Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: This Lady Caught Her Husband Cheating... At His Funeral!

Episode Date: February 20, 2023

Crazy cheating stories! Charity drive kicks off tomorrow  Will the boys go on Love Island A cash and car scandal! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

If we think of some things that we can record. Oh yeah, but... Oh, sorry Joel. Sorry Joel. There we go, Joel. Welcome, this is the John O'Biden Podcast. Thanks for the challenge. Petrol service stations.

We are less than 24 hours away from embarking on our charity drive for the Red Cross Disaster Relief Fund. We're raising money for those affected by... Oh, good music. Oh, the chariots of fire the charity drive the charity of fire yeah

that's good there could be another one where we light you on fire for charity do I get do I get a suit or are you I don't know

you can if you want I mean I'll do it for charity the budget doesn't stretch that far it's all for charity yeah sometimes they really do on social media too is like

remember do the ice bucket challenge and Oh that was massive wasn't it? Yeah. You know ALS I think that was

Razor Manicor right? Yeah. Put your buddy lock your ears in a vice for charity. It got a bit wild there for a second didn't it? Yeah it did.

Yeah. Really yeah. We did the ice bucket challenge. The vanilla ice remember? That's right. Yeah. The giant bucket of ice. We used to do it for. The vanilla ice, remember? That's right. Yeah. The giant bucket of ice. We used to do it for the cyclone relief as well.

Oh, we could. If you want to douse us in the ice, it might be a good little wake up. A Wim Hof way to wake up in the morning, you know? I'm still doing my cold shower, by the way. Oh, yeah. Just the final 10 seconds. I tried it once. I meant to report it.

Yeah, what did you think? That was as bleak as it. If anything, it made me angry about the day i was trying to make me like oh i was trying to convince me to do a cold chair it just made me like because i was feeling good feeling like waking up and then i was like oh this buddy you put your cold shower on try try it and make you feel so i put it on and i was like oh that's uncomfortable and awkward and then i did the other side oh that's it and then i was like oh yeah so it kind of just got me in a bit of a huff

getting out of the shower. But the thing is, you need to breathe through it. I just watched Chris Hemsworth on Limitless. He did it. And it's all about the breathing. You can't just go, oh. Yeah, but he's doing it. He's not doing it from the comfort of a warm shower.

He's just like jumping in there. And it's freezing. I get it. It's pretty incredible what he does in that show. So you're not going to, you're not going to, I'm not even Wim Hof. Oh, I did think about the Wim Hof.

I did think about it. But hold on, you won't even have a five second cold. No, but I like my showers. I don't need to, like, you know, it needs to be separate from my showers. Wim Hof and then I can shower

in the warm shower, but not combine the two. Right. Okay. So are you thinking of getting like a big gallon drum in your backyard? No, I'm not going that far yet.

Look, I haven't done it yet. I've only done it once. Maybe you maybe do it for some radio thing with Art. Art Green, too. Way to make me feel intimidated, getting into an ice bath with Art Green. He's got a... He looks like a Ken doll, his body. A magnificent doll.

A Ken doll with a penis, though. I've got the Ken doll downstairs here. Read you. You're Ken doll from the waist down. He's Ken doll from the Kindle downstairs here. Read you. Your Kindle from the waist down. His Kindle from the waist up. Yeah. I definitely was after that. I was back to,

Jesus. My thing is though, it looks very, like, where are you dedicating, what part of your house are you dedicating a giant,

whacking, great bucket of ice? Well, Art Green's got it in the freezer, isn't he, at home? Like, he's got a freezer all the time.

Yeah. So he goes downstairs to whatever, and I say it like I've been to his house, Art Green's got it in the freezer at home. Like he's got a freezer all the time. Yeah. So he goes downstairs to whatever and I say it like I've been to his house but he told me that and he goes downstairs and yeah.

To the deep freeze. Pops in the freezer. Jeez. Ready to go. Yeah. Breathing his way through that. He got Matilda in there the other day too.

She's probably like, oh jeez, why did I marry this guy? He's chucking me in ice baths. Yeah. But no, they're a very, very fit couple. Yeah. Yeah.

You thought that they weren't together. And you always bring this up with them and it's awkward. You're like, mate, it's all because they weren't together on the show. I heard that was one of you and your tinfoil hat rumours. Yeah. You're like, they're broken up. It's all for publicity. They've just got to say they're together for the show.

For MediaWorks. Yeah. I was like, they signed a deal with It's all for publicity. They've just got to say that together for the show. For MediaWorks, yeah. I was like, they signed a deal with the devil, and they have to stay together now. It's a contract. Their marriage is a contract for the rest of life. There's no love associated with it, Ben. Just purely. I think there is.

There's two kids and a lot of love, but anyway. Do you know that they made those kids, Ben? Or those kids provided by MediaWorks? Oh, jeez. And the batch of the series. It was actually, I don't think there's been a series since then where the couples have stayed together. Oh, for New Zealand Bachelor?

No. They were the OGs and they really did, it worked. I think you're right, actually. Yeah. There's been no others. No. They did a couple of, no, you're right. They've done about four or five other versions of that show but no one's stayed together hard to say i mean

you know life sorry what do you mean oh just have you got something on a shield what's going on i just you know i imagine though but in that regard you know meeting under that you know it's you're kind of in a bubble you know with that and then going back to to reality, and then sometimes you go, oh, that was awesome. We've got a connection. Other times you might be like, oh, maybe this was magnified in the bubble, in the competition. It's probably a miracle if they do stay together.

Yeah. Having started a relationship with four sweaty camera operators and a sound person sort of filming on a phone date. And going out on other dates. Competing for the love of someone. Yeah, you're right so yeah good on them good on them for doing that if you believe that they're together if you were if you were single say you're 20 years old you need to boost your insta by 50 000 followers you know get a bit of a social profile are you going on one of those shows your maths you're married at first sight oh i don't know that's a bring love island let's bring in producer joel i know you're in a relationship relationship wonderful grace yeah and wonderful

great parents take you to hawaii and stuff like that so i mean you know there's a lot to i pay for the flights you're walking away from a lot that relationship but let's say that's not on the cards would you there's no family holiday this year no also you probably if you wanted 50,000 followers

you probably wouldn't go on any New Zealand show I think you'd get like 500 followers mate but I don't know have you guys

watched Love Island before have you seen I've seen pockets of it holy cow I just watched this episode of Love Island it was one of the best TV show episodes

I've ever seen in my life really yeah so it's a thing called they're pretty much in the bubble and then for like three days

they split up the guys and the girls and they put them in a house with six new guys and six new girls who are like exact prototypes

of they're just like they have like pretty much a match for all of them and then it's just like a test and then they come back and they choose whether to stay with their old one or new one.

And it's just, they've just all been, pretty much all of them have been scumbags. And it is like, it is like the best. They're all like, yeah, you got me. And they're just like all crying. They're just like, oh, I'm so sorry. I just wanted to test the connection. But it is seriously one of the best. The magician's like, oh, we didn't think this was going to happen.

Oh, who could have predicted this? It's like, this guy, one really nice guy, farmer, real humble guy. He's like, he, we didn't think this was going to happen. Oh, who could have predicted this? It's like, this guy, really nice guy, farmer, real humble guy. He's like, he's never had a girlfriend before. And then he comes in the first night. He's got like a pretty much relationship in Love Island. They're telling each other they love him. First night he goes away, starts hooking into some other girl. And he comes back, he's like, oh, this is the worst human.

