Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: Today Has Been A KERFUFFLE!

Episode Date: October 4, 2021

What a whirlwind! We're still soaking up the info about Auckland's new rules in lockdown... We can have picnics, with only one other bubble, up to 10 people, but can we have 5 picnics in one day with different bubbles? WHAT ARE THE RULES! Ben the information man came to the rescue with all your questions about lockdown. Not only that, but social media has been down! Instagram, Facebook & Whatsapp. What will we DOOO! But on a positive note (yay) we caught up with Hits Wellington day host, Bel Crawford, who we like to now call our Spice Girls correspondent, to chat about the new Spice Girls documentary that aired on TVNZ last night. She had a sit-down conversation for 45 minutes with Sporty Spice last year, so she also shared some tales about that experience! Enjoy the poddy.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Kia ora, it's the 5th of October, Jonathan here, Benjamin over there. Benjamin Ross voice, Jonathan Richard Pryor, if we're being talked to with customs.

That's right, yeah. Or maybe the authorities for some reason. Now, Ben, boys, I ended a long-standing storyline on this program this morning. Oh, you did, actually? Yeah, you did. It was, for months, almost a year, I've been boasting about a plentiful lemon tree that graces my front yard. And you said, well, bring some lemons in.

You keep me saying, who wants lemons? And Julie and I would go, we do. I said every caller could win lemons. And you're like, no, no, no, because you were casting your mind back to when I did every caller could win beach towels because I had an abundance of beach towels. And that beach towel saga followed us from the edge to the hits, didn't it? So people who didn't receive their beach towels, a little seven-year-old girl who waited for the beach towel to turn up every day. Yeah. And bee humps, not even his problem.

But our new producer, Ben Humphrey, had to sort that issue out. He got towels printed with the hits logo on them to send. Just to... Who paid for that? The fix-it man. He's the fix-it man. And we cause all this trouble. I've caused all this trouble, and he has to go in and fix it up.

So you were like, who wants to win uh first of all like to julia and myself who wants lemons we're like we do and then you didn't bring any in and then you're like well this gives them away on the radio we're like well let's bring them in first and then you can give them away i'm happy to i'm happy to receive them happy to give them away just wanted to see them in the studio because i knew i knew what would happen yeah well move on you'd move on and you had you did move on i did you had. You did move on. I did. Although this morning I was reversing the car

and I looked over to my lemon tree and I was like, you know what, today's the day. It just felt right. And so I plucked one single lemon. Yeah, one lemon. Well, I was going to say measly lemon, but it's quite a healthy-looking big lemon. It's a beautiful lemon.

Tremendous. Well, my father, John Pryor, who spends a lot of time flouncing around the garden when he's up from Christchurch, he thinks it's a grapefruit tree that's hooked up with a lemon tree. Oh, it's a sort of hybrid sort of sit show. Yeah, hybrid sit show.

But it was the biggest thing to happen to lemons since Beyonce dropped Lemonade this morning and was it worth it? I appreciated the comedy value of you bringing in one lemon. Because I knew in G.U.G. it'd be like, ooh, absolutely want one in. So I knew that was coming. Gave us an out. My comedy heart was full with that

but also my stomach was not full with lemon because it's just one lemon now. Yeah, but it was nice. You rounded it off beautifully. You haven't even eaten the lemon but you you still got a sour look on your face. And I don't know why. I don't know what else I could do. So this morning on the show, though, it was a really interesting show because a lot of talk about the government announcement yesterday.

And we tried to make sense of it all. This is the new roadmap for Auckland, basically, which is so freaking confusing. Yeah, it almost makes me want to just go back to those good old days where you'd go to the petrol station, buy a map book. Yeah. Bring back the wisest map book.

Yeah. Because this map is very confusing. What they did is they wanted to stay in level three, the government. But they knew if they came out and said, Auckland's going to remain in level three for another 4 weeks carnage. Ben Boyce

you would have been out there rioting wouldn't you? You would have been out there with Brian Tarmachy. No I wouldn't have been rioting but I think you might be correct. I'm just noting that down for a question now because we've got Jacinda Ardern tomorrow on the show. Did you really want to stay in level 3? But now you've just created this

odd little scenario where no one knows what we're doing. Are you talking about your foot? No one knows, it's come across. No one knows what we're doing. We'll just say the odd little picnic scenario.

Yeah, picnic. Ten people scenario. That's good. Alright, that's a question you can Picnic. Yeah. 10 people scenario. That's good. All right. That's a question you can hear tomorrow on the podcast. It feels like, you know, when you have a friend over to play when you're a kid and you start playing a game and it's not going your way, you just make up the rules as you go along. Yeah.

Yeah. It feels like they're in this situation at the moment. Yeah. Because wasn't it meant to be all zero? We were meant to be zero elimination. Wasn't that our first? No one said that, mate. No one.

I'm pretty sure they. That's what they're saying. No one said that. Yeah. But then yesterday they were like this is always the plan. Well the picnics were always the

plan. I'd never heard the word. Remember that? We all get vaccinated then we get a picnic. Maybe I missed

that press conference. It was a hell of a press conference. I was like yeah I want a picnic. So that was how I was there. Alrighty enjoy the

podcast. Have a wonderful day. We'll catch you tomorrow. Intell Yeah. All righty. Enjoy the podcast. Have a wonderful day. We'll catch you tomorrow. Intelligent, thought-provoking, stimulating. Three terms that will never apply here. Tunnel and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast. Yesterday, the Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern, made a big announcement regarding a small taste of freedom

for Auckland from tomorrow. Aucklanders will be able to meet another household outside with a cap of no more than 10 people at any given time. Children can have a play date in a park. Friends can meet outside for a walk, a picnic or a beer. One household

at a time. It's very confusing and I tell you what I loved the torrent of mockery and questioning on social media. That was coming through even as the press conference was playing out in real time. Maybe the government shut down social media because of it. Just like, turn off social media. It's too much.

There's too many memes going around. There's people having picnics in the rain. There's people confused about the roadmap. We're fully gone communist guys turned into china uh so yeah so it's more confusing as to why printer ink is more more expensive than the actual printer this roadmap out of auckland at the moment and i can hey listen i can understand the difficult position they're in um but i'm i fear it makes them look incompetent like they don't know what they're doing.

It hangs question marks over their leadership and whether they are, because they've spent many, many weeks going, zero, eliminate the whole thing, it's not going to know cases. Then last press conference, she's like, this was always our plan. And you're like, hmm. Were you, hmm?

Yeah, oh yeah. And we don't want to be like, you don't have to, just be, hmm? Yeah, oh, yeah. And we don't want to be like, you don't have to, just be honest. Just go, listen, Delta was a bitch. We can't knock it on the head. We're just going to have to change tact here a bit. And I think we'd all appreciate that a bit more instead of being talked to like idiots. Yeah, because the roadmap that they've released, the three stages of a roadmap over Auckland, it's a little bit confusing.

So we typed it into Surrey and this is what siri told us the roadmap out of auckland was your destination is the road map out of auckland left right down left a little bit more reverse you turn back flip now travel down the wrong way of the motorway stop at kfc left right right left right left you turn round about run red light use the toilet at your friend's house wait stop don't use the toilet at your friend's house pee in the bush spread your legs stop for a picnic with ones you love how can we prove how you love someone knows just stay at home it's less confusing Dead end There you go That's actual Google Maps At the moment to the road map out of Auckland

Now Ben you've done some wonderful research this morning Well I'm trying to get my head around this whole three step process And all the rules that are coming in at some stage And it is quite confusing So I haven't quite fully nailed it What does it matter for level two? Can they have, you know, I know 10 picnics with 10 people in Auckland. Can you have picnics with 100 people in level two?

Whoa. Where's that at? Yeah, that's a very good question because the rest of New Zealand obviously is staying in level two for the time being, though it looks like the capacity limit of 100 people at hospitality venues have been scrapped. Will be scrapped, sorry. So, yeah, but you're right.

I guess they can picnic away. Okay. Hey, we can all picnic. Hey, we can picnic too, buddy. I know. We just can't picnic as hard as they can picnic. Yeah, but we'll be out there picnicking. Don't you worry about that.

