Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: We owe $20 Karen money

Episode Date: June 26, 2022

Ben has updates after his family weekend in Wellington. Jono had a silly game for us to play. We chat about the aftermath of Roe vs Wade and catch up with 1News US Correspondent Anna Burns-Francis and wait until you hear the voice mail we got from $20 Karen. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits with the Jono and Ben Podcast. Hey, welcome, 27th of June. Jono, Ben, Bell's here as well. This is the podcast introduction. Now, Ben, you actually raised, it was a flippant comment, flippant remark, earlier in the show, 6 o'clock I think, you said, has anyone ever been to one of those timeshare things where they're like, you know, we'll give you 50% off at Waterworld or SeaWorld

if you sit through the seminar? Yeah, normally I've seen it happen when I've been to the Gold Coast before, where you go along the street and then they offer you amazing deals on some attraction, and then I guess you have to sit through a timeshare presentation and probably feel like you need to buy a timeshare. It's always some greasy, and my friends did this too, and he won't mind me saying, he was doing it in the UK, but he was kind of selling paintball.

Hey, mate, you want to play some paintball? Generally, no one's in the mood for paintball, but he made some sales back then. But they kind of got the wraparound glasses, slick back here, don't they? Hey, mate, you want to go see the dolphins at SeaWorld? Yeah. Yeah, come sit through this presentation. Has anyone ever ended up taking advantage of it and buying a timeshare?

Now, someone text in. Oh, really? Someone text in to the studio. So we're going to call them and see what the repercussions were of saying yes to... Because I struggle, as I said earlier on the show, I struggle to say no in those situations. The longer you get locked into a conversation. So I imagine going, you've had the attraction, you've gone and then you're in this room with people.

It'd be very difficult, I'd say, to get out without buying a timeshare. Hello, Jamie speaking. Oh, Jamie, it's Jono and Ben from The Hits, mate. G'day, how are you? Good. We were just discussing. You said yes to going to one of these seminars. Yes, of course.

Well, you know, Dracula's tickets were ridiculously expensive, and you want to spend any money you have on the expensive cocktails they have. Yeah, also Dracula's. That's the show they have in the Gold Coast, right? The Dracula show. Yeah, the divorce vampire themed show, yeah. It's kind of like a restaurant, dinner in a show situation. Yeah, you're right.

And so was it a free one? Were you getting a discount? What was the carrot dangler? Discount. They discounted it to like $15. Well, first of all, you've got to get past the carnies that Rokey went off the street with the numerous freebies. So yeah, it was like $15 for Drax tickets.

$15 a ticket. So you're like, great, you're going to that. So you go to the show, the tickets work, they go through, and then what happens after? When do you have to go to the seminar? I imagine it's a seminar? Well, here's the clincher. Yeah, you've got to go to the seminar first.

Oh, yes. Everyone would sign up. So you go along. It's early morning, too. You're like, can you get me my tickets? Can I just get my tickets? When do we get in the tickets? I think the first warning sign will be they give you, like,

Kool-Aid when you go in. So, yeah, they've got you all ready to take the bait. But now they go through it, and it's all pretty legit or whatever. And it was a pretty good deal, and it was a pretty good presentation. I'm not one for scams scam so we were pretty close to signing up right so so what was the deal what was the deal was it the room was it a time she was at a sheer in an apartment all over the world oh well you know they're building these amazing hotels everywhere you're going to get like first dibs on rooms, and your children get to benefit from it for the rest of their lives.

Oh, your children. The children's children and all sorts. One for the generations. Yeah. Yeah, generational scams, so a good one, a good one. Well, I know someone who's got a time. She's got to say, and they love it. They go and they use it to their advantage.

Well, I just don't know enough about it, and I guess that's what the seminar is about, but I'm too scared to go. Well, they take you on a tour of the hotel that they have it of, and it's pretty enticing, I must admit. And even the payment plan is pretty good. Yeah, right. So you're thinking, this is awesome. And we're going to have all these holidays in the future.

Yeah, they definitely sell you a dream. Yeah, right. So you're getting swept up in the holiday madness. You're about to be prevented. So you did it swept up in the holiday madness. You're about to... And so you did it. So how do you break the news to them? How does that work? Well, we got right to the point of signing

and probably will have, but then the next thing they want your, you know, firstborn child, your soul. You're like, you can have the firstborn. Take the baby. I want the apartment. So, yeah. And, yeah, they asked for a deposit of like $10,000, which is just, you know, you want the apartment. So, yeah, and they ask for a deposit of like $10,000

which is just, you know, you read the room and there's people in there that have clearly been on one of those pub crawls that they also sell you and the malls and stuff like that that have turned up, hung over, clearly just wanted their free tickets and whatnot.

Yeah, they need to learn. So, it's no surprise, honestly. And so they wanted $10,000 on the spot. And so you're about to sign. How do you break the news to them? I was just like, I said, well, I don't have that kind of money. He says, oh, don't you have credit cards? I'm like, lady, I maxed out my cue card just coming to the golf course.

And then, you know, she sort of morphs into Rumpelstiltskin and does a little dance and gets super angry. Oh, did she get quite feral? She was, yeah. She'd been nice as pie the whole way through, you know, your best friend, and then did a total Jekyll and Hyde and, yeah, and almost, like, pulled the paper out from under us. We just totally scammed

her, which was quite funny, really. Then you're like, hey, about the Dracula tickets. Well, no, that's just it. You still get the Dracula tickets. You just have to sit through the seminar and stuff, but you feel a little bit guilty too, so we went through with it. We put on an act as much

as they did, um but they nearly had us if it hadn't been for the massive deposit i think i'd probably be um you know part owner in a timeshare right now oh that is uh that's amazing and so how long from what a good just time wise do you have to dedicate to a presentation oh god i reckon it was a couple of hours, so probably not worth it. Probably not worth it. Yeah, right. And so she would have had the disdain on her face handing over those Dracula tickets, I imagine. Yeah, she sort of just tore the paper out from under us,

ushered us to the desk where you go and collect whatever you needed to collect to go and enjoy your show, which we did. You did. You enjoyed the show. Well, thank you for sharing that with us., which we did. You did. You enjoyed the show. Well, thank you for sharing that with us. We really appreciate it. No worries.

But yes, buyer beware. Buyer beware. Thank you, Jamie. Appreciate it. So you go, that's what happens, Ben. Yeah. You've always wondered. It is.

Yeah. They're your best friend until you pull out at the last minute. Well, that's good. We've discovered that just before we head into the podcast today. But actually, when you get to the podcast, you'll hear this message. We've upset someone on the podcast today. We've got a message, a very threatening message for someone you don't want to upset. So that's on the podcast in just a few moments.

Jono and Ben, just like family. The family members you're ashamed of. Jono and Ben on the hits. Long Matariki weekends. I'm just saying Having that Friday off Made the weekend feel Ten times longer Nice wasn't it

As opposed to a Monday off For some reason Mentally I felt like I had a week off And I look like I've had no time off When you come out this morning You say I feel hungover

I do I didn't even drink Yeah Not good I think I still hold it I've honestly I've hit 40 Wait till you hit 40 mate

Your body just goes I'm done with you I'm done I've been doing all Because you kept hit 40. Wait till you hit 40, mate. Your body just goes, I'm done with you. I'm done. I've been doing all. Because you kept it at peak physical condition before that, though, right? Yeah. You were really at that. Yeah, so I've done a lot of heavy lifting, mate.

