Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: The World's Biggest Potato Is From Hamilton!

Episode Date: November 10, 2021

You may have seen headlines all over the place about "Doug The Spud" potentially being the world's biggest potato, grown by Colin and Donna in Hamilton. We spoke to Colin and he is an aaaaaabsolute character and is clearly very proud of his spud. Ben also reckons he has the cleanest socks in the world and his reason why is quite valid. Finally, there are so many sayings that we spout off, but how did these sayings actually begin? Introducing our new segment "What Do You Mean?", we deep dive into sayings and how they came to be... Enjoy the show!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome, how are you? It's Jono here, Ben, welcome.

I'm here as well, yeah, welcome along to the podcast. How are you going? How are you going? I'm going alright. You're even less interest in the... I know. I was like, we've both got the same design hats on today. Both Caldroy NBA basketball hats. You're back in the Miami Heat and I'm back in the Toronto Raptors.

And I can safely say I've never watched the Raptors play one game. Oh, no, I have. They won a couple of years. They're Drake's team, aren't they? Yeah, they won a couple of years ago. That's right, they did too. Yeah, Toronto. I'm all into the NBA now. game of the year oh no I have they won a couple of years they're Drake's team aren't they yeah they won a couple of years ago that's right they did too yeah Toronto I'm all into the

NBA now for some people you previously mentioned on the podcast for some reason we've accidentally bought an entire season's

worth of NBA coverage right all access pass on NBA bloody dot com or whatever it is

so yeah I'm just watching it just to get my money's worth basically we need to watch a few more Raptors games by the sound of it

When the Raptors take on the Heat we'll be wearing our caps won't we? Yeah we will We're actually quite anxious at the moment we're waiting for an interview Producer Humphrey has organised it, B Humps he's not telling us who it is though

and he's like, it's a big star he's got a very famous brother They're in a big show You'll know the show We've all talked about the show a lot Yeah a lot But I'm not going to tell you who it is Yeah

It's an unusual preparation for it Like I normally like to prepare for these things So And I don't know if he's messing with us He's like Oh the person just needs to You know He's all cool with it

He's happy to talk to you He needs a five minute break Yeah And so I'll get him on the phone And so that's why He's like Why don't you do the podcast intro in between? Then this famous person will come on

at the end. Now, from the audience, you'll find out who it is too. We'll have to reveal that in the next podcast or something. Yeah. We'll definitely reveal that. So stay tuned for that one when we all find out together. What questions are you going to ask them? I don't know. Well, we'll have to find out. Who are you?

Apparently it'll be obvious. And we'll know and we'll be quite excited by this. I'm excited. I'm't know. I'll have to find out. Who are you? Yeah. It might be my first one. Apparently it'll be obvious. Apparently it'll be obvious. And we'll know and we'll be quite excited by this. So I'm excited but also nervous as well. Yeah. Behem's, come in here, mate. Let's have a little chat. Because we can't know, but can we ask you any questions?

American or English? American. Oh, your microphone. Oh, sorry. American or English? American. your microphone Oh sorry American or English? American Movie or TV? Both Ooh

Singer? Nah Not that I'm aware of Now the brother That you said Their famous sibling Big? Big

Big in his day This person's career Hasn't gone as big? Probably not as well known In name To be honest When I was booking The person

I actually thought I was booking The dead brother But Alright So what are they promoting? That's probably Giving too much away

Okay But a reality No sorry I can say A reality TV show Alright We'll find out It's very exciting Oh okay

Enjoy the podcast Have a good one New Zealand's breakfast This is Jono and Ben On The Hits Good morning New Zealand Welcome on the show Six o'clock in the morning

Jeez that snuck around Pretty quickly didn't it Oh jeez It kicked it up I left the bloody door Open last night I got up this morning The front door was wide open.

Oh my goodness. Oh, did you? You know when you're just an autopilot at night? Yeah. You just don't even remember what you're doing. You've got to be mindful, don't you? That's what they say mindfulness is all about. That reminds me, I saw an Instagram story from Jenny Sewell from Breakfast,

and she packed her AirPods in her handbag when she woke up for breakfast, breakfast TV, and then on her lunch break, she went to put her airpods in and realised she'd actually packed her floss. Oh, dental floss. Her dental floss, because it looks like a little airpods case. Ah, yes. And she was like, that is just me half asleep, autopilot, not realising what I'm picking up.

And I was like, can relate. But her teeth never looked better. Ben, you're lucky. Do you do a midday flossing? I know you do brushing at intersections in the car. You're a flossing through the day guy? Now and again, yeah. Now and again, I like the flossing.

I like the little attachment one. You know, not the traditional sort of string sort of thing. I can't nail that attachment with like the little spikes on it. Yeah, like I'm a big fan of that one. I've never been able to nail that one. Oh, really? Give me, you know, your old silky,'m a big fan of that one. I've never been able to nail that one. Oh, really? Yeah. Give me, you know, your old silky, the silk one, the blue one. What's that called?

The oral B. Oh, smooth. On the long strings in a situation. Yeah, love it. Wrap around the fingers, cut off the circulation to the end of your fingers. Yeah. Some floss chat for you this morning. I didn't know we were going to start there. Do you remember the floss dance, Chew? Would you like Ben and me to do the floss for you today?

No, thank you. I don't know. It's very good. Hey, we've got $5,000 up for grabs this morning. If you want a wee clue, you want a bit of help, actually a lot of help, go to The Hits Breakfast on Instagram and Facebook. The words for today are up there already.

And very shortly, we're going to catch up with a Kiwi couple who are making international news. Yeah, they've got a Guinness World, well, potential Guinness World record on their hands. Something that was growing in their backyard. We're going to get Colin on from Hamilton before half past six this morning. That's a huge story. Stick with us.

It is the hits. You've got Jono and Ben. Mmm, coffee and breath. Jono and Ben, the hits. Really interesting news about Lady Gaga coming up in Spire this morning. Yeah. I just found it last minute. I was like, this is quite an interesting story.

Now, she's worn a meat dress before, but a very unusual dress she wore to Joe Biden's inauguration. A very, very unusual one. We'll talk more about that later on. She was playing piano, wasn't she? And singing and stuff. Yeah. Something you wouldn't even know was part of the dress. We'll tell you before 7 o'clock this morning.

What did they do with that meat dress afterwards? They sizzled it up on the barbie? Get those sirloins cooking? The mad butcher sold it for like $5.99 a kilo. Oh, the butcher, jeez. That would be his dream lady, walking down the recarpet in a meat dress. It'd be like slow motion.

Yeah, he'd fall in love and melt his heart. Hey, I went to the supermarket yesterday and there's a certain part of I went to the supermarket yesterday, and there's a certain part of the supermarket that, the more I think about it, it disturbs me. There are shelves and shelves of products dedicated to murdering flies and insects. Oh, yeah. You look at this.

We've got a whole section, like a fly genocide section. Yeah, yeah. Do they know about this? do they know that we've got oh you know yeah rose and rose dedicated to ending their life i wouldn't imagine they would know because if they did they'd probably give us a big wide berth yeah they never know what's coming do they yeah it's quite sad when you think about it ben's a big uh he held his family captive last summer because there were too many flies coming in so he wouldn't let them open windows or doors. He didn't let them leave the house.

I get annoyed by the flies. They're the one thing more annoying than the two of us on radio. So yeah, I get annoyed by the flies. So sometimes I'm like, oh, don't open the big doors because then you can, all the flies come in.

It's like they're just waiting for their opportunity as soon as you open it. I sent you over my bug man, didn't I? Yeah. Did he fix it? Yeah. The bug man got involved. Did he help you out or did you still get the door shut?

I still like keeping the door shut. I kept the door shut from him. That was the problem. So he can't come in here either. But there is an interest. They're already brewing, the flies. They're already steaming up for summer, aren't they? Did you guys ever use those tennis racket looking things?

Oh, I love them. Oh, they're so fun, aren't they? The assault rifle we got given. Oh, yeah. We got gifted these things and you put like grains of salt in them. That was the thing that was assault gun. Assault gun, yeah. And you can shoot the granule of salt at a fly and boom.

How do you aim something so small? I don't know. It just happens like a spray, isn't it? I wasn't into it. Ben was like, I can't do it. I was like, I don't want to. I don't want to. And it's just like, I don't want to.

I was like, I don't want this. It wasn't for me. It wasn't for me. Yeah, it wasn't for me. But then he's happy to shut the doors on the flies. He's happy to keep them out there. But I don't want to run around with something that looks like a, you know, it's just like, well, this is definitely escalating what you, you know.

