Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: WE BROKE A WORLD RECORD!

Episode Date: September 15, 2022

Today on the Jono and Ben podcast we recap the Traffic Light Tour! we have a chat with Poland... and we find out weird ways you met your partner! Enjoy.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with a bonus podcast from Jono and Ben. Kia ora, welcome, good morning, good afternoon, or wherever you are in the current time zone that you currently are in. I won't get into a whole lot of time zones because people listen to this at different times. They do actually, we appreciate you listening to the podcast today. Last night we went and broke the world record, didn't we? Yeah, most amount of traffic lights, drinks, the children's drink, raspberry cordial, orange juice and green, food colouring on the top. We did that 57 times over, and it's really the novelty wore off, probably about four deep.

Yeah, now you say the most amount of traffic light drinks. The technical record was the most amount of pubs visited in 24 hours because I think as adults the most amount of traffic light drinks, maybe one. Oh, we've smashed that. We've got that. I wouldn't imagine too many adults had of traffic light drinks, maybe one. Oh, we've smashed that. We've got that. I wouldn't imagine too many adults that had multiple traffic light drinks

over a 24-hour period. In one session, no. That's a safe record, yeah. Like, even one for an adult is probably one too many. You would say, some people, some bars would say we'd have an alcoholic version of us.

But that was the other thing. Paul, why don't you pour in vodka in this? Because, mate, if we went and had vodka traffic light drinks at 57, we would be shells of human beings one of the funniest things uh last night was well because we were trying to be quite efficient because obviously we're trying to get through this we know we've got a radio show the next day we've got 57 places to get through so we got to a stage where like hey why doesn't producer b humps go to the next bar order our drinks our traffic lights and then we can you know we can have the traffic light in that one bar and then go to the next bar and

it'll be kind of closer to being ready for us. We can have a chat, do some social, drink the drinks and then carry on. But just passing B-Humps on the road, he was our Colonel Tom Parker, wasn't he? From like Elvis going, yeah, your drinks are on the bar, you know, you just walk past and go, two drinks on the bar. Yeah, then he'd be off to the next one. Yeah. He was like some sort of

fix it person I know like covering up a bender like hiding all of the shenanigans we were up to paying people off

along the way and the best one was when he called me I called him I was like oh we didn't know where he was I just called him

he picked up lime bar lime bar drinks on the bar then he'd walk off to the next one John has been seriously

lime bar all business he was all business all business last night so you can catch a lot of the fun and adventure of that on the podcast this morning. But you wanted to know on the podcast intro this morning, where in the world are we being listened to?

Yeah, well, Producer Joel, you said something in passing yesterday and said our Polish numbers through the roof. Polish numbers are through the roof. Yeah, I was looking at the analytics and I can't see all of them, but I have come to a site. We're 239th in comedy podcasts in Poland.

In Poland. In Poland. Gee, that's good. That's better than the New Zealand rankings. Yeah, it probably is. I've got a few other, yeah, a few international ones. So is it our best of the international market?

I'm not too sure. I can, on Monday, I can crunch some numbers over the weekend. I feel like that could be a little side mission for our show to try and get to the number one somewhere else

that's not New Zealand yeah that's a great New Zealand's probably gone for us yeah well let's get that horse's boulders you've got Fletch Vaughan and Hayley's Joe Rogan's

yeah a lot of people but why don't we get to number one in Poland for example for comedy podcasts yeah it could be it could be Australia

I know there's a big market Hamish and Andy no no no too big too big if you look at the reviews you got five stars you can take the Aussie out of New Zealand

but you can't take the New Zealand out of Aussie I live in New Zealand and I'm back home in Aussie I'm sorry I used to live I absolutely love them on TV

love them on the radio this reminds me of home I'm a Kiwi living in Aussie so funny and silly I'm a Kiwi living in Sydney five stars all around five stars five stars great right again click like and subscribe get on get on board the podcast all you guys I'm a Kiwi living in Aussie. So funny and silly. I'm a Kiwi living in Sydney. Five stars all around.

Five stars. Five stars. Great. Click like and subscribe. Get on board the podcast. You guys already are. You're listening to it. But like Ben said, though, there's some fantastic broadcasting in Australia.

Too good for us. Yeah. I don't think we can penetrate their market. Colin, Jackie, Jersey, Wepa. Yeah. Who, sorry? Germany.

We ran into a German fan. Germany? Yeah. My peer in Germany. She was like, I loved your guys' TV show. We're like, well, it's going to be bad news for you. She was up to season number three.

So let's go through to Poland and say, hey, guys, guess who's on the phone? Because they'll be like, oh, no. Is that the two of us? I don't know if that's going to be there. Is that the two of us? Yeah, but we can call. I know what's going to happen here, but I'm happy to sit here and prolong the podcast and just do that.

So Marriott, we're going to go through to the Warsaw Marriott Hotel in Poland. You know what's going to happen here. Which is currently offering free stay for all Ukrainian refugees. The Marriott in Warsaw. That is wonderful. So we'll just go through. Zelensky read the news this morning in a car crash. He's okay.

But it was overnight. God, he'll be like, jeez. That's the last thing I need. What, quite a serious car crash car crash. He's okay, but it was overnight. God, he'll be like, jeez, that's the last thing I need. What, quite a serious car crash? I think he's okay, but yeah, but it was just,

yeah. Okay, here we go. 0048, Joel. We can just... We call him, we put our phone in. Yeah, 0048. Do I need to put a one

at the start? Nah, just be a 00, baby. 22. 630. 6306. So we're going to go through to the Warsaw Marat in Poland here. Ben, I know what you're expecting from this phone call, but imagine if they're like,

I listened to that. Yeah. Imagine. I'm actually not too sure if this is calling. It'll take all pollings a while away, man. It'll just take a little while. Just let the international phone sit. You guys, you're so gen Z.

What are you, gen Z? What are you? You're like, mate, just go get it now. No, I know. He's right. He's right. Do we have another number? Any other number?

0048 22 630 6306 If you're listening from Poland as well Maybe give us a dial Give us a bell Maybe we don't have calling credit To get over to Poland

Yeah Are you on the hotline? Nah Try the hotline Get on the hotline? Nah. Try the hotline. Get on the hotline. Yeah. There we go. 00

Sorry, it's disappeared. 0048 22 630 6306 We'll leave all that in the podcast as well. That's cool. That's the content that people have to know.

Here we go. Going through now. Jesus, continuous ring, isn't it? It's a big ring. Here we go. Joel, you had no faith in the international. 11pm in Warsaw, that's the only problem. That's a hotel, though.

Hotel would be... Jeez, are we getting a demonstration of every phone ring known to telecommunications all in one phone call? A wide variety of... Welcome to the... Hello there. Have we got hold of Poland? Hello, how can I help you?

Hi there. It's Jono and Ben. I'm sorry? Jono and Ben, we're 230th on the comedy podcast charts in Poland. We're from the radio in New Zealand. We sit at 230. I think I can't understand. Oh, you can't?

Do you listen to our podcast? No. I'm sorry. Oh, that's okay. That's okay. But some people do. Oh, there's another ring from the... We've gone through the range of options you can listen to on the phone,

and that's the one where the person's left the phone call. And enough. And that's exactly what I thought. Well, maybe we're not as popular in Poland as I thought. Yeah, all right, enjoy the podcast. New Zealand's most successful unsuccessful show. Jono and Ben on the hit. We had a big day yesterday, you might have seen it.

Speaking of lights. Yeah, yeah, the traffic light system is... Sorry, I was a bit late on the hits. We had a big day yesterday. You might have seen it. Speaking of lights. Yeah, yeah. The traffic light system. Sorry, I was a bit late on that time. Yeah. So the traffic light system, we obviously know it. We had it through COVID to protect New Zealand. That's what it was designed to do.

Suddenly Jacinda Ardern decided to get rid of it. It was gone. Monday afternoon, it was gone. She ended it. And it was abrupt. There was no sort of, hey, thanks, traffic light system. You did us well, even though most of us didn't understand what you were you're a big part of our lives there's none of that none of that emotional connection she's like

midnight's over uh and that and that's it just disappeared from our lives forever been even though we didn't know we were still in it it just it was ripped away from us pulled from underneath i wasn't happy about that i could tell and And so I found there was a guy overseas who had set the record, the world record for the most pubs visited in 24 hours. Now, he had 56 pubs. He went around there in Wales, and he had to get one drink. Obviously, he didn't drink alcoholic drinks because that's too many drinks, but he just had to get one drink and have them in each of the bars.

I was like, we could do this. We could go to 57 pubs or bars and get a traffic light. The kids drink. Yeah, that's what we did last year. Now, most people don't even know what they are nowadays. It's disappeared from the zeitgeist. Explain it. So you've got raspberry cordial on the bottom.

You have orange juice in the middle. And then on the top is green food colouring resembling a traffic light. Now, yesterday we went on a mission to have 57 of these at 57 different bars and restaurants, and I must say that I've had seven lifetimes worth of traffic light drinks. I could die today and reincarnate six other times, and each of those times I'll be like, I'm good for my entire life. I'm with you.

But it was a heck of an adventure walking around the city, driving around, trying to go to 57 pubs or bars to order Traffic Lights in locations and drink it. And what a wild ride it was. Jono and Ben's Traffic Light Tour. 57 Traffic Light drinks. 57 venues. One world record.

Traffic. Here we are, bar number one, Pilkington's Jan has really set the bar high In the bar Yeah, we're in a bar Alright, cheers This is, well, we're garnishing all sorts Yeah, that's a travel bar

Oh mate What part of that did you regret? Every part of it. Now you just want to know what we're doing? Yes. Yes, so we're having 57 traffic light drinks to commemorate the end of the traffic light system. Amazing. Hang on, you say amazing now, but what did you say just before?

Well, I asked why I want you to add vodka to it. And we said because that's not a true traffic light, and then you said... It's very sad. Yeah, yeah. We are very sad. We are very sad. I didn't say you're sad, it's just the drink, like, add some spice to it, you know?

And my lip's very green. Yes, that's kind of terrifying, to be honest. No offense. Yeah, no, well, there's a lot... Don't take it. To be honest, a lot of offense taken. Don't take it with me. Hi Chloe, how are you?

Good, how are you? What do you reckon of my green mouth? Blah! It looks fantastic. It looks... Oh, I'm probably the same though, am I? Yeah, you're the same. Yeah, you're the same.

I shouldn't have kissed him before. Oh, yeah. Oh, thanks, now. Do you want one with us? Do you want one? No. No, okay, Oh, thanks, Sam. Do you want one with us? Do you want one?

No. No, okay, okay, fine. Not if your mouth turns out like that. Yeah, yeah. Number 57. This is it. We're doing it. Cheers.

We did it for you, Old Town O'er. Did anyone want us to do it? No, but we did it anyway. Finally, the traffic light system has been put to bed. And we won't be going to bed because there was so much sugar pumping through our veins. Well done. World record. So there it was.

57 pubs to break the world record for the most amount of bars or pubs visited in 24 hours. We did it. The All Blacks had a victory last night. We had a victory last night. This is a great day for Old Taro and Ben We apologise in advance Jeez, sorry Sorry about that Sorry you got roped into this

Jono and Ben Sorry On the hits Not very good for your oral hygiene, isn't it? Waking up, brushing your teeth with a bottle of I did that in front of her, actually I interviewed her not long after that song Over in Vegas

And I pulled out a little bottle I'm going for it, pro comedy Sorry, I just haven't brushed my teeth this morning I interviewed her not long after that song over in Vegas, and I pulled out a little bottle of something. Go on, from comedy. Sorry, I just haven't brushed my teeth this morning. I pulled out a little bottle of Jack Daniels. You know, she laughed politely along with it. Did she appreciate it? This is the eighth time.

She probably appreciated the effort I'd gone to to bring a little bottle of Jack. What's it like brushing your teeth with Jack? I wouldn't recommend it, to be honest. Nine out of ten dentists don't recommend brushing teeth. But I committed to the gag and that's what I did. But yesterday we committed to another gag. Also bad for our teeth. Yeah it was actually. We went around and drank 57

traffic lights, the children's drink and 57 bars or pubs around the city to break the world record. 57 is what was over a 24 hour period. And this was to commemorate and pay homage, tribute to the wonderful traffic light system, the framework, as you mentioned, Ben,

that took us through a dark couple of years there. The framework no one understood, could be bothered learning about, or even knew was still in play. For a while there I felt like it did, and then it just got away on me. So yeah, we got the world record. We did it yesterday.

And there's haters. Always with the haters. Yeah, we knew that would happen, We did it yesterday. And there's haters. Always with the haters. Yeah, we knew that would happen, right? We've got a celebrity hater. What are you doing? Marcus Lush. We love Marcus Lush. Respected broadcaster, host of the Newstalk ZB night show,

number one night show in Aotearoa. Marcus Lush is complaining. And he joins us from Invercargill now. Hey guys, how are you all? Oh, we're doing all right. It's nice to hear your voice. Yeah, but you're hypocrites, eh? You guys are total hypocrites.

What? The biggest this, New Zealand that, getting around this, biggest traffic like pub crawl. Basically, you and a couple of mates wandering around in this little Auckland. It's lame. Oh, I know. This is coming straight from Bluff. Yeah, from Invercargill from South. It's lame.

You say you're doing these things, you say, oh, we're getting around out there with the people, but actually, it's just very rude. And people hate you for it. Oh, we need this honesty in our life, Marcus Lush. We do. Well, I'm going to call it like it is. What you guys need to do is you need to get yourselves down to Invercargill.

It's a long way, Marcus. You know this. It doesn't matter. The people need you. You need to get down here. Get down to the people? I mean, you're running for mayor, aren't you, down there? That's right.

That's right. It's all on. Voting forms out today. Voting forms. Now, are you going to be busy? Oh, you need to be. Want something done, ask a busy person. It's all in my life. Oh, really? How's that sound? Is that convincing? That sounds very convincing. We need to get want something don't ask a busy person draw them alive

really how's that sound that convincing that sounds very convincing we need to get out to Invercargill I mean I'm sure we can plan that

at some stage it'll be nice to get down Monday we'll be there Monday Marcus don't say Monday John I'm going to hold you to it if you don't I'm going to hunt you down okay

Monday we're coming to Invers we need to see Marcus on his mural campaign as well come down can we officially launch your mural campaign on Monday? Of course, we can officially end it if you like.

It's just about over. You can buy me a traffic light and we'll close it all down. Okay, great. We'll get Marcus a traffic light drink. Monday we'll be there. Copy. Hold you to it. Love you, Marcus.

See you. Marcus, I feel like you've just booked us to go to Amber Cargill on Monday, but be there. Copy. Hold you to it. Love you, Marcus. See you. Marcus, I feel like you've just booked us to go to Invercargill on Monday, but all right. Thanks, guys. See you, mate. Bye. Are we going to Invercargill Monday? Monday, mate.

It's happening. But we haven't. Well, this is not for us to organise. Poor producer Humphrey now has to stress out about getting some grab-a-seat flights. All right. Well, we might be in Invercargill on Monday. We'll let you know by the end of the show if we're going to be there. But yeah, okay.

With the people, Ben. With the people. Like Marcus said, the people hate us. The people hate us. We knew that already. We need to turn the tide on the people. If you're a guy here for romantic advice, you are in serious trouble. John Owen Bean on the hits.

Now, Tinder today is 10 years old. 10 years ago today, Tinder was released. 530 million downloads of the app. 530 million downloads. I remember when online dating first became a thing and it was sort of taboo. A little bit of society kind of frowned. Oh, look at your loser finding partners online.

But now it's the thing. Yeah, it's the thing. Now people don't know how to interact face to face. 190 countries Tinder has been downloaded in and 75 billion matches. How's that? 75 billion matches over 10 years. Many, many relationships, as you say,

have started from Tinder. Yeah, and also many unplanned pregnancies. A whole lot of stuff. Many people trying to escape dates. Yeah. A whole documentary on Netflix about a guy swindling people as well. You know, a lot of stuff has come from Twinder. Thank you, Tim. Twinder. Made a new app up. Tinder. Yeah. A whole documentary on Netflix about a guy swindling people as well. You know, a lot of stuff has come from Twinder.

Thank you, Tim. Twinder. Made a new app up. Tinder. Yeah. Yeah, maybe Twinder is like if you like being swindled. You like the danger and the thrill of someone maybe ripping you off. Yeah.

Are they the legit or not? Yeah. So we spoke to Marissa yesterday. Now, this was a really interesting phone call of how she met her partner. She was also online, not Tinder, though. She was in Texas at the time, and they were playing a game, her and this New Zealand guy were playing a game online

called Clash of Clans. You might have seen an ad for it on TV. Have a listen. I was in Texas, and he's in Auckland, and recruited Elliot, who was at the time number two in New Zealand. So I was pretty stoked. They would have impressed you.

Yeah. But then you found out how small New Zealand was. You're like, ah. Well, New Zealand was on my radar. So we played together for a few years. And my partner in Texas and I split up. And Elliot told me he'd liked me for years and wanted me to come check him out. So he sent me a plane ticket in 2015, came and visited,

and then I moved in 2016. What? From Texas? Just from playing Clash of Clans, you've ended up from Texas in Taranaki? Yes, and we have, as of today, a four-year-old. Oh, wow. A story made in Clan heaven Oh no sorry I shouldn't say that really

But then I was detained by customs On my way through and they thought That he was trying to get me to bring drugs Into the country Oh really? It just keeps getting better and better Yeah so I was In customs for a few hours and he thought I saw him

And turned around But no I about knocked him over when I finally was I was in customs for a few hours and he thought I saw him and turned around. But no, I about knocked him over when I finally was released out of the tainty spot or whatever. What a beautiful love story. And I'm glad it's all working out in rural New Zealand. You've gone from rural America and Texas to rural New Zealand here. Oh, actually, I had to come all the way to little New Zealand to become a hillbilly because I was from Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex, which has about 6 million people. I'm now in a town of 1,000.

It's just really downscaled. So there we go. If you can beat that, we thought we'd open up the lines again. How did you meet your partner? Yeah, 0800THETHATS is the phone number, 4487 on the text. Celebrating 10 years of Tinder. Are we celebrating it or are we just... I guess so.

Just a couple of dads screaming on the sidelines of their kids' sports games. Jono and Ben on the hits. Women's Rugby World Cup starts October 8th in less than a month. Can't wait for that to be in New Zealand. It's going to be huge. The Black Ferns are awesome. And joining us is one of the stars from the Black Ferns, Kendra Cox-Edge. She's part of a new Rexona campaign. all about being, you're not done yet.

Now, Kendra, you're not done yet. Yeah, we're not done yet, and I'm not done yet. Obviously, I've just announced my retirement from rugby, but I've got a lot to give back to the game through either coaching or through my job. So you're not going to like a Ryman rest home or anything like that with like other retirees? Not yet. A few years away from that I'm only next week mate

I'm booked in. It seems like a really cool campaign to be part of because it's all about you know people getting out there, getting active and it can change a lot not only physically but also mentally for a lot of people Yeah and I think you know that's over half of New Zealanders that don't meet the ministry of health, movement of

two and a half hours a week. You know, and that's quite scary, right? Like, just thinking that people... Are you saying I'm meant to be moving two and a half hours a week? Yeah. Two and a half hours? I'm sure you can do that. It's easy. It's not just your mouth, too. Your mouth doesn't count. His mouth's definitely moving more than that. Now, the Black Ferns now, you're thinking everything's

sort of moving in the right direction? It's moving at a good pace or a slow pace? It's moving in the right direction. It's moving at a slow pace though, like I think. Well, it's kind of, some things are moving slow, some things are moving fast, but it's exciting from, like, obviously where the game has come from and where it is now and in the future

it's just going to continue to grow and move. Yeah, because you've been, Black Ferns, obviously the World Cup coming up as well, but you've been pretty much 16 years, is that right? Yeah. In that side, I mean, you've won World Cups, you've been in Black Ferns, obviously the World Cup coming up as well, but you've been pretty much 16 years, is that right? Yeah. In that side. I mean, you've won World Cups, you've achieved your Player of the Year worldwide, you've done so much.

But how much has the game changed in general, you know, being a woman rugby player in New Zealand over the last 16 years? Yeah, it's evolved heaps. Like, you know, I remember even just when I first made the team, we had a couple of coaches, a manager um and a trainer and that was about it and now it's some halftime oranges yeah and now we've got like a nutritionist you know media manager like the resource team behind it now is is really special and we're getting more tests a year we used to play one or two and now there's going to be seven or eight a year and you know

it's on tv more and so young the younger generation coming through can see that you know women play rugby and that it's okay that girls play rugby. That's awesome. I don't want to say they're more consistent than the men's side too. But at the moment, yes. So you just played your 100th game and final game for Canterbury over the weekend. I was looking at the stats. 21 points you scored in your final game.

Yeah, greedy. Yeah, kick, full penalties, two conversions, scored a try. You guys won the title for the fifth and sixth year. So probably a disappointing way to go out for you, really. Not a lot going on that game. But it must be awesome to have your final game. And Richie McCaw, you texted him and he came along and gave everyone their jerseys. Yes, that was pretty cool that Richie came in and presented our jerseys the morning of.

It's pretty special to have someone like he's the GOAT. So having him just in the room, he kind of said to me, oh, you know, what should I talk about? And I was like, whatever you like. It's just your presence. It's just your presence in the room. The girls of said to me, oh, you know, what should I talk about? And I was like, whatever you like. It's just your presence. It's just your presence in the room. The girls are going to be blown away. But, yeah, to finish my Canterbury career, you know, 100th game,

winning the Farah Palmer Cup final again, and just, yeah, just bizarre. Scored 21 points. It was pretty special and just a good way to end it with my family there as well. I hope they didn't tell the other team, hey, let Kendra score 21 points. I reckon maybe that's what happened, points. I reckon that's what happened. I reckon that's what happened. I scored an intercept try and I reckon one of the wingers gave up because she was like, oh, we'll let her

have it. When you play rugby, I always wonder this, are you thinking about other stuff that's not rugby? Which are in the game, you mean? Yeah, like, oh, I've got to go fill the car up, petrol, or do things like that pop into your mind? Because it's a long time. Yeah, no, you're right. You don't.

You're in the moment. Great question, though. Oh, but honestly, there's a lot of things that do go through your mind, but probably more rugby related. You're like, have I got gas? Yeah, or knocked it on, and then you're telling yourself you're not good enough. So changing that mindset. And we talk about having little negative trains that pop in

and replacing them with a positive one. So it's just, yeah, you don't really think about if you need to little negative trains that pop in and replacing them with a positive one. So, you know, so it's just, yeah, you don't really think about if you need to fill your car up or what you're having for dinner. I mean, that's just more logistic stuff. Yeah, that's something. I'm sure there's, like, a team bus and stuff like that. But the Women's World Cup, we're very excited about that. It's happening in New Zealand.

It's not long to go. And some amazing acts are going to be there as well. Not just on the field, but, you know, you've got Rita Ora, you've got Shapeshifter, you've got Benny. It's going to be cool. Yeah, that's really special. That got announced, obviously, a couple of weeks ago. Because we didn't know either, and we saw them. I was like, whoa, that's pretty cool.

And then we're like, as players, we're like, do we get to see that as players? Mate, how long have you been playing rugby? You definitely deserve to see Rita Ora. That's for sure. All right, just before you go, Rita Ora is coming. I'm going to put you guys on the spot. Jono versus Kendra.

Rita Ora quiz. Is it a multiple choice? We'll see how they go. What do you mean for a Rita Ora quiz? No, that's a multiple choice. I'll see how you go, Rita Ora is coming. I'll put you guys on the spot. Jono versus Kendra. Rita Ora quiz. There's a multiple choice. We'll see how we go. You're preparing for a Rita Ora quiz? No, that's a multiple choice. I'll see how you go. You prepared for a Rita Ora quiz? No, you work in music radio.

You should be fine with this one. This is not on rugby. I thought, well, let's make it. Let's even the playing field. Rita Ora. It's quite a random quiz for poor Kendra to take part in. Where was she born, Rita Ora? Do you answer if you know the answer?

Otherwise, I'll go through some multiple choices as well. Kosovo. Croatia. Well done, Kosovo. Yeah, see, there if you know the answer? Otherwise, I'll go through some multiple choices as well. Kosovo. Croatia. Kosovo, yeah. See, there you go, Kendra. Yeah, there you go. She's got the first one. Okay, Rita Ora owns...

He's giving you the answers. No, Rita Ora owns more than 150 pairs of what? Shoes. Oh, jeez, you got it right. Runners, runners. I'm going specific. Are you going heels? Yes.

Are you going heels? I was just going, what? Are you going shoes? Are you going string shoes? No, sorry, I'm going to take Kendra for that one as well Are you going heels? I was just going, are you going shoes? Are you going string shoes? No, I'm sorry, I'm going to take Kendra for that one as well. Okay, Rita Ora puts what

in her banana sandwich? I don't know, Kendra. You tell us, Kendra, what's on the best paper in front of you? Tabasco. Yeah. Yeah, lovely to see you

and all the best for the World Cup and this amazing campaign you're part of for Rexona. Awesome, thank you very much. Keep up the great work. Cheers. Jono and Ben, the bold and the beautiful on the hits. Note, may not be beautiful.

This gives you how the All-American rejects it is, the hits. You've got Jono and Ben, 8-14. We want to know this morning, how you met your partner on our 100, the hits. Celebrating 10 years of Tinder, Ben. We are celebrating, you're right. Yeah. Do you know, I was looking at between 8 and 9pm, most people on Tinder. If you want to get the peak hour traffic.

All right. Producer Joel, you're saying you and your current partner met through Tinder? Sort of, yeah. We didn't actually go on a date or anything on Tinder, but it sort of cut out the awkward phase of, yes, we were both keen on each other because we matched on tinder and then you met at a party yeah so yeah we already knew each other and then we saw each other at a party but like hey we've already cut out the first step we've got mutual interests yeah we're like oh it's yeah that does help a lot doesn't it it is yeah i guess tinder is like the best wingman yeah you could ask for just cuts that awkward stage out

yeah because it's like when i said to ben i was like is there something going on between us and he's like uh no i was like oh you've been sending signals you're like no i've just been turning up to work every day at the same time yeah uh so we would have cut out that bit if we had you're right that all goodness would have saved that conversation we'll get karen on from tauranga How did you meet your partner, Kazza? Well, we were on a Facebook singles page. I saw his profile, knew where he lived, which was miles away. He saw mine and didn't realise where I lived, sent me a message. Pretty much a month later of full-on chatting to each other,

I jumped on a plane from Tauranga, landed in Christchurch and met him. And I was with him. The first date was five days long. That's a long first date. That's really dragging the chain. Took me to Tekapo for the weekend. It was just beautiful. So that's a big leap though, isn't it?

Jumping on a plane, having not met the person. But it's awesome. It worked out. It worked out. It worked out. I did have a mutual friend, so I knew I was safe and, yeah, had backup. You knew you were safe,

but what if he was a dud? Like if you're like, oh, I've committed to five days with this guy. Oh, I've left the oven on at home. I'd better get back

to the airport. Because, you know, a lot of the times there is that play where you're like, hey, you call me at this certain time and if I say this thing, you pretend there's an emergency.

You didn't have that option. You're stuck there five days. Oh, no, I did a little bit. I did a little bit. Yeah. Always got the option available. Now, where is he located? Is he Christchurch?

Is he? He's actually in Ashburton. Are you still dating? Yeah, five months later. Tauranga and Ashburton. That is a big, long distance. Yeah. Yeah, lots of plane trips.

New Zealand must be loving you. You're pulling them back out of there. Yeah, Kieran Foran's like, oh, thank goodness. Kieran or is it Greg? Yeah, Kieran Foran's a good lead player. Kieran Foran is a fantastic lead player, but not so great at running airlines. Thank you, Kieran.

Really appreciate your time. No problem. Thank you. How'd you meet your partner this morning, Anita? How did you meet yours? My mother used to date his father. They never got married, though, so we're not related. All right.

So hang on. So your mother, his father, and are they still together? No. Oh, you said used to, so I'm guessing not. No. No, they broke up before we got married married but that's how we met is through your parents dating yeah so were you like when they were dating oh this is a forbidden love we can't well you could but then it's kind of like questions would be asked well according to some people yeah

and we've got a bit of a hard time um Oh, you're dating your step-sister. Oh, but then they broke up and you're like, hey, their relationship didn't work out, but yours did? Yeah, and 30-odd years later, it still is. Oh, that's beautiful, isn't it? Were they odd years or just normal ones? The first few were odd. Now that's good.

Oh, what a wonderful way. How awkward was the wedding with your parents who had broken up? Well, yeah, it was my mum, his dad, but they both had new partners by then, so it was all good. Good on you. What a great way. Well, what a way to meet your partner. You can date me odd, yeah. Yeah, now, Ben, because you're in that situation.

Could you imagine yourself? Well, I'm not going to say not. In my current situation, no, because I'm yeah remove the marriage yeah but i mean marriage but there's nothing would you say there's nothing would you date your step sister well not in the year like as you say in this scenario nothing is wrong with it there is nothing wrong with the scenario no but in your scenario you take your wife out of the way oh no no, what are you doing? That's not going there, that's not going there. It would have been odd

if my mum and his dad had got married as well, but they didn't, so you know. But again, still not illegal. No, no.

No, no, still not illegal, but it would have made for small family get-togethers. Yeah, but definitely a story on like a daytime talk show

or something, but not illegal. Need help. Hey, good on you Anita, that's really cool. Thank you very much for your time. No problem have a great day. You too mate. Thanks so much

for your calls and texts. Next are we world record holders? Did we break a world record yesterday? Well we'll find out next it is the hits. The hits has you covered for Friday at work with more of the hits. If you don't want two guys talking at you all morning, too late they're here. Jono and more of the hits. If you don't want two guys talking at you all morning, too late.

They're here. Jono and Ben on the hits. Now the Queen's funeral is Monday night, New Zealand time. We've seen the footage on the TV. Thousands and thousands of people waiting to pay their respects. And one of them is a Kiwi by the name of Kim who joins us right now from the line. Kim, good morning. How are you?

Yeah, good. Just coming up to Tower Bridge now. You're at the back of the line waiting to see the queen uh how long is the line so far we've heard it's about seven and a half hours from our point into the actual room so it's around about eight kilometers uh fully stretched right now what the line is about eight kilometers yeah the line is about eight kilometers long now like you would have started near the front of the line and just kept walking to find the back of it that would have taken you

a while yeah it took about an hour and a half to get from uh just after halfway down to the end of the queue again i've said i said it to you last time we spoke i appreciate the queen her service but i'm getting to the 1k mark and going I'm out yeah but you've gone all the way back seven and a half kilometers although you're saying it's a seven hour wait which is quite a quick turnaround yeah you know when you think about it they're getting them through quick yeah definitely we're moving at quite a pace down the queue so that's that's always a plus we haven't really stopped for too long so what are people doing in the line because I imagine it's not really you can't really bring a chair and sit down or

sort of, yeah, what can you do? Not much really. I know there's a few pubs up and down that have got takeaway pints on the go. Oh, great. But then you find yourself in a situation where you need to do it, so you can't get out of the line because your bladder's going to get filled up. Yeah, well, they've got a wristband system in

place now, so I've just got my orange wristband, which means I can leave the queue for up to an hour and a half. And then I've got to find the people I just queued with and get back in. Oh, that's a good idea. So an hour and a half gives you a little bit of time to go get something to eat, to go to the bathroom and then come back? Yeah, absolutely. Get a little power nap in if you can.

Now I'm looking at the longest lines in history, okay? There's a countdown of the longest lines in history. Number one up until this point has been the first McDonald's opening in history. Okay? There's a countdown of the longest lines in history. Number one up until this point has been the first McDonald's opening in Russia. Oh, how long was that line? In 1990.

And that went for five kilometres. So this is bigger than that. This is now the longest line that they served 30,000 burgers that day. Wow. She's your part

of the longest line in history. History has been made there. You're part of the longest line. And how. History has been made there. You're part of the longest line. And how long are you prepared to wait the next eight hours? Oh, I've got to see how I go. I'm meant to have a PT session at seven in the morning. And it looks like I won't get into the actual room until about three in the morning.

So I'll be pushing it a bit. No, can you chuck us over to the person next in queue? To the person next in the queue? Yeah. Let's see if I can get anybody around. Okay. Mine's jumping on and on New Zealand radio at the moment. New Zealand radio.

Yeah, I've got a guy here. Hello, mate. Hi, New Zealand radio. Hello. Hi, New Zealand radio. There's about three people listening to this right now. What's your name? It's Ollie.

Ollie, are you willing to wait seven and a half, eight hours to just pay your respects? Absolutely, yeah. He was queen for 70 years. Seven hours, nothing for us. That's a good way to put it. That's a really good way to put it. What time did you arrive? About the same time as Kim?

Yeah, about 6.30. Jeez. Wow-wee. And what are you going to do when you're in there? Do you say anything? Can you put flowers down? No, you can't take flowers in there. No flowers, no selfies.

So it's just a chance to sort of just to say a quiet word and pay your respects? Yeah, yeah, I think so. How long are you allowed in the room for? I think it's quite a while. They do a changing of the guard every 20 minutes. So they don't rush you through, which is quite nice, but I think they get about a thousand through every hour is what I've heard.

So you're in the room with a whole lot of other people. It's not just a one-on-one sort of vacation. No, no. Unfortunately, the VIPs get the one-on-one time. What happened to Ollie? I felt like he had no pay.

Ollie, I thought you'd checked out of the conversation and just handed the phone back and gone, oh, these guys are... He's making these eight hours of waiting more painful. Hey, well, good on you both. Paying your respects to a wonderful woman. Hey, Ollie, guess what? What's that?

You're in the longest line in history. I'm just looking at a list of the longest lines in history. Russia, mate. Russia had 30,000 or so waiting for the first McDonald's in 1990. Then there was 29,000 waiting for a pair of Kanye's Yeezy boosts. But now you've trumped it. Yeah. Well done, guys.

Thanks so much. Lovely to talk to you this morning. All the best. All the best overnight. And well done on what you're doing. done, guys. Thanks so much. Lovely to talk to you this morning. All the best. All the best overnight. And well done on what you're doing. Thanks, guys. Take care. The great thing about listening to this show is that the day can only get better from here.

Jono and Ben on the hits. Who's having the best weekend? Cheers to Karcher window back. Takes whatever you throw at it. Oh, and it's not the window vac today. It's the bloody dry and wet vac, isn't it? Yeah, I think it's the wet and dry vacuum cleaner WD6, valued at $400.

What, the DIY lovers? Well, you need to have one of those. Tell you what, I love the WD5, so the WD6 must be really coming in strong, Ben. Yeah. The Karcher wet and dry vacuum cleaner in store and online at your local DOI store. We have one of these to give away right now,

and I 100% that's. We live vicariously through you guys to find out who's having the best weekend. Yeah, I had a fun weekend last weekend. I had to emcee a Catholic church event there, Ben Boyce. You know, just get my ticket, guaranteed ticket into the pearly gates. They said, will your mate Ben come along?

I'm like, he's a practicing Satanist. This goes against everything you, pagan, pagan. This goes against everything he believes in. So I did that last week. I sat home and ate hell pizza. So yes, who's having the best weekend? To be honest, even if you phone up and lie, just pretend you are.

You can walk away with a window vac, maybe. Sorry, a wet and dry vac. Hannah, you're on from the Waikato. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast, Hannah. Good morning, my friends. Good morning. Morena to you. This weekend, what's happening, Hannah?

Well, this weekend, me and the whanau are actually getting together to do the bathroom in the homestead renovating yeah renovation is so exciting because the home has been in the family for like over 80 years and it's due for a birthday so we're actually looking forward to it have you been using an 80 year old dunny yeah well not the dunny but just the walls and all that yeah need a bit of a revamp. Oh, I love the word dunny too. Such a fun word.

So you're renovating the bathroom, okay, in the 80-year-old homestead you hold there, Hannah. Let's get Kimbo on. You're in the Waikato as well this weekend. What's happening, Kim? Oh, well, for once we've just been so busy and full on lately with just work and just lots of things on. So for once just a nice, chill, low-key weekend at home with the kids. My daughter can spend some time with her calf club calf

and a bit of a barbecue over at the neighbours. Oh, it's busy. Life is wild at the moment. All I want to do is sleep. So what I'm going to do at 9 o'clock this morning is fall asleep, drive home, still asleep and sleep for an entire weekend. Sounds like a nice weekend actually.

Nice and relaxing. Alright, let's take one more. We'll get Jamie on from Perongia. Welcome, Jamie. This is the best weekend with Karcha for the wet and dry vac. What's happening in Porongia? Oh, having a baby, mate. Oh, wow.

You are. How many months pregnant are you, J-Mo? Oh, not me, mate. But, yeah, it's due next week, and we're having an elective C-section. Oh, so that's exciting. Is it, what, a first one? Have you got a baby before? Third and last, mate. Third and last.

Cutting it off after this, mate. Yeah, Ben Boyce, you did that. You booked it in too. Yeah, we did. You said it was surreal. It was a schedule. I had it in the calendar. People would go, oh, can we catch up on that day? I'll go, oh, I don't think I can move this meeting. This is quite an important one. Yeah, it's always good when you can schedule in big life events. I wish we could have done that with COVID. Just gone, oh, can we catch up on that day? I'll go, oh, I don't think I can move this meeting. This is quite an important one.

Yeah, it's always good when you can schedule in big life events. I wish we could have done that with COVID. Just gone, hey, here's a good week for me. Exactly. Well, Jamie, that's fantastic news, mate. Now we're going to get all three on. As per, this is the savage part of the competition. This is the part of radio no one likes to talk about

when we have to decide a winner for the Karcher wet and dry vac. Ben, can we get some intense music there? Producer Joel, have you got any floating around? We had Hannah who's renovating. This is the opposite of intense, but we'll roll with it anyway. Kim who's having a chill weekend and Jamie who's having a baby this weekend. Well, I have been in touch with my mates at Karcher and they've said, you know what, Ben, this week again, because I like you so much, everyone wins a Windry vacuum cleaner

WD6. Well done, guys. You all get that. Oop, oop. That's awesome. Thank you. No, no, not thank you. This is horse crap again. Week after week, there needs to be one winner. What's the jeopardy in it? What is the jeopardy?

Well, you think there's jeopardy, and then there's not jeopardy. That's the jeopardy, and you get angry, and I have to live with that. That's the jeopardy? Well, you think there's jeopardy, and then there's not jeopardy. That's the jeopardy. And you get angry, and I have to live with that. That's the jeopardy. Well, listen, everyone wins on this show. It's all unicorns and rainbows here on The Hits. Well done, guys. Enjoy your weekend. Damn Microsoft.

Can you please make order correct for audio? Jono and Ben on The Hits. Microsoft stresses me out for multiple, multiple reasons. Number one, which we've discussed before, it sends you a monthly report of your productivity. Yeah. You've spent this much time, you've replied to these amount of emails, you've only turned up to these meetings. And it paints me out to be a less than favorable employee because I'm hardly on the work system.

Yeah. Doesn't mean I'm not out of here hustling, Microsoft. Well, I get your point your point is correct that you know you do have your laptop but but in all fairness to the system it's probably got it right it's probably i'm not even using you you're not even using me and i know you're useless yeah but then there's another function which just has started to creep in over the last three weeks. So there's a document, and it issues a challenge. This is three minutes to read. And you're like, if I don't read this in three minutes,

my reading level is below par. Because you imagine Microsoft's given a little bit of leeway for those that read a bit slower. And sometimes I'm reading a three-minute document in five minutes. I'm not even meeting the time threshold. I haven't seen that one but that is yeah you look at a document it's like two minutes to read 10 minutes to read it tells you the one that says 10 minutes to read i'm like mate i'm not even starting a 10 minutes to read document

i found it the other night even in the movies we see that top gun movie and at the start of the movie they kind of flash up on the screen like a little synopsis of what you know you know to give you like where the movie is set you know based on the and yeah and that feels like a little synopsis of what, you know, to give you like where the movie is set, you know, based on the, and that feels like a race against time when you have all those words on the screen, you're like, oh God, I've got to read this, I've got to get it, you know, and I got to the end of it and I was like, yeah, did it, and then I retained none of that information. I was just trying to read words.

It's just so fast. Yeah. But the worst thing is if it moves, you know, like Star Wars, you know, they were partaking of this. Oh, the fade up the screen? Yeah. Jeez, old Lucas could have just done the old fast forward 30, or even maybe a 15 on that. Yeah. Fast forward, you know, the fade up the screen? Yeah. Jeez, old Lucas could have just done the old fast forward 30, or maybe a 15 on that.

Yeah. Fast forward, you know, the fifth part. Put a voiceover over the top so at least you know what time, you know, the speed to be reading along with. Jesus, that dragged, didn't it? It was like a 10 minute. Was that the intro, aye? Yeah, it was.

In a galaxy far, far away. And then they just keep, you know, it's like, mate, you know, you've heard me explain it. It's not a book we've come here to. George, get us a bunch of lasers. Get Darth Vader on like, mate, you know, you've had to explain it. It's not a book we've come here to. George, get us a bit of lasers. Get Darth Vader on there, mate. Netflix, too, a great job. And they're struggling financially, Netflix.

As we all know, it's in the media. What they've done is they've cracked the code with their shows where all of the introductions to their programs are 10 minutes long. And they're just sort of like ambiguous pictures of like knives and half full glasses to piano music and things. And that's the 10 minutes, that's the titles to the show. Oh, you love a lot of murder mysteries and stuff like that, don't you? Yeah.

Real crime. Yeah. Like sort of the world's most charismatic serial murderers and shows like that. But they've cracked the code. You can suck up a lot of TV time just with an introduction. Are your captions on or caption off? Captions on.

Yeah, I like them too. I do like them too. Yeah. And my daughter, like, that's her thing. That's her excuse. I'm like, you should read more like your sister. She's like, I read two TV shows today. It's like, well, yeah, you're like, you watched two.

Yeah, you got me there. Yeah, no, you got me. You like watched a long one. She's like, oh, yeah, fair enough. Look out. Scary dinosaurs. Not Jurassic Park. It's these guys.

Jono and Ben on the hits. Scrolling through your feed. Here he is. He's our newshound fresh from sniffing. The part of the body that we probably shouldn't mention of topicality. What's going on, Ben? Well, a very controversial finish to the rugby match late last night. Thursday night, rugby test in Melbourne.

The All Blacks are taking on the Wallabies in front of about 50,000 people. 39-37 to the All Blacks. The All Blacks are taking on the Wallabies in front of 50,000 people. 39-37 to the All Blacks. The All Blacks won. Now we were up 31-3. So we're up. It was looking good. Then the Wallabies come back. They score three tries. Time's running out. The Wallabies are ahead. We get a penalty. Are we

going to have a shot for goal? Let's have a go. Let's go. Let's go for it. Big move by the All Blacks. They would have tied the game, the shot at goal? Let's have a go. Let's go. Let's go for it. Big move by the All Blacks. They would have tied the game, the shot at goal, but they decided to go for the try. Didn't look like it was going to happen. The Wallabies get a penalty. All they have to do is kick it out, get the line out.

They're going to win. They're celebrating. And then a big call from the ref coming in, going time-wasting, reversed it. This is all after the whistle's gone. Well, this is with about a minute to go. They it give the all blacks a scrum last chance we score in the corner absolute scenes on sky sport ball on the ground they end up hitting australia well the australians giving a bit of a hurry up here but this will go out and all they'll have to do is win the line out hang on to it for a minute

even less and switch on the time and you play immediately and you wait you wait you wait so that's a scrum for the All Blacks

Jordan goes on his own gets the ball away and Marty Barrett wins it for New Zealand 90% of being a commentator is just going the ball away and Marty Barrett wins it for New Zealand oh so oh oh

90% of being a commentator is just going oh oh oh I could do that job yeah we should

not as well as those guys but I could do the yelly part of the job I don't have the rugby dance it's the guy who just yells you never know he never sees anything

better you know oh I don't know him I don't have a rugby knowledge. It sounds funny, but it's just the natural reaction that everyone would have. Oh, and it's so good to see them getting excited about a game. And what a game. So it was the All Blacks taking it out.

39 points to 37 over the Wallabies. There'll be a lot of chat about that game today around the place. Producer Behum's actually raised a very good point. He's like, how many grumpy boomers had already turned the telly off and started phoning Talkback Radio.

The bloody All Blacks have lost it. They were up by 31, 13. They let the Wallabies back but no they hung on. Controversial.

It's exciting though. It is exciting. It's exciting to have because you never know from one game to another who's going to win at the moment in international

rugby. It's a great place to be. It is a great place to be. It is a great place to be. So, yeah, a really, really good game. And I think Australia coming over to New Zealand next to play All Blacks at Eden Park. So that'll be a good game as well. If they were the internet, you'd want to clear this history.

Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, yesterday we went around and we broke a world record. We went to 57 pubs. The most amount of pubs visited in 24 hours to drink traffic light drinks that kids drink. Now, I put this on you, Jono. I feel like I put this on you. So I put this burden on you of 57 drinks throughout the day.

So now you've come up with an idea for a thing that could fail. It could fail miserably. But I'm like, I need to go with you on this one because I put that on you yesterday. That's what we do. We support each other in our endeavours. Now, I'm a little afraid

that this will fail but this is the Six O'Clock Club. Producer Joel, you're sixy and you know it. You know we're a special... We don't even talk

about this club after seven o'clock. Oh, no, it's like Fight Club, mate. We don't talk about that outside Fight Club. We don't talk about the Six O'Clock Club

outside the Six O'Clock Club. Our lips are hushed. So, we're going to try some stuff and if it goes bad we don't speak of it Six O'Clock Club outside the Six O'Clock Club. Our lips are hushed. So we're going to try some stuff, and if it goes bad, we don't speak of it again. No. Okay? We might not look each other in the eyes tomorrow and stuff like that, but that's fine. It'll be awkward for a couple of days, but we'll work through it, okay, and slowly forget about it. So this is called Joining Jobs.

So what we do is we get one 6 o'clock, 6 a.m. you know it, club member on the show. Yep. And we say, you know, for example, hi, mate, what's your name? Am I a character? This is role play. Okay. Dwayne. G'day, Dwayne.

What do you do for a job? Well, my last name's Dwayne Pipe, and I work, you know, like installing drain pipes. Yeah, right. Okay, so you're... Stop checking puns in. Oh, sorry. We're trying to give a good, decent example. Okay, my name is Dwayne Pipe

But I don't work You're in real estate I'm in real estate But you've just got a funny name Yeah Dwayne Pipe Real estate Real estate agent

Okay Dwayne So you're a real estate agent Alright what we're going to do Is 60 seconds now For another real estate agent To call up Oh wow And if another real estate agent

Calls up Called Wayne Stanton Yeah yeah And he's like. And if another real estate agent calls up called Wayne Stanton, and he's like, hey, I'm in real estate too. The only one I could think of was Not Safe for Radio, so I'm not going to go there. And then we join the jobs. Then you win. You both win prizes.

Gotcha. I see. That's how it works. Love it. Okay. Well, let's kick it off. Okay. We've got time now.

We'll try it now. Dana, you're on from Taranaki. Good to have you on. Hello. How are you? Good. Good. Now, if this ship now. Dana, you're on from Taranaki. Good to have you on. How are you? Good. Now, if this ship's going down, you're coming down with us, Dana. Oh, wow.

It sounds like a confusing game. It's actually not, but I probably overcomplicated it with the pun name. Yeah. Okay, okay. So all you need to do in its simplest form is you need to tell us what you do for a job, Dana. I'm a nurse, and surely there's plenty of them listening. It's a nurse. It's a nurse.

So working hard on the front line, and we appreciate, Altid, I appreciate everything you're doing. Are you overworked at the moment, Dana? Yes, I'm going to be in trouble because I'm going to be late to work, and there's only been two staff members on over the night, so they're short-staffed. Okay, so what we're doing now... If we win. Yeah, it's with or without...

Okay, so we've got 60 seconds to start the clock, Producer Joel, for another nurse to phone up. Joining jobs starts now. Here we go. All right. Okay, the clock starts now. Producer Joel, you look a little flustered. Have you not found the bloody clock, mate?

Can you give me a heads up before we do these things, please? Oh, oh, oh. Time starts now. Okay, so 0800, that's the telephone number. Joining jobs. Dana, who's already running late for her job.

Let's go to line five. Who have we got on line five? Oh, we've hung up on Dana, Joel. Oh, Jesus. Who is on line five? Hi, my name's Kelly. Kelly, what do you do for a job? I'm a nurse.

She's a nurse! We've joined the job. See, you've got two nurses. Now, apart from some technical issues... Okay. I'm pretty sure Dana's here. Don't you worry. Now, Dana's calling back on line one.

Apart from, you know, some technical issues, what did Dana... Yes? Kelly Kelly phone through, you're both nurses Yay Why don't you talk to each other, you must have something in common Hi Yeah, underpaid and overstressed They sound like nurses What a wonderful thing to have in common

Because I was wondering how we were going to verify it But I think that's enough verification. Underpaid and overstressed. Hey, well done, guys. We're going to send you both out some hell pizza this morning, delivering this lifetime and next, okay? Thanks so much. Thanks so much for watching the show.

That was a fun game. Joining jobs. There we go. What do you reckon? It was a road test. Is it coming back? We're going to do it again with another profession another time. That sounds fun.

It is the hits. You got Jono and Ben. It's Jono and Ben, but FYI, Ben is open to other options. Jono and Ben on the hits. Yesterday we went out and broke a world record, as mentioned before. A world record for the most amount of pubs visited in 24 hours, went to 57 and we had traffic

light drinks. The kids drink. Yeah, like ordering a bar, going to a bar, ordering a kid's drink and going on a pub call and just having nothing but kids drinks, the kids drink. Yeah, like ordering a bar, going to a bar, ordering a kid's drink, and going on a pub crawl, and just having nothing but kids drinks, 57 of them. The world's most depressing pub crawl. Oh, it was probably the world's safest one. If we did that with alcohol, we'd probably all be

getting our stomachs pumped now. Like you say, you could get into the car later, and off you went. Drive home, yeah. We went to pubs all day long. 57 bars and restaurants, and we drove home. I've never been to so many bars and restaurants in my life in one day, but I could still go to the car and drive home. One bartender said, that's the real record. You've gone to 57 bars and pubs and you haven't had one drink.

Yeah. That is a real record. So we broke the world record yesterday, said goodbye to the traffic light system. It was a lot of fun. We had a lot of great people on the way. Yeah, we did. Tell you who we bumped into, mate.

Bloody Michael Hill Jeweller. I know. Michael Hill Jeweller was on the way. Yeah, we did. Tell you who we bumped into, mate. Bloody Michael Hill Jeweller. I know. Michael Hill Jeweller was on the street and we walked past and we went, oh, is that Michael Hill Jeweller? Whispering to the New Zealand thing. And we did the very un-New Zealand thing of then approaching Michael Hill Jeweller and he just

looks wealthy, doesn't he? He's got this aura of just dripping in cash and we asked for a photo and he very uh politely and kindly said yes uh yeah so you know what i found interesting is you were like hi michael hill jeweler you called him michael hill jeweler it'd be like him going hi ben subpar radio announcer like you just said his name followed by his profession i know i know i'm like we're gonna get fun with michael hill jeweler and i was like, oh.

I was like, stop calling him Michael Hill Jeweller. Yeah, I know. I shouldn't have. Just stop after the hill. Yes, I know. I realise his name. Even calling him Michael Hill, that's his first and last name. Just call him Michael.

Yeah, thanks, Michael. Yeah, true. Just stop after the first one. For some reason, it felt like Michael Hill Jeweller just rolls off the tuck. Anyway, we took a photo with him. We put it on social. We were like, even Michael Hill was along for the ride. Michael Hill had no idea

What was going on Understandably so But we roped him into Our shabby promotion Didn't we But he replied back Producer Behemst He did

He did He said he appreciated Being part of it Yeah He appreciated I didn't know I wasn't part of it But now I appreciate

The whole thing M M So even to say Michael Hill jeweller He just abbreviated Less than Michael when we just went M.

So maybe next time I'll call him M. Producer Joel. Maybe next time I'll call him Sir Michael Hill. I think that'd probably be appropriate. I can't add more words to his name. Sir Michael Hill Jeweler would be the best way to be going about it. Sir Michael Hill Jeweler.

Above it to Chris Mack, bass player from 660. You there about to fly out tonight on tour? Yeah, he had a traffic light with us as well. You can catch it at all. It was a heck of an adventure. If you go to our story on The Hits Breakfast on Instagram, about to fly out tonight on tour. Yeah, he had a traffic light with us as well. You can catch it at all. It was a heck of an adventure. If you go to our story on the Hits Breakfast on Instagram, you can see a lot of us enjoying traffic lights,

a lot of us enjoying the sugar rush, and it was all on there. Didn't factor in the green mouth, though, did we? The green dye on top of the drink, which it just looked like it had a very serious fungal infection of the mouth. Yeah. And people would, you'd walk into the mouth yeah and people would you'd walk into bars or restaurants and people would their eyes are directly drawn to your green mouth

but they don't say anything so you then feel very self-conscious about your green mouth so you're going sorry we're doing this thing we've got green dye i had to go to pack and save afterwards i went in there with my mouth shut just they will put their photo up on social media and I was trying to talk to the checkout operator without opening my mouth and then I had to explain as well, sorry we're being on this thing and she's like, I don't care just swipe your items.

New Zealand's most successful unsuccessful show. Jono and Ben on the hits. The traffic light system that protected us for so long from COVID-19, the framework that we didn't understand by the end of it, we're like, what are we? Are we green? Are we red?

Are we, what's going on? Well, we're now moving forward with certainty. Ardern announced on Monday that the traffic light system, the beloved traffic light system that held a special place in all of our hearts, disappeared, Ben, and you weren't happy with the abrupt send-off.

It was just like, in the afternoon, hey, this is going, midnight tonight. What? Gone? No emotion, no thanks. I'm glad it's gone. Don't get me wrong, but I'm glad it's gone. But I was like, well, let's give it a send-off. And I thought, well, what better way to give it a send-off than

with the children's drink, the traffic light drink you'd have at Cobb & Co back in the day. Red, orange, green, the three traffic light colours in the drink. We'll go around there. We'll break the world record for the most amount of bars or pubs visited in the day. Red, orange, green, the three traffic light colours in the drink. We'll go around there, we'll break the world record for the most amount of bars or pubs visited in 24 hours. 57 of those, 57 traffic lights, break a world record,

say goodbye to the traffic light system. Get some social media, have a laugh, shake some hands, kiss some babies, and it's exactly what we did yesterday. Jono and Ben's Traffic Light Tour. 57 traffic light drinks. 57 venues. One world record.

Traffic. Here we are, bar number one, Pilkington's. Jan has really set the bar high in the bar. Yeah, we're in a bar.

Alright, cheers. Now you just want to know what we're doing. Yes. Yes, so we're having 57 traffic light drinks to commemorate the end of the traffic light system. Amazing.

No, hang on, you say amazing now, but what did you say just before? Well, I asked why I want you to add vodka to it. And we said, because that's not a true traffic light, and then you said... It's very sad. Yeah, yeah. We are very sad.

We are very sad individuals. I didn't say you're sad, it's just the drink. Like, add some spice to it, you know? Add something to it, mate. Yeah. And my lip are very sad. We are very sad individuals. I didn't say you're sad. It's just the drink. Like, add some spice to it, you know? Add something to it, mate. Yeah. Am I lips very green? Yes. That's kind of terrifying, to be honest.

No offense. Yeah. None taken. To be honest, a lot of effects taken. No, just don't take it with me. Hi, Chloe. How are you? Good.

How are you? What do you reckon of my green mouth? Blah. It looks fantastic. It looks it all day. I'm probably the same, though, am I? Yeah, you're the my green mouth? Blah! Looks fantastic. It looks, oh, I'm probably the same though, am I? Yeah, you're the same. Yeah, I'm the same. I shouldn't have kissed him before.

We're at North Park, and you guys have on the menu, what's this here? Traffic light. Traffic light on the menu. It's taken us 25 bars and restaurants, and you're the first one to have it. Oh, that's nice. You've got a monopoly on traffic lights in the CBD.

So do we have some prize for that? Yeah. You get the prize of appearing on the 14th highest radio show. The number one radio show with green lips though.

I'm amazed. Is it weird talking to his mouth? Mine's one of the same. No, yours isn't as bad. You've got a green tinge all around. It's not a green.

It looks very sickly. I've caught a new strain of COVID. We got rid of the last strain. Number 57. This is it. We're doing it. Cheers. We did it for you.

Okay, I know. Did anyone want us to do it? No, but we did it anyway. There we go. It was very fun, though. Met a lovely bunch of people, didn't we? All three yesterday. A lot of people knew about it, too.

That's right. Walking into places, oh, yeah, for the traffic load. Good word was spreading. I know. 57 places. The two heroes drinking 57. The team of five million, didn't we? Yeah, we did.

So that's officially been put together. Hey, if you want to head to the Hits Breakfast on Instagram or Facebook, you can see some of the photos. Sometimes when we were high on sugar, other times when we were crashing down. It's all there. The Hits Breakfast on social media. Baldly going where no show has gone before. How long is it going to take for Ben to make fun of my bald head?

Jono and Ben on the Hits. Let's go. Jono and Ben with five words for 5k. Stop any time to keep the cash or play on to win more. It is a simple game of word association. Now what pops into your

head after we say these words? One of us will play it as well. If we match up words you win a whole lot of cash. We're going to go to Jenna in Invercargill. Welcome from the deep south, Jenna. Hello, good morning. Lovely to have you on. Now we just had a call from Marcus Lush who's running for mayor there,

upset that a lot of our activation's happening away from Invercargill. He says the people hate us in Invercargill for it. Is that true, Jenna? Well, yep, very true. And you guys should definitely come down and help with the running of Marcus for mayor. Shono says we're going there Monday. What are you doing Monday, Jenna? We're coming to see you.

Well, yep, I'll be down there. Wherever you are, I'm there. We're trying to make it happen. We'll let you know before 9 o'clock if we can get down there, bring some cash to give away, pay five words. Apparently it could happen if we can book some flights. It feels like apology cash. We're coming down to pay people off to stop hating us. That's right, stop hating us.

Right now, Jenna, we'll pay you off some apology cash, potentially, when we play five words. Who do you want to send into the soundproof booth? Yes, sounds good. Fingers crossed. Who's going to go in there this morning there, Jenna? Ben. Ben, all right.

You're at home with a six-month-old. Yes, yeah, I am. In da trenches, baby. Yeah. Aren't you? It's busy, but it's good. Great fun. Yeah, it's great stuff. We're Aren't ya? It's fine, it's busy, but it's good. Yeah, it's great stuff. We're running on what?

Hours sleep, you reckon there, Jenna? Yeah, maybe two. Two. No treating yourself. All right, let's win you 5K for a Friday. What a way to end a week. Here we go. Awesome.

First words. Short bread. That's a tough first word. Biscuit. Yep, no, that makes sense. Pacifier is number two this morning for you, Gina and Invercargill. Baby. Shine.

Oh, shine. Sun. Oh, good. yeah, nice, sunshine Alphabets Letters And the fifth, did you say letter or letters? Letters Letters, plural, and disaster

Was the fifth and final one for you Jenna? Covid Covid? Yeah Covid disaster, it was a bloody disaster, wasn't it, mate? All right, well done. Five words, you got them all out. Now you just need to put your words into Ben's mouth.

And we can do that now that COVID's gone. It's done. Jenna's going to put her words into your mouth there, Ben. All right. Take them from her mouth, put them in. Let's win you 5K. First words. Word one, $25. It's win you 5K. First word. Word one, $25.

It's worth 25 bangers. Shortbread. Shortbread. Biscuit? Jenna, you're off the mark. Are we advancing on to the $50 word? Yes, yep, we are. Word two, $50.

Pacifier. Dummy. Oh, Jenna! Now they're going to hate us more than Invercargill. Yes, they are. We tipped out straight away. What are we? Baby.

Baby, yeah. Pacifier. Pacifier, dummy, baby. I can see what you did there Jenna Yes I'm sorry Well this has been a disappointment

I'm sorry Yeah You already said Oh no, Rarotonga's out the window Out the window mate That's where they were going to go Oh dice Chuck it out the window

Open the window now I hear Vakagel's better than Rarotonga though That's what I hear That's why I love it We're going to be there on Monday We've never decided Let's rattle through the remaining three words Sun

Shine Oh no, I wrote the. We're going to be there on Monday. We've never decided. Let's rattle through the remaining three words. Sun. Shine. Oh, no, I wrote the wrong. Sorry. I gave the answer there. Oh, it's good. It's easier when you give me the answer. Alphabet.

Lettuce. And disaster. Natural. Hey, not bad. Not bad, Jenna. It was a good showing. Well, listen, hopefully we can come meet you somewhere on Monday, give you some cash. That would be great.

And make things all right. We'll try and get to Invercargill on Monday. You're going to have a great weekend regardless, okay, Jenna? Thank you very much for listening. They've got pranks. They've got puns. Now they just need some actual listeners. Jono and Ben on the hits.

Now, yesterday after the show, we went around casually. Just broke a world record didn't we? World record. Don't want to brag about it but we've been bragging about it all morning. Yeah we did we went around 57 pubs to break the record for the most amount of pubs visited in 24 hours which was 56 you're meant to order a drink at each

location and drink a drink and we thought traffic lights, the traffic light system has ended, let's drink a traffic light drink, the children's drink from you know like Cobb and Co and all the bars back in the day we had 57 of those a lot of them and we spent a long time a lot of the time going to the bathroom yeah and yeah it's like i would liken it to you know when you go to a fancy garden or something they've got a statue of a baby just continuously peeing you know i don't know why the baby's always peeing no yeah and it was like that

it was just a constant oh yeah yeah at the start we held on for as long as possible and then once you know once the floodgates opened the dam broke we were just like it was constant it was like every one or two bars at the at the latest we'd be like i'm gonna go back one of us would have to go back to the bathroom now something happened that's just completely unprepared unplanned i was just in the moment and i've come up with a format for a fantastic new TV show, which I caught you by surprise, Ben, a couple of times. So what you do is you linger outside a toilet door. I think take the word fantastic out of what you just said before.

But anyway, you came up with that idea. So you linger outside a public bathroom door and you have your camera rolling. And then Ben, every time Ben would emerge from the toilet door, I would be like, Hi there, sir, you're on. What are you doing? What have you been doing in there? And then capture your face. You give me a fright coming out of the bathroom. You give me a fright. I mean, you're my mate, so that's okay for you. I'm okay for you to be doing it. I didn't realize this, but there is no greater joy than watching a person's face when they've been caught by surprise walking out the toilet like it's just filming me like an undercover

fair ghost thing going what are you doing i'll be like i'll just go to the bathroom like like we have been every two bars it's like those you know ones that catch online predators and things except it's far more it's all about board these people have just been going to the lavatory here's some audio of the hit new show What Have You Been Doing In There What have you been doing in there? I was just thinking you were going to get me in there damn it

you're on What Have You Been Doing In There What Have You Been Doing In There I knew you were going to get me in the way out thanks for being on that was after you'd done it a few times every time I knew you were going to give me the way out. Hey, thanks for being on. I love the show. I love the show. That was after you'd done it a few times.

Every time I go to the bathroom, I'm like, oh, mate, it's going to be waiting outside with this camera to film me as I walk back out into the bar. So I was going to apply for New Zealand on air funding

to see if they can fund what have you been doing in here. I don't know if they will, but hey. But where it goes, this is where it goes wrong. It's a high risk, high reward format.

What have you been doing in there? Because we were at one of the bars, one of the mini bars, and I went, I'm just going to go to the bathroom, have a break from the traffic light situation, and go to the bathroom. And I thought in my head, oh, he's going to be waiting outside for when I come back out. And you were right, I was.

But now here is my conundrum. In a situation where there's more than one toilet door you've got to choose which toilet which toilet door you're filming this is real bad and i focused in on a toilet door holding a cell phone there ready for another fantastic episode of what are you whatever you've been doing so you're filming i'm filming i'm filming toilet door opens i'm like here we go. Champagne stuff. He's about to walk out. And this lady walks out.

And I'm like, what have you been doing in there? Filming her. And she's looking at me going. Like the fear in her eyes. Who's this strange man? I don't know. Filming me as I come out of the bath. Like the fear in her eyes. Who's this strange man? I don't know. Filming me as I come out of the bathroom.

She worked for the bar too. She was like, oh dear God, I'm so sorry. Try to explain the situation. We're doing a running gag with my mate who's in the bathroom. He must be in the other one. I'm so sorry. It was me to be filming my mate. And she's looking at me going like, well, that's not even cool. Like in that instance.

Yeah, true. Oh, God. So, yeah, that's when what have you been doing in there goes wrong, guys. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry to that poor woman. The reason call screening was invented. Jono and Ben on the hits. Hughes, for the people lining up to pay their respects for the Queen,

kilometres and kilometres long. Hours and hours. Spoke to Kim, Kim the Kiwi, Kiwi Kim. She was at the back of the line with a whole bunch of people. Ollie, a British man there, who said, the Queen was there reigning for 70 years. He said, what's waiting seven hours? And it's a really good way to put it.

Kim, as you said before she's a Kiwi living over there, she went to pay her respects. She said it took her an hour and a half to walk to the end of the line. Yeah. That's not even waiting time. That's just walking to the end of the line and then you're waiting for hours and hours. But when you think of that, they were getting them through pretty quickly.

Yeah. Yeah, just mowing the line through. So that's what's happening in the UK. On our text machine though, closer to home, Ben, doesn't get much more closer than our text machine. The humbler of your average radio announcer, the text machine. Yeah, no one likes the text machine, really. Just when you think a radio announcer's ego is getting away on them, have a read of the text machine.

It'll bring you down a few pegs. Although, to be fair, the hits are lovely. The hits are fun or awesome. Compare it to some previous formats we've worked on. I love working here. I tell you what, the rock will humble you. It'll crush your soul, that text machine. But we've worked on The Rock I tell you what The Rock will humble you it'll crush your soul that text machine

but we've had a text through here from someone who says if you read this text out I will take the day off work now we don't know what this means

what it's a relation to so we're going to go through to the number now let's give them a call hello hello it's Jono and Ben calling from the

Hits radio station hey Jono and Ben we from the Hits radio station. Hey, Jono and Ben. Hey, we got a text through. I don't know if I should mention your name on here because we don't know. It's like a text coming through saying about if we read out a text, you wouldn't go to work today. Yeah, yeah.

I'm in an iron about going to work today. I was going to play some golf and drink some beers. That would be my day. I just needed some convincing to convince myself. We technically haven't read the text out yet. So you just want another party to come in and sort of give you the push over the edge. I need. I'm weak-minded.

I'm heavily twisted. All I need is a little push. Now, John, did we meet you in Christchurch last Friday night at about midnight? Yes, you did. Yes! We did. Yeah, you did, yeah.

Now, what do you do, John? I'm a builder. Oh, okay. Now, would you want your boss to... This is why I was trying not to say your name, because once you say your name, you should 100% go to work. Oh, I'm sure there's a million Johns that are builders. Okay, over to you, over to you.

But I would say no. That would be my recommendation now, once we've said your name on radio, where you you, over to you. But I would say no. That would be my recommendation now. Once we've said your name on radio, where you are, the country, I was trying to help you out now, but we've said it now, so I'm saying 100% go to work. That's my decision. Over to you, Jono. Oh, listen, in radio, you've got to take the opposite.

I'm going to say take the day off, Jon, which has not left you in any better position. Yeah, true. I might have to flip take the day off, John, which has not left you in any better position. Yeah, true. I might have to flip a coin. Flip a coin for me. Flip a coin. High risk, high reward. High risk, high reward.

Yeah, well, it's very high risk. Oh, here we go. Producer Joel's got a coin here. Okay, we're flipping the coin. This is John's day off. Is he taking it off? It's a long weekend. Heads or tails?

Heads or tails. Okay, so I'm going to say heads, he's going to work. Tails, he's staying home. Here we go, John. It's heads say heads, he's going to work. Tails, he's staying home. Here we go, John. It's heads. Ah, you're going to work, mate, according to the flip of the coin. Oh, it must have been a loaded coin.

Oh, look, John, I feel like you've already decided, haven't you, heads? I've said go to work, you're like, ah. He feels so guilty, he just wants someone else to go, you know, that's a good decision. Yeah, John, we're going to send you out some hell pizza, my friend. Oh, too kind, appreciate you guys. You's a good decision. Yeah, John. We're going to send you out some hell pizza, my friend. Oh, too kind. Appreciate you guys. You have a great day at work, all right?

You too. Thank you. He's awesome. Hard-hitting interviews and informed opinion. Mike Hosking on Newstalk ZV. In the meantime, Jono and Ben on the hits.

We broke a world record. We went to 57 bars or pubs around the city of Auckland. We had a traffic light drink in each one, the children's drink, and we broke a world record. We went to 57 bars or pubs around the city of Auckland. We had a traffic light drink in each one, the children's drink, and we broke the world record for the most amount of bars visited in 24 hours. Now, you said you had some health concerns surrounding the world record. Well, yeah, because we every, you know, explain it. Well, I'll get Producer Behemoth to explain the traffic light too,

because you had to do this at every bar we pretty much went to because it's not on the menu like it used to be, right? No spas. It's not on the menu, but you also feel like a bit, like walking into a bar telling a barman how to make a drink. Oh, and some of them got quite salty, didn't they? Risky business, risky business. Would you walk up to the cockpit when the plane's landing

and tell the pilot how to land the plane? It was kind of that sort of vibe. Yeah, and you were like, what you do is you put some raspberry down there, juice there. I heard the spell. Explain how to make a traffic light. So a couple of centimetres of raspberry cordial in the bottom of the glass,

top it up with ice, and then gently pour the orange juice down so it doesn't mix up. But normally the raspberry does sink to the bottom. Top it up to three quarters full, and then what I'll do is, in my pocket here, I've got some green food coloring.

I'll drop a couple of dots in there. We'll lightly stir it and it'll form the traffic light. You looked very suspicious wandering around with a little bottle and just giving two taps to the top of every drink. You did. Like if you're in a nightclub, I'd be like, did someone get this guy out of here? It was just like I had to keep you guys focused

and a couple of drops seemed to keep you on to the next one. It was kind of unusual going in, because most places would go, yeah, we'll make it for you, but unfortunately, we don't have green food colouring. And you're like, uh-uh-uh, I bought my own. We brought our own drinks to the bar, basically, in the form of food colouring. And your mouth, John, and mine too, when I got home,

my teeth were stained, my mouth was stained. You looked like you had a new variant of COVID. Yeah, very green. green sort of like a toxic color as well isn't it around your mouth and people look at you like you're not well yeah and so we'd have to go to the bathroom many many times because obviously we're drinking 57 drinks but i don't know i know i get you know that's a it's a show for the family but i don't know if you've been to the bathroom bathroom have you done that no you've said it all you've said it all like just think i'll just say the incredible hulk if he went to the bathroom that's what that's all i'll say that's all i'll say this morning i was like dear god what is wrong with me like and then i went oh the food coloring and we went through four little containers of food colouring

between the two of us. So that means I consumed two bottles of food colouring. I was like, dear God. You know how they do all the wastewater testing during COVID? They're going to go to Ben's Street and go, what's... I don't know, I can't make this. What's happened here? So just a little word of warning.

Whatever's in your system right now... It's coming out because you're a fright if you're not expecting it that's for sure so yeah it'll be like when they die

that river in Chicago green for St. Patrick's Day well I think the real world record yes it was the 57 traffic lights but also having

57 of the same conversations in 57 different establishments word for word same conversations over and over establishments word for word yes same conversations over and over

that's that was the real treat that won't get acknowledged so well done to you producer Humphrey yeah well done thank you thank you to all the bars

that you know kindly made us drinks and hung out with us it was all everyone was so helpful and also the ones who didn't want to want to make us drinks

but we made them make us drinks anyway because we're like we've got all the ingredients mate suckers it was very funny we went to a couple of upmarket venues

and they were like oh we don't have green food colouring sorry and you're like don't worry I've got it they're like mate, suckers. It was very funny. We went to a couple of upmarket venues and they were like, oh, we don't have green food colouring, sorry. And you're like, don't worry, I've got it. They're like, oh, sorry, we don't have raspberry. Don't worry, I've got it. Oh, sorry, we don't have orange juice. It's like, wait, surely you've got orange juice. Sorry, the bartender doesn't have arms.

It's like, what is that? Yeah, no glasses. They just wanted us out. Oh, yeah. So we broke a world record. Thanks so much for your help, New Zealand. It is the hits. You got Jono and Ben.

You've been listening to a podcast from the hits. For more audio, search up Megan Puppis on the 3pm pickup or Brad and Laura on the hits. Available now on the iHeartRadio app.