It's like, you are the worst human in the world. Why would you do that? But I mean, the producers have got a lot to add to that situation hey let's take all these people chuck them in a house i know they didn't have to and you've got the got the choice you know it's on them at the end of the day they can't force i mean it's a pretty boring episode though if they all stay loyal though and also the it's also not look the men have got a bad rap with all the cheating stuff today on on the podcast as well but it's also the females that as well the girls i guess to soften the blow you would go back to your original partner and go oh they kind of look like you you know so technically it was like a memory of you

because i was thinking about you know i don't know if that's gonna work but i say yeah you could you could try that line i don't know if i could be a producer on one of those shows no you just have to manipulate people don't you yeah you do i think it's well i don't know if I could be a producer on one of those shows. No. You just have to manipulate people, don't you? Yeah, you do. I think it's, well I don't know, maybe it's changed a lot from some of those people. They put some people through the ringer don't they? Yes, yeah. Well maybe I'd be really good on one of those shows.

Did you hear what old mate was saying earlier? I'll leave that with you. Roll up, roll up. Shall we have an interview? Enjoy the podcast. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. In 24 hours' time, we're going to start our charity drive, driving a easy-go golf cart around and around Mount Smart Stadium,

the equivalent of the length of New Zealand's 1600km, to raise money for those affected by the cyclones and by the wild weather of late for the New Zealand disaster relief, the New Zealand Red Cross. Yeah, you can text Cyclone3493. That's an automatic $3 donation. It's just so many times throughout the day I just find myself going,

those poor people, those poor people. If you have any little problem in the day, like I lost my wallet yesterday, and I was like, well, geez, there's people doing it 10 million times worse. Digging stuff out to get to their house and all sorts. You just see footage on social media, on the news. And it's just, I say it time and time again, it's just heartbreaking.

I found my wallet too. Oh, that's good. I'm pleased. I'm pleased. Yesterday, actually, I was in a store, a stationery store getting some stuff for the kids for school. Alarms go off and everything. And someone had just grabbed a craft knife off the shelf and cut one of the cords of the iPhone,

just walked out. One of the iPhones. What a legend. I was like, what? Just casual. Just casually walked out. I was like, jeez. Did you?

I was a bit oblivious to it all. You wouldn't have been an intervene tackle guy. No, I didn't even know what was going on. I just heard the alarms go off Did they chase them? I don't know I think they went outside and filmed them Casual Apparently it was really casual

That's what you need If you're in the thieving game You've had an experience in shop That hasn't gone well Stationary shop I suppose I need to tell it now I mean, you've had an experience in shopping, a thing that hasn't gone well. Stationery shop. Yeah, it was. It was a stationary shop.

It was. I suppose I need to tell it now. Well, if you want. You don't have to. I was 13 years old. Experimental time in my life. You know, you're learning about just stuff. And me and my friends, it was the Pamela Anderson edition of Playboy magazine.

Hotly, hotly debated, or, you know, hotly talked about edition of the magazine. You might remember it, Ben, back in the day. Why don't you put this on me, mate? And now you've got to remember this is pre-online. So to get any, any pornography, you really had to go into a store or a video shop into that weird cut-off section, you really had to go into a store or a video shop into that weird cut-off section, you know? Yeah, behind the curtain, it's like one of those fly things that

sort of, you know, like, the tassels. Yeah, so I don't make the curtain noisy if I'm sneaking in and out of the bloody side room. But anyway, me and my 13-year-old friends were like, okay, we'll go to work calls. And it was like a heist, Ocean's 11 prepubescent style heist.

I was meant to put the magazine into my trousers. The rest would play Lookout. Okay, the problem is no one else played Lookout. I did my part. I put the magazine in. Well, the undercover shopper was playing Lookout and saw you. Oh, and then I got a hand on the shoulder

and then taken into the back room. And there's no lower point when you've got a pornographic magazine shoved down your trousers. And my friends are nowhere to be seen. And the lady, I remember, I could see her today. I can see her face. She sat me down.

She's like, well, this isn't good, is it? And I'm like, no. On a couple of levels as well. It wasn't like Home and Garden magazine or anything. And she's like, listen, I am going to give you the chance to go home and tell your parents what's happened. And I will be calling them in 24 hours. And I was like, oh, gosh.

So I had to go home. I was like, Mum, Annie, I took a Playboy magazine. She's like, what? And the bloody undercover shopper never called. Never called. Well, good that you got it out of your system. No, here's the lesson. If anyone's like, oh, I'll tell your parents, you tell them first.

Don't say anything. Oh, God. Because they're just the hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. People continue to be affected. I still can't believe how many people, how many thousands of people unaccounted for at the moment, which really worrying as well you know a week later after it not necessarily grim cases no no but just you know hey can't get communications with people

that's you know just really really just horrible stuff that's going on there right yeah it is and uh yeah but there are some beautiful stories emerging from this tragedy. And we're giving away generators thanks to Trade Tested. And if you know someone that needs a generator, probably in the Hawke's Bay in reality, but there are other areas around the country still without power, then you can text 4487. Yeah, or go to the hits.co.nz as well, and you can register your details. Yesterday, we gave a generator to Jason, who is doing amazing work in the community in Hawke's Bay. Helping out.

The generator wasn't even for himself. No. He nominated for his neighbour, who's in a wheelchair. Well, listen, you did message us about your neighbour, who we understand is in a wheelchair. Yeah, yeah. I've been looking after him since day one. His family are in Gisborne, mate, so he has

no one here helping him. So I've been taking care of him and looking after him. He's been really, really appreciative of it and I've been helping him out as well as a couple of other families down the road who had nothing. Well, you've done such amazing work for the community as well and thanks to our mates at Trade Tested tested we want to give you a generator because i understand you

want to give that to your neighbor um thank you thank you so much oh well no that's the it's at the very least we can do everything that you are doing for for the community and helping out and you know looking after everyone. And we want to give that, yeah, from Trade Testers so you can help out your neighbour who needs the power right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, thank you. Because he needed it for his wheelchair, mate.

There was enough battery for like five days. Oh, that's amazing, mate. Thank you, guys. She's not a dry eye in the house for that one And there's just people there Just exhausted And at breaking point And I guess little hopes

Like a generator, a simple generator Can have that effect on someone So if you'd like to nominate anyone you know That does need one You can text 4487 or like Ben said Head to thehits.co.nz The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast Now Guy Montgomery you can text 4487 or like Ben said head to the hits doco.nz the hits the Jono and Ben podcast

now Guy Montgomery he's a very funny comedian when he comes in he's actually a lot taller than you expect Guy because I know Guy Williams who used to work with

he takes a lot of the tall glory in the New Zealand comedy scene for someone called Guy yeah true he's pushing above six foot

he's still quite tall and Ben after the show yesterday you had a chiropractic appointment. I did, I did. Put you back out again. I'm bringing sexy back, just like Justin Timberlake. Well, your chiropractor is anyway. And Guy Montgomery from the Guymont Spelling Bee on Thursday nights. Your word is rendezvous.

Can I please have the language of origin? Sexy. Very funny man. He popped into the studio. Guy Montgomery, welcome. Thanks, Jono. Welcome. Sans Ben.

