Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: The Pet Food Nightmare...

Episode Date: August 4, 2022

Today on the Jono and Ben podcast, we chat to a lady who had an absolute disaster with a condom and a pet food box... the boys do a parody of Jack Harlow's 'First Class' and we met Debbie the great New Zealander who shuts down scammers!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits with the Jono and Ben podcast. Guys, would you believe it? The 5th of August. Welcome. Welcome to the 8th month of the year. You know, I do have a problem naming the number of the month. You know? Should we do a test?

Yeah. March. 3rd. But try not to do it without going. September. I know you're the same, but let's see how you go. I have to use my fingers. Let's see. No fingers. Let's see. As quick as you can. First thing that pops it without going. September. I know I'm the same, but let's see how you go. I have to use my fingers. Let's see.

No fingers. As quick as you can. First thing that pops in your head. September. 9th. June. September 9th? Yeah, I think you got it.

June always flops me out. 7. What's June? June 6th. Chuck another one at me. August. 8th October October 10th

Because whenever I'm filling out forms And you have to put the number of the month I'm always counting on my fingers And people are like When you're filling out forms And you have to use your fingers to count You're probably not going to get your home line You should have stopped finger counting many years ago

But yeah Exciting Favour favourite month of the year for you Ben, if you're going to pick a month I'll pick a month, a favourite month of the year I quite like the feeling of December I quite like the feeling of heading into Christmas time, that's always good if I could pick a favourite month, it would probably

be two months, it would be halfway through December to halfway through January those are your Heineken and chip and dip months aren't they? Those are some pretty bleak weeks. And then I spend the remaining 11 months just trying to pull myself back from those four weeks. Producer Joel, do you have a favourite month of the year?

Probably say, yeah, I agree, December, January. But also, you can't sleep on February and March. I feel like work is more enjoyable during those months as well because you can do stuff after work. The weather's more settled, people say. The weather's more settled. Come in wearing stubbies, jandals, singlets to work. That's all good here as well, isn't it?

Yeah, well, I don't know. For some reason, radio announcers come on here and dress all, but there's other people out there outside. They're wearing suits, shirts, ties. There's some well-dressed people outside of this room. Exactly. But, yeah, I had a really good, shirts, ties. There's some well-dressed people outside of this room. Exactly. But yeah, I had a really good, a really, really good question

that I was going to throw at the pair of you and I completely forgot what it was. Well, we'll stay here until you've got it. Okay. No one's leaving. It's not like a great podcast just to head along to. Yeah, no one's leaving. I can't.

We talked to a silver medalist on the podcast. We did. David Letty. He talked about how the drug testing system works over there. That I found really interesting. There was a lady that stops scammers on the podcast, how she does that. That's cool. I'm just patting the top.

Yeah, I know you're doing a good job. An amazing, amazing story how a lady's family got free pet food. Incredible. One of the best calls we've had all year. It involved... Call of the year. Yeah, it was call of the year. Don't you worry about what involved.

You just worry about your question. I'm trying. But the problem is you're talking and I can't think of my question. Yeah, it was call of the year. Now, don't you worry about what involved, you just worry about your question. I'm trying. I am trying to But the problem is you're talking and I can't think of my question. I need silence. Okay, alright. June, what month of the year? Eight. Seven. What is it? Yeah, so we're talking about months of the year. Did it have something to do with that? Yeah, it was summertime.

Recap, we did talk about, yeah, Christmas, chip and dip, Heineken. I've lost it, I've lost it. Santa parade. Santa parade. Joel's talking about weather being more settled yeah you're talking about how people were dressed

at work yeah you were talking about filling up forms in your hands that was pretty much all we covered wonderful job

of not only talking about that stuff but then recapping is this something to do with the movie from yesterday movie no

I've lost it hopefully it'll come to me over the weekend we'll find out enjoy the No. I've lost it. Hopefully it'll come to me over the weekend. We'll find out. Enjoy the podcast. As I said before, it's a good one. Numeracy, literacy, and idiocy. They've nailed one of those things.

Jono and Ben on the hits. North Island this morning, a few delays. Again, they're expecting for flights. My daughter said yesterday she had to play netball. She had netball training at 7.15 in the morning. It's so foggy. There are balls straight to her face. I bet it would. She's like, training at 7.15 in the morning. It's so foggy. There are balls going straight to her face. I bet it would.

She's like, you could see. Just passing it into a cloud. Anyone playing with a coach is like, no, we've got to get out there. We've got to train. For some reason, netball's a sport. They just plow on. They do. You know?

Yeah. My daughter plays netball as well. It's like, rain, hail. We've got to get the netball done. Do we? Can we wait? No, for some reason, yeah, they do. They carry on.

Speaking of which, you know, your kids, they kind of ask you questions. They think you know the answer to everything. Yeah. And I'm quickly being exposed for the person, a fraud. I don't know the answer to anything. I feel like there's a stage in your parents' life that you realise, oh, actually, they don't know everything. They're not as cool as I thought they were.

Yeah, but anyway, I'm still in that stage. She's like, yesterday she's doing some quiz on the iPad. You know, what occurs twice in a week, once in a year, but never in a month? Now, Ben, you figured this out during the song. Only with your help going, don't, your brain goes to a place it shouldn't do. Just look back at what you're saying in the wording.

And I was like, yeah, I did actually figure it out. Yeah, so just sort of investigate the sentence as the clue. I set it up as Jono's brain buster. Just be aware there's probably never going to be another brain buster. And once you find out it's not when a magician reveals a trick and you're like, oh, that's it. It wasn't that special. At the time you're like, how's that?

Wow, that's amazing. Yeah. But Kayla's with us from Tauranga. What the hell are you doing up at this time of morning? First question. I was heading to work. Oh, nice. What the hell are you doing up at this time of morning? First question. I was heading to work. Oh, nice. What do you do? I work in the kitchen at a rest home.

Oh, good on you. Now, during COVID, did you have to stay locked in or how did that work? During COVID, it's still a thing. Yeah, we had to stay and work. You live there? We've sort of locked down from time to time in a rest home.

Yeah, my wife's dad is in one. And, you know, yeah, they had a lockdown the other week because a lot of the residents were getting COVID. So, yeah, I can imagine that's trying conditions to be working in. Do you know, and I don't expect you to even answer this question or engage in the banter that I'm about to throw out there, Kayla. But my mother, Annie Pryor, she worked in a rest home for many years in Christchurch.

Oh, yeah? A couple of the residents, very randy. Yeah, some of them are. Yeah, they are. Hopping between rooms and all sorts. Why not?

Why not? She said it was a very funny night where there was a guy and he just said, he had a lot of pep in his step, this guy, and he was going around all sorts of places.

And they came around because they're like, old mate's up to it again. And he came sneaking out of a lady's room and he was going around all sorts of places and they came around because they're like old mate's up to it again and he came sneaking out of a lady's room and he was but he had no he just had no clothes on and he was hiding behind a bush and they had the torch and he thought he was hidden but all they could see was this giant shadow this silhouette on the wall of this naked man hiding behind a bush anyway to answer Jono's brain buster this morning? Yeah. What occurs twice in a week?

Once in a year but never in a month, Kayla. The letter E. Yeah. The letter E. Twice in a week. Once in a year but never in a month.

But you're right. It's quite disappointing when you find out. Yeah, but you feel clever if you can work that out. Well done. We're going to send you along to the Best Foods Comedy Gala.

It's back again in Auckland, Wellington this September. A whole lot of New Zealand's funniest comed We're going to send you along to the Best Foods Comedy Gala. It's back again in Auckland, Wellington this September. A whole lot of New Zealand's funniest comedians are going to be there, and you can go along and check it out. Cool, thank you. Good on you. Have a great day, Kayla. You guys too.

Scrolling through your feed. News and credibility, two things that go hand in hand, but not in this bulletin. Ben. Commonwealth Games continues on for another day. This morning, New Zealanders competing in cricket, diving, hockey, discus and netball. Not as many events today, but overnight, another medal in the cycling. 16 medals we've got in cycling at this Commonwealth Games.

