Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL : We Are On Our Charity Drive!

Episode Date: February 22, 2023

Charity Drive Mike Mcroberts  5 Words!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Yes, kia ora, welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast coming to you at 30 kilometers an hour right now on a golf court, a golf cart at Mount Smart Stadium. We are traveling the distance, the length of New Zealand, 1600 kilometers round and round the field here at Mount Smart. And we're raising money, Ben, for the Red Cross disaster relief for those affected by the cyclone. I feel like I've said that about not so many times. Do you think people get sick of us saying that? Oh, probably if you listen to the whole show. But it's important to get the message out there. We are doing this, as you just said, raising money, driving around and around Mount Smart, the loop.

Now, we reckon it's going to take us around 53 hours or so, maybe a little bit longer, depending on how we track. But at what stage do you think it's going to be the hardest? I reckon about 2 in the morning on night 2. I genuinely think tomorrow is going to feel like pretty difficult. It's a long way off. And it's a small thing, you know, compared to what some families are going through.

And we've got to remember that. And that's what we're doing it for. You'll think all of the stresses that people have had since the cyclone, no power, water. This is very minimal. Yeah, it is. And we've got to keep it. But, you know, you're right.

Day two, I think, is going to be the hardest for us in that regard, but a very small thing in comparison. I remember once we did a, it was a bumper car world record at Rainbow's End, and we drove bumper cars around and around, I think for like 30-something hours or something. But I remember at nighttime, and we just didn't, it was like an hour we just didn't talk to each other it was it was like the funnest thing to do is being at a theme park driving bumper cars but then it just got like theme parks lose their magic at two in the morning yeah we even had the staff there from rainbows end were with us too weren't they and they we invented a game with a ball remember like a volleyball we were playing with this kind of like

water polo but you're in golf. But no one, not even the people at Rainbow's End were saying anything. We were just playing and Simon was like half-heartedly chucking this volleyball

back and forth to each other. So I remember that and that was just one night. So getting through the second night is going to be, you know, it's going to be a bit testing for us. But, you know,

as we said, people going through some very testing times out there in New Zealand. We can have a few breaks. we can we can tag in and tag out oh geez you're hitting that corner fast yeah it's just what I'm punching that are you what I'm wanting to figure out is how fast we can actually take this loop oh there we go maybe not that fast uh how fast you can take the loop without tipping the car so just of course you want to test that one without me in the car? My greatest fear, and your fear, and we've talked about this a couple of times this morning, is

as we fly past where the Warriors train, there's a gym there that I've been looking in like some sort of perv every time we've been going past. If you were on CCTV footage, they'd be like, this guy's losing his membership. Oh, Jesus. You know how they post some gym members on the wall who've let their friends in?

You'd be one of those, but just for pervert purposes. But we fly past there, or we were just then, where the Warriors have been training, and I'm really worried someone's going to walk out. And we're going to injure them. Yeah, you're going to injure a Warriors player. But you've taken that lap. That was a lap in the time that we've just been talking. That was one of the laps we've been doing.

So 500 metres round the field, but we can actually go above. At the top of the hill, there's a big footpath that loops around the whole stadium, which is about 800 or 900 metres, so nearly a kilometre. And a go-kart track as well. I think it's new, so we'll look forward to it. We can check that out. I wonder if we can take this on the golf cart. The go-kart. Golf cart, that's what we're in, going on the go-kart.

Can I just add something there quickly to you guys? Sure, Producer Joel. Now, Producer Joel, you know the rule on this show. If you just pipe up and start talking, no one's going to know what's happening. So you need to wait for us to bring you in. That was stipulated, I think, when he started his employment. Is that right, Ben? Yeah, he keeps butting in, right?

He does. Two professional broadcasters were just on a flow there. An inexperienced 22-year-old comes in, rattles our flow. I can't even remember what we were talking about. I can't either.

I mean, yeah, I felt like I knew that was happening. That's why I couldn't say golf cart and go-kart. I was just going to say, something was just putting me off. So whatever you've got to say, it's obviously important. So we'll let you talk. I was going to bump in on the live broadcast,

but I didn't want that spiel from you guys. So I thought I'd save it to the podcast intro. But I was thinking, if you guys drove into like Adam Faneuil-Blake or Marcelo Montoya, I reckon the golf cart would be in trouble. I seriously reckon the golf cart would be in more trouble than you guys. Do you know, Marcelo, this is pulling back the curtain and I hope I'm not revealing anything that I shouldn't be revealing.

I don't know what you're going to say here. Marcelo Montoya, he's actually married to... What are you saying? Like a gossip thing? I'm talking like a gossip thing I'm talking like a gossipy a gossipy like yes yes

they're married to Taylor he's married to Taylor yeah like I think it's pretty public they had a little people at the wedding

yeah so they did you know so he's married to Taylor who's the producer of the afternoon show here it's Brad and Laura and Ben he came

out before from the gym, and he was like, hey, guys, hey, guys. Because we met him once. And I was like, oh, geez. I even read it because he kind of handshake, hug situation. Just muscle. Just a ball of muscle. He's a lovely dude.

We had a conversation. You know, I'm a super fan of the Warriors. I know. And all the way, in my head, I get in my head, because I was chatting to them, and we're having a good chat, and in my head I'm like, oh, don't screw this up, Ian. Don't fanboy too much. How do you think it went?

I was trying to play it cool. Yeah, I think you did well. I tried to, and then someone else we walked with came over, and he was like, we should get a photo. And I was like, oh. And I did want a photo, but then they kind of came over, and they were like, we should get hey and i was like oh and i did want a photo but then they kind of came over and like we should get a photo of like the fact yeah no this is when i was trying to play it cool and yeah and i thought that was probably not playing it as cool as we'd like but

it was great to get photographic evidence at the same time yeah i was like oh come on we don't need a photo but we we really did um i hope they don't hear this. I think that was me, the person. Was that at the Christmas party? Yeah. It was me. I was like, Ben. We've got to fight.

You're right. Straight in there. It was you. But, yeah, the thing is, you've got to, you know, when there's a professional athlete in our team, guys, and, yeah, he's in our team, we do need to play it cool. Did you hear that he's married? Sorry. Actually, edit all of this out, thanks, Joel.

Yeah, no worries, man. We're already losing our mind this morning, the monotony of just driving around and around so far. So we started just after six o'clock, and we're doing around about 60 kilometres an hour. Not speed, but we're covering 60 kilometers an hour so at this point we would probably be nearing fangare if we started in cape brianga so uh we'll just keep on going we'll just keep on going wait this car sorry can i just please quickly add one more thing to you guys here it goes again yeah sorry yeah yeah if you're going if you're doing 60 kilometers an

hour doesn't that if you're doing 60 k's an hour doesn't that mean you're going 60km an hour? I can't remember. Did you say, hey, we'll throw it over to Producer Joel? I don't know. We'll throw it over to our stats person. Just correct me if I'm wrong. All day, even off air, because Producer Joel, as we've mentioned as well, he's a big Warriors fan. Yeah.

All day, I'll be like, oh, we're dropping past that guy. He's on the bench. No, no, mate, he'll be starting this year. Oh, okay. You know, like, he's like Ray Warren over here every time I go to talk to him. Just correct me if I'm wrong. If you've done 60Ks in an hour, doesn't that mean you're going 60Ks an hour? Hey, here's another thing.

Hey, new broadcaster. Here's another thing. When the professionals, us, when we continue on and veer off into another subject like Ben just did, that means we want to drop it, okay? Yes, yes. There's probably a high chance you're dead correct. Drop it. Drop it.

Drop it. All right. That's a signal to let it go. I'll edit that out for you guys. We'll leave you with the podcast. And we'll continue to drive around in this golf cart. Enjoy. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

So Jono and Ben here with you. We are here at Mount Smart Stadium this morning. We're about to do our charity drive very shortly. Raising money for the Red Cross, you can text CYCLONE to 3493. Instant $3 donation. Help out those affected by the terrible weather events over the last couple of weeks. Yes, and we are going to take this thing 1,600 kilometres, the distance of New Zealand, this golf cart we are sitting in,

this easy-go golf cart, round and round Mount Smart Stadium until we reach Bluff. Until we reach the end of the country. So I reckon it's going to take us what, somewhere around 53 hours? Judging by the speed of the golf cart, the calculations, what we need to go. So it's going to be a big couple

of days ahead of us. Now what we can see at the moment is the glorious Mount Smart Stadium field that your Warriors play on. I know. I feel like a commentary. This is the closest I'm going to get to commentary. We've got those little cool microphones with the headphones on. We're sitting sideline here at Mount Smart. Sprinklers are on.

The field's on. The light's on. The closest he's going to get to commentary is 6 o'clock on a Wednesday morning with no one on the league field playing. But now, like if you ever wanted to do a nudie run, no one would have to see you. You know, there'd be no shame and embarrassment.

No, but I don't want to do it. I've never wanted to do a nudie run. I don't have the money. I will donate. No. I will donate $20 million to the disaster fund. No. If you take your clothes off now and do a nudie run.

No, you won't. Nudie run. No, you won't. I know you won't. I know you won't. I don't have $20 million. Exactly. You've overshot the mark, haven't you? Okay, $20.

I am tempted, though. A couple of your Warriors players, I love the Warriors. They've already arrived here. They're training for their season. Can I go on and just hang out, or do we have to drive this thing? Yeah, sure. I'll drop you there. She'll drive the golf cart in, say,

Hey, Sean Johnson, while you're bench pressing, what do you want to say this thing? Yeah, sure, I'll drop you there. So we drive the golf cart in, say, here's Ben while you're, hey, Sean Johnson, while you're bench pressing. What do you want to say to him, mate, while he's working out? What conversation do you think will take place? Just awkward. Hey, man, I'm a real big fan, and that'll be it. In your dream scenario, how does that all...

All right, all right. Does he start bench pressing you? What's going on? Oh, next we're going to get underway. We're going to start driving the Easy Go Golf Cart around Mount Smart Stadium, around and around. And we'll be driving at the length of New Zealand, as Jono said before.

Take Cyclone to 3493. Let's raise as much money as we can to help those affected. And we'll get into it next. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. We're about to do it. We're about to kick off our charity drive. We're raising money for those affected by the terrible weather over the last couple of weeks.

You can text CYCLONE to 3493, help out the Red Cross, help other people, and we're about to do it. Drive this easy-go golf cart around the stadium. 1,600 kilometres, the length of New Zealand. We're mounting carts in Mount Smart. And the reason we're doing

it, Ben? Well, here's a convenient audio montage. We're trying to exit out the back, so I had to get my kids to walk over all the broken glass. These families, they've literally lost, like, everything. One of the hardest parts of this disaster was that no one could get in touch with anybody.

To the colleagues, their houses have been completely destroyed. A big oak tree fell on their house and they can't get into Hastings. Just trying to be there for people who've had it worse than me and us and just trying to gather strength. But I tell you what, mate, the Netea community has been amazing.

From the restaurants to emergency people and everyone's just chipping in, mate, and doing what we can. Shane from the Red Red Cross. It's been a phenomenal response. We've just been overwhelmed with the generosity that Kiwis have shown just over the last five days. On some of the hits family from Hawke's Bay, Adam and Megan.

You're about to embark on a charity drive for New Zealand Red Cross, right? John and Ben, I never thought I'd say that you're making me cry, but you actually are. Thank you so much. It is absolutely amazing. Yeah, hearts go out to everyone that's been affected by the cyclone and the weather, the terrible

weather of late. And, you know, the clean-ups are going to go on for so long as well, so we really need to raise as much money as we can for the Red Cross. But part of this fund, through the New Zealand Herald, through this radio station and other radio stations right now, up towards just over $5 million so far raised the Red Cross,

but we need to get some more. Yeah, another $22 million. That's what I'm hoping for. Okay, right. That's what I demand. And we're about to get underway. Two adventurers set off on another glorious expedition, Ben. Are you going to go full anthem right now?

You know that? I love the national anthem. All this is just cutting into time that we could be driving around the stadium. Shall we do it? 3, 2, 1. Should we get underway? Here we go. We're underway in the Easy Go Golf Cart.

Oh, it's got some speed. It does have some speed. They did dial it up a bit more than your normal golf cart that you would see fossicking around the green. So we're just going under the stadium at the moment. The lap we're doing is just around the outside of the field at Mount Smart Stadium, under the grandstand. Then we come out towards the southern end of the field there, Ben.

And then we go along the other side of the pitch, back around. And that was some shocking picture painting from me. Well, the charity drive is underway. Jono is driving. I'm doing the nervous parent with the pretend foot brake in front of me, but I can't do it. He's like my teenage son driving around at real pace around Mount Smart Stadium. You can take Cyclone to 3493 to donate $3 to the Red Cross to help out those affected by the Cyclone.

We'll be back soon as the charity drive continues. Only 1600km to go! The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. We're in the middle of our, we're not in the middle, we're at the start of our charity drive. We're driving the length, the equivalent of the length of New Zealand in an easy go golf cart around

Mount Smart Stadium, around and around the stadium, 1600 kilometres raising money for the Red Cross affected by the cyclone and you can text cyclone at any stage to make an instant $3 donation to 3493. And if you have made a donation

we'd love to hear from you too, 0800 the hits you can text 4487 let's have a chat, We'll give you a plug. If you work for a business, you made a donation. We'll give you a plug. We'll do anything. Now, Ben, Harry Styles is here in a couple of weeks. We're just, you know, some great names who are gracing this stadium over the next couple of weeks.

Ben Boyce. Harry Styles. I'm here for the next 53 or so hours. Yeah, but you're right. Harry Styles, I think March the 7th is going to be here. Now, he's touring in Australia at the moment. In Perth, he was there last night, and he kind of got bullied by the crowd into doing a shoeie.

And there's no way out of it. When you have more than three people bullying you into drinking, consuming, you can't back out of it, can you? Now, Harry Styles tipped water into his own shoe and he said it was one of the worst things he's ever done have a listen this is one of the most disgusting traditions Jeez, we love people drinking out of shoes. It's the simple things in life. I remember once you got kind of bullied into doing it.

Remember? Oh, we were in Christchurch at some bleak radio OB, and it was some pub at 10.30 in the morning. Full of students, because that's all who probably are drinking at that time of the day, right? Yeah, and someone came up to Sharon, who were working at the time sharon casey and they're like sharon do a shooie and unbeknownst to anyone apart from us sharon was pregnant and i was like i need to be a good person and take this hit for her i didn't want to i was like risk the baby do the shooie that's what i was thinking i was hoping she was gonna you were like a hero like and take this hit for her. I didn't want to. I was like, risk the baby. Do the shoeie.

That's what I was thinking. I was hoping she was going to risk it. You were like a hero, like Kevin Costner to Whitney Houston in the bodyguard. Took a bullet for her. No! But the problem was it wasn't even my shoe. Or her shoe, either.

Or her shoe, any year. It was some manky Nike free thing. It looked like it had been worn for about nine years. And this girl took it off her foot and she's like, do a shoe. And poured like semi-en blanc or something in it. And I'm with Harry Styles. It was the lowest thing I've ever done. And I

still taste it to this day. I can still taste the tin ear in the athlete's foot. So if you want Jonathan to do a shoe you can just pledge a donation to help out those. Is that what you're saying? I know the Warriors are training at the moment here at Mount Smart. Okay, if we can pour some Sauvignon Blanc into a Warriors football boot straight after training, I'll do it.

All right, awesome. There you go. Three bucks. You can text CYCLONE to 3493, make an instant $3 donation as our charity drive kicks into gear. Driving a golf cart around Mount Smart Stadium. It is The Hits. You've got Jono and Ben, 626.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. It is a beachy year on The Hits. Jono and Ben, on a Wednesday morning, we have started our charity drive. We're in our easy-go electric golf cart, driving around and around Mount Smart Stadium, the equivalent of the length of New Zealand. It's going to take us a couple of days.

Raising money for those affected by the cyclone to help with the Red Cross at 3493 is the number if you want to text a cyclone to make an instant $3 donation. Now, you said, Ben, something happened to you on a lift yesterday. Do you want to show me on a picture where things went wrong? It was very, very unusual. Now, where we park our cars, there's a lift that travels many, many floors. And I got into the lift and there was a lady in the lift, just one lady who was in there already. And she was singing.

Now, I thought maybe she was singing to herself. And when I'd get into the lift and being the other person, she would stop. But no. So I got into the lift and then she just continued to sing, and not like just to herself. It was quite sort of loud singing. Was it good singing? Yeah.

But would you have put her through to boot camp? Yeah, it was lovely. She was on an idol. It was lovely, but then I sort of like, you know, because the lift's an awkward place to be. First rule of standing in a lift, stand still, stand in silence, and stand and pretend like no one else is in there. But then, yeah, so I didn't know what to do,

but I sort of smiled and looked at it. And then she just sort of looked me dead in the eyes while singing. And I couldn't look anywhere else. And it was lovely. It was lovely singing. But the whole time I was like, this is very unusual. Are there cameras? Is this a hidden camera show?

Did you have to, like, applaud her? Did she have to say? She didn't get to the end of the song. So I just sort of smiled and bobbed. You know me, I've got no rhythm. I'm not coordinated. So I just sort of smiled and Bob, you know me, I've got no rhythm, I'm not coordinated. So I just sort of nodded and bobbed my head along to what she was doing.

I didn't know the song, I couldn't join in. But it was very, very unusual. One of the most awkward things as a radio host, I find, is when you have a music artist come into the studio and they're like, hey, I'm going to do an acoustic song. Which is always incredible. It sounds incredible.

It does. It's incredible. It does. It's just us and them. Yeah. It's like a one-on-two gig, and I don't know where to look. I don't know if I should be dancing the whole time, mouthing along with the words. So I kind of start off doing a bit of head bobbing, and then eventually I just kind of pretend to look at the on-air computer screens

as if something important is going on there, because I don't know where to look with my eyes.'m with you because you can't make noise either too because you don't want our little yeah across the radio as well you want to give them their moment but it is kind of awkward sounds great on radio but for us we're like i know you were complaining about being in a lift with someone singing but we had a segment we used to film called elevator music we would do this to people with musical artists. Imagine how bad they felt. I can see how awkward it is. It's probably why we can't do that again.

We'll continue our drive around Mount Smart Stadium as we go around and around the loop. We're just coming underneath the stadium right now. But you can text Cyclone3493. Let's raise as much money as we can for the Red Cross. How about those affected by the Cyclone? The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Oh, I will hold on to the afterglow.

It is Ed Sheeran. You're on The Hits, Jono and Ben. So he's bringing out his own hot sauce, Ed Sheeran. Bringing his, yeah. Is he? Yeah, which is diversified. While he's touring the world. How's he getting all that done?

I don't know. He's a busy individual. He's a business guy. But he's touring the world. How's he getting all that done? I don't know. He's a busy individual. He's a business guy. But he's a tomato sauce fan. He's got a tattoo of the Heinz ketchup bottle on his arm. That's right. Wherever it was made, I think Philadelphia or something it's from, he got the ketchup bottle tattooed onto himself.

Now, finally there's someone out there with more questionable tattoos than me. I've got a dog smoking a cigarette. What's worse? The dog smoking a cigarette on my body or Ed Sheeran's? Oh, look, hey. I know what you're going to say. You're going to say my one because you don't want to offend Ed Sheeran.

But Ed Sheeran's never going to hear this. So I want the honest answer. Your one. What is more questionable? Your one. What is mine worse? Your one. A branded bottle of ketchup.

Hey, now, South Park, the animated show. Now, they did an episode last week in the States where they kind of took the mickey out of Prince Harry and Meghan and, well, it hasn't been very well received, according to narcs, narcs that know them, and they could be suing. Apparently they could be suing South Park. Here's a wee bit from the show.

Why they even left Canada is beyond me. And like, she seems to just boss them around and make them do whatever she wants. I mean, why did they even leave Canada and move to South Park anyway? Dude, we're just kind of sick of hearing about them. I'm sick of hearing about them. But I can't get away from them. They're everywhere in my f***ing face.

So then just ignore them. The more attention you give them, the more power they have. How did they sue them? That's what I kind of wanted. I mean attention you give them, the more power they have. How did they sue them for that? That's what I kind of wanted. I mean, the whole episode, there's more to that. But I was like, what are they suing them for? Probably for money that they're not earning at the moment. Maybe that's...

The book's done. The Netflix is done. Now you just sue people. That's a great way to get an income. South Park, a bit spicy back in the day, eh? A lot of their stuff would have been cancelled, Ben. Yeah. Yeah.

They're still going? They're still going. It's still going. We are. Round and around Mount Smart Stadium. We're in a golf cart raising money for those affected by the cyclone. We want as much money as we can over the next couple of days. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

Jono and Ben raising money for the Red Cross to help those affected by the cyclone. You can text cyclone to 3493 to donate $3 right now. Yes, the Disaster Relief Fund. We're actually going to be talking to Shane. Shane-o from the Red Cross after 7 o'clock this morning. Because, you know, you do hear about the Red Cross, but you're not quite sure exactly what happens with the money, what it goes towards. So Shane's going to, we're going to

audit Shane at 7.30. I'm going to grill him on everything. All the bottom lines, where every cent is going. Rest assured. Thanks to Trade Tested, we have generators to pass on to people that need it right now. And thanks to Trade Tested, we've got generators to pass

on to people that need it right now. So we might make a call to one of those people on 0800 The Hats. Hi. Hi, who's this? Is this you, Clark? Yeah, it's Clarky. How are you? Good.

How are you? Yeah, no, good. What have you been up to? Oh, sorry. Hello? Yeah, Clarky here. Is that all I'm listening to? It, Clarky here. Is that all I'm listening to? It says Clarky.

I've just been doing, you know. I'm here with Jacinda's here. We're both here. I'm so confused. So am I, to be honest. I'm confused you called me Clark. It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. Oh, how are you?

We're doing all right. We're doing really well, really well. Are you friends with Clark and Jacinda or is it another Clark? No, it's another Clark. It's a brief. Were you expecting a call from Clark? I was expecting a call from Clark, yes. We're probably taking up valuable, we might be taking up the phone line here,

so we'll get off quickly. Listen, Shah, you nominated your father. Yes. He's in Tokumaru Bay and his road's been cut off, he's blocked in this small town and they need a generator. Well, Trade Tested, our mates at Trade Tested want to give you one. Oh, honestly, guys, it almost makes me want to cry, actually. I'm so grateful. Listen, I know so many people are doing it tough but also you gotta you gotta spare a thought for the family members of people who can't be with their loved

ones you just want to probably be there and give them a big hug yeah yeah absolutely what have they been through um i think it's just hard for them at the moment because there's no petrol there's no way to get um the the gas just for emergency services. There is one shop, it is a bit of an expensive and it's a long way for them to walk down. They've got no power, dad's phone just came on yesterday.

But, you know, having to have power and be able to put cry in there is just such a relief and a stress relief for them at this time. Have you not spoken to your father until yesterday? Yeah, they were allowed to go down to the fire station and use the starlink, but he's with Two Degrees and their cell service in their remote area of Maungahone Valley only turned on yesterday.

Oh my goodness, it's so long between finding out are they doing okay, what do they need? Jeez, yeah. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And there's still thousands of people in that same position. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there is. It's crazy. It is. Perfect word to describe it.

It's almost surreal, isn't it? Like it's not actually happening. Yeah, yeah. Hey, well, Shah, listen, you know, a very small light for you from Trade Tested. They want to give you that generator for your family and we honestly hope everyone is safe.

Thank you. That's amazing. From the bottom of my heart, thank you so, so much. That's okay. And I also hope Clark is able to get through as well. Yeah, we'll get off the phone because Clark is calling. You keep safe out there, Char. Thank you. After seven, you can actually issue us a challenge

as we're doing our charity drive. If you want to donate some money towards the Red Cross, your challenges, dare I say it, it's making me a little nervous, but we'll be doing that after seven. It is the hits. It's a charity, Ben. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

We're in the middle of our charity drive. We're driving an easy of our charity drive. We're driving an easy-go golf cart around and around Mount Smart Stadium, the length of New Zealand, so 1,600 kilometres. We reckon it's probably going to take about 53-ish hours, and we're doing it to raise money for those affected by the cyclones to help out with the Red Cross so you can take Cyclone to 3493 to make an instant $3 donation. It'll only take 53 hours if Ben doesn't mess up the directions.

Read the maps properly. We're just going one way around. The direction is round and round Mount Smart Stadium. Says a guy who, while driving from Hamilton to Auckland, somehow got us lost. I did. How did you end up veering off the State Highway 1? So if I end up on the Southern Motorway in the golf cart,

things have gone terribly, terribly wrong. You know, my grave concern is we are at Mount Smart Stadium. The Warriors, they train here, obviously. They're training already. We can see them as we drive past in the gym here at Mount Smart. They get here very early. They were here before 6 o'clock. My grave fear is that we come hoofing past their gym under the grandstand.

Sean Johnson walks out. Oh, don't say this. And we run him over with a golf cart. And they'll be like, Johnson's out. For the season. After suffering a freak golf cart accident. And, you know, Warriors fans will hate me, and I love the Warriors.

I don't want that. It was for charity, though. And speaking of which, we are willing to do anything, anything to raise money for the Red Cross Fund. And so right now, you can call us, 0800 THE HITS, if you'd like to pledge any denomination, and we will do it. We will do anything. So, for example, I pledge Ben six bucks to lick all four tires on the golf cart.

Okay, that's from Jolly Price. I pledge $4.50 for Ben to grant Jono full access to his bank accounts for an hour. Passwords, little pins on the back of credit cards. $4.50, geez. Okay, well, let's get some better ones than that. You can give us a call right now, 0800THEHITS, or you can text us as well. But, yes, next, we'll do one of your challenges. We'll raise some money for the Red Cross.

Help those affected by the cyclone. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. You're on The Hits. Jono and Ben with you. Wednesday morning, we're in the middle of our charity drive raising money for the Red Cross. You can text cyclone to 3493 if you want to make an instant $3 donation

as we drive our easy-go golf cart around and around Mount Smart Stadium. Yes, the length of New Zealand, 1,600 kilometres. We've just started. And the thing with these charity drives, we've been here before, Ben, is you want little spikes, little fundraising spikes, don't you? So we thought, well, we can open up the phone lines. People can issue challenges. we'll complete them ben you you had one involving uh me showering with the warriors that's right the warriors who are training here at the moment i thought you could go in there and

shout you know because we're both undies on in the shower type uh type guys and those sort of social sports well we'd like to keep you know something to the imagination don't we yeah so we thought maybe today, you know, for charity, undies could come off and you could get on in there with the boys. And have they got phones? What's going on? I don't know. I haven't really thought about it.

How much are you willing to pledge? $9.50. Done. We've got Chris from, our friend Chris from Kindface has called through to the show. How are you, Chris? Jeez, I'm good, boys. It's been a while, eh?

I think about three years ago. Yes, it's been a while. Now, Kindface, yeah, that's right. You kind of came burst onto the scene in the pandemic with Kindface face masks. And how's things been with the business? You been well? Yeah, yeah, we've been keeping our head above the water. Probably a bad saying, but it's tough out there as a small business.

But, you know, we don't actually make those face masks anymore. We sell them, but we haven't made any for a long time. We're in the business of making things to help you sleep and sort of restore your energy and revitalise yourself. Now, we've just been handed something, actually, by our producer, Humphrey. It's a Kindface eye mask, which you can use for sleeping. You can get from the Kindface website. And there's a challenge surrounding this for a donation, Chris.

Yeah, yeah, we were thinking quite often we listen to you guys and hear Ben say he's not a really good driver and we hear Jono say he's an awesome driver. We thought, here we go. Here we go. Let's see how bad Ben is. And let's see how good Jono is at navigating. So, Ben, we're prepared to donate $500 to the cause,

the very worthy cause, if you can complete one lap, one lap wearing that new sleep mask that we've just launched. And Jono's going to have to navigate and sort of give you the instructions to complete the lap. And hopefully the easy go kart is still in one piece. Now, this is, you know, pretty reckless early on in the piece. You don't see Lewis Hamilton going, you know, on the second lap of this race. I might keep my eyes closed. But this could be the end of the golf cart early in the piece.

For charity, for the Red Cross, it's a great cause, as you say, Chris. All right, I'm going to... It's just going to end up as a shouty, bickering situation. I know how this is going to play out. OK, he's put his face mask on now, Chris. Now, Chris, you're also saying all the sales during the duration of our charity drive too. A percentage of it you're going to chuck to the Red Cross Disaster Fund too?

Yeah, it's the least we can do, eh? We're in Auckland, we weren't affected too badly. A little bit of flooding, missed a few days of production, team staying home, that sort of thing. So for the next, well, however long it takes, boys, we're going to donate 25% of the order value on anything that people purchase off Kindfaceface so you've also got another couple of products i dropped off to help you sleep and maybe people out there in new zealand need a

new pillow and they love the idea of a new zealand made pillow and inside that pillow is wool new zealand wool sourced from the gisborne region so that's same with the sleep mask there's gisborne wool in the inside layer so we're also supporting Gisborne farmers at the same time. But 25% will donate back to the Red Cross Disaster Fund. Least we can do. Okay, well, Ben has chucked the face mask on, the kind face eye mask, sorry. And we are ready to go blindfolded. Ben, just push the accelerator and go.

Okay. Go hard. Push hard. Go hard. I don't want to go hard. Straighten up the cart. Straighten up the cart. I'll go straight.

I'll go straight. This is so difficult. For $500, you're veering towards the field right now. Okay, well, tell me. Should I go which way? Tell me you're not navigating at all. You go left, left, left. Okay, okay.

I told you we'd start bickering. Left, left. How far left? How far left? A bit more left. A bit more left. You're going right. No, I'm not going right.

You're going right. No, I'm not going right. Go left. Go straight. I, I'm not going right. You're going right. No, I'm not going right. Go left, go straight. I am going. What? Okay. Now, if you keep going, now, just straighten up a bit.

Just back to the right. I don't know which way is straight. Which way is straight? Now, you're going left, right. This is left, right? Okay. Chris, we'll be back with you shortly. Oh, jeez.

We'll continue bickering and arguing. Okay, all right. Yeah, we'll play some music. We'll be back. Do something. I can't see a thing. This is... Oh, jeez. Continue bickering and arguing. Okay, all right. Yeah, we'll play some music. We'll be back. Do something. I can't see a thing. This is... Oh, jeez.

Well, this is how blind people have to drive every day, mate. They do it just fine. So keep going straight. It is the hits. You got Jono and Ben. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. Jono and Ben.

We're in the middle of our charity drive, driving a golf cart around and around Mount Smart Stadium, raising money for those affected by the cyclone. You can text cyclone to 3493 to donate $3 to the Red Cross. Now, the organisation that we are doing it for, Ben, it is the Red Cross, and you sometimes wonder, what are these people doing? How are they? Well, I know they're doing... They're doing great work.

They're doing great work. What is that great work? And we're joined by Shane from the Red Cross. Good morning. Good morning. How are you? Lovely to have you on, Shane Shane from the Red Cross. Good morning. Good morning. How are you? Lovely to have you on, Shane, from the Red Cross. We're doing a charity drive.

We're driving a golf cart the distance of New Zealand around Mount Smart Stadium. $1,600, Shane, trying to raise money for the Red Cross Disaster Relief Fund. And we just wanted to get you on because a lot of people might not necessarily know what the Red Cross do. Well, thanks, Chris, for having me on. It's a pleasure and thank you so much for getting in that golf cart and doing those circuits for us, mate. We really do appreciate it.

Listen, it is honestly the least we could do when you see what people are going through. Yeah, fair enough. I hope it stays dry for you, mate. Look, Red Cross, what do we do? It's a really good question. We're part of a much larger group of entities that are here and ready to respond to communities' needs,

particularly when it comes to disasters and emergencies. And we work collectively to make sure that, I suppose, that we're there initially for the response. You know, people are displaced. You know, as we've seen over the last two weeks with Auckland and now with the cyclone, people lose everything. And so what's that initial response we can give to make sure that they're looked after and kept safe and well?

And then New Zealand Red Cross particularly looks at, I suppose, the recovery of communities and families and works within the communities for often a long period of time after the event to make sure people are back on their feet and families are housed and livelihoods are restored and people can get on with their lives again. So you have, I imagine, a lot of staff in those affected areas around the country? We've got staff throughout the country, but to be quite honest, the bulk of our people are volunteers.

So we've got teams deployed in Auckland and across the Hawke's Bay, obviously. The majority of them are all volunteers that have come from all parts of New Zealand that are trained, ready to respond, and they drop what they're doing, and they get up there and put on their uniforms and get out and make a difference. What selfless people they are. That's incredible. And what is the main thing people need these days after such an event? Yeah, that's a really good question. I suppose it's part of that. Thank you, Shane. That's the first time anyone's said I've ever asked a good question.

You're going to retire now. I've recorded that and i will put that on an award or something special for me you should use that question more often no it's really important that we go into communities and and understand community need so for every community it might be it may well be slightly different um it's not a cookie cutter approach at all but i suppose the initial response um from a red cross perspective particularly in the Hawke's Bay is actually setting up those centres so somewhere people can come that have been displaced

they can get some dry clothes they get a bed for the night, they get some good food and just as importantly they have someone to have a chat to as you can imagine, traumatic experience and it's really important that they feel a level of safety and so that's our first response it's really important that they feel a level of safety. So that's our first response, it's really important.

And then from there we, I suppose, work with communities to identify practical things. We've got our wash equipment going into the Hawke's Bay over the next few days which will help with water sanitation and provision of drinking water. So those sort of things are hugely important and it's the sort of thing that we have ready, we deploy as a community needs it.

And I imagine every bit counts. I mean, I know it's tough for AFL. A lot of New Zealanders out there at the moment, cost of living and stuff, but, you know, $3 a nation, it will go towards, you know, every bit will help. Mate, it's been a phenomenal response from Kiwis around the country, and you're right, it's pretty tough times for everyone, but we've just been overwhelmed with the generosity

that Kiwis have shown just over the last five days. I'll be quite honest, it's been actually pretty darn testing to keep up with the amount of donations being made and people wanting to help out. So it's just an absolute delight to be part of the solution and to see such generosity across the country. And every cent makes a difference. We put these funds into a dedicated disaster relief fund

so that we make sure that 100% of the funds that we do collect are used for responding to the current emergencies and preparing for future emergencies as well. And I don't want to catastrophise, but you've obviously been well-versed in reacting to such events. Financially, what do you think the recovery is? Like, have you put a ballpark figure on it? It's early days. It's really early days.

And what we do know from other emergencies, like emergencies, is there's a long tail to these things. So it's one thing to respond and to give some initial emergency relief and support, but to actually get communities back on their feet, we've seen those pictures, people's homes destroyed. It's years of recovery. It's really hard to put a dollar figure on that, but it's in the millions

in regards to Red Cross, without doubt. Alright, hey, well you keep up the great work. To have organisations such as Red Cross in moments like this, invaluable. And if you want to donate, $3, automatic donation, 3493 Shane Chisholm, thank you so much for joining us, and thank you so much for saying I asked a good question.

You're welcome, guys. And, hey, look, just thank you for putting together the golf cart challenge. I think it's a fantastic fundraiser. I'll be putting my three bucks in as well. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. We're driving around Mount Smart Stadium in an easy-go golf cart around and around. It's about 500 metres of the loop that we're doing right now, but we're travelling the length of New Zealand,

1,600 kilometres, so it's going to take us a long time. Yes, we've mounted a cart at Mount Smart and for you to open up your hearts, but more importantly, open up your wallets. You can text a $3 donation to 3493 for the Red Cross Disaster Relief Fund. And if you want to make a bigger donation too, there's details at the hits.co.nz as well. And the reason we're all doing this, Ben, do you want to know the reason?

Yeah. Well, I've got this conveniently compiled audio montage for you. I was trying to exit out the back, so I had to get my kids to walk over all the broken glass. These families, they've literally lost like everything. One of the hardest parts of this disaster was that no one could get in touch with anybody. To the colleagues, their houses have been completely destroyed. A big oak tree fell on their house and they can't get into Hastings. Just trying to be there for people who've had it worse than me and us and then just,

you know, trying to gather strength. But I'll tell you what, mate, the Napa community has been amazing. From the restaurants to emergency people, and everyone's just chipping in, mate, and doing what we can. Shane from the Red Red Cross. It's been a phenomenal response. We've just been overwhelmed with the generosity that Kiwis have shown just over the last five days. On some of the hits family from Hawke's Bay, Adam and Megan.

You're about to embark on a charity drive for New Zealand Red Cross, right? Jono and Ben, I never thought I'd say that you're making me cry, but you actually are. Thank you so much. It is absolutely amazing. Yes, indeed. We're doing it. We're doing it for the Red Cross Disaster Relief Fund and we're at Mount Smart Stadium. Ben, you were mentioning Harry Styles here for a couple of weeks, so technically we're opening up for Harry Styles.

Warming up the stadium for him, just making sure all the facilities are in order, toilets are flushing, seats are all seated. Yeah, the seats are definitely all seated now. Some wonderful comments right there for you, Jono. Thank you. Yeah, the seats are definitely all seated. It's wonderful commentary there for you, Jono. Thank you. It's an awesome stadium. Just driving around the outside,

we're going to get to know it really well. But we're driving in the golf cart right now. I've got my laptop to see what's going on on the radio show. We've got broadcast equipment, microphones. Jeez, a lot could go wrong. Like, if this was a vehicle on the road, you'd definitely be pulled over as a distracted driver. We do about six things all going on at the same time here.

So the biggest worry we have, as the Warriors are training at the moment, is that one of them walks out of the gym and we run over them and ruin their season. That's our biggest concern. Because Ben doesn't want to headline, idiot radio host Ben Boyce ruins Sean Johnson's 2023 NRL Season. That's right, because we're trying to do this for a good thing.

We're trying to raise money for those affected by the cyclone and the horrible weather conditions around the country the last couple of weeks. We're feeling for everyone that has been affected. So if you can help out this morning, you can make a donation, as we've said many times before by texting 3493 to set Cyclone to 3493. That's three bucks. Or if you want to make a bigger donation

you can head to the hitstock.co.nz The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Let's go. Jono and Ben with five words for 5k. Stop any time to keep the cash. Thank you. Or play on to win more. We are driving around Mount Smart Stadium to try and go the distance of New Zealand,

the length of New Zealand, to raise money for the Red Cross. You text CYCLONE to 3493 to make an instant $3 donation. 60 Ks into our journey, Ben. Has that one got to? 60 kilometres, only 1,840 to go, my friend. Oh, 68k sounded good for a while then, until you told me how long we had to go. Nah, but five words this morning. We're going to welcome on the wonderful Leila.

Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast, Leila. Pretty good. Yeah, pretty good. Oh, you're excited. Why are you excited? Because we've been trying to get on for ages and this is stopping us from arguing in the back of the car. Oh, well, you know what, Leila?

You know what I'm excited about? What? Leila, you got me on my knees, Leila. I'm begging all of you. All right, Eric Clanton, wrap it up. Hey, Layla, we're going to get you to play five words. But before we do, we're going to donate $100 in your name to the Red Cross just for playing five words this morning, all right?

Oh, my God. That is amazing. So you can help out some people affected by the cyclone. Now we'll try and win you some money. Who do you want to send away? Obviously, there's no soundproof booth here at Mount Smart Stadium, but one of us will get off the golf cart for a lap. Who do you want to send away?

Jono, please. All right, Jono. Okay. Layla. Okay, he's away. Thank goodness for that. We won't get him to sing for a bit. Okay, Layla, here we go.

We'll drive away from Jono right now on the golf cart. What pops into your head when I say Gabriel? Cyclone. Cyclone. That's what I thought too. Cyclone. Rise is the second one. Rise.

R-I-S-E. Rise. Sun. Sunrise. Mount is word number three, mount. Smart. Mount smart, yeah. Breakfast is word number four this morning, Leila, breakfast.

Show. Breakfast show. And finally, the final word this morning is donation. Donation. Red cross. Red cross. Okay, those are your five words. I am now

going to go past and try and pick up Jono. We've been away from him right now. There we go. Just coming back towards Jono right now. Hold one second, New Zealand. Here we go. Coming back to you right now. It's really hard to work out how fast to go.

I was wanting a lift to the end of New Zealand. Okay, well, here we go. Now we're going the other way. We've actually gone around the other way, but that's all right. Do you know, Leila, there's people here at Mount Smart Stadium and they are replacing every single seat in the stadium. I know. I couldn't think of a more arduous job.

Every seat. Thousands of seats. Poor people. They're the only people going to be going here longer than us here at Mount Smart Stadium. All right, Leila, I think you played a really good game. Let's head to the $25 word. Word one, $25. First word I said to Leila this morning was Gabriel.

Jono, Gabriel, what would you say for that? I'd say cycling. Well done. $25 is yours, Leila. Do you want to go through the next word? Yes, I'll go through. All right. Word two, $50.

I was going to say Gabriel Macht from Suits. Wonderful actor from Suits. We met him. He was wonderful. He was a wonderful chap. Okay, the next word we said this morning. Are you okay? This is for $50.

They're very excited. Rise. R-I-S-E, rise. I'd say sunrise. Sunrise has just happened here at Mount Smart Stadium, and $50 has just happened. Do you want to risk it all for $100? Yes.

Word three, $100. Mount. Mount is word number three. It would be remiss of me, Ben, not to say Mount Smart. Correct. Well done. $ Smart. Correct. Well done. $100.

Now big decisions. Layla, do you want to risk the $100 for $500 or do you want to take the $100 and go away for your day? Skip for $500. You're going for $500? Word four, $500. Breakfast. Breakfast. Breakfast. Breakfast.

There's two. Can I talk with you? Well, you can talk with me. I'm just going to put a layler on hold. Okay. Okay, I'll go the food. So you got a breakfast cereal? Or what we're doing right now?

A breakfast show. Right. Okay. Which one is it? I'd love to tell you, but I can't give you anything. I'm too busy driving the golf cart. Well, did Leila talk about food or not? Hard to say.

Hard to say. A lock-in breakfast show. Yes! Leila, $500. $500! What are we doing? We've got to go for it. You've got to go for it. Oh, $500.

You're risking it all. All right, let's try it. No, it's not, Mum. Oh, have a think. Do you want $500? That's yours. Or are you going to go for $5,000? It's a lot of money.

You can donate. It is a lot of money. I'm with Mum on this one, but hey. I'll take it. What's it going to... No! She's going to take it. She's going to take the $500.

I'm taking the money. She's taking the money. Layla's taking the money. Well done, Layla. $500. Thanks to your sensible investment advisor, Mum, in the money. Layla's taking the money. Well done, Layla, $500. Thanks to her sensible investment advisor, mum in the background. All right, well done, Layla.

$500 is yours. You donated another $100 to the Red Cross in your name. Let's go to the final word. It doesn't matter now, but what would you have said, Jono, if I said donation? Probably text donation. Well done, Leila.

You played a really smart game. $500 is yours. Someone else will have another chance tomorrow. But well done. What are you going to do with $500? Um, probably a bedroom makeover. A bedroom makeover. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Two, two. Has my mic stopped? It's 6.60. It is The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

Is my mic stopped? It's 6.60. It is The Hits. You've got Jono and Ben. Are we on air? Well, I think so. Are we on air? I can hear you. All good to go, guys.

Perfect. I was about to say some wild stuff. I can hear you. I don't know what you're doing right now. In fact, I do know what you're doing. We're driving a golf cart around and around Mount Smart Stadium on a continuous loop. It's going to take us around about, we reckon, about 53 hours or so to drive the equivalent, equivalent, equivalent, that's a hard word to say,

the length of New Zealand around and around. We're doing it for the Red Cross to raise money for those affected by the cyclone. As a radio announcer, you should never say equivalent is a hard word to say. Yeah, true. Ben, I had an absolute low point yesterday in my career as a human being. Oh, really? Now, there's a large part of me not wanting to share this story on the radio, but there's also a small part of me knowing that we have three hours of content to fill every day,

and so I'm willing to take the hit. Okay, okay. I'm excited about this i don't know what this is now it was in preparation of what we're doing right now which is riding a golf cart sitting down for you know 53 to 60 odd hours and what had sort of developed over the last couple of days on my bottomly pots was somewhat of a, I would say, a pimple. Yeah. Right.

And it had reached to the point yesterday where it was quite painful to sit down. Oh, okay. And so I was like, well, I can't go into this expedition having this ailment. It's an ailment that I'd usually ignore. They're not ideal conditions going into something. Exactly. You're right. It's behind me. It's out of sight, out'd usually ignore. Not ideal conditions going into something. Exactly. It's behind me. It's out of sight, out of mind,

like a granddad at a retirement village. So I head to YouTube. I was like, how do I deal with this? Because I can't see it. I don't know what's going on. And all of the advice was go to a medical professional, get it lanced. And I was like,

the medical professional have been through enough over the last two years they don't need this they don't need to study three years or more in university for this did they and the great thing about the internet is if you look hard enough you find an answer you want and the answer was get a pin from the sewing kit. Right. Okay. Get a mirror. Oh, God. Now, you can only imagine what position I had to be in in order to see... The doctor needed to see what he was doing. Oh, jeez. So, bent over, like, looking under my...

in between my legs back at a mirror yeah um this is not flattering this is not flattering and i'm like if anyone walks in on this this is gonna be and so i i had to i do you know without going into too much detail well you have you've gone into a lot of detail. All I'll say is I'm sitting comfortably now. We'll continue to sit comfortably for the next 53 hours or so. I filmed it too if you want to watch. We'll put that up on the Hits Breakfast social media. We'll continue driving around and around Mount Smart Stadium

to raise money for those affected by the cyclone. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. The Hits Cash and Card. We have a brand new Skoda. It's worth just under $48,000 and you could be winning that and all the cash that is stashed in the back of the Skoda.

It's out here with us at Bounce Smart Stadium. I was trying to get into the boot before to see how much cash is in there but the keys weren't working. Yeah, it's locked. The boot is locked tight. But at the moment, we're going to be playing cash and cart with Cash Keeper Alex. So we're going to turn the tables a bit, Alex. Can you guess how much cash we had in the back of our cart?

I reckon there's probably, like, not even a $2 coin. There's none. Well done. I've got a card. I've got, like, a Visa card. I'll. Well done. I've got a card. I've got like a Visa card. I'll be taking that. Ian's got a little bottle of hand sanitizer. Some of his sugar-free mint gum that he's got as well.

Yesterday, Alex, you really threw a spanner in the works. Someone had a guess and you said, I'll give you $500 bribery cash to take now if you walk away. Have we got more bribery cash? No, but I tell you what, that was Tanya from Gisborne, and she actually got through with Brad and Laura that afternoon too, which proves that you can just have as many guesses as you want. And she still stands by that she wasn't going to take the $500, no matter what.

Well, I know, Ben, you've used a bit of bribery cash to cover up my many indiscretions over the years as well, so maybe it'll pop up again. We have no qualms about using it. Let's welcome to the show this morning New Zealand's breakfast. Big welcome as I pad for time, Jan. How are you?

Jane from Wellington. Jane, how are you? I'm doing good. Did you notice I was padding for time? I noticed about the bit you said, and I'm padding for time. Now, Jane, we're going to throw you over to Cash Keeper Alex to have your guess, because right now we're doing a shocking job of radio and driving a golf cart.

Yeah, Jane, hopefully that we can get through this a little bit easier than they can. What was your guess for how much cash is in the car? Well, my guess is $20,049.95. Jane from Wellington with a guess of $20,049.95. That is incorrect. I'm sorry. That's all right.

Great guess. Yeah. I've bustled twice, actually, so maybe my third time would be lucky. That's what they say, apparently. Isn't it, John or Ben? Or they also say we've only got two listeners who keep getting through to the same competition.

One of them will win the car. Either be Jan or Tanya. Or Jane or Tanya, sorry. One of the two. So good luck. You've got a 50-50 chance there. No, your next chance is 11 o'clock this morning. Don't forget you can check out the iHeartRadio app.

And Cash Keeper Alex could be calling you back. Have a great day, Cash Keeper Alex. Hey, you too, guys. Good luck. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. We're in the middle of our charity drive. You can text CYCLONE to 349328, $3 to the Red Cross to help out those affected by the cyclone.

Now, there's a big concert happening in Christchurch too, also raising funds for the cyclone. And we're joined by the MC, the wonderful Mike McRoberts. Kia ora, good... Kia ora, good morning. Morning. Yeah.

Kia ora. Lovely to have you. Atamaria. Lovely to have you on, Mike. How are you? I'm very well, thanks. Mike, we're on a golf cart. We're travelling the distance of the country,

1600km around Mount Smart Stadium. I know, that's outstanding, guys. I love it. I mean, we're all doing our best and we're trying to use our creative talents. You're on a golf cart. That's our talents. That's the extent of our talents, Mike.

To be honest, we'll probably crash it at some point. Yeah, but you are involved in something pretty awesome. It's happening in Christchurch on Friday night. Yeah, I am. It's Otatahi for Aotearoa and it's this wonderful fundraising concert

that's going on at the Christchurch Town Hall and it's, you know, it's a bit of serendipity really, isn't it? And I'll explain that word to you later, Jono, but you know what

happens in Christchurch back in the earthquake, but we know what happened in Christchurch back in the earthquake times and of course the Christchurch Town Hall was one of those very places that was devastated and so they've rebuilt it. It's a beautiful, beautiful venue, but for the people of Christchurch, Otatahi, I know that they'll want to jump on board this

and what a line-up. It is an amazing line-up. You've got Lord Neil Finn, Supergroove are going to be there. Marlon Williams. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's just a fantastic lineup and we're so thrilled.

And that's that industry, right? I mean, they just, they jump on board with things like this and they're just good buggers, eh? And they want to do something, they want to help and I love that.

And it is serendipity too. It is the gift of finding valuable and agreeable things. Oh, you've just looked it up. Not necessarily looked for there, Mike. But no, it is, and you're going to be hosting the whole thing, so I'm Gathering All Money Raise is going to go towards Red Cross? Yes, yes, that's right, same as you guys, and what a fabulous administrator of

a relief fund, the Red Cross. This is what they do and so we're really thrilled about that. How are you guys going with your driving? I mean, you know, who's sitting shotgun? Oh, look, most of the time Jono drives, I sit shotgun, but at some stage we're going to have to

have some breaks, so I guess I'm going to be in behind the wheel. I'm a very tentative driver, Mike. Now, Mike, can I confront you about something? Because, you know, you're fronting this concert, and the last time I saw you, we were sitting near each other at the Ed Sheeran concert, and you pulled me aside mid-concert. You said, come here.

Oh, yes. You said, come here, come here. And I was like, oh, Mike McRoberts wants to say something to me. Just so you know, you watch concerts like you're a cricket umpire. Now, I couldn't figure out, Mike, if that meant, jeez, I'm a

rock-solid, unflappable sort of guy or I'm so white and uncoordinated I'm scared to dance. You watch concerts with a level of intensity that you don't want to be associated with something that's not going to be fun and entertaining. You're looking for every little detail. But I like that.

That says a lot about you. I like to experience the whole thing. Oh, Mike, lovely to talk to you. We love catching up with you. And well done on what you're doing with all the great musicians on Friday night. Mi ga na kia koe, guys. Thank you so much. And good luck with your fundraiser, too.

It's the Jono and Ben podcast. This is day one of our charity drive, driving an easy-go golf cart around and around a loop here at Mount Smart Stadium, raising money for those affected by the terrible weather events over the last couple of weeks, giving it to the Red Cross. If you want to donate, you can text CYCLONE to 3493 to make an instant $3 donation. And thank you very much to, you know, it's not easy organising something like this.

Poor producer Humphrey. I know. He does it all himself. We keep asking for your help, and maybe it's because we're so useless he doesn't want us involved. Also, the wonderful people at Mount Smart, too. Now, there is a bar and restaurant here. Who knew? Lilyworld, it's called.

I've been there before on game day for the Warriors. It's great. Yeah, and it's open now, and the great team at Mount Smart have said the first three people to Lilyworld on the O'Rourke Road entrance, if they show the text that they've donated to the New Zealand Red Cross Disaster Relief Fund, they're going to get a $50 voucher. That's awesome. For Lily World. So you can head there now, first three people.

And, Ben, we are travelling the distance of New Zealand, 1,900 kilometres around Mount Smart Stadium, and we have noticed this morning this very aggressive bird in the grandstands yeah we got here this morning we're like wow the birds are going nuts yeah really like sort of a gang member type bird don't you come near me i'm ready to attack at any moment i think we recorded the audio well i know we recorded the audio but hopefully joel has it to play listen to it. Very, very noisy bird. Now, we've since learnt that that's just a recording that plays over the loudspeakers 24 hours a day here at Mousepire Stadium

to warn off other birds from nesting in the grandstands. And to keep off the field and stuff as well, to keep the grass looking precision. So, yeah. What a hack. What a great life hack. What a great life. Now, I've told you many times I've banged on about the bird problems

nesting in my roof, my corrugated iron roof. I could have that barking away for 24 hours on a loudspeaker outside my house. Get no birds. The birds would be gone. The neighbours would probably be gone too. Yeah. I imagine you'd be the only one in the family that would get to sleep during that. You could sleep in any conditions.

So there you go. If you've got bird problems, just, you know, turn up an obnoxiously loud bird bleeping away for 24 hours a day. Now we are driving around and around. It's about a 500-metre loop here at Mount Smart Stadium, and driving that for 1,600 kilometres is going to take us, I reckon, about 53 hours or so to drive the equivalent of the length of New Zealand.

And so as we're passing through, obviously we're not passing through towns and cities, but we would be if we were driving on the road. So we want to know if we're passing through your town, hypothetically, in the next couple of days, what's on? What could we stop on and see? We won't be able to, but what could we have? Yeah, technically, like if you're in, say, Te Awamutu, you could be like, hey, I'm giving birth tomorrow, guys. You can come and birth my baby with your bare hands. Yeah.

Yeah, we would do that. But we can't. But hypothetically, we could swing in and do it. Maybe you're starting a new job in Wellington. Hey, guys, you can swing in on my first day at work. And we could say we'll be in Wellington, say maybe Thursday night or something like that. Or Blenheim. Hey guys, I'm losing

my job. You can come in as my support people in my meeting. For inappropriate behaviour in the workplace. Something like that. This whole hypothetical stuff. So 0800 that. What's going on in your town over the next three days? What should we swing in and visit? You can give something a plug if you've got an event going.

You can use the radio to your advantage next. Take advantage of us driving a go-kart around and around Mount Smart, raising money for those affected by the cyclone. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. It's James Bay. It is The Hits. You've got Jono and Ben, 8.36, driving a golf cart around and around Mount Smart Stadium. We started, where, about 6 o'clock this morning.

We're driving over about two hours so far. You've just done the maths because it's a 500-meter loop around and around. We're about 120 k's into our journey. Just gone through Kaitaia. So a big kia ora and hello to the fine people of Kaitaia. You have a wonderful town. And we keep driving past the warriors who are training in a gym. Oh, no.

The doors are open. I know. And every time you, like, look in, because I know you're a huge fan. Is it a bit weird that I keep looking in? It is a weird. I'm like, oh, there's John Johnson. There's OU Harris. But it's every lap.

And you're, like, staring in, like, some sort of crazy way. I kind of just want them to look over and wave and smile at me, but they're in the middle of their training and stuff. It would be like if we were doing radio and someone just came up to the window, the studio window, and just stared. Yeah. How would you feel about that?

Yeah, you're right. Uncomfortable. Okay, I won't even look this time. Yeah, but it does smell good. You can feel bodies, the odour of just the Warriors smelling out of that gymnasium. Fantastic stuff. It's our year, it's our year, guys.

It's our year. You must be quite aroused right now, are you? All right. Yeah, a little bit. But we are, as Ben mentioned, travelling hypothetically through the country. And if we're swinging through your town, hypothetically, over the next three or four days, however long this takes,

what shall we pop in and do? Let's go to the phones. We'll start it with you in Taranaki. Emily, welcome. Morning, boys. How are you, Emily? Great to have you on, Emily. I imagine sort of late tomorrow afternoon, early evening,

we might be swinging through New Plymouth. What's going on? We've got Americana happening. So it's a big collection of classic American cars and they go all over Taranaki, do all sorts of events. It's so much fun. How would they feel about a classic New Zealand easy-go

golf cart coming in? Sure, they'll incorporate you, put some American flags on it and you'll be good to go, mate. Now please tell me, from the cockles of my punny heart and Ben's punny heart, that Americano, you really accentuate the car.

Have you got that in capitals? We do, actually. Yes, good. Well, it would be a crime upon puns if you didn't. It did seem like a 12 font for the rest of it, maybe that went up to a 24 or something to really emphasise the car.

That's what I'm thinking anyway. Sounds impressive. Where can people check it out if they're in Taranaki over the next couple of days? All right, so they've got a big event in Englewood. I'm pretty sure it is tomorrow. Always up to no good in Englewood. And then they'll do a drive-through.

They'll go around the mountain through Stratford, Kauponga, Openackee, Hawara, and then back up into New Plymouth. Oh, good on you, Emily. Well, make sure you check out Americano, and we will pop in too. Yeah, we'll be there tomorrow afternoon sometime. All going well.

Have a great couple of days. Perfect. Good on you, Emily. Let's get Chris on. Welcome. We're swinging through your town. Chris, what's going on? What do you need us to come and do?

Oh, good. I'm in a bit of a spot. I've got to take my car in for a warrant of fitness. So around the 700-kilometre mark, it should be around Timaru. I was wondering if you could give me a ride back to work. Absolutely. Why wouldn't we? No worries. Yeah, hypothetically, of course.

You know, what time do you want to pick us up? Where are we picking up from there, Chris? Well, if you just come past about 11.30, Showgrounds Auto Services in Timaru there, you won't even have to stop, mate. I won't hold you up. I'll just leap on the back. Jump on the back of the Easy Go Golf cart. We'll take you home.

No worries, mate. We'll even take you back again when your car's ready to pick up. Okay, matey. See you then. So good. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. You're on The Hits, Jono and Ben, on our charity drive around Mount Smart Stadium,

raising money for those affected by the cyclone. We're going to say this a lot over the next couple of days, but you can text cyclone to 3493. Just a $3 donation will go a long way to helping out the Red Cross, help out those affected. Now, speaking of going a long way, we're going to go 1,900 kilometres on this thing. 1,900? I thought 1,600.

Sorry, 1,600 kilometres. You can keep going for 1,900. I'm done at 1,600. Yeah, I thought I might plough on through the weekend as well, mate. How much do you want to raise? To Stewart Island as well. Yeah, I thought you wanted to raise some money for charity. But, Ben, you're just reminiscing about a grandstand here at Mount Smart Stadium where you had a catastrophic event happen. Yeah,

so I'm a big fan of the Warriors, as you'll know, all morning. You failed to mention it about 300 times. I've seen a lot of the Warriors players this morning, so I'm very excited. But one of the stands that we're about to drive past now, the very high one, it's got some seats up the top, as

stands do. You're probably well aware how a seating system would work at a stand. But I was at a Warriors game with my wife Amanda and I was carrying a drink, like a thing of four drinks and a couple of hot dogs in one stand. It was a bit wet, wet conditions. And I was at the top looking for our seats.

We couldn't find it. Pack Stadium. And I slipped down the stairs looking for our seats. We couldn't find it. Pack Stadium. And I slipped down the stairs. And on my back, down probably, as you'd see at the top, probably like 20, 30 stairs on the back. Miraculously, I didn't spill my drinks or the hot dogs. It was a miracle moment. But everyone in the stand was looking at me. I was highly embarrassed.

This is your worst nightmare. You hate to cause a scene. And my wife is just like, all right, we can just get going. Just go. Because she knew I was highly embarrassed. This is your worst nightmare. You hate to cause a scene. And my wife is just like, all right, we can just get going. Just go. Because she knew I was embarrassed. So I was like,

yeah, let's get out of here. Took my next step and then I slipped again down the second line of stairs. And that's when the drinks fell all over me. The hot dogs went everywhere.

The stand was like, oh, you're a loser. Look at this loser. And then I had to walk my way out of the stadium. Well, I feel so sorry for you. If you've got that footage, oh, you're a loser, look at this loser. And then I had to walk my way out of the stadium. Well, I feel so sorry for you. If you've got that footage, actually, send it through.

We'll post it onto our social media. And speaking of which, we'll be on our social media too, The Hits Breakfast, after 9 o'clock, covering this expedition we are on. I'll even do some spicy stuff on OnlyFans as well, featuring the golf cart too, if you want to join us. We reckon it's going to take us somewhere around 53 hours or so, judging by the speed we're going in the golf cart

and the loop that we're doing. So we are going to need your help on social media later to keep us through, to keep us going as we do this thing, to raise money for those affected. You have yourself a great day. We'll be right here at Mount Smart. We'll catch you tomorrow.