Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: The Most Romantic Songs That Are Actually Really Creepy!

Episode Date: June 29, 2021

Aucklanders, all you'll be hearing about today is how cold it is. Non-Aucklanders, all you'll be hearing about today is how Aucklanders think 2 degrees is cold. Regardless of where you are though, talking about how cold it is can be the easiest small talk there is! So we tested this out with our COLD CALLING, to see how long we could banter with someone just talking about the temperature. We also delved into the lyrics of some of the most beautiful and romantic songs. But it's not until you sing it with creepy music in the background, that you actually realise how creepy some of these lyrics are! All that and more on today's poddy! Enjoy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome to the podcast, Wednesday the 30th of June. A very poignant date. Not for the day that it is. Because previously on Jono and Ben's inane rambling podcast intro, Ben, you raised this issue. I was just going to say, do you think you saying the date and stuff is like when you get a message from your parents on the phone and they're like, it's Sunday at 3.45 you know, you're like, clearly

the message has told me that. I feel like maybe we've slipped into boomer territory during the date. So that was previously on the podcast intro. Yeah. Now you said the only person that you saw any benefit of the date being handed out would be for Aaron, our production engineer who compiles

the podcast. Yes, I did. I thought our production engineer, who compiles the podcast. Yes, I did. I thought that maybe it was handy for him. Yeah. And you requested feedback from the audience and from Aaron. People could reach out, open line of communication. We've got an open door policy on this podcast intro.

The door shuts firmly as soon as we finish the intro, though. And what's the feedback? Well, we've only got something from Aaron and Aaron said that helps him. So please keep doing it. Yeah, great. So what's the feedback? Well, we've only got something from Aaron and Aaron said that it helps him so please keep doing it. Yeah, great. So that's from him. He said it's pretty much the only useful thing you do. Yeah. So I mean, if it helps out Aaron, it helps out Aaron.

In our entire job, it's the only useful thing we do. Sometimes, once every fortnight I might spray and wipe the bench that would fall within the useful category, wouldn't it? Yeah. Yeah. I guess so. It's not his bench, but this bench in here.

We do other useful things. What's the most useful thing you think you do around the workplace, Ben? Around the workplace? Non-job related. Just something you've gone, well, that's useful. Oh, God. We're putting it on the spot there. Not for actually on the radio show? Yeah.

Not for yourself. Not for your job. I don't know. What useful stuff would you do? Yeah, not for yourself, not for your job. I don't know. What useful stuff would you do? Open the door for someone. That's nice. You are a good door opener. Yeah, you get in there, mate.

You get in there. It also delays you from getting back into work a bit longer too. So again, it goes round to... Yeah. The other day, we were talking about this. Sometimes you are too polite that it turns into a passive-aggressive situation where you have two people coming in opposite directions into a doorway, but you're both wanting to let each other through.

You know? That's right, and you sit there for a long time. In fact, we've got a little video on our social media that's coming out today. Yeah, we turned that conversation into a video. Yeah, because sometimes you're there for ages. You go, you go, you go, and no one wants to be the one that goes. But then, you know, politeness quickly turns into aggression, doesn't it?

Yeah. Either party wanting to win. Yeah, exactly. Out polite the other party. Are you a polite person in public? I try to be. Yeah? Try to be.

You let people, you hold doors, let people in? Try to be as much as you can. Okay, what if you're in a rush at the supermarket and you're about to go and you've only got, you know, 14 to 21 items in your trolley and you see a stressed out mother. Trolley is packed to the gunnels.

Oh, no, it's one of those kids should let them, yeah, let them through. And she's like, I've just got to go, I've got to go, I've got a management appointment that I need to make at home.

Oh, you would do it. I've just picked the kids up. I'd probably let them through. I'd like to think I'd let them through. But in this scenario, you've also got an appointment. Well, yeah, I was going to say, but that's provided on me being free. But you're not. You've got a Pilates class you need to get to.

Are you letting her through? Oh, Pilates. No, I can get a bit late to Pilates. It's all right. I'll let her through. But yeah, that's probably why there's those situations sometimes where you do, you're like, well, I am also in a rush and they're in a rush.

But yeah, so that's tough. Yeah, yeah. Nothing worse than being in a rush. You don't like it, do you? You're always 15 minutes early. Yeah, I'm so much less stressed when you're there early. Like, you know, like I don't understand why, you know, unless things happen out of your control, but, you know,

then you don't have to be in a stress. I'd rather be at the airport two hours early than, you know, than 10 minutes late. Oh, you're like my parents. If they've got a flight at 3 o'clock, drop them off at 8am. Like, I don't try and be two hours early, but I like the whole thing. I'm part of, you know, it's all just, you know,

it's much easier for you. Yeah, yeah. People operate in different ways. Yeah, they do. That's the great thing about humans. You know, sometimes you let them through the door. Other times, like, we're walking across the road, yeah yeah that's people operate in different ways that's the great thing about humans you know sometimes you let them through the door yeah other times like we're walking across the road we walk and sometimes we walk with rachel jackson lees we park in the same building she's like john just

walks across all the roads i get quite scared because he just walks he won't wait for anyone he won't wait at the crossing like can we cross now that's the house i know that's john i hear what she's like oh this car's coming he'llHare. She's like, oh, this car's coming. It'll just keep walking. She's like, oh, I'm trying to walk in with you. Well, I got exposed for jaywalking. You did, yeah. In a smutty piece of journalism on 7 Sharp. You did. It was an undercover operation, and they caught me jaywalking.

Yeah. Which is still illegal in New Zealand. Oh, yeah. I don't know what it was. Everyone does it. Yeah, yeah. You're right. It's not selling drugs. Apparently that's illegal. Oh, yeah. You're right. It's not selling drugs.

Apparently that's illegal. Hell yeah, it is. Everyone's doing it, though. Hey, enjoy the potty. Have a great Wednesday. We'll catch you tomorrow. Hey, this week we've got Callum Scott joining us on the show. Now, you'll know Callum Scott from this song.

I'm in the corner watching you kiss her. And I just got, I was watching that video yesterday in preparation for our conversation with Callum Scott. Amazing voice, eh? Beautiful voice. And the song is, you know, beautifully sung. It's a heart warmer, isn't it? Melts your heart. The cold cockles of your polar blasted heart right now.

But the more I listen to the song, the more I'm like, it's one of those songs that in context, this sounds beautiful. I'm in the corner watching you kiss her. You know, but just change the music and the tone. I'm in the corner and I'm watching you kiss her. now you're made you've turned what is a beautiful song or something that's the thing it's all context yeah isn't there's many like we just go blindly that's all the way they sing it i mean obviously they can't do is the way that they want you to kind of interpret it james blunt's champagne this song this song you're beautiful

yeah would be many couples songs many people would have walked down the aisle to this. And there's a beautiful little passage. Now I know where you're going with it. She smiled at me at the subway. Yeah, she was with another man. But I'm not going to lose no sleep on that because I've hatched a plan. Yeah, well, you said a plan.

It makes it a lot more creepy. Ed Sheeran. We love Ed Sheeran. Don't do Ed Sheeran like this. You should see the way the light dances up your head. A million colours of hazel, golden and red. Yeah, so this is great. But he doesn't stipulate whether he's in the room with this person or if he's looking through a window.

You should see the way the light shines off your head. Saturday morning, it's fading. There's coffee in your hand. It does sound like, when you say it like that, it does sound like he's looking through a window going, Oh, yeah. Staring at someone else. Yeah.

So it was just like, enjoy the songs. Hey, I don't want to ruin the songs for you. You clearly have. Have I ruined all those songs yet? A little bit. If it wasn't for you now, I'd you. Well, you have. You clearly have. Have I ruined all those songs for you? A little bit. It wasn't the point of it. Now I'll be like, oh, okay. Broadcasting live.

And mostly awake. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast. On the hit. Of course, New Zealand has been hit by a bit of a polar blast over the last couple of days with some freezing temperatures all over the country. Snow, low level across New Zealand, closed roads, grounded flights. It's really cold

oh yeah it's zeroing in on the negative though but a polar blast of this nature does bring many positives as well being one i find is the free-flowing conversation that can come with complete strangers just purely based on the weather you love your light banter you just love bantering to anyone yeah some months some days and weeks days and weeks, you know, there's some, you know, it's hard to light banter. There's no topics to hook into. The pandemic was spectacular for light banter. Not great for the world, but yeah.

But the 1pm press conferences, what are they going to say? What are they going to, oh, I reckon we're going to be, you know, that was five minutes of easy banter. Well, you said before, you know, there's probably three to four minutes of light banter just around the weather alone. Everyone wants to talk about the weather, is what you were saying. Yeah, I mean, you've before, there's probably three to four minutes of light banter just around the weather alone.

Everyone wants to talk about the weather is what you were saying. Yeah, I mean, you've got a little bit that you want to give me. I've got a little bit I want to give you. We can both ask questions. There's different little branches we can go off into. I didn't know it was snowing in the Bay of Plenty yesterday. Met Cal outside school yesterday. He's like, snowing in the Bay of Plenty.