The tennis racket one is a good idea. I love it. And then you're always like, oh, I don't want to, but you always want to shock yourself. And you stick your tongue out on it. What? Have you done that? No.

Give that a go. Maybe I did my elbow, I think, but not my tongue. Yeah, give it a go. It's very, you know, it's like when you used to radio, had wonderful golden years, everyone was cattle prodding everyone. It's like that, but a little less. It's not as intense as a cattle prod.

You know, you don't have to do that. It's not part of the... It's the, you know... I like, I don't, did you have any desire to do that? I would have no desire to do that. No, I don't think so, no. It was just the, I was inquisitive about it. I was like, what are the flies? If I'm doing this to the flies

I want to know what they're going through. It's just a little zing. Yeah, the flies are back for summer. You know, it's one good thing about the hot weather, isn't it? You know, we feel like summer's on the way, but then comes the flies. That's right, Louis and his friends, mate. Broadcasting live

and mostly away. Jono and Ben, mate. Broadcasting live and mostly awake. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits. Now there is a potato, that's right, a potato grown in Hamilton that is potentially the world's biggest potato ever grown. This is making international news. Without a word of a lie, this has gone everywhere. It seems like it's about eight kilos in weight. This thing is enormous.

Yeah, and we're joined by the owner now. Colin, how are you going? I'm well, yourself? We're doing okay. Jeez, you're making international news at the moment, aren't you? Yeah, it's crazy. Crazy? You just got off the phone to the Wall Street Journal, I understand.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Can I just ask, have the Wall Street Journal let their journalism standards slip that they're now doing articles on oversized potatoes, Colin? Maybe it's affecting the, what do they call it? The stock exchange. Yeah, the stock exchange and the futures on potatoes. Yeah, he's rattled the NASDAQ with his giant potato. Oh, you Google it. It's everywhere. I mean, everybody wants to have a slice of the pie. Yeah. Yeah, he's rattled the NASDAQ with his giant potato. I'll let you Google it, it's everywhere.

I mean, everybody wants to have a slice of the pie. Yeah. Yeah, potato top even, eh? Oh, potato top pie. Oh no, mate, no, no, no. What about a slice of the gratin? I do love a potato gratin. Oh, yeah? What about a sip of the vodka?

A potato vodka? Yeah, well, this is the thing. So tell us the back story. You grow potatoes, right? Yeah, just as sort of a top off on what you buy from the supermarket. We've got a little farm here in Hamilton, and we grow sheep, cows, grandchildren. And then you went out to dig the garden and you discovered quite a big potato. Yeah, yeah.

We went out there just to tidy the place up a bit, scratching around in there, yanking out weeds and chucking them in a pile and doing the thing that you do on a Saturday morning. Yeah. Can I just stop and say, can you just believe this man was talking to the Wall Street Journal? I love it. I love that you were just talking to the Wall Street Journal, Colin. Yeah, we were doing the New York Times just the other day.

She sent her in through to us just this morning. It's a Zee Rewear. Fantastic article. I mean, like, these people are, like, making it out to be probably more than it is. Because, like, yeah, we're just out there yanking out the weeds. And look down and there's this, and wifey's yanking them, and I've got the big hoe, and I'm sort of, you know, thrashing away at the soil there, yanking out these clumps of weeds and stuff.

And, hey, presto, there's this thing there. And I look down there, what bloody hell is that? And I looked at it, and I said to the missus, hey, looks like one of those big white Coomeras that we grew the other year. Yeah. And what did wife say? What did wifey say, Colin? And wifey goes, yeah, nah, I don't know.

Such a kid. So anyway, we hopped down on our hands and knees and we started digging away there like a couple of dogs trying to bury our bone kind of thing, you know? And we think, nah, this ain't going to happen. This ain't going to happen. This ain't going to happen. No, we need proper instruments for this. So I grabbed the big garden fork and laid into it. And lo and behold, I hulk him out.

I've got him impaled on the end of the garden fork. And we're both looking at it and we go, wow, what the heck is it? And it was an ugly little fella. Only a loving mama could, you know, give care and attention to. Yeah, Ben described it. It looks like a giant turkey. It looks like you're holding a huge turkey, but it is a potato. Yeah, but all the lumps and bumps and yeah.

So how heavy is it? You've had it, it was about 7 kgs or something? Well, it started off at 7.9 on the day. That's on the scales in the garage that we weigh our suitcases on before we go on the aeroplane. And so this is an unofficial world record. Now, this thing's too heavy to go on as carry-on luggage. You wouldn't even take it on any New Zealand domestic column.

They wouldn't let us board. No, that was too heavy. Too big. It might fit in the overhead locker. It might fit under your seat. How heavy is it? Anyway. How heavy is it? Now, I'll get to it. Hang on. Sorry, sorry, you've got to process. Good thing it's daytime, mate. Anyway, so anyway. Hold on, were you this

bully-ish with the bloody New York Times and the Wall Street Journal, Colin? Yeah, the Wall Street Journal Yeah I was No I was But you guys are more fun You ain't got You're not stuck in the mud But anyway So yeah

And then Like he's We washed him down And everything And stuff like that And he starts Because he's had a big Hunk hacked out of him

And he's been stuck With the fork and stuff He starts leaking Potato juices You've got to leak it Colin A couple of days later I took him into big hunk hacked out of him and being stuck with the fork and stuff, he starts leaking potato juices. You've got to leak it, Colin. A couple of days later, I took him into Wrightson's. You know, where else does a farm and joker go for help? Hey, could I use your electronic scales that are certified and bring it over?

And they go, bloody hell, man. What have you been feeding it? I don't know, mate. It just grew on its own. Come on, let's go chuck it on. And it come out at 7.590. So he'd already lost 300 grams in about three days. Right.

This is panic stations. There's going to be nothing left. Yeah. You know, because we'd already just put in an application on the Guinness Records, and they say I can take up to 12 weeks. And I thought, I'm just going to be left with a bowl of slush. Mashed potatoes.

You know, rotten potatoes just aren't a pleasant thing. We're losing them by the day. So you've dedicated already three days of your life to this giant potato. Yeah, we've got a reply from them, and today I'm going to head into town and do the official weigh-in. Well, listen, this could be a great day for New Zealand and through these dark, dark times, Colin, it's just what the country needs.

Exactly. And that's why we've made such fun of it and enjoyed it and let everybody else enjoy it as much as we have. Doug the Spart. What a wonderful story. You sound like such an awesome person. We really loved talking to you this morning. Hey, good on you, fellas.

How's that? A potential world record for the biggest potato grown in Hamilton. Well done, New Zealand. We've done it. It is the hits. You got Jono and Ben. Hard-hitting interviews and informed opinion. Mike Hosking on New Salted Bean.

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Ben and Jono call this show Jono and Ben. Breakfast on the Hits. I want to try something different right now. What do you mean? We're calling this What Do You Mean? We want to take a saying that many people use and you probably used yourself and then we want to find out

we want to have a guess as to what the origin story what was the origin what's the backstory if marvel were doing like a movie on it what would that story be and we'll see if we're right and uh we'll live google and see what the actual story is with their saying well it's a lot of the time you just blindly go through life saying stuff don't you i know when i'm having a conversation i know probably 80 of the things i'm just praying to god that they make sense to the conversation I'm engaged in. I always go, no skin off my back. And then my wife is like, there's no skin off your nose. I always thought there was no skin off your back.

I don't even know what that saying means, but we can get that out another day. Yeah, mate, don't bring another saying into an unprepared saying in there. So we've already perceived upon a great saying that we're going to research. But that is a very good one, so we'll do that one next time. And there are a lot of sayings out there. So we've already said upon a great saying that we're going to research. But that is a very good one. So we'll do that one next time. And there are a lot of sayings out there, but today we're just going to focus on there's no use crying over spilt milk.

The reference being that, you know, don't worry, something's happened, you can't fix it, sort of thing. That's what I'm gathering it is, right? I love that saying. I think it's so good. But it's also like Check your priorities I mean who's crying

I mean if you are that person That's going to be crying You're like Come on mate You're just having a bad day And it's the straw That broke the camel's back Yeah

Here's another one And it depends What you spilled it on If you spilled it on In a you know Nice pair of slacks Your mother-in-law It depends

The situation Of the spilt milk that's being, because I have spilled a lot. I haven't once cried, though. No. Have you thought about crying? Even if I'm having a bad day, I don't know if I'd ever get to the stage of crying. Like champagne, if I spilt champagne, that's a liquid I'd probably cry

and go, oh, my God, that would cost me $100. Yeah. And a bit of milk, it's like, well, I could get another one from the dairy. It's not the end of the world. Yeah. I mean, there's some pretty high stakes if you're crying, aren't you, over spilled milk? So we're going to all have a stab now as to what we think the origins were,

why this saying was invented. And then we're going to find out live as we go. Juliet, you can put your case forward. As in so why it originated and how it originated? I reckon it was a toddler who spilt some milk, cried, and the mum or dad was like, mate, it's done. Don't worry. We'll fix it.

That's pretty good. Was that kind of what you're looking at? Yeah. It's one of those words, milk, too, looking at. The more you look at it, the weirder the word is. The more you read it. My whole case. But, you know, you look at it written down, you're like, what is this?

I'm going to say that someone was lactose intolerant at the time and someone went, no, you're just crying about it, mate. You're lactose intolerant. And that's how they found out they were lactose intolerant. Yeah, so they're going to have to have some sort of soy-based alternative. 22 different types of milk in America, I was researching last night.

Wow. Yeah, 22 different types of milk. I started dabbling into the almond milk again, but then I felt like a complete tosser. So I backed out of the almond milk. Yeah, well, that's one of 22 types of milk. And the process of making almond milk, you want to hear about that?

Involves soaking almonds. Because I was like, how does that work? How do you get like milk and almonds? Yeah, you soak almonds in water overnight for up to two days. Wow. The longer you soak the almonds, the creamier the milk will be. You drain and rinse the beans from soaking water and grind them into, you know,

so basically it's water and almonds and, yeah, you make almond milk. Wow. So they're not actually milking. You don't just get your index finger and your thumb and just gently up and down. Come on, mate. I've made a few almonds and I've never once got to the milky part. So I was like, how does this work? I actually walked in on him milking an almond.

And I was like, what on earth? You always talked about that, actually, with the first person milking a cow. Yeah. That was always your thing of like, who was that first person that took that risk? And why did they think of it, too? There's been a lot of risks taken over the years of the discovery of food and drink. Isn't there? We would have lost so many good people.

Oh, we would have. Trying berries and all sorts. Okay, I'm going to go no use crying over spilt milk. Maybe it was a milk manufacturer. The tanker tipped over. A lot of milk, a lot of milk. Cost the company thousands. In that case, I'd say there is a lot of use crying over spilt milk,

but you want to Google that now and find out. Okay, so we'll have a look here. We've all been there. Something disappointing happens when someone says don't cry over spilt milk. But you want to Google that now and find out? Okay, so we'll have a look here. We've all been there. Something disappointing happens when someone says don't cry over spilt milk. Okay, it dates back to 1659. Wow. The saying

in a farmer's shed say a farmer did spill some milk. Quite a big amount of milk. And his workmate said, hey, there's no use crying over that, mate. Back again tomorrow. Well, mate, was he, or was he going to lose his job?

He's like, I should have cried over it, because I lost my job. In fact, don't come back again tomorrow. You're sick. 16, wow. So that was the origin of the saying. Wow. There we go.

Over 360 years old. He's still using it, and still not really entirely sure why he's still using it, but it's one of those same. Wow. There we go. Over 360 years old. He's still using it and still not really entirely sure why he's still using it, but it's one of those things. Jono and Ben, just like family. The family members you're ashamed of. Scrolling through your feed. Alright, does someone

call Uber Eats because he's here to deliver the news. Ben Boyce, what's been happening over the last 24 hours? Well, Auckland retailers. Shops are open again for the first time in pretty much three months today. And they reckon it cost Auckland's central businesses experience a loss of about a billion,

$1 billion over the last three months. So, yeah, that's... And that's not even the bars and restaurants opening up. Is that factoring in the bars and restaurants? I'm not sure. Sorry, I just read a cut and paste. It sounded dramatic. But I don't know any more details on that,

so I could be entirely wrong. But, yeah, so last night even there was people queuing up yesterday afternoon outside one of the malls, Sylvia Park. And we were like, well, there's people queuing already. It's not open until the next day. But there was a store, JD Sports, a big sports store, opening up for the first time at 12, pretty much at midnight last night. Right.

And, yeah, so lots of people queuing up for that one to get shoes and all sorts. Oh, when someone said that they were queuing up, I was like, please don't tell these people about online shopping. That would be absolutely devastating. Mind you, Juliet, you were like, yesterday you said, I'm so going to go out and go shopping. Oh my goodness, I know. I think I was initially going to go out today after work, but I think it's a bit like

the supermarket panic buying. I just want to wait until the queues die down a bit and then I'll kind of hit the shops. Isn't it funny you've missed spending money? I know. You must have saved a lot. Yeah, yeah, but I did blow a bit in the last week online shopping.

But, you know, you've got to do what you've got to do. What do you need? Because I always see you fluttering away on your computer on all sorts of aid sauce and everything. Do you know what? I bought a coat that was over, that was retailed at over a grand, discounted, pretty much brand new, for only a couple of hundred dollars secondhand. Wool coat. I was like, that is a bargain that has made my lockdown.

Great for summer. Perfect for these months. It's a good time to buy the winter stuff on sale, I tell you. Yeah, well, you bought something that's great, but then you're like, oh. It's like when you see things like togs at the end of summer, but you're like, oh, shit. Why weren't these cheaper?

I know, I know. You're like, I'm going to order Christmas decorations the day after Christmas. You probably should buy them then, but you're like, oh, I don't want to. Do something now that your future self will thank you for as my model. January 15, Julia is going to be putting on that coat, love and life. And the Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern, who is going to be visiting Auckland for the first time in three months today.

Well, no one's really sure where she's going or what she's doing. How can we prove she's here? She could green screen it. But she was basically on a live, a Facebook live the other night and she was talking about Waikato and the outbreak and she was talking away at her house and she got interrupted

by an adorable visitor. Have a listen to this. It's safe but you'll see that great assertion tea for business. You're meant to be in bed darling. It's bedtime darling. Pop back to bed. I'll come and see you in a second. I'll come and see you in a second. I'll come and see you in a minute, okay? Sorry, everybody.

Yeah, Nanny will take you down to bed. Thanks, Nana. Well, that was a bedtime fail, wasn't it? How could you? That's how she talks to us at the press conferences. Nanny even drops a girl like the journalist like Tova and Jessica.

Team of 5 million. Yeah. She's like, I know it's taking a while. You know what else is taking a while? Lockdown. It's taking a while. When are you going to put us to bed? Jacinda. Oh, that was very cute.

If you've had anything that can rival Jacinda? A Zoom or a video call blowout We'd love to hear from you this morning 4487, happening to all of us We've all been video calling up a storm over the last couple of years Didn't your friend Have his partner had a naked incident

Behind the camera? Yeah, it didn't change behind the thing Didn't think the video call was on Awkward It's hard not to When something's going on in someone's background too I didn't think the video call was on. Awkward. It's hard not to, you know, when something's going on in someone's background too, you're like, oh. Yeah, you do get a bit nosy. That's the first thing I look at.

I like to look at everyone's surroundings. Okay, a little glimpse into their life. People sometimes do it in front of bookshelves to look more distinguished. You're like, mate, take us to the left of it. Swing the cam over. All the dirty washing and all that is just piled on the ground next to that. So give us a text or call this morning, 44870800. If you had a blowout like that.

Going hard and ooey. Go hard, go ooey. Go hard and ooey. Hard and ooey. Go hard. With Jono and Ben. New Zealand's breakfast. Spy. No WhatsApp.

Spy.co.nz. Now to a collection of stories about people who you would probably secretly film if they came into a restaurant. It's truly, it was Spy. Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga. Sorry, I got that Trump thing stuck in my head. Have we got that audio around where Donald Trump talks about Lady Gaga?

Is he like to call her? Now he's got Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga. I could tell you plenty of stories. I could tell you stories about Lady Gaga? Is he like to call her? Now he's got Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga. I could tell you plenty of stories. I could tell you stories about Lady Gaga. I know a lot of stories. Lady Gaga. I could tell you stories.

Because she was very pro-Joe Biden and against Trump, and so he had that to say. It was Donald Trump. He never did tell us those stories. He could tell plenty of stories. I could tell you some stories about Lady Gaga. So Lady Gaga in January, she performed at Joe Biden's inauguration. And you might not remember, but she wore this sort of big, puffy, red and black dress when she performed.

And she revealed quite recently that it was a bulletproof dress that she wore at the inauguration. Because obviously at an inauguration, anyone can turn up. And in America, you know, it's kind of very split on if you're a Trump supporter or if you're a Biden supporter. It was a volatile situation. Might still be over there at the moment. Yeah. And so for safety, she said that her dress was bulletproof. But I saw the story just before 6 o'clock this morning.

I was like, oh, this is very interesting. Let's talk about that but then I sort of read further into it and the designer themselves have said that the dress itself wasn't actually bulletproof, however they can't speak for what Lady Gaga wore underneath. Lady Gaga, I could tell you some stories

about what she was wearing underneath Maybe she had bulletproof Spanx on or like shapewear or something And the dress is, it does look like she could very much easily wear a bulletproof vest underneath. Maybe they just told her it was a bulletproof dress. She's like, I'm fine. I'm all safe. Yeah, but it's quite a smart thing to do.

I mean, if you were forming it something that big, probably you'd want to be. Well, Gina, he liked designing clothes and things. You know, having to add a bulletproof layer of protection would really make things difficult in the design process. Yes, because I've never really seen or felt a bulletproof vest, but I imagine it's quite tough to sew, a bit like leather. You know, it'd be quite tough, so it'd be quite hard to sew that in there. But she did say that performing at the inauguration

was one of the proudest days of her whole life, and she's probably had quite a lot of career highlights, like kissing Bradley Cooper. And that's better. We all wanted to kiss him some more, didn't we? We all wanted him to ruin his marriage. That weird situation, eh? When he was married, but everyone wanted them to be together. I know.

Orkeys. They were like, have you heard of acting? Yeah. They're like, they're so good on screen, they should be together on screen. Yeah, they're good at their jobs. And Kanye West, also known legally now as Ye. His shoe and clothing brand

Yeezy has been sued $1 million for slow shipping. So it kind of seemed, just from that headline, that that's quite drastic. But, it's alleged that Yeezy had engaged in false advertising about the shipping and failed to send online orders within 30 days. So that's why he was sued.

But a million dollars is coming out of that clothing company's pocket. I think he'd be right. He's worth $1.8 billion. The company, they might recoup from that. Him and Drake have been having a lot of beef, haven't they, back and forth? Yeah. I saw Drake was doing a giveaway of Yeezys on his Instagram. Oh, was he?

Was he? That's funny. And then Kanye's gone and said, hey, why don't we go and do a show together? Yeah. We'll both perform our albums, put all this madness aside. Yeah, he wants to settle the beef. It'll be a long show.

Yeah. I mean, two of them doing their albums from start to finish. I mean, don't get me wrong, it'll probably be a great show, but geez, it would be a long night. It would need to be like a festival within itself for like three days.

Yeah, you're like, what, do we get a little bit of half-time intermission between these? Yeah, surely you get a half-time intermission, right? Surely, surely. Go get some tangy fruits or something. And that is bye for this hour. For more, you can head to the hits.co.nz. Remember, New Zealand, be kind.

And if you can't be kind, be mean behind their back. Trust me, though, we're talking behind your back. Jono and Ben. New Zealand's Breakfast. New Zealand's Breakfast. This is Jono and Ben on the hits. Good morning, New Zealand. Just gone seven o'clock This is Jono and Ben on the hits. Good morning, New Zealand. Just gone seven o'clock here with Jono and Ben on the hits.

Yesterday, there were a lot of thousands of people protesting at Parliament, protesting anti-vaccination mandates and lockdowns. Speaker of the House Trevor Mallard said it was the biggest increase of security they've had in Parliament since his election in the 80s. The most amount of security you've seen there. Jesus, Mallard's his election in the 80s. The most amount of security you've seen there. Jesus, Mallard's been around since the 80s. 1984. I love how you're focusing more on that than the

protests. That's the real news story. How's Mallard still kicking there? There was a lot of people there and there's a certain percentage of people who are against what has been happening, lockdown. And I think the core issue, from what I gather, for people who are anti-vax, anti-lockdown, is being told what to do.

When you break it all down, it's like they don't want to be told what to do by the establishment, you would imagine. Yeah. A lot of the time. Although I saw a clip on the news, there were three sort of pro-Trump anti-vaxxers. They're giant Make America Great Again flags. And they had a theory, which I'm kind of buying into, to be honest, that Jacinda Ardern

went to the White House as part of an international child trafficking ring, which New Zealand is involved in. She's fronting it. She's fronting it, obviously. And she currently has an ankle bracelet on. They're keeping a track on who the US are. She's got an ankle bracelet on? Yeah, just be careful. I don't know if they can trust

her next time we talk to her about that as well. Of course there was protests and big sort of roadblocks at the borders as well. A police officer actually got bitten by a protester in Auckland as well when things turned into a bit of a scuffle as well. So you know.

It's tough enough as it is. It is tough enough for everyone. It's tough, you know, you feel for everyone out there. You know, and this is not the sort of news you want to be talking about, I guess. But that's what's happening in the world right now, unfortunately, isn't it? And, you know, the majority are waiting on the minority to kick things back into gear. To get things in. And that's, I think, a frustrating thing for many people, isn't it?

Yeah, well, good news today. Shops are open in Auckland and we're getting one step closer to getting things hopefully back to some form of normality. You can bite everyone in the shops, can you? Yeah. And one thing that's happening this week that's pretty cool we're going to talk about next is free fish and chips at a different place, a different town or city around New Zealand,

and Thursday and Friday we'll tell you how you can win that in your town next. They're proud of New Zealand. Go New Zealand! If only New Zealand was proud of them. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast. On the hits. You're on the hits, Jono and Ben. There's Ben Harper on a Wednesday morning, 7.08.

We were giving away free fish and chips all through November, which is pretty awesome, right? It's blowing up. Last week, Christchurch and Nelson, Thursday, Friday, got free fish and chips thanks to Heinz Ketchup for two hours at lunchtime. Drove the places crazy. They've gone into lockdown just recovering from those two days.

If you want to win free fish and chips this Thursday or Friday in your town or city, then go to the hitstock.nz and register right now thanks to Heinz Tomato Ketchup. Now we've got, I guess you could call them the fish and chip version of Gordon Ramsay. Probably with a little less swearing though. When the chips are down, this man picks them up, puts them in his mouth and reviews them. He is New Zealand's official fish and chip shop reviewer.

Albie Wilson, you're the legit one, are you? Yep, yep. So yeah, look, this journey started this journey started just last year lockdown. I got into that rabbit hole of watching lots of YouTube channels and one of those was food reviews from overseas. I figured, what's our version of that? I figured fish and chips. And I love fish and chips, so why not take my phone around the city

and eventually country and check out the fish and chips stores. That's very cool. So you post on social media, right across social media, one fish, one scoop. So is that what you buy every time you go to a place? Yep, just the standard. So I go in, I don't announce who I am, what I'm doing. I just regular person off the street and ask, can I just get one scoop and just your standard fish. I don't go for the expensive fish, just whatever they have, standard. I thought you might

have gone in like that TV show Undercover Boss where they wear like, you know, giant cowboy hats and moustaches and things. Hello, my good sir. Here's a piece of your finest offering from the ocean, if you would. No, I try not to stitch them up. I just go in casual as, once

they've given me the order, I let them know what I'm doing and just, yeah, let them know that I'll be posting it. And if they want me to promote their store, then yeah, I'm all good with that. What makes a good fish and or chip? A big thing to me is the oil. Fresh oil helps the fish a bit of a crunch to the batter. Not too dry, not overcooked in the middle. And the chip, yeah, just crunch.

I'm a big fan of my crunch. If you see my videos, I'm all about the crunch. How often are you eating fish and chips for this? Doctor advised me maybe three times a week, but sometimes I push it. Oh, yeah. I mean, that is a wild consumption of fish and chips. I mean, I'm a big fan.

I'm a big lover. You're a Friday regular, aren't you? Yeah, I'm only once a week, but wow, you're putting me to shame. If we just listen closely, are those Albie's arteries just crying out for help? Again, I got my check with the doctor. I'm good to go. Oh, good. Well, it's a really cool thing you're doing.

You must have got a bit of a name for yourself. Do some stores know when you turn up? They're like, uh-oh, Albie's here. Yeah, well, I found out that the fish and chip community are pretty tight and word does go around, which I don't mind. If they know who I am, that's cool. We have a chat. But the big thing, it started off as a bit of banter

and, yeah, this is going to be a fun thing. But now actually promoting small business, they've had a mozzer of a few years. And, you know, any way I can promote, especially fish and chip stores who work day and night, to provide, you know provide great quality food, if I can promote them and get people out of their normal local and trying something different, then yeah, why not?

What a great, it's got a great overarching theme to it. Are you a fan of your Sea Lord Fish Fingers? Yes. Yeah, my daughter obsessed with them. That's all she eats, Poppy, the Sea Lord fish fingers. Yes. Yeah. My daughter obsessed with them. That's all she eats, Poppy, the Sea Lord fish fingers. She thought the show was sponsored by Sea Lord once, Ben. And she got quite excited, right? Yeah, she did, yeah.

And the deep-fried sausage. I'm a big backer of that. Nice. Yeah, I love a sausage. My go-to away from fish and chip is probably a deep-fried crab stick. Oh, okay, crab stick. Oh, you forget about the crab stick, don't you? Yeah.

Now, it seems to be, we talked about this the other day, it seems to be when you order something like a potato fritter, you often get chucked in extra potato fritters. Is that like an unwritten law of the fish and chip industry? Yeah, it's a bit of an urban myth, but you can find that they don't really count, they just grab and throw, and you might find yourself with an extra one or two.

Who's running the best shop in the country? The best score, if you go through my channel, the best score so far, which is about a, I'd rate them out of sevens, the highest score would be Bobby's Fish and Chips in Tauranga. The fresh fish, it was moist in the middle, it wasn't overcooked, the batter was light, but it was crunchy, and their chips just had that crunch, golden crunch. Aesthetically, what does a fish and chip shop need inside? The decor. That's a great question.

So the old fish species of New Zealand, toaster. Oh, yes, I know that one. Everyone knows that one. With about 50 fish on there, yes. In Christchurch in particular, people say there's urban myth or urban legend in Christchurch. Ron L. Griffith, he's a psychic medium. His advert is always in a fish and chip shop,

and they say if his advert's in your fish and chip shop, you're pretty decent. Right, Ron L. Griffith, psychic medium, beautiful. And the old handwritten signs, they've spent lots of money on the board, made it look beautiful, then they've crossed it out or taped it over and written in the other. I love it when the, obviously

inflation price of fish changes and they have to get the white piece of tape, don't they, and rebrand it. Albie, I love your work mate, so nice to chat to you and people can check you out at One Fish One Scoop. Appreciate it guys, thank you, love you mate. Albie Wilson, New Zealand's official fish and

chip reviewer. And if you want free fish and chips for your town, thanks to Heinz Ketchup, the hits.co.nz will be announcing tomorrow's winner on Thursday tomorrow, isn't it? Yeah. Tomorrow and Friday. So head to the hits.co.nz and nominate your town or city or your favourite fish and chip shop right now.

Two dads just trying to fill some air time. Some might say it's pointless, but the main thing is it fills in some air time for us. That is the main thing. John and Ben, breakfast on the hits. I think I might have the cleanest socks in New Zealand. I think that's a statement that I think I'd like to put out there. Now, I don't know if this is genius play by me

or just laziness from me. I often do the washing at home and have been, you know, for a while. There was a period there where you were sneaking it off to the laundromat and not telling your family. Yeah. And it would come back all pressed and folded. That was part of it, yeah. Really?

Very impressive. And I was like, oh, my gosh, you've done ironing? Folding skills, unbelievable. Wow. This dirty laundromat secret. Relating to a problem that I think many of us will have. For some reason, it seems like you put your washing out you know with your particularly with your socks and often it will come back and somewhere along the line you've lost a sock yeah you know the

socks have gone from a relationship situation to being in singles I've always wanted um what's his name David Lomas to do uhces, the laundry edition, where he reunites socks and bits of clothing that has been estranged from its partner. So over the past year, and it's been over a year, there's four particular socks. And I know them. I know them because I do the washing. They come out of the washing.

I can't find when they get dried or what. I can't find the partner. They're single socks. Not even Sock Tinder would find a partner for it. And then so I will put them back through the wash again, not knowing what to do. And they have gone through the wash and the drying cycle for a year, for a year, these full socks.

In the hope that the washing machine goes, oh, I know you, mate. Oh, yeah. Well, I hope I'll find them somewhere else I may have it but I just keep putting them back I don't know what to do with them at the end there's no partners for these ones I'll just put them back in again and I was like these socks have been going through

for a year it can go on for years until you finally go you've just got to throw them out although my wife Jennifer this is probably one of the most anal things I do in my life I can't wear mismatched socks. Really? My daughter's like that as well.

For summary, I can't. And Jen would happily go through life with, you know, different. She could wear an ankle sock, one that goes halfway up her leg. And I just can't do it. I've got mismatched socks on right now. Don't even show me. I've got ones the same, exactly the same style, but they've got days of the week on it. So I don't have a problem wearing a Monday with a Friday.

Oh, no. I couldn't do it. Really? Because they're exactly the same style. But my daughter always pets it up going, hang on, you've got to wear your Monday with the Monday. I'm like, the same sock. It doesn't matter. I mean, so what I'm saying is you could get these single socks, hook them up with some other partners.

Yeah, well, true. Match them to get like a sock, you know. It's a sock group effort. See what works. They'll all try some stuff. Oh, I work with you. Okay, you know. Do you reckon it's an embarrassing situation for the socks to go, you know, single or lost mother?

You know, like, do you reckon it's one of those situations? I always feel kind of a little bit sorry for the socks. I don't want to get rid of them, but I kind of like live in hope that they'll match up again. I just want to know what you've done with the other socks. What do you mean? Yeah, what have you done with them? Why have they gone missing?

Well, that's the thing. I don't know. I was looking online. It seems like sometimes the machine can. They can. They can get sucked into the machine. They can slip through a hole and trap between the metal washing bar. And, you know, they can get sucked.

But I was like. He's done the research. I've done the research. He's done the investigation. But I'm also not smart enough, you know, to open up the washing machine and have a look. I always thought Fisher and Paykel had hooked up with the sock industry. They're going, okay, here's a play, guys.

I can boost sock sales. We rub your back, you rub ours sort of thing. That's very true. Hey, we've got $5,000 on the way for you very shortly. If you want a clue, go to the Hits Breakfast on Instagram and Facebook. The words for today are there right now on our story and you can play next and win five grand.

Sorry, are we still on air? Yes, we are. Someone just texted with a great idea. Jono and Ben, I'm listening to the sock saga. What you need to do is have a nationwide sock amnesty. So everyone who's got the single socks, send us a photo and if you've got a matching one

you can match up. We'll make it like a sock Tinder and then you'll be like swipe swipe through it's a match. This is great, what a wonderful suggestion, thank you very much. Let's do Tinder for socks. We'll do it next week. Yeah right, you know that admin's going to fall on you. Oh god. Can you create a whole sock

Tinder? Yep, oh I'm on it. That'd be great. Get the algorithms going, mate. That is the hits you got, Jono and Ben. Your essential listening for non-essential banter. I thought I was saying something meaningful there, and then I backed out. Jono and Ben, New Zealand breakfast.

Five words for 5K on the hits. You're only five words away from a massive payday. It is our game of word association. We play it every morning at this time on The Hits. We tell you five words, you tell us the first things that pop into your head. If those five words match up with ours, you win $5,000. Sarah, come on in from Gizzy, Gizzy, Gizzy. Oi, oi, oi.

How are you this morning? I'm good, thank you. All right, we're ready to spray some cash into your bank account. That'd be nice. Yeah, give the Inland Revenue something to investigate with an unusual amount of money being deposited. What do you do, Sarah? I'm a teacher.

Oh, lovely. Very nice. Fair Ben's wife teacher. I always like to say that when we talk to a teacher. Yeah, it feels like we could bond over. Probably you'd bond better with my wife than me because you don't know us. Do you know Ben's wife?

No. No. Thought you might, being teachers. Yeah, yeah. We do all know each other. Yeah, I thought so. Okay, Sarah, what are you going to spend 5K on? Probably a trip away with my family, yeah, if.

If it happens. Now, have you checked out the words today on the Hits Breakfast Instagram and Facebook? No, no, I'm just going to wing it. No. You're just going to wing it? She's going commando. Yeah. Okay, all right. Well, that's fun. Okay, don't want to get in to wing it. She's going commando. Yeah. Okay.

All right. Well, that's fun. Okay. Don't want to get in your own head. That's probably not a bad option. Now, who do you want to choose, though? Jono, Ben, or Producer Juliet? Jono, please.

Okay, okay. Just so you know, I'm going commando today as well. Maybe this is a sign. Yeah. All right, Sarah, you know how the game works, right? Yeah. All right. Here, Jono is in the soundproof booth.

We have a wee booth, an actual booth in the corner of the studio. Here we go. Your first word this morning is Elon. E-L-O-N. Elon. Musk. Yeah, Elon Musk seemed like the obvious one. Paris is the second word this morning.

Paris. France. Paris, France. Nice. Jess, Juliet, how's it going so far? She's matching with me so far. Alright. Coachella is word number three. Coachella. Coachella? Yeah.

Coachella like, well I'm not going to say like because that might influence you, so yeah. I've never heard of it. Coachella. Have you never heard of Coachella? No. You've never heard of Coachella? No Oh You've never heard of Coachella

Well this is going to be interesting Yeah Mate Is this We could move on And if there's someone around you You could ask Yeah

To see I'll ask my kids See if you've got a quick Quick Google Am I allowed to Google? Yeah we can Google Because you don't know what Jono's

You don't know what Jono's going to say. Oh, my daughter knows it's a music festival. Yes. So I will go festival. Yeah, festival. That is exactly what I was thinking. I'll go, my daughter's here. Yeah, yeah.

So festival is good. Spaghetti is word number four. Pasta. Spaghetti pasta. And finally, extinct. What is extinct? word number four? Pasta. Spaghetti pasta. And finally, extinct. What is extinct? E-X-T-I-N-C-T, extinct.

I'll go species. Species. All right. Are you happy with your words? Yeah, yeah. I'm not sure with the species one, it could be. Yeah, yeah. Let's just do it. Let's just do it, species?

All right, we'll grab Jono from the soundproof booth. Thank you. We'll see if those words match up. Okay. I'm going to play a viciously quick game, okay? Okay. This is going to be very quick. All right, Joe.

Elon. Musk. Well done. Paris. France. Well done. Two from two. This is good.

Maybe this is the way you should play it every day. What do you say when I say Coachella? Festival. Quick is good. Spaghetti. Pasta? Oh, we're one word away Oh, Sarah We're one word away

Extinct Producer Humphrey's polishing off his cannon His confetti cannon We'll see, we'll see This was tricky This was tricky Extinct is the word Extinct

I'm gonna go dinosaur Put your cannon down, Producer Humphrey I need a dinosaur. Put your cannon down. Put your cannon away. We were so close. Sarah, where did you go? Sorry. What did you say?

I said species. Extinct species. Sarah, you did really, really well. Sarah hadn't even heard of Coachella as well. So to get Festival was exactly what you thought was a really, really good effort. She, oh, mate, it doesn't get any closer. I'm so sorry, Sarah. It's all right. Thank you, though.

All right. Will you say hello to Ben's wife, Amanda, for us? Yeah. You did so well. Hey, hopefully we get to do it again with you, Sarah. That was lots of fun fun but not quite there today Another chance tomorrow to see if you can win $5,000 That is the hits

Taking over all your favourite song intros Jono and Ben the Heads Here to say some words So Jono and Ben don't have to Juliet what's going on in the spot So Pete Davidson, comedian He was on Seth Meyers' late night TV show and quite cheekily hinted at his potential relationship with Kim Kardashian.

They've been hanging out a lot recently and he kind of had this to say. I want to address something. I feel like I want to confirm if it's real or a rumor. You've been reading a lot about it in the press. Yeah, you know, I've been wanting to talk about this because. Thank you. We appreciate you doing it here. You know, there's a lot of people I walk by, people are like whispering and, you know,

making eyes at me. And, you know, but it is true. I do have a show on Tubi coming out. Yeah. So they were on for that he was, you know, obviously in decay. But maybe he's kind of saying that, being like, well, Kim Kardashian is true. Yeah, he was like going on and going, a lot of people are surprised that I'm on Tubi. You know, that's what they used to be saying.

Yeah, like him, is he on Tubi? Yeah, he is. They keep going, they've gone for a private dinner. They went and had a private dinner. Well, it's not that private. Yeah. Us in New Zealand know about this private dinner. Yeah, right, actually.

That's a very good point. Who was meant to keep it private? Because they did a shocking job of it. Very good point. And there is a clip going around on the internet. You may or may not have seen it, but it's very good, and you do need to watch it if you haven't, where Jeff Bezos' girlfriend, Lauren Sanchez,

is basically fawning over Leonardo DiCaprio at an event in LA. So it's a video kind of taken from far away. Her and Jeff Bezos are standing by Leonardo DiCaprio, and she's standing so close to him and physically looking up to him because she's so close to him, giving him these big, loving puppy dog eyes. And everyone is like, wow, you are into Leonardo DiCaprio. But Jeff Bezos is like, oh I've got a boner rocket.

Take your eyes off DiCaprio. You can tell she's just I mean everyone I mean I'd be like that with Leonardo DiCaprio stroking his face and stuff. But you'd hope that she'd be able to sort of contain herself a little bit and act like a normal human being. It's Leo, though.

Yeah, it is. Do you reckon Leo, is the novelty of that worn off for Leo? Just have everyone he talks to just wanting to hop aboard? Yeah. That would be the thing, right? Yeah, that's true. He'd be like, I probably could if I wanted. Yeah.

You know? Just can I be bothered in this moment? So I'll go and get some canapes. But the funny thing is is Jeff Bezos did post on Twitter a picture of him standing next to

a sign kind of in a bush saying danger steep cliff fatal drop and captioned it captioned it Leo come over here

I want to show you something so kind of like yeah but it seems like he's doing it with a bit of humor yeah it seems like a great place

to air your marital issues exactly and that is Spy for the South for more you can head to air your marital issues. Yeah, exactly, exactly. And that is Spy for the South. For more, you can head to thehits.co.nz. After 8 o'clock, we're going to talk to a world record, potentially New Zealand world record holder, someone who has grown the biggest potato. Yeah, that's right, in Hamilton.

Now, this is the news New Zealanders found it on. You know? Yeah. There's all this other stuff that we're getting distracted with. Back to giant pieces of produce that get us on the international stage. Well, that's making huge world news. We're not lying. We'll talk to this person after 8 o'clock.

New Zealand's breakfast. It's Jono and Ben. Good morning, New Zealand. It's just gone 8 o'clock. You're with Jono and Ben on The Hits. Lots happened today. Shops are open in Auckland for the first time in around about three months. 1 o'clock is also the announcement regarding schools.

A bit of an update around that, particularly schools in the 09 region. And the government yesterday, I thought, found this really interesting. Because there's festivals potentially happening over summer, they're hoping they are. Well, the government are going to underwrite upfront events costs that cannot be recovered in the event of cancellation. So they're basically sort of putting their money in towards it to hopefully keep these things happening over summer. Wow.

Is it too late to start a festival? Is it too late for me to start? Might be hard to book some bands and stuff. Johnny Fest or something? I don't know what I'd call it. Something cool. No, there was the Fyre Festival. You did the Fyre Festival.

Oh, the Fyre Festival. Oh, wow. Remember the Fyre Festival? The documentary on Netflix is a wild, wild documentary. Yeah, the Fyre Festival. There we go. It's official. Get your tickets now.

Juliet, one you and your mob there, okay? Alrighty. I'll have all sorts of stuff going on. What sorts of stuff? Oh, don't ask me just yet. I've got to sign some deals. But the government will be underwriting a lot of the costs. Just you know there'll be stuff.

And if there's not enough to sell tickets to the Pride Festival, I don't know what is. I get to see the poster now, Pride Fest. All sorts of stuff going on. You're like, what was playing? I don't know, mate. It's all sorts of stuff going on. Just you come and you'll see. There's all sorts of stuff going on. Just you come and you'll see. There's all sorts of stuff going on.

That's why I tell you, I went. There was stuff there. Yeah, it just kind of went on. Hey, next on the show, we're pretty happy, you know, that business is starting to get back to normal in large parts of the country too, particularly Auckland today with retail opening back up. What we thought we'd do is offer a chance for you, wherever you are, whatever level you're in, we're not going to discriminate

to phone up and promote your business. Okay, it's going to do open for business next and we're going to give someone a chance to win an ad, priceless. What price do you put on this? I don't know. Maybe some tickets to the prior festival. All sorts of stuff going on. That's the hits you got, John. I'm Ben.

Tested safe for listening from home. Keep safe. And that's all I have to say. Thanks, Dr Ashley. John Owen, Ben. New Zealand's breakfast. Hey, yeah, retail back normal today. Auckland, level 3.2.

Is it? There's 25 people in a shop or something, isn't there? I don't know. You can use the toilet in there if you ask. In fact, if you're not even buying anything, just walk in and ask if you can borrow the toilet. I don't think that's the case. I think those are the rules.

What is the case there is retailers opened up today and obviously they want to keep some social distancing. They want to limit the amount of people that are in the shops. But it is good because it has been pretty much three months. Tough for all businesses too. Yeah. In particular in Auckland. But across the country as well, operating in level two as well.

You're just not operating. You're not running on a Hyundai. A Hyundai. That's right. You know the saying. Yeah. I mean, this show's never been running on a Hyundai, has it? And we just hope one day that once this COVID thing comes through that we do.

We do start running at 100. So what we thought we'd do right now is give you a chance to advertise your business, big or small, whatever, open for business. 0800, that hits the telephone number, we'll give you 10 seconds to plug the business. Any more than that, we start to come under the watchful eye of the powerful salespeople upstairs. Because you keep saying, what price do you put on this advertising? Well, they put a price literally on that advertising. Yeah, so some of us will have to answer some questions.

Probably B Humps will have to do this. He fields us from all that nonsense, does he? So, oh, 800 the hits. But in the meantime, we're going to give somewhere a call in your hometown, Ben, a clothing shop chance for them to win an ad. Yeah, we've written half the ad. They've just got to fill in the blanks, but they don't know that we're calling. That's the thing.

So she's either won an ad or won 60 seconds of awkwardness trying to promote her business in a fluster. We'll see what it is. We'll go through now. Good morning, Milady Cheryl speaking. Hello Cheryl, is that Milady, fashion and lingerie? Yeah, it is. It's Jono

and Ben from The Hits. You've won an ad for your business. Yeah, right. Oh, no. Have you heard about one of the Kiwi businesses? It's the... That's where you come in. Oh, is it? Milady Fashion. That's right.

And Lingerie. Don't forget the Lingerie. And the Lingerie, yes. That's correct. And some saucy negligees of sorts. Famous for its popular... Ladies Fashion. Oh, Ladies Fashion. And some saucy negligees of sorts. Famous for its popular... Ladies' fashion. Oh, ladies' fashion. And lingerie.

And lingerie, yes. And don't forget the crowd favourite. Oh. Well, don't go, oh. Oh, yes. Clothes. Clothes? And lingerie.

And lingerie. And lingerie, yes. But wait, there's more, because that's not even the best thing about them. Let me tell you about it right now. We have handbags from where clothes and lingerie. And who could forget their catchy slogan? Do you have a slogan? Yeah, we do.

And what is it? That's a slogan that never escapes my memory. We put you on the spot here. You're doing so well. You put me on the spot. I'm not good with on spots. No, you're doing well. Maybe that's your slogan.

I'm not good with on spots. No, we're doing well. Maybe that's your slogan. I'm not good with on spots. And their wonderful staff, who sometimes like to reveal a secret about themselves live on the radio. Oh, no. You didn't fall for that one, did you? All right, fair enough. Make sure you check out... Milady Session and Lingerie in Marsden.

Yeah, that's how you do it. Whereabouts in Marsden are you? On the corner of Queen and Perry. Ben knows it well. He grew up there. That's his old stomping ground. The who? The Ben Boyce.

That's me. He always says he's Marsden's favourite son. No, I don't know the voice. The people used to talk a lot about me, but now they talk a lot about the lingerie at Milady's, so that's taken over. Yeah. Lovely to talk to you.

Hey, lovely to talk to you guys too. You have a good day and keep making people laugh. You too, you've been awesome. We'll send you out a Wild Bean voucher so you can shout the team some coffee for Monty. Oh, thank you very much. I take it. You have a good one.

Oh, wouldn't you love it? She's great. Milady. We're for the discerning shopper in the Wairarapa. She was so awesome. If you want to win an ad, give us a call. Give us a call this time. 0800 THE HATS will give you 10 seconds to plug your business anywhere in New Zealand.

Tell people you're open. Tell them what you do. And hopefully we'll get some people coming into your shop next. Another day at home with the kids. in New Zealand. Tell people you're open, tell them what you do and hopefully we'll get some people coming into your shop next. Every time you come around. Another day at home with the kids. Little tip, it's called parenting not babysitting. Jono and Ben. New Zealand's breakfast.

Businesses open in Auckland but not just in Auckland, right around the country and we thought we'd try and stimulate the economy through the radio show right now. With free advertising. Now, you know, this time, this is not what our company needs. Is it? Handing out free advertising.

No, you'd be right, actually. Bogsy from upstairs, he wouldn't be happy about this. Questions are going to be asked. We're going to be called into Bogsy's office, aren't we? Bogsy's not in the building right now. Oh, great. We can have it on Zoom. All right.

So 0800 the hits. We're going to give you 10 seconds to plug your business. We're going to stimulate the economy to the point where the economy's like, mate, I'm fully satisfied, nothing else you can do for me. Grant Robertson, he's going to have to shout us a Prezi card or something for what we're doing for the economy, I think, right now. So we'll kick it off with Dale. You've got 10 seconds to plug your business.

You're open for business, Dale. Take it away. Hey, we're in France Joseph. We're the France Joseph Wilderness Tours. We operate away. Hey, we're in Franz Josef. We're the Franz Josef Wilderness Tours. We operate kayaking tours, boat tours, fishing charters, scenic cruises, stand-up paddle boarding, mountain bike hire. We've got some incredible combos and package deals for families. Oh, just on the buzzer there as well. So many activities.

Sounds amazing. I haven't done any of those activities. Those are lifetimes worth of activities you just listed off there, Dale. Oh, I just give a bit of a dabble at everything. Friends, Joseph, wilderness tours. It's on my bucket list of places I'd love to go. You see the iconic pictures of the snow and the ice caves and stuff. It looks incredible.

Yeah, yeah, it's a pretty amazing spot. Now tell me I'm alone looking at glaciers and snow-capped peaks and two minutes down the roads of the lake. I'm just looking at Ben's flat-peaked hat. It's the only peak I'm looking at right now. Has it been hard for you? Not that we want to go all doom and gloom.

Has it been tough the last 24 months, Dale? Yeah, it's been a pretty tough time the last 18 months. But the last three or four months with Auckland in lockdown, we're really missing those Aucklanders down here. They're a big part of our economy and what we do. Well, hopefully we'll come down there one day

and I'll swipe my credit card through your terminal, okay? Sounds good. I'll shout you guys a trip. Good on you, Dale. Take care of yourself, mate. I appreciate that. Let's go. Let's give away some more free advertising. Jeez, we're too generous. We blew out the 10-second limit there, didn't we? We got into a whole conversation about glaciers. Yeah, a bit of off-bander stuff.

All right, let's get it on with Chris from Nelson. Yeah, that's right. I said let's get it on, Chris. Ten seconds to advertise. Yeah, a bit creepy, but I'll roll with it. Ten seconds. Chris, take it away. There you go, guys.

My name's Chris. We've got a party company in Nelson which we specialise in zoo animals to your home. So we do parrot shows. We do reptiles. We've got spiders. We've got scorpions. Oh, Chris! We do little educational trips to your home. We do a lot of

preschool visits. We do like brownies and scouts and cares. We just teach children about animals and don't be afraid of spiders. Leave them in your garden to have fun. Generally stuff like that. No one is abiding by my 10 second timer

I've got you a load of times in there mate, what's so savage it was really interesting I'll send you the invoice for that one What a great business, has it ever gone bad? You know, you turn up with a bloody scorpion or something to a 5 year old's birthday

It was actually quite funny. We had one of our biggest reptiles on a carpet one day, and I was in the room dealing with the parrots, and all of a sudden the kids started screaming and saying that the lizard was giving birth. And it wasn't giving birth. It was actually going to the toilet on their own. Oh, Chris, love your work, mate. The website people can go and visit?

We're actually on Facebook. It's Sabres Party Animals on Facebook. And we're in Nelson, so check us out. There we go. Sabres Party Animals. We'll take one more. Clint, maybe Clint might abide by my 10-second rule here. You're open for business, Clint.

Take it away. Well, he definitely has so far. Yeah, good. He's too scared. Maybe I've made him too gun-shy. He's gone the opposite direction. He's like, oh, no. I'll just now get it out before the 10 seconds.

I've got a note on what Clint does. I'll be Clint, OK? OK. G'day. Clint here from Wollaston. I'm from Heartland Feed and Nutrition. If you like feeding and nutrition, visit me. Oh, yes, that was a really unenthusiastic sort of effort. Oh, was it more because if I did it as me, people might think,

what's Jono? Jono's not doing Heartland Feed and Nutrition. There was no heart. You didn't put the heart in Heartland there, mate, did you? But if you want to be fed and nutritionalised, then visit Clinton Rolleston. There you go, open for business. Go out there, support the businesses, you know? Do it safely, but you're right. Get out there and support the businesses. It'd be great to get the economy moving again.

Rise and shine. Time to start the, um, who are we kidding? When are the both of you? Jodo and Ben. The Heads. We're looking at some big news from a small town. Downtown, downtown, downtown. Now, this is, you can't get bigger news than this.

There's something that's happened in Hamilton. A couple are found growing in their garden a ginormous potato. This thing is huge, and it seems to be a world record-sized potato. You described it beautifully. You said it looks like a naked turkey, a turkey that's almost embarrassed of its nakedness. Yeah, it looks like you were. If you thought of a huge Thanksgiving turkey like the one that Joey had on his head and his head and friends, it would be like that. Yes, it's one of the ugliest vegetables both of us have seen

but we don't want to offend the vegetable in question because its owner is with us right now. Colin, how are you doing? I'm well, yourself? We're doing okay. Jeez, you're making international news at the moment, aren't you? Yeah, it's crazy. Crazy, you just got off the phone to the Wall Street Journal, I understand.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Can I just ask, have the Wall Street Journal let their journalism standards slip? That they're now doing articles on oversized potatoes, Colin? Maybe it's affecting the, what do they call it? The stock exchange. Yeah, the stock exchange and the futures on potatoes. Yeah, he's rattled the NASDAQ with his giant potato. Oh, you Google it.

It's everywhere. I mean, everybody wants to have a slice of the pie. Yeah. Yeah. Potato top even, eh? Oh, potato top pie. Oh, no, mate. No, no, no.

What about a slice of the gratin? I do love a potato gratin. Oh, yeah? What about a sip of the vodka? A potato do love a potato gratin. Oh, yeah? What about a sip of the vodka? A potato vodka? Yeah, well, this is the thing. So tell us the backstory. You grow potatoes, right?

Yeah, just as sort of a top-off on what you buy from the supermarket. We've got a little farm here in Hamilton, and we grow sheep, cows, grandchildren. And then you went out to dig the garden, and you discovered quite a big potato. Yeah, yeah. We went out there just to tidy the place up a bit, scratching around in there, yanking out weeds and chucking them in a pile and doing the thing that you do on a Saturday morning.

Yeah. Can I just stop and say, can you just believe this man was talking to the Wall Street Journal? I love it. I love that you were just talking to the Wall Street Journal, Colin. Yeah. Can I just stop and say, can you just believe this man was talking to the Wall Street Journal? I love it. I love that you were just talking to the Wall Street Journal, Colin. Yeah, we've done the New York Times just the other day. She sent her in through to us just this morning. It's a fantastic article. I mean, like, these people are, like, making it out to be probably more than it is.

Because, like, yeah, we're just out there yanking out the weeds. And look down and there's this, and wifey's yanking them, and I've got the big hoe, and I'm sort of, you know, thrashing away at the soil there, yanking out these clumps of weeds and stuff. And, hey, presto, there's this thing there. And I look down, what the bloody hell is that? And I looked at it, and I said to the missus, hey, looks like one of those big white kumaras that we grew the other year.

Yeah, and what did wife say? What did wifey say, Colin? And wifey goes, yeah, nah, I don't know. So anyway, we hopped down on our hands and knees and we started digging away there like a couple of dogs trying to bury our bone kind of thing, you know? And we think, nah, this ain't going to happen. This ain't going to happen.

No, we need proper instruments for this. So I grabbed a big garden fork and laid into it. And lo and behold, I hulk him out. I've got him impaled on the end of the garden fork. And we're both looking at it and we go, wow, what the heck is this? And it was an ugly little fella. Only a loving mama could, you know, give care and attention to. Yeah, Ben described it.

It looks like a giant turkey. It looks like you're holding a huge turkey, but it is a potato. Yeah, but all the lumps and bumps and yeah. So how heavy is it? It was about 7kg? Well, it started off at 7.9 on the day. That's on the scales in the garage that we weigh

our suitcases on before we go on the aeroplane. And so this is an unofficial world record. Now this thing's too heavy to go on as carry-on luggage. You wouldn't even take it on any New Zealand domestic column. It wouldn't let us board. No, that was too heavy. Too big.

Won't fit in the overhead locker. Won't fit under your seat. How heavy is it? Anyway. How heavy is it? Now, I'll get to it. Hang on. Sorry, sorry, you've got to process.

Good thing it's daytime, mate. Anyway, so anyway. Hold on. Were you this bully-ish with the bloody New York Times and the Wall Street Journal? Yeah, I was. No, I was. But you guys are more fun. You ain't got, you're not stuck in the mud.

But anyway, so yeah. And then, like, we washed him down and everything and stuff like that. And he starts, because he's had a big hunk hacked out of him and he's been stuck with the fork and stuff, he starts leaking potato juices. You've got to leak it, Colin. A couple of days later, I took him into Wrightson's. You know, where else does a farming joker go for help?

Hey, could I use your electronic scales that are certified? And bring it over and they go, bloody hell, man. What have you been feeding it? I don't know, mate. It just grew on its own. Come on, let's go chuck it on. And it come out at 7.590. So he'd already lost 300 grams in about three days.

Right. This is panic stations. There's going to be nothing left. Yeah. You know, because we'd already just put in an application on the Guinness Records, and they say I can take up to 12 weeks, and I thought, I'm just going to be left with a bowl of slush.

Mashed potatoes. You know, rotten potatoes just aren't a pleasant thing. We're losing them by the day. So you've dedicated already three days of your life to this giant potato. Yeah, we've got a reply from them and today I'm going to head into town and do the official weigh-in. Well, listen, this

could be a great day for New Zealand and through these dark, dark times, Colin, it's just what the country needs, you know. Exactly. And that's why we've made such fun of it and enjoyed it and let everybody else enjoy it as much as we have. Doug the Spart. What a wonderful story. You sound like such an awesome

person. We really loved talking to you this morning. Hey, good on you fellas. How cool was that? A world record potato growing out of Hamilton. What a character. Jesus, I tell you what, Colin's one of those people that only graces your radio show once a lifetime. We'll be talking about Colin for years to come, Ben. And that

great potato, that could be a world record holder from Hamilton. It is the hits. You got Jono and Ben. The show where the masks make them look a whole lot better. Can't save this battered up old face here. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast. Ben, you like movies, don't you?

I do love movies. Big fan of movies, don't you? What about the credits? Do you sit through the movie credits? I feel like these days when you watch a movie on TV, like the old school, they feel like they're always shifting the credits off to a little box and putting some other box for you to lift out. They're really not giving the people that worked hard on the movie their best attention. Sometimes when you see the credits on TV too, they're even playing them in fast forward.

It's like not even the credits could be bothered sitting through the credits. But my friend, I was talking to him on Zoom yesterday, he's in Tauranga so he was over at his mum's house and his cousin had worked on a film. And so they watched the movie. He enjoyed the movie, loved the movie. And his mother's like,

we must sit here and wait for Chris's name to pop up in the credits. He's like, why? We know he worked on it. Like, if you want to see his name, I could write his name down. You can see his name. But no, we're going to sit.

And they had to sit through the entire credit. Chris wasn't right until the end of the credits. They go on for a while sometimes if you try and sit through them. And don't get me wrong. These people work very hard on films. They enjoy their credit for it. But it's not something that you translate to other industries. You don't get your car fixed and they go, working on the car was Mike, Carol, Tony, Sarah.

And who are the credits for? Apart from the people who worked on the movie and maybe a proud mum here and there, they're not really for the masses, are they? No, it's probably for the people that worked hard on it. Their name is recognised alongside the people that were on screen. That's why I hope I never, I never get invited

to a Hollywood movie premiere. I don't think that's going to happen anyway. Well, that's the main reason why I don't want to go because you'd have to sit through the entire credits at the end

because you're there with the people who worked on it. You're like, Brad Pitt, mate, listen, I know you're in the movie.

Do we need to see your name written up? I've just watched you for 90 minutes. Oh, you're a associate producer as well, eh? Oh, well done. By the way, I'm sitting next to Brad Pitt at this premiere too, by the movie. Do we need to see you written up and just watch you for 90 minutes? Oh, you're an associate producer as well, aren't you? Well done.

By the way, I'm sitting next to Brad Pitt at this premiere too, by the way. I'm starting to insert myself in this hypothetical

situation. And you're almost with disdain at his success and career. Oh, this is why I regret becoming friends with you,

Brad. You drag me along to your boring premieres, make me sit through your credits. You never could be friends with me.

That's why we work out. I'm not making you sit through my Hollywood movies because I'm being editing that's why our relationship's going to last and it's not going to happen, I'm not going to be in any Hollywood movies so you know, you don't have to sit through a credit ready for my name to come up so we credit as due just not for me

what more Jono and Ben you can wake up with the boys weekdays from 6 on the hits and via the iHeartRadio app Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from sex on The Hits and via the iHeartRadio app. Jono and Ben on The Hits Breakfast. Friends of Skinny.