It's all up to you now. I'm not handling it, Ben. How was Wellington? You were to Wellington. Yeah, it was really good. I had a good time down seeing the family. But I tell you the one most impressive thing that I saw in Wellington, the lawns, the beehive. We even checked out old man Mallard's lawns.

They're incredible. They have bounced back. Like, you would not even know. There was people, the lawns, there was fires, there was all this, you know, there was all that stuff going on with the protests. The lawns are lush. The grass is green.

I appreciate that update from you. Go look at Ben's stories. They are very beautiful. Oh, did you do a blow-by-blow? I just had a little look. I just had a little look. I just looked. I went, oh, go check out. Come on, kids, let's go check out the lawns in Parliament.

They hadn't seen the beehive before, so they had a look at the beehive. I'm like, this lawn. Because there's someone who's tried to grow a lawn maybe three or four times at home. I'm like, and could never do it. I'm like, they've done a great job. Well, yeah, he's got a fantastic state of the art sprinkler system, Ben, which is pivotal to any grass growth. I don't know. You didn't have the sprinkler system, Ben, which is pivotal to any grass growth. I don't know.

You didn't have the sprinkler system installed in your property. No. You've ended up laying down like a tennis court, AstroTurf. Well, that's good to hear that the lawns have bounced. It looks incredible. If you'd played footage of what was going on that day, the fires and everything, you're like, tell me what that lawn looks like now. And then you open someone's eyes, they'll be like, wow.

Yeah, a couple of months later, that footage is incredible. Must have had the ready lawn, I reckon. Yeah, I think so. They must have rolled in some ready lawn. Because you wouldn't get grass to grow that quickly. So yeah, I had a great moment too with my dad. Because hanging out with my dad down there, it made me laugh. Because he dropped us off.

We were going to get a coffee. And it was very busy around Wellington streets. A lot of people out and about. And so he was trying to catch up with us afterwards to pick us off. We were going to get a coffee and it was very busy around Wellington streets, a lot of people out and about. And so he was trying to catch up with us afterwards to pick us up. And I was like, hey, we're trying to call him,

trying to text him. I was like, hey, we're at the same place that you dropped us off. I thought he'd understand. So I was like, I'll take a photo. And I got a photo of my wife.

She's standing on the road. There's people. Like, it's not a great photo, but I was just like, this is where you dropped us off. Location purposes. This is where you pick us up. And then I get a text from Dad last night going, great pic.

Thanks for that. Like I'd send him a holiday shot. It's like the back of my wife's head next to a cafe. But also so complimentary about it. Great pic, son. Thanks for sending that through. Great to see you. But that wasn't the point.

That wasn't my one highlight of the weekend away. Your big concern, too, is, Kevin Boyce, you don't spend much time together to see you but that wasn't the point that wasn't my one highlight of the the weekend away your big concern too is uh kevin boyce you don't you don't spend much time together just because you're in different cities yeah yeah like but your main concern was like he is gonna have you booked from morning to night visiting all sorts of people diane and greg down the road did you go and visit people oh there was a few what oh we should have text oh we should have oh i don't suppose we've got time to see such and such now. You're like, oh, we'll be cutting it fine if we go see them now.

Save that one for next time. I don't want to go see Laurie and Barbara. I haven't seen them in 40 years. In fact, I've never seen them. Scrolling through your feed. All right, we're not here to mince words. Just read them out. But sometimes we can't read them.

We do make mincemeat of them. But, Ben, what's happening in the news? Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern, you might have seen this over the weekend, showing off her cake-making skills for daughter Niamh's fourth birthday, which was last week. In the past, partner Clark Gayford has made the cake. Last year, I think he made one with a screen, remember that? And then played some of Niamh's favourite shows and movies on the cake.

Oh, that's right. It was pretty impressive. Not edible, though, the iPad screen. No. No, we did talk to him about it. Apparently it took him hours, six hours. Well, this year, Jacinda Ardern said, it was my turn to make the birthday cake,

or what she's come to know as the stress bomb, as many parents will relate to. And she said, after several disasters underneath, a lot of icing, this was the result. And it was a lovely ladybug, where everything was edible except for the eyes. She couldn't work out how to do that, so she resorted to Sharpie on lollipops.

But it looked really cute, a cute little ladybug. Oh, she vivided the lollipop. We definitely don't want to be giving any like, can I have a look at the cake, Ben, on your computer screen? Oh, if you want to. It's pretty impressive. Is it good? Yeah.

Go to the bloody cheesecake shop, mate. Well, yeah. Cakes and desserts from the cheesecake shop. Sorry. They've got magnificent cakes there, too, and this is not an ad for them. Yeah, yeah. Cakes and desserts from the cheesecake shop. Sorry. They've got magnificent cakes there, too. And this is not an ad for them. Yeah, but...

Didn't you eat a whole one on the way back? I did eat an entire cheesecake on the motorway on the way home. What? I was meant to bring a cake home for dessert.

The family was coming over and I started on it. Oh, wow. She's done a fantastic job. Yeah, that's a good job, eh? That's straight out of that cookbook, the cake cookbook from yesteryear.

Oh, the Woman's Weekly, yeah. You get so excited about that. When you were a kid, you'd be like, oh, I want that one. I was like, can I get the train? And Mum would always try and talk me out of the train. I never got the train either. That looked like a lot of work. She'd be like, oh, we could get the train, but don't you love her, you know,

swimming in a green-yellow pool? Oh, that was real with the chocolate sticks, the fingers around the outside. Not really, but it always looked quite toxic green, that pool, didn't it? It did, yeah. Like, that was the one with the chocolate sticks, the fingers around the outside. Not really, but... Yeah. It was quite toxic green, that pool, didn't it? It did, yeah. Like, you put a bit of chlorine in it.

It was blue jelly's a thing. Like, I don't know why it was a green sort of... The pH levels were all off on that. The soccer ball was another popular one, too. Many birthday parties I attended with the soccer ball.

Yeah. But, God, that must have been stressful for parents. Yeah. I want this cake! It was like something out of, you know, New Zealand's Next Top Baker or something.

And the government has spent more than $1 billion on 180 million, 180 million COVID rapid antigen tests. How's that? So there was something that was on the news this morning. There's some photos of them all stored in a warehouse. Now the rush, the initial rush, has now sort of subsided.

Things have gone down and they reckon there's about 5 million sitting in an undisclosed warehouse in Christchurch. And this is just for the South Island. Well, disclose it so someone can break in and take them. 5 million is like, hey, we may have overordered, guys. But no, no, I'll take you back to that time, because remember, companies were ordering their own ones.

And then the government's like, no, no, we're going to come in and do it. And we all lost our marbles about that. And the companies were up in arms. And the government obviously got a bit too trigger happy. They're like, we'll show those companies. We'll over-order them. There was even an article on NZ Herald's homepage. And it was like, the plane's landed.

It's carrying all these rapid-action chairs. Oh, that's right. And we're like, oh, my God, yeah, the plane's here. Give us some. Give us some. We need some. And now everyone's like, yeah, no, there's heaps around. So there's 5 million in the South Island alone.

Oh, I went into Chemist Warehouse on Thursday, and the poor security guard, his job was stacking them on a pyramid, like in the middle of the shop floor, like kind of, please take these. We don't know what to do. Well, I mean, they're still getting used, but I think they've overordered it. Like a rat pyramid. Hoping today will start well. Too late.

You're listening to these guys. Jono and Ben on the hits. I'd like to do something on a Monday morning that's motivated you for the week ahead. Yeah, it's like our version, the audio version of one of those weird seminars where we'd be on stage all jacked up with a microphone that's wrapped around our head but just sits in front of our mouth, you know, on your face. One of those face microphones. Have you ever done one of those seminars that you do them?

I remember holidaying in the Gold Coast once. They always try and get you in for like, they're like, half price discount to go to the theme park, but you've got to sit through a timeshare presentation first. And that makes me nervous because I'm like, I'd love to get the half price. I love saving money. But then I'm like, I couldn't imagine I didn't sign up for a timeshare.

You don't want to go thirds on an apartment. Yeah. Because I find it hard to say no to people. So I feel like I'd end up going, yeah, I got a timeshare now, guys, because I wanted.

You know? So I'm like, no, no, no. I don't need these tickets because I'm just worried about... Has anyone... I've never been to one. No, I'm with you. Text 4487.

Has anyone actually been to one of those timeshare seminars? Because I imagine it'd be very hard to say no in that situation because you because you're like oh you've had the half price you enjoyed yeah you enjoyed that roller coaster yeah it comes at a cost now and this is it but i just want to it's your new three bedroom apartment and you're spending your holiday going for three or four hours at a timeshare presentation i know know. I'm dead right, Ben. I'm the same as you. I'm too polite to say no.

So I'm like, at the start, I've just got to cut it off. It's like, no, no, no thanks. We're fine. My wife, I'd come out and be like, oh yeah, we've got an apartment.

My wife, well, you what? But we've got to go to the movie world for half price. Anyway, Motivational Monday. Today, our dear friend Steve Harvey, well, he's not our dear friend. Don't even know the guy. But I feel like we know him

because we've watched so many of his motivational... Now, he's the guy who fronts Family Feud in America. And I think, from what I gather, he had a really interesting pathway to his success where he was homeless. He was living out of his car, showering in bathrooms of hotels, etc., etc. And I think before each taping of Family Feud he must sit the audience down and give them like a pep talk sort of thing. And you can tell

everyone in the background of the crew is like, Harvey's banging on with his motivational... They actually really inspire. Have a listen to this one. If you decide that you will be poor, there's nothing I can do. You're going to be poor. If you decide to be rich today who gonna stop you

who if you decide you want to be rich all you gotta do is start why not who gonna stop you unless you tell it to the wrong person there you go so the recipe to getting rich is just decide you're gonna be rich today start down so while you're to getting rich is just decide you're going to be rich. Today, start. Start. So while you're driving to work, you know, decide you're going to be rich. Go tell your boss. Yeah. They'll probably give you a pay rise.

Yeah. Simple as that. I don't know why more people don't do it. Yeah. Maybe I will get that timeshare after all. Spy. Know what's up. Spy.co.nz.

Now we proudly present some news about famous people that will impact your life in no way at all. Belle, what's going on, mate? Maybe over the long Matariki weekend you may have seen the new Elvis movie. We went and saw it. I know Ben's seen it already. It was incredible. A Baz Luhrmann special. A little bit long, but that's what you expect

from movies these days, right? Yeah, there's a lot of articles over the weekend I've been reading about questioning some of the things, whether that's true or not how much I guess creative license they've taken on Elvis' story but I found some of the the fact that he never toured

outside America which seems true just mind blowing for him to be so huge so that was true but some other things have been questioned

because his shady manager right had snuck into America and so if he left he wouldn't be able to get back in that's why he kept Elvis restrained in the States.

I haven't seen it. I'm just regurgitating what you told me. Is he good, though, the guy who plays Elvis? I thought Austin Butler, the actor who plays Elvis, did a really good job. He really just took on this persona. Even his voice now, he just permanently sounds like Elvis. I keep asking people, is this my voice? It's one of those things that certain things trigger it.

When you live with something for two years and you do nothing else, I think you can't help but it becomes a fibre of your being. He was actually rushed to hospital after they finished filming. It was such an intense role to play. He had symptoms of appendicitis. He was exhausted, so he had to go get some treatment after he finished. He was exhausted playing Elvis for had to go get some treatment after he finished. He was exhausted playing Elvis for two years. Imagine being Elvis!

It sounded like they really put him through his paces, though. Baz Luhrmann, the director, did an intensive workshop with him when he didn't have the role, and then it was five months later. He was like, oh, I didn't get the role. He obviously thought in his head, and it was five months later he got a phone call going, guess what? You've got it! He passed the Elvis test. Oh, five months

ago! do you remember those weird places for months yeah oh yeah vaguely yeah you've got it baby it's yours well you say harry styles badly wanted the role yeah really did too famous yeah that's what they thought he was already an icon so you know putting him as another icon wasn't gonna work uh and so how many uh how many ben stars out of five would you give it because you're always very favourable to every movie I'll give it

four stars four and a half stars out of five that's his lowest rating yet what a monster he must have hated it I'd give it four I reckon

it's pretty good yeah it's pretty incredible like it's all Ben could never be an impartial movie reviewer because he likes getting free movie tickets

I do Don't say that This one's a great movie, you're right Five stars for everything Also over the weekend, Glastonbury may have seen some performances on your socials You had the Rolling Stones playing yesterday Also, Paul McCartney brought a special guest on stage

A little surprise here for you. John Lennon? No, not John Lennon. Wait for it. That would be a surprise. I've read your hero from the west coast of America. Dave Grohl. Dave Grohl.

Yeah. Dave Grohl, wow. Yeah, so cool. And Bruce Springsteen as well. Yeah. Yeah. It looked like an amazing line-up. You had Fleetwood Mac.

I know Neil Finn was over there, wasn't he, with Crowded House? Yeah. Does he still play in Fleetwood Mac? He was filling in for a while, wasn't he? And I think there was a huge sing-along in Glastonbury, one of Crowded House's songs I saw over the weekend. Hey now. Hey.

Yeah, that one, yeah. Every time we've interviewed Neil Finn, I have been terrified. You know, he's kind of got that thing of like, you don't want to upset him. But he's lovely. He's lovely, yeah. But I just feel like he's too good for our show. He's too good for us.

And not that he gives that impression. We just think, oh, we shouldn't be talking to him. This is a waste of time. And I don't want to upset him. He swore once live on radio. That's right. He's like, is this live? And we said yes.

And then he proceeded to go drop F-bombs. He's still funny. He can do what he wants. Wow. That hits. This is the Jono and Ben podcast. You got left a message on your phone, but it was for both of us.

A very scary message over the weekend. Terrifying. Yeah. Terrifying. Now, if you didn't want to owe $20 to anyone in this country who would that person be who would that person be it would be twenty dollar karen yeah now karen rose to uh notoriety about seven years ago where she accidentally left a voicemail on someone's

phone who owed her twenty dollars we don't even know what the twenty dollars was for no we're not don't know what the uh. She really wanted that $20 back and she was going to give 20 effing wax to the person if she didn't get the money back. That's right. Now,

Queen's birthday weekend, we celebrated by giving away Green Queen's $20 notes to everyone who made it to air on the Friday and we thought,

well, who better to give $20 to than $20 Karen? She deserves it. So we phoned her up. We said, hey, we've got $20 for you. She was happy. All was well. However, this message came through

at 12.15am on Sunday morning. Welcome to the voicemail service. You have one new voice message and two saved voice messages. First new voice message received today at 12.11am. Hello, this is Karen.

