Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: We Are Finalists In NZ's Quote Of The Year! Move Over Chris Hipkins...

Episode Date: December 14, 2021

Who saw this coming!? Not us! The Hippo's infamous "spread your legs" quote is up alongside a quote we made about Judith Collins... We also found out that some of our listeners have been listening to Christmas music since OCTOBER (good on ya). Finally, we debated whether Ben should let his 12-year-old Sienna get Tiktok, but decided this JUDGE JUDY/JONO style. Enjoy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, brought to you by Resene, New Zealand's most trusted paint. Kiwi made since 1946. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Da da da da da, 14th of December. Welcome along to the podcast, the 14th of December today. Got to rush off a bit earlier today. My wife's in a lot of our office, because my wife works here, a lot of our office has been based at home for so long, and you just don't, we take for granted the joy of coming into work.

Yeah. A lot of people are starting to come back now, though. It feels like it's becoming the norm now. Yeah. It's good to see, actually. She's got her first work mission away from home. Got to rush back to. And a school assembly online today as well. Oh, online. We're going to do normal girl. Yeah. It's good to see, actually. She's got her first work mission away from home. We've got to rush back to her. And a school assembly online today as well.

We interview her assembly. Right. Tell you what, the online assembly's fantastic. Yeah, it'll be a lot better, actually, than going to the... Oh, just so I tell you what. Usually some of them can blow out to a three-hour bonanza. Really? Yeah, some of them.

I've sat through a three-hour one before. And, you know, once your... I don't want to sound callous, but once your kid's had a certificate, you want to get out. You want to get out of Dodge. You don't want to sit there. And my applause fades over time, and I end up just slapping my thigh. Three hours?

Jeez, that's a long one. Yeah, what's the longest haul you've done in an assembly? No, I don't think I've done that long in an assembly as such because they usually break it off into different parts of the school, which is quite good. Oh, that is genius. And that's a lot better. Quick fight. Just get them out quick, you know?

The year groups. We're going to do it in this year group or whatever it is. What I did really like, they implemented it at the primary school. The kids go to that. Hold your applause until all the kids are up there. So you're not doing single applause each person. It's just one giant one at the end and that knocks off a good 10 or 15 minutes.

You're right, that's really good. It's a good time shave of that. Applause sucks up a lot of time. And for what? It just makes your hands sore. Such a weird concept of applause. It is actually, you're right when you think about it. Who decided that clapping your hands together was to signify a job well done?

There was a weird debate online. I was thinking that they were like, when you clap, are you clapping one hand into the palm? Are you clapping across? Oh, yeah, I'm a palm camera. Do you know that one of the toughest things that I ever encountered hosting television was when you'd come back from an ad break, we would return to the camera and you and me would be sitting at the desk, but we weren't allowed to clap properly

because it was too loud on our microphone, so you'd just hear on our microphones. So we had to fake clap, and I was no good at fake clapping. I could never make fake clapping look natural. Yeah. I was like kind of about six inches away from my hair because I was too scared to even let them meet.

Yeah, no, it's one of those little tricks you don't expect. Well, not many shows arrogantly clap themselves

back in either too. No, they don't. Like, Simon Dello doesn't just go clap himself back in. Welcome back to the news.

All right, it's me, Simon Dello. Good to be with you. All right, what's happening today? Oh, Michael Baker's saying

some stuff about the traffic light system, guys. They should do. They should clap themselves back in. No one else arrogantly does that. When someone does the weather, well done. Sport.

Good on you, Hayley. Nice one. Good hustle out there. All right, let's get into the markets. That would be good. Add some applause. I do love the banter between the news presenter and the weather presenters and the sports person. Yeah, they have a bit of a banter, don't they?

They do, and it's never free-flowing. But it's never rehearsed either. So no one knows where to wrap up the banter. What's the banter of, you know. Someone will do a very good, you know, something to wrap it up. It's a tough

little banter hole they get themselves in there. You could just ignore the banter. Just get on with it. I'm due early. Thanks Simon. Well, you know, such and such. Yeah, it is tough. Someone included it in the format, and they all ran with it, and no one's nailed it.

Well, enjoy the podcast today. Plenty of hams to give away. Many people are listening to a lot of Christmas music because I'm going to be listening to Michael Bublé non-stop on Thursday in a desperate attempt to try and get him on the show. So that's all on the podcast. Enjoy. New Zealand's breakfast. This is Jono and Ben on the Hits.

Good morning. Welcome along to the show. It is a Tuesday morning. Jono and Ben back with you on the Hits. Just heard in the news there and we were seeing last night a lot of heavy rain and flooding around Fielding, Palmerston North Way. Real strong forecast to continue with some heavy rains over the next 48 hours. We did speak to Philip Duncan from Weather Watch last week for our basketball challenge that we did off Eden Park.

Two shots, and he did warn us. He warned us of heavy rain, and who would know that he would know that the heavy rain was coming. Tropical Cyclone Ruby, apparently, is causing a lot of the heavy rain to New Zealand. So I think you'd be everyone down there, it's a horrible time, especially before Christmas. It always does get quite moist, doesn't it, before Christmas?

Don't you find? The temperature? It's quite humid. It's always humid. Always humid and wet. For some reason, always when you get the same weather. Doesn't matter. I've never had a sunny lead into Christmas.

Although last week was brilliant. Someone was like, this is like February weather. That was the. I've never had a sunny lead into Christmas. Although last week was brilliant. Someone was like, this is like February weather. That was the conversation I had with someone. Yeah, it was too early. Too early to start saying February. Now, I got gifted something from security here at NZ Mean. Wonderful Christmas present. A packet of white crackers.

Now, I don't know if they were referring to me. It's just white crackers. Just white crackers. I don't know if they're saying, hey, here white cracker. Have some white crackers for Christmas. But as I don't know if they're saying, hey, here, white cracker. Get some white crackers for Christmas. But as I like crackers, very nice gift, isn't it? Did you get white crackers? No.

Did you get white cracker? No, I didn't. Just me. Hey, we've got a really big show for you this morning, so stick around. Your chance to guess what's in the Razine paint. This is a competition that has captured everyone's attention. It has, yes. $7,000 we have up for grabs.

We started with 10. Each wrong guess, we take 100 off the prize pool. It is back at 8.30 this morning. And how we are hoping to get the attention of Michael Bublé this week. We need your help with that one. We'll explain more. It is the hits. The show where the masks make them look a whole lot better.

Can't save this battered up old face. It makes you beautiful. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's Breakfast. Hey, you know when you sign documents and stuff nowadays, and it sort of came into play while we were all in lockdown. Things had to be signed, didn't they? Contracts had to be signed, agreements had to be signed. So now they do them digitally. Instead of printing them out,

then you sign with your pen and your physical hand. I think I've explained that beautifully. It's actually a lot, well, in theory it's a lot easier because connecting to the work printer, I've never had access. He always gets Juliet to print stuff. Don't worry, Juliet's printing it out.

It gives me a small taste of what it would feel like to have someone working for me. You're not. It's like, hey, Juliet, can you print this out for me? I just feel like a business person me. You're not. It's like, hey, Julia, can you print this out for me? I just feel like a business person. I'm your assistant.

Yeah. Julia's like, hold on, let me just check my contract here. Printing duties. No, no. Take a note. Take a note of this. Here it is, Julia. Can you print this conversation out for us, Julia?

So now you do it digitally. And sometimes in this role, you know, when you're doing interviews and stuff, movies or albums, they get you to sign a NDA, a non-disclosure agreement. Ben does it with a lot of his liaisons as well, doesn't he? Gets them to sign it off. Just so they don't, you know, loose lips. Those things, those ships, mate. But anyway, so now there's this thing where you've got a digital contract and you can click things, blah, blah, blah.

I've read terms again. You don't read it, but you just click things blah blah blah i've read terms again you don't read it but you just click i've read everything and then you get to the signing stage which is quite interesting now because there's a function where you can sign with your mouse and i put it in the same category as all the voice activated stuff we're 85 there we haven't quite nailed it but not once have i nailed my signature with a mouse. A hundred percent of the time, I've never,

nothing even resembling my signature with a mouse. Well, sometimes I've noticed, I don't know if you've noticed this as well, when you do it on the, cause you have a track pad and you sort of follow along with the mouse. Sometimes you can't take it off. So you have to,

you have to basically merge all the letters together. Cause if you stop, if you stop doing it. So if I go to B and then I stop to go E, it'll just wipe the first thing. Really? I had one like that the other day, so I had to keep going. You loop all your words together. I had to loop up together.

Oh, my goodness. It feels like you're writing for the first time with the wrong hand. Yeah. And that's what it ends up. All these important documents, and they actually do get Juliet to print them out. Well, look, it's terrible. But that's the thing, too.

I'm wondering if you ever held to account, you know, if my loose lips do sink the ships when I talk about the latest Croods movie before release, I can go, well, that's not my signature. Yeah. Have a look at my signature. Nothing like it. How many different signatures have you had over the years? You kind of change it up a little bit, don't you?

I do. As a kid, for some reason, that was one thing I was, I try, oh, this will be my signature, this will be my signature. Poppy,

my daughter's at the moment, she's doing a whole range, she's got a big mood board of signatures. Yeah, I don't know why, I mean, I guess you're going to have

to sign stuff when you're older, but it's not like people come up and go, can I get your autograph? You're like, yeah, okay, here you go.

Okay, get a pen, let's find out now who's got the coolest signature. Juliet, you write yours. Oh my God, where's paper?

Oh, paper, jeez, that's the next one, here Juliet, you write yours. Oh, my God. Where's paper? Oh, paper. Jeez, that's the next one. Here, mate. Here. Ben, boy, you've got a good signature. He goes two big Bs, don't you? Yeah, I just go two big Bs, really. I've learned Ben's signature if I ever need to forge documents for any loans or anything.

Yeah, it's not where. Look at yours, Juliet. She's joined all the letters together. What does it look like, Ben? It's sort of like. It's a long J. It looks like a seismograph. Yes, it does. Does it look like there's an earthquake?

Oh, yeah. Yes, it does, actually. That's a very good way of describing it. Okay, here's Ben Boyce. Big Bs. Couple of big Bs. Double Bs. There you go.

Yeah. Oh, that's cool. That is really cool. I get to the Y and the C and the E in Boyce, and it kind of just loses it. It's like I've got a long tail. Oh, yeah. John O'Brien has underlined it as well.

Oh, yeah. Love it. Emphasize his name. I'm here. Yeah, guys. Here I am. Look at me. Look at me.

It's all about me. I'll put this online so you can forge our signatures. Okay, out of there. Ben, I'm going to say. Ben is the coolest. Ben is the coolest. Yeah. Oh, damn.

I wanted mine to be the coolest. Mine's the ugliest. Yeah. Jono's, yours is quite cool. How long was it workshopping that one? Oh, no, it's more through laziness now. Yeah, it started with a whole lot more loops and stuff, and now it's like, oh, yeah, put some beads in there.

You do check out of it, don't you? Jono and Ben, the hits. What are we, Tuesday morning last week? You've got to lose track this time of year don't you you're not in the holiday mode yet you can't forget

the days just yet don't you love that's when you're deep inside your holiday isn't it when you start forgetting what day it is

and you have to try and figure it out sometimes you give up figuring it out that's always a great moment Kelda I'm Rachel Jackson-Lees

and this is The F*** News Alright if there's a man in Germany who taxidermied his grandmother or a lady in Algeria who swallowed a dinner plate, well, it'll be featured in this part of the programme. How does this work, Ju? So I've found some news stories that I think that you will like, but are a little bit off centre, and we've beeped out a word.

You have to guess what the full headline is. And your first news story? World's most expensive **** goes on sale for nearly $60,000. Sheesh, $60,000. I'm going to go Auckland Parking Building Ticket. That's probably what happens if you park for more than a week.

David Seymour, have a $3,000 one from Parking in Auckland. That's a great answer because you were a bit upset the parking wardens are back in force now, Ben. Although that didn't seem to... Just came back for one day, one day only, did they? Yeah, so far, but we'll see how that goes.

I'm going to go, world's most expensive bottle of hand sanitizer goes on sale for nearly $60,000. World's most expensive Christmas jumper goes on sale for nearly $60,000. It's a beautiful Christmas jumper goes on sale for nearly $60,000. It's a beautiful Christmas jumper. So an artist created it and invested his whole life savings into making it. It's a shocking investment. But,

here we go Jono, the money from the sale is going towards the NHS, so the UK healthcare system. Oh no. Start mocking me. Always wait until the full story has been broadcast. Oh, that's a great investment.

It's like it's got it's been bejeweled sorry. Bejizzled. It's got a bejeweled reindeer, diamond encrusted stars, 24 carat gold threading and all surrounded by Swarovski crystals. Now, it sold for $60,000. It sounds like it probably cost a lot more than $60,000 to manufacture.

It actually cost about $13,000 to make. Always wait for the full story, Jono. Yeah. But it is probably the prettiest Christmas jumper you will ever see. Oh, good on them. They've made an ugly one pretty. The next news story. Dogs can recognize around 89...

Uh, 89 smells from other dogs behind, is probably what I'm going for, you know? I know dogs can recognise around 89 different varieties of human crotches. Dogs can recognise around 89 words and phrases. So there was a study done with 165 dogs on the amount of words that they consistently recognize and react to, and nearly half of them were words like sit or stay. Others were treat, breakfast, dinner, walkies, and things to chase like ball or squirrel.

I always wondered, do you think the dogs know their name? Do you think Bo, your dog, knows his name's Bo? Well, yeah. Or do you think he just associates that noise with getting his attention? Yeah, I kind of wonder that as well. And also because Bo sounds a lot like no. And I'm like, why do we say no? And you're like, no.

Or Bo. It confuses him. What are you trying to say? Does he understand the difference between no and Bo? Or does he sometimes get a little bit confused? He doesn't understand anything. It's a nightmare of a dog. But he's so cute.

Yeah, no, he's adorable. Don't get me wrong. But listen, he's just kind of just meandering his way through life, isn't he? Knocking things over as he goes. One thing he does understand, though, is sunscreen. When I put sunscreen on in the afternoon, it means walk. It's amazing how he's just like straight up. That was like my dog.

When Mum would get her raincoat to go out for a walk. He'd be able to recognise the buckle sounding of the belt when she got the coat out of the cupboard and he'd just be like, oh my god, it's a walk time. Well they don't have much else going on in their day so you know, those little things are

exciting, aren't they? A really nice quote, sorry to literally dog leg this one here for a second, but someone said the other day that I was a dog. Someone put a really nice quote, sorry to literally dog-leg this one here for a second, but someone said the other day that it was a quote saying, dogs are a part of your life, but for them, you are their life. Oh my God. You're everything. You're their world.

That makes me want to cry. That's true. You know, that is your world. Oh my God, literally I'm tearing up right now. That's so cute. Yeah, that's a very lovely quote. They're part of your world, but for them, they are your world. I honestly think dogs are like the greatest gift to humans.

We do not deserve them. Anyway, I'm getting emotional. Business papers graded by *** in 1995 auction off for over $7,000. Obviously a successful business person graded these papers. I'm going to go Willy Wonka. He ran a chocolate factory. There was some dodgy stuff going on, but it ran well, didn't it? He ran a successful chocolate empire.

Some kids went missing out. It doesn't matter. Stuff happens. Yeah, whatever. I'm going to go business papers graded by that fun guy with the fake tan and wild hair from The Apprentice in 1995. Sell off for seven grand. Business papers graded by Elon Musk in 1995. Auction off for over $7,000.

Wow. He's Time Magazine's Person of the Year, too, just been announced, Elon Musk. Yeah. So he used to be a teacher's assistant at a business school. And I was looking at these papers. There have been photos of them. And I was expecting scribbles everywhere. But he literally did initial the papers.

He did market. He did grade it. But the only thing he wrote on it, he only made one comment, like one annotation, and that sold for $7,000. So some person must really like Elon Musk. It feels like, so he was teaching in 1995. He feels like a lot younger than that. Yeah.

Elon Musk. Yeah, you're right. How old is he? Doesn't he look quite a youthful looking? Yeah. I'd say he's in maybe his 40s. Oh, he's 50. Oh, yeah.

He is 50 years old. Buzzy. And that is the news and bits for you this morning. Very interesting. Thank you, Producer Juliet. Two dads just trying to fill some airtime. Some might say it's pointless, but the main thing is it fills in some airtime for us. That is the main thing.

Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. That is Kings' Don't Worry About. He's got a new single out right now. It's called Young Forever. It's a really, really cool track. Have a listen. There's a video out as well, and he joins us right now. Kings, how are you, buddy?

Hey, hey, hey. Good to see you. We haven't spoken to you in a long while, Kings. Have you been well? Been well. I'm trying to stay young forever. Just say, aren't we all? Aren't we all?

But then one day you end up on the hits. Now, of course, Kings, actually, you blew up a few years ago with the big song, Don't Worry About It, and you actually kind of referenced that. Run free, boy, run free. No, just playing this young me yeah i think five years ago that that i don't worry about it my original first single came out so yeah it's been a while since i've touched on it now kings last time we spoke to you you were producing and making music out of uh the marae that your grandfather built yes are you still doing that uh as covid permits yes as long as I'm allowed to go down there, yep. Well, because imagine COVID being a musician,

trying to book gigs. It would have been a really tough sort of year, year and a half, right? Yeah, man. So this song actually kind of touches on that. There's this scene in the video where it shows me performing and then it kind of cuts to me in my room and kind of how I'm trying to live from performing on the road to living in my room really. Now I was reading about you, you got your start, you've been playing music since you were a child

but you were actually making like music for commercials and things but doing it just not in New Zealand but internationally. Oh some research. Someone's been diving deep into Kings. Did you write music for ads and things? Yeah, a lot of ads I used to do like Thailand was a place I did a bunch of like KFC commercials

And things Just like little side jobs Little 30 second jingles Well did you do a Thailand KFC jingle? Yeah, yeah, yeah I've done one of them for a KFC I've done some for Lux Soap Yeah, well you're a very good producer.

Did you know, you might not know this, but Ben, I've mentioned it many times. He wrote the Novus show us your crack jingle. What? It was Ben. It was music as such,

cause that, that existed, but just the, uh, the, the dumb show us your crack. Oh, Novus.

Hey, I don't, Hey, Hey, that's not dumb. That's dope. Yeah. In the world of commercials, that's the holy grail, baby.

That's the holy grail. I had four words that as soon as you said it, I was like, Joe, is that right? Oh, Novus. He's the guy that goes. Oh, Novus, right at the end of that one. Oh, yeah. It blew my mind.

You finally got respect, Ben. Yeah, respect to the music industry. Something else you did last year, which I thought was pretty cool, we love watching you on, was the Masked Singer. How was that experience? Oh, man, that was a very hot suit. It was hot as hell. Do they take quite extreme measures to keep everyone's identity hidden?

I think the only person who knew me was the lady putting on my suit. And you have lots of people when the show's going on messaging you going, is that you? Is that you? Does that happen? Oh, yeah. Yeah. By the second song, I had to kind of like block a bunch of people

because they're just like, I know what you just said. We were saying it to each other. We're like, it's definitely Kings. We know it. Yeah. Yeah, the clues are pretty, like, I thought people would pick on the clues. Yeah, like, he doesn't worry about things. I was like, oh, come on.

There's Kings catch his new single now. Scrolling through your feed. With the zero journalism credentials, he's got a semi-coherent functioning mouth, and that's good enough for us to deliver your news. Ben Boyce with scrolling. No, yesterday the government announced how the traffic light system is going to be running for the next, well, basically the next month over summer. And it seems all regions are going to, well, all regions in the red, well, except for Northland, will basically go to orange.

December the 30th. What does orange mean? Well, that's what I said. I was like, oh, we get to go to orange. And then I'm like, what are these again? What does this mean? I think it's pretty much. I think it's oh, we get to go to Orange. And then I'm like, what are these again? What does this mean? I think it's pretty much like, no, no. I think you can have over

100 people and stuff like that. Yeah, no, I mean, yeah, festivals can go ahead in Orange, so you can have as many people as you like. But unfortunately for things like Northern Base, that was meant to start before that date in the lead up to New Year's, so it looks like they're going to have to postpone as well. I mean, I shouldn't be confused what Orange is. I should just do some basic research.

I'm sure it's all laid out. Even a pamphlet was sent to our house. Yeah, you're right. So I should have just read the pamphlet, I shouldn't be confused what orange is. I should just do some basic research. I'm sure it's all laid out. Even a pamphlet was sent to our house. So I should have just read the pamphlet. I shouldn't be... I don't know why you put me on the spot. You're like, what does that mean? No, no, I shouldn't be confused about that. But I think it is tougher for the non-vaxxed orange, level orange. Yes, because it's all based on vaccine certificates, I think.

Yeah. Vaccine passports. A regional boundary, of course, the Auckland border as of midnight tonight. No more. So people can go in course, the Auckland border, as of midnight tonight, no more, so people can go in and out of Auckland and to other regions. Oh, the other regions will be looking forward to that, welcoming everyone with open arms. So it seems like, yeah, Northland's the one that's going to stay in red.

Seems like the only area that's going to stay in red after, well, pretty much from New Year's onwards. Whereas, interesting, they've been saying, oh, Gisborne, which hasn't got the highest vaccination rate. No, but it does host someone's wedding. Oh, yeah. Is Gisborne orange? We'll be going to orange. That's a good way

to avoid not having to kill people off your list. 100 plus. Has the journalist brought that up? I imagine they would have. I didn't see the press conference. You kind of forget about this. You kind of check out of them, don't you? You get fatigued with all these sort of announcements and stuff. And then you're right.

I was like, oh, we're going to Orange on December 30th. And then I'm like, what does that mean again, you know? Well, if any of the anti-vaxxed are listening now, or the non-vaccinated, don't worry. If you just slip me a fiver, I'll go around and jab myself with the vaccine. I can do 10 a day. I can get you a certificate.

We'll get you out there. Someone did that the other day, didn't they? We talked about this yesterday. They're investigating it. The police are like, well, it's not our thing to investigate. It's a health issue. Well, yeah, it's definitely a health issue. What are the police going to charge you with?

Well done on being over-vaccinated. I guess you're forging other people's identification. But we do, we know a couple of people who are not vaccinated. And the lengths that these people, like life is just going to be incredibly difficult for the non-vaccinated. If you don't have a certificate, a vaccine certificate, the government's making it almost impossible for you to go about your day. Well, yeah. I mean, you can go to shops, supermarkets and stuff.

Retail supermarkets. Essential things like that. But you're right. You want to go dance away at a club over 100 people? Forget about it, mate. You don't want to do that anyway, do you? No, maybe. Can I get unvaccinated? Can I just suck the vaccine out so I don't have to go to the clubs and dance?

You want to come into work each day where you're like, oh, not really. Do I still get paid? No, I don't think so. And that is scrolling to your feed. Hey, don't forget after seven on the show, we have free hams to give away. Oh, and we've got, you know,

yesterday I was trying to get everyone to sing I Wanna Hold Your Ham. No one would do it. No one would do it. Well, we've got a produced version of it. You've literally paid someone to do it. I don't know who's going to end up paying this, but you've made this happen.

I wanna hold your ham. Dear God. I wanna hold your hand. Dear God. I wanna hold your hand. I wanna hold your hand. Did you seriously go out of your way to get that made? Yeah, I got it made. Well, out of my way. I sent an email. Not completely out of my way. We could have just played

the original, actually. It doesn't sound too much different. So if you wanna win a free ham, every caller wins a ham. That's between 7 and nine on the hits. Rated M for mildly amusing. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast. Okay, we're giving away hams. Every day this week we've got hams up for grabs.

And every person that we talk to on air wins a free ham. Yeah, thanks to Farmland Foods, quality bacon, sliced meats and Christmas hams. Oh, 800 the hits if you want a free ham. We'll give away a couple now. We just realised that we're going to create a bit of a headache for ourselves if we don't start hocking off hams now, Ben. Because, you know, we've got over a dozen to give away a day. And we don't want this to become

a giant burden where on Friday we've got 920 hams to get rid of. So we'll kick it off with, should we go to Evelyn in the Coromandel? Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast, Evelyn. You want a ham? I'm so happy. Okay, well post us a thank you video on InstaHam because you've won a ham.

Let's play a song. I want to hold your ham. I want to hold your ham. I want to hold your ham. And you are, Evelyn. You are. Well done. That is awesome. Thank you.

Enjoy that Christmas ham. Plenty more hams to give away after 7 o'clock this morning. Spy. The What's Up Spy.co.nz Alright, she's about to take annual leave which will mean the celebrities can breathe a sigh of relief for just a few weeks.

But Juliet, until then, let's mow in on some. So, just quickly, the Golden Globes nominations have come out despite there's a bit of ongoing controversy there about sort of

lack of diversity over the last couple of years but New Zealand director Jane Campion's Power of the Dog was nominated for seven and she was one of the most nominated films

well that was the one of the most nominated films that's the one with old mate Benedict Cumberbatch filmed in New Zealand right yeah filmed in New Zealand I haven't seen The Power of the most nominated films. That's the one with old mate Benedict Cumberbatch. Filmed in New Zealand, right? Yeah, filmed in New Zealand.

I haven't seen The Power of the Dog. It's on Netflix, so I say yeah, yeah. Great, cool. So you can go check it out there. Okay, awesome. Jane Campion did The Piano too, didn't she? Very acclaimed director. Why do we not, I don't feel like we don't hear enough about Jane Campion.

Like I've only really, or is that just me? Maybe that's just me. Maybe I'm not aware. I think she has a long time between drinks situation doesn't she? She's not like churning

out three movies a year or anything. You know hocking off products on Instagram and things like that. She's very accomplished. She's one of the world's best directors.

Film director not an influencer. She's not giving away hams on Instagram. No. No she's awesome. And one of the most nominated TV series was Succession.

I haven't seen that, but apparently it is meant to be very, very good. So these will be awarded in January 2022, but it may not air on TV because of the controversy surrounding it. So it may happen, but just might not be on tally for us to see. But the ratings have been dwindling for those awards ceremonies for the last three or four years, haven't they? Yeah, they have. I think they had an all-time low for the Academy Awards this year.

This year, I think. You're right, yeah. I think it's just the fact that everyone can probably just see who wins online later. You know what I mean? Like, do you need to sit and see the highlights and stuff? Oh, you're right, yeah. The audience isn't always with linear television, Julia.

You're right. Sometimes they're getting their content online nowadays. Oh, no. Got to be up with the play. And I blame your generation. Yeah, I know. We have done some damage, haven't we? And Kim Kardashian, there are a couple of stories surrounding her that are quite interesting

today. She revealed that during the month of December, she has hired a famous Grammy Award winning pianist to wake up her kids with Christmas music every morning. So he comes in and plays on their sort of beautiful white piano next to their snowy Christmas tree to wake up her four children to get them into the Christmas spirit. Only the Kardashians will do that. What time is this poor pianist having to get up? I actually don't know.

But what a way to wake up. I mean, with a live piano. Pretty incredible. Pretty good. Wow. Shut up! I know. Seems like a huge waste of money.

I know. I mean, they have a lot though. I know. There's alarm clocks. You can even play music off your phone. Yeah, Apple Music, Spotify. You get the same result. You just don't have to accommodate some weird pianist who's sitting in your lounge.

You probably have to give them a coffee and breakfast. Yeah, true. But I mean, they can afford that. So, I mean, go hard. Good on them. Good on them. Get into the festive spirit. I started doing it at Ben's house. He was like, please can you remove. So, I mean, go hard. Good on them. Get into the festive spirit. I started doing it at Ben's house.

He was like, please can you remove it? I did not ask for this. And Kim Kardashian has also finally passed her baby bar exam for her law degree. So this is the one where she unfortunately failed three times in two years. But she didn't give up. She was very persistent on passing it. She did post a very long Instagram saying how happy she was very um persistent on on passing it she did post a very long instagram saying how like happy she was that she finally passed it she did have covid on the

third try that she passed that she failed the um that test with 104 degree fahrenheit fahrenheit fever and her dad was a lawyer too so yeah he's no longer with us but he would be enormously proud i imagine yeah she did say that in the post. She knows her dad would be so proud and also so shocked that she chose this as a path. But she's keeping on going. She says, bottom line is, don't ever give up when you are holding on by a thread because it feels so good when you do achieve it. Oh, good on her too.

Awesome. You know, she should have been 40 years old, I imagine. I know. To become a lawyer. It's incredible. It's epic. Good on her, I say. Yeah, what are you doing at 40 years old, man?

What are you doing? You becoming a lawyer? I'm not even hiring. It's epic. Good honour, I say. Yeah, what are you doing at 40 years old, man? What are you doing? Are you becoming a lawyer? I'm not even hiring piano people to come to play. New Zealand's breakfast. This is Jono and Ben on The Hits. It is The Hits with Jono and Ben. Disc on 7 o'clock at the Auckland borders. Open back up tonight.

And all of New Zealand except Northland will move to orange in the traffic light system on December 30th. So, you know, it's going to be pretty much red for Christmas for a lot of New Zealand except Northland will move to orange in the traffic light system on December 30th. So, you know, it's going to be pretty much red for Christmas for a lot of New Zealand. Yeah, go everywhere. Go everywhere. Although Dr. Susie Wiles, she's like, don't go anywhere. Don't go anywhere. Yeah. And what's Michael Baker saying, epidemiologist?

I just read before. He was saying he's basically been cautious. That's their thing. That is their thing. You know, he was even saying if you are going, people should even get tested, even if you have got vaccine passes as well.

That's his opinion. He thinks you should be tested for COVID as well, just so you're 100% sure that you're not carrying anything when you go. We had to do that for something we were filming

the other day. Had to get unnecessarily tested, but it just to prove that you didn't have anything. And it does bamboozle the testers I found at the testing station. They're like, well, have you got any symptoms? No.

Are you experiencing runny nose? No. You're like, I just love to stick something in my nose. Yeah, it's one of my hobbies and interests. Can I loop back around and do another one straight away? The joy of that rod up my nose. Oh, it's so good. If I could do it every day, I would.

It's really quite an uncomfortable sort of thing. But not, but it is. At the same time, you're just a little bit like, okay. And it's the longest five seconds when they're like, and five. I've still never had one. Oh, so they ram it right up. And then it's got to stay up.

I don't know why, but it's got to stay up there for five seconds. Just for their own amusement. Do they twist it round as well? Yeah, they're turning it around and five four three and you're going hurry up hurry up your eyes start crying and they're like how was that you're like yeah good good you've got tears running down your face oh good you know done it before each time it's great yeah no fun hey next on the show we've got

some hams up for grabs thanks to Farmland Foods. We've got free hams, and we want to give those away with a little, well, basically we want to get the attention of Michael Bublé. So we'll explain a bit more next and how you can win hams and how we can get the attention of Michael Bublé this week. It is the hits. You got Jono and Ben. Jono and Ben.

New Zealand's breakfast. Christmas, of course, 11 days away and we've got Christmas hams up for grabs thanks to Farmland Foods if you want to win a Christmas ham right now 0800 the hits, but we want a little bit of help yeah we do, because this Friday

Thursday Friday I'm going to make Ben Boyce listen to Michael Bublé it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas on repeat in headphones until we get you it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. On repeat, in headphones. Until we get you your much-desired Michael Bublé interview. People did rounds of interviews with Bublé three weeks ago. You were left out, and you felt like you should have been gifted an interview.

And so I'm going to try and get you this interview by getting Bublé's attention. So, yes, I'm going to be listening to this non-stop. From Thursday, we've done this before with Ryan Reynolds who watched the movie trailer for Deadpool 2 on repeat and it took about 30 hours for him to eventually video call. So it'll be interesting to see how it goes because last night we put some things up on social media. We're like, hey, tag Bublé and let's get a bit of a head start. But people I think are torn between wanting to help me

and then there's the other camp that think it's quite funny the longer I go. Well, you know, the market's heard Bublé interviews. You know, they're not crying out for a Bublé interview. They've heard them on other shows. So they're probably like, well, let's see how long this guy can last. Yeah, so not only am I helping out Ben, but I'm also helping out Bublé. He's going to get a wild boost in his streams of his song.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas from Benjamin Boyce. I'll just be listening to it with my headphones. We'll be trying to do the show as normal as well, just so you know. It won't be non-stop Bublé for everyone, but it'll be just me. Now, I had a googly of the Bublé, and did you know you and him share something? What's that? A disdain, a dislike for beetroot. Oh, I said I've had a beetroot, yeah. And did you know anyone and him share something? What's that? A disdain, a dislike for beetroot. Oh, he's not a fan of beetroot.

And did you know you've unstated Emily Blunt? I did actually know this. Yeah, they sang on a song together. Yeah. Him and Emily Blunt. Yeah, he's a big, huge ice hockey fan as well, I guess being from, you know, Canada. They love their ice hockey.

That's originally what he wanted to do, was be an ice hockey player. And then he found out he had an amazing voice. Put that to the side. Settle for second best singing career. A middling singing career, which has earned him billions and billions of dollars. So this

is what we want to do this morning, 0800 The Hits. Who has listened to the most amount of Christmas music this year? Now, you might be struggling to beat Ben Boyce by the end of this. Who knows if Buble will even answer this call and end the madness. You could be listening to Buble this time next year. Well, yeah.

This could be your 2022. Just in a Buble hole. Don't worry about Omicron. Just listening to Buble over and over again. But if you work in retail, maybe a restaurant, cafe, whatever, who has listened to the most amount of Christmas music this year? Because I went to Kmart.

Day to day, you know? Yeah. What day? Who's listening to Christmas music in March? Yeah. Or even, you know, people that are going in and go, well, I know today I'm going into work at whatever, 8 o'clock till 6, and I'm going to listen to nothing but Christmas music because, you know, we're getting into the Christmas spirit.

So 800 of the hits would be quite handy if anyone from the North Pole is listening now. You can chime through. Text 2 from the pole, 4487. Most amount of Christmas music that's being listened to has Christmas vomited inside your ears. Then you need to call us right now, and we'll give away free ham. Thanks to Farmland Hams. Yeah, free ham up for grabs on 0800THEHITS. We'll do that next.

The Hits Breakfast with'll do that next. The Hits Breakfast with Jono and Ben. This Thursday from 8 o'clock I'm going to be listening to nothing but Michael Bublé on repeat until he hopefully

will FaceTime us. You're going to listen to this song. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas and it's beginning to look a lot like Ben Boyce could

finally get this conversation with Michael Bublé. We'll see. He's a busy guy though. This is a busy period for Michael Bublé. We'll see. He's a busy guy, though. This is a busy period for Michael Bublé. He's off on Jimmy Fallon. He's doing concerts in New York, Christmas specials. He's done his media interviews for New Zealand.

Is he going to pop back into us? That is a fair point. Let's be honest, it's not an important market in terms of the worldwide landscape, New Zealand, is it? We get left off the world map yeah so uh you know he doesn't necessarily need to come back to new zealand you're right ben but i hold full faith that if you listen to michael buble on repeat the boob she'll be calling you let's hope so so we want to know this morning on 0800 the hits who has listened to the most

amount of christmas music because it might be ben boyce by the end of this week uh non-stop buble but we'll go to the phones. We'll kick it off with Cherie in Auckland. What do you do, Cherie? I answer emails for an insurance company. You answer emails for an insurance company, and you've been bombarded with Christmas music, or you've been putting this up on yourself?

I've been doing it myself. How much have you listened to? How long have you been listening to Christmas music for? Since the 28th of November, when I put up the tree. Oh, you've had a long run in, haven't you? Every day. Pretty much, yeah. I've got two little girls, so yeah, it's cool that they can, yeah,

feel the magic of Christmas with the cool music songs we play. There are some great Christmas tracks, but then, you know, I imagine on repeat, maybe does it start to tire? Obviously not. You're doing it every day. Yeah, I've got quite a collection of CDs, so we just changed the CDs, and my daughter, who's 12, really likes that Christmas one from,

oh God, I'm probably going to say their name wrong, you know, the three opera singers? Oh, yeah, Solo Mio, yeah. Yes, that's it. Yeah, right, so what, you travel back to the late 90s, check your CDs on? Yeah, I love it. Have a sit around, have a sit. Yeah, right. So what, you travel back to the late 90s, check your CDs on? Yeah, I love it. Have a sit around? Have a sit around well, Cherie.

I like the way you glaze it. No piggity. I want a baguette, a baguette. What's this? I like the way you glaze it. No piggity. Oh, no piggity, I get it. No piggity.

We are giving away hams this week to Farmland Foods, Farmland Hams, and no piggity. Cherie, you have got yourself one, okay? Thank you so much. I had such a crap day yesterday, so this is just really, really great. Thank you. Enjoy that. Enjoy that ham and have a great Christmas, all right?

Thank you. You guys too. Thank you for listening to the show. See what ham does? Ham changes lives. It does. It ends some lives, but it changes others. That's so sad.

Jessica, let's get you on from Tauranga. Morena, have you listened to more Christmas music than Ben Boyce is going to listen to this week? Probably. My job started on the 1st of November playing Christmas carols. Oh, jeez, you're six weeks deep. Yeah, yeah, I work at an early childhood centre, so yeah, it started quite early.

Is it just on all day? Yeah, well, pretty much all day, yeah. I love that. We're early childhood, guys. We've got to go things early. Everything early. Christmas music early. Kids early.

That is wild. So, I mean, collectively, how many hours of Christmas music do you think you've listened to this year? I probably work like eight hours. Nearly like, probably like, I do cut it off when I go to sleep, so maybe about six, five, six hours it can be paid for. Six hours a day, that's impressive.

What's the one song that you're like, oh, not again? I like Mariah Carey, Low Up for Christmas. That hasn't worn yet, that isn't tired out yet? No, I just blasted it while you had it on the radio. Oh, good on you. Well, Jessica. Because it's Christmas Day and the oven's cooking my slow ham.

Slow ham. You've got a ham for Christmas Day thanks to Farmland Foods, all right? Hey, Jono. Yeah. I want to hold your ham. Oh Yeah! I wanna hold your ham! Oh! I wanna hold your ham!

Oh, we finally got someone to sing it, because Jono went to the trouble of getting someone to actually sing I wanna hold your ham. I wanna hold your ham! I wanna hold your ham! You know, there's nothing more frightening for a radio announcer when someone singles you out and goes,

Hey, Jono, line with the earring. And you're like, Oh, God, what is this call going to be? I heard you yesterday trying to get Mr. Singer, and I was like, I'll sing it if I get on. You can see the cut on Jono's eyes just for a second. Oh, dear God. Let's go to Sharon. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast.

You've listened to the most amount of Christmas music, you reckon, Sharon? Yeah, I've been listening for a long time. So I work in a shopping centre, obviously, and obviously being on radio. And yeah, so it's just on repeat all day, every day at the shopping centre. Does it play over the loudspeaker? What's that, sorry? It plays over the loudspeaker over the whole mall. It does, actually, and it gives you a real festive season about it. When did they kick it?

I feel like they kick it off early November, don't they, the shopping malls? Yeah, they did. As soon as we got to, we still obviously opened when it opened from the level, and then, yeah, it's just been going since then, but not to mention the early Christmas trees that were put up as well.

Oh, she's gone. Two months of Christmas music for Sharon. Well, Sharon! Biggie, biggie, big piggy, can't you see? I want to win you just for free. Piggy, piggy, piggy, can't you see? Well done. You got a free ham thanks to Family and Foods, okay? Thank you.

We've got plenty more ham up for grabs very shortly, so stay listening. 0800 The Hits is our number. It is Jono and Ben. Warning, this show contains traces of jono and ben the hits with jono and ben for breakfast the quote of the year is out and they're looking at new zealand's best quotes it's a university study massey university do uh each year and we sent it around this morning producer b hump's found it find the article sent it around on a

whatsapp very early too it's like four 345 or something it's quite quite a bit of a... Bing, bing! And then I was like, oh, it's not just us on this WhatsApp group. There's people that, you know, they turn up to work at nine and are on this WhatsApp group. This is a... Yeah, true.

Hell of a rude awakening. I was like, oh, that's great, that's some great little, you know, sense of the day, you know, news to talk about. I always think of the wider community on that WhatsApp group because we're bouncing around

messages at ungodly hours, that's us four. You know, boss Todd, he's not up till, you know, 8 o'clock. Nah, true. So anyway, they're looking for New Zealand's best quote of the year. It was sent through by Behub, so I was like, this is great. But I didn't realise until I was driving

into work, and it was talked about on Newstalk ZB, that we're part of it. We're part of one of the nominees for the top 10 quotes of the year for New Zealand, which is pretty incredible. But we got a shout-out on Newstalk ZB. Well, kind of. Jono and Ben almost got a shout-out.

Have a listen. You can also find Jon and Benno from the hits, their farewell song for Judith Collins. That's in the top 10. Raise an eyebrow to show your glad... is the gag in that one. Yeah, I do love Jon and Benno. Every parent I've ever come across always refers to us as beno and john or john and beno and i can see where the

confusion like you know it's an easy mistake to make if you're not paying attention like i kind of know them is it is it beno and old you know i can see why you can see that i don't take any offense to it i see yeah at least we're getting some form of a shout out. Yeah. So some of the best quotes of 2021. You'd think Chris Hipkins, you know. Spread your legs. Got to.

Have a listen to this. It is a challenge in higher density areas for people to get outside and to spread their legs. I mean, we've all got to spread our legs for 2021. I mean, it's just been, you know, I won't follow through. But you know what it's been doing to us. Yeah. Yeah, so you would think that would be right up there with one of the winners.

Surely, home and host. Yeah. I feel like the quote that we've been loved, it's a filler content. Yeah, because ours was from a parody song we wrote for Judith Collins. So here was a little bit of the start of the song. Hey, Judith, it's not that bad. And this was the quote here. So here was a little bit of the start of the song.

And this was the quote here. So raise an eyebrow to show you're glad was up there for quite a bit because that was after something that she said. Do you think it's one of those instances where whoever was compiling the list couldn't remember anything back before October. Maybe. Because when you do your end of year wrap ups, it's hard to think the Olympics were on this year. You forget about that. Yeah.

Was that this year? Yeah. You kind of just focus on the last couple of months. Yeah, you're right. There's a lot of stuff that kind of went on. Jacinda Ardern, of course, for her Facebook Live where Niamh sort of interrupted. She's up there for quite a bit of the year. Safe, but you'll see that great assertion for business. You're meant to be in bed, darling. It's bedtime, darling. Pop back to bed. I'll come and see you

in a second. I'll come and see you in a minute, okay? Sorry, everybody. Yeah, Nanny will take you down to bed. Thanks, Nana. Well Well that was a bedtime fail, wasn't it? That's actually her talking to Barry Sofa At the 1pm press conference Time for bed Barry Bed to be in bed darling And lastly one of our favourite quotes of the year This toddler in Christchurch

When a goat just turned up in their suburban backyard There's a f***ing goat outside It's just a goat No There's a f***ing goat outside. It's just a goat. No, it's a f***ing goat. So good. It's very good. Now, neither of us have been to university, and this is the only time we'll ever be associated with university.

So we thank Massey University on behalf of that. You can vote for your favourite quote of the year, but go on, give us a cheeky vote. It's a pity vote. Yeah, go on, give us a pity vote. Listening to all those other quotes, I'm like, they are far better. They're good quotes. Mate, we didn't go with the other five or whatever happening in there, you know?

So, you know, give us a vote. You can go to Massey University. It is the hits. Jono and Ben. Jono and Ben. New Zealand's breakfast is brought to you by Resene. New Zealand's most trusted paint. Kiwi made since 1946.

Five words for 5K on the hits. You're only five words away from a massive payday. We give you five words, you say the first things that pop into your head after those five words. If all five match up with our five, you win $5,000. It's a game changer, $5,000, isn't it? It's like turning up ready to play tennis but ending up chokeholding someone in the UFC octagon. That's how much the game would change with $5,000. And, Tracy, we could be changing up your game this morning in Wellington.

That sounds great. Now, you work at the Australian High Commission. Yes. Oh, wow. G'day, Cobber, as they do say across the dish. What do you do at the Australian High Commission, Tracy? I'm an executive assistant. Oh, my gosh.

Big dog. Big dog. Big player. Do you go, where is it based? Near Parliament? Where is this thing? Yes, it is. It's not far from Parliament.

It's on, yeah, literally across the road from Parliament. I feel like you're too good for this radio show. Yeah, far too good. Yeah, but anyway, we won't linger on that Maybe she was meant to call RNZ or something this morning Yeah, I think so Tracey, who do you want to send to the soundproof booth? Ben, please

Ben, you are heading in to match five words with Tracey this morning You've heard how the game's played, haven't you, Trace? Yes, I have Alrighty It's like Lotto Without having to buy the tickets. And the millions and millions of dollars. Here we go. The first

word that comes into your head, Tracey. When I say Boris. Johnson. Yeah, there's one. Nice. That he will definitely come back with. Unless he's a fan of 1990s tennis and he sees Boris Becker. Okay. Potentially. Cranberry's word number two for you, Tracy.

Cranberry juice. Sand. Sand goes to me. Beach. Sesame. Tree. Quad. Quad is in Q-U-A-D.

Yeah, quad. Bike. Oh my goodness. Did you match five? I matched five. Quad is in Q-U-A-D Yeah, quad Bike Oh my goodness Did you match five? I matched five Juliette, you should have sent Juliette and Tracy Oh my goodness You've matched five with Juliette

Will we match five with Ben? I feel like this is a really good chance Played a great game Come out of the booth, Ben Okay Tracy? Yes She's still there? charts. Played a great game. Come out of the booth, Ben. Okay. Tracy? She's still there?

I said she's played a great game. Juliet matched all five words with Tracy. I matched all five words with Tracy. Did you? No, I'm just saying that to add a bit more pressure. But one of us did and that's the main thing. Now we need to see if Ben Boyce can do it. This is what gets him out of bed every morning,

the slim chance of winning a stranger cash. Okay, oh, the pressure's on now. Played a quick game, and it was a good game. Word number one was Boris. Johnson. There we go. Cranberry. Juice.

Sand. Beach. Oh, my gosh. Sesame. Treat. Oh, no! No! There's been a careless whisper. Oh, no! No! There's been a careless whisper.

Oh, Tracy! Oh, no! High drama from the Australian High Commission. I didn't hear anything. I didn't hear anything. It was... You were about to say it, probably. Were you about to say Sesame Street?

It was one of two options I had in my head. I had Sesame Seed and Sesame Street. What were you going to go with? I don't know. I'm definitely going to lock in Street now. Can I lock in Street now? Oh, Trace, I'm so sorry. It happens, though.

It happens. It does happen. You're just like, yeah. You know what, though? You may not have got $5,000, but you have got a free ham. Yeah, you've got a ham. No piggity. That was a lot of fun.

High drama, as Jono said from the High Commission. But we really appreciate you listening to the show. You enjoy that ham, all right? What would he have said? He was going to say street. Well, a street or scene. It was my 50-50 on that one. Okay, well, let's go to the fifth word just while we're here.

Yeah, I don't know. Sesame and street. Quad was word number five. Quad bike. It was quad bike. Tracy! But I was 50-50 on that one. It was there.

It was there, but it was 50-50. Tough lesson learned. Yeah, anyway, thanks to Farmland Foods. You enjoy that free ham, Tracy, and thank you so much for listening. Thank you very50. Tough lesson learned. Yeah, anyway, thanks to Farmland Foods. You enjoy that free ham, Tracy, and thank you so much for listening. Thank you very much. Hey, have a great day. Oh, jeez.

I can't think of it. It happens. I see it happens. Christmas drama. Oh, there we go. It is the hits. You got John, I'm Ben. Spy, the WhatsApp spy.co.nz.

All right, it's time now. Poor Juliette, sorry. I was concentrating on an email. I was having a conversation with you about that as well. Juliette put the microphones on. It really interrupted our conversation. Apologies. To be honest, I was caught off guard there.

Juliette with some celebrity news. So last week we spoke about how John Legend and Chrissy Teigen agreed to get matching tattoos, but John didn't follow through, leaving Chrissy with the tattoos. So basically their daughter Luna had done some drawings on their skin, a butterfly on Chrissy and a bouquet of flowers on John. Chrissy then went on The Ellen Show to kind of explain what happened. So he got one of the flowers.

He didn't even end up getting it. Oh, no. So he took a picture of it and he was like, I'll take a picture of it and then I'll go get it done. And then I went and got mine done. He never went and got his done. No. So, but I love it, Luna, so much.

Yeah. So John left Chrissy in the lurch a little bit there, but now, after he was called out by his wife on Ellen, he's followed through with his promise and got the bouquet tattooed on him. Oh, nice. And it is a very cute-looking bouquet of flowers. Like, that is a very adorable drawing. Well, not the first time that show's bullied someone into doing something.

You love commentating when Alan's on, being like, Dance! You must dance with me! Yeah, we watch Alan on mutes, don't we, on the TV screens after the show finishes at 9 o'clock. And she's just got this poor DJ twitch. She's just dancing up a storm he's amazing he's a great dancer but he's picked up all the heavy lifting when it comes to the dancing she said she didn't want to dance anymore because every time she'd go out in public

everyone would be like dance ellen dance because that was her thing yeah right so she's faded away from dancing what i have noticed though one thing she does she she will wait to sit in her chair until when he finishes dancing but she often like will raise herself up high with their arms with their arms i was like her strength must be getting really good yeah good boy she doesn't know when he's gonna finish entirely so sometimes she's sitting there you can see that she's like wrap it up wrap it up my arms are hurting before she'll finally sit in the chair yeah Yeah, oh my gosh, like I've noticed that but never really processed it. I notice it every day.

And Avril Lavigne, you know her song, famous song Sk8er Boi. She's going to be turning this into a movie for its 20th anniversary. And I'm not sure if you've listened to the lyrics properly on Sk8er Boi, but it does tell a story about this preppy girl who doesn't, you you know there's this guy who wants to be with her and

she ditches him and then later on he's like here we go he's a superstar slamming on his guitar he sees her in the crowd and so she's turning it into a movie um for its 20th anniversary and i'm actually very excited she's how's it gonna stretch out over 90 minutes? I don't know. 90 minutes on the Skater... Oh, I can see a storyline there. Yeah. Well, I think it will

focus... She said it will focus on in high school, you've got all the different groups and cliques. You've got the skaters, you've got the preps, you've got the jocks,

and then eventually they'll fall in love and they'll break up and then later on reunite in life. So I can see it happening. Yeah, wonderful.

It's like a Romeo and Juliet story, isn't it? With skateboards and guitars. Yeah, wonderful. It's like a Romeo and Juliet story, isn't it? With skateboards and guitars. Yeah, yeah. I love that song and I actually love the story that it tells and that's what makes me

very, very excited for this. Is Avril Lavigne still with Chad Kroger from Nickelback? Were they together? Yeah, they were married. Really? Yeah. What a duo.

I'm pretty sure they're not. I'm pretty sure they've gone their separate ways. He looks back at those photographs of the wedding and he's not laughing. Makes him cry, if anything. And that is five for this hour.

For more, you can head to thehits.co.nz. Broadcasting live and mostly awake. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on The Hits. Trying to get the attention of Michael Bublé. You can go to The Hits Breakfast on Instagram and tag him in our post because I'm going to be listening to nothing but Michael Bublé, you can go to the Hits Breakfast on Instagram and tag him in our post because I'm going to be listening to nothing but Michael Bublé on Thursday in the hope that he'll video call

us. So hopefully he can get his attention beforehand. Couldn't think of a more Christmas individual than Michael Bublé. He's more Christmas than my two uncles arguing over Grandma's will at Christmas time, Michael Bublé. And we're just figuring out, we chucked it out there after 7 o'clock,

who's going to be listening to more Christmas music than Ben Boyce? Because it's going to be a non-stop rollercoaster. People in retail, long lead-ins, early October, some shops start playing Christmas music. But Julie, how long have you been listening to Christmas music this year? October. Oh, gosh. Julie.

I feel a bit embarrassed saying that. Oh, don't, Julie. Is this every day you're listening to it? Pretty much, gosh. Julie. I feel a bit embarrassed saying that. No, don't, Julie. Is this every day you're listening to it? Pretty much, yeah. I'm a Christmas girl, and, yeah, we just moved to a small town, and my eight reindeer required an operation because all their lights got broken, so I had to operate on eight reindeer and thought I'd better start early. The hound, is this Julie that we spoke to a couple of weeks ago and you had

the flatulent Santa? Yes! You got your Christmas presents out? Decorations out early? Yes, they're all out and I was working on them again last night. We had a few people through. Do people come and visit your house today? Well, we try

to encourage young kids, and yeah. Okay, can we hear, can we do, can you do us the honour for those that haven't been graced with the Flatulence Santa of what it sounds like, if you have it handy? I have something different. Oh! Do you like cats? Do I like cats?

Yeah, I'm indifferent. I like cats, I like cats. Carol, are you ready for Christmas? Dance the whole day for the holly. Fa la la la la. La la la la. It's the season

to be jolly. Fa la la la la. La la la la. Don't forget to leave the milk out. Ha ha. Fa la la la la. So that goes on

for a little bit longer. So what's the significance of a cat? What are you like? Yeah, well, you know, I've got to go something different. Yeah, yeah. So that goes on for a little bit longer. So what's the significance of a cat? Yeah, well, you know, I've got to go something different. Yeah, I mean, she's got a farting Santa. I mean, she's already, cat's the next step. Gee whiz, you must be keeping the battery operators in business.

Yes, I am. Energizer and Duracell are doing very, very well out there this year. I bet they are, I bet they are. Well, you've been listening to Christmas music since October. Yeah. And guess what? We've got something we want to play to you, Julie. I want to hold your hand. I want to hold your hand.

Well, unfortunately, I'm not going to hold your hand. I'm going to eat your hand. You can. You can. We'll be sending you a hand for Christmas, all right? That'd be great. Thanks, guys. And you all have a Merry Christmas. You can. You can. We'll be sending you a ham for Christmas, all right? That'd be great. Thanks, guys. And you all have a merry Christmas.

You too. You're a lot of fun. We love talking to you. Have a great Christmas. Thank you. That's thanks to Farmland Foods, Farmland Hams. We've got hams for everyone who makes it on air this week. New Zealand's breakfast.

It's Jono and Ben. You're on the hits, Jono and Ben. Of course, all of New Zealand except Northland is going to move to orange in the traffic light system December 30th. So that was announced yesterday. The borders open as of midnight tonight. But also making news this morning, Prince William. Now they released a family photo over the weekend,

and it's the first time ever that a Roy has had a traditional photo, I guess, a Christmas photo of the family, and he's wearing shorts. You can see all of his royal legs? Yeah. What are they? What sort of legs are they? Are they good legs, Ben?

Yeah, they're good legs. Yeah. It's good. Actually, it makes it just look like a normal family photo, which is great. It's amazing what shorts do. They really do casual up a upper situation don't they shorts yeah they do

shorts in the workplace are you a fan not you well I'm starting a little bit because it's getting a bit hotter but yeah

you can really get your standard slump now it's not the first time he's worn shorts in history Prince William yes he's worn them

like I see a photo of here walking down the road he's got shorts on well sculpted royal legs they are good they should have been out earlier they said you've never seen Prince Charles his knees he's got shorts on. Well sculpted royal legs. They are good. They should have been out earlier.

They said you've never seen Prince Charles' knees. He's never had his legs out. You're probably right. No, he's worn a kilt. But that hung just over his knees. So you have seen his shins. He's proved he's got shins. But we don't know what's he hiding.

No, we don't know what's up the top there. What's he hiding? The crown jewels or something like that. Next on the show, my daughter Sienna. Now, she's just turned 12, and she wants to get on some form of social media. Yeah, you mentioned this to me yesterday, and I want to help your household issues out, Ben Boyce. So I'm taking the bull by the horns here. You will make a very important decision in the upbringing and the raising of Ben's child.

Next. Yeah, you guys need to help me out. What did you do when you're in the same situation? What are you doing? Kids and social media. We'll get into that next. It is the hits. You got Jono and Ben. Welcome to Two Half-Assed Dads Do a Half-Assed Job.

Official title, Jono and Ben. New Zealand's Breakfast. This is Judge Jono. Nah, was that Judge Judy intro? But anyway, yeah, so this is something that I mentioned yesterday after the show. I was saying that my daughter Sienna just turned 12. She's been on the radio show many times, but she is now making a case to have TikTok. That's enough out of the defendant.

All right. For Judge Jono, I bring forward the plaintiff in this morning's case. Please welcome Sienna Boyce. Hello. The case of Boyce versus Boyce today. And the case of, is my dad being a giant dick talk, not letting me get TikTok? Sienna, you have a case that you'd like to put forward.

Yes, I really want to get TikTok because I'm old enough now. It is a 12 plus app. And I love just doing dance videos for myself to see because then if I'm trying to do it on another app, it's really hard to correspond the music with the dance as well. It is tough. Fairly paid. Fairly paid.

Yeah, so this is the thing. She's counted it quite nicely because I was like, oh, I didn't. Well, you took her off TikTok when the Chinese communists got involved. No, I'm just a bit wary. You know, like,

obviously things live on in the internet and I want to be protective of my daughter. And, you know, look at our embarrassing back catalogue of work that's out there, Jono. From Jono and Ben. Rich, stop trying to be protective. But she's come of work that's out there, Jono. From Jono and Ben to TVT. I'm trying to be protective, but she's come up with a good argument going,

well, I won't post publicly. Just do it on drafts. Yeah. Now, defendant Beboys, you're still holding out? Yeah, I've got him. You're not 12. Legally, you can't do it. Now she's 12, so, you know.

So this is where the jury, this is where you come in. Oh, no, 800 hits for Judge Jono. Does Ben let his daughter get TikTok? I don't know why I'm putting this huge parental decision in the arms and the eyes of the audience. I'm interested because, you know, there'll be parents listening right now or even young people as well. When did they start using social media? There's many things you can trip over, you know, and make mistakes on social media and those things can live on. You want to protect your kids as well

but then at the same time, at what point do you kind of go, okay. Will this father be found guilty of depriving his child of 15 second dance spasms? It's not the first time he's been in a courtroom either. Closing argument, do you have anything

else you want to say? Overall, it is a really fun app and I really want it back. Please. Oh, she used her manners. She's done a list. Well, you came very

underprepared for this court case. I was just pleading emotion. Emotion. I was speaking from the heart. I was like representing

myself where really I should have got a lawyer involved. Oh, 800. Should Ben allow Sienna on TikTok? Or will she? I don't know.

What else is she doing? I don't know how to wrap this up. Every caller wins a ham. We'd love your thoughts. What did you do in your household? Your kids on social media would love to hear from you next. It is the Hicks. Jono and Ben.

New Zealand's breakfast. But let's go to the phones. Should Ben let his 12-year-old daughter on TikTok? What have you done? Pip, you're on from Tauranga as juror number one, and I'd like you to refer to me as the right honourable Judge Jono. My son is 14, and he was allowed to get it because I checked the rules and it was 13 at the time.

Oh, OK. And I have him signed in on my phone so I can moderate it just to make sure there's no bullying or anything going on as well. Because you do worry about that. My daughter, who's 11, is not mature enough for it. She's a different kettle of fish, so she won't be getting it anytime soon. Yeah, well, those fish in different kettles, they always do bamboozle the situation.

So do you think Ben should let her on at age 12? Yeah, I think it's okay at age 12 as long as she sticks with the rules and any rule breaking, then, yeah, that's when you close it down or lock her out of it. I'll tell you when it's not okay, at age 40, like us, like Ben and me.

Okay, Andrea, thank you very much. Sorry, Pip, thank you very much. Guess what? You win a free ham too, thanks to Farmland Foods, all right? Farmland's hams. Thank you. Good on you, Andrea.

Jura number two. In the case of boys versus boys, will this dad let his daughter on TikTok? I think you need to. I think Sienna sounds like a very articulate, creative young lady. Okay. Just like her dad, an entertainer.

So I think she needs to spread her wings and do have the account, the TikTok account. Yeah, you're depriving the world of entertainment. Well, yeah, she's way more entertaining than me, so that's for sure. So you're right. Okay, so far, two from two. And in favour of Sienna, let's go to Lucy

who's 24 years old. Deep within the social media stratosphere. Lucy, your thoughts on this? This is Dura number three. Thanks. My sister's 12, and she fought long and hard for her TikTok account, but there was lots of conditions of

she was only allowed to have it if the only people she was following was her friends. Right. The people, you know, everything has to be private. No creepy old men can see her. And it has to be logged in on my phone as an older sister. It's my job. So I can go through.

I can switch accounts whenever I want. And I go through and I just click not interested on anything I don't like to look up. Oh, this is your moderator, 24 years old. What a sensible older sister moderating an account. It's really not been that bad, actually. She just watches, like, weird nerdy Minecraft stuff. Yeah, and now you've just called your sister a nerd. Come on.

I'll show you some stuff that's better than this. Well, it's a clean sweep. It's saying yes with moderation. Lucy, you're also going to get a free ham too from Christmas thanks to Farmland, alright? Thank you so much. Every person we talk to gets a free ham and it's a clean sweep. So, Ben

Boyce, you're found guilty of depriving Sienna of TikTok and you will be sentenced to death by embarrassment. We all get to look through your internet history for the last six months. Razine, your home of Kiwi-made paints and colours this summer, presents Jono and Ben's $10,000 mystery colour mix.

Boy, so happy, that wonderful lady, isn't she? Brightens up my morning. Now, Razine paints, wood stains and colours are designed and made right here in New Zealand and have been named the most trusted paint for the last 10 years. And right now, you need to guess what is inside the Resine Paint Tin. We've got an item. Only producer Bee Humps knows what it is.

Now I've had a lot of friends who I haven't heard from in many years texting me for this competition. Yeah, people are really loving it. Not once have they texted saying, how are you, mate? Just, can I win this Resine competition? But I do have a friend Tiff who's got quite a good one I just read out to you Ben

do we waste a hundred on this guess well but just Juliet saying no you don't think so no because of some of the clues that we've got yeah

doesn't quite line up well I won't I won't officially lodge it as one since you say it though he's going to take a hundred dollars off well can you not

take a hundred dollars off or can we just have a conversation let's not the rules but I'm not talking to B hubs I'm not looking at them I'm just engaging with Juliet he's going to take $100 off. Well, can you not take $100 off or can I just have a conversation? That's not the rules. But I'm not talking to B-Hubs. I'm not looking at them. I'm just engaging with Juliet.

If I just engage with Juliet and Ben, you're out of this conversation. Okay? It's a padlock. You don't think? Why do you think it's a padlock? Well, I don't know. It's got the same weight.

And it's got like, the bottom of the tin now, because we've rattled it, so much has got little indentations. So it must have some sort of sharp edge. So it's the tie into summer being pool. Oh like a padlock. So how does it relate to potentially Wellington? Wellington like swimming don't they?

Wellington is lovely swimming. Hold on can you hear another voice because I was just having a conversation with you three. Well $7,400 yours if you want to lock that in. Do you want to lock that in? Potentially $7,400. What do you reckon? I don't want to. It's not an official guess. It is a good guess though.

It is a good guess. Can I also just quickly, sorry, cast your mind back to yesterday when I just said off the cuff, oh, can we have a free clue tomorrow? And we all agreed. Yeah, you did catch me at a weak moment there. I'll give you a clue.

Okay, producer Behemoths, what have we got? Throw it away once you're done. Ah. Not a padlock. No, great move not lodging the padlock. Okay, let's go to Tony. Throw it away once you're done. Tony and Tauranga, welcome

to New Zealand's breakfast. What do you think's in the Resene Pantene for $7,400? What do you reckon there, Tony? Oh, well, Tony, I'll lodge her guess. It was chapstick. A stick of chap. You throw away once you're done. Summer-ish

item. Wellington loves moist lips out of all the regions they have the moistest lips men boys very windy not cracked lovely soft lips

it's not chapstick can't beat Wellington on a good day you just want to kiss them lips in the capital you know I saw someone the other day

applying chapstick at a bus stop with both hands it was quite an unusual chapstick application technique. Get Justin off of Christchurch. Welcome to the show, Justin. What do you reckon's in the Rosene paint tin, mate? I reckon it's a rock for skimming.

Oh, skimming on the beach. Oh, it does feel like it. Yes. That's it. We've got it. Yes. You can't beat it on a good day for some reason. I don't know.

No. That's a good guess, Justin. Justin, the good news is that we're going to give you thanks to Farmland Foods and Farmland Hams. A free ham, Justin. Piggy, piggy, piggy, can't you see? I want to win you just for free. Piggy, piggy, piggy's all yours, Justin. Shall we take one more?

Yeah, we'll take one more call. Let's get Emma on from Christchurch. How are you, Emma? Hello, guys. How are you? We're well, mate. Lovely to hear your voice this morning. What's in this Rosine painting?

Well, am I left after that guest change what I think it might be? Yeah, you can change it. I think it might be a can of Lion Brown beer. A can of Lion Brown, but Wellington's very own lager. Yes. Oh. That's it, that's it. You can't be there on a good day.

It feels like a, yes. On a good day, a beer, a nice beer on a good day. You throw the can away. Yeah. Oh, this is good. Emma, have you got $7,200? Sorry, Emma. Oh!

That was a solid guess. Oh, we'll be back again tomorrow. We need to get a winner on this month, Friday. We need to, right? Hey, Emma, I want to hold your ham, because guess what, Emma? I want to hold your ham. You've got a free ham, baby. Thank you!

There you go, thanks to Farmland Foods. Every caller we talk to gets a ham this week. That's the hits. You got Jono and Ben? Yeah, yeah, nah. Yeah, nah. Yeah, nah. The home of yeah, nah. She'll be right, and at the end of the day...

Jono and Ben. Breakfast on the hits. We're having a look back on 2021. This is Jono and Ben present moments you would rather forget from a year we would rather forget. Now, in this otherwise flawless production, Ben Boyce, it's time for us to take a look in the mirror. It's been a couple of hiccups along the way, haven't there?

It has been, yeah. I'll put my hand up and say, you know, I've made a couple of mistakes over the last 12 months And she travels around the UK as the number one Adele impersonator full time gig impersonating her her name right now

is Jenny and welcome to the show Jenny, how are you? Maria Hello, I'm well thank you Sometimes you get the names wrong of guests you're interviewing. Also, we were talking about the America's Cup. Yeah, that was on this year. Yeah, vaguely remember that, right?

And we had this to say. Are there any other sports in the world that rely so much on wind? There wouldn't be, would there? No. The Wind Chime Championships, maybe? You're right. Windsurfing? No. The wind chime championships maybe? You're right. Wind surfing? Oh.

Yeah, so there's a couple of black marks on the show throughout the year, but... Not just you though. Not just you, Ben Boyce. You've also made mistakes. Mistakes to do with apps. Yeah. We have a WhatsApp group,

and if anyone sees something that maybe is interesting for the radio program, you can send it through. There's a little link on the WhatsApp group. So we've got a WhatsApp group. I've got a couple going on at the moment, WhatsApp groups, and a couple for my daughters, a netball WhatsApp group, which is just the parents. So I'm on two of these WhatsApp groups as well as the radio one. So over the weekend, I saw an Ormond's Day article about these two Kiwi mums that had started an adult toy business during lockdown. A thriving

adult toy business. I opened up that article. Like I said that one eventually to the right WhatsApp group. But yeah, but in the first message I sent, I put on the WhatsApp group, I said we should talk to these laddies about their adult toys. And I said that Do you know all of this? The netball group. And I said that. Do you know who loves this?

The netball group. Thinking I was sending it to the radio group, but I sent it to the netball mums and their nephew dads. I go, we should talk to these ladies about their adult toys. And what, integrate them into training? What do you want? Is it like a player of the day trophy? Vroom.

And then I was like, why did I get a hurt? And then I looked back and I was like, oh dear God. That deserves a hurt. This has been another Pride Voice production. Proud production. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from sex on the hits. And via the iHeartRadio app. Brought to you by Rosene.

New Zealand's most trusted paint. Kiwi-made since 1946.