Yes. I feel a little naked without Ben. No, it's good. It does feel more intimate, which is a word often associated with naked. But I like it. And it's nothing against Ben. I love Ben. But, you know, Jono on Guy.

Guy on Jono. This is a beautiful platform for a conversation. Sometimes when you find when you do come into a radio environment as an interview guest, do you find when you've got three or four people just barking at you? Is it too much? The more stimulation, the better. I reckon we need five or six people in here.

What we need is everyone's opinions on everything constantly. Otherwise, we'll never get to the bottom of anything. People aren't getting their opinions out there enough nowadays. No, there's not enough means of us communicating what we think. And everyone's got a good take. How'd you fare in the cyclone, mate? I am so thankful and feeling very grateful. Safe.

It's been, man, nothing really puts everything in perspective like a genuine weather disaster. And a lot of the people can't even listen to it. It's just totally cut off. I've got friends down in Hastings and stuff who I trust they're safe, but you just don't know. It's been absolutely brutal. It has been.

It has been. It's a leveler. Mother nature. It feels grotesque and absurd to then be promoting a television show. But that's what we're here to do. Well, hopefully, if people are safe to do so, it can provide some respite from the ongoing calamity of the climate disaster. I tell you what, almost as much anticipation for this TV show as the cyclone.

Well, I don't know that I want to be bracketed next to a natural disaster, but I certainly feel an immense sense of excitement. It's the culmination of what turned out to be sort of a three years work. You know, the germ of an idea that occurred to me during the first COVID lockdown, which was to host

these online spelling bees on my YouTube channel, various permutations of becoming a live show and getting some funding from New Zealand. I need to make a pilot and then getting greenlit from there. It's just been... A spelling rollercoaster. It has. And also totally divorced from reality.

It's not responding to anything. It's not topical. It's just spelling in a vacuum. Well, spelling is always topical. I mean, we're always spelling. You're never not spelling things. That's right. Even all these words I'm saying right now, in my head I'm spelling is always topical. I mean, we're always spelling. You're never not spelling things. That's right. Even all these words I'm saying right now,

in my head I'm spelling them as I speak. And all spelled correctly, mind you. So you get a group of comedians in. Yeah. In general, how is the comedy scene at spelling? Well, the winner of each episode, they win a one-way ticket to the next week's episode. They can defend their spelling title in the next episode.

Oh, there's carryover champs. Carryover champs, yeah. Love it. The loser has to suffer the indignity of sitting in the dunce's corner and wearing the dunce's hat, which is like an old-fashioned sort of corporal punishment for low-performing pupils. It's been outlawed because it was very demeaning. Oh, yeah. I see.

The dunce hat got cancelled. You're uncancelling it well yeah i and it almost looks if you don't mind me saying quite clanny ah it does shape yes yes the conical shape i hope i'm hoping that the red word dunce on the front of it removes that context but i and so the spelling in the show there's's a huge variation. Some people, outstanding. You wouldn't believe it how good some of these comedians are at spelling. They're like savants. And then some of them, there's one comedian misspells the word chimney. Two M's.

They put two M's in it. There are those difficult words that you do. Well, this is the thing. Yeah, you rely on autocorrect when you're typing. Different words have different challenges for different people. Some of them can breeze through all sorts of difficult words and then everyone's got their own problem words. And you, what was your spelling like at school?

I think I rock at spelling. I think it's a huge part of the DNA of the show is a misguided and probably misremembered belief that I am a very good speller. Guy Montgomery the spelling superstar well equipped to be hosting Guy Montgomery Spelling Bee is on tonight on TV

3 a nice light bit of relief as you said as to what's been going on. Thank you very much for coming in. Thank you so much for having me, Jono. Coming to us live a script no his identity is a secret but his stories have been proven right time and time again this is enti coming to us live from tinsel town now what is the quota of tinsel in tinsel town is there an over is there an oversupply of it enti no we never have enough tinsel oh yeah i've been there just once or twice i've never seen a piece of tinsel not even at christmas time to be fair

Can I ask a question about Hollywood Because obviously there's the Hollywood Walk of Fame Stars get their stars along the footpath Do they have to pay for their own star to be put on? They do actually Usually somebody pays for it For example if Ben and me We all laid out some cash

Could we get out Start a giveaway or something that would some cash. Could we get out? Start a giveaway or something that would be worth it. Could we get a star on the Walk of Fame? They do. I think that they used to. I'm not sure if they still have a radio branch. I don't remember because it's changed over the years

because some people have three stars and four stars. Really? What? I'm sure that Larry King probably has one. Oh, yeah. And I don't know if it's radio or TV. Okay. Well, I think there was a polite way of saying,

no, you don't have a shit show. Yeah, I think you guys can do it. I think for sure. I believe it's $15,000 or $20,000. Oh, US? Yeah, US. It's not a New Zealand dollar. Why would you quote it in New Zealand dollars?

That would be... Anyway, Andy with us from Tinseltown We've got to the bottom of that Hey listen, Chris Brown, he's come out on the offensive He's saying He made a terrible mistake when he was 19 years old When he hit Rihanna Inexcusable, but he's still being held To account for it

And he's now 33 years old And he listed off a raft of white celebrities who have openly admitted to domestic violence and their career wasn't affected what do you feel about that two things number one charlie sheen career affected and now it's his number one prime example uh everybody knows that charlie sheen lost the easiest gig that has ever existed in hollywood i mean he gave up a million dollars a week basically for two and a half men and easiest gig that has ever existed in Hollywood. I mean, he gave up a million dollars a week, basically, for two and a half men. And so to say that he didn't lose anything is just wrong.

Chris Brown, and again, I know your lawyers, you know, always love me when I come on the show. I would recommend that anybody who has questions, Google Chris Brown has been accused of, you know, hitting a woman. Just Google it like that and see if anything pops up other than Rihanna. So, yes, the Rihanna one was obviously the biggest.

And see, Bruce Willis, very sad news this week, finding out that the legendary actor had dementia or has dementia. Yeah, you know, we've known about it for, what, about a year now, I think, something like that. But they weren't sure what exactly to clinically classify it as. But one of the things, I mean, Bruce Willis has a movie that came out this month,

last month, and has a movie that comes out this month. Because before, he knew what was up. The family knew what was up. And he was cranking out movies basically to a month. Just so there'd be money for everybody in the family forever. And they'd be feeding him lines in his ear and stuff like that. But just getting as much money as he possibly can. He seems like one of Hollywood's nice guys.

I think that that is a fair statement. I think that it wasn't necessarily the case back, say, in the 80s and everything prior, you know, because when he was in Moonlighting with Sybil Shepard, I mean, the show ended because they were just yelling, screaming at each other all day. Oh, really? That sounds like ass behind the scenes. Yeah. It ended because they couldn't stop yelling at each other.

Have you met him? Actually, I met him once, but it was one of those, hey, how are you, rather than let's hang out and have dinner kind of thing. I tell you what, it's very similar to the time that I met Sylvester Stallone. Oh, really? Yeah, we were at, I was at this restaurant. I guess I'll name drop it. It's called Ibaldi and it's Italian. And the tables are extremely close together.

We have a Jono in the office too. Sorry. It's extremely close together. And I'm talking to my friend and all of a sudden Sylvester Stallone walks in and he sits at the table next to me. And when I say the table next to me, I'm not talking three or four feet away.