And John O and Ben think they can hide from me for the 20 lousy dollars they owe me since Queen's birthday weekend. Unbelievable. They rang me up and they said, Oh, we know somebody who needs $20 and we'll give it to you because the Queen's face is on the $20 note. Well, I'm still waiting

for my $20 lousy $$$. And Joe and Ben, now watch out because I want my $20 or they will get $20

wax. H. Yes, H. How dare will get 20 rocks each. Yes, each. How dare they ring me up and promise me this and promise me that. When they worked on the other radio stations, they were going to give me this, they were going to give me that.

And I've never, ever received one thing that they say they'll give me. So, Jono and Ben, let this be the warning. You better f***ing deliver. Okay? Right. I think I'll hear from you very soon.

Bye. Message saved. There are no more messages. Bye. So I feel like she wants to buy it. How do we not pay Karen? Oh, this is pure. I'm putting this down to administrative slip-ups.

You're right. Of all the people we should have paid, we owe Karen 20 bucks. This is brilliant. Anyway, so that's what came through over the weekend. So I feel like we need to pay her a bit. Yeah, I think we do. We need to give Karen her $20. Otherwise, 20 whacks each.

It's happening. If you don't want two guys talking at you all morning, too late. They're here. Jono and Ben on the hits. I got lost in a bit of an internet hole over the weekend and social media being something that you like to dabble in, don't you? From time to time. I'm trying to get my head around social media

sometimes. Every time I think I do, I don't. You're pretty good at it, aren't you? I know, but then you talk to someone And they're like, don't use Facebook And then I read something the other day And they go, Facebook is massive, it's huge This is the article I got lost in Bill, you're very good at social as well But basically, did you know

The world population is 7.7 billion 4.4 billion people use the internet, which means there's 3.3 who have never been on the internet. 3.3 billion people. Never been on the internet, Ben. Wow. I think my parents are a couple of those. Yeah. But that's amazing, isn't it?

But on average, people spend 142 minutes on social media every day. On average? On average. That's on average. That's quite a lot. That's a lot. 142 minutes. Off and on, obviously,

not consecutively. Facebook, you were just talking about. 500,000 new users sign up to Facebook every day. Half a million people every day.

Yeah. That's crazy. Six new profiles are created Every second on Facebook Think of the second now Six new profiles mate Think of this again, another one 95 million photos

A day are uploaded to Instagram 90 millions Of those are my influencer posts Selling my weight loss pills And collagen tablets. More than 40 billion photos have been shared so far on Instagram. How many of those are Ben pointing at things? For tourist attractions, products.

Yeah, it's clogging up. I mean, we're clogging up a lot of these systems. Well, that was interesting. We were talking about it the other day. It's like all this stuff has to be stored somewhere, right? Delete it. Just do a control or delete of the internet, and we'll start again. Most liked Instagram post is 54.2 million likes.

It's just a photo of an egg. I think that became something viral to get the most liked post. Yeah, it became a thing. And everyone's like, oh, God, I like this thing, just so it could be the most popular thing on Instagram. Yeah, the became a thing and everyone's like, oh God, I like this thing just so it could be the most popular thing on Instagram. Yeah, I could just

have a photo of my head. We could have got some likes, baby. We could have. And YouTube, two billion people watch YouTube every day. Two billion.

Mate. Social media facts. What do you reckon of those, Bill? Yeah, pretty good. Pretty good from you, yeah. Let's not do the stats on this radio Bill? Yeah, pretty good. Yeah, they were good. Pretty good from you, yeah. Let's not do the stats on this radio show.

Let's just pretend it's up there with those. It's wild though, isn't it? It is incredible. An inseparable duo. Unless someone better shows up, he's just going to replace with Lee Hart and or Vaughan Smith. Jono and Ben on the hits. Oh, Ben, I just said I had to do a really big clean-up

in the centre of town on saturday uh i took my son oscar he went to a basketball trial oh nice and you know he loves his basketball oh he's obsessed yeah now he made me buy the bloody steph curry master class which i'll get into at a later date i'll just be moaning to these guys about how much i accidentally purchased master class for but anyway that's now it's not the time you're moaning a while guys about how much I accidentally purchased Masterclass for. But anyway, now's not the time. I remember you moaning a while ago how you accidentally got the whole year's worth of NBA coverage as well too. I don't know.

You need to look through the T's and C's when you sign over. You know what I'm like. I'm just click, click, click, click, put it in. You're like, I played for the whole season. Yeah, you can just do game by game or monthly. Maybe I should be a bit more patient. But anyway, so yeah, talking to a basketball player. And I've said to you before, I suffer from migraines.

Years of migraines. Because you don't eat during the day, but anyway, that's my theory. So I remember my very first migraine as a child, and it was after I had a chocolate milkshake. And because you get blurry eyes, and then that calms down, then you just get the world's worst headache. And a lot of the times you end up expelling fluid from your body, Ben. Oh, jeez.

And I've never been able to have a chocolate milkshake since that day. Oh, really? You know how much I loved chocolate milkshakes? Haven't been able to taste them since, mate. But anyway, so I was at the basketball and I was like, oh, dear God, I'm getting the blurry eyes. And a lot of the times I don't. You know, I don't have to vomit. But then on Saturday

I had to. So I ran out to the foot. This is the centre of town. Pitt Street. With YMCA there. I run out. 11.30 Saturday morning. This sounds like an elaborate excuse but anyway, you built this whole backstory but you carry on.

Boom! A little fictitious tale. Boom! All over the pavement. I ranictitious tale boom all over the pavement i ran i was like boom all over the pavement i could tell people like driving past going it's 11 30 on a sunday morning why is this guy and uh obviously afterwards i could i had to be a responsible citizen i was like oh someone needs to clean this up yeah that someone needs to be me i'm not gonna i'm not gonna pay someone to do that. Yeah, not going to get back inside the wash. Someone's done out there. I'll clean this up a bit.

So I was searching around for a bucket and I had a little drink bottle so I went across to the alcohol shop, bought a little bottle of water. Oh, the comedian. There was an alcohol shop. Just anyway. Cross the road. And I kept filling it up from the tap and washing. Had you been to the alcohol shop before you involved as well?

I knew he would do this. I've had migraines. All right? 15 years ago, 3 o'clock in the morning, maybe. Not now, Ben. Sensible guy. Family friendly, yeah. Family friendly guy.

And so I eventually got a bucket, ended up washing it away. And as I'm doing it halfway through, lovely lady pushing a supermarket trolley with all their belongings in it. She came up and she's like, don't bother doing that. You should say my mate was peeing there the other day. She's like, you don't have to clean that up. Just let the rain do it. I was like, well, I've done all the heavy lifting now. She's like, what happened?

You want a drink? Do you want something to calm the nerves? I said, no, no, I've got a migraine. She's like yeah okay buddy she was taking my theory on it so that's how it happened okay that's how it happened mop it so if you did see me mopping up anything on the footpath in the center of town you now know the story you know the back story i could feel judgment yeah like i'm feeling judgment from you hard-hitting interviews and informed opinion.

Mike Hosking on Newstalk ZB. In the meantime, Jono and Ben on the hits. New Zealand's conducted its first ever wine census and it reveals some surprising wine crimes that many New Zealanders do. And to tell us more about this, she's from Wine Friend. It's Yvonne Lorcan. Good morning. Hello, how are you?

We were just having a discussion during the song. Ben was like, do you prefer Yvonne's Yvonne Lorcan. Good morning. Hello, how are you? We were just having a discussion during the song. Ben was like, do you prefer Yvonne or Yvonne? Do you know what? It's Yvonne, but I've been called lots of things. I've been called Yvonne, the Yvonne, Yavonne, Yavonne. Oh, like Yavonne.

Yvonne, Yvonne. Yvonne, Yvonne, however you like to be called. You're a wine expert and they've just conducted New Zealand's first ever wine census. So you're a wine, do we call you a wino? What do we call you? Well, I'm the chief tasting officer at winefriends.co.nz. So yeah, you can call me a wino, you could call me a wine expert or just like wine fan.

A chief tasting officer, that's a job. Yeah, I'm a CTO. Now, the survey has uncovered some amazing things. We want to sort of pick apart some of the things that really interest us. So 5% of people in the survey, this is New Zealanders, have admitted to attempting to make homemade bubbly by putting their wine in the soda stream. Now, this is something, as a wine expert, that can...

Does this work? Well, it depends on what your version of working is. Because it's like wine is different to water, and normally you're putting your soda stream into your bottle of water, right? Put it into wine, it's a whole different density, and it's going to explode if you're if your canister

is fresh out of briscoes, you know, and it's full to the brim. I have a question did those 5% of New Zealanders know it was an option not to admit that they had put wine into a soda stream? Do you know what, I wondered that as soon as it went out I thought, oh

maybe we've done something really bad. Like one in ten people are fessed up to heating wine in the oven or microwave. Over half the people, now I have to admit I have done this, Googled the price of a bottle of wine they were gifted. Yeah. You did? Yeah. You can't help yourself, right?

Offered to re-gift. Like offered to re-gift. Offer to re-gift. I'm like, what's this worth? Oh, I look like I've spent quite a lot on this person. I'll do this. What is that, Cheechdra? Yeah, because you don't want to look like a cheapskate. It's so easy these days.

You just Google it and there it is. Do you know what he does, Yvonne? If he's got a quarter of a bottle left, he will take that to someone's dinner. Well, I did that once. My wife was like, you can't bring over an open bottle of wine to someone's dinner. I was friends with her. I was good friends. I was like, that's fine.

But apparently it's a no-no. It is a bit of a no-no, but it depends on the friend. I mean, I've been known to do that. What I do, though, is if it's a half full bottle of wine, I front up there and go, oh, look, this was so great. I just tasted it before just to check that it was brilliant before I brought it to you. That's good.

I tasted it, you drank half the bottle. On the other end of the evening, at the end of a dinner, are you allowed to take your leftovers away with you? No. No? No? You've got to leave it there as a gift? I think so. Another thing Ben's done? Tell you what, what I did do, because I've been trying to change my ways now.

And so one time I did splurge out. I actually paid for a really nice bottle of wine, and I brought it over to friends thinking we'd all enjoy it together. I was like, hey, look, I bought the wine. They went, that's great. And I watched my mate take it and put it in his cupboard as he was like, we've already got wine open. And I was Googling under the table how much his wine was compared to mine.

It was less. That's so bad. That is so bad. That's happened to me. That has happened to me. And here we go. Here comes back to our argument. If you bring your wine and it's already opened, they have to taste it.

They have to drink it. So there you go. Now he's got an argument. Oh, Ravon, it was lovely talking to you today and lovely talking through some of the wine crimes that Kiwis are committing with their love of wine. Absolutely. Nice talking to you.

That hits. This is the Jono and Ben podcast. Huge protests and uproar in the USA over the weekend as the Supreme Court ruled in favour of eliminating a woman's right to abortion, a right that's been in place since 1973. It's now going to be decided state by state. And it seems like such a sad backward step

for a woman's right to choose what she does with her body. We're joined right now by One News US-based reporter Anna Burns-Francis to try and explain what the heck is going on. Kia ora, good morning. Kia ora, good morning from the land of the not so free. I know. Absolutely not brave. It seems like such a backward step, but a really sad day that not just in America, but right around the world. Yeah, because people look to America, right? This is supposed to be

the home of freedom and rights and pushing the boundaries of things, you know, capitalism and tech companies and amazing, pushing the limits of space and stuff. And then we're like, what has just happened? We've gone back how many decades? 31 million women have immediately already over the weekend lost their right to obtain an abortion in their state. The thing I can't get my head around is obviously Joe Biden. He's the president. He's come out and said it was a sad day. And I was reading something that said that the majority of Americans, when you look at it, don't want this.

So how does it happen that the Supreme Court gets to make that decision for the rest of the country? This is a terrible clash in American politics where the popular vote does not dictate who gets into power. So you had a president under Trump who didn't win the popular vote, but was in power. And then through a series of resignations and deaths, he happened to appoint three in his term, three really conservative Supreme Court justices who have these very conservative, hard right-wing, very religious beliefs. And they all sit there in their confirmation hearings and say,

we of course can't, you know, precedent exists, we're not going to overturn anything. And then they immediately do as soon as they have the opportunity to do so. And that's the problem is now, how do you reverse these sorts of things? You actually need to change the entire makeup of the way America votes its politicians into power. And so you were mentioning, obviously, certain states can put this law into effect. So, for example, California, do they vote and decide whether they're going to put it into play or it's just a decision from officials? So, I mean, without going into like a massive retrospective of American politics around women's health care, basically every state has had a position on this for some years.

And over the last decade, a lot of those states that you're now seeing ban abortion already had these laws ready to go and they were already fighting them in court it's just that roe versus wade meant that all these courts were saying no no no roe versus wade exists you can't do this to women now that that precedent's been overturned all of these laws can suddenly come into effect so you've really seen this quite strong split and actually if you put it on a map is where you really get a picture of it basically draw a big red crayon straight through the middle of the country from top to bottom. Those are all the states that are banning or have already banned abortion. And then on either side of the country, anywhere with a coastline that goes out to, you know, left and right on the east and west, those are the states that are now

shoring up their abortion laws. And so that means they're kind of putting in these safe havens, they're building funds to allow women to travel. Yeah, so nothing's stopping a woman leaving one state where it's banned and going to one where she can have an abortion. Well, on paper, I hate to say it, these states are absolutely trying to stop you doing that. And they are going to punish people or threatening to punish people who try to

cross state lines. That in itself becomes an issue, right? Because you can't tell a woman that she's not allowed to leave the state. She doesn't have to tell you why she wants to travel. And then also that becomes state overreach. This is where the Department of Justice sort of says, well, hang on, that's state overreach. You can't be telling New York that it can't help people from Texas sort of thing. So this is where it's going to get so messy because the Supreme Court said, okay, Roe v. Wade's thrown out, punts it back to all the states, but doesn't actually provide any guidance on how this is supposed to play out. Yeah, it seems like in those states, any pregnancy loss can be now investigated as a crime.

And they may go into, like, searching histories, browsing history, text messages, all that sort of stuff, which just seems... Totally. And people will say to you, don't be ridiculous. Actually, go and have a look at some countries that have really restrictive abortion laws. That's exactly what happens. And it first starts off with prosecuting the women or the doctors and the nurses and the support staff who help provide this health care. And then it trickles down and suddenly the women themselves the doctors and the nurses and the support staff who help provide this health care and then it trickles down and suddenly the women themselves find themselves

executed it absolutely happened one news reporter anna burns francis with us from new york now anna on a personal note uh you're living over there you're based over there how do you feel about it i feel it's really hard i feel really really sad, actually. I feel really a bit, everyone just feels a bit depressed and a bit deflated that this is where we are. And even in New York, because you sort of think, OK, it's good, fine for me. I'm in New York. I'm OK. And as a New Zealander, I'm doubly OK. I've got another country I can escape to. But, you know, it's really, you feel really sad because this is not going to affect me this is

not even really going to affect all the women I see out at protests and rallies those are the people who can afford to fight for women's rights you know who can't the woman who works double shifts on the chicken line at a factory in Texas in El Paso who's just made it over the border and may not even have paperwork you know these are the women who have really tough life choices to make. And, you know, of those 13 trigger laws, this is the thing. They're banning abortion, but what are they doing to actually help once the child is born? Not a single one of those 13 states offers even a very basic level of paid parental leave. So this is all about control and about stopping women accessing

health care. This is not about ensuring that children are born into a protected and well-funded and educated health care and life system that they can grow up in and be happy and healthy and contributing members of society. That's not what is going to happen here. Do you think now that other laws may get looked at? Is that the worry? Absolutely. And it's not even a worry. It's been explicitly stated by Justice Thomas Clarence. He's the only African-American member on the judiciary of the Supreme Court on the bench. He has put out his own opinion. So there's a hierarchy. His was one of the opinions that was released, shoring up that majority position, believing that Roe v. Wade, this is the time to overturn it. And then he went that step further.

And he said on the basis that Roe v. Wade is overturned, every other law that has used that as a precedent and as a basis for arguing its constitutional rights. They're not laws, they're constitutional rights. And I should be clear about that. But all of those now need to be looked at. And you know what those are? That is same-sex relationships, same-sex marriage, access to contraception. These are huge, sweeping precedents that have dictated and guided the lives of tens of millions of Americans. They will be the next cases that get looked at.

This is just a stepping stone. Jeez. Dark day, sad times. Anna Burns-Francis in New York, really appreciate your time. You keep safe over there. Thanks, guys. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast, available on iHeartRadio.

Hey, this is Ed Sheeran. Jono and Ben's five words for five Eds. Ed Sheeran coming to New Zealand on his mathematics tour. It's got even bigger. There is now two concerts in both Wellington and Auckland. I saw he started the tour over the weekend. Wembley Stadium sold out. Brought out Sam Smith as well.

Bit of a surprise guest. It looked amazing. Circular stage in the middle of Wembley Stadium. Just looked incredible. So if you want to go see him, tickets on sale right now. The last tickets for the last gigs. You can get all the details

at the hitstock.nz. So he would have been competing with old Glastonbury as well. Still sells out a stadium. Yeah, true. Everyone would have been at Glastonbury. There's a lot of people

over there. My major fear if I was a cameo in a concert where they're like halfway through, I've got a special guest to bring out.

It's John O'Brien. And you go out and no one knows who you are. It's like a smattering. And you go out and no one knows who you are. They're like, ah. It's like a smattering. Well, they wouldn't. Did you hear?

I said it's this guy. No disrespect to you or me. If we came out and did a sharing concert, everyone would be like, who's this guy? Has he come to check the microphone or something? And we can't play any instruments. We're going to get Molly on from Auckland. How are you, Molly?

Really good. Thank you. You're a scientist. Yeah, I'm at Auckland Uni. You should be listening to RNZ or something far more superior than this program, but we appreciate you listening, Molly.

You'd love to go see Ed Sheeran? Yes, I'd love to go see Ed Sheeran. You and nine others. That's a lot. That's a burden to try and find ten people. You'd be pretty cool. Oh no, I made it awkward. We both did at the same time. That's a burden to try and find 10 people. You'd be pretty popped. No, I'd be... Oh, no, I made it awkward.

We both meant at the same time. Anyway, let's just charge the chase. Who do you want to send into the soundproof booth? Jono or Ben? Jono, please. All right. I'm eating it. Jono heading on over there.

You know how the game works, obviously. What pops into your head when I say these words? Perfect. Thank you. And the first word this morning is, funnily enough, Ed. Ed, E-D. Ed Sheeran. Ed Sheeran.

Seems like the obvious one. Fano is the second word. Fano? Family. Family. Clutter. C-L-U-T-T-E-R. Clutter.

Miss. Miss. I think a good game so far, Molly. Gown. G-O- far, Molly. Gown. G-O-W-N. Gown. Ball. Ball, gown.

And suitcase. I feel like I'm matching all with you all so far. But anyway, suitcase is the final one. Travel. Travel. You happy with your words? Yeah, no, I'm happy. Thank you.

I think you did really well. We'll get Jono out of the soundproof booth and see if we can match all five words and send you and nine other people to Ed Sheeran. Yeah. Did you use science? Did you pull any science? Putting your science into that, Molly?

No, not too technical, hopefully. Have you seen Ed Sheeran play before? Years ago, but it was a much smaller concert. So, yeah, I'm excited for the big stadium. That'd be awesome. Did he come here and play a small concert, did he? I think when, like, early days,

like, Drunken, that album. Oh, right, okay. Oh, there you go. He's been here many times. I think last time he pretty much lived here for about five years, playing about 98 gigs in Dunedin, but anyway, let's try and... Hope he got. But anyway, let's try and get Molly these 10 tickets. Jono, the first word, funnily enough, is Ed. Ed.

It'd be remiss of me not to say Sharon. Well done. I was going to say Ed Hardy. Remember those gorgeously loud T-shirts back in the day? That's been a good throwback. Fado is the second word. Family. Yeah, well done.

Clutter. Clutter. Clutter. I say for clutter. Mess. Now, I reckon one is a gimme and one is a tricky one. Do you want the tricky or the gimme? No, well, what do you reckon, scientist?

What should we go first, Molly? Let's go gimme first. All right. But it might not be. I mean, there are other options, but I'm going to say gown. G-O-W-N. Where should we go first, Molly? Let's go gimme first. All right. But it might not be. I mean, there are other options, but I'm going to say gown. G-O-W-N, gown. Dressing.

Dressing gown. Oh, I thought that was a good one. Ball gown. Oh, ball gown. Oh, no. Oh, you gave me the gimme and I ruined the game. You did. I messed up the gimme. Oh, let's see if you've got the hard one.

Suitcase. Luggage? Oh, I had you've got the hard one. Suitcase. Luggage? I had a good feeling about that one. I'm so sorry. Molly? It's okay. Thank you so much, guys. You've been a champion.

Thank you for listening. Appreciate it. Thank you. All good stuff. Good stuff. It was all good stuff. It was all good stuff. Dan, we've got your chance to win these tickets again tomorrow.

They've got to be won. Yeah. It's 7.5 tomorrow. We can't be giving them away after the show's been. Voted most likely not to be voted for anything. Jono and Ben on the hits. Of course, on Friday was New Zealand's first public

holiday for Matariki, which was awesome. Yeah, wonderful. Wonderful. We're saying having the Friday off made the weekend feel longer, Ben. Did you, because you went to Wellington to see your father, Kevin Boyce. Yeah, wonderful. Wonderful saying, having the Friday off made the weekend feel longer, Ben. Did you, because you went to Wellington to see your father, Kevin Boyce. Yeah, I did. The respected Kevin Boyce, school principal of almost everyone in New Zealand. Like, you get more people coming up to you, not even talking about radio or TV,

talking about your dad and how he taught them. Yeah, yeah. Oh, but your dad was my teacher and dad was, yeah, yeah. So a lot of people come up to see Dad. But yes, Matariki, the very first Matariki. And I Googled over the weekend how many public holidays we have in New Zealand. In total, and this I'm getting to my fun game that I play by myself and had a lot of fun, and you'll have just as much fun.

We have 11 public holidays in total. That's extraordinary. 11 nationally. That's not even factoring in your local anniversary. So you lop those in 12. Oh, right. Okay. Why don't we spread them all out?

Have one a month. You could have one, you know, a long weekend per month because we stockpile them up the top end of the year. It does seem to happen a lot at the start of the year, doesn't it? The businesses, I don't know, I never know how businesses

themselves feel about this. Employees love them, but businesses. Yeah. I was talking to my friend who owns a sheet metal business. Had to pay for six staff on Friday. Yeah.

They weren't doing anything. There was no sheet being metalled. Yeah, exactly. But yeah, here's the fun game is can you name all 11 public holidays, national public holidays, don't go drilling down on the anniversaries,

from start to finish in order? Oh, from the start to the first of the year? Start, yeah. Okay, so we're starting with New Year's Day, obviously. Boom, there's one. Okay, now, Belle, are you going to help out here as well? We have the day after New Year's, don't we? The second is a public holiday.

Yes, well done. There's two. Okay, and then you're getting into the, what's the January? Waitangi. Waitangi, the day after this? The second is a public holiday. Yes, well done. There's two. Okay, and then you're getting into the, what's the January? Waitangi. Waitangi. Bang, there's number three. We have an anniversary somewhere around there,

but you said don't worry about those? Yeah. Waitangi, 6th of February. Cush your lips. Okay, so then we're heading, oh, this is fun. Easter. We're going to Easter in Anzac. Now, we're going Easter first, it would be Good Friday then. Yes.

And then Good Sunday. Easter Monday. Easter Monday, which is off to Sunday. And then Good Sunday. It's the Monday. It's the Monday, which is off to Sunday. All just good stuff. Thank you, Jesus. Amen. Good Monday. Okay.

And then would you have Anzac Day? Yes. After that? Well done. Are we heading Queen's Birthday? Yes. Yes. Matariki?

Yes. Oh, okay. Now we're mid-year. We're headed mid-year. We've just had this. Now the next one. It's bleak time. Now we're really digging it in now, isn't it?

I can give you a clue, if you'd like a clue. Are we heading towards, are we going Labor Day? Yes. And then are we heading back into Christmas Day, Boxing Day? Boxing Day. Is that it? We did it. Are you proud of us?

I'm proud of you both. We did it right, actually. We did it right. In order to. That was fun. Fun we go. Fun we go. Yes.

Yes. I love when you're on the chase to be a bit more like, yes. We did alright In order to That was fun Fun we go Fun we go Yes Now I love when Roshan the Chase Used to be a bit more like Yes Yes Come on Yes

The over enthusiastic host That's it You can do it So I was thinking Of pitching that To the Neoworks As a show It's a very short show

It's just It's just one episode And then it's the Yes Yes You got it. The Hits Boarding Call with South Australia Travel. This is an amazing family adventure to South Australia,

including flights, accommodation, rental car hire, and activities. We've already given away one family adventure to one lucky family here in New Zealand, and now we're about to give away another one. That's all thanks to South Australian Tourism. You can get all the details at southaustralia.co.nz to start planning your journey. I'm going to miss this music.

This has been so jazzy, this sexy bass line, Ben. We're going to go through to our winner now. Did you know Adelaide has the third most expensive building in the world. Oh, really? What's that building? $2.7 billion. It's the Royal Adelaide Hospital. They spent $2.7 billion.

Third most expensive building in the world. Far out. Top three. You think of all the buildings in the world. Yeah. How expensive they are. Yeah, in the top three. Jeez.

Hello, this is Colleen. Colleen. Hi. three jeez hello this is colleen colleen how does an unadulterated no strings attached prize to south australia sound oh my god that sounds so amazing it does it does and you it does you've won you've won you are going on a family adventure to south australia oh my god i can't believe it. Oh, my God, that's so awesome. Oh, that's amazing. Oh, you've got flights, you've got accommodation, you've got rental car hire,

you've got some amazing activities, cruising on the river, you've got a sunset, a dinner. I mean, it's incredible stuff on there. That is absolutely so amazing. Oh, my God, I can't believe it. Who are you taking, Colleen? Oh, I have to take my kids with me.

You don't have to take, but it would be good because it is a family adventure. Obligation. Oh, yeah. How many in the whānau? Are you going to have to make any culling decisions? No, definitely no culling decisions there. We can all go. It will be perfect.

Did you know Adelaide, South Australia, they call it a 20-minute city. You want to get anywhere in the city, it'll take you 20 minutes from any location. How fantastic. It's a place I've always wanted to go but never been. Did you know Adelaide? The only city in Australia not settled by convicts.

Not built on criminals. Ironically, they're kicking all our ones out now, isn't it? Well done, well done. Oh, that's awesome. When was the last time you were overseas? Three years ago, I guess. My daughter and I were meant to go and, of course, COVID struck. So, yeah, it's been a long time. Oh, so, yeah, probably five years

ago. Oh, Colleen, I can imagine you with a salve in your hand, one of those straw hats that they would give you on a vineyard, kicking back, watching the kids frolic through the vines and sucking back on a salve. Sounds perfect. Sounds pretty awesome.

Well, well done. You really enjoyed that family adventure. Awesome. Thank you so much. That's awesome. Great way to start your week. Do you want to cry? Yeah.

Do some crying. Just a little bit at the end. You can't force the, you know, like if it happens, it happens, Jono. Just a little. What have you got there, Colleen? Pardon? Got a little tear? Yeah, I think so.

She's just saying. Jono wants, like he's the soulless radio announcer and wants some audible tears. But it's like, don't force it. It's not what happens, Jono. It's like. Audible tears, Colleen. You might be a silent crier. Make it loud.

Make it count. I might be an ugly crier. That's not good. Colleen, well done. You can treat yourself to South Australia with non-stop flights from Auckland to Adelaide, flying Air New Zealand. Looks like an incredible place to visit. You're very lucky. Very, very lucky. Thank you so much.

They've got pranks. They've got puns. Now they just need some actual listeners. Jono and Ben on the hits. Briscoes, we want to hear your kitchen mishaps with Kitchen Ref. It's a wee game we're playing at the moment. So what happened in the kitchen? What was your disaster?

And you can register at thehits.co.nz. We'll pick two people, and then we decide which one gets a $500 Briscoes voucher. Now, usually we're joined by the Briscoes lady, but she's feeling 40% off her usual self, and she's a bit under the weather, so she's going to be back next Monday. But we're going to head to Invercargill now. It's our old mate Ashley. How are you?

Not too bad, thanks. Awesome. Now, is it cold in Inver? You must be chill. Oh, it's so cold. Like, next-level cold. Like, my hands are, like, aching. Finally a southern person who admits they're cold.

Yeah. You know, you're all too storch. I'm not a true southern, though. I'm a camp ab, remember? Ah, right. I'm a bit biased. Hey, we're talking kitchen mishaps. What happened to you?

Well, so anyone who knows me will know that I am not that great in the kitchen, let's be fair. My husband's the cook like I'm the person that makes chicken glue like I genuinely one day put the flour and the water together in the wrong order and basically tried to put glue on our chicken baking baking is my thing and I can do it so this one particular day I got up had friends staying so it was a bit flustered out of my routine know. And I remember I had a shared morning tea at work. So I was like, shit, okay, I'll make my muffins. I know how to do that.

That's okay. Came to the kitchen, made my muffins. There was a measuring cup on the bench. Didn't really think anything off it. I was just like, maybe I didn't put it away. So I made these muffins. They were a little bit burnt. They weren't that great.

Took them to work. People seemed to eat them. That was fine. You still took them to work even though they were great. You were like, I'll take them to work. Well, to eat them. That was fine. You still took them to work even though they were great? You're like, I'll take them to work. Well, I kind of had to take something. They weren't horrific, but they weren't like, you know, you're not going to buy them in a bakery kind of situation.

People can battle on through these muffins. Yeah, exactly. I didn't think I'd kill anyone. And then I get home from work and my friend's quite panicked. And she's like, have you seen such and such as wee tooth? And I'm like, why would I have seen that? What do you mean? And she's like, it was on the bench in the wee measuring cup.

And I was like, oh, no. So I had baked a little child's baby tooth into my muffin and taken them to work. And I know from previous experiences of working at ACC, if you break your tooth on a tooth, it's not covered. So I started to have a wee panic. I'm like, but then I realised I've been eaten. The danger's over. And I was like, do I come clean? And I hate to say, I didn't give them all a wee email about the wee tooth

because I didn't want to feel awkward about that. So someone has eaten a child's tooth in your muffins? Yeah. Oh, my God. You're embarrassed to admit that. It's gone through their system. Now, can I ask you why you know the specific accident claim of you don't get money if you crack a tooth on a tooth?

I worked for ACC, and that's, like, one of the big things. People think if you bite into a pie and there's a screw in the pie, you'll get claimed. But, no, if you're using your teeth for their natural causes, which is eating, and even if there's a foreign object, you do not get a claim. That seems wild. It does seem wild.

Yeah, I thought it was wild. That's why I'll never say that. So if I bite this microphone right now and crack my front teeth, no money? No money. Yeah, but if a microphone turned up in a hamburger, sure. Anyway, that's not what we're here to talk about. But if Jono pushed Ben and he hit his

tooth on the microphone, then that would be covered because there was a tick bar, personal injury caused by accident. Okay, Ashley, you know your stuff, except for your cooking, which is terrible. It's atrocious. My mum disowned me. That's an amazing story. We'll see if we can beat that.

Okay, we're on line two. Kennedy, welcome from the Waikato, the kitchen mishap. What happened? I was used to chef at a restaurant in the Waikato, and I was chopping chilies for a garnish, and I'd quickly rinsed my hands off because I needed to go off to the bathroom. So I'd rinsed them off, went to the bathroom, and then you can probably just figure out what happened there.

It was very warm, and I had to sit with an ice pack for a couple of hours at least. Oh, so on your... Yeah. On the part of the body we're all thinking of? Yes. Oh, my goodness. What, just an ice pack?

For how many hours? A few hours I had to sit with one. Oh, my goodness. Did you... Were you holding it there? Did you tuck it in? Oh, I had to, like one. Oh, my goodness. Did you? Were you holding it there? Did you tuck it in? Oh, I had to, like, just sit on it sort of thing. Okay.

Oh, these are both amazing. I really wish the Briscoe's lady was there today because she normally judges these, and the pressure's on both of us now. They're both amazing calls. Listen, I'm just going to have to say, Kennedy, as much as I feel your pain and the anguish you went through with the two-hour ice pack situation on a part of the body

that no one wants an ice pack. Yeah. That sounds awful. It does. Yeah, Ashley's on that side. No good. But, Ashley, you making muffins and one of your colleagues swallowing a child's tooth.

It's going to take it out today. You win the $500 briscoe. Oh, thank you so much. Maybe come clean. Maybe I'll buy them all in prison and say, hey, guys, you might hate it too. That's why you've got this. Oh, thank you both. Both amazing calls.

Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Sorry, Kennedy. That hurts. This is the Jono and Ben podcast. I did a little bit of shopping with the family over the weekend, over the long weekend. My wife was, she's doing school reports. She's a school teacher.

She's teachers work. They're busy. I'm like, just cut and paste the reports, change the name. They're like, no, you can't do that. That's what I would do. I'd just be like, good, good, good, good. Not that good. Good, good, good.

I'm like, set up the ones with really good kids. You just cut and paste that one. Not too, you know, but no. Could improve. They really take a lot. And that's why they're, good. Tick, tick, tick. I'm like, set up the ones with really good kids and you just cut and paste that one. Yeah. Could improve. They really take a lot and that's why they're really good at their job because they actually care about what they're doing

and they put the extra effort in. Like, we would be shocking at teaching. People read these things but they do. They do. They put a lot of work into it. But you've got a good,

that's a good approach. Lump the kids into groups. Smart, okay, dumbasses. And then just, you're right, have three different versions of the report. Copy and paste. Apparently that won't wash. That won't wash the education board. The old hippo would be riding along a racehorse, wouldn't he?

So I'm not part of that. So my wife was doing some reports over the weekend while I went shopping with some of the family. And she's like, hey, if you do see this particular jersey that I wanted uh could you see if you could get it for me and this in the size and so we were going past the shop and i saw it and it was one of those occasions this happened to me before where you go try and find it and they're not the sizing's not on the shelf the only sizing is on the mannequin and so i don't know what the i never know the protocol like can you just whip the clothes off the mannequin oh do you want to slowly undress the mannequin? I didn't want to.

So I went up to the- It's all good when it's a pair of trousers you're trying to remove. I went up to the lady at the shop and I said, hey, I'd like to buy this thing for my wife. There's one on the mannequin. Hoping that she would go up and do it. She's like, yeah, just go up and take it off. And I don't know. For some reason, that feels really weird.

Are you on the shop window? By the shop window. And there I am, like, slowly. And I don't know. for some reason that feels really weird. Are you on the shop window? By the shop window. And there I am, slowly, and I don't know, how do you undress? And they've got the arms that sort of detach as well. I'm having to get a jersey over the top of American. They've got no top on underneath either. No, that's the thing. But they do have the appropriate shapes, don't they?

They do. So I'm slowly undressing the top, trying to get it over the head and not detach the arms and try not to make a scene. You've got to give the mannequin respect. Yeah. Hoping that no one will bug me. And then I hear this, excuse me. And I was like, oh, is there someone else in the shop?

And then I was like, are you Jono from Jono and Ben? I was like, this is one time that someone called me Jono from Jono and Ben. And you're like, yes, I am. Get that word out there. I am Jono from Jono and Ben. He's got a thing for undressing mannequins in public locations. I'll happily be called Jono this time and have a photo. I'm like, well, let's not put the naked mannequin,

half-naked mannequin in the back of the shot. But it's a weird, I don't know why it feels weird, because it's not a living thing, but you just feel like. Mannequin said there was that wonderful movie, I think, from the late 80s called Mannequin. Do you remember this? Where a guy walks into a store and it's a mannequin, but through some sort of witchcraft, the mannequin.

Oh, it's just come alive. And he falls in love with the mannequin. But then I think the mannequin, for me, would slip back into mannequin state. So he'd be on a date. He's having a free-flowing conversation. Boom. Is he on a date with a mannequin? Yeah.

Is that a true? Well, not a true story. No, Ben. No, Ben, it's not a free-flowing conversation. Boom. Is he on a date with a mannequin? Yeah. Is that a true story? No, Ben. No, Ben, it's not a true story. It wasn't a documentary. No, I mean, no. Sorry, I'll shut up now. The Hits. For more podcasts from The Hits Network,

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