It's pretty incredible. Georgia Williams. Georgia Williams claimed the next medal as well. Got bronze. And in the hammer throw, we've got two competitors through to the final. We actually had bronze and in the hammer throw we've got two competitors through to the final and we actually had three competitors in the hammer throw. If you want to throw the hammer. It's from Matilda

isn't it? Yeah. Wonderful musical. I think so. Yeah, you're right. Julia Radcliffe and Nicole Bradley threw into the final and listen how pumped they are. Have a listen. It's epic. It was good having three of us in the qualifier, but two in the final.

Yo, little old New Zealand. Yeah, let's go. Let's have some fun. How cool is that? Yo. Let's go. That's pretty cool. Now, if you go to see Chris Rock.

Actually, sorry, Ben, if you wouldn't mind me interrupting your bulletin. After 7 o'clock, 10 past 7, we're going to be joined by weightlifter, bronze medalist, silver medalist, sorry. David Lete is going to be with us from the Kong Games as well. And the weightlifting, he won silver, he won the gold in the last Commonwealth Games four years ago. Really want to know about the drug testing, you know, that takes place immediately after the medal ceremony.

Yeah. Do you think they should do it after the event and before the medal ceremony? Because, you know, you go ahead, you go through the thing, you get your medal, and then if you fail your test, then they have to go back and go, oh, we have to have another ceremony. Yeah. Well, yeah, we'll talk to them about that after 7 o'clock. Ben's failed a couple of those around the workplace.

We still stick with him. If you go to see Chris Rock perform, he's performing in Auckland on Sunday, which is pretty cool, American comedian Chris Rock. But there's some strict rules and if you don't abide by them you'll be immediately ejected

no mobile phones smart watches cameras or recording devices are allowed and they're very strict about this what will you leave them so what they

what they do they've got I've never heard this before it's called a yonder pouch so they give you a special pouch each you put your phone in there

and it disables your phone from working and you can't open it up now if each. You put your phone in there and it disables your phone from working. You can't open it up. Now, if you want to get your phone working, people are like, what if I've got a babysitter, which is fair enough, and I want to check on the kids? You can go out to the foyer and there are special places in the foyer which will basically enable your phone briefly for you to have a look at it. And then it goes back in the pouch and it goes back in so you can't record any of the show.

So do you hold on to the pouch? You hold on to the pouch. Now, I don't want to say that there's a flaw in this system. What if you just take your phone out of the pouch? I don't think you can. Oh, is it locked? I think it's like a locked pouch that you can't take it out. And then you have to go to the unlocking stations

and the unlocking station at the end, from what I understand, to get your phone back out and working again. Otherwise, you're going to leave your phone at home, but then you can't get an Uber or anything afterwards. Now, Ben, how would you go along? Because you love going along to concerts and taking unnecessary videos. Oh, yeah, can't I? And filming songs that are like distorting.

Yeah. You can't do it. You can't do it. Not with the yonder pouch. No, the yonder pouch, which is fair enough. I mean, everyone wants to hear him talk about the Will Smith slap. Everyone, you know, you see these articles and someone's gone, oh, he said this thing on stage, but no one's got actual video evidence

of him saying anything, and that's why, because they've got this special pouch. Apparently it's a very common thing. Dave Chappelle, a lot of the comedians all have it over there in America, so it's coming up, it's New Zealand. Is it so that people don't post their content online? I think so, yeah. Is that the thing? Yeah.

Right. You're not using their content, you're not putting it up online? Seems like something that they'd want for like stag do's, eh? Chuck out of the yonder pouch, mate. Warning. This show contains Jono and or Ben. Jono and Ben on the hits. We'll be talking a little bit about scamming this week because they're relentless.

They're everywhere. Even last night on WhatsApp, I got a message from someone saying, sorry, it's taken me a long time to get your number to reach you due to paperwork on my end. I understand there's a lot of paperwork to be done, so I understand. I'm messaging here because I know you prefer this over the dating app, which I guess is true. And I know you do. You think WhatsApp's a bit more of a solid comms.

I'm not on any dating apps, so I do prefer that. And it said, so what previous things would you like to ask me? I don't have any questions for this I do prefer that and it said so what previous things would you like to ask me I don't know any questions for this lady but maybe she makes them up here's another good one on my one too

hello I'm Doris your friend recommended your phone number she wants me to reach out to you if you get this message and you'd like to reach out back please do I don't understand

the scam on those ones we've tried to call them back from time to time I'm too scared to actually message them back. But anyway, that's... Well, they pull out just beautiful names too. Hi, is this Kelvin? Hi, Dennis.

But that's surely not going to work. I mean, how many... You'd have to go through thousands of people to get a Dennis or a Kelvin. Yeah. You should just say, hey, like the other one before saying, my friend got you to add me on. Anyway, that's a long play on the scamming game, but there's a lot of it going on on Facebook, on the internet.

That's right. And Ben, we spoke about a scamming documentary I was watching yesterday. And this is a lady who makes over 250 calls a day in Jamaica. And she scams lonely elderly people. Have a listen. Because they're just so lonely and miserable. Husband divorced, husband is dead, wife is gone. Whatever the case may be.

So most of them, lonely. Are they all older people? All older people. One elderly lady, I took everything that she's had, right? And she only had one thing, it was her wedding ring that her husband died. And, you know, she went and she sold her ring to send you the money yeah to send me the money people say it's wrong and it's not to me it's not wrong you send us money once you didn't receive anything you send us money twice you still hasn't received anything are you crazy these people are stupid yeah and that's how she sleeps at night yeah yeah uh so 0800 the hits is the telephone number and we've actually got someone right now on the show. Now, Ben, I thought I knew you.

I thought I knew everything about you. We've worked together for a long time. But it seems not. You are just as bad as this lady in Jamaica. I am? Yeah. Those closest to you. We have one of your victims on the phone now.

Good morning, Bev. Good morning. How are we today? One of Ben Boyce's victims. I'm rattled. How have I attempted to scam you? What happened? Well, I entered a competition and I thought,

gee, I never win anything. But anyway, Ben Boyce told me that I had won. A picnic picked me up. Sounds like something he would say, Bev. And I decided, look, I'm never lucky and I don't win anything, so I've got to clarify this and see whether this is legit or a scammer. And I

did ring your station and asked, and they said no, it wasn't Ben Boyce, it was a scammer. That's crazy, they do this, they get on Facebook, there's been Jono Pryor ones, there's been Ben Boyce ones, they're very quick on the... Bev, I'm sorry, the hits has had to sweep our scams under the carpet. We're getting away with it after hours.

Okay. You know what? We should give you a pick you up. We should pick you up. Pick me up. What was the prize that we were meant to give you that I was trying to scam you in? Oh, well, I hope this is legit now. Now I feel like...

Very elaborate, the scam now We're trying to be legit Let's give her something that's not that Do you like pizza Bev? Yes we do Hell Pizza We'll get some Hell Pizza to you We'll throw it over to our producer

Ben Humphrey And he'll sort that out for you legitimately Thank you for that You're welcome Hell Pizza now delivering beer and wine The best damn pizza in this lifetime And next An inseparable duo Unless I'm on better shows at that. You're welcome. Hell Pizza now delivering beer and wine. The best damn pizza in this lifetime and next. An inseparable duo. Unless I'm on

better shows up. He's just going to replace me with Lee Hart and or Vaughan Smith. Jono and Ben on the hits. Talking about scammers this morning and we've got Debbie on R800 and the hits. And Debbie, you're a bit of a scammer vigilante. Yes. I quite often report scammers on Facebook.

They like to do fake ads for scooters, and I get quite peeved off because I was looking at buying one of those. Right. It's like, no, no, you're not going to rip me off. So I'd go and get them shut down. I'd do some checks. Like, for example, they say they've got a phone number on the website to put it into the search thing that I use.

Yeah. It's fake. And the email address is fake, and then it's pretty clear they're scammers. So I get them shut down. I've had an actual website, a fake website shut down that was trying to sell electric scooters. It was fake. So I had that shut down.

That was 2019. And all through this pandemic, I've had scammers shut down. We had one that had hacked somebody's account here in New Zealand collection. So I had that shut down. Gee whiz, you're like the Avengers of internet scammers. And every time they ring me, they're playing with fire, you know. Oh, I know. And I turn around and say, no, I don't know, you tell me.

And then they'll continue on, and I said, oh, I think you've got the wrong number, bye. And that gets rid of them, yeah. So I've got my little spell to stop them. I told them... Okay, well, listen, shall we do a reenactment here, Debbie? I'll be the scammer, you be Debbie, okay?

