Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: We Paid Someone's Rent For An Entire Year! Congrats to Catherine from Taranaki!

Episode Date: March 20, 2022

After 5 weeks of putting people in the draw and then drawing out 5 finalists, lucky Catherine ended up winning the prize of her rent being paid for 12 months, and it was such an awesome moment! We also heard from a woman who accidentally used haemorrhoid cream as toothpaste (good lord), and we learnt about which type of person is the most boring, according to science. (Let's hope it's not any of you!) Enjoy the poddy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's with the Jono and Ben podcast. Cool, this is the podcast intro. It's the 21st of March. My name is Jonathan Richard-Prior, joined by my dear friend Benjamin Ross-Boyce. Oh, is it? We're starting. Yeah, we're starting.

Full names and everything. Very official today. How are you? I'm doing all right. How are you doing? It was a very exciting but full-on morning where we gave away rent. You said that champagne thing,

I'm all right, how are you doing? Then let me say how I was doing. There you go. That's fine. How I'm alright, how are you doing? Let me say how I was doing. There you go. How are you doing? Do you find that though sometimes when you ask someone how they're doing and then they go into a long answer, you're like I really... When they say how you're doing, no one cares

how you're doing. Do they? Well, sometimes they do, but it feels like a situation where you're maybe having a beer or something and you're like, how are you doing? It feels like one of those moments. But other times when you're out and about in the day, you they do, but it feels like a situation where, yeah, you might be having a beer or something, and you're like, how are you doing? It feels like one of those moments, you know? But other times when you're out and about in the day, you're like, good day, mate, how are you doing? You're like.

Don't tell me. Please, whatever you do, don't tell me how you're doing. Yeah. Yeah. Well, when someone does open up, you're like, oh, jeez. Oh, God. Yeah. Yeah.

There's a few people like that as well. I notice, you know what I notice about Jeremy Wells, the wonderful Jeremy Wells, is when he asks you how you're doing, he actually wants to know. And he's got time to listen. He does. He'll take time to listen. Not like us.

How you doing? And you want to stick around because you get to look at Jeremy Wells' face for a lot longer too. So I just make up all sorts of stuff just so he keeps listening to how I'm doing. You're right. He seems like he's got – I don't know. We know him through work and stuff, but he just seems