably forgiven many of his comments remember he was on a whole big trump trump campaign a while ago and he has lost a lot of friendships

i think over his comments and starts but i think people are wearing tired of it now i imagine and there's enti who he talked to the hollywood lawyer he's been proven right time and time again he had this to say kim kardash most of Yeezy. You know, there was a time when Kanye West was dead broke and he had to sign over a bunch of stuff to Jay-Z, a bunch of his royalties and things like that. So Jay-Z owns most of the recording royalties and things like that. And then with Kim, he signed over most of his companies to her or large percentages of it. So if he wants to get back at her, the best way to do that

is to destroy the company. So he's self-sabotaging the company so she can't make any money. Because she can't now. They don't make the shoes. But it's a long road to claw your way back. Oh yeah, and some of the things he sees, I don't know if he can come back from that.

And just quickly, Blue Ivy, she's the oldest daughter of Beyonce and Jay-Z. They were at a wearable arts gala in Los Angeles, and she bid on some diamond earrings, got up to $80,000, and she was the person that won the successful bid. She stood up there with a paddle. Her parents were there in the room as well, so maybe they gave her a lot. All right, you can do it.

Okay, we'll give you a little budget tonight. Only $100,000 to play with. This is the moment where she bidded on diamond earrings for $80,000. $80,000.

$80,000. $80,000. $80,000. $80,000. $80,000. $80,000. $80,000. $80,000.

$80,000. $80,000. $80,000. $80,000. $80,000. $80,000. $80,000. $80,000.

$80,000. $80,000. $80,000. $80,000. $80,000. $80,000. $80,000. $80,000.

$80,000. $80,000. $80,000. $80,000. $80,000. $80,000. $80,000. $80,000.

$80,000. $80,000. $80,000. $80,000. $80,000. $80,000. $80,000. $80,000.

$80,000. $80,000. $80,000. $80,000. $80,000. $80,000. $80,000. $80,000.

$80, Jesus. I'm so rich. How's that, eh? Only 10 years old, already bidding on. I'm in my first $80,000 bid in an auction when I was 10 years old. It was yesterday. Actually, we went to a house auction when Oscar, my son, was probably three or four. And you know that awkward moment in an auction where it kicks off the good-looking auctioneers like, all right, let's get some bids going, let's get some bids going and no one does anything

no one makes a move do you know that part of an auction? Everyone sort of sits awkwardly. Oscar had had enough of it, he put his hand up in the auction, alright we've got a bidder over here he kicked it off at $10 and it got the ball rolling. They've got to get it on their property ladder somehow and that's what's making news this morning

Damn Microsoft Can you please make order correct for audio? Jono and Ben on the hits. Hey, we've created another job within a job. And that is the ongoing role of travelling chip salesman. We've got Heartland chips out now. They're fantastic.

Maple bacon. Canadian maple bacon. It's Canadian, isn't it? I said it was. Is that Canadian? I said it was. Is that Canadian? I've only seen... I'd say it's New Zealand own company, Heartland. Let's not give the Canadians

any part of our chips. No, but I'm just saying we've gone over, we've taken their pigs. We've taken their bacon. It's actually vegetarian. Maple bacon. Yeah.

Vegetarians can eat the chips as well. It's gluten free. It's vegetarian friendly. Yeah, because a lot of people do come up and go, are these vegetarian friendly? And I don't want to be the one responsible for putting bacon

in a vegetarian's mouth. And I'm like, yeah, well it says on the packet they're vegetarian friendly and they are. And that makes people happy. That's right. So it's, yeah, bacon flavoured. So you've got maple bacon, you've got sour cream and chives and you've got salt and vinegar and that's all together.

It's a mash-up that shouldn't, on paper, it shouldn't work. No, not even on paper or on packet, Ben. When people read it on the packet, they grimace and they squint. But once they try them, they are pleasantly surprised. And so we've been going around supermarkets, as I said, travelling chip salesmen. The chip game, it's a brutal game. We had a bit of a confrontation with Bluebird yesterday.

Now, we were at the front of the pack and save in Mount Albert there And Another travelling chip sales person Came along and set up the Bluebird Right in front of the store too Prime position Coming in at $1.99 the old Bluebird chips Trying to undercut

The Heartland boys That's us Because we were two for $5. You can get our chips everywhere or right around the country in all supermarkets right now. Look out for Heartland chips. Jono and Ben. Buy a packet. Take a photo with them.

Scan the QR code. You win $10,000. The bird's coming. Trying to come in and do a cash promo. We've got the bird nervous, mate. I think we've got the bird. The bird is shaking. I think we're very nervous.

You're very good on the floor too, Joel. Joel, producer Joel you got to witness Jono in action you can see why he's the top sales rep for two years running in the top of

North Island day I think he actually might have to move out of on air radio and up to the sales team he ends in means he's the driver before you buy

hello hello lady you're chipping your back you're like very sleazy but very it was weird

they had to send the pack and save HR team down they went up to Ben and I they're like yeah to send the Pack and Save HR team down to... They went up to Ben and I. They're like, yeah, we're going to... There's an HR representative down there today as well. Wonderful Renita.

She was offering me some advice. She's like, why don't you throw out try before you buy? Hey, lady. And so I like to... Well, I like to focus in on someone. I say, hello, lovely lady. Looks like it was a stressful weekend. You know what you need in your life?

Some chips. And they're looking at you like, who is this strange sleazy sales rep? All sales reps are a little sleazy, aren't they, mate? Not all of them. It's me. A little bit sleazy. It gets the results we keep in mind.

It gets the results. It gets the results. Two years running, up and on the island, sales rep of the year. Anyway, and I like to throw them over to you. I was like, look at my colleague over here.

Look at him. Father of two, husband of four. Don at my colleague over here. Look at him. Father of two, husband of four. Don't ask how that works. Look at him. How would you not trust that face? I'll send them over to you. You sample the chips. We send them on their way. Do you know, I bought a bag the weekend. It's quite weird buying your own bag

of chips, but I bought a few bags over the weekend. One of them I got home and I was like, someone had opened them. Obviously tried before they buy. Tried before you buy. Not in one of our official taste testing home and I was like, someone had opened them. Obviously tried before they buy. Tried before you buy. Not in one of our official taste testing, but I was like, oh, this bag's a bit slightly empty. But yeah. So what did you do? Did you take it back?

I got home. I got home by now. Did you James Corden it, mate? Throw your weight around? Go back to the supermarket? But if you want to win $10,000, as John I said before, buy a packet of our Heartland chips. Take your chip pic. Take your photo, send it back through the QR code, and you could win $10,000. Actually, the Bluebird guy that we did have a run-in with, we didn't even have a run-in with.

He was lovely. He was lovely. We had a photo. It was very amicable. It's lovely in the chip game, isn't it? It's beautiful. The travelling chip salespeople, there's mutual respect. Isn't there?

We're all just trying to hawk off chips. Boredly going where no show has gone before. How long is it going to take for Ben to make fun of my bald head? Jono and Ben on the hits. Jono's internet wormhole. Oh, well, Jono, the slippery, slimy worms come crawling out of his hole again. His internet hole I got lost yesterday, Ben. Now, this is 200 of the most famous and influential people in the world

who have changed society, culture, and science forever. Okay? Now, I was thinking it's basically the most famous people in the world. Okay, yeah. And I was going through the top five. So this is obviously of all time, of all time, the most famous people in the world. Yeah.

Now, factoring in how they've impacted the world, I'm not saying these are the most loved people in the world. now factoring in how they've impacted the world i'm not saying these are the most loved people in the world here we go but they are the most famous most well-known this has already started to make me nervous we're going to talk about names of people that i i don't think yeah we're going to mention names that you're not going to be comfortable with but they're the most well-known but you can't argue it like i looked at the list and i wanted to disagree i was like that person doesn't deserve to be in there but factoring the conditions factoring in the conditions how they've changed society made an impact and the amount of people who would know their name well they've they've earned their place okay okay bearing in mind princess diana

she's number 18 she's not even not even near the top 10 no Really? No. Crazy. Are there obviously celebrities like performers and actors and stuff like that? Well, I will tell you. Like Elvis, for example. Elvis is not even in the top 10. Yeah. So at number five, he had the theory of special relativity, E equals MC squared, but it's not special enough to get him at the number one spot. Albert Einstein.

Einstein. Yeah. Yeah, I guess, yeah, not a lot of everyone would know Einstein. Yeah, he would never like wearing socks, apparently. Never wore socks. Hated wearing socks, Einstein. Yeah, that was his thing. He's quite quirky, wasn't he?

He was quirky. Definitely could have gone to the hair salon. Yeah. He let his hair get well away on him towards the later years. He was running three or four hours sleep a day or something like that too i think he just had too much to do obviously a lot going on inside his brain okay there you go einstein okay happy to talk more about einstein but i guess we're gonna gotta press on number four and number four the most tanned of the top five and the only one still living

fake tan tiny hands redneck fans, Donald Trump. Donald Trump. I guess you're right. There wouldn't be people on the earth. Hardly anyone that wouldn't know who he was, right? Biden, on the other hand, you could probably say there'd be many people who wouldn't recognise Joe Biden. Yeah, okay. So that was the impact Trump.

At number three, she was lovely. She was the 1960s Kim Kardashian. Monroe. Marilyn Monroe. Oh, of course, yeah. The Nick Vicks movie on her as well, yeah. There was her friends who hung out with her quite a lot, said she was very intelligent, but in her early years had no

idea how to cook or do anything in the kitchen, so she was at her house one night and said, oh, can you go and wash the lettuce? She walked in and she was scrubbing each lettuce leaf with a brush, individually. It's like us through COVID. I think a lot of New Zealanders will do that. Number two, Hitler.

Oh, yeah. I felt like that one was coming up. Now, this guy, he single-handedly ruined tiny upper lip moustaches for future generations, didn't he? Yeah. But Hitler, did you know, apparently a teetotaler, non-smoker, vegetarian, but he was jacked up on the amphetamines.

Yeah, I think that's right, right? His doctor, a personal doctor, had him all up on all sorts of opioids, going crazy. Oxycodone, meth amphetamine, morphine, cocaine. Hitler was doing it all. And that probably makes a lot of sense, given the decision-making that was happening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so he so number two on the most famous people of all time let's move on from that one number one number one your mate

it's your mate jesus jesus the hebrew hipster jay dog number one or your mate when you want to get your kids into a better school he's everyone's mate all of the time and he forgives me for all of my crazy sins but yeah I mean gee man a guy who turned water into wine if he was alive nowadays he'd definitely be

drinking kombucha and riding a 10 speed bicycle with no brakes on it I like it yeah yeah Jesus number one

most famous and you can't argue that can you no no you're right do you want to argue it no good

I just want to wrap this up. It's actually got Jono and Ben. We've got our chips out right now. Out of this world flavours. Combined maple bacon, sour cream and chives, and salt and vinegar all together in one pack. It's out of this world, and it's all thanks to Heartland. Yeah, we've been going around supermarkets doing taste testings.

We like to employ the velociraptor sales technique. Where are you? Ben, we come from either side. Producer Humphrey or Producer Joel comes in from the back and we kind of trap the shopper into trying our chips. And we all not stop until every New Zealander, every Kiwi, and Aotearoa has had one of our chips inside their mouth, Ben. Yeah, I love your feedback on 4487 on the text.

Tell us honestly what you think about it. But we want to find out how they're going how the units are going in the supermarket so we're going to go through to four square twizel joel if we can dial through mate the four square juliet speaking juliet juliet mate you know you don't have to beat around the bush with us okay what. What are the figures? What are the stats? Give them to us. The sales figures.

Four. For the Heartland Chips, John Owen Ben, ex-Heartland Chips. I'd have to have a look, but I must say I was very surprised at how tasty they were. Oh! Okay. Now, what are they? Are they running out the door? The shelf's half empty.

Oh, half empty. That's good. Is that all right? We don't know. We've only been in the chip game for a week, so we're not sure how it all goes. Yeah, well, I must say, we got a sample pack here,

and at a moment of desperation and hunger one night, we tucked into them, and they were a pleasant surprise, so we'll give you that. That's good. We are also in a moment of desperation. Yeah. Now, could you do us a favour? Yes, possibly.

I'm gathering you've got competing chip brands on the shelves in the Foursquare? We have, but we've got yours centre front. Let's go on an island. I love centre front, but get rid of the other chips. Hide them out the back until these are sold out. It's just what it would be. The guys from the chips. The guys the other chips. Hide them out the back. Until these are sold out. It's just what it would be. The guys from the chips. The guys from the chips.

The guys from the chips. Well, look, we've got you centre stage, centre front, and that's the best we can do, but I can tell you the shelf's half empty. Oh, that's good. And we did give our new young staff a pack to try the other day because they were too scared to buy them. So I said, well, here you go.

Take these and spread the word. Oh, thank you. Well, we'll put you down for another $100,000, shall we, on repeat order? We'll just get that through. All right. So you're out here, and you're forecast, too, for the sales as well, tracking at the moment.

Shelf half empty. When do you expect a full sellout? Oh, I'd say by the end of the week. End of the week, right. Oh, fully sold out. Things going well at the Foursquare Twizel? Yes, they are. by the end of the week. End of the week, right. Fully sold out. Things going well at the Foursquare Twizel? Yes, they are. We've had a busy weekend. Lovely, lovely. Will you keep hustling those chips for us?

Will do. Good luck, guys. Love your work. Okay, see ya. Oh, they're gone. Half of them are gone. Get out there today. You're going to have to buy them all up now. Look out! Scary dinosaurs. Not Jurassic Park. It's these guys donovan benn on the heads prime minister jacinda ardern is going to try again to head to antarctica today yesterday they

tried to go in a plane and i imagined this would be like a i don't know why i thought like a prime minister be flying in like a business class you know you look at the u.s president air force one that sort of thing but no she's in like i know why you You know, you look at the US President Air Force One, that sort of thing. But no, she's in like a- I know why you imagine that, because she's the Prime Minister bit. It's an army plane. It's like one of those ones you'd see the people when they're about to parachute in,

like in Mission Impossible or, you know, Fast and Furious or whatever. It's sitting on the side. It looks noisy. It looks cold. They've got boxes of chips and wine around. She's sitting there reading a book. She's in the cargo plane.

She's in the- We've put our Prime Minister in a cargo hold. And like you had a great analogy before, it's like a plane that if you're watching Fast and the Furious, Vin Diesel would drive a car out the back of. It does. It looks like that. We've put her in there.

It didn't quite make it yesterday. They turned around. She's part of the boomerang club apparently. She's come back. And then they're going to give it a go today. But I'm sure she'd be like, oh, just don't. I mean, 65 years, Antarctica, great achievement. I do not want to take away from that.

But I imagine this has been in her calendar and that event coming up where she's like, oh, is there any way I can get out of this? And then yesterday she would have been like, great, we're turning the plane around. We're going back. And then they're like, no, no, we'll try again tomorrow. Oh, really?

Yeah, probably has done a lot. She's been through a lot over the last couple of years obviously you know through the whole covid thing and at the end of it um you know she the traffic light system got rid of that right and and so we decided well i basically for as many of these things as i forced you into a novelty radio idea going around drinking as many traffic light drinks the children to be honest i'd rather just sit in this room and just say words every morning. But the old mate wants to get out there, do some stuff.

You're going to rattle the market up. He's like, change the market up, mate. Make the market insecure about itself. I was like, the market's fine. Just sit here and say some stuff. Get out there, mate. We tried that for two years during lockdown. It didn't work.

So now we have to get back out there. Get out there. Get out there. Do some stuff. And so, yeah, the traffic lights. We went around to like 50 like 50 odd bars and restaurants drinking the traffic light drink you know the children's drink with the red green yellow yeah a lot of them so much sugar pumping through our veins by the end of the day yeah and i met someone over the weekend because i returned to one of the

bars that we went to one of the the 60 something bars that we went to over the course of the day. And the guy came up to me and he's like, I was there when you guys came in with your green mouths. The great moment. Rattling the market. There you go, you rattled that market. And he was like, I kind of avoided you on the night, but now you're here and I want to know what's going on.

Like, who are you? What are you doing? What is going on? Now, he'd come from the UK. So he was like, I don't know what you're... And he was like, are you know what you and he was like are you a charity are you a charity

is what he said oh see now what you've got us doing we're out there people think we're a charity I mean to be fair I look like I don't have

long to live and you look severely malnourished so pretend I can see the confusion I was like no we're a radio station he's like oh okay

because he's like I avoided you because oh there's a charity even worse than no, we're a radio station. He's like, oh, okay. Because he's like, I avoided you. I was like, oh, there's some charity people. Even worse than a charity. We're a radio station. There's some charity people coming in and they're doing something. They're going to sign me up for something or make me sponsor. I said, no, no, no.

And he, oh, great. He said, well, I would have interacted a lot more with you on the night had I known you're not a charity. So there we go. Out and about, we're not a charity. But if you do want to donate to us, we will take all money. Just text donate to 4487 and I'll send you my bank account number. You're essential listening for non-essential banter.

Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, James Corden, he hosts the Late Late Show. You've seen Carpool Karaoke, a very, very popular segment that he does on the show. He's such a happy, bubbly, lovable guy, doesn't he, on screen? He does. Don't we all? Yeah, don't we all, but on the show. Seems like such a happy, bubbly, lovable guy, doesn't he, on screen? He does. Don't we all? Yeah, don't we all behind the scenes? The stories I could tell you.

But a restaurateur came out last week and basically called James Corden a creditor of a man, said he frequents his restaurant and he's terrible to wait staff, mean to them, rude, obnoxious, and he's banned him from his restaurant. Now, Corden has since come out last night and explained the situation on his show. Now, in terms of a scandal, this is very low level. Yeah, you're right. There's a lot worse stuff going on in the world.

We know that. But this is what James Corden had to say. We sit down, we ordered, and my wife explained that she has a serious food allergy, right? So when everybody's meals came, my wife was given the food that she was allergic to. But no, she hadn't taken a bite of it or anything. No worries, we sent it back, all was good.

As her meal came wrong to the table the third time, in the heat of the moment, I made a sarcastic, rude comment, right? About cooking it myself. And it is a comment i deeply regret but here's the truth of it right because i didn't because i didn't shout or scream like i didn't get up out of my seat i didn't call anyone names or use derogatory language i've been walking around thinking that i hadn't done anything wrong, right? But the truth is, like I have, I made a rude comment,

and it was wrong. It was an unnecessary comment. It was ungracious. So he's apologised for making that comment. And he said he loves the restaurant, would go back, loves the staff if they will have him back, and that's what he said. But that's what happens when you mix up the menu.

Well, yeah. You cause yourself an issue. Don't you know? His wife didn't want the egg whites with the egg yolk. Well, sometimes people need it. Obviously, she's got a food allergy. Food allergy. I'm not saying you should.

It's probably difficult. Yeah, no. I'll eat it, but my skin will blow up. I will die and I won't be able to breathe. Yeah. But that was what a Kiwi would do. A Kiwi would not make a fuss. Just battle on.

Just battle on. A Kiwi would rather be rendered unconscious on the floor than make a complaint. So we thought today, what about when you mix up the menu as far as maybe there's additions that you make to menu items to make things better. Yeah. Maybe little tricks and things that you go, oh, you need to get this with that. A lot of people do it at takeaways. You know, you're big players.

The Colonel, the Ronalds of the world, the windows. 0800, the hits, 4487. What are, the windows. 0800 the hits 4487. What are you adding? How are you mixing up the menu? What are you adding to your meal? Maybe you could teach us. There was something we've been doing wrong this whole time. 0800 the hits is the telephone number 4487.

I know I've thrown a spanner in the works with our regular daily coffee order. Now, since Dr. Michael, Dr. Chris Warner, Dr. Chris Warner, Michael Galvin, the actor from Shortland Street, came in. He ordered a piccolo coffee months and months ago. I'd never heard of the piccolo. I said, what's the piccolo? He said, strong, tiny bit of milk, small cup. And I was like, okay, I'll try this the next day. And I've been ordering a piccolo ever since.

Well, in Auckland, in the comfort of Auckland you'd be ordering but every time we go around the country I'm like I look at you you're like I just flat white yeah

well I started I tried to we're in Taranaki and I was like can I have a pit I was getting flat white and you were like don't you dare

don't you besmirch the good name of John Orbit why are we making a James Corden sarcastic comment towards you okay so 800 that's

how are you mixing up the menu? You can text us to 4487 on New Zealand's Breakfast. That is a hit. You got Jono and Ben? They've got pranks. They've got puns. Now they just need some actual listeners. Jono and Ben on the hits. We're talking about mixing up the menu. I love

going with someone who knows, oh you need to add this little bit of mayo. You need to do this little thing to the menu just to make things just a little bit better. Yeah, well, James Corden and his wife tried to mix up the menu. For health reasons. For health reasons. It was life or death, literally life or death. The egg order was mixed up and he sent it back three times.

Now he's been labelled a little cretin. Wasn't it so funny? You know, he was the voice of Peter Rabbit. Wasn't they firing, like, blueberries into that guy's mouth? You know, he was allergic to them. It was funny then. You were laughing away then, weren't you, Gordon? You're laughing now, buddy.

Anyway, like we say, bigger issues in the world. But do you mix up the menu? Does it cause any issues? A lot of people like to add the old mayo to the cheeseburger at McDonald's, and that really does. I don't know why Ronald isn't already doing that on the menu, but that is a game changer, I find, for the McDonald's cheeseburger. Someone's texting 2B Humps.

What did they say? Sorry, producer Humphrey. Cheese and bacon to garlic bread. Cheese and bacon to garlic bread. Oh, John O. Wheelhouse. You just added something else to your wheelhouse. My arteries.

You're foreplaying with my arteries there. Everywhere we would go on the tour last week, the chip tour, you'd be like, garlic bread. First thing, you'd go to the restaurant. No one has garlic bread. They'd be like, it's a Japanese restaurant. You'd be like, just get a round of garlic bread for the table, mate. What, the Japanese don't like garlic bread?

Well, they should. Put it on the menu. We're at a Korean buffet. Get some garlic bread, mate. Okay, chuck it out. You wouldn't get a more boring white person food than garlic bread. You love it, don't you? Such a food bogan. Let's go to the phones.

How are you mixing up the menu? We've got Tash from Napier. Welcome. G'day, how's it going? We're doing well. What are you doing? Working in a school canteen. Oh, a school canteen.

The kids mixing up the order? Do they mix up the menu? Yeah. Yeah, not too much, though. Not too much. At the moment, the extent of it is probably barbecue sauce on the Hawaiian pizza. Oh, that's a lovely addition. Yeah, it does sound good.

It's okay, because it's just a squirt after it's been heated. It's okay. Nothing wrong with a quick squirt of the old barbecue sauce. Love me some sauce. All right Alright Tash, how are you mixing up the menu? It's usually bigger places I go to. I'll just add stuff that I like. Now

Producer Humphrey's saying McDonald's you like to make a change. Yeah. There's like not a whole lot of cheese on the Big Mac so I'd get a quarter pounder with cheese, add Big Mac sauce, extra pickles, and a steamed bun because, I don't know, the Filet-O-Fish has got it going on, but sometimes you just want meat. Oh, so you had the bun from the Filet-O-Fish on the meat burger,

the meat option. Okay, so you've got steamed buns on a quarter pounder with no lettuce, Big Mac sauce, and extra pickles. Yeah, and it's Max pickles, as many as they'll put on, which is as many as the manager will let them. Overload on pickles. Say, go beyond your manager, how sensible your manager is, and just add more pickles. Yeah, I've had a handful of pickles squished onto the top of my burger once. It was the best day of my life.

Oh, well, it actually sounds like a really good burger. But when you go in to order it, do you find that they were like, oh, here we go, but I guess they do it for you? Yeah, no, they're pretty good. I mean, if you use your manners and you're polite and you ask them how their day is, they will just about give you anything that you want. They'll do anything.

They'll do anything. They will give you mountain loads of free pickles. Thank you. Well, Tash, we'll let you get back to squirting that BBQ sauce on the Hawaiian pizza and go and have a great day. Thanks, you guys too. And don't forget, look after your ass. Bye. This is the Jono and Ben podcast.

Wall-to-wall talking without the niggly popular songs in between. Now we're looking for New Zealand's best voice, Skinny. We're friends of the show. Basically, if you can voice the ad that we were going to voice, we didn't realise it was a $5,000 fee for the voiceover. We've now handed that over to you, the fine people of this radio programme. So if you feel like you've got New Zealand's best voice or you know someone who does, you can nominate them.

You can text 4487 or visit the hits.co.nz. And they can win five grand by becoming the official voice of Skinny's radio ad on our show. Yeah, Skinny will do anything to keep prices low and customers happy. And that's great. Five grand. When we were in the States recently, we sat next to a lovely lady at a restaurant. Patty. Patty, yeah.

Patty. She was amazing. Her voice was incredible. You're like, it sounded like lovely lady at a restaurant, Patty. Patty, yeah. Patty, her voice was incredible. It sounded like something out of a cartoon. Yeah. Hi, boys. You should go out and find yourself a couple of ladies. Well, we're married, Patty. Oh, okay, then.

She was gorgeous, wasn't she, Patty? But let's go to the phones right now. Yesterday, we spoke to to Bruce who had the voice of 23 Velvety Curtains didn't he today Sarah good morning

good morning you're on the radio can you believe it the radio oh my goodness awesome childhood dream childhood dream

maybe maybe a bit of an adult one oh yeah one as well hey dream makers a lifetime dream hey

well yeah I don't know who's taking the piss here I'm not sure this is sarcastic or not Maybe a bit of an adult one. Oh, I know. One as well. Hey. Dream makers. A lifetime dream. Hey. Yeah. I don't know who's taking the piss here, how much of this is sarcastic or not. So I'll just keep rolling on. Now, we're looking for New Zealand's best voice, you know, to voice our commercial for Skinny. $5,000 is the fee if you are our voice that's selected. And apparently, you've got a great voice. Oh, well, possibly. It is a nice. It got a great voice. Oh, well, possibly.

It is a nice, it's a soothing voice. It doesn't sound like it's going to cause you any aggravation. It doesn't sound like you're a mean voice. Oh, well, it can quickly change. So, you know, it depends on what side you're on. All right, so carefully treed here. So are you nominating yourself, Sez? I am. And we understand a previous finalist in a vocal-based competition.

Yes. So earlier this year, there was a competition down here to voice the McDonald's drive-through for Tahuna McDonald's. Oh, I just heard an else in there. Yeah, yeah, and so I was selected. So you made one of the finalists to be the official voice of the drive-thru of Macca's. I won it. Oh, you won it?

I won it. It was my voice for three months. Oh, wow. So you were the voice. We're talking to the voice of the drive-thru. Yeah. The Tahuna McDonald's drive-thru. Give us an example.

Oh, okay. All right. Hang on. All right. Give me a minute. All right. Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order, please? Oh, that's good.

Is that not an actual person that does that? Is that recorded? Oh, I have no idea. I think they just did it as just something different to do, but I'm pretty sure it is pre-recorded normally, but yeah. And so did you do any follow-up lines? It was just, welcome to McDonald's. Can I take your order, please? Yeah, no, that was

it. Yeah. What did you get for that? Lifetime Supplier Maccas? Oh, I wish. No, I got a free meal. It was better than nothing. It was all good. Well, to be fair, there wasn't much voice work required. So probably a free meal was... One take and we were done. One and done. Well, you could be getting a whole lot more

than a free meal from us. $5,000. You're one of the finalists of the New Zealand Space Force. That would actually be awesome leading up to Christmas, obviously. Yeah, go towards presents, meat, a lot of meat. Maybe a little holiday. Ooh, nice, treat yourself. Now, we've sent you a script.

It's a little longer than the McDonald's one. Skinny have sent you a script. Let's give you, I've got you some soothing jazz to read along to. Yeah, I'm ready. This is Sarah, one of our finalists for Jono and Ben's Best Voice in New Zealand with Skinny. Take it away, Sarah.

The key price is low. Skinny has published radio scripts like this one across the country in the hope that normal people like me would record them on their mobiles for free, saving Skinny thousands that would otherwise have been spent on some expensive celebrity. Not only am I helping Kiwis save money by using Skinny's incredible mobile network, I'm also live on the radio auditioning for Jono and Ben's hunt for New Zealand's best voice. If Skinny were judging, the best voice would be the one that doesn't cost money. Get to Skinny.

Wow, and another one and done. You're just, you're a constant professional. No stumbling, nothing. Not like us. Yeah, so good. That would have taken us three quarters of an hour to read that thing. Oh, God. Now, I did try and register for a voiceover actor,

but because I don't live in a big city, I kind of got poo-pooed. Oh, really? Well, maybe this is the start. Maybe this is the start. You put this on your show reel if you win this, and away you'll go, you know, to be one of the great voices. Like, Jono, Jono, like me. Well, no, no.

Are you saying like me? We'll see where we're at in five years' time. Yeah. Hey, Sarah, good on you. You're a champion. Awesome. Thank you so much. That hits. Scrolling through your feed

Hey it's time for us to take a three minute vacation on a topical island Ben, what's happening in scrolling mate? Well Snoop Dogg, now it's been much publicised that Snoop Dogg's got You know, he loves his marijuana And he's got someone who's the official joint, a blunt roller Someone who just, all their job is to do is roll up joints for Snoop Dogg. Well, I can imagine, you know, he smokes a crazy amount per day. How many per day, like?

Well, yeah, so there's a new blunt roller that's been working for Snoop Dogg for a while now. She was just speaking to an Australian radio station. And she reckons she rolls between 75 to 150 joints a day for him. And if you're factoring that Snoop Dogg's a busy guy, if he's having to take time out and do that himself, I see why he needs a full-time FTE. So 450,000 joints, she reckons, in the time that she's been there, she's rolled for him and people that hang out with him.

And the salary, according to online, she makes around about, in New Zealand, somewhere between $70,000 to $87,000 a year. Which is pretty good. He said previously it was $40,000 to $50,000 US, but he had to increase it thanks to inflation. Yeah, cost of living. Hitting the blood rollers. Yeah, and it's pretty sweet. You get all expenses paid. You get free weed. Wherever Snoop Dogg as well. Hitting the blunt rollers. Yeah, and it's pretty sweet. You get all expenses paid.

You get free weed. Wherever Snoop Dogg goes, you get to go as well. Free clothes. You get some of that as well. I suppose anywhere in the world he goes, you would have to travel with him. Yeah, so pretty sweet gig, right? Stay in nice hotels. Sweet gig.

Well, you'd be good at it. I don't know. You can do it one-handed, can't you, mate? Oh, here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Give him 20 seconds. He'll give you a good time.

And Jacinda Ardern. All those jazz ciggies. We mentioned this before. You can do it one-handed, can't you, mate? Oh, here we go, here we go, here we go. Give him 20 seconds, he'll give you a good time. And Jacinda Ardern... All those jazz ciggies. We mentioned this before, Jacinda Ardern, she's off to Antarctica. Well, she tried to go to Antarctica yesterday. Yeah. Didn't quite work out. We sent her the photos. She's our Prime Minister.

The photos look bleak, and I know there's only probably one way to get to Antarctica, and it's inside a giant cargo plane. She's sitting there surrounded by food boxes, netting. There's no in-flight video. There's nothing. She's reading a book about Ernest Shackleton, who apparently she admires a lot, hugely. We're treating our Prime Minister like a package I ordered off ASOS. She's in the cargo hold.

Clark is sitting next to her as well. He's reading a book on illegal fishing as well. On illegal fishing? Yeah. You can see there's photos there sitting there. They've got headphones on but I also imagine they'll be noise cancelling because it'll be rattly and it'll be cold and it'll be just like

I bet that was probably the greatest day of her life when they're like we're going to turn this plane around and now they're like but we'll go back on day two and have another she'll be like when do we pull pin on this trip I'm sure it's amazing

when you get there it'd be incredible don't get me wrong take a private jet who cares about your carbon footprint you're the prime minister hoon in on a private jet

skid on the slopes and you'll make it into Antarctica it's a place I'd love to go it'd be amazing wouldn't it it would be incredible like not many people get to do it, so it would be incredible.

How long is it to fly there? Eight hours. Eight hours. Yeah. Yeah. She's the Prime Minister. Yeah. Can you imagine shoving Biden in a cargo hold?

It's probably not even a bathroom. It's probably like a bucket. Anyone look away? You know, like, what's the situation? Everyone, look away. You know, like, what's the situation? Everyone look away. Stop staring. That's what's making news this morning. But that's what you've got to love about New Zealand.

Yeah, that's right. We keep it real, don't we? Unless sometimes it's a little too real. Your chance to win $5,000 is just moments away. It is the hits you've got. Jono and Ben. The Jono and Ben podcast, available on iHeartRadio. Let's go. Jono and Ben., available on iHeartRadio. Let's go.

Jono and Ben, with five words for 5K. Stop any time to keep the cash. Thank you. Or play on to win more. It's our Game of Void Association. We play it every morning on the hits this morning. Thanks very much to Gas Petrol Service Stations for bringing you five words this morning.

And you've been rejuvenated with this game too after a lot of great street talk as we were touring the nation last week, Ben Boyce. A lot of people say they play by themselves in their car. Yeah, that wasn't long in the morning. Some people stop at work and they're still listening to this game to see how people go.

It's probably the most fulfilling game to play by yourself in your car. I Spy never works as a solo mission, does it? No, you're right. So let's get Regan on from Chich. How are you, Regan? I'm good, thanks. How are you?

You're good. How's the weather in the Garden City? Oh, it's absolutely glorious today. I had a discussion last week that I love the Garden City, don't get me wrong. It holds a very special place in my heart, but I didn't feel it had more gardens than any other city. We'll go on a garden tour next time, all right? Now, as we were leaving Christchurch last week, Regan,

we were driving up to the airport, Ben pointed out every garden. I was like, look, we're at Hadley Park. Oh, look, we're going past Motorvale. That's a garden. He was on a point-proving mission. This person's got a lovely garden. There we go, yeah. Have you got a garden, Regan?

I definitely have a garden. Another garden. Lavender. Yeah, full of lavender. Who do you want to send into the soundproof booth to try and match up five words with you? Ben, please. All right. Ben's off into the booth.

And what do you do for a job, Regan? I work as a dental assistant. Oh, okay. Yeah, flossing. How many times a week do I need to floss? Once a day. Okay. That's not what I wanted to hear.

Once a day. Reg that's not what I wanted to hear Once a day Regan, here we go Five words, your first word that comes into your head When I say Mickey Mouse That's right, 8 o'clock this morning too We're giving away a trip for four to Anaheim I know, I heard that

Prize of a lifetime, that one So you've got Mickey Mouse for the first word First aid is the second. Oh, I'd go course. I'd go course as well. Regan from Christchurch. Butcher. It's coming into that sweet noggin of yours when I say butcher.

Meat. Aviation. Word number four. Oh, that's a tricky one Oh I might come back to that one Please Let's go to word five which was desk Chair

Okay aviation What have you got there mate Aviation Pilot What would you go Listen I for some reason had Aviation Fuel, but I don't think he's much of a fuel guy.

I don't know why. Aviation Gin? Has Ryan Reynolds got Aviation Gin? But yeah, it's a tough word. I won't lie. Pilot's probably the best option, to be honest. Okay, we'll go with that. Let's get him out of the booth, Ben Boyce.

Regan played a stunning game. Exceptional. And now COVID is a thing of the past. It's safe for you to take words out of her mouth and put them into yours. Okay, let's do it. Five words if we match. You win $5,000. Word one, $25.

You've got no say as to whether we go to the $25 word. We just do it. We do it, yeah. We do it. You've got no choice. And that word, Ben, $25 word. We just do it. We do it, yeah. We do it. You've got no choice. And that word, Ben, is Mickey. Mouse. That's right.

Nine minutes away. Your chance to go to Disneyland. Bit of integration there. Oh, nice. I like it. That's what they call Ford selling there, Ben. Yeah, that's good. Word number two.

Would you like to jump ahead to the $50 word, Regan? Yes, please. Word two, $50. First aid. Of course. Oh, MG. $100 if you want to keep running through this race there, Regan. Yes, I think I'll go.

It is a tricky word, but keep going. Word three, $100. $100. You get this right. she wins $100. If you don't, walks away with nothing. Butcher. Meat. Regan.

Oh, I almost said the match. Match. Match. Butcher. The Garden City is coming alive with $100. Now, $500 is the next round, and you and me both know Regan in our heart of hearts. It's a toughie. It's a difficult word, Regan.

Oh, keep going. I'll definitely keep going because it's so much. $500. Alright. Gotta gamble, don't you? Okay. Here we go. It's how casinos stay in business. Yes. Aviation. Aviation. Fly? Alright Gotta gamble don't ya Okay here we go That's how casinos stay in business Yes Aviation Aviation

Fly? Oh You knew it was a tough word Regan I said it was a tough word Regan Hey I told you Regan What did she say? She said pilot

Oh yeah Which is another good one But a tough word as we said Word number five was desk No Office Three out of five Three out of five Regan hold your head high which is another good one but a tough word as we said word number five was desk no office three out of five Regan

hold your head high you go and dive into someone's mouth and fix them up have a great day in the dental surgery and thank you for listening oh thank you

you guys are amazing I've been watching you for years oh what nice to talk to you I'm sorry we didn't get you any money today but have another chance tomorrow morning

7.45. But as Jono said, in five minutes' time, just over five minutes' time, your chance to get in the drawer to go to Disneyland Anaheim and it's an amazing trip on the hits. Two semi-competent dads handing out semi-competent parenting advice. Jono and Ben on the hits. Not trying to be modest or anything like that,

but I'm not very good at many things. You know, like I can't pass on. I don't feel like I'm much help around the house sometimes. So when I do get a chance to help out. Well, you keep your hands. You wouldn't find a cleaner pair of hands in New Zealand. I do put gin, don't get me wrong, but I'm not like I'm skilled in multiple areas.

And so, you know, every now and again when the kids get something at school, then I'm like, oh, hey, I can help. This is in my sort of my sweet spot. I get involved. Was it telling the time and announcing a Harry Styles song? Yeah, pretty much. My daughter, you know, a couple of weeks ago for school

had to film a little something for a little project. So I'm like, great, I can help you with this one. And I don't know if you find as a parent, Jono, but when you do help out, you are a lot more invested in the results and the marks they get back than other times. Oh, boy, I know it firsthand. I was asked in as a high-profile celebrity judge for a school fashion show. Yeah.

I was the high-profile celebrity judge, by the way. And, jeez, you could really feel the pressure from the parents who had made the outfits so that the kids had nothing to do with. Yeah. So I kept, for days, I'd be like, to Indy, I'd be like, how did you go? Sorry be like how do we go how i mean how did you go sorry how not how did we go but how did you go in that you know did you get your video back what did the teacher say you know that sort of thing when's it when's it coming

back oh it's tomorrow it was tomorrow and you know what happened how did we go how did you go you know like you you want to know what they set a deadline they're not giving you the marks for another week yeah find out and then indy finally you know played the video came home and i was like what the teacher's saying she said it was uh you know played the video came home and I was like what did the teacher say and she said it was you know she said I went up up and away

and I was like up up and away what does that mean she goes I don't know she just said up up and away I was like that was what the teacher said

I can't figure is that a good thing or a bad thing oh that's what I was like I was like is this a good or bad she said I don't think it was good

she said you know she seemed really happy she said I went up up and away to me it sounds like she was on the up and then lost it at some point. And that's pretty much your career. And then I went away for a bit. And I was like trying to think about it. And I was like, up, up and away.

What would that be? Then I came back to India and I went, it wasn't above and beyond, was it? She goes, yeah, that was it. It was above and beyond. I was like, yes, that's what she said. I was like, well, it wasn't up, up and away. People are about to drive down to the school. Hey, lady, my project.

Why didn't you say it was up, up and away? It wasn't up, up and away. Above and beyond I can handle. So there you go. So that was the result. So you do get sayings, right? There was a guy we used to see, whatever floats your goat. And no one had the heart to tell him it's whatever floats your...

I suppose goats are... I've never seen them in water. I suppose they can. Well, if you need to get a goat across a water, maybe whatever floats your goat. But sometimes you get to the point where you mix yourself up so badly. Like there's one that's not rocket science. There's another guy I used to work with who used to go, it's not rocket surgery. And he would do it as a gag.

But he said it so many times it got into my head that I don't even know what the saying is now. Maybe it is rocket surgery. It's not brain science. If you're here for advice on life, you're in big trouble. Jono and Ben on the hits. I did mention that I overheard a conversation at the casino. Now, producer Humphrey came in and said, producer Behemoth, he's like,

you lead a lot of your stories with I heard this at the casino. The last couple of days, you've been nothing but casino-based content. But what you say, you're failing to mention that we actually park our cars there for work. Yeah. So I don't have a rampant gambling problem. That's Ben. He's the pokies fiend between the both of us.

But it was a conversation I overheard in the lift. And you're in a lift. You can't help but hear what's going on. And I walked into it and I felt this couple were here for frosty conditions. I could feel the frosty conditions as I was going down to the car park. And they were trying to have a whisper conversation with me in the lift. And I've obviously come through midway through. And he's said to her, just tell me what's wrong.

And she said, I don't know. You tell me what's wrong and she said I don't know you tell me which is the most frightening six words you can hear back when you answer that question isn't it I don't know you tell me which means everyone's been in this position which means yeah there's something wrong but there's going to be something even more

wrong if you can't tell me what is wrong right now have you been in that position before yeah this is the yeah it's a great play it is I don't know you tell me because then I right now. Have you been in that position before? Yeah, it's a great play. It is. I don't know, you tell me. Because then I go, when I'm in that situation, oh, jeez, I've probably done about seven things. You could start listing off everything,

incriminating yourself for multiple, multiple things. And it's a smart play, too, from the partner, throwing the ball back in your court. Was this what it was? No. But now I know about that. You're like, damn it. You know? that's it.

It's a smart play. I never got to enjoy the guessing game as it played out, but I thought that is just a conversation that everyone's been in the middle of in the past. How do you handle that situation, Ben? Yeah, no, not well. I like to know. I like to be across things.

The other theory you can employ is you go, oh, listen, I don't know, you walk away. And then you deal with a bit of silence for a few hours, then eventually it'll come out of the woodwork. Come out what the thing was. Yeah. And then you should go away, I reckon, too, and then formulate your response. Yes, you're right. Because in the moment, in the heat of it, you know,

the passion of the argument or the confrontation, I'm never good. I'm never good at coming up with stuff. And I throw myself under the bus. And then I walk away and I give myself 10 minutes and I'm like, prior, you should have said that. And then you want to come back in and pick it back up again. But it's very hard to pick it back up.

You know how you see this thing? One more thing on the conversation we have, just before we let it go, you're like, mate, why would he let it go? Why are you bringing it back up? Well, because you see this thing? One more thing on the conversation we have just before we let it go. You're like, mate, why would he let it go? Why are you bringing it back up? Well, because I thought it was a better point to say. No, we were, you know,

but anyway. With a long and extinguished career, Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, we need your help right now. We've got some Black Adam tickets up for grabs on our 100 Hits in Cinemas right now starring Dwayne The Rock Johnson.

Now, a bit of a contentious one happened yesterday now uh producer joel and i were we're doing a few things uh at work and it was around about lunchtime and there's not a time that you normally you know you don't eat lunch john i don't participate not for me so not for you i'll let you do your thing though yeah i'll sit happily and watch you yeah. Yeah, happily watch me eat. So, you know, things were going on at the time. We were hungry. And so I was like, hey, Joe, could you whip across the road to the subway and get us a couple of, you know, I'll pay. Get us a couple of six-inch subway sups.

No, not stretching out to the footlongs. Oh, I had $20. Yeah, so $20, which would get us two. So I was like, can you whip across there and get this? You know, bring it back. We'll have lunch. We'll keep on going and he's like yeah no worries he came back and i was like he came back with the six inch and gave it to me the one i wanted and then i was like oh did you eat yours already and this is where i bring in producer joe he was like oh no i didn't i wasn't aware this was going to be a read out on national radio yeah yeah so you didn't you didn't okay you

chose not to lunch no i didn't didn't. I already had lunch. I had lunch a half an hour before you asked that. I was one step ahead of the game. One step ahead of the lunch game? And one step ahead of me as well, because then you decided that he would, I was waiting for the $10 to be given back, the $10 change after the sub,

but this is when producer Joe was like, well, isn't that kind of mine? Because you were going to spend it on me anyway? Yeah, you were going to spend the money. You were going to spend the $10 on me the sub, but this is when producer Joel was like, well, isn't that kind of mine because you were going to spend it on me anyway? Yeah, you were going to spend the $10 on me anyway, weren't you? Well, I was happy to get the sub. Now, this is what I find really interesting. It is very contentious because, yes, Joel, in a court of law, you're correct. Ben put that money aside for a sandwich for you. That was your sandwich.

That was your sub. That was your sandwich. That was your sub. That was your sub. But there's something morally wrong with choosing, like not even flagging that you'd eaten lunch. No, I'm fine. But I will go across the road. He's already made the claim he's going to spend that money on me and then pocket it yourself.

I see where you're coming from. Closer to living, mate. Yeah, and I know, you know, $10. That's like power for the week. It is. But it's also like me going, hey, I'll give you a lift home, and you're like, no thanks, but I will take the $4.67 in petrol you were going to use on me.

It's the same thing. But I do kind of see where he's coming from. I had given away that $10 to him for his lunch, but at the same time I felt a little bit like, oh, okay, okay. It's a great play that could probably earn you another $20 to $30 a day in the office, just going around and, you know, coffee's coffee time. Hey, go grab us some coffee. Yeah, no worries, mate.

I'll do this. Bars on a Friday night. Fridays. I'll get, you know, give me the money, I'll get the round. Where's your drink? Oh, no, I didn't give you one, but I'll take the money. I'll just pocket it in the bank. It's a full-time salary.

But this is what we want to chuck open. Can you do it? Oh, 800 the hits. If someone said, hey, I'll shout something, go and grab it, you don't buy the item for yourself, but you keep the money. Yeah. I now look like the biggest tight-ass New Zealand on national radio. I said, thanks.

You're welcome. I'm never doing it again. Hey, it's fine. You did offer to give me the money back, and I was like, oh, no, it's fine. But we just thought it was an interesting debate. You know, is it the money I'd already given away? Listen, he's done the ram raid, but he's somehow managed not to smash a car through the front door.

Well done. Experts in giving out inexpert advice. Jono and Ben on the hits. Trying to get your help on 0800THEHITS. We've got some Black Adam tickets up for grabs if you give us a call right now to help out with the little contentious situation that happened yesterday.

Just quickly, Producer Joel kindly offered to whip across the road and grab us um some lunch while we were working on something i was like oh here's 20 bucks get us a couple of six inch subs from subway stipulated the inchage well you knew what you could afford you know 20 bucks for a wallet that's one for you one for me uh go get that come back he came back with my sub not one for him and then he was like well you're going to spend that money anyway Technically You know He's right

Technically he's correct Morally it's an interesting position To put himself in He's taking that money Yeah he's taking the money And he did offer later To give it back He's not yet

Just a reminder to never do anything Because I know it'll be red out of air I'm never having lunch here again Sorry guys It was a good deed It was a good deed So you are right You are right Joel

You are right Joel But can you do it It's just It's a difficult one. It was a good deed. So you are right. You are right, Joel. You are right, Joel. But can you do it? It's just a difficult one, isn't it, Donna, from Nelson? What are your thoughts on it? Does Joel give the money back or keep it? It's different money, though. That is so sly. It depends on the person.

Oh, I can't hear you, Donna. Everybody works hard for their money. Yeah. But it's wrong. It's wrong. It's wrong. Sorry, I'm just piecing together what you're saying there with the phone. Did you say Ben works hard for his money?

Is that what I was hearing? I think she said everyone works hard for their money, and I was part of everyone. Even Ben works hard? Do you know what we do for a job, Donna? We work hard. Okay, so give the money back. That's Donna's thoughts on Nelson. There we go.

We'll get Kendall on from Taranaki. Good morning, Kendall. Good morning. In agreement, I think giving it back. But it is great that he offered it still. But if it was me, I would have given it back or said, oh, I've had lunch, but I'm still happy to go get it for you. So, Kendall, you don't know how much they're paying me around here.

It's bleak. It's grim times. I changed my mind. You take it. Oh, you've turned Kendall. much they're paying me around here. It's bleak. It's grim times. I changed my mind. You take it. Oh, you've turned Kendall. That's a week's wages for Joel. $10. And Kendall, can we all agree how hard Ben works for his money too?

I hear some good laughs in the morning, so it must be pretty fun at least. Yeah, sometimes I work. Those laughs, to be honest, they're a little forced sometimes. I'm having a do in my money. Good on you, mate. Appreciate that. It looks like a clean money. Hey, good on you, mate. Appreciate that. It looks like a clean sweep. Caitlin, where are we going?

Are we giving the money back or is he keeping it? That's what I love about Caitlin. Free-flowing banter. Oh, sorry. Hi. That's all right, Caitlin. I'm sorry. Yeah, so I want to preface this by saying I understand Joel's point of view.

And in this economy, you know, you've got to take what you're given. Cost of living. However, I see it like when you're a kid and your mom gives you money and says, go to the dairy, get some bread and like, I don't know, grab a lollipop as well. You're like, cool. You do that. You come back. You give the money back to mom. You don't know, grab a lollipop as well. You're like, cool. You do that. You come back. You give the money back to mum.

You don't put it in your piggy bank. At least I hope you do. At least that's what I did. I've got a family to look after, Caitlin, seriously. What's family? Pets, kids. Yeah, we've got pets and kids. Wives.

He's got them all. Well, there you go, Caitlin. I'm sorry, Joel. Usually in radio we try and get the other side of the argument, but no one phoned through the back yard. We're going to give everyone that phoned up some tickets to Black Adam. We really appreciate that.

The Hits. For more podcasts from The Hits Network, check out iHeartRadio.co.nz.