You play, this is Debbie starring as Debbie, and Jono starring as a scammer. Can I be the phone ring? You be the, Ben starring as the phone ring? You be the phone ring. Ben starring as the phone ring. Ring, ring, ring, ring. Hello? Oh, hello.

Is that Debbie? I don't know. You tell me. On my records it says it's Debbie's number. No, I think you've got the wrong number, mate. No, I don't. Are you? No.

No? Well, you haven't even let me read out the number. No. No, no. I think you've got the wrong number. I've got a wonderful investment opportunity for you today, Debbie. Not interested, sorry. Not interested in whatever you're scamming, thanks.

Free money. No, not interested. No, no, no, you've come up as potential fraud on my core ID, thanks. Sorry, bye. Oh, but I'm not. No, no, no, no. Oh, you're still there? No, no, no, no.

Still there? No, no, no. No, no, Debbie's still talking. Oh, sorry. Sorry, damn it. I came in too soon. Jeez, you're no, no. Oh, he's still there. No, no, no, no. He's still there. No, no. No, no, Debbie's still talking. Oh, sorry. Sorry, damn it. I came in too soon. Jeez, you're good, Debbie. You don't even give them a chance, do you?

No. No, I've even blown a whistle down the phone. Oh, have you got your whistle? No, I'm not going to do that. That'll blow you when he comes out. Give the whistle a blow. I want to see how this goes. You want to do it?

Oh, okay. Blow your whistle, De goes. You want me to blow it? Okay. It's pretty loud. Okay. Oh, there we go. That's getting rid of you. The whistleblower on the scammers. I love it.

Debbie, you're awesome. We love talking to you. It was great. Not a problem. Look after yourself and keep doing the good work there, Debbie. Not a problem. See after yourself and keep doing the good work there, Debbie. Not a problem. See ya. The Hits.

Where less than average is a career highlight. Jono and Ben on The Hits. The Commonwealth Games is on. It's been really, really good to watch. Every time you turn on the TV, there's another amazing sport with another Kiwi doing great things. Jeez, it would be a difficult schedule to put together, wouldn't it? I wouldn't be able to do it. Well, no. No, when it comes to your game, mate, can you put together wouldn't it I wouldn't be able to do it well no

no I'm going to come to your game can you put this together you look like the the right person to the safe pair of hands to put the what's your experience

I'll sort of do a radio show and put some stuff in there do you choose the songs no no no but I have you got any experience oh well you seem like

yeah why don't we go with you to organise yeah but you're right it would be very difficult to put together a lot of balls in the air. There is. Literally.

Yeah. Especially with cricket, which is on at the moment. Yeah, exactly. Yes, the... What's the score? Two for one at the moment. White Ferns taking on England at the moment. Yeah, the T20 cricket.

Both teams are already through to the semi-final, but this will mean basically the loser of this has to play Australia, who are, like, the best in the world. So you don't really want to do that in the semifinal. Okay. Comm games are on and, you know, yesterday there was some news about an Australian swimmer,

now the most decorated Commonwealth Games athlete of all time, Emma McCowan. She is 19, 19 Commonwealth Games medal swimmer. She was tied at 18 with a South African swimmer. But yeah, 19 medals in total. There'd be countries that would never have got 19 medals, you know, in the Commonwealth Games as a country. She's a country.

Yeah. Like, she's, yeah. Oh, that's incredible. So it did get me into a bit of a wormhole about facts about the Commonwealth Games that you didn't know. The Commonwealth Games not always been known as the Commonwealth Games. First, obviously, they started as the British Empire Games. The Empire Games, I've heard of them.

Yeah, back in 1954. I think it was a bit of a like, hey, sorry for taking over your country. Why don't we have a bit of a laugh? See who's the best. Oh, it turns out England's the best. So that was the initial name in 1954. Then it was changed to the British Empire and Commonwealth Games. Then it was changed again to the British Commonwealth Games in 1970.

Then in 1978, had another rebrand, just as the Commonwealth Games. Right. Now, I did check P. Diddy, who's changed his name nine times. Nine times? So the Commonwealth Games has still got four more name changes to catch up with P. Diddy. The youngest ever athlete. Remember Gold Coast had the Commonwealth Games has still got four more name changes to catch up with P. Diddy. The youngest ever athlete. This was a Gold Coast. Remember Gold Coast had the Commonwealth Games a few years ago?

That's right, yeah. She attended the Gold Coast. And she was 11 years old. Jeez. Yeah. Welsh table tennis player. 11 years old. Well, if she thinks that's special, we've got 10-year-olds ram raiding here.

We've got some people doing some stuff over here, some kids over here. 6,600 athletes attending the game this year. Jeez, that's a lot. That's the population of Huntly attending the Commonwealth Games. And did you know the Commonwealth Games represents about 20% of the Earth's

land and 32% of the population of the world attends the Commonwealth Games. 32%? Yeah. of the world attends the Commonwealth Games. 32%? Sorry, I felt like you were fully floored by that fact. Not what I meant to be. I apologize for that last one.

The athletes, they have to be amateurs to take part. So no one gets paid to attend the Commonwealth Games. You can't be you can't be paid take part it's all free it's all right but then sometimes it's it's we've come sport to sport i mean we're just talking about the cricket right now they are obviously professional cricketers yeah i'm sorry i mean at the game the games you can't be paid but yeah some sports will say you can't be a professional to be able to beat boxing boxing's one of those

yeah yeah yeah the other sports will say you can be professional, but you can't get paid for this gig. Yeah. So, yeah. Yeah, it's kind of like, they're all really good athletes and really good at their craft, but they don't get paid. It's like what we say to all the radio interns.

Hey, you're really good. It's a great experience for you. You've got a future in here. 32% of the world are competing. You should be part of it. Yeah, just so I can get paid. That's right. So that's some stuff about the Commonwealth Games

you didn't know. If you're here for advice on life, you're in big trouble. Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, producer B Humps, we need to get him in here. He's reluctant to talk about this. He's a behind-the-scenes person, producer B Humps. Doesn't like being front of stage. He likes being on the pots and pans in the background.

But we're going to bring you to the forefront, mate. We're going to shine the light on you because yesterday you shared a story about something that you got upsold on in a shop and we are thinking this quite possibly could be the most useless piece of equipment. Yeah. I totally agree. Any human being. This happened overseas,

right? Yeah, I was over in Australia and went out doing a bit of shopping and went into this store and bright lights and loud music. Sometimes the shopping, they make you experience, don't they? Small town boy from Fairleigh, he got bamboozled. Bright lights.

The senses were overloaded. In more ways than one. And yeah, so I was buying a couple of caps. So those caps for your head? Yeah, just baseball caps. And the shop attendant, very thorough, she pointed out, because I selected a couple of caps and took them to the checkout, and she said,

oh, look, if you buy a third, you can get this cool hat, cap, suitcase. Oh, rat. Hat, suitcase. Yeah. A suitcase for your hats. A suitcase for your hats. Just for your hats. Yeah.

So it's in the shape of a hat. So it's just slightly larger so that way when you're traveling, your caps don't get crushed. Oh, it has a purpose. And you'll go back to New Zealand, so you'll probably think it all up. Oh, I thought, you know, oh, what's another cap? I might as well get...

The other cap was $80. And now I've got... Was the hat suitcase free with the third? It was free with the third, yes. So you put all your hats back in there and you took them back to New Zealand? Yeah. Does it have like wheels?

It looks like Saja Blanca going through the airport with my axe. Does it have little wheels on it? No, no, it's just a handheld. Oh, it's a handheld thing. It feels like an invention the store owner made up and said, if one of you guys can sell this. Look at this schmuck coming through the doors.

Oh, she sold the hand suitcase. She's a guy from Fairleigh in New Zealand. Oh my God. But what happens when you're like, sometimes you're only allowed one bag when you go through and you've got to pay for an extra bag. It's carry-on. Oh, so you can carry on.

They can fit in the overhead. Oh, that's good. But they do a good job on the upselling. I was in a shop with Che and my wife the other day and then she was at the counter. They're like, do you want a badge? Do you want a sticker? Do you want a bottle?