That's right. So, 0800, this is what we're going to do. If you've got a question, you're a little bit confused about the rollout of yesterday's plan, then you can call us up right now. Ben Boyce will do his best to answer it, whether you're level two or level three with picnics. We'll take all calls. Text 4487.

Can you get a haircut now? If I'm coincidentally at a picnic with my cousin who's a hairdresser, and my cousin brings their scissors and razor. Because you can't get a haircut, obviously. Well, I can't. I've got no need for a haircut. You can get an outdoor haircut. But can you? Because you're meant to be social distancing.

You wear masks on as well, but if you're in the bubble, you may have to... What if I'm getting a haircut and I have a full bladder? What do I do then? You might have found some technicalities. You may have thrown these in. You're like Tova O'Brien in a press conference, aren't you? We'll get to these next after Ed Sheeran, Bad Habits on the Hits.

Every time you come around, you know I can't say. My bad habits get to you. Ed Sheeran, Bad Habits, you're on the Hits. Yesterday, the Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern, announced a three-step roadmap to ease lockdown in Auckland. It's a wee bit confusing. There's a lot of questions. So a lot of questions put to them yesterday because it's basically like level three with picnics.

And then they got into conversations about whether you could go to the bathroom at someone's house. And they started talking all about that. Keep it outside. Nice and simple. If you haven't got a good bladder, don't stay for long.

We haven't modelled that particular scenario, but it's the gathering of people inside. And I'm assuming they're not all going to the toilet at the same time. Yeah, great question from whoever Was that a Tova or was that a Jessica? It was Jessica then Tova They both half asked the question But what if my bladder's weak? There's a tag on there

Wonderful stuff. So 0800 the hits Ben Boyce has done some deep research into what the rules mean for both level 2 and level 3 The road map, although we have got to the end of the road I think in the road map They are more confusing than me trying to reset my work password yeah which can be complicated but hayley uh welcome from hamilton uh your question for ben hey guys i i'm very confused about whether i'm allowed to pat another person's cute dog or not. Oh, you're a dog patter. I actually did read something about that. A serial patter on the phone here.

Okay. Serious patter. So, okay, so sadly it's best avoided under alert level three. So if you're in the South Island, you can pat. They can pat any dog they want. I think a pat away, but under alert level three, it's best to only pat your own dog. It doesn't say where you can pat,

whether that's just a scratch behind the ears or whether that's a pat on the back. I'm not sure. So to all the dog patting enthusiasts out there, we deeply apologise. Is that the same rules for cats as well? Oh, that's a very good point. Cats, to be honest, probably don't want you patting them, if I don't have any experience in cats.

Cats are always socially distancing from human beings. Hayley, thank you very much. We've got Sarah on the phone. What's your question for Ben? I'm just confused by what... The answer's yes. Or no. Actually, the answer could be no.

Are you doing it with people you love or you don't love? What's your question? What's your question? And we'll try and make sense of it because I've got a lot of stuff, a lot of pieces of paper around right now. I'm trying to work things out. What's your question? About the visiting in parks and how many people you can visit in the parks.

So you can basically, from what I understand, is no more than 10 people and basically two different bubbles that can mix together. So no more than two bubbles and no more than 10 people and uh and and basically two different bubbles that can mix together so no more than two bubbles and no more than 10 people doesn't it all depend on how much you love those people though no how can they prove how much i love them things in there so i could meet with your family at a park do you love my family well yeah i'm sure not as much as you probably but i do love your family and so we can meet in the park uh there's under 10 people so you've got four i've got four we can meet in the park. There's under 10 people. So you've got four, I've got four. We can meet there. What if Sarah brings her

family along? Well no, we couldn't meet. We couldn't all meet together. No, we'd have to do that separately. I'll catch up with you in the afternoon Sarah. You can do that separately. Outside? Has to be outside though. I have to be outside. Yes, can't be indoors. You can't do this indoors. So that's where the grey area kind of comes in because you can...

So I can catch up with a family of 10? No. No. In total 10. Total of 10, yes. Because no family has 10 people in it. Well, that might do it. There's a lot of confusing questions.

Now, we've got a text on 4487 from a C Gayford wondering if he can go fishing. What are the results on that, Ben Boyce? C Gayford. Well, it's funny. It seems like you can according to the government go fishing but then Coast Guard New Zealand have also said they're just trying to seek clarification of exactly what that means so maybe it's best to check before you head out and see Gayford. Maybe you can move your house on your renovation show and then after you've done that go fishing. Jack you're on from Ruatoria, the road map.

What's your question for Ben Boyce? Well, I live in central Ruatoria. Not many people know where that is, but most of the people in Ruatoria know where my house is. I've got a front porch that can seat approximately 80 people where we normally sit and smoke my giant 80-ho snake. Which to most people would make it relatable to a normal Kiwi, would be a giant bong. I don't know if there's much about this.

Can Jack smoke his 80 person bong on his dick? You might have stubbed me on that one. Hey, hey, hey, hey, boys, boys, this is all about me. Everyone in Ruatōia knows who my house is. It's one... Asterisk J Street. But, you know, we've got, like, 10,000 plants out in the round terms at the moment. Should we go and pull the seedlings out and just smoke last year's crop this year? Because we're not going to need the weed from this year's crop. We're not going to be smoking for six months or what?

I want to know what's going on. I mean, it's affecting everyone. That's why I grow dope and pay my taxes. You know what I'm saying? I don't know. You've got to feel the brothers in the park. Oh, Jack. I can't roll up and sit on top of my head down here.

The more we leave Jack on, the more trouble I think we're going to get in. I love you, Jack. I've got something else to say. Okay, okay, right, Jack. I can talk to hours about how much you do. Jack's stopped us. He's stopped us, Jack. I can smoke the house. I don't know how much to do. Jack has stopped us. He's stopped us, Jack. He's definitely stopped us.

There's nothing in there that the government has released so far about smoking bongs. But maybe that'll be in the phase two or three of the announcement, but I haven't seen anything there. Well, if you're doing it with ten of your friends in a park, it should be okay. I don't know. No, I think there was a referendum last year that may say otherwise.

You got John Owen there. No, I think there was a referendum last year that may say otherwise. It is this. You got Jono and Ben. Welcome to Two Half-Assed Dads Do a Half-Assed Job. Official title, Jono and Ben, New Zealand's Breakfast. I had a moment yesterday where I did something silly, thinking I was in the safety of my own house, and then realized that I wasn't.

So I was hanging out some washing outside, and my two daughters, S indy that was thing outside they weren't going to ask they're just reading the books on their beanbags next to the fence i was hanging out some wonderful setting yeah it was beautiful sunny days a lot of breeze playing who would have thought you were about to be unloaded with the most confusing roadmap known in the history of roadmaps yeah yeah it was before this my head was clear for him i wasn't trying to think about the roadmap i was just uh putting the washing out and then i was like you know now and again i'm the goofy dad at home just be silly for the kids they roll their eyes at me that sort of thing so he's phil dumpy basically yeah modern family so i was hanging out

the washing and i got to appear in my boxer shorts and for some reason I thought I'd put them on my head, over my head, and then come out to the girls going, woo, woo, look at me. Like, I don't know why. You're a showman. Yeah, I was a showman. They were clean underwear. They were clean. Oh, gosh.

Yeah. My own underpants. I thought, you know, there's nothing weird with that. Are these your silk Looney Tunes boxer shorts? No, just your traditional sort of, you know, bright coloured though. Making a statement. Yeah. But I thought the girls, you know, bright colored though. Making a statement. Yeah. But I thought the girls, you know, maybe they'll give a laugh or maybe they'll roll their eyes and go back to the books.

I don't know. I just was like, hey, in spirit of the moment, I'll do this. But I sort of went, woo, woo, look at me with the underpants on my head. And the girls, well, I couldn't really tell at the time because I had my underpants over my head. But they didn't give much of the reaction. But when I did pull the underpants off, I could see the next door neighbour standing on his side of the fence looking at me going, like, what are you doing? And he couldn't see the girls.

Did he give you anything? Did any of the audience give you anything? I mean, you're putting underpants on your head. No, because I think in his head, it was a show for him. He had no idea that the girls were sitting on the B-bags underneath. So was he confused, amused, or was he? He was about as confused as that level announcement yesterday. You know, he was looking like, is this for me?