I'm talking about that we repeatedly had to apologize for our elbows slamming into each other. Oh, you were banging elbows with Stallone. Banging elbows with Stallone. And to really name drop that one particular time that I was in there, 10 feet away was Ellen. And there's only maybe like 15 tables, 20 tables or something like that. I mean, they're all jammed into something that's probably the size of your studio sounds like you're dining on a bus enty really appreciate your time mate thanks for uh thanks for chatting we'll catch up next week hey you guys have a great

week the hits the jonah and ben podcast yesterday we played a little game we called uh you've been sentenced yeah we have to finish the sentence. And the sentence yesterday, a bit of a spicy one. I found out they were cheating when... And I tell you what, we could... The amount of texts and calls we got through about people who found out their partners were having extramarital affairs. And 98% of the texts were coming through about men. Oh, men, we're dogs.

Aren't we dogs? Just shockers. I thought we could start a show called Jono and Ben's Current Affairs. And we just talk to people about the affairs that they've... Currently having? Come on. You said there's a problem with the name. I like the name, the clever wordplay, but current affairs.

People aren't going to... It's probably going to be previous... Yeah, like... You're going to be too forthcoming. Hey, can I win a prize? A whole pizza? Yeah, I'll tell you what I'm doing. affairs. It's probably going to be previous affairs. You're going to be too forthcoming. Can I win a price? Yeah, I'll tell you what I'm doing. Yeah, so there's this accounting... I'm going to go home and tell the wife tonight.

Yeah, true. So maybe current affairs might not work. But yeah, I won't go into the hits. When you did find out your partner was straying, you've been sentenced. Paula with us, you found out they were cheating when? When the boss showed up at my house. The boss showed up?

Okay, what's happened? Let's back the truck up. What's happened here? So my partner at the time, we were living and working on a dairy farm. And quite often, he'd go away to different farms to work for a dairy farm. And quite often, you know, he'd go away to different farms to work for a little bit.

But this time his boss showed up at the house and said, hey, I've got his holiday pay for your week away as a family. And I was very confused because we weren't going away. Uh-oh. This could have been a surprise though. Well, I guess in some ways it probably was going to be we weren't going away. Uh-oh. This could have been a surprise, though. Well, I guess in some ways it probably was going to be a surprise. It was. It was a big surprise.

It was a big surprise, yeah. So I did some little investigation and found out that he had booked a week away for him and the lady he'd been seeing for three years behind my back. Oh. Where were they going? I'm not really sure where it was. That's probably not important right now. What if it was like, you know, Fiji? Man, that must have been such a

like, you would have felt betrayed. I felt, yeah, I felt really, really hurt because we had been together for 10 years. Oh, you poor thing, Paul. We had two kids. Oh, you poor thing, Paul. Now, did you have... We had two kids. Oh, mate. What's the boss saying in that situation after...

I didn't say anything at the time to him. I said, oh, you know, thanks. You know, you have a good week too. And then when he had noticed that I was picking up mine and the kids' stuff to move, he had questioned it and I told him what had happened. Oh, mate. Did you have any idea?

No idea. Really? Yeah, because you always wonder if you would sense something was going on. I mean, I feel like I probably could have, but given the work situation, there was quite often he would go to other farms, you know, because it was often that he would go to other farms you know because so it was often that he would go and stay at a different farm but then it kind of made me wonder if he wasn't actually

going to these other farms the whole time i imagine you start to question anything looking back on it now and with hindsight do you see moments where i see what he was up to there oh yeah 100 yeah yeah definitely because there was a lot of times where people didn't know that he had children. And I thought, how could you not know he had children? Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Haven't you, Paula? And you, are you happy now, Paula? I am really happy now.

I have moved on big time. Oh, good. Good on you. Did you upgrade, mate? I sure did. Oh, good. Did you get a holiday over the last few years? It did, actually.

Oh, there you go. And you went on it this time. I actually went on two holidays with my new husband. Oh, good. Yay. That's my worst nightmare, if she ever leaves me, that she upgrade. I mean, I'm not hard to upgrade from, but you never want to look at your ex and go, oh, they've got to bed them, you know?

So glad you're happy, Paula. And there's a happy ending to this story. And thank you so much for sharing with us this morning. Thanks, guys. See you, mate. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Just in the middle of you've been sentenced. Will you finish the sentence for us?

And today I found out they were having an affair when, is the grass always greener? People always say, oh, the grass is greener on the other side. Eventually, I know grass. It dries up, you know, gets infected with weeds. Well, sometimes people go into relationships and they have new relationships. That's life.

Yeah, and other times they don't. I don't know. Yeah. Sometimes, I mean, the trick to a long-lasting marriage is the grass eventually dies. Comes dried up and useless. One way or another, the grass eventually dies. Comes dried up and useless. One way or another the grass will die.

You're right. But you've just got to live with that lifeless dead grass and be happy with it. Hi, how are you? Good morning, how are you? Donald Ben's current affairs.

Wow. You found out your partner was having an affair and was cheating. Yes, I did. Where? At his funeral.

At his funeral? Oh, jeez. Oh, that's a lot to get your head around. Well, I had a feeling he was actually cheating because he used to come home smelling of her perfume. And I thought, okay, what's going on here? But nothing was said, nothing was done. And I just left. My husband got murdered in England.

Oh, jeez. Oh, my God. But there's no love lost there, because he was sleeping with her. Oh, my goodness. So that's why he was... Oh, jeez. How did he get... Why did he get murdered? Well, how can I explain this? He was an amateur thief, an amateur idiot, and he basically was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Oh, my gosh.

I knew nothing about what was going on at all. Everything was hidden. So you go to his funeral, and then how do you find out that he was having an affair the whole time? She came up afterwards and said to me, Oh, by the way, I'm pregnant with your husband's child. Oh, my God. This is just, wow. Pregnant?

Yeah, I can write a book. Don't worry. Yeah, you can. It feels like you couldn't make this up. Did you have children with him? Yes, I had two boys. I was pregnant with the second one myself. Oh, so you were both pregnant?

She was later than me and I was due in two months. Oh, you poor thing. Oh, my gosh. Just having to deal with all of that. Must have just been... How did you get through that? Being strong. Oh, good on you.

Very strong. And because I had a child already and then my parents came over and got me from New Zealand and we came back home. That is like... You couldn't even write that for a movie. Yeah. No, you can't. No, for a movie. Yeah. No, you can't. It'd be too unbelievable. It would.

When I tell people they don't believe me, I mean. It is wild. So you're grieving, but you're hating this man at exactly the same time. No, because I really wanted to get out of the relationship in the first place because I saw too many things happen and I didn't want my child involved with it.

It was, yeah, it was, I just kissed the ground when I got back to New Zealand. I can imagine. Yeah. I hope you washed your lips afterwards too. I certainly did. Yeah. Hey, Bridget. Well, thank you so much for sharing.

That is a very personal story that you've shared there. And I'm glad everything's worked out and you're okay now. Everything's fine. I have three beautiful children now and my life is great. Oh, awesome. Hey, well, thank you for sharing. As Johnno said, three beautiful children now and my life is great. Oh, awesome. Well, thank you for sharing, as Jono said. Take care of yourself. Yeah, you too. Thanks, guys. That is an... What a story.

Wow. That's left me floored, that one. Just unbelievable. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. It is The Hits, Jono and Ben. We're heartbroken by the events that have gone on with the cyclone that caused all the damage to so many families around the country. And tomorrow we're starting our charity drive,

driving the equivalent of the length of New Zealand around Mount Smart Stadium in an easy-go golf cart, raising money for the New Zealand Disaster Fund for the New Zealand Red Cross. And someone who's already donated a huge figure to that fund is ASB Bank. We're joined by Lex Thor thornton from asb kia ora yeah kia ora team how are you we're doing all right uh and you guys have just made a huge donation uh two million dollars uh to the red cross uh to help out those affected yeah yeah i mean i was down in gizzy yesterday and hawks Bay on Sunday. So we've all been pretty shocked by the scale of it, right,

across people, businesses, and communities across the North Island of Aotearoa. And so it was a pretty simple decision to donate $2 million to the Red Cross Disaster Fund. I guess it's just one way we are trying to do everything we can to help support those Kiwis most in need down there. It is. Having seen it firsthand, is it worse than what we're seeing on the news? I would use the word just sort of unbelievable.

Driving around the communities across Hawke's Bay and Gizzy yesterday, there's a lot of homes affected and there's a lot of farmland affected as well and infrastructure. It's widespread and it's devastating. And, you know, we opened for business. All our branches were open in Hawke's Bay and Gisborne yesterday. The teams just, you know, worked really hard. They put the mahi in to make sure we were open.

And so we did speak to quite a few customers affected directly. And the stories are just, yeah, they're terrible. Yeah, it's heartbreaking, isn't it? It's just everything that's going on, and you just want to be able to do as much as you can, which you guys have done so much to help out people. So people were struggling even to get money as well, too, I understand, getting cash out and things like that. Yeah, look, in Hawke's Bay, there hasn't been any challenges there. So we were the first to open our branch in Hastings on Friday.

And then the team wanted to stay open on the weekend, which was just awesome. So Napier and Hastings both opened over the weekend. Gisborne's been more challenging. There's been real communication challenges there. There's been a lack of cell coverage and data coverage. And so we've just been working with civil defence to make sure we could restore our ATM network there quickly. I've got a call, just a special call out to the... There's probably over 100 people at ASB

that have been working around the clock just to get the teams back up and running locally, including using satellite internet just to connect the branch and make sure people had access to central banking and cash. There's no issues with cash in Gisborne. The ATM networks are open across the town. And like I said, ASB branch is open as well. Because your staff would be, you know, dealing with people who have lost everything.

Like, what is the general vibe from the public? Are they like, I don't know what I'm going to do with my house. It's just disappeared. Am I rebuilding? what's happening yes our teams are dealing with um terrible stories now i spoke to customers in gizzy yesterday that were on a rural farm block and their young family was was in that home they've lost everything but the clothes on their back but you know you talk about tone and mood and this customer in particular, I just couldn't believe how resilient she was and how grateful she was to be alive. And she just was coming into town to get some money to go and get some clothes. affected, including things like a $2,000 cash grant if your home has been yellow or red-stickered,

as well as a whole range of other things like temporary overdrafts that are at a low rate and putting repayments on hold for any loans. But you talk about the mood, and the mood I felt in Gizzy yesterday was people were just pleased to just try and get some level of normality back. And I just couldn't believe the resilience. Oh, well, thanks so much for your time this morning. Thank you for this massive donation going towards the New Zealand Disaster Relief Fund for the New Zealand Red Cross. A huge $2 million donation from the ASB. So thank you so much for that.

Yeah, no problem. And just sending our outer high up to all the affected communities. And do you mind if I just, for any ASB customer, I can just make sure I give them the phone number to call if they are in need of support. Absolutely. It's 0800 272 735, and that's option three for our dedicated financial assistance team. We've got lots of people on the phones ready to take inquiries.

And so, yeah, please, if you need help from ASB, please give us a call or come into one of our branches. Now, Lex, I don't want to put you on the spot, but Ben and myself, we are doing a charity drive. We're driving a golf cart the distance of New Zealand, 1600km round around Mount Smart Stadium. Can we get a commitment from ASB? You'll donate $10 million.

I've just donated $2 million. $10 million to our charity. I've just donated $2 million. $10 million to our charity. It's well above my delegation. Why don't I personally donate to it? How does that go? $10 million? Wow, that's very generous of you. Yeah, we might have to have a bit of negotiation around the number.

We'll take that as a verbal yes. No, you're a good sport. Congrats so much on donating so much to that fund. It's such a worthy cause. It's going to go a long way to helping a lot of people. And you have a verbal yes. No, you're a good sport. Congrats so much on donating so much to that fund. It's such a worthy cause. It's going to go a long way to helping a lot of people. And you have a great day. Yeah, you too, team. See you later.

See you, Lex. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Ben Boyce just bringing in his morning cereal out in the kitchen there. Did you get waylaid? Yeah, sorry about that. I was chatting to Harriet out there in the office, you know? It's not time for banter out in the office. There's more banter doing in here.

Yeah. How was your conversation with Harriet? It was good. She was just giving a little, she'd been listening to the show this morning and loved, just fascinated by the cheating calls and the ASP call as well. But she even listened to Stop the Car, did one of those classic moments where you'd stop the car, but you didn't get out because you're still listening to the radio.

You know what? That would have been great if you were talking into a microphone when you were doing that because you weren't here doing your job. Now I'm recounting the conversation. He's out there massaging his ego, getting good positive feedback about the show. That's why I couldn't leave. He's like, tell me more. I don't know we get compliments about the show.

Lay it on thick. That's why I was out there. Anyway, I did mention just before that I woke up to someone standing over me last night. Not surprisingly, it was my daughter. Okay, right, okay. So I might have oversold that a little bit. Now Harriet's out of her car. She's upset.

She's, ah, I waited in my car for this. Lost it. But it is confronting because she, I find in a relationship, I imagine there's always the one person who they sacrifice their pole position in the joint bed when there's when there's children yeah and i wake up and every time poppy's standing over me nine-year-old poppy and it's dark as well and she's got long brown hair looks like wednesday adams is sort of staring me down and she doesn't wake me up or anything but you know when you're you're sleeping, you can kind of get a...

You get a vibe that someone maybe is, yeah. I mean, the times I've come into your bedroom, I've been staring over you, it takes you a couple of minutes. It does. To work out what's going on. But there's nothing more confronting than waking up. Because you're in a dreamy daze.

Trying to work out what's going on. To have someone... And now it's got to the point where, you know, she'll come up, not every night, a few nights a week. She just comes up. Not even a word is said i just wake up and go deck on and i just automatically move out of the bed i take my pillow and then i wake up on the couch and it's like you know when you've had a big night you're like oh what am i doing on the couch what have i done what uh but i thought it would be a great alarm clock because it's not loud. No, true, actually.

I could just take Poppy around to everyone's. If you have trouble getting up in the morning with an alarm clock, because you can snooze an alarm clock, you can't snooze terror. Yeah, like a frightening way to wake up every morning. But you're right. It's not as abrupt. And it's probably a little weird of me and my nine-year-old daughter traipsing around bedrooms waking people up at six in the morning.