Do you want a belt? Just all these little weird accessories they can upsell you on at the counter. for this thing doing you're like oh yeah you know just what were you at the end yeah it's like mate i'm already buying this thing what are you doing so oh 800 the hits or you can text actually four four two uh four four eight seven uh what is the most useless the useless most useless thing you own uh ben i I remember your dad, he bought you a USB fan. What, plugged into your laptop? Yeah, plugged into the laptop

so I could like... Like a sort of... But it didn't have enough power to cool you down. No. It was like an 84-year-old with a collapsed lung trying to blow air on you

to cool you. So you put it into USB on the computer and you're just like, you're feeling a little hot and hot flushed. You put it in... Yeah, that's a pretty...

Where'd you put that USB fan? Yeah, I've definitely still got it somewhere if Dad's listening. I went to buy a cell phone case once from one of those stores, you know, they repair cell phones or they sell cases and things like that. I got upsold into a USB lava lamp.

I've never once... I know, I lie. I plugged it in I know I lie I plugged it in once and I was like oh there it goes and that was it I've never used the USB lavalier

I've got some Mickey Mouse Mickey Mouse salad servers that I bought because they look like Mickey Mouse's hands

but they don't pick up any salad they're no good at picking up if you look at the design of Mickey's hands they're not

conducive to grabbing little bits of tomatoes. Just a couple of dads screaming on the sidelines of their kids' sports games. Jono and Ben on the hits. Commonwealth Games are still on at the moment. Weightlifter David Letty won silver after he won gold at the last Commonwealth Games. It was pretty awesome to see him do this.

There's the extra six kilos. Well, he's the silver medalist. He's not going to take hold of this. He's asking the crowd to help with the list. Silver medalist representing New Zealand saying 26. Yeah, that audio courtesy of

Sky Sports. 394 kgs he lifted. 394 kgs he lifted. 394 kgs. Incredible. And we're to Birmingham right now. We've got David Letty on the line. How are you? I'm good.

How are you guys? We're going good. Congratulations. Appreciate it, boys. Appreciate it. What wild party are you in the middle of right now? It sounds like mayhem. Don't worry about it.

These guys don't know how to party man when you get back to new zealand you're gonna party the pants off new zealand but how much do you weigh if you don't mind me asking oh at the moment uh i weighed in at 183 183 and so what are you lifting above your head on a good day on a good day 185 and 235. So yesterday you just got pipped for gold you obviously you won gold last your last Commonwealth Games how do you feel you happy with silver or do you feel like you need to come back and win gold again in four years? With the circumstances yeah I'm really really glad and really happy about the medal but 20 2026, you know, we're coming back for that back-to-back. New Zealand, so proud of you, mate.

Do they put you in economy class? Like, where do you sit on the plane? Just normal economy, bro. I don't got the money like that. Do you take up two seats? No, I mean, they're a little bit strict, you know, but it is what it is. I still get to fly places and save some money. Good on you. That's the main thing. How painful is it for your body? Or are you just used but it is what it is. I still get to fly places and save some money.

Good on you. That's the main thing. How painful is it for your body? Or are you just used to it? I mean, you were lifting, you know, hundreds of kgs above your head. Do you know straight away if you're going to be able to get the weight over your head? Yesterday, I actually felt really good considering what's been going on and all of that. You know, did what we did and I guess we fell short still.

Hey, you keep saying you're considering what's been going on and under the circumstances. What has been going on? Don't worry about that, boys. Don't worry about that. Just stuff. Stuff has been going on. Now all I want to know is what's going on.

Hey, mate, you can't. It's not up for us to know. It's a Commonwealth Games athlete thing. When I go to the gym, I struggle with the weights. What's going on? Mate, you can't. It's not up for us to know. It's a Commonwealth Games athlete thing. When I go to the gym, I struggle with the weights. I get someone to help me, like a big strong person to help me spot. I mean, who spots you? I mean, no one else will be able to lift those weights in New Zealand.

Nobody, because no one actually likes me at the gym. It's because I steal all the weights. Yeah, for sure. Thank you. Sorry, I'm just talking to Sir Owen Glynn. Sir Owen Glynn? Can we check him on the phone? Yeah, for sure. Do you want to say hi? Who? John Owen

Glynn. John Owen Glynn. Hey, Gilly. Sir Owen Glynn. There was the perfect response. Who? That was a humbling experience, but lovely to talk to you. Where are you guys? We're in New Zealand. We're in New Zealand. We're on the radio. He got the silver, so we're getting a fair back from him.

See you, mate. See you, mate. Thank you, Owen. Sir Owen Glenn, there you go. Full of chat this morning. Not to pry too much into personal space, are they watching you as you're doing your testing? Are there eyeballs on you?

They watch every single inch, bro. Well, they'd just be watching one of mine. The magnifying glass is out, bro. Oh, David, it's so nice to chat to you. We're so proud of you here in New Zealand. Such an amazing effort. You enjoy some downtime, and hopefully we'll catch up with you soon. I appreciate it, boys.

Appreciate it. Two semi-competent dads handing out semi-competent parenting advice. Jono and Ben on the hits. Something I noticed yesterday with the kids, and I remember doing this with my sister, because I guess when you're a kid, you don't have, you're not like an adult. You don't own heaps of stuff.

Sometimes in a family, you're sharing stuff and nothing's ever really your own. So when it comes to having a drink, sometimes a special drink, that's an important thing. If your parents go, you can have a special drink, whether it's like a lemonade or a can of Fresh Up or something like that, you're like, oh, this is special. This is a special time in a kid's life.

Are your children into fizzy drinks? It's a special thing. They drink water 90% of the time, but as a special drink, a pink lemonade or something like that, it's a treat. And also, thing they drink water 90% of the time but as a special drink you know a pink lemonade or something like that it's a treat and also gives me longer at the pub

so it gives them 8 to 12 pink lemonades and dad 8 to 12 whatever he's the thing of I feel sorry for the fizzy drink industry

I reckon it's going to be struggling yeah because my kids are the same and I'm not going oh my kids just drink water I've tried to give them coke.

I'm like, this is amazing. I tried to give them a yard glass of Fanta. They didn't want to borrow it. Yeah, well, that's good. That's good. So you do spare a thought for this fizzy drink industry. But when I asked what my kids did the other night, maybe I don't spare a thought for the thing.

They've had it pretty good for pretty long. So I didn't spare a thought for them and the cigarette industry. But my kids had a juice the other night. They had a special juice, and they were like, we could share it. And I noticed they did the thing that you did, I did with my sister, you probably did with your friends. When you get to share something, someone pours, and then someone gets to choose between the two

just who gets to take the one with the slightly bigger or the same amount. If you get to share a food, that's the thing. And it's a big deal. They're inspecting the glass. They're looking down there like, this one's slightly higher than the other one. I'm taking that one. And then they're trying to top it up. It's such a big deal you know they're inspecting the glass they're looking down they're like this one's slightly higher than the other one I'm taking that one and then they're

trying to top it up it's such a big deal in a kid's life yeah but it's a really great moment in your life when you realise well that doesn't matter no

that's like a freeing moment isn't it yeah but even at school if someone walked around with a drink and this is before COVID people would want to sip

oh no sips or no lips big sips yeah that would be the thing you're like no no you can't have a drink and then they'd go no I won't put my lips on it yeah no lips big sips. Yeah, that would be the thing. You're like, no, no, you can't have a drink. And then they'd go, no, I won't put my lips on it.

Yeah, no lips, big sips. You wouldn't even be doing no lips, big sips nowadays, would you? And then if they did, it would be the big debate about, oh, it's all backwash. It's 30% backwash or whatever the ratio was. Someone asked me a couple of years ago, I was having a coffee. Oh, can I have a sip of that? A sip of coffee? I know. What an unusual beverage to ask for a sip for. Can I have a sip of that? A sip of coffee? I know it's such What an unusual beverage

To ask for a sip for Can I have a sip of it? In the office as well Oh I wouldn't mind a sip of that I was like okay Now you're right You wouldn't be doing it so much With COVID

Especially for It felt weird then to be honest A random office worker Didn't your mate though For a while He was getting his drinks? Like he'd go out Oh yeah

Now this was Yeah this is certainly not Post COVID You wouldn't be getting away With this nonsense He would go to town And Like he'd go out. Oh, yeah. Now, this is certainly not post-COVID. You wouldn't be getting away with this nonsense. He would go to town and wouldn't spend a cent. So he would go to bars and nightclubs and things, and people would be happy having drinks, and then they would put them down.