Like, why would you? Is selling your house and moving out an option? I thought about it. That's a realistic one. Now, is this the neighbor who you uh fleeced his wife's knickers off the line no that was at a friend's that was a friend's neighbor so that was awkward at their place uh that was the dog too just to come into the conversation yeah i was gonna be like when is he gonna bring out the dog or is he not gonna mention that so apparently the dog, or is he not going to mention that? It was the dog that took it from the washing room. So apparently the dog went over to the neighbours, took the knickers, Ben then had to return them.

Apologies were made. Knickers were handed back to their rightful owners, and restraining orders were issued. Well, now I feel like I'm, yeah, I did it yesterday. It was one of those moments you're like, what did I? And you're in the spirit of the moment when you're embarrassed and you're like, you don't explain yourself very well. You're like, oh, I just was doing that for the kids and the kids they made no noise they can't they carried

on their reading they're just a menace you're a menace around your neighborhood i mean the houses surrounding ben boyce's property the only ones to go down in value in this booming property market yeah so that was me yesterday so i don't know what the lesson is in that one they'll just go out and have lots of picnics so you don't have to see him. That's your only option. Apart from selling the house, the other option is just picnic away. Oh, what a tune it is, the Spice Girls wannabe. You're on the hits, John O'Bien, 7.35.

The Spice Girls, it was part one of a really, really fascinating Spice Girls doco last night about how girl power changed the world on TVNZ. Yeah, and I tell you what I want, what I really, really want, is a rock-solid review of last night's documentary, because I didn't get to see it, and I want it from an expert, Ben. Yeah, not me. No, you. You're the expert on the roadmap out of Auckland.

Wow. You can't be an expert on everything. Belle Crawford on from the Hits in Wellington. How are you, Belle Morena? Oh, I'm good, thanks, Morena. Thanks for having me on, Legends. How are you going?

Lovely to have you on and thank you for getting the memo about calling us Legends that's in our contract. Yeah, they told me I had to say that. Clause 4.1, must refer to them as Legends.

Now, Belle, you've got a really interesting connection with the Spice Girls. What's happened? Yeah, well, I love that I've just become, you know, Now, Belle, you've got a really interesting connection with the Spice Girls. What's happened? Yeah, well, I love that I've just become, you know, this, like, Spice Girls ambassador for New Zealand. It's a great honour.

You know, it's like a childhood dream. And, you know, dreams do come true. Dream big. But, no, yeah, I mean, it was, forget picnics. It was like Christmas last night, you know. Three-part Spice Girls doco. Wow. I'm excited.

You do a really awesome podcast called The Self-Love Club, and you basically talk to Sporty Spice, Mel C, on your podcast for like 45 minutes, right? Yeah, it was like a 50-minute sit-down chat over Zoom during the old Panini last year. I tried to reach out and say that before that. When I first started The Self-Love Club, she was like my dream guest. And I i put it out there i even went to go see them in london at lindley you know a big fan over here guys and um and i didn't line up and then i tried last year i was like oh pandemic

crushing all our dreams i thought i'd reach out and it it worked so yeah i got to have a really cool chat with her she's honestly the nicest person and she's so lovely and so funny and yeah it was the best. She felt like best pals. We've actually got some audio of your interview with her. And what about advice people who want to do really amazing things and live their dream like you have? Just go for it.

I mean, do not take no for an answer. Don't allow anybody to dampen your flame. Just do it. I think that's what we proved as the Spice Girls. We went out there. We were like, you know what? We's what we proved as the spice girls we went out there we were like you know what we're going to be the biggest band in the world we are literally going to be an international band um you know we're going to be more successful than all the boy bands and we did it and what did you know what did they mean for you growing up bill oh i mean

i feel like most girls growing up in the 90s we went to the movie i remember going to it and walking out thinking i am a a spy school, you know. They really, they made us quite brave and I guess, I mean, they created Girl Power, which was just so huge. And yeah, they were just all our hopes and dreams, really. I mean, all of us would dress up and be them, but I guess we realise now that there was actually quite a deeper meaning to what was going on

than we obviously had any idea, yeah. Yeah, well, I did the same with the Avengers. I am one of the Avengers, and I ended up in A&E. So not advised. You can't lift a big hammer, unfortunately, Jono. But watching last night, you kind of forget how massive they were. I mean, they were just huge. We'd said before they had figurines, they had merchandise,

they were hanging out with President's Royal Family. They were massive. But was there any real surprises for you on part one of the doco? I mean, I obviously had chatted to her about the sexism they faced. But seeing it firsthand, I mean, it's quite confronting. They were very brave. And I think Mel B and Jerry really stood up for them. You see them on video shoots for a campaign,

and they're just facing sexism as it is so yeah actually made me feel a bit sorry for like it's it's sad but you know you knew they faced it but that was a bit confronting i think yeah yeah and you do like when you're that age that you were mentioning you're not quite uh digesting what their higher meaning is and what they're striving for and they've played such an important role in empowerment over the years. You know, when you think back to a time before that, probably girls or girl groups were sort of immortalised as, you know, sexualised figures, and that's, for the most part,

what their career was based on. But they were much more. Yeah, so much more. And, yeah, really, really, I mean, they changed, I think they changed the scene of pop music without getting too nerdy. But, like, yeah, they were epic, and they were quite naughty as well. I mean, you see them ditch the first guy, Chris, Paul Chris.

Yeah, I was confused by that. Like, so he was the guy that put them together, well, seemed to. Like, he had the audition process, but he seemed to have, like, they got rid of him pretty early on. They were living in a house together. He put them in a house, which he says was probably his undoing. And then Jerry rallied them all against him and they ran away in his car.

No, they stole Chris's car. Poor Chris. Yeah, this is before... Chris obviously didn't have watertight contracts with them or anything like that. That's always the case. Chris was just doing it for the love of it. Yeah.

Well, Chris, this sounds like an episode of a reality TV show where they voted Chris off the island and it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Chris, this sounds like an episode of a reality TV show where they voted Chris off the island and stole his vehicle. Hey, well, Belle, really cool that you had an interaction

with one of your heroes. That must have been epic. Yeah, life highlight. I'm not quite sure how I'm going to top it, guys. I don't know if you can relate to that, but yeah. Well, you just appeared

on the Hits breakfast of Channel 11. With those two legends to see, I don't want to put words in your mouth. Yeah, we did get a bit of an exclusive on there too. If you want to listen to the full chat,

she told us stuff that she's not told anyone. And trust me, I've listened to all the stuff. So, yeah. Oh, wow. Is that a cat? Yeah, sorry. I've got a kitten. She's kind of like climbing up next to me at the moment,

jumping around and having to kind of wrestle her at the same time. Well, you're doing a good job. I didn't even know there was a cat involved in this until then. You've done a wonderful job. Girl power. Belle, thank you so much for your time. You can catch Belle on The Hits in Wellington. I love your work, Belle.

Thanks for chatting this morning. Thanks so much, guys. See you, Belle. New Zealand's breakfast. This is Jono and Ben on The Hits. So very surely we're going to get into the big announcement

yesterday from the government and try and try and make sensible the what was going on yesterday I've been trying to research trying to get my head around it

but it's You've been like Russell Crowe in that movie Beautiful Mind or like Carrie from Homeland he's got bits of paper stuck all over the studio wall

he's trying to connect dots he's got you know how you get string and match up the bits of paper stuck all over the studio wall. He's trying to connect dots. He's got, you know, how you get string and match up the bits of paper with pins and stuff. It looks truly psychotic in here at the moment. Well, that's what I think we need to do this morning. To together get our head around what's happening. How we can move forward as a country

and get out of this. And we've also got an employment lawyer on as well on the show today. There's a lot of discussion around vaxxers and people who are not vaccinated returning to work or maybe you are already back at work in level 2 and whether your boss can say

whether you need to be vaccinated or not in their workplace. Yeah, we in New Zealand have said next year there's going to be a no jab, no fly policy for overseas travel, right? It's going to quickly become the vaccinated and the anti-vaccinated, isn't it? Yeah. Or the vaccine hesitant.