But I thought it was a good little business idea. One of my favourite things to do is, because if no one, you get past the age of I think probably ten, and no one looks cute sleeping anymore. No, you're right. Adults don't. One of my favourite things to do is if you're on an overnight flight, wake up about two in the morning, walk down the aisle of the plane,

and just watch people sleeping. Mouths open, drooling, snoring. It's like a zombie. If you ever want to look at what you think a zombie apocalypse might look like, go down the plane at two in the morning. You're right. So it mustn't be a pretty sight for her to look at when she is standing over me. Maybe she's just like, oh, dear God.

Don't say anything. It's hard to know if you're still alive or not. I am one of those people because you've taken many photos of me sleeping. Oh, yeah, the whole time. I think on our Instagram we've got a little category because you fall asleep with the drop of a hat. Sleepy Jono, it's cool. Yeah, like all the time you fall asleep. I'm one of those people that looks dead sleeping, don't I?

We always start worrying. Check your pulse. We do have to resuscitate him. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Let's go. Jono and Ben with five words for 5K. Stop any time to keep the cash. Thank you.

Or play on to win more. It's our game of word association. You can match words without words and try and win yourself $5,000 every morning on the hits. It's time to roll our sleeves up, Ben boys. Milk some money from the udder from the cash cow.

We've milked a couple of cows in our time, haven't we? We have, yeah. A lot more difficult than you think it is extracting milk out of the udder. Mel, welcome. You've ever milked a cow, Mel? No. No, I haven't, no. But I'm looking at some now. Oh, yeah.

Okay. Why don't you go for a live milking? Well, I could do that right there at the fence. Oh, wow. Jesus. Mel, standing by some cows in Duntroon. What do you do, Mel? Early childhood teacher.

Oh, lovely stuff. Now, $5,000. That's some cold, hard, throbbing cash there, Mel. What would it go towards? Probably pay off some bills and go on a wee holiday with the family. Yeah. It's a game. $5,000 is a game changer. I don't know what game you're playing at the moment, Mel.

Monopoly? The Game of Life. The Game of Life. The Game of Life. We're all playing the Game of Life. Yeah, well it'll change that game into a far more fruitful one. Who do you want to send into the soundproof booth?

Ben, please. Alright. Little Ben Boyce will extract five words out of your mouth first though, Mel. What do you think of when I say new? N-E-W. Old. Tuxedo. Tuxedo.

Tuxedo, um, suit. Courier. Courier driver. Camping. Tent. And card. Cards. C-A-R-D, just the single.

Oh, card, um, A card? Birthday card? Jeez, good game. Quick and easy. It's not close, though. You played well. And I find that most times we've had winners, those people have just gone with the flow. That was quick.

I just got back out of the soundproof booth. Jeez. You barely had time to do anything in there. I couldn't even lock the door, really. I don't know what you usually get up to in there, but you couldn't even start doing what you were meant to be doing. Put my pants back on backwards. All right, Mel.

I'd say you're feeling pretty confident. You did well. Quick game? All right, let's go. Quick game. Thank you. Word one, $25. New.

Old. $25, Mel. What are we doing in Duntroon? Are we forging on? Yes, definitely. Word two, $50. Tuxedo. Suit.

$50 now. What do they say? What do you say, Duntroon? What do you say? Keep going. Keep going, keep going. Word three, $100. Courier.

Parcel. Oh! A goodcel. Oh! A good time. Oh, no. Courier driver. Went too quick. I had to go too quick. I felt some cockiness from being there.

Oh, it was good. We were on a roll. I felt good. Mel was on a roll. Yeah. You stopped rolling. Right. We'll just have to try again.

Oh, yes. You can try again tomorrow. You're going to have to keep on playing that game of life. I'm to try again. Oh, yes. You can try again tomorrow. You're going to have to keep on playing that game of life. I'm sorry, Mel. Oh, good. Thanks, guys. Hey, make sure you join us tomorrow for our charity drive, okay, on the golf cart going the distance of New Zealand around Mount Smart.

Yeah. Awesome. We'll go. Thank you. Love your work, Mel. You're not going to be there. I can tell the tone in your voice. It's not hard to get there from here, but you know.

Yeah, yeah. Love your work, Mel, have a great one. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. It is The Hits, Jono and Ben. Every day this week we're giving a deserving listener a trade tested generator delivered to their door because right now a lot of people need generators, power out in a lot

of parts of the country still. So if you do know anyone in any of the affected regions that does need something like a generator, you can just text 4487 or head to the hits.co.nz. And we're going to go through to today's worthy recipient. Hello? Oh, hi. It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station.

Hi, how are you? Hi, we're doing okay. How are you doing? As good as can be. Yeah, I imagine, yeah. What's going on with you at the moment? Yeah, just trying to, we've got a whole lot of team at work to do

and still got kids at home because no schools are open. And yeah, just, yeah, I don't know. Just trying to deal. Oh, I imagine. Just what you see on the news, you're just, yeah, I don't know, just trying to deal. Oh, I imagine. Just what you see on the news, you're like, where do you start? Yeah, I don't even know. I mean, unfortunately, there hasn't been a whole lot of communication.

I think, you know, Civil Defence and stuff have been highly focused on rescuing everybody, which has been great, but I think everybody's kind of in different stages now some people's in rescue mode and other people are trying to get into recovery mode and clean up and unfortunately there hasn't been a lot of communication about what to do with all the you know waste and contaminated stuff so yeah it's a bit of uncertainty at the moment yeah well there's just you know when you look at the the devastation cause obviously rescuing people was the important thing now but also the stage that you're clearly in trying to reorganize your life that's important

yeah yeah trying to get back to a bit of normality would be good and so yeah everything's yeah just still up in the air really well uh jenna Trade Tested, they want to give you a generator. Really? Yeah, we know you've had a lot of issues with your power at the moment. So this is something that will be, hopefully, will come in handy. Oh, my God, that would be absolutely amazing. I'm so stoked. I'm just, that's amazing.

I'm thankful. Oh, well, you're very welcome. Hopefully it's one less worry by having this, but there's still a lot more work for you to do. Yeah, definitely. Yeah. At least this is a start. And Jenna, also, just so you know, you might not realise, but a lot of New Zealand are rallying behind for the Red Cross Disaster Relief Fund as well.

Millions in the account already. Oh, really? Yeah, did you not know? That's amazing. No, no, I did not know, but that's fantastic. It's going to go to such good use across the region and across New Zealand, everybody that's been hit by it. It's absolutely amazing.

Oh, we are thinking of you. Take care of yourself and yeah, lots of love. Awesome. Thank you so much. You can win a brand-new Škoda Kamek Monte Carlo with all the cash in the back of the car. You've just got to guess exactly how much cash is in the back and you'll be taking home cash in the car. Now, we have cashkeeper Alex in the studio. Not only a cashkeeper here at The Hits, but it's also the bookkeeper, balances all the back, and you'll be taking home cash in the car. Now, we have cash keeper Alex in the studio.

Not only a cash keeper here at the Hits, also the bookkeeper, balances all the sheets, the wicket keeper in the social cricket team. Is that true? The secret keeper, the amount of secrets you've kept around this place. Yeah. All the sensitive company information. Alex, it's been a wild ride so far. Has it?

I don't know. I think it's been... Has it been a wild ride? I said wild ride, but it's just been a ride. It's been a comfortable ride in the Skoda, mate know. I think it's been... Has it been a wild ride? I said wild ride, but it's just been a ride. It's been a comfortable ride in the Skoda, mate. That's what it's been.

Yeah. There you go. Can I play a little game of hot and cold with you? Okay? In cash and car terms or just in general? He's got the shots of him

in the beach this summer. You can tell if they're hot or cold. This bikini shot of him. I don't know where he's wearing a bikini, but he was. I probably should have shaved the wax before that. It's probably cold, that one. What about that one?

Sprawled along the ocean front. I don't know if there's any hot ones here. No, has anyone become hot or are we lukewarm? Has anyone been close? Everyone has been following the clues for the past two days. And that's all I can say. Thanks Chris Hipkins. Like a politician. Alright Tanya

you're on from Gisborne. Gizzy! Tanya! Are you there Tanya? Oh hi, sorry you just cut it out for a second. Well no wonder because Oh my god my chance. Communication's been a bit ropey with Gisborne.

How are you? Oh, we're really lucky. Nothing happened to us. We live out near the beach, so we've got our own tank water, and we didn't flood everything. But, yeah, we had no communication for almost a week. Wow. Well, I'm pleased to hear you're okay,

and thank you for giving us a call this morning to play Cash and Car. Oh, thank you. Thanks for answering my call. Tanya from Gisborne, I can tell that you're the sort of person that will enjoy the small, robust urban vehicle offering, perfect value for money.

It'll be a great companion whether you're a couple or a family. I don't know what your personal situation is. We can talk about that off air. I would totally love it. Yes, we're a family. Alright, we're going to hand you over to Cash Keeper Alex to have you stab. Thank you.

Tanya, what is your guess for how much cash is in the car? Hi Alex, my guess is $20,049.23. Hmm. If I was... I'm going to do something here. I'm going to throw something in the mix.

Oh. If I was to give you $500 right now, would you take it or do you want to find out if your guess is correct? Oh, Alex. Oh. Spicy. Now it is water.

Are you telling me I'm real close? Or are you bluffing? Yeah, no, I would carry on with my guess. I wouldn't take the $500. Oh, all right. Tanya wants to find out if her guess of $20,049.23 is correct. That is incorrect.23 is correct. That is incorrect. I'm sorry.

Now can she still take the $500? Not for a second. No, I don't want to. No, no, I would have rather. You had to risk it, didn't you? It felt like you had to risk it. I'm proud of that gamble. I don't have to risk it.

Yeah. Wow, geez, Tanya loves to live life on the edge. There we go. Had $500, but took the risk with the gamble. I suppose you'd be kicking yourself if you missed out, and you took $500. Yes, I'd be kicking myself if I took $500, and I was correct. Hey, well, there you go. Oh, do that again.

That was exciting. That was fun, eh? My palms are sweaty. Me's weak. Spicing it up, Alex. There we go. Hey, Tanya, look after yourself and Gizzy. That was fun, eh? My palms are sweaty. Yeah, slicing it up, Alex. There we go. Hey, Tanya, look after yourself and Gizzy. Stay safe, all right?

Thank you. Thank you. Top thing. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. You can text CYCLONE to 3493 to donate $3 towards those affected by the cyclone to the Red Cross Disaster Relief Fund, which will start our charity drive tomorrow, Jono. Yeah, and a golf cart travelling the distance of New Zealand around and around Mount Smart Stadium, 1,600 kilometres, and just a little bit.

It was beautiful to see the joy on a little boy's face, Ben Boyce, when you were just told that the Warriors will be training on the field as you drive around. Your team are going to be training there. field as you drive around. Your team. I know. They're going to be training there. It's exciting because I'm like, it's going to be monotonous. Play it cool, though.

Play it cool in front of your heroes. You know I won't, though. I don't. I'm not a play it cool type person. You've got to play it cool. They're going to be training there, and you're going to be just meters away from them in a golf cart on a novelty radio journey, raising money. Oh, I do.

I don't want to overprom know, over-promise here, but I even reckon one of them might come over and talk to you. Oh, stop it. Just because they know it's for charity. If it wasn't for charity, they would... Definitely not talk to me. Wouldn't even let you in the stadium. I got thinking yesterday.

Your memory's pretty amazing. Mine? Well, no, just in general. Like, that part of your brain. Like, sometimes, you know, yesterday I had an instance where I lost my lost my keys you couldn't find your keys for a while and you're like where did i put your keys so you're blaming your memory for one thing and then suddenly we're in the car later that day and one of my daughters is looking at being in the musical cats now i to my knowledge well i don't know if i know the songs for cats as soon as you put them on i was

like i know these words it was all down to my mum. Jenny, she loved show tunes. Andrew Lloyd Webber. And I was like, can't choose my mum. That is the boomers Harry Styles. Andrew Lloyd Webber. And I was like, as we played the song, I was just like word for word going, oh my goodness, I know a lot of this.

Where has this been stored in my brain? And what other important stuff have I forgotten because I've still got this in there? I only ever thought there was one song from Cats, that one that goes, Mamma. Magical Mr. Mistoffelees and all that. I was like, oh my goodness, I know a few of these.

I think it was car trips with my mum I pinned it down to. Please tell me you're going to sing them now. No, it wasn't my plan. His party is well to his back. From the head to his tip. I was plan i was like oh my god the girls the kids are looking at me like what is wrong with you i know these words it's vaguely written a bit from years ago yeah so it's serving you no purpose i know it's like why is that still unless you go along to a sing-along cats than you sometimes they do sing-along versions don don't they, in theatres? And I was saying that to the kids, I was like,

why do these things sort of get lodged in your brain and in your memory? And then Indy, my daughter, she was like, I know seven licence plates. I was like, what? Okay. And so I recorded her yesterday, I was like, I'll prove it. Alright, Indy, what are you bragging about? I know

seven licence plates. You know seven licence plate numbers? Yeah. Alright, Indy, what are you bragging about? I know seven license plates. You know seven license plate numbers? Yeah. Okay, alright. Okay, whose? Yours, 708. Okay, we're going to have to beat these, you realise. Okay, that's mine, yeah. Yeah, mummy's 492. Right. Grandma's 107. Why do you know this? Because I've just, it's just fun, you know? Okay, yeah. My friend's mum's 668, and then my friend's dad's 498.

Okay, all right, thank you, all right. Yeah, she just, yeah, she kept going. I was like, what? I mean, maybe we could take her to the casino, make some money with card counting or something like that. I was like, there's got to be some use for that rather than remembering license plate numbers. Either that or she's going to make a great undercover police officer just remembering license plate numbers.

It is funny, though. I only remember a couple of things. The show joke. We've got a show joke. Oh, you're pretty good at remembering that, yes. Which is, you know, we all decided that as a show we needed one joke that when someone asks you, do you know a joke, and it's, you know, we all decided that as a show we needed one joke that when someone asks you, do you know a joke? And it's, you know, why do the Norwegian naval ships have QR codes on them

so they can Scandinavian? That's good. That's a good joke. That and the Tux dog food song. You do. You know a lot of words in that one as well. It's just filling up brain space in your brain. You're right.

And wouldn't it be handy if like a computer you could just go, control all, not control all, delete. Select a couple of things, knock them off, and remember some cooler stuff. And if you need to add back in the tux jingle at some stage, you can put that back in at another occasion. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. I was thinking yesterday, your memory's pretty amazing.

Mine? Well, no, just in general. That part of your brain. Sometimes yesterday I had an instance where I'd lost my keys. You couldn't find your keys for a while. And you're like, where did I put your your keys so you're blaming your memory for one thing and then suddenly we're in the car later that day and one of my daughters is looking at being in the musical cats now i to my knowledge well i don't know if i know the songs of cats as soon

as you put them on i was like i know these words it was all down to my mum jenny she loved showtunes andrew lloyd weber and i was like that is the the boomers harry styles andrew lloyd weber and i was like as we played the song i was just like word for word going oh my goodness i know a lot of this and where has this been stored in my brain and what other important stuff have i forgotten because i've still got this in there i've only i only ever thought there was one song from cats that one that goes magical mr mistoffelees and all that you know i was like oh my goodness i know a few of these i think it was car trips with my mom i pinned it down to please tell me you're gonna sing them now no it wasn't my plan his party is well he's back from the head to his tip i was like oh my god the girls the kids are looking at me like what is wrong with you i know these words

it's vaguely written a bit from years ago yeah so it's serving you no purpose i know it's like why is that still unless you go along to a sing-along cats than you sometimes they do sing-along versions don't they in theaters and i was saying that to the kids i was like why does these things sort of get lodged in your brain and in your memory? And then Indy, my daughter, she was like, I know seven licence plates. I was like, what? Okay.

And so I recorded her yesterday. I was like, oh, I'll prove it. All right, Indy, what are you bragging about? I know seven licence plates. You know seven licence plate numbers? Yeah. Okay, all right. Okay, whose?

Yours. 708. Okay, we're going to have to beat these, you realise. Okay, that's mine, yeah. Yeah. Mummy's. 492. Right.

Grandma's. 107. Why do you know this? Because I've just, it's just fun, you know? Okay, yeah. My friend's mum's ******, yeah, 668, and then my friend's dad's ******, 498. Okay, all right, thank you, all right.

Yeah, she just, yeah, she kept going. I was like, what? I mean, maybe we could take her to the casino, make some money with card counting or something like that. Yeah. I was like, there's got to be some use for that rather than remembering licence plate numbers. Either that or she's got to be some use for that rather than remembering license plate numbers. Either that or she's going to make

a great undercover police officer just remembering license plate. It is funny though, I only remember a couple of things. The show joke. We've got a show joke. Oh, you're pretty good at remembering that, yes.

Which is, you know, we all decided that as a show we needed one joke that when someone asks you, do you know a joke? And it's, you know, why... Come on, Pry, you know, why do the Norwegian naval ships have QR codes on them so they can Scandinavian?

That's good. That's a good joke. That and the Tux dog food song. You do. You know a lot of words in that one as well. It's just filling up brain space in your brain. You're right. And wouldn't it be handy if like a computer you could just go

control all, not control all, delete. Select a couple of things, knock them off and remember some cooler stuff. And if you need to add back in the Tux jingle at some stage, you can put that back in at another occasion. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. You put out a bit of an interesting debate, which we'll be throwing out on 0800THEHITS. Would you take a six-month all-expenses-paid holiday?

Anything you could do. Anything. Anything. This is a galeonium we know what Cam Ben's in. I feel like me we're like anything so or

$500,000 cash to do what you want I'm going to go have breakfast with the king you could do yeah

that'd be awkward but what have you got to say to King Charles no not much I'm just trying to say anything that was top of my head you could have a

king's breakfast yeah you could yes you're right. The world is, it's not even your limit. Anything you want to do in the world, you can do on this

six-month holiday. Or take $500,000. Which is the sensible thing to do. But who wants to be sensible? Oh, you could take that $500,000 and put it into a reliable, safe investment like crypto. Something like that.

You know, make more money off the money that you've got. But Ben, he's not here for a long time. He's here for a good time. Yeah, well, I'm trying to head that way, right? That's why his nickname around the office is Good Time Boys. Always up for a good time.

Nikki, kick it off in Tauranga this morning. Are we going the cash or the travel? Definitely the travel. Oh, Nikki. I didn't think anyone else was going to come with me on that. But why? Well, I like to think that money and whatever it buys just always runs out. Whereas when I've traveled before, the experiences and the people that you meet,

that sort of stuff lasts forever. And the people that you bring along the way and stories and those memories can inspire other people to travel the world and find their own adventures. So definitely travel. Go and light your dream catcher. That's great. I'm with you on this. I'm with you.

Nikki, but people, they're not money. No, they're not money. But you've experienced more than anyone else will experience. Hey, Nikki's got her priorities sorted. You're a better person than me, Nikki. Thank you. You're going to have a great day. Problem is, you're saying you're going to take the six-month holiday.

I've seen no annual leave requests come through, Ben. Yeah, well, I haven't got this. Nothing that says Ben Boyce is unavailable from now until August. Come back, your job's gone. Okay, Rebecca, are you going to the holiday or the money? What are you taking in Auckland? I am actually going to stick with the money this time. $500k?

Yeah, that's a lot of money. I've got a lot of debt. And I have always had this dream of buying a little plot of land and sticking a tiny home on it or converting a van, a Sprinter van into a mobile home so I can travel New Zealand. Oh, jeez, you go like your dream catcher too, mate. No, hang on. There's also the small fact that I'm not allowed

to leave the country for the next four years due to my criminal conviction. OK. Well, that's got to stop you going to a few places, I guess, yeah. A bloody ankle brace that always keeps you tied down. Yeah. Oh, no, I'm quite that extreme.

Do I want to know what the criminal conviction is? I do want to know, but do you mind answering? Yeah, no, it's absolutely fine. It's pathetic, actually. Failing, I apparently am in possession of a dog that attacks people and livestock, although my dog has never attacked a thing in his life. Oh, jeez.

And you're allowed to leave the country because of that. Yeah, well, he growled at a dog one too many times. I used to live in St. Heliers, where all the precious, bloody, white, he growled at a dog one too many times. I used to live in St. Heliers where all the precious, bloody, white, fluffy dog owners are. And because my dog's got a spinal condition from being beaten by his previous owner, he growls at dogs if they jump on him.

So he's been reported on several occasions. Wow. And the council decided enough was enough and took me right through criminal court to get him killed. Wow, okay, sheesh. Jeez, and you can't leave the country. Well, I'm sorry to hear that, Rebecca. So we'll give you the $500,000.

Please, please do. Just to clarify, none of these prizes are up for grabs. Well, that was a new competition after cash and card, isn't it? We'll take one more, Denver. We'll go to Pottydore, Wellington. Are you taking the cash or the holiday? I would stick with the cash. Yeah, because you get the best of both

worlds, don't you? You can go on a holiday, can't you? With the cash, yeah. It's like a buffet where you're like, I've got a crab stick next to a bloody butter chicken here, next to a piece of mousse. None of it makes sense, but it works, and you can do that with money, can't you Denver? Well, it's definitely a good investment for the future.

It is. And do you tell us about your previous criminal convictions? We're having a bit of a chat. Since we're all sharing our criminal convictions. My criminal, my worstest, is just driving with no license. Okay. Someone's turned into a confessional this morning.

I had a couple of beers, fucked in the car. Has she got you a V&A 42?