And while they were sitting on the table or the bar leaner, he would come by and just drink them. Like all night long. All night long. Just imagine the wild viruses. Yeah. Just...

Maybe he's got super immunity now. He doesn't have to worry about COVID. And then people would turn around and go, where's my... He's like,

mate, you're thirsty. You're not even... No, no. Spigsips. No, no. Spigsips. No, no. Spigsips.

Shocking stuff. The hits. They've got pranks. They've got puns. Now they just need some actual listeners. Jono and Ben on the hits.

It's awesome to see concerts coming back like One Republic and we just had Jack Harlow who's like one of the biggest rappers in the world.

His song has been number one for ages and ages and ages all over social media and you know, streaming sites. He was here last weekend, wasn't he? And some wonderful audios emerged from the Jack Harlow concert, which was on Sunday night.

And it's champagne international musician coming to small country behaviour. Where Jack, he's gone to a local area and he's name-checked it on stage and he's got the crowd eating out of the palm of his hand. Yeah, he went to Sylvia Park Shopping Centre in Auckland. And good on him for taking the time to see the beautiful sights of New Zealand. Yeah. Oh, yeah, Sylvia Park Shopping Centre is a great shopping centre,

but you're right, there's a lot of things, you know. The scenery, all sorts of stuff. Oh, no, no, no, take me to the food court at the Suburban Mall. Thank you. Yeah, so he gave a shout out to Sylvia Park. I went to the Sylvia Shopping Centre. Yeah! Goddamn, a lot of love for the shopping centre.

You must all have a steak in that mother******. Jesus. He's like, yeah. There you go. It was a nice shopping centre, though. I can't lie. He likes like, yeah. There you go. It was a nice shopping centre though, I can't lie. He likes the shopping centre. Yeah, it's a nice shopping centre.

It is. And us, the concept of going public, we go bananas for a local reference, don't we? We love it. They've got us eating out. I like it when they're like,

I was in Australia last night and everyone's like, boo! Boo! And I told them they had the most beautiful country in the world. Boo! But then And I told them they had the most beautiful country in the world. Boo!

But then I came to New Zealand, and you have the most beautiful country. And we're like, yeah! And I even asked Jacinda Ardern. Oh, that would get mixed reaction these days. You don't want to go political. That's the thing. A couple of years ago, that would have been, you know. Chris Rock's in New Zealand on Sunday.

Last time he was in New Zealand, he made a Dan Carter reference. Oh, my God. Did it bring the house down? Did it what? Although he did say Daniel Carter. And everyone's like, oh, Dan Carter, yeah. It took a little bit for everyone to go, Daniel Carter had the best game. He kicked so many goals.

You're like, Daniel Carter? Oh, Dan Carter. Yeah, so that took a little bit of time. Well, we did a previous radio station where Jason Derulo, he came. Yeah, it was awesome. So he came and he was doing concerts in three locations across the tour. And I ended up going to everyone because we worked with the station. So you went across and watched him perform.

He was awesome. But on the first night, he was like, I'll leave you guys on a little secret. This is what he's saying to the audience. I've got a new song coming out soon. And my record company, they don't want me to sing it now. They don't want me to sing it. They say, no, but I'm having so much fun. I'm going to sing it tonight for you.

I'm going to get in trouble. We're going to do it. And everyone's like, yeah, nuts. Next night, exactly the same thing. And I'm like, hang on. But the record company people were with you if they're that'd be that'd be they'll be talking to you afterwards go hey mate don't do that again but you're doing it again and the third night same thing again and every crowd loved it

but i was the only one who'd been there three nights in a row going hang on hang on you're not meant to do that you told us two nights ago great play though it was a great play but Giaccarlo just go back to Giaccarlo his song First Class it's wonderful

you just listen to this it's about you know flying first class in an airplane I mean it's pretty cool put you in first class. I mean, that's where you want to go. If you're flying on a plane, that's the dream, right?

But the problem I have with Jack's song is not everyone can relate to the luxury of first class. So we've tried to recreate a more relatable version of Jack Harlow's song First Class You can book us in. Cattle class. Where babies cry. And eat Connor. Me. Eat a cook. Eat. Next to a.

Strange man. Uh-huh. W-E-I-R-D-A. I can shout you in. Cattle class. In those tight seats. Baby vomited. Cattle class.

Up in the, up, up in the. Cattle class. Here we go. It's a much more relatable song. After you've shopped at Sewer Park, you up in the Cattle class. There we go. It's a much more relatable song. After you've shopped at Sylvia Park, you can fly. Cattle class. Scrolling through your feed.

Oh, it's time for scrolling through your feed already, Ben Boyce. Time to news and abuse me. Ben, what's happening? Well, very cool news. Yesterday, actress and model Chrissy Teigen, you all know her. She's a master on social media. She had a great career.

She's married to musician John Legend. She's a master on social media. She had a great career. She's married to musician John Legend. She's revealed that she's pregnant. Now, they've got two kids, her and John Legend, two little legends already. And she went through a very public miscarriage in 2020, losing a very sad, he lost the son that they called Jack.

At the time, she had some very rare photos, very raw photos to Instagram sparing a conversation about the pain of miscarriage. But now, really good news through IBF, they've managed to get pregnant again.

She didn't want to tell anyone for a while, obviously with good reason. And now, past 20 weeks, and now they're pregnant. Oh, that's wonderful. It's very cool.

I'm really happy for the legends. You'd love that, the little legends. I would. You love saying the word legend. You call everyone legends. I do. You think it's condescending. Well, would. You love saying the word legend. You call everyone legends. I do. You think it's condescending.

Well, John Legend changes his name to John Legends. He's like John Stevens or something is his name. And it's a big play. It's a big play to back yourself. I mean, you wouldn't get away with it in New Zealand. We would have our tall poppy choppers out in Fulford. If Jono came in this morning and you're like, now call me Jono Legend, you'd be like, all right, mate. Yeah.

But he can pull it off for some reason. Why would you go, all right for some reason why would you alright mate why would you do that I would I would if you came in and you go I'll get Jono Pride

no no no I'm Jono Legend now you'd be like alright mate that's what I'd say you'd say alright mate what's I'd say that's alright mate

just put you in your place you know like a good kid that's what we do in this country and everyone in this country needs to be put in their place. Don't get too successful here.

Yeah. Now, BTS, you'll know them, the band from South Korea as well, the boy group. They won an American Music Award. Oh, you know us from destroying the song. We played this song a lot, didn't we? Yeah, Dynamite. They met President Biden. But in South Korea, where they're from, basically all men aged between 18 and 28 have to fulfill duties in the military. You have to.

It's the law over there. Now, they got special dispensation to do it after they were, when they turned 30. But now one of the band members, one of the group is going to be 30 soon. So they're like, ooh, they're going to have to, they're going to have to look like they're going to have to do military service. They're just debating over there how long the military service is going to be, whether it's going to be weeks or whether it's going to be years.

They've still said they can perform, they can carry on, they can get together. Why don't they become the military pop group? Like when they go into war. Ah, ah, ah, ah, dynamite. Yeah, so they... And then someone throws a stick of dynamite.

It's like a soundtrack to the war. Dynamite, well maybe. That'd And then someone throws a stick of dynamite. And it's like a soundtrack to the war. Dynamite. Well, maybe. It'd be handy to have a pop band. Yeah, it looks like they are not going to get any real workarounds other than the fact that their time might be a bit more reduced than other people over there as well. What would you have been like in war?

You know, your grandfather you speak a lot of. Yeah. He was Anzac, wasn't he? He was Anzac, yeah. And, you know, like I... Now, did that genealogy get passed through to you? a lot of. Yeah. He was Anzac, wasn't he? He was an Anzac, yeah. Now, did that genealogy get passed through to you? No. No. No.

What would you have been? The military pun? You could be the general of puns. Yeah, I don't think that. You need a pun for this occasion? I don't think they do that. No, I don't think that's true. But full respect to everyone that has done it.

I mean, the people have made the ultimate sacrifice, many of them. Better people than you and me. Exactly. Imagine if it was mandatory here. Yeah, like in South Korea. Well, it's mandatory in the States, I think, a lot of the time. Right. Yeah, sometimes.