Vaccine hesitant. What the world needed was more division amongst people. I don't think we had enough of it before this. So it's quite good that we've got a little bit more just to sprinkle on top. All right, we'll try and make sense of yesterday's big announcement with you next. It is the hits. You've got Jono and Ben. Now, Aucklanders, they're set for a wee taste of freedom as some of the COVID-19 restrictions lift at 11.59 tonight after almost 50 days of lockdown. So yesterday there was a roadmap that Jacinda Ardern announced,

and it started with step one. Aucklanders will be able to meet another household outside with a cap of no more than 10 people at any given time. Children can have a play date in a park. Friends can meet outside for a walk, a picnic or a beer. One household at a time. So it's basically level three, but with picnics, is what people are describing it in some ways. I, in all honesty, can say I've never had a picnic.

Really? And I'm not about to start now. But you can drink outside with friends that you might be. Yeah, maybe picnics are my thing, and I haven't known all along. Maybe she's started something new. We're all going to enjoy picnics are my thing and I haven't known all along. Maybe she's started something new. We're all going to enjoy picnics. When was the last picnic you had? Oh, probably over summer. I would have probably

every weekend. Oh, you're a picnicker? Yeah. It's so good. You go eat your food at the beach, you eat at the party. Oh yeah, I know what they are. But you've never had one? Why not? I'm just like, oh, it feels too much admin. Why don't I just have a sandwich at home right okay uh yeah but a lot of people i imagine would have been googling uh parks in auckland

that you can drink beer at after she's like you can have a beer because obviously there's alcohol restrictions at some parks as well where you see you got to take those into account there's a lot of talk around the confusion of this whole roadmap though yeah there was an image going around the internet of just a children's drawing of uh crayon yeah just multiple colors just a big scribble and this is the roadmap out of auckland well yeah and i think everyone also yesterday was googling the weather forecast as well we're going we're gonna have picnics and then apparently it's a shocking weather forecast for the rest of the week uh so it is very confusing all these steps so right as you say it's like a like a like a child sort of scribbling and drawing.

Even Hilary Barry on Seven Sharp last night, because they were talking about playdates with kids, and you have to obviously stick to one bubble at a time, but could you have a second playdate? And this is what Jacinda Ardern had to say. Just to be clear, and I'm really not being flippant, because parents will want to know for the school holidays, can their kids have a playdate with one household in the morning,

outside in a park, no more than 10, and then have a play date in the afternoon with a different household outside in a park? Yes, yes they can. It's not limited. We're saying at any given time we ask it to be one household, but we haven't put a cap on the number. Of course, that's the kind of thing that's hard, that would be hard to police so we are being practical here but then couldn't you take covid from one group to another group in the same day yeah yeah definitely definitely this is why the epidemiologists are like what what what what you know the problem is they they probably in all honesty just wanted to keep Auckland in level 3 But they couldn't tell Auckland that Or else Auckland would get their pitchforks out

So they've tried to give it a little bit of leniency But in doing so you've opened Pandora's box When you've opened up the picnic box Everyone's going to start asking They find holes What if I'm constipated and I need to It sounds like you're going to have people over outside at your house. You can have another bubble.

But they can't use the toilet. No, that's the thing. You can't use your toilet. They can't go inside. They even talked about that in the press conference yesterday. Keep it outside. Nice and simple. If you haven't got a good ladder, don't stay for long.

We haven't modelled that particular scenario. But it's the gathering of people inside. And I'm assuming they're not all going to the toilet at the same time. Well, some of us like to play swords, actually. Ben and me do it at the work one sometimes, don't we? It's fun. Yeah, so it is a wee bit confusing, but you're right.

It seems to be like phase one of a three-step process that eventually will open Auckland up to level two, but no date's been set. So I'm trying to get my head around it. In the brainstorming room, they would have had a giant whiteboard of, okay, what are all the possible scenarios we're going to get questioned on and grilled on? And they would have had a good list.

Yeah. You know, but no one factored in the toilets. No one factored in seeing one group in the morning, one group in the afternoon. And you're meant to be still wearing a mask when you catch up with that group and then socially distance as well. And you're only allowed to take your mask off for eating and drinking. But, I mean, keeping a sort of tight rein on this is going to be quite tough.

Yeah. You know, like, give an organiser that little taste. Give them an inch, they'll take a mile. Full advantage taking this again. And then Ashley dropped a bomb, he reckons, another four to eight weeks of this whole scenario. Before things may ease back to sort of... End of November.

I mean, we're knocking on the door of Christmas, guys. Pull it together. Oh, jeez. Well, throughout the morning, if you've got any questions, 4487 or 0800 the hits. And we'll answer them, won't we? We'll try.

I'll try and get my head around it. We'll find out together this morning what the answer is to some of these questions, because it is, I'll be honest with you, I'm confused. And I feel, again, the South Island is still in level two. Yeah. What have you you done yeah must have done some dastardly stuff back in the day to deserve this yeah so give us a call or a text this morning and we'll make sense of this

throughout the show it is the hits you got jonathan ben jonathan ben our tv show jonathan ben good sports is back th night, TVNZ2. And it's 8 o'clock and you can win $1,000 this week just with the watch and win, which is pretty impressive. Yeah, we have a crack at a sport I didn't even know existed, to be honest. It's medieval fighting. And Sage Lawler, who was our guide and coach through this wild world, joins us on the phone right now. How are you, mate? I'm great, thank you. How are you guys?

Yeah, good. Lovely to have you on. It's lovely to hear your voice again because you meet all these great people and we don't keep in contact. We're shallow TV hosts. So explain to everyone the wild, wild sport that you take part in. So the name of the sport is HMB, which stands for historical medieval battles. And basically, to sum it up, it's similar to MMA, but in armor. And it starts from group fights to 1v1. And yeah, it's a magical world of medieval battles.

It's much like a Saturday night at Ben's house. You've got groups. You've got one-on-one. Imagine Game of Thrones in some way. People in full-on armour and the weapons that you guys have. Talk us through some of those. A lot of the weapons, you just have your standard swords or you can have a 200x.

My favourite one's a falchion, which is similar to a sword, but then it gets kind of fatter at the end, so it does more damage, all the weight's at the end. And mostly they're just made to, you know, inflict pain. The fighting, when we first witnessed it, was something to behold. It was putting the evil into medieval. We couldn't, but people were getting choked out,

people getting smashed on the head with axes. They've got helmets on, granted. But it just looks unnecessarily violent, and we were very nervous about heading into that cage. Well, it's a great release, I think, is the main thing. Most of the time, you're not going to get hurt. Maybe at the time, a little bit of pain, but afterwards it's such an adrenaline rush.

Well, yeah, all sorts do it as well. Men, women, they're all in the list, which we understand is the area that they all fight in. And it's full on. Why do you love it so much? I don't know. It is just a massive adrenaline rush and it's just the fun of fighting someone

and kind of being able to hit them as hard as you can but not really know that you're not going to hurt them at the same time, I think is another thing. And it's just a different sport. Like, I've tried so many other sports, and I just couldn't. I was just going to say, like, how many did you try until you ended up dressing up in medieval armor and swinging axes and swords at people?

A couple. I tried out for the cricket team at school and I ended up just sitting on the ground and like making a daisy chain. Craig, don't say that to Ben Boyce. He loves cricket. But I've told him it is the most boring sport on the planet.

One thing I really noticed, because John and I got to have a crack, and you all said on the TV show this week, we got to fight each other. But the first thing you notice when you put on the armor is, I mean, it sounds like an obvious thing to say, but it is so blimmin' heavy. So, like, every person's going to have a different weight, depending on the size and what it's made out of. Like, some people have their full kit made out of titanium,

so their kit is a lot lighter. But then you also, it's going out of. Like some people have their full kit made out of titanium, so their kit is a lot lighter. But then you also, it's going to be more painful just because titanium doesn't absorb the shock as well as like steel armor. But I think you're probably going to be looking around the average weight, about 25 kilos. Wow. So it's a lot.

It felt like I was carrying around a steel crane or something on my body. And then you've got to swing the sword at the same time and it just, you're exhausted in about 15 seconds. Basically, yeah. But it's all to do with training. The more you train in your armour, we call it armour fit.

So basically you put on your gear and you're used to that weight. Yeah, that was our thing. We probably did it in the afternoon. Your armour fit, we're not fit. So points are scored though by basically getting blows, hitting your opponent, right? In the 1v1. But then in the group fights, the points are based on the people you take.