Oh, when was the last time that happened, you know? I've never thought. All right, well, let's put you to the test. We're going to call a number at random, maybe a service station down the country where it is cold, and we'll see how long you can just have weather-based banter before the conversation sort of turns to something else. Maybe they've had enough and they want to talk about something else.

Also, we'll see how long you can just keep going. Okay. All right. Wish me luck. I might just start with, like, Oh, bloody cold, eh? Pardon, Thomas Rivers Bloody cold, eh?

Oh, not bad Yeah How you going? Not bad How's the cold? Oh, it's fine I can work on it, it's fine Yeah, okay

Alright then, have a good day Hang on, you can't I'm coming in here Yeah, it's fine. Yeah, okay. Good. All right, then. Have a good day. Hang on. You can't. I'm coming in here. It's John Owen being called in for the Hits radio station. Okay.

We're having cold banter, and I was just saying how great it is that you can have free-flowing banter with a complete stranger about the weather, and you've done the complete opposite. Yeah, you didn't seem like you're like, that's not bad. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. I like the cold. It's perfect. Yeah, see, we should have called the South Island.

So this is the problem. They answer with one word. Yeah. You know. This is your game. You're like, I can talk to anyone in New Zealand about the cold, and they didn't. Well, it turns out I can't talk to people from Dunedin about the cold. Hey, hold the line, buddy.

We want to send you out some hell pizza, all right? Good. Cheers. You can try the new, buddy. We want to send you out some hell pizza, all right? Good. Cheers. You can try the new smoky brisket pizza. It's loaded with smoked brisket, smoked cheddar, and onion rings

right now at Hell Pizza. Okay, Ben. You'll go now. Oh, I'm having a go, like? Yeah. Mine didn't quite turn out as I expected. Okay.

Yeah. Okay, I'll give it a go. I mean, which, in hindsight, it's a positive thing. Otherwise, you might have just had seven minutes of non-stop weather banter. Well, true. So it which In hindsight It's a positive thing Otherwise you might have Just had seven minutes Of non-stop weather banter

Well true So it ended quickly That's a positive Okay so just talk about the weather I don't really have weather I'm not Okay alright I don't really

What do you mean You're not I'm not much of a talker You literally talk for a job I know I do But I'm just Light banter Your whole radio show

Is just light banter That's true Alright So we're going to go through To BP Taupo Which we've been to many times. It's opposite the resort that we stayed in. Wairake. Yeah.

Good luck. Timer starts as soon as they answer, okay? Free-flowing cold weather banter on its way. Well, it wasn't free-flowing before. No, it was very stilted. Fumbly. Good morning, Mel speaking. Oh, how cold is it, Mel?

I know, it's freezing. Just give me two seconds. Uh-oh. Oh, we're out. We're out. She went cold on you. These are one of these things where we're like, this is a thing, it happens.

People do it. But they obviously... Two examples we've got. All right, well, we can move on with this show. Shall we? We'll leave Mel to get on with the happens. People do it. But they obviously... The two examples we've got. Alright, well we can move on. Sure, we'll leave Mel to get on with the day. Mel sounds busy. Real Kiwi blokes with soy lattes. Mmm.

Shono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. Now we're crossing to John. Now he listens to the show on iHeartRadio in Portland in the United States of America. Yeah, how you going over there, John? I am sweltering in 45 degree heat. 45!

Jeez! We are literally the opposite. There's parts of the country that are sitting in minus 5. Yeah, I heard about that. What do you do in 45 degrees? Can you go outside? The neighbours have a pool, and the AC in the basement is keeping it at a cool 18 degrees.

Oh, just looking online, Seattle, Portland and other cities around America broke the all-time heat records over the weekend. Yeah, all-time was, well, it was 107 Fahrenheit, which I think is 38 or something like that. And yeah, today, currently 44 heading to 45. Wow. Breaking all-time records. Congratulations to you and the fine people of Oregon. Yeah, it's brutal. It is brutal.

Yeah, look at this. It's sort of a power cable being basically burnt by the heat. Like, yeah, it's just too much. Jeez. Your jandals. Do you wear jandals over there? I do. I got the classic Para Rubber black and blue specials. Oh, I love them.

They'd be melting to the concrete. Yeah, yeah. I don't go out on the concrete. I go out on the grass. I've been hosing down the chickens every hour or so. Hosing down the chickens. It's not a euphemism. Because I think Ben's been doing the same.

Not every hour, though. There's a lot of chickens to hose down. I can do it every hour. Anyway, before you go off and hose some more chickens, the reason I want to get you on, because John, he keeps in contact regularly over email. And I had a great topic. Like, John comes up with so many great phone topics for this program. You probably should be on the payroll, to be honest, but you're too busy hosing your chickens. So, what were you thinking, John comes up with so many great phone topics for this program. You probably should be on the payroll, to be honest,

but you're too busy hosing your chickens. So what were you thinking, John? Well, I heard you struggling the other day trying to say you might want to alter microscopic silicovolcano carneosis. And I thought I'd help you out with that and ask what other people had memorized. So what was this word from? It's kind of a made-up disease that you get from inhaling volcanic silica dust. And what is the word again?

Pneumono-ultra-microscopic silico-volcano-carniosis. Now this is the longest word in the world. So why do you know this? Why did you learn it? I think I learned it. Like, I read about it in a book when I was like eight years old, and I thought, well, I'll learn to say that. And if you break it up into smaller words, it's actually a pretty easy one. So it's 45 letters long.

And how often would you get to use it in day-to-day conversation? You know, it probably comes out about once a year if I've had a couple at a party. Yeah, I mean, it's great. Yeah, true. And great for radio bits as well. Yeah, you're right. It's like a party track. Are there any other long words you've memorised, John? Well, every time I'm down in the

down near Poronga I'll swing by Now this is the longest place name in the world, which is in New Zealand. Yeah. That is impressive. There's a big sign there. I mean, I learned them 30 years ago and they're still there. Do you ever forget day-to-day stuff because those things are clogging up your brain?

I don't know. Who am I speaking with again? Yeah, don't be. He's got some chickens to host soon. He does. We don't want him forgetting that. John, that is impressive. So you wanted to throw the challenge out there this morning, didn't you, on 0800 The Hits?

Yeah, I'm curious. What if anybody's memorized anything even more insane than that? Yeah, I'm curious if anybody's memorised anything even more insane than that. Well, Ben's actually got quite a good one I want you to get to do next. Yeah, I did, but I wonder if it's still in my head. We'll find out as well. It involves McDonald's. Yeah, it does, it does. And

all of the Hamburglar's crimes. Yeah, there's a long list guys. But what have you learnt? Like John, what is the one thing you memorized uh and would love to hear from you uh give us a call oh 800 the hits maybe it's a scene from a movie uh maybe it's you can do the alphabet backwards that always amazes me when people can do that yeah maybe you can uh no no i've got nothing else you guys are good great they were good examples what has stuck to memory I think if you learn things as a child,

they're etched in there. As an adult, it's hard. You learnt the Rubik's Cube as an adult, and you're like, this is the most painful thing I've had to do. Totally, because your brain's, I don't know, you don't seem to be learning as much as an adult.

Because you've got boundaries. You put up walls. You're like, this is too hard. This is going to take too much time. I stuck with it and got there, but I didn't feel like I picked it up as fast as I would have picked up if i was 18 years old maybe if we all thought like children the world would be probably a disorganized disorganized but a little bit a lot of fun now producer juliet where you were just saying before you pretty much learned all the

states when you were little well this was actually not when i was little i was at university in my spare time i'm such a nerd um do you do at university in my spare time. I'm such a nerd. Nerd. How dare you do extra learning? In my spare time, I was like, I want to learn all the states in America. That's what a nerd would say. So I'm probably a bit rusty now. Oh, gosh.

Okay, should I list them off? Oh, not all of them. How many are there? There's 50 of them. There's 50. I probably can't remember all 50. Do enough that we'd be convinced. Yeah, that's all we want. California, Illinois, Ohio, New York, New Jersey, New Hampshire, Maine, North Dakota,

South Dakota, North Carolina, South Carolina, Florida, Mississippi, Arkansas, Kansas, Wyoming, Utah, New Mexico, Colorado, Montana. It's very impressive. It is very impressive. That's really good. Sorry, I don't know if I'm going to do it. No, it's really good. I could have actually kept going, but I just know don't know No that was really good I could have actually Kept going

But I just know It would make for Boring radio But I could have Off air We'll listen to you Say the rest Maybe we should

Put some of these On SciShow Because you can Remember like a rap That we had to learn For our Yeah this was a This was a punishment

Bestowed upon us By the Edge radio station Where we were locked In a room That's right And they were like You need to learn All the lyrics

To Eminem's Without me to be released from this room. So I said, well, I'll take the first verse. And then you took the second verse. And I'll censor it for the hits audience. This is the part where he's like, Obi Trice, you know, two trailer park boys. Guess who's back? Righty, righty, rah. I'm back.

Shady's back. Righty, righty righty rah then he uh he turns his snare up and goes guess oh no this is guess who's back okay well yeah anyway i can't do without the music i've created a monster nobody wants to see marshall no more they want shady i'm chopped liver well if it's shady then this is what i'll give you a little bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor some vodka that'll jump start your heart quicker Than a doctor on the operating table When I'm not cooperating I know, oh then there's the Miss Chaney one

I know you've got a job to do Miss Chaney Even if it doesn't go in concert Oh hang on, then there's the bit there He makes it flow from one thing to the other And then he goes, oh the FCC won't let me be So let me be me Alright, who's on the phone? Let's get to it Katrina, welcome, how are you? Good? Who's on the phone? Yeah, we'll go to Katrina.

Welcome. How are you? Good to have you on from New Plymouth. What have you memorized? Hi, I can do the alphabet backwards. Oh! I was just talking about how I always find that really impressive. Can we hear it?

What if she's like, no? Take my word for it. How dare you ask me? Just a disclaimer, I'm purposely doing this so that I can get my kids out of bed this morning. Hi, Jaden and Jana. Hi, Jaden and Jana. Get out of bed. Mum's doing the alphabet backwards. It's an unorthodox

wake up, but here we go. Okay, go. Okay. Z-Y-X-W-V-U-T-S-R-Q-E-P-O-N-M-L-K-J-I-H-E-F-E-R-G-E-B-A. Oh! That was quick. That was really quick. I was like, oh, we'll have another 30 seconds or something. Did we slow it down? No. That was beautiful, though.

Thank you for that. It's awesome. How long did it take you to learn? It was actually part of a school play. Oh, right. On stage, the pressure of a live audience. All you'd be thinking for the whole play was, oh, I've got to do the alphabet backwards at some stage.

You forget half the other lines, but that's really impressive. Shannon's off of Christchurch. Morena, Shannon, what have you memorised? Morning, guys. Hey, what have you memorised, matey? Hey, look, about 20 years ago, the old tip-top popsicle had half its barcode down one end of the wrapper, the other half down the next end. They had to punch it in manually for a few months.

So here it goes. It's 9414 932 270614. Haven't had to use it ever since, but it's locked in there. Well, it's paying dividends now, mate. It's a barcode. I love it. But from a popsicle from years ago.

You got the barcode for that? Do I need to use it for anything? No, but it's in there. Oh, look, sometimes I punch it in the till just to make sure I actually have still to remember it. Just for old times' sake. Good on you, Shannon. I love it.

I love it. We'll get Jane on from Wellington. Morning to Jane. What have you memorised? It's another nerdy one. It's pi. Oh, nerds. So many nerds on this segment.

I love it. Oh, so that's the number that reoccur. Yeah, I mean's Pi. Oh, nerds. So many nerds on this segment. I love it. Oh, so that's the number that reoccurred. Yeah, I mean, Pi. Okay, what is it? 3.14159265359. Oh, that's impressive. And then it just keeps going, doesn't it? There's a longer version.

It does keep going, but that's all I remember. That's impressive. That's impressive. She only remembered, like, nine numbers. You're quite good with telephone numbers, aren't you too? Better than Eminem raps. It started 3, 7, 4 and then it went to the 9, 8, the number. That's how you remember them.

Just like your raps. Yeah, for some reason I've got numbers of all of New Zealand's favourite crap liberties stored in my head. We tested it a while ago and some of these numbers still exist. They still exist? Cell phone numbers. I mean, if you wanted to get hold of, you know, Gareth and Dan from Season 2 of The Block and you didn't have a contact list, well,

you come to me. I'll send you their way. But if you want a popsicle barcode, you know where to go, right? Yeah. But if you also want a shaky Eminem performance, you can also come to me. They're proud of New Zealand. Go New Zealand! If only New Zealand was proud of them. Jono and Ben.

New Zealand's breakfast. On the hits. Kids, they're so smart. They're so good with technology these days. Tell me about it. Juliet's trying to teach me how to use Instagram. It is so funny. It is the highlight of my day when you ask me the simplest question.

How do I do this thing again and then you post something i'm like okay shall i check instagram to see if you've done it right and she's like you did it oh yeah next time maybe don't crop it so much she can say oh okay yeah and then she was like i was scrolling through your instagram the other day and then you had handwritten something and i was like oh classic boomer yeah so but the kids they know what they're doing that's the thing that's the thing there's a couple of times i've noticed recently yeah with my kids in particular like on my computer i've got like a fingerprint this is not really the kids know anything but i've got a fingerprint thing you can open against basically instead of putting a password and you just put

your fingerprint oh wow it's like a mission impossible movie which is quite a nice little function but it works on my one of my daughters she just put a finger have we got the same thing she's like yeah or if it's just like a thing that doesn't actually work that i think it works but anyway she's it seems like apple wouldn't have nailed the fingerprint technology they're just saying it's like you put any finger on this thing and it probably will come through yeah well maybe that's got me questioning it now it sounds great when you tell me about fingerprint only my fingerprint will access that and they're like well no it just put, yeah. I'm the same with voice automation.

Yeah. At the moment. We haven't quite nailed voice automation. No. It seems like a chapter in voice automation history that in 10 years' time, they'll be laughing at us. Like we laughed at the fax machine on Friday. That's so true.

You're right. Yeah, well, it was actually affecting me yesterday because I'd ordered something online and I'd missed the package arriving. And then then so i was like i'll call the number so i was calling it to try and get it recent and i was doing it the mistake i made was i was doing it over my you know my hands-free kit in the car so i was there with my kids and i went through all the options it was like if you'd like to go speak to someone at reception say reception if you'd like to inquire about a package that package at any stage if you want to say in this call say goodbye as soon as they said this the kids would

just go goodbye and it would just hang up we'll go oh hey a great joke guys i'm just going to go through and try and get the thing but before i could say reception or whatever they just go goodbye from another stage you're like oh this is this is going to happen again this happened three times why isn't the option to end the call just hanging hanging why do you just say goodbye i know that's what i thought as well i mean it was quite handy in a hands-free situation handy in pranking sense yeah but i was like you can yell over stuff from someone else as soon as you go welcome to that they go goodbye and it just hangs straight back up you're like yeah yeah that's the but that's and usually when they change stuff on your phones, like my son changed it to Korean mode. And there's no way out of Korean mode.

Unless you travel to Korea. Well, you've got to find the language to change it back to English. So he changed, like, the language on your phone to Korean. To Korean, yeah. Oh, my goodness. It's a great place. And I was saying, Angyeonghaseyo to many people.

But that's all I could say. They just kept saying, hello, hello. And they're like, what do you want? Like, I don't know, I can't unlock my phone. Yeah, but the old voice automation is just generally a bit ropey. It'll bring future generations

a lot of happiness. Which ironically, if I'd said that into voice automation, it would say, it'll bring future farmers a lot of syphilis. We're calling every town

and city in New Zealand. We're doing it a little bit slower than we initially first planned, but we're getting there Zealand We're calling every town and city in New Zealand We're doing it a little bit slower than we initially first planned But we're getting there We're getting there We're doing it alphabetically Yeah that's right We started with a hiss and a roar We did it every day at one stage

And then we buttoned off a little bit And we were like oh we should do it twice a week And now we're like we should do it weekly And now we're doing it You know we do it We get there But you know actually our ulterior motive is Because we said the hits can't fire us as long as we're doing this Because we'll, we do it. We get there when we get there. But, you know, actually our ulterior motive is because we said the hits can't fire us

as long as we're doing this because we'll say, well, we haven't completed Calling Every Town. We'll just space out the gaps and it drags out the whole campaign. Well, now because we're at M, which is around about halfway alphabetically. So you do. You're right. We can process out for another five, I reckon. Just to slow things down.

And we have. And today we're going to Milton, which is in the deep south. Yeah, it's a town of 2,000 located 50 kilometres from Dunedin, or 9,622 kilometres from Bangkok, Thailand, if you're interested. Oh, that's good to know. And we did know it was the birthplace of News Hub newsreader Samantha Hayes, and we always look for a celebrity angle when we phone these towns, don't we? Yeah, yeah, she grew up there, Samantha Hayes from News Hub, and so we gave her a call yesterday. We still had her number from TV3, and we're like, will she answer a blocked number? Well, she did.

Hello. Samantha Hayes. Hi. This is John Owen Bean calling. Your old mate's John Owen Bean calling. Uh-oh. Why did you answer a blocked call? This was a fatal call. Very good question This is what you're asking yourself

Fatal error on Samantha's part The next room news hub comes up with a blocked call So I thought, ah, it's work Oh, it's not, it's our work She thought it was work So we were like, great, we've got Sam Hayes We're going to be able to talk to her about Milton But then we found out that her phone coverage

At home was terrible and we asked her about what to do in Milton and this is what she had to say What's one thing we should do if we go to Milton? And you're like, that's the best thing to do in the town Now, I'm going to put that down to either bad reception or the fact that Samantha Hayes didn't want to talk to us

And is really good at making that sound effect with her mouth Convincing performance from Hayes there So then we pulled out Yeah we were like oh well thanks, thanks I don't know if you can hear us but thanks We're going to need to ring someone else in Milton And we did So we're going to head through to I think a bakery

Hopefully they're up at this hour. Forum Cafe, Reuben speaking. G'day, Reuben. It's Jono and Ben here from the Hits radio station. Sorry to call you at this early hour. That's all good. No worries. You sound full noise.

I can tell there's a lot of activity going on there. What are you doing? Yep, yep. Heading up some cheese rolls. Oh, the South Island sushi they call it. Oh yeah, yep, Southland sushi, yep.

Southland sushi, sorry. A great recipe for a heart attack as well, a cheese roll. It is, isn't it? All the good stuff.

What's the secret for your cheese roll, Reuben? Oh, well, you've got to find the right cheese for a start. To be honest,

there's not much to them, you know, it's cheese and onion and, you know, good white not much to them You know, a bit of cheese and onion And, you know, good white bread has to be white bread Not brown bread Right That sucks Ben, Ben Boy's not a fan of the white bread loaf, are you?

Well, I do enjoy it But it's not a day-to-day thing for me Now, Reuben We're phoning every town and city in Aotearoa Oh, Jesus Yeah, we're doing it, you know, sort of daily So it's not all in one hit. No, but today we got to Milton

and apart from wonderful cheese rolls, what is there to do in Milton? Oh, um, not much. Well, thanks for your time. We do hear about the road, a very famous main street.

Oh, the kink. Yeah. Tell us about the kink. That's probably a claim to fame. That's probably about it. So apparently the road was made from, basically they tried to meet in the middle. Is that how the story went? And then someone was slightly off.

Yeah, they did. They cocked it up, yeah. So they started building the road at different ends of the town. Yeah. And were like, we'll meet you in the middle. Yeah, and then they cocked up. And they went, oh, you're a bit over that side, I'm a bit over that side. Who was in the right and who

was in the wrong? Who knows? So now the road, you sort of have to veer on State Highway 1, by all accounts, you sort of have to veer around a little bit just to sort of link up with it. Yep. How long have you lived there, Reuben? All my life, mate, yep. 20 years.

Would you ever leave? Milton's got a bit of a curse. He can't really leave. You can't go straight out of town. You have to do a kink in the road. It's hard to leave. Yeah, the kink in the road stops you. News Hub reporter Samantha Hayes.

Yes, yeah, that's right. She's the claim to fame. She's a Miltonian. That's what you've... You've put all your chips in Hayes. Yes, yeah, that's right. Yep, she's the claim to fame. She's a Miltonian. That's what you've put all your chips in, Hayes, have you? Yeah. We'll send her out to the big wild. She got out. Yeah, I think, oh, who else?

Oh, no, I don't think we've got anyone else. No one else. No one else. All right, well, she was the chosen one. You shall leave and do great things in Milton's name. Cold at the moment too, Reuben. You shall leave and do great things in Milton's name. Cold at the moment too, Reuben. You must be freezing your cheese rolls off.

Oh, I am. I'm actually, I've gone out the back. It's the only place I can hear you. And yeah, it's bloody bitterly cold today. It's, you know, had some snow overnight. So we've got a wee sheet of snow. Yep. Have you got... As soon as you get snow this time of year, it's pretty early.

But yeah, we got snow this year, so... Are there the battlers in the town who, no matter what the weather, will always wear stubbies? Hold on. Yes. There is. There is a guy, he comes in the shop and he is wearing stubbies and stuff. So he'd be wearing stubbies today, for example? Yeah, yeah, probably, yeah. There's always the battlers. So he'd be wearing stubbies today, for example? Yeah, yeah, probably, yeah.

There's always the battle of the feet. Yeah, but once it's your thing, though, once it's like, oh, that's old, that's Steve who never doesn't wear stubbies, it's your thing and you can't go back. Yeah. Hey, you're a good sport. Thank you very much, Reuben.

You have a good day. Ben and Jono call this show Jono and Ben. Breakfast on the hips. The hips. Kia ora, good morning. Welcome along to the show. It is a Wednesday morning as New Zealand seems to be getting to the end of a polar blast, but things are pretty cold around the country this morning.

Chile. And I know, you know, at what degree Celsius can I start complaining about the cold here in Auckland? Because if I start moaning about how cold it is in Auckland, the South Island, rightfully so, is going to start judging. But, you know, what degree is it okay to have a little whinge? When it's as cold as, when you get snow, like down south. Do you guys remember when it snowed in Auckland, maybe about seven years ago? Oh, everyone kind of lost their minds briefly.

But some people argued it was sleet. And ruined our excitement. Like I was reading there was a meteorologist today in the paper and then he's down here just saying, hey guys, it's winter. This is going to happen twice, at least twice over winter. I love it when people point that out because we do need to sometimes just step back and go, you know what, this happens every year.

He's like, it's been the warmest June for many, many years and that's probably why it's feeling a bit colder now. So no, you can't. According to them and me, you can't mow. So no more complaining. No more complaining. Well, I didn't complain. I asked if I could.

He did, yeah, yeah. I'm a New Zealander. I love to have a winch. But I won't. I'll hold back. I'll hold back. But yeah, we'll keep you up to date with that throughout the morning. Seems pretty tough in Wellington in some parts.

Yeah, a little bit scary there with the waves, the wild waves going over the roads. Yeah, so we'll bring you up to date, as Jono said, with all the latest from the weather, the polar blast hitting New Zealand. Experts in semi-accurate, half-remembered information. Vaguely known information, but maybe not correct. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's

breakfast on the hits. I think the weather's meant to get a little bit better today, so that'll be good. I just asked, you know, when's it okay for the Aucklanders to complain when it's cold and someone's just texted and thankfully, very nicely is going, can we all when's it okay for the Aucklanders to complain when it's cold? And someone's just texted, and thankfully, very nicely, just going, can we all just agree it's cold everywhere? Yeah. And settle on that.

Some may be colder than others, but that's not to take away from our coldness. Right. Okay. Yesterday we were filming some comedy, weren't we, after the show? I don't know. A comedy sketch. We were filming a comedy sketch, and the comedy sketch required producer Juliet

to download an app on her phone that would turn us into old people. You know, those ones that, you know, you can turn into a cabbage or a carrot or the queen or Prince Harry, you know. Yeah, a filter. It makes you like ages, 40, 50 years sort of thing, you know.

I don't know why I started with cabbages and carrots. No, I haven't seen any of those, but anyway. So this was one designed to make us look older, sort of 30 years older. And she put it on herself, and she's like, this is what it looks like. And she looked great. Grey hair, Juliet. It looked like you would vote for New Zealand first. You won Winston back in Parliament.

Absolutely. Yeah, it really did. It gives you lots of wrinkles. Grey hair. Grey hairs and all sorts. Did it on Ben. Did it on Ben. Had grey hair.

He almost looked like an underfed George Clooney. Looked fantastic. Then it was my turn. And the app did nothing. Like, put it on my face. And I looked almost... Younger. Younger. No different. like put it on my face and I looked almost younger younger no different we were like oh have you still got the app going you're like yeah no that's going the app was on

your face and it recognized your face and it did its best to age you the app was like I've reached my age limit I can't age this guy if I age this guy up anymore he's going to be dead no I really wanted to say anything though because we're like oh yeah no you're all you guys were like oh no i'll be just be different if you like hair and stuff you know the hair exaggeration i was like don't give me your pity ageism i thought it was working quite well at one stage but then it was just the lights reflecting off i was like oh maybe it's giving you sort of gray around there but no i had yeah like you're right if anything the app was generous to me. It made me look healthier, younger. But is this it?

Have I reached the point in my life where I'm just going to look like this until the day it's over? Maybe I have. It's maybe a little bit up to you, but a little bit up to... It could be a blessing, though, because if that's what you're going to look like when you're 70, you'll probably look quite good. Don't do none of this.

I did some research. The only other person that it did this to was Joe Biden. It was me and Joe Biden. And the app was like, I can't do anything. Next. Sorry, you go. Nothing. It's important.

Oh, no. I was just going to say, when is that thing coming out that we did? Tonight. Oh, there you go. You can see that tonight. You can see Ben looking old, Julia looking old, and me looking the same. Yeah, well, yeah, a little bit older. A little bit older.

Welcome to the Space Jam. Space Jam's A New Legacy's 10 Shots at 10K with Jono and Ben. It's a brand new movie, Space Jam, A New Legacy, starring LeBron James and all the Looney Tunes. It's back, and it's in cinemas July 8th. I like your line when you say, it's going to be a slam dunk for all ages. Yeah, I like that one. That's good.

The slam dunk movie of the year or something else. Or a slam dunk for all ages. Yeah, those are the two things I've sort of been playing around with. What do you think is better? I like slam dunk for all ages. I think you can get some more terminology in there. Is there anything swish? Oh, I guess swish, yeah.

It's a layup. I don't know. Don't dribble? No, no, no. Don't dribble in the movie theatre? Which is always good advice, no matter what film you're seeing. Exactly. Yeah, but we've got a fun competition that we want to put your dad in a jam.

And we're going to ask him some pretty important dates that he should know in his life. Birthdays, anniversaries, ratty ratty rah. And we're going to give you a family pass to space jam take the whole whanau along and you go in the drawer your dad goes in the drawer to shoot 10 shots at a basketball hoop for ten thousand dollars that's a big prize a huge price a lot of pressure too you know when you think about having to shoot for ten thousand dollars000. And the free throw, the free throw line. You were saying NBA players miss regularly. Yeah, the NBA players, yeah.

Because they can do it in their sleep, you would imagine. But when there's pressure on and there's people watching, you can just bounce the ball so it can happen. It'd be annoying if they were doing it in their sleep and you were married to them. Can you stop throwing basketballs around the bedroom? Yeah, maybe they couldn't do it in their sleep. So that's how it works. The hits.co.nz if you married to them. Anyway, can you stop throwing basketballs around the bedroom? Yeah, maybe they couldn't do it in their sleep. Yeah. So that's how it works. The hits.co.nz if you want to register.

We could be putting your dad in a jam tomorrow, but we'll give it a crack next. Welcome to the Space Jam. Space Jams and New Legacies. Ten shots at 10K with Jono and Ben. The movie's coming out July 8th. It is Space Jam and New Legacy. LeBron James, Bugs Bunny and all the Looney Tunes

are going to be starring in that one. It looks awesome. Ideal for LeBron. He can take the lion's share of the salary when you're working with cartoon characters, can't you? They don't demand a high pay rate on a movie. Yeah, because normally in the NBA you have to get the team, you know, the funds under a salary cap.

But you're right, with cartoons maybe it's different. I think he's pretty much doing the same with the Lakers though, isn't he? Yeah, well, have him run on a plan. Taking most of the salary. But yes, we're going to put your dad in a jam and we're going to send Atamaria to Loray. Good morning. How are you? I'm good, thank you. It's good to have you on. Now Space Jam, you want to go? Absolutely. We've made your dream come true. That's done, alright. There's a family pass coming your way.

And now we want to give you a chance to go on the draw to win 10 shots at 10K. Nice. Now, your dad's name is Grey, we understand. That's right. Is Grey a safe pair of hands? Good dad. He was there for all the good times. Oh, he's amazing.

He's incredible. There for every trip, every performance, training. That's not what we want to hear. We want a shaky pair of hands. We want a shaky period. We want a dad like my dad who said he was off to get some milk and he never returned. Those are the sorts of dads we're after for this competition. But maybe Grey's going to nail this.

Yeah, I'm pretty confident. Well, we want to put him into a bit of a jam. So we want to ask him some questions that he probably should know the answers to, but when we put him on the spot, maybe he'll crumble. So let's go birthdays. We understand there's quite a few siblings in your family, and so quite a few birthdays to remember. Yeah, that's right.

Okay, let's go your birthday to begin with, Lorraine. Okay, so mine's the 29th of August, 1993. Okay, 29th of August, 93. Your first sibling? Sandra. So Sandra, what's Sandra's birthday? 27th of March, 1992. 92.

Okay. Wonderful vintage year. This is also putting you on the spot right now too. I'm not sure I know my sisters and brothers. You can just go the date. You don't have to go the year as well. Okay, cool. So let's go through the rest of them.

Okay, so Sharon is the 30th of July.th 30th of july yep right well hopefully gray will tell us yeah yeah yeah exactly okay my brother graham is the 7th of december 7th of december and you got one more sibling aaron and his is the 26th of october do you know i was driving home yesterday i was going we make these poor people do this. I don't think I could manage. When you get to fill out these forms, you're like, I should do those dates. And when there's pressure on you in an environment where you are the sole form filler

outerer, you can feel eyes burning on you when it comes to birth dates and important wedding anniversary dates etc. So heading through to Grey now. What does Grey do for a job? He's a truck driver oh well we have to get him to sound his horn it's what we love doing hello is that grey grey can you sound your horn for us

oh there we go sound like someone anyway no that's fine that's great it's john i'm being calling from the hitsits radio station. How are you? We're doing all right. We've got you. Sorry, the horn thing was probably an odd one to lead with, wasn't it? It was. We've got your daughter, LeRae, on the phone right now,

and we've got some questions that we want you to see if you know the answer to. Okay. This is hopefully to put you guys in the draw for 10 basketball shots at $10,000. Okay. So if you get these right, you go in the draw. 10 basketball shots at $10,000. Okay. So if you get these right, you go on the draw. No pressure, Gray. The first question is Loray, her birthday. What is her birthday

including the year? 29th of August 1993. Well done. He's got one from five. It's about now you probably regret having so many children. We don't have to go the years for the next ones We just want to go the date The day and the month

For Sandra, Sandra's birthday 27th Of March Well done Two from two grey, you're proving to be a wonderful father here Sharon Big question marks over Sharon's birthday From all of us.

When's her birthday? Oh, gee, you would have to bring her up, wouldn't you? You would have to bring his third daughter, Sharon, up, wouldn't you be? I'm sorry if I bring Sharon up. Okay. Yes. What's her birthday? The 30th of July.

Yes. Well done. Well done Well done We lost him there for a second But he pulled it back beautifully Graham What's Graham's birthday? Graham's birthday is the 8th of December

I think I may have got it wrong I think I said my mum's birthday We'll give you that one then And finally Aaron mum's birthday. We'll give you that one then. And finally, Aaron. Aaron's birthday. Aaron's birthday is the 26th of October. There we go. Well done. You guys have got a family pass to

Space Jam, a new legacy movie, and you're in the draw for 10 shots at $10,000. Oh, thank you so much. God, I was sweating for you there. And you can head to thehits.co.nz if you want to register to put your dad in a jam tomorrow. You've got no journalism degrees.

We have the reading ability of seven-year-olds, but that's good enough to bring you your morning news. What's been happening over the last 24 hours? Well, nothing but the polar blast that's been hitting New Zealand. Snow across low levels in New Zealand. Roads closed yesterday. Grounded flights. They reckon it's colder because obviously we've had

the warmest June ever recorded as well. So we've had quite a warm, mild winter up until pretty much yesterday or the day before. But the other factor of why it was so cold was a lot of wind chill factor. So really cold winds around New Zealand. Oh yeah, you can feel it cutting through, can't you? Like a mean comment from an internet troll.

It cuts right through me. But what I do love about this, and I think we were discussing this before the show, we should do an experiment after 7 o'clock. Wonderful conversation starter, the cold weather. It's the America's Cup effect. You've all got something to say. There's at least two to three minutes of easy, free-flowing banter.

You know, it's wonderful at the school gate, isn't it? Oh, you hear it's snowing in Bloody Bay. Oh, right. Yeah, well, Wellington's a good one to talk about. When was the last time it snowed there? You know, there's so many avenues you can go down. And a little bit scarier in Wellington, a local state of emergency put in place yesterday

because of the really strong and high waves they reckon to up to 6.5 metres expected to hit Wellington overnight. About 140 homes evacuated yesterday and waves are still likely to pose a threat up until about 9.30 this morning. So take care. The guy across the road I saw on the news, like when you're

driving down by the water, the waves are coming up all over. Sorry, Oriental Parade is along there, is it? I think along there, and I think over Seatoun and other areas as well, closer to the, yeah. But there's like a stretch of houses that have evacuated about 140 homes in Wellington. So, yeah, along the Wellington South Coast.

No ferries today again, I imagine? You wouldn't think so, right? So, yeah. But it's meant to get a little bit better as from this afternoon. So that's good. And some lighter news. This guy here in America, his name is Steve Larkin. He basically survived for 555 days without a heart.

It's just crazy. I was just reading this before. So he had an artificial heart. He needed a heart transplant. He was waiting on a donor. So he had like a backpack that was like a, they had an artificial heart that was, sorry, they had a backpack which basically would supply him with what he needed.

Oh, my God. And he wore that for 555 days until he got his heart transplant two weeks ago, and now he's all good. Geez, you wouldn't want to leave that backpack on the bus, would you? Oh, God. Oh, God. Yeah, you wouldn't put it down. I don't think it's the thing you sort of put down.

It was basically the equivalent of a backpack. A device. For over a year he survived. Connected to it for 555 days without having. Yeah, so technically he survived for a year and a half without a heart. That is mind-blowing. My dad had a quadruple bypass. Quadruple?

He went big. But it was so, the heart unit in Christchurch, and this is just one of many throughout the country, so many patients in there and they just churn through them. It's just like taking a car in for a war on a fitness. Like putting a new battery in a car or something. Basically. Do you mean specifically for heart operations?

Heart operations, sorry, yeah. So called arteries and things like that. And they were just like, we do so many of these, dozens of these a day across the country. But then they go, oh, you know, you've got to watch what you eat and stuff. And I'm like, mate, you've got some new pipes. You can start from ground zero.

Log those bad boys up again. No. Go around twice. Yeah. It's like when you go to the dentist and they deal with the floss and they get all the stuff and you're like, oh, great. These will never get better. I'm good to go.

Don't have to brush my teeth for weeks. It's like resetting your clock on your car on the kilometers two dads just trying to fill some airtime some may say it's pointless but the main thing is it fills in some airtime for us that is the main thing breakfast on the hits now amazon a ceo jeff bezos uh you would have heard his name before he's worth over 300 it's billions too many zeros to even know what that number is yeah he's like he's one of the richest people in the world but um it's basically his girlfriend's brother uh tried to sue him for defamation and uh jeff won and and now he and he's meant to pay him the legal fees for the thing even though he's got billions and billions of dollars he's meant to get legal for like seven For like $7,000 for the lawyer or something.

Basically, and the brother said, oh, I can't afford to pay this. I can't, you know. And Jeff's like, no, you've got to pay it. So now he's taken him to court to get his legal fees back, even though he's one of the richest people. He's already the world's richest man. And there you go, $197 billion is his net worth. But he's like, hey, don't you owe me legal fees.

This is what I'm entitled to do. He's carrying on through the process. He looks like bald guys can never be really rich because they just look like evil supervillains from movies. Don't you think? Look at him there. Dr. Evil. You can put him in a bloody Marvel film.

He'd be like, well, he's the evil guy. Yeah, which he's not. You're right. You could probably say this because you're bald. I could never be a cabillionaire because he'd be like, well, he's done some nasty stuff in Globe Corp or whatever his weird company name is and whatever they do. Yeah.

So I like that. See, but I guess that's probably why he's rich as well, too, because he's like, well, hey, there's money owed to me. To the energy of Bezos, he didn't bring the case up in the first place. No, he didn't. And he won it, obviously, fairly. It was a palsy move from the brother-in-law. What was the defamation about?

I don't actually know. I don't know why he defamed him, but he was like, oh, okay. Well, good on him for giving it a crack, I guess. If you're going to go at anyone, Bezos is probably a good option. He's got some money. He wouldn't miss any of it. Obviously, he would. We've got some spy entertainment news not far away.

Yeah, Britney Spears' younger sister, Jamie Lynn, has spoken out about the conservatorship. I'll fill you in on that next. Time now for the most trusted source broadcasting stories featuring the least trusted sources. It's producer Julia with Spy Entertainment News. So a couple of people have spoken out in support of Britney Spears since she spoke in court about her conservatorship,

one being Christina Aguilera and the other being Britney's younger sister, Jamie Lynn. So Jamie Lynn, it seems, has been getting a bit of flack, smack online, whatever you want to call it. Not online. It's such a positive place. Don't tell me other people are getting involved in something

that doesn't have anything to do with them. You're exactly right. Forcing their opinions on everyone else. You're so exact. You're like, oh everyone else. Why don't you say exactly? You're not up for it. Well, yeah, that's the issue because supposedly she's been silent about the issue. But she said the only reason, which is totally, totally makes sense, she hadn't spoken publicly before was because she wanted to wait for her sister Brittany

to speak about it herself first because obviously it's Brittany's right to speak about that issue first before she spoke herself about it. And this is what she had to say online. Since the day I was born, I've only loved, adored and supported my sister. I mean, this is my freaking big sister before any of this bullshit. I'm so proud of her for requesting new counsel like I told her to do many years ago. Oh, not on a big public platform, but just in a personal conversation between two sisters. I love my sister, always have, always will, as long as she's happy.

Why didn't you do it online for all of us though? In a video? So we all knew. You're probably doing quite a lot behind the scenes, you know, you imagine. Like a normal family? I know, it's ridiculous for people to assume that she wouldn't have said anything privately.

But it's good that she has done that now and supported it, because I guess that's the thing. Sometimes people go, hey, if you're not publicly doing it, are you not supporting them? Yeah, totally. And I hope she's learned a valuable lesson too, Jamie Lynn. Next time she wants to have a private conversation,

have it publicly so we can all digest it. Totally. And Kristen Bell, she says that her and her husband, Dax Shepard, to deal with, you know, because in America, and we that her and her husband, Dax Shepard, to deal with, you know, because in America, and we were talking about this before, therapy and couples therapy is quite big overseas. They talk about it quite openly and Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard have been very open about

when they go to counselling, but in the pandemic when they were locked in the same house, their therapist suggested that they do one-on-one therapy. At the beginning of the pandemic, we were at each other's throats and our therapist, Harry, he suggested we go to therapy separately kind of so that we could talk about each other. And it's been great. So I'll see Harry via Zoom and complain about Dax

and then he'll give me all the reasons why I'm wrong and then Dax will do the same. And then by the time we meet up in the evening, we love each other again because our toolboxes are bigger yeah and Harry gets two payments from the same family yeah great play from the guy hey come see me separately and then you know oh but do we still is it the same no no no those are two separate sessions two separate clients yeah genius yeah really smart I mean they can afford it anyway, so it's quite good.

Well, that's what he's probably thinking as well. He's like, text you and Chris about what great clients to have. Let's do some therapy right now, okay? We all need to say something about each of us that annoys us about the person. Oh, no, don't do this. No, because I've done this before and you go, you go first. You go first. Oh, yeah, you bloody annoy me with this.

And then you'll go, well, nothing annoys me about that. I'll do it properly this time. No. You go first. I'm not getting involved. Nothing at all. Judy, something that annoys you about both of us, once a one-inch. I can't think of anything. Well played.

Good answer. Thank you. You guys are not falling into my trap. I know. You want to try and look like a better person now. I've done that before. I did that with a rap battle. And you're like, go hard, go hard.

Your toe holds fine. Oh, yeah. So I did. I went first. And then you made a lovely rap about me. It was all positive. No, Ben with a rap battle. And you're like, go hard, go hard. So I did. I went first. And then you made a lovely rap about me. It was all positive. Ben was my best friend. And I wouldn't want another friend. And he was like, you're bald, you're ugly, you look like Gollum.

He felt really bad about it. He was like, oh, it was sad. This guy just called you best friend. Okay. Well, I can only do that trick once obviously And that is five more You can head to thehits.co.nz New Zealand's breakfast

This is Jono and Ben on the Hits Good morning it's just gone seven o'clock on you Wednesday morning from our news department I like saying news department Oh it sounds great, the news bureau Remember we're going to call it the bureau We've got Rachel Jackson-Leeson and I love it when we get Rachel Jackson-Leeson because she adds a level of credibility to this programme.

Most desperately needs. But Wellington, what's going on, mate? Well, there is a meeting which is just getting underway right now. So officials are meeting to assess the situation overnight. So they actually don't know what has happened overnight. Those big swells were expected to peak at around 3am. We know that they were around 6.5 metres shortly after that high tide. But because there were about 140 evacuations yesterday, then it's unknown if any of those homes were damaged.

So now that it's getting lighter there, they can go out and they can actually see what the extent of it is. At this point, it doesn't look like anything major happened. But now that it's light, they can go and really check that out this morning. Did you see the kayakers yesterday? I was watching that so there's experienced kayakers who were out in some pretty rough conditions but they were saying they were

fine but then people saw them out there and were like oh my god there's people out there and they got basically the helicopter to come down and then all the boomers on ZB yesterday were going they should pay for the helicopters. They were like well they didn't call the helicopters. They were like we well, they didn't call the helicopters. They were like, well, fine.

We're experienced. We know what we're doing. We've been out there like that before. I wouldn't recommend it for other people. Everyone who calls Newstalk ZB says they should pay for the helicopters. Even if they're not talking about helicopters, make them pay for the helicopters. They did get called out by the mayor

who actually went on the record and saying these people were nuts. Oh, yeah. I mean it's regardless of how experienced you think they are, they were saying the conditions in Wellington were extreme and it doesn't matter how good you think you are at kayaking or any other water sport for that matter, you should not

be at the coast, you shouldn't even be standing on the coastline is what the advice was yesterday. Wow. They were saying it could have been I mean they ended up from one side of Wellington Harbour to the other. It was like 22km. It was quite a distance. Put that in your butt with smoke up here. What are you trying to come in here

with your jokes? They were mates of us, I think. What are your kayak jokes? You and your kayak mates? Pack up your kayaks and pay for the helicopters, buddy. I'll pay for the helicopters, guys. There is another high tide at Wellington at 9.30 this morning. Don't go out there. Don't go out there.

Don't go out in your kayak. But in all seriousness, the advice again today is don't go to the shore. And this is not just for Orfido Bay and Breaker Bay. This is for the other parts of Wellington as well. So on the other side, Eastbourne, which is where I'm actually from. Shout out to Eastbourne! So any parts of the coast they're saying don't go there today because they're just

not sure what could happen. We'll keep you updated this morning if anything else changes. Thanks very much Jo Rachel for putting me in my own place. The mayor came out officially and said they were idiots. What do you think about that? Does that make you an idiot?

Idiot. Maybe it does. Five words for 5K on the hits. You're only five words away from a massive payday. It's our Game of Word Association. We play it every day on the show. You know how it works. We tell you five words.

What pops into your head, you lock those in. And if they match up with ours, you win. We say hundreds of words on the show every day. 99.99% of them mean nothing, trust me, because I say most of them. They're nonsense. But these five, they count. Heather in Christchurch, you're on the radio. Hello.

Great to have you on. Heather, are you working? I am, yeah. What do you do, mate? I work in a curry in Hornby. Oh, the Hornby Bakery. Heather, are you working? I am, yeah. What do you do, mate? I work in a bakery in Hornby. Oh, the Hornby Bakery. Oh, nice. Yeah, I do love me a bap or two.

What's your specialty? Oh, probably our pies. That's pretty good. Yeah. Oh, nice. Everyone claims that they've got the best pies, though. This is the thing. This is why they have the Pie Awards.

Have you ever come through at the Pie Awards? Have we won? Wait, sorry, what was. Have you ever come through at the Pie Awards? Have we won? Wait, sorry, what was that? Did you win anything at the Pie Awards? We've won one. Oh, there you go. You can say you've got amazing pies. All right.

Who do you want to send into the soundproof booth? Jono, Ben or Producer Juliet? Ben, please. All right. Well, thankfully, because it's so cold outside, the soundproof booth at the moment is doubling up as a sauna. So Ben is going in there with 33 men in towels, hairy men, perspiring men right now. But he's going to come out nice and balmy.

Let's get into it, see if we can match five words. And we understand there's a team of bakers, a baker's dozen standing around you right now who are going to help you with this competition. First word for you, Heather, is taco. What comes into your head when I say taco? Bell. That was nice and quick too. Bell's a good option.

Calculator. Number. Titanic. Ship. That's SHIP. numbers titanic shit it's ship uh just confirming yes yeah it was a bit of a shitty one though wasn't it in the grand scheme of things uh stitch oh um can i come back to that one? Plastic is five, the fifth word. Plastic. Plastic. Container. Oh, yeah.

Nice. Yeah, no, that's nice. And we'll go back to stitch. There's two versions of the word stitch though isn't there can use it in two contexts um oh that one's hard i'm gonna go like sewing sewing yeah yeah you got effort nice one the other one i was thinking was when you get the stitch, when you're running. Oh, see, I was thinking of Lilo. Oh, yeah.

What were you thinking of? I was thinking of Lilo. You know the cartoon Lilo and Stitch? Oh, Lilo and Stitch. Yeah, but all very good options as well. And a great cartoon as well. Can we all agree on Lilo and Stitch being one of the greats? All right, let's get Ben out of the soundproof sauna.

How was it in there? Busy sauna this morning, wasn't it? Oh, yeah. You're looking good. A slight dew on his forehead. And he's ready to match five words with Heather and the bakers. How many bakers have we got there, Heather? We've got four.

Four? With fingers in all the pies. Let's see if one of those pies is worth $5,000. Jeez, that was tenuous, wasn't it? I'm sorry. Let's go. Taco. Bell.

Oh, I almost went Tuesday. Appropriately, a bell sounded. Yeah, true. You're one from one. Heather, the next one that Ben has to do is calculator. Numbers. Oh. calculator numbers oh this is good, this is a good start

Titanic there's lots, there's lots of options for Titanic well just one of them would be nice just when you're ready. First word that popped into my head. Ship. Oh! That's good.

Ship came into a harbour carrying a shipload of cash. Heather, what do you want to say to Ben? Any words of inspiration from the bakers in Hornby? Peace it up. You're doing great. Oh, yeah, this is good. We're in sync. This is good.

I like it. Stitch. Sew. Sewing. She went sewing. It's the same. It's the same thing. Oh, Heather.

It's the same thing. Soak Heather. It's the same thing. So, one and a half words away from five grand. Oh, sorry. That's so annoying. That's so annoying. He is so annoying. You're right. Oh, man.

What was the last one? Last word was plastic. Oh, I don't know. A bag. Container Bag Did you almost say container? Yeah

I'm glad you didn't Oh really? Was that another one? Yeah Oh Heather That was really close One of the closer ones We've had over the last

Couple of weeks Well done Thanks for listening You're going to have A wonderful day in Christchurch Keep warm okay? Thank you You too

It's doable It's so close. Spy. The What's Up Spy.co.nz. She is the queen of celebrity news and gossip. Oprah Winfrey is a wonderful broadcaster. In the meantime, here's producer Juliette with Spy. So a video of Justin Bieber is doing the rounds on the internet of him approaching his home in New York

with a bunch of fans that are standing outside asking for photos asking for hugs and the way he reacted to his fans being outside is getting quite a lot of praise online he asked them quite respectfully this is my home I would appreciate it if you guys weren't here and he actually gave him the time of day rather than just you know walking off I hear you said did she say someone says can i get a hug can i get a hug after that spill i mean you just walked up come home and i like to relax okay cool can i get a hug but i just said this was yeah i was going on those moments where you're like do you hear any of the words that left my mouth you feel sorry for him in that you know like it's like you know there's got to be those places that you you

you can go i know people you know totally and he's probably tried every method of you know just walking past fans ignoring them he's probably putting on a mustache yeah and he's probably tried every method of just walking past fans, ignoring them. He's probably... Putting on a moustache. Yeah, and he's probably trying all these different methods to try and get them to lead, essentially. I imagine at first it would be fun having people lingering outside your house. You'd be like, look at all the people outside. Yeah, it would be fun, but then eventually the novelty would wear off. Yeah, well, he's had it for so many years. Oh, I know. Over a decade, I think it is now.

There'd be no place he couldn't go on the face of the earth and not get hassled. Antarctica? Penguins would be like, just be there. They'd be all over. Just be there.

In their own language, obviously. Yeah, yeah. No, that is a good point. Very good point. And just quickly, the amazing actor that is Samuel L. Jackson, he's finally getting an Oscar, his first Oscar, after nearly 50 years as an actor.

Obviously, he's in Pulp Fiction, Django Unchained, Snakes on a Plane. I have had it with these beaven snakes. I'm just beaven plain. Critically acclaimed. Iconic quote. But he's getting an honorary Oscar, and these are given to people who have had lifetime achievements

or exceptional contributions to motion picture arts and scenes and an outstanding service to the Academy. Oh, he deserves it. He's a wonderful actor. So he's going to be presented at that in January next year. An honorary Oscar almost sounds like a pity Oscar, though, doesn't it? They're like, oh, we haven't given Samuel L. Jackson an Oscar in a few years. That's probably why they put it in there, just to, you know, do a make good. But he deserves one.

Totally. He bloody deserves one. Awesome actor. And that is Spy. For more you can head to the hits.co.nz. What I love is I saw him on Graham Norton, Samuel L. Jackson and Graham Norton's like, you know, you've got a shocking mouth. He's like, oh yeah, I swear like a sailor. He's like, round you kids. He's like, I've sworn around my kids. Like a badge of honour. He's like, I've sworn around my kids since

the day they were born. And we all swear. We're all saying F this, F that. They've done it my kids since the day they were born. And we all swear. We're all saying F this, F that. They've done it since they were three. Oh my goodness. Hey, after 8 o'clock things are a little bit you know, I bought something at home

and it hasn't gone down that well. Your mistress. No, no, that won't go down that well. But it's something that I Hey guys, I'd like to introduce you to someone Not quite as bad as that New Zealand's breakfast This is Jono and Ben on the hits

Good morning, just got on 8 o'clock On a very cold morning right around New Zealand But none colder than Auckland we just discovered before Sitting at zero degrees And you can boast about it, Auckland The rest of the country wants to hear how cold you are. Have no shame in talking about it. Ben, many weeks ago, now four, five, six, maybe seven weeks ago,

I made you get a tattoo on your prosteria featuring your hero, Dwayne The Rock Johnson, inside a love heart. This was to get his attention. And every week I've been giving weekly updates if you've been featured on his Instagram account because this was a shameless ploy to do that. Yeah, because we had a bottle of his tequila and he posts his Terramoana Tuesdays in America, which come through on a Wednesday here in New Zealand.

Yeah, and I've just checked, go and have a look. No, there's nothing there. Well, there's something there. He's posted about three or four posts, but not us. Every Wednesday morning. Thanks, we're getting some good use out of that this morning too. The loser sound effect you put in there

and you just played that again. Well she's like, you know, Julian, he's not a loser, okay? He's a winner who's going to meet his hero one day. Yes, true. I'm not going to stop radioing until you meet The Rock. Okay, that's my voucher.

That's my voucher. But the thing that annoys me, though, is he puts up subpar content. Subs below the par. You know, you've got a tattoo. That went to a lot of effort. Maybe too much effort, as producer Juliette said before, right? We almost should have filmed on, like, a Nokia brick. Yeah.

And he would have reposted it. Maybe we were too keen. Too professional. You know, usually it's just people sitting on a couch going, Hey, Rock, here's me drinking tea. It couch going, hey, rockers, me drinking together. It's like, mate, no storyboarding. Nothing. There's no character development in that little video.

Jono and Ben, or as they're known in the office, those two. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits. Bit of an issue going on at home at the moment. Oh, great. I brought it upon myself, but we have a clock sort of next to the kitchen lounge area, a wall clock, and it fell off when I was home the other day and smashed on the ground,

and it no longer works. So I was like, well, I just hate, like, I just like getting stuff sorted. Like, if it was like, oh, that's where the clock was, there's a thing in the wall. Because there's nowhere else you can tell the time. Well, yeah. You need to replace the clock.

I've got a nail on the wall. There was a clock there. It was nice having a clock there because it was really handy because it was in the kitchen, sort of lounge area, and you'd always look at it. And I'd find I'm going, well, there's no, you know. Yes. You're cooking. You're doing all those things.

It's great to have a great clock. You could have hanged your, you know, your player of the day trophy we give you every day on that nail. Yeah. Couldn't you? So anyway, I was like, I'm going to get a clock. I went online, ordered a clock. I thought it was cool.

I thought it was different. And it was a Mickey Mouse clock. So the clock has got Mickey Mouse's hands as the big hand and the small hand. And I got it home. I put it up. My wife walked in and she's like, what is that? I'm like, it's a new clock. It's a new clock.

It's a Mickey Mouse clock. She's like, fine, if it was a children's bedroom. But for a lounge of grown adults, the kids love clock. She's like, fine, if it was a children's bedroom, but for a lounge of grown adults. The kids love it. The kids love it. You know, I love it. How big is Mickey's clock? It's a full-size clock.

Like, it's, you know, what you'd think a wall clock could be. Can you show me a photo of it? I can show you. Here you go. Oh, jeez. What? Not even Walt Disney would put that up in Disneyland. And that's his house.

That's cool. Anyway, so I put it on my social media last night to try and get a bit of support. It did groundswell. Yeah, it was, you know, it was quite competitive, the results. Well, we're hearing one side of the story here, but I think we need to get both sides. You know, there's always two sides

to every argument, so we'll call Amanda. She'll be on her way to school. Morning. Morning. Hey, what's the time at home? Just wondering. Is there a lovely clock in the lounge? Do you just want to have a look up and just tell me what the time is? You can't read the time off the TV.

Oh, there's a time to get rid of the Mickey Mouse clock? Totally. I'm off there, Ben. You know that. Is it time to get rid of the Mickey Mouse clock? Totally. I'm with you, Amanda. I am ticked off. I thought I clocked it, as far as a clock goes, literally. But I've come to this pun party with no puns prepared. It's a Mickey Mouse operation at my house. And at the moment, and the clock, it's not, it's, well,

three out of four of the family members are really enjoying it at home, but you're not quite as much. And three out of the four of the family members are under 10 years old. Yeah, well, you're right. These children's objects you continuously bring into your marriage, they're coming between you and Amanda. Thank you, Jono. Someone understands. Well, usually I don't like to take sides in your marital disagreements. You know, I'm a neutral ground that you can both come to, a sounding board.

I don't like to pick sides. But, you know, Simpsons figurines, Toy Story backpacks, Mickey Mouse clocks. Sounds like someone's definitely taking it aside here. Don't like to take sides, but you're taking it aside. Listen, you know there are other departments that came out apart from the children's department. It's where I get my clothes, and that's where I get all the items for the house.

You've got a Lightning McQueen bed, and you should be happy in that bed. 53% of people voted through on I put a little poll up, so it's pretty close. Oh, you've taken it to the polls. I put it to the polls. I put it on Instagram, and I thought these people that follow me, I thought I little poll up, so it's pretty close. Oh, you've taken it to the polls. I put it to the polls. I put it on Instagram. I thought these people that follow me,

I thought I would win this in a landslide. But at the moment, 53-47. 53 say awesome job, Ben, and 43% say best for a kid's bedroom. So, yeah, so it's pretty close. Ridiculous. And those are his people. Those are your people.

I know. If anything, I'm like, this is where I should win this one. Yeah. All right. Well, anyway, what's the time again? Just at home? Is it still the same time? Go by another clock then.

We'll go by another clock. Okay. Thank you, Amanda. Bye. So the clock, you know, the mixed results at my house. It feels like something that my wife would love to, you know, give away, to swap, to, you know. And that every relationship has these things.

When two parties combine into one united household, there's items in the household that one won't really like as much as the other. And clearly this clock is one of them, your figurines, your backpacks, your T-shirt. I mean, there's a list. I'm the same too. Jeez, the amount of clothes that magically disappear from my wardrobe. What happened to that holy Metallica T-shirt? She's like, you've got 39 others.

So what we want to do right now, we want to open up Jono and Ben's swap shop. We have held pizza vouchers to give away. They've got an all-new brisket pizza right now. You just tell us what item you'd like to swap of your partner's that's in the household that you don't like, and we'll give you a pizza vouchers to give away. They've got an all-new brisket pizza right now. You just tell us what item you'd like to swap of your partner's that's in the household that you don't like, and we'll give you a pizza voucher. The swap shop's open. All right.

Give us a call. We're out of the hits. We'll do that next. Morning. This show contains traces of Jono and Ben. The Hits with Jono and Ben for breakfast. Now, we've opened up our swap shop. If you've got an item in your household

that maybe your partner has brought for you that you're not, brought into the house that you're not so stoked with, you can swap it now for Hell Pizza vouchers. Tracy's just texting, can I swap my mother-in-law who's living with us at the moment? Are we taking mother-in-laws for Hell Pizza vouchers? No, I don't know if that's quite, no.

Okay, alright, we'll get Amy on from Auckland. Morena, Amy, how are you? Good, thanks. The swap shop is open, we have one Hell Pizza vouch Auckland Morena, Amy, how are you? Good, thanks The swap shop is open, we have one hell pizza voucher What would you like to swap for it? What's annoying you in the household? My partner's the Holy Undies Oh, they've been blessed by the Pope or they

I have no idea They just keep getting Holy even if I throw them out And then buy some new ones and then in the washing They're just holy again. Yeah, he's got to stop buying used underpants. But you can ride them out, can't you, for a while. I like them when they detach from the elastic band and they sort of, you know, the material is ripped away from the elastic band.

You can still pump those suckers out for another six months. No, no, you can't. Well, we'll take those holy underpants. Holy, holy, holy. We're going to give you some hell pizza vouchers, all right? Awesome, thank you. I don't know what we're going to do with those underpants, but we're going to wear them with pride.

I tell you, we sometimes go away together for personal and professional reasons, but I'm pretty sure I ended up with your underpants once. Right. It wasn't quite sitting right, you know? When you put someone else's underpants on, it's definitely, they're comforted to you. Right. Yeah, they're designed for you,

and they've moulded themselves to you like a couch. Yeah, it's all sitting a bit weird. Okay, yeah. I'm not quite full of them out. Sarah, you're on from Wellington. How are you this morning? I'm good. How are you?

Listen, we're doing well. We're doing well. What do you want to do for the swap shop? Get something out of the household? My partner has some hideous snakeskin boots. Jeez, I tell you what. You want to be fully up there with your credentials as a badass to pull off some snakeskin boots, don tell you what You want to be You want to be fully up there with your credentials As a badass to pull off some snakeskin boots

Don't you? You've really got to back yourself I tried leather pants for a period a few years ago Did you? Oh, fatal mistake A team of surgeons, qualified surgeons Had to remove them from me But yes, we all take the snakeskin boots

Made from real snakes, I hope. Yeah. Yeah. Depends on what your definition of a snake is. Alright, well done. You've got hell pizza, Sarah. And we'll go to Mel in Tauranga. How are you, Mel? Hey. It's the swap shop, Mel. Something's annoying you in the household

that you want to get rid of. Yeah. My boyfriend's dog passed away a couple years ago, and it was, like, his best friend, but he got a, like, taxidermied, like, stuffed. Oh, a taxidermied dog. Oh. Yeah.

Every time. Oh, that's a nice memory. That's lovely, but it's probably a bit... It's so creepy. It's so creepy to look at. Yeah. Every time I see a taxidermied... And you can't put it around, because it's...

Yeah. Oh, it's... Oh. I saw a taxdermied cat once, and it had a look on its face of, like, staring at a human being, putting on a rubber glove, picking up some stuffing and going, is this how it's going to end? You know, they've got that look on their face.

Oh, well, listen, we'll take that taxi-dermied dog. Will we? No, we'll just give it a whole pizza pouch. I don't know where to take that. Well, leave that bird in with Mel. I think. I don't know. Leave that burden with Mel. I think so. Thanks for taking part in the swap shop. Want more Jono and Ben?

You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. What was that about the library in the news just before, Rachel? Rachel was just saying that Auckland City Council have now decided all 30,000 people who can't enter the library because of unpaid late fees can now re-enter the library because they're going to wipe all the fees. Oh, wow.

Maybe they've gone, jeez, we're down 30,000 people and no one's in this library. It's quieter than usual, the library. Surely you can enter the library. Well, no one's... You just can't take out a book before now. They'll be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, the alarm's going off. Have you seen this wanted person?

Late fees, late fees. Late fees. But we went to the library in years. We went there once, didn't we? It was about four or five years ago. Yeah. We went to the library once. It was really enjoyable.

I love the library. Yeah, I've got all the time with the kids. It is so relaxing, I find. Yeah, and you can just search anything on there into me. It's wonderful. And it's all free. Yeah. You know?

Yeah. What a wonderful service they do, isn't it? I haven't been back in four years because I've got this book I haven't returned. Well, now you can. It is the hits. You've got Jono and Ben. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from sex on the hits. And via the iHeartRadio app got Jono and Ben.