And I've got a U.S. passport. Oh, mate. I'll fight the good fight. Yeah, Jono legends. Put them over there. They'll be like, all right, mate. All right, mate. Let's go. I'll fight the good fight Jono legend put him over there they'll be like alright mate alright mate it's our game of word association

we play it every morning on the hits and you can win $5,000 by matching all five words with us Chantel hi how are you yeah Chantel we've got $5,000 up matching all five words with us. Chantel. Hi, how are you?

Yeah, Chantel, we've got $5,000 up for grabs. What is this cash going towards? Let's pretend you've won it. What's the first thing you buy? My 30th birthday is next month. Oh, okay. Oh, it's just a lavish affair with a $5,000 birthday. All right, well, let's see if we can win you some money

to go towards your birthday party. Who do you want to send into the soundproof booth, Jono or Ben? Jono. All righty, let's win. Jono's been chosen a wee bit lately, haven't you, for this? Yeah, I've let down a bit too. He's let down a few people as well. Hopefully not you, Chantel, today.

The first word this morning, what pops into your head when I say Mickey? Mouse. Mickey Mouse, yeah. But so I was thinking badge. B-A-D-G-E, badge. The only thing I was thinking was name badge, but I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what John is thinking.

Yeah, well, let's lock in name badge. But now I feel like I'm going to screw it up for you. That's all right. All right. Okay, you're all right with that? Okay, let's go. Yeah, okay, let's go there. Wage.

W-A-G-E. Wage. Salary. Salary, yeah. That's a good one. Prints. P-R-I-N-T-S. Prints.

Paper. Paper, yeah. And peas. P-E-A-S. Peas. Vegetable. Oh, vegetable. All right, let's bring them out of the soundproof booth and we'll see how we go.

See if we can match up all five words for you this morning. You are going to have a wild 30th birthday, Chantel. I hope so. Yeah, we're going to pay for this. And what's been your favourite year so far of all of your ages? 21st, I think. Oh, 21st. 21st was a good year, yeah. Was it the 21st party I think. Oh, 21st. 21st was a good year, yeah.

Was it the 21st party in particular or just the year? Oh, it was just a good year. Just a good year. Just a good year. I can't even remember my year. There's a few blurry years, sort of 19 through 24 for me. Must have been good years then. All right, here we go, Jono.

Let's see if we can match up. The first word this morning cost us four. Word one, $25. Mickey. Mickey Mouse. go, Jono. Let's see if we can match up. The first word this morning cost us four. Word one, $25. Mickey. Mickey Mouse. Yeah, well done. There's a slice of birthday cake. Okay, you want to go through to the $50 word,

or you want to take your $25? Word two, $50. Badge. B-A-D-G-E, badge. That's a... Yeah. Name? Oh, hey, here we go.

I'm glad you went for that because it was a last-minute suggestion from me. Oh, did you put your good name on the line there? Well, I didn't put... I just said that was what popped into my head, but I didn't know what you were going to say. So you've got $50, Chantal. Do you want to play for the next word, knowing that if Johnny gets it right...

All right, well, shut up. Let's go. Shut your lips. Word three, $100, Chantel. Do you want to play for the next word, knowing that if John gets it wrong? All right. Well, shut up. Let's go. Shut your lips. Word three, $100. Hush those sweet, sweet lips of yours. The $100 word is wage. Wage. Wage.

Salary? Yeah, well done. Whoa, Chantel. Okay, Chantel, big decisions now. Do you want to go to word four, $500? Do you want to take your $100? Okay, all right. Again, shout out, man.

Just let her play the game. She knows how it works. Word four, $500. The word is prince. P-R-I-N-T-S. Prince. Paper's the only word that's coming into my mind. Just a paper?

Yeah. Oh! Shantel! $500 is yours. That's yours. Now, that's a birthday present. That is. That is.

That's some tricks. I'll stay at $500. Yeah, stay at $500. She's walking away. We're going to get Craig David. She's walking away for you one day. Walking away with $500. Yeah, stay at $500. She's walking away. We're going to get Craig David. She's walking away for you one day. Walking away with $500. Chantel, that was a really, really smart game.

Thank you. You feeling good about life, mate? Yes, I'm actually shaking. Well, well done. $500 is awesome. The last word was peas, Jono. P-E-A-S. I would have said frozen peas.

Oh, well, yeah. So you played a good game. Vegetables. I made a good choice. You stepped out at the right time, and that's the key with this new five words. Chantel, smart game, smart player. Happy birthday. Go and have a great day. Thank you so much. Good on you, mate.

Coffee breath. Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, been a bit of a restless week in the household overnight. You know, some weeks you have that, don't you? People aren't sleeping well. You're getting up to go to the bathrooms four or five times. Well, that's what happens, you know, the older you get, the lickier you get. But the more things you add to the household, everyone listening right now will understand,

you know, kids, animals, you know, all can go. You know, like it's the dog that wakes me up nine times out of ten in the middle of the night. Yeah, I'm the same. I'm the same with that. There's a lot going on. I don't know why we've done it to ourselves. There was a time there where you could sleep peacefully from nine o'clock through till 7 a.m. Or even longer.

Longer. You're like, oh, hey. Oh, should we get up at 11? Remember those days? Yeah. We'll get up at 11. We'll go have a brunch. Go brunch.

I'll pick up a newspaper and I'll read whatever I want. You know, remember those days? Yeah. We'll get up at 11. We'll go have a brunch. Go brunch. I'll pick up a newspaper and I'll read whatever I want. You know, remember those days. Remember them. I remember them. Yeah. Yeah,

well, they're gone. They're not coming back. They're gone. They never come back. Well, okay, new season in my life,

Ben. It's a new season. That's right. But it's an enjoyable one. But anyway, so what's happened? I keep telling yourself that, mate.

What's happened? What has happened? You know, there's been a bit of a musical cheers when it comes to the bedding situation. A few restless nights. So it's kind of like a netball team, you know, when they sub people around and you get shifted around in positions and things like that.

So I ended up joining forces with Oscar in the spare bed. And the problem is he's a thrasher. He's a thrasher at night and I'm a thrasher a lot of kids a lot of kids are a lot of thrashing going on yeah it's like uh what someone said just like sleeping with a violent octopus yeah like jerry seinfeld says it's like putting a goat in a in a bag in a sack a goat in a sack the dope wants to get out of the sack yeah which you understand and that's what it's like sleeping next to a goat in a sack but the problem is i'm a thrasher as well so when jen's there she's asleep you know sleeping beauty sort of situation poppy my

daughter she's the same they're fine they're up there they're restless downstairs we're bloody going at it like a uf a ufc fight where we're both asleep he's kicking me in places where you don't want to be kicked and then i'll wake up and the duvet's gone. So I then yanked the duvet back over. And so all night it was probably, I'd say, a six to seven hour just sleep wrestle. Sleep wrestle. And then you wake up because when you're awake, you know what's happening to you.

You're like, mate, you kicked me in there. You did all this. And when he's awake, he's like, you stole the duvet. And you sort of end up bickering when you wake up in the morning. Have you heard that? Well, yeah, definitely not with kids moving around, but also the snoring as well when people, you know, like obviously at some stage of my life I've developed a snoring habit.

Same stage as I developed a leaky habit. Yeah, but people that wake you up, like my wife will wake me up to tell me I'm snoring. I'm like, well, what good is this to me now? Like now I'm awake too. Now we're both awake. At least one of us. You're what? You're snoring

I'm like oh Well sorry I didn't know it was Well what do you want me to do about it I'm sorry I can't I guess I'm awake now So I'm not going to snore

But now it's a race against time To see who's the first To go back to sleep And it's very hard To get it Oh so that's the theory I guess it is Wake him up

Stop him snoring I'll try and get there before he does And then I'm ready to go Doesn't always work up. Stop him snoring. I'll try and get there before he does. And then I'm like, where did he go? Doesn't always work that well. You're snoring. Oh, thanks. Thanks for that. Good for that little update.

Look out. Scary dinosaurs. Not Jurassic Park. It's these guys. Jono and Ben on the hits. Went out for dinner last night, Ben, to one of those restaurants right inside my Bogan Pallet wheelhouse. You know, like the chips, burgers, nachos, pizzas.