So if you take somebody down, if it's five versus five, you want to take out the whole team and put them on the ground, and that's when they're out. Then they're done. When you're on the ground, too, it feels like you're a tortoise who's been tipped upside down on its shell. A little bit. That takes a lot of training as well. It's kind of like doing burpees, but worse.

Yeah, well, it's a real sight, and I can't wait for everyone to see what you guys do and what you're so passionate about on the TV show this week. But you've traveled the world doing this sport. I mean, firstly, carry-on luggage must be very expensive and also involve a lot of weird conversations with the security. Yeah, definitely. When me and my friend, we were going over to one of the big tournaments overseas, we went through Japan, and we ended up getting nearly arrested

for taking swords through Japan because it's highly illegal to do that. And we had no idea because we wanted to stay the night in Tokyo and go have a look around. So technically that was counted as, like, importing, exporting of weapons through Japan. Oh, right. Who would have thought they would frown upon taking swords through the centre of Tokyo? I can say it's probably the first and only time I would have done that in my life.

And it was quite the sight to behold. You can catch it on Thursday, 8 p.m., Good Sports on TVNZ2. Sage Lawler, really appreciate your time, and it was great meeting you, mate. Yeah, you too. Thank you. Yesterday, the Prime Minister announced the roadmap out of Auckland, which maybe is leading to a dead end. I'm not entirely sure. But step one, as of tomorrow, basically allows two household bubbles to mix outside in groups up to 10 people and then we go on to step two at some stage they haven't said when step two is going to happen but that's up to 25 can meet in places like libraries museums pools and zoos can open and then step

three whenever that happens maybe sometime in the future gatherings will increase to 50 with restaurants cafes bars will open so we're trying to get our heads around what's happening because there's a lot of a lot of there's rules but then there's a lot of questions about these rules yeah now also if you want to use someone's toilet that's a no-no you're going to have to go in their bush okay yeah yeah and i think a lot of the public toilets aren't actually open as well so what happens if you're meeting someone at the park and i don't know it's very confusing and i mean there's different variations of going to the toilet too so let's hope you're not in someone's front yard. What are you doing?

I can't use your toilet. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Not my role. Can you not do it in front of the neighbours? Well, we wanted to kind of know the mood of the nation this morning because I imagine there'd be a lot of frustration around, particularly if you own like a cafe, you own a restaurant.

And if you're in the South Island, as you said before, you'd be so frustrated that you've had you haven't had covered for so long in the community and you're still under these restrictions you know jen my wife she uh she wants to get her eyebrows microbladed like brian tamaki oh yeah yeah he's got great great eyebrows and kate hawksby posted something on her instagram was like what has gone on with those eyebrows she said if anything we should charge the person who microbladed Brian Tameki's eyebrows. But she was talking to her eyebrow lady, the poor lady's in tears. She's like, I can't afford rent on my place anymore. These small businesses who are just left with no end in sight.

What can they do? What can't they do? When can they open up? No one knows. Frustrating, particularly for those in the South Island where there's no end in sight. What can they do? What can't they do? When can they open up? No one knows. Frustrating, particularly for those in the South Island, where there's no COVID. There hasn't been. In Fairleigh, Ben's mum, producer Behum's mum,

Mrs Humphrey is sitting there in Fairleigh in level two. Why? Have they even heard of COVID in Fairleigh? No, they haven't even heard it's a thing. But they're in level two for some reason. Yeah, what's the mood of the nation? Did it help you, yesterday's announcement? Or has it left you, like us, a lot more confused

of what you're allowed to do? 0800, that hits the telephone number. We've got some prizes up for grabs. 4487 on the text. Just don't ask me what they are. I'm as confusing as Ardern on this one. From a socially distantly safe two metres. Stay away.

This is New Zealand's Breakfast. With Jono and Ben. The government announcing yesterday the road map to Auckland, basically getting out of this, whatever we're in right now. And it's a wee bit confusing, this current road map, right? We've actually got audio of the road map. Your destination is the road map out of Auckland. Left. down left a little bit more reverse you turn back flip now travel down the wrong way of the motorway stop at kfc left right right left right left you turn round about run

red light use the toilet at your friend's house wait stop don't use the toilet at your friend's There you go. That's the roadmap out of Auckland as we know it. Those are the directions you need to remember if someone asks you, how do we get out of this? Okay Those are the directions you need to remember if someone asks you how do we get out of this? Okay that's what you need to say. So we're going to

do the mood of the nation right now. Trina we'll get you on from Colin Meade's country. Tika Witte

welcome. Lovely to have you on Trina. The mood of the nation. Sam Kane playing for King Country

this weekend is that correct? Yeah all about Captain. That's good for the mood of the nation. Is Sam Cain playing for King Country this weekend? Is that correct? Yeah, all black captain? Yeah, that's good. That's good for the mood in King Country. Yeah, but who's the guy who usually plays in Sam Cain's position?

Feel sorry for him. Sorry. I hate rugby. You hate rugby? Trina hates rugby. Okay, well, Trina, what's your... You've tried to have

light banter and... Oh, no, I shouldn't have gone there. Most hated topic. Sorry, Trina. Mood of the nation, Trina. How are you feeling out there, mate?

Oh, I'm all right. I don't live in a lockdown area, but I work in a lockdown area. I work just south of Hamilton in Ohau Po. But my dog's doggy daycare is in lockdown, which is right on the boundary, which is in lockdown. So how do you navigate your way around that? No idea. I'm hoping they're going to still let me in.

Are they going to police me going into my doggy cake here, which is on the boundary, or not? Who knows? We'll see in about an hour. Who knows? Well, do you want to update us, Trina, and see how it goes? I mean, you're in a very complicated situation. Yeah, but I

work for a place called the New Zealand Cookie Company, and all our cookies go to Auckland, but of course we can't sell them because Auckland's on lockdown. Oh, hold on. We've got a lot of picnics on the horizon. We can do with some cookies. And can your dog get a

haircut? There's so many questions. So many questions. Do my co-workers that live in Hamilton, are they allowed to come to work like I can? Who knows? They're all locked out. Yeah, I'm trying to get my head around the whole thing. Ben Boyce is going to open up

an Ask Ben Anything line after 7 o'clock where he's done a lot of research into this. You can ask Ben anything about this road map out of this Level 3 situation. And we'll do that after 7 o'clock. Evelyn, you're on for the Coromandel. Welcome. Mood of the Nation.

How are you feeling, Ev? Oh, well, I didn't say before, but now I'm going to use the word pissed off. Oh, you're feeling pissed off? Yeah. I'm over it. You're in the Coromandel. You're level two, obviously. Yeah, but my family's in Auckland.

And we cancelled our trip to go to Raglan in a few days. And I'm in the middle of an implant. And I can't get it finished. So otherwise, yeah, life is pretty good here. Oh, yeah. Well, you've got an implant. What sort of implant? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, my friend's asking if it was a breast, but no, it's a tooth. Oh, tooth implant. Oh, right. Oh, so you're very open about your breast implants at 6.30 in the morning. Your choice, though? Yeah.

It's like, wow, it's a very open relationship we have with Evelyn. Well, I'm sorry you're upset. I know it's frustrating for a lot of the country. I don't know what else to say. It is frustrating. Yeah, I'm sure it's frustrating as well for the government, not China. I'm sure that, as you said the other day, they don't want to be in this position, and they're trying to navigate through the best they can.

But I feel like they've made it a lot more confusing. Would it have been easier if Auckland just stayed at level three and the rest of the country went to level one? Yeah, maybe. Maybe. But who am I to say? Just some schmuck who says some words on the radio in the morning. Yeah, but you've got a microphone,

so you can say that to the whole country. Which is quite dangerous at times. Yeah. Jono and Ben's McDonald's Monopoly Peel and Win. It's a really fun game to play, and you can play it at Macca's right now, the Monopoly game. There's over $107 million in prizes to be won,

and we do a virtual version of it each morning on the radio. We're very excited. I mean, this time yesterday, we gave a treadmill away. We did. That's too much prize, too early in the morning. But that's how this thing works. Have you ever noticed how giant the Monopoly man's head is? That guy has got the biggest noggin.

It's gargantuan. He could go to Capabilities at the mall, and they wouldn't be able to fit a cap on his head, is that big? But doesn't he have a hat? Does he have a little top hat? He does. Jeez, it must be bespoke. That would have been made to measure, that top hat.

It's a big noggin. It's a big old head. So we've given away a couple of clues on the Hits Breakfast Instagram. There's a bit of a visual clue there for you, but you've got a vocal one too out of your sweet lips. So clue number one this morning to guess where we are on our virtual Monopoly tour of New Zealand. Home of the National

Clock Museum. Now, actually, I do know this. I did. This is one of the first clues I could Now, actually, I do know this. I did. This is one of the first clues I could have got. Were you going to the Clock Museum or did Guy Williams go to the Clock Museum? I've actually eaten lunch. I had a picnic outside the Clock Museum, but I haven't been inside the Clock Museum. Daylight savings would be an absolute nightmare for the Clock Museum.

Wouldn't you be dreading that? Two times a year you've just got this. Anyway, we'll go to the phones because they're already blowing up. We've got Andrew on from Hamilton. Morning, Andrew. Morning, how's it going? Great to have you on. Jeez, you've got a wonderful, smooth voice.

I could listen to you talk all day. Oh, we've got the answer in the background there. You've seen the clue on the Hits Breakfast Insta. You've heard the clue out of Ben's mouth. Where are we on the Monopoly board today with McDonald's? The Town Basin. Town Basin and Fun. And Fungaro. Yes, that's the one.

You have won a prize. Let's find out what it is. Today you've won a $300 entertainment pack. Games, movie tickets, snacks, $300 to spend there on entertainment. That's pretty sweet. Thank you. No worries.

And you can play McDonald's Monopoly. You can play McDonald's. You can play Monopoly right now at Macca's as well and win some of those sweet, sweet prizes in store. Do you want another prize? Does he want one? Yeah? Well, how about I send you over an oiled up Ben Boyce to your house?

Send that to your door. You're going to have Ben Boyce on a platter. What price do you put on that? More than $107 million. As long as it's outside in a park situation. With 10 friends. Yeah, only two bubbles in that thing there. Hey, good on you, Andrew.

Thank you so much for listening. You can head to Macca's to play Monopoly now. Very fun stuff. So much fun. The Head Spy with McDonald's Monopoly. Peel and scan your way to over $107 million in prizes. Oh, someone call the midwife. Juliette's waters have broken,

and she's about to give birth to another celebrity news bulletin. It's a beautiful little baby celebrity news bulletin you have there, Juliette. Thank you very much. So Lizzo, she's an artist that we all love and respect, and she kind of hasn't really put a foot wrong so far. But something has happened quite recently where people are a bit confused and a bit saddened. So a video has gone viral on twitter of um her and chris brown backstage at sort of an event or an awards show concert and she is seen to be asking him for a photo because

she he's her favorite person in the whole beeping world um and so everyone's like wait hold on you're saying chris brown is your favorite person in the whole world uh and the things that he's done in the past is not very good and people are like being going bill cosby's my favorite comedian it's the same thing yeah controversial he's tarnished yeah and so people are kind of like lizzo this isn't you come on like we know you're better than this she obviously probably didn't know that it was going to go viral or that maybe it was caught on camera. But this will probably be something that she'll have to learn from, I think. What's Chris Brown's relationship like with Rihanna now? Are they friends again?

I don't know. I don't know. I don't think they should be friends. For a period there, I think Rihanna had a restraining order against him, which was very good. I don't know how long that lasted or if that's still in place. But yeah, not the best thing for Lizzo to be going through at the moment and for people to see of Lizzo. But hopefully she can learn from that. And more happier news, Michelle Obama and Barack Obama

have celebrated 29 years of marriage. They posted on Instagram, apparently, but I can't see it because Instagram's down at the moment. Facebook, Instagram down worldwide at the moment. Worldwide? Oh gosh. Julie, it's like I can't do my job. Instagram is not working. I can't see the photo they've posted

for their 29th anniversary. I don't know what the man put to me for breakfast yet. No, but they did apparently post a photo. Michelle posted one, a bit of a flashback, and then a current one, how it started versus how it's going. Happy anniversary, Barack. Love you.

And then he posted a similar photo. Over the past 29 years, I've loved watching the world get to know you, not just as a daughter of the South Side, but as a mother, lawyer, executive, author, first lady, and my best friend. I can't imagine life without you. Oh, I love their relationship. They didn't actually talk to each other on the day.

They just posted favourable comments on the internet and that's how you know someone loves someone nowadays. They sit in silence. But happy anniversary to Michelle and Barack. That means 30 years next year. That's a great stint. 50% of marriages don't last.

I know. That scares me. Once you reach that 30-year mark, you're like, oh, there's no point. No point in change. It's too much admin to divorce now. Well, didn't Bill Gates and Melinda Gates,

they got divorced after a similar amount of time. I think it was like 27 years. I might have that wrong off the top of my head. I think you're right. It's quite a long time. My friends are like, I'm never going to get divorced. Just all the paperwork is too much of a scared of getting married because i'm scared of

divorce but it's probably quite good because it means i'm very picky so you know are you are you picky are you quite picky yeah right yeah yeah have you got a boyfriend at the moment no no no i'm picking i'm sure i don't know what what goes on in Julia's private life and nor should I. You can ask him in open books. Yeah, I'm considering staying. I think I want to stay single until like late 20s. That's the plan. Yeah, because I want to live my life.

It's very difficult at the time because dating would be very tough in the current environment. My friends who are on Bumble, I can't be bothered with that right now. My friends who are on it though are like, oh yeah, you kind of run out of conversation after you know you're like there's only so much you can talk about with small talk on dating apps right now because everyone's in lockdown yeah that's right usually by now you'd be bumping uglies and moving on to the next one yeah you can have a picnic socially distanced

but you can date 10 people at a time in the morning and the evening not to get it you're right but you can't go home together so you're just at the park. What is this, conversation? Yeah, awkward. And that's your Spy Update for this morning. That's thanks to McDonald's. You can download the McDonald's app to play and win prizes with the Monopoly game at Macca's.

New Zealand's breakfast. It's Jono and Ben. Got me in love. On the hits. Morena, just gone 7 o'clock here with Jono and Ben on the hits. As you just heard in the news, Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, it's all down. The platforms are all down. So right now,

I tell you what, just watching a millennial right now with our own eyes in real time. Twiddling my thumbs. Just melting. Just disintegrating as the minutes pass, Julie. So what we're going to have to do right now is we're going to have to describe posts. And you just have pass, Juliet. So what we're going to have to do right now is we're going to have to describe posts. And you just have to imagine them. So just imagine someone's legs at the beach and the ocean behind.

Imagine that. Yeah. Imagine Dwayne The Rock Johnson. He's doing a workout in his iron paradise. Imagine Ben Boyce pointing at his fit tee that he sells on Instagram. Not fit tee, but if I do hock off a product, I'll put a hashtag ad. So you can imagine that right now. Imagine someone else doing a high-angle photo with a duck face.

Love it. The moments like these, we've said it before, but you realise how reliant we are. Oh my god. You were just like, I can't do half of my job now. I know. There's audio I need to get from Instagram. I'm like, oh god, I can't get it now. You guys are just going to have to speak more words.

You know, back in the day, if we wanted any information, I'd pull out my encyclopedia Britannica. You have to go to the right chapter. They probably wouldn't have that information for you, would they? Back in the day when I first started, we'd have to refer to the Bible that was just written. New book on shelves.

Bestseller. You know, pull out little quips and information from that on the radio, on Bethlehem FM. I was doing the breakfast show, and there were some great stunts. Great stunts. Let's go out with some bang. Here we go. You're on the hits, Jono and Ben, this morning.

If you're checking your Facebook or Instagram, and you're like, what's going on? There's a worldwide outage. Facebook, WhatsApp and Instagram right now don't seem to be working for anyone. I tell you what, no one is hurting harder than poor producer Juliet at the moment. It makes my job really hard. I feel like we need to do a public service

announcement ad calling for donations for Juliet at the moment. She looks different. It changes me. Broken. The Head Spy with McDonald's Monopoly. Peel and scan your way to over $107 million in prizes. Well, I tell you what, one day Juliet's going to look back on this moment in her career and go,

geez, I did some hard yards there. And here she is with Spy. So, you know this song? Very good song by Harry Styles. Probably one of his most successful, I'd say. He's doing a tour at the moment. And on stage, he confirmed the meaning of this song. I'm not going to say what the meaning is because I don't think it's appropriate.