That's my happy place. Yeah, it is. Yeah, it's fine. I'd say there's a lot of New Zealanders happy place. And you're not walking away from a meal going, should we pass the drive-thru on the way home because i'm still hungry no you're satisfied yeah yeah you're fully satisfied it's the sort of place you wouldn't tell your doctor about if they asked are you eating healthy anyway went there last night and you know uh sorry went there last night and

they had a young waiter young waiter lovely young guy And I'm telling this story because I have had a checkered history when it comes to waiting. I've walked out halfway through shifts, haven't I? I have eaten food that was left over on people's plates secretly in the kitchen. Done all sorts of stuff. So this poor, poor young guy, he's got a tray of drinks. And he gets a bit wobbly on the tray. Uh-oh. And the tray of drinks Go all down

Jen my wife's back Down the jacket And you could hear him go Oh no You could hear Oh no You never And I felt so

So we all felt sorry for him You never want No It's not ideal When you're waiting to I've poured champagne Down a lady before And then she's like

Don't worry it's alright It's never alright Remember we went A few years ago To the American place That had all the waiting to spot. I've poured champagne down a lady before and then she's like, don't worry, it's all right. It's never all right. Remember we went a few years ago to the American place that had all the wait staff on roller skates. Remember it was a roller skate restaurant and then they were like,

hey, you guys give it a go. We're like, oh, okay. And you ended up pouring a drink on that occasion all over someone's lap.

Yeah. You know, and I was like, well, you shouldn't put me on roller skates. No, I can't even do it without roller skates. It's horrible. You feel like you have to give someone a whole lot of free stuff, you shouldn't have put me on roller skates. I can't even do it without roller skates.

It's horrible. You feel like you have to give someone a whole lot of free stuff. Well, this is where I'm headed. This is where I'm headed. Because then the manager comes out. We didn't kick up a fuss or anything because we're New Zealanders. You don't. You just politely take it there.

Hey, pour a bolognese over my head and I won't complain. But the manager comes out and says, I'm so, so, so sorry. What we will do is we'll play for the dry cleaning of all your clothes. You can have 50% off the meal tonight. Oh, wow. And we'll give you a voucher to come here next time and dine for free. I'm like, jeez. Get a carafe of juice.

Pour it over my head. If you don't every time, yeah. Next time we're going for dinner, I'm just going to go the way to, hey mate, anything you got, chuck it all over me. I'll take it. That's a great freebie. What a great way to get free stuff.

Just get the weight of yourself to chuck food over you and drink. So 0800, this is what we want to open up. 4487 on the text. What have you got free from a company? Yeah. How did you get it? I remember my sister and I,

when we were little, we found like a wrapper of, you know, where you buy like a 12 pack of chocolates and one of them came with not nothing inside so we wrote to the company and then they sent us back a free bag well this is great and so then we wrote back again and they sent us back another free bag we're like we have found the perfect thing and then we wrote back again they went hang on hang on hang on we're kind of it was basically saying well i think we know what you're doing and maybe if you haven't We're like, we have found the perfect thing. And then we wrote back again. They went, hang on, hang on. Whoa, whoa, whoa. It was basically saying, well, I think we know what you're doing.

And maybe if you're having problems, maybe don't buy our particular chocolates anymore. But I'm pretty sure this has happened three times in a row. And they were right. Why didn't you go to a different company? I don't know. Your scam was all off. The scam was off. Are we going to attack the same place?

Are we going to keep going back with the same story? Well, no. The second time they were like... We're not idiots. Yeah, exactly. Bad, bad idea. The Hits. The Jono and Ben Podcast. The world's number one podcast.

Please don't check those stats. Talking about what you got free from a company. A couple of great texts coming through here. Fiji Airways. Delayed a flight and we got a free trip to Fiji. Wow, that's awesome. The old airline industry wouldn't be handing out those nowadays. That's incredible. Would they? Now we have Fiona

on the phone who got something free from a company, but it all started with your mum not knowing about something. What was it, Fiona? The fact that I had a boyfriend that I was having some fun with. Okay, so they didn't know about this? They knew that I had a boyfriend that I was having some fun with. Okay, so they didn't know about this?

They knew that I had a boyfriend, but they thought I was a good girl. Yeah, right. So they didn't know that you were playing board games with them. They didn't know that you were playing hide and seek and all those fun games. Yeah, that kind of thing, yeah. Yeah, right. And so where did this lead? How were you keeping your romance alive?

Well, my mum had to go and pick my brother up from a different part of the UK. So my mum left and my boyfriend was waiting around the corner. So then my mum left, the coast was clear, my boyfriend came in and we played board games together. Oh, you and I. Okay, good. Yeah. And then after we'd finished playing hide and seek,

I said to him to put the thing that we'd been playing hide and seek into the empty dog biscuit box in the kitchen. Oh, so when you're playing hide and seek, sometimes you want to protect yourself, don't you? You want to have protection. It could be raining outside or something. Yeah. Yeah.

So he went and he did that. My mum came home with my brother, went to feed the dogs, and the water protection fell out. Into the dog bowl? Yeah. Oh, no. So he had put it in the full dog bowl? Yeah. Oh, no! So he had put it in the full dog container? Yeah.

It was an unusual place for you to put it, but I guess you want to put it in there? Don't tell me the dog ate it or anything like that. No, no, no, because it was still up on the counter, so my mum was quite distraught, as you can imagine, and she went, oh, my God. And I went, how did that get there?

Good performance. My mum then assumed that it had happened at the production company. At the P3 company. At the pet food company. And, you know, you just go, seriously, this can't go any further. It really can't. But they worked out the batch number of the box when they had casual workers over Christmas.

So they thought it was a vendetta. So then they gave my mam, they took my mam in a limousine to Meltem Mowbrri to show her the factory and where it could possibly have got into. And she got a year's supply of pedigree chums. To this day, she still does not know. Oh, that is brilliant. Oh, my goodness.

She's a really escalator. The whole thing yeah you keep your mouth shut through the whole thing you're like oh god now she's in a limo now she's going to the pet food factory oh god now someone's not getting the casual job back yeah you know when you just can't admit because it's gone too far it was too late to pull out yeah yeah yeah on a couple of levels yeah and then i joined the navy and then that was it it was it was i am well you ran away to the navy i ran away to the navy yeah well thank you very much for sharing mate you have a great day yeah will do. Thank you. It's Spencer Boone in the stars. You're on the hits, John O'Byrne, 8.26.

It's Friday morning. Who's having the best weekend? She is, Takacha Window Vac. Clean any smooth surface like a chap. Yeah, all thanks to Takacha and their amazing Takacha Window Vac. Clean any smooth surface like a champ. Yeah, all thanks to Karcher and their amazing Karcher Window Vac. The top-end and latest window vac model from Karcher could be yours. They're valued at $249. If you want to get one, you can get one online from your local DIY store.

Of course, on 0800THEHITS, and tell us what you're doing this weekend. And we will judge. John, you can judge today because you always put it on me, so I'm putting this on you today. I saw the ad. Did you see the ad for those window vacuums? I saw them on TV the other night. Oh, gee whiz.

Tell you what, they'll clean your windows. You'll be wanting to lick them windows. They'll be so clean. Going to kick it off with Ashley in Invercargill. Oh, Ashley, how are you in Invercargill this morning, mate? You all right? Hey, yeah, not bad, not bad. I'm not going to be in Invercargill much longer, Tang.

I'm moving across. Oh, you're moving to the big smoke? Back home, yeah. We've got a really sick relative, and it's just made us restock our life, and there's better treatment and stuff up there for us as well. So I'm heading home to do some nice family stuff and to look for a house. Oh, so that's what you're doing this weekend. Okay, that's nice.

Heading back to Christchurch to look for a house. Yeah, and I've got a really sick relative because they're going to go make some nice memories and just see some people and see what I can do to help out, really, because I feel a bit bad being so far away. She's done well putting the sick relative into the works. Oh, no, babe.

Well, I'm not playing to play that. I work at the Cancer Society, so I feel a bit bad that I've kind of been MIA when I should be the nurse. Am I going to be a monster if Ashley doesn't win? No, it's fine. She's fair. I'm very kind.

She's lovely as well, too, Ashley. She's so lovely. Oh, let's not take another call then. Let's just give it up to you. No, we're going through the process, Ben. We're going through the process. Richard, please don't tell me you have any sick relatives, Richard. No, I don't.

All right, you're out of the competition. Oh, fine. No, what have you got planned this weekend? I've got friends visiting me from Auckland, so it'd be nice to just catch up with them, eat plenty of food, do plenty of shopping, do plenty of chatting. Oh, that sounds fun.

That does sound fun. Yeah. Food, eating. Are they coming to Hamilton? Yes. Yeah, good stuff. They they're coming to Hamilton. Yes. Yeah, good stuff. They're going to turn off the motorway that they've tried to build to bypass Hamilton. They're going to come and visit you.

That's great. Okay, well, Rich is going to have a good weekend with friends, and we'll go to Carpety, Amanda. Hi, how you doing? What's going on this weekend, Amanda? I've got a dinner with some friends from TR now, so that'll be fun. But I'm playing roller derby tomorrow with all my friends. Oh, we played that sport.

Jeez, it's a lot to get your head around. I saw. Yeah, we were terrible. But there's a lot more rules than I ever thought about. Everyone gets a nickname. What were you? You were Ben Jammin' because I was the jammer. Yeah, I did see that episode, yeah.

I think you were Kid Block After your bogan And you were a blocker I was a blocker Like Kid Rock After my hero Kid Rock I don't say he's your hero mate And what's your nickname

Because everyone gets a nickname On the team What's your role With Derby Nickman Yes Mine is Hot Rod Oh Hot Rod That's good

Yeah I like that Do you choose that yourself Or it gets bestowed on you I got bestowed on me By a good friend, yeah. Yeah, all right, hot rod. Okay, so there we go. Put them on hold because it's less awkward when we put them all on hold, Jono.

No, put them all there. Bring them all up. I want them all up. I want raw emotion. Put them all on, producer Joel. Okay, we've got Ashley, we've got Richard, and we've got Amanda joining us. They're all having wonderful weekends. I want profanities if people are upset.

No, we don't, Ron. Okay, sledge me if it doesn't go your way. No, they're all lovely. Ashley. Yeah. Are you going to slime a cow and drag this out, or are you going to just get to it? You know, come on.

Honestly, I'm happy if you choose Amanda, or was it Richard? Because I like to look after other people. She's so lovely. They're all lovely. They're all lovely with each other. You've got to have to just... Listen, Richard, Amanda, as much as I love you both...

Damn, I should have played the sick rally card. Well, now I feel bad. I'm going to the crowd. I feel like I could play it hard. But the main thing with them moving to Christchurch has taken 10 years. Yeah, well, Ashley, you've taken it out, baby. The only other alternative is

you can all share the Karcher window vacuum. We could have a weekend each, thanks. A roster system. You could just invite people to my roller derby game, you see. That'd be good for me. Oh, yeah. Amanda, where are to my roller derby game, you see. That'd be good for me. Oh, yeah. Amanda, where are you playing roller derby? We're playing at Cufferty College tomorrow at about 2 o'clock.

Go along there. And I'll get up a spreadsheet. You guys can share the window cleaner. I'll hold the line and find something else for you guys as well, all right? Cool. Thanks, guys. Have a good one. Thanks for listening.

Back again next week. Laura McGoldrick joins us, though. Of course, you know her from Brad and Laura in the Afternoon. She's all over the TV on Prime. I think she just got home from the Commonwealth Games. She's going to fill you in on a big sporting weekend next. Hard-hitting

interviews and informed opinion. Mike Hosking on Newstalk ZB. In the meantime, Jono and Ben on the hits. Alright, now she's our official sports correspondent who does all of the work voluntarily. Laura McGoldrick from The Afternoon Show and Prime's Commonwealth coverage.

Welcome! Here we are. Here we are. God, it's good to be here. I don't know if you're being sarcastic or not. I feel like we don't know. We haven't gauged that. We haven't reached that stage of our relationship.

I finish work at 2 a.m. and I know you're getting up about that time, so you'll feel my pain. I'm not feigning enthusiasm, I just can't talk properly. Wow, so that's the... Because you're doing quite a late shift across on Prime for the Commonwealth Games? Yes, but it's good though, because

well, actually it's not good. Look, I'll be really honest with you. So I take care of the mornings. And generally speaking, they're heats and qualifiers. So I take care of the morning's events. And generally speaking, they're heats and qualifiers. So I've only won four medals on my shift and I am copping a lot of heat from the other presenters. Kirsty Stanaway is just cleaning up.

She's cleaning up on the gold medal tally. Well, you're doing a wonderful job there. I do wonder, like, when the sports are on, are you watching them? Do you dip outside for a vape? What are you doing? I'm not a vaper myself, so that's not really an issue. Am I hammering away at a G&T in the back room?

Possibly. No. Because there's so many flippant things happening at one time, there's always plenty to be watching and taking care of. Or I'm on Instagram, like any other good functioning human being. So what's been the favourite thing so far? Because there's been so many amazing moments from the New Zealand team in particular over the Commonwealth Games.

What's been your favourite moment? Look, there's been quite a few, as you mentioned there. Cody Andrews in the judo, when he got through to the final to fight for either a gold or silver, he did the most beautiful interview where he sort of burst into tears and talks about how he'd only been doing it for four years

and to get here was huge and all the sacrifices he and his family had made. God, I was a blubbering mess after that. Well, that was really beautiful. I've really enjoyed the White Ferns, apart from today's game. They've secured themselves a semi-final spot, which I think is really big for them.

Just the cycling team. There's so many highlights. It's all very exciting. Well, that's the thing. I mean, you're probably easier to ask what's been a low light. Because there has been so many wins. It's all very exciting. Well, that's the thing. I mean, you're probably easier to ask what's been a low light. Because there has been so many wins. What's been the lowest moment?

Oh, that's not... Probably the lowest moment was me hoovering my fillet of fish and cheeseburger with mayonnaise on my way to studio yesterday. That was probably the lowest moment. You know, we've had this conversation quite a lot on Drive, which really polarises the crowd. You either love a fillet of fish or you hate it. And I've got to say, they are my favourite.

I don't mind a fillet of fish. I like to combo it up with another burger on the menu. Some I go to, but I don't know. No, it's got to play. Now, I have another question to you. Laura McGoldrick with us doing a wonderful job on the hits. And Prime at the moment covering the Commonwealth Games. You're obviously married to Martin Guptill.

That's not news to you. It's not. No. Although he's not here a lot, so when he does come home, it is a surprise. Who are you again? But do you like, because you obviously, sport's a big part of your life and your job. He's

cricketing 24 hours a day. Cricket, cricket, cricket. Do you talk sport at home, or are you like, let's leave that at the door? He scored 45 overnight, actually. New, won by 16 runs against the Netherlands, just saying. But he, do we talk about sport? Look, we certainly, we both enjoy

sport, but there are obviously other things we talk about, like when we go on a date night, for example, which happens once every five years now, we have children. We just sit and we talk about how tired we are and how much we love our kids and then look at photos of them. And then we have dessert sometimes, which we share because, you know,

and then we go home. It's a reflection on all our lives. How often are they away, like the blackcaps? You know, they're away for months and months, aren't they? Well, he's just doing his three-month stint away now. He's got about another month, I think, to go. Generally speaking, I mean, look, there's been years where he's been away for sort of like eight months of the year.

Gee whiz, that's crazy. How are you coping, mate? How are you coping on a personal level? Talk to us. Like I said, hovering with a load of fishes, smashing the janties. Yeah. And just finally before we go, the All Blacks playing as well. Just if it can't get any bigger this sporting weekend,

they've got a big game against South Africa about two o'clock on Sunday morning New Zealand time. Yeah, it's a huge game for them. And I actually feel really sorry for them because I don't remember an All Blacks team ever really going over to South Africa, which is already a challenging place to tour, under as much pressure from New Zealand

as this team currently is. And it's going to be very interesting to see how they perform, given all of the chat around who's coaching and who's playing and who's captaining. So I wouldn't want to be in there right now. Well, the good thing is when you play overseas and you have a bad one, just don't come back.

Don't catch a flight back. There's a way to avoid the awkwardness. Laura McGoldrick, have a good sleep, Laura. Thank you. Thank you, guys.