Oh, there was also rumours around what the meaning might have been. Yeah. And it is. He's confirmed. He's come out and said it. But he said it like very straightforward to the crowd. So if there were any kids in the crowd, they'd be like, what's that? I don't believe you.

I need to hear the audio of Harry explaining the song. It's not wholesome, obviously. No. No, but he's done very well with masking sort of metaphorically. I know my grandparents were a big fan of grapefruit and sugar. They would have a grapefruit for breakfast. And because they're such a sour thing, they would always dose it with so much and sugar. They would have a grapefruit for breakfast. And because they're such a sour thing, they would always dose it with so much brown sugar.

So that would be their version of the grapefruit sugar song. Now that I put my grandparents in that connotation, I'm starting to regret it. Yeah, I'm regretting you bringing that up. Is this your grandparents who lived out of the caravan? No, there's other ones. Other ones. Yeah, no, I'm regretting that as well.

Do we have a couple of seconds? Do we have a couple of seconds? Because we have a couple of seconds? Because I have a bit of a moment that I'd like to bring. It's just quite poignant that you brought up grapefruits, Ben Boyce, because for many years I have boasted about my This is not the lemons moment, is it? My lemon tree. Oh my god, I think you're going to say something else.

My lemon tree in my front yard and I've been promising that I'd bring in lemons for Juliet and Ben. Yeah, you have. Oh my goodness. Has he got lemons? Has he got lemons? And I've been promising that I'd bring in lemons for Juliet and Ben. Yeah, you have. And hold on. You keep saying it. Oh, my goodness. So many times.

Who wants lemons? Has he got lemons? Has he got lemons? Yes, I have. Oh, you've got one in. Holy moly. You've got one in. How's that going to?

Wait, is there only one? You can fight over it. It's a single lemon. You know what? I'm actually not as impressed anymore because lemons are so cheap now. I wanted lemons when they were expensive. I think I've got too many lemons now. Yeah.

You guys were berating me for years about bringing a lemon. Put one in. There you go, take the lemon. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. But you'll also need some water and sugar, otherwise get some of Harry Styles' watermelon sugar. Sweeten it up a bit. So the lemon man has come through. Although you

seem disappointed. No, I'm grateful. Thank you. Thanks for that. We'll have it afterwards. It was a very big lemon, so thank you very much for that. And that's your Spy Update featuring Lemon Update. Thanks to McDonald's. You can download the McDonald's app to play and win prizes with the Monopoly game at Macca's.

You're on the hits, Jono and Ben, Tuesday morning. We've got an employment lawyer on the phone right now. Hello, Fiona McMillan from Lana Neve. How are you? I'm good. How are you guys? I'm very impressed that I remembered all of that information. Yeah, well done, Jono.

There's a lot for me to, I mean, you're probably less impressed. You're a lawyer. But for a simple radio announcer to remember more than six words is a big feat. Now, Fiona, we've got you on this morning. Interesting times with vaccinated, unvaccinated. Can people go to work? Can't they go to work? Can the employer say yes or no? Where does it all sit? Yeah, so look, the starting point is that employers can't make vaccination compulsory. There are two exceptions to that. The first is there is a health order in place for border workers,

so those who work at the airport, those who work at MIQ facilities, they have to be vaccinated. And the other exception is an employer can undertake a health and safety assessment and decide that a person in a certain role does need to be vaccinated. Do you think there's any chance that the laws might change over there? Because that's currently where things sit, but do you think there's any chance that could change? Yeah, so look, the Prime Minister's made it very clear that she's not going to make vaccination generally compulsory.

Whether we see it become compulsory for certain sectors, et cetera, that might change. We've seen in Melbourne that they're looking to make those in the construction sector compulsory for them. We've seen in the States that they're saying to make certain sectors compulsory, health workers, teachers, et cetera. So we might see it come into play for certain sectors, but I don't think we're going to see a law that's going to make it compulsory So we might see it come into play for certain sectors, but I don't think we're going to see a law that's going to make it compulsory for everyone.

I'm an employer. I've got a small... I'm not, by the way. Yeah, but a good hypothetical. That's good. I started with a hypothetical. I just want to be clear that I'm not an employer. Stop bragging about your business.

I've got a thriving, thriving business, OK? 150 staff. OK. I must feel some thriving business, okay? 150 staff. I must feel some responsibility for, A, the upkeep of my business, and, B, the well-being of my staff. So surely it could be on me to make that call for my business. Yeah, and look, a lot of employers are essentially saying, look, we don't really care what the law says at the moment. We want to have the safest environment possible for our team and our customers.

So a lot of employers are just making it compulsory. And if someone brings a claim around it, they'll deal with it then. We are seeing some workplaces go, hang on, we think it's a really good health and safety reason for us to make it compulsory. So a good example is rest times. A lot of rest times have come out and said, hey, we are going to make it compulsory. So a good example is rest times. A lot of rest times have come out and said, hey, we are going to make it compulsory. So look, there is an acceptance that I guess we're in a little bit, a lot of employers are in a bit of a no man's land when it comes to this vaccination law.

So they are just making a call. Let's say I want to get a job at Jono's Successful Business and I'm in the job interview. Can he ask me if I've been vaccinated a lot or not and can he decide on employing me based on that by the way he's not getting the job i'm just gonna say he's gonna be lucky to get an interview you're with me fiona amen who let this riffraff all right well anyway fictitious thing but but can he ask me that yes um the privacy commissioner has come out and said that employers can ask the question, but they've got to have a legitimate reason to do so.

So it can't just be because you're being a little bit nosy. You've got to have a reason. So that might be health and safety. I know it's not. We've got employment lawyer Fiona McMillan with us. I know it's not your area of expertise, but a company like Air New Zealand says all passengers must be vaccinated. It's a huge call. I think it's the right call, but it's a big call to make to deprive someone who's not vaccinated not being able to catch one of their planes because I was at the supermarket

the other day and the security guard was getting a bit of a roasting from the boss there was obviously an incident with the lady who didn't have a mask on and the security guard wouldn't let her in but the boss the supermarket was like you've got to let her in all we can do is insist that she wears a mask. If she doesn't, she doesn't. So there's a human rights sort of bubbling away as well. Yeah, absolutely. And I think it's only a matter of time before someone brings a claim

in the Human Rights Commission because they weren't able to take any New Zealand flight or another example because they weren't vaccinated. So a lot of the stuff is quite untested. But I do think it's a matter of time. I think someone will eventually take it on and then we'll have a definitive answer. What about if you're at a workplace and someone's not vaccinated, you work closely with, you feel a bit uncomfortable with that situation? Do you have any rights there at all?

Yeah, and this is a really tough one, and I think this is potentially going to become more of an issue. So the starting point is you can say to your employer, hey, look, I don't feel safe because Mary, who I sit next to, is not vaccinated. Now, if you are going to raise a concern like that, the onus is on you to prove that you are unsafe. The employer then has an obligation

to undertake a health and safety assessment. And if they decide that there is a risk, then they've got an obligation to look to minimise or eliminate that risk. But if the employer does all those steps but you're still not happy and you start not turning up to work or refusing to do certain tasks

or refuse to sit next to Mary, you could be subject to disciplinary action yourself. And sincere apologies to Mary for shaming you as being an anti-vaxxer. Fiona apologises, I apologise. On behalf of Jono Prior Enterprises. Then I won't be getting a job, not even getting an interview,

that's the crushing thing as well. Is your work in the law firm, is it like the TV show Suits? Is it a bit like that? Look, I think because I'm on the radio, I'm going to say it's even sexier than that. Oh, right, great. I think we all know it's not.

Hey Fiona, really interesting talking to you. Thank you so much for shedding some light on that situation. And you keep safe and look after yourself. Thanks so much. Kids, keep up that learning or you'll end up like these guys. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast. It is the hits. Jono and Ben on your Tuesday morning.

Now, Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp all seem to be down a worldwide outage. And Producer Juliet, we've said this morning it's affected her more than anyone else before. Tuesday morning. Now Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp all seem to be down a worldwide outage and producer Juliet we've said this morning it's affected her more than anyone else. Before, like an hour ago you were angry. You threw your phone down and you were like, I can't do my job when I do this. We never see you angry. You're always bright and bubbly. But now I feel like you've just

reached another stage of grief. We've gone through the five stages. Why don't you just say just moments. This is without a word of a lie. I think I'm quite happy and grateful now This is all in a two hour period It'll force me If it goes on like today I'll be like yes Juliet you can go for walks

You can listen to podcasts You can read a book this is good for me We need to do an edit together of the last two hours Of Juliet's responses to the social media being down We should play that before nine o'clock. Yeah, I have looked at the stages of grief, and you have moved very quickly from basically shock and denial and then pain, and then now you're basically on the upward turn.

You're like, yeah, I've accepted. You've been through the depression. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, this is good. Listen, I don't want to pin the blame on anyone, but I feel like I might be partly responsible for this. Why?

Well, it's no coincidence i've just got onto instagram and yeah it's been a shaky start it has been it's been a rocky road i've had my own roadmap on instagram that's led to nowhere and been just as confusing for everyone involved and so maybe instagram was like well he's officially made that uncle we'll shut that down you know it's like when we started saying let's go and then we, yeah, we ruined that. When you started saying lit,

I was like, well, that's done. Don't give a dab, please. The Hits and HelloFresh. Pay it forward. We are paying it forward

with the Hits and HelloFresh. If you know a lockdown legend, do you want to nominate someone? You can head to thehits.co.nz right now and basically hook them up with two weeks of HelloFresh meal kits valued at $269

basically they'll have it all sorted fresh ingredients easy to follow recipes two weeks delivered to their door at hellofresh.co.nz it's simply delicious and you also because you're paying it forward

you'll go in the draw to win tickets to go to one of the biggest 2022 concerts. What are they? We don't know. Hopefully Dua Lipa will be here. Dua Lipa in November. She might be out of the safe zone. Guns N' Roses. We might be able to go to a picnic with Dua Lipa in November 2022.

A very small picnic, you're right. A tiny little picnic. But yes, HelloFresh. And if you want the joy, and I imagine it just takes a lot of stress out of the week, doesn't it? You know, the joy of a courier run off their feet, dropping off your meal on a Sunday night. But you're right, not having to

think about what you're making for food. It's half the problem, isn't it? And anyone who wants to sign up to my company, Hello Rotten, where we hand out rotten goods, expired goods. Hasn't quite had the same pick up as Hello Fresh. No, you're right. We're grafting away. Small business, okay? Let's go through to today's nominee.

Nominated. It's a birthday. Hello. Happy birthday to you. Pick it up. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Michelle. Happy birthday to you. Hoor, dear Michelle. Happy birthday to you.

Hooray! How are you, Michelle? I'm fantastic, thank you. J and B from the hits here, babes. Oh, wow. That's John or Ben, by the way. I was just assuming you'd know the acronym. But anyway, how are you?

I'm good, thank you. Well, happy birthday, firstly. What's your plan for the day? I've got to go into work today, but I think that's a good thing. I'd rather be there than at home at the moment. Oh, who wants to spend time with their family? I hear you. Amen.

We've had enough of that, right? Your best friend has nominated you for a lockdown legend. She's doing amazing work as a pharmacist and vaccinator in the community right now. So, yeah, it's pretty awesome. That's pretty cool. Do you know what we're going to give you for being a legend? No idea. Also managing three kids under five, we understand.

No wonder you want to spend more time at work. Yeah, I think it's harder for the husband at home trying to work with them. But we are going to give you two weeks of HelloFresh. Oh, awesome. That's fantastic. We've got your meals sorted you two weeks of Hello Fresh. Oh, awesome. That's fantastic. We've got your meals sorted for two weeks, value of $269. Yeah, so you can basically not have to worry about that

while you've got your hands full with everything else. Oh, that's so cool. And I know you've got little kitties. Don't worry, all of the family plan menus have been kid-tested and approved. I don't know what that means, but it sounds friendlier than animal testing. So does it mean they can cook

them too? I don't think they're quite at that stage. Hey, thanks for your hard work. Are you based in Auckland, are you? Yes, yes. Are you confused as the rest of us? Pretty much, yeah. Yeah. Carry on as normal. Okay, well tomorrow you can go and have a picnic

with ten friends in the morning, celebrate your birthday and then celebrate it again with another 10 friends in the afternoon. But as long as they're a bit hot work. Two butt winners. Anyway, yeah, we're trying to explain. Just don't let them use your toilet. Okay, that's the main rule. So it's bush only.

You sound very busy in the background, and we're just taking up your time here. Have a good one, Michelle. Okay, thank you. And if you want to nominate a lockdown legend uh thanks to hello fresh you can head to the hits.co.nz right now and you can pay it forward it is the hits it's the sugar babes round round it is the hits and now facebook whatsapp and instagram if you've been trying to log on this morning you're like what's what's going on there

it's down worldwide uh facebook have tweeted yeah that's right they've tweeted uh they're working on the problem and twitter has also tweeted hello to virtually everyone yeah it's been a while you're back to us back yeah myspace will start kicking things back into gear very shortly as well and uh while i've got everyone's attention and social media is down has anyone thought about cryptocurrency it's a wonderful investment option look ahead to your future juliet one of the joys of this And while I've got everyone's attention and social media is down, has anyone thought about cryptocurrency? It's a wonderful investment option. Look ahead to your future. Juliet, one of the joys of this morning over the last couple of hours has been watching the rollercoaster of emotions that you have been on,

the stages of grief that you've rolled through. We've just compiled a little medley of your... Instagram and Facebook are down. I was wondering why it wasn't working this morning. I feel like it's the Wi this morning. I was trying... I feel like it's the Wi-Fi. Literally, I want to see this photo of Michelle Obama and Barack Obama on their anniversary,

but I can't. Without a word of a lie. I think I'm quite, like, happy and grateful now that it's... This is all in a two-hour period. It'll force me... If it goes on, like, today, I'll be like,

yes, Juliet, you can go for walks, you can listen to podcasts, you can read a book. This is good for me. Yeah yeah and then the last thing she just said during that sugar babe song was she's gone back to anger i don't know how like i'm just oh my god because i was like okay i can i was like okay cool i can get some things on my to-do list done and i was like oh i might like see if the fed deli does takeaways today and then i was like oh but i want to see oh i want to see a review on instagram of the Fed Deli to see what I can get.

But then I was like, oh, Farad, I can't go on Instagram. Everything relates back to it. It makes me gravely concerned for a generation. It's an old person thing to say. I'm worried. It's actually an addiction. Like, you were worried that we've ruined the environment for you. Well, I'm worried about what you're going to do.

I know. Of course, today, though, is, well, 11.59 today then a little bit of freedom. A little bit of freedom. Picnics for Auckland tomorrow. Oh, lunchtime picnics. But you can't Instagram them, remember that. Well, you might. Hopefully by tomorrow it'll be back on board. Can we have a picnic today at lunch? Not today. No, not today, mate. You said 11.59.

Tonight. Oh, tonight. So a midnight picnic. We can have a midnight picnic if we wanted to go to a park. I'll meet you in the park at midnight. We always like to. And Ashley Bloomfield. Well, it's just, you know, it's under the cover of darkness, Drew. We have needs, and Ben fulfills those for me. We like to do them in public toilets.

Ashley Bloomfield indicated it might be another four to eight weeks of restrictions, maybe. So how's that? There's some fun news to end the show on. Join us tomorrow. We've actually got... I think he's the standout on Celebrity Treasure Island. He's become the people's favourite.

Lance Savali, dancer. Lance Savali is going to join us on the programme tomorrow. He's hilarious. Yeah, pretty exciting actually. And he has danced with everyone from Jennifer Lopez

to Justin Bieber. Beyonce, he danced with her. Yeah, so he joins us tomorrow on the show. Have a great Tuesday. We'll catch you tomorrow from six o'clock. See you then.

Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from 6 on The Hits and via the iHeartRadio app. Jono and Ben on The Hits Breakfast. Friends of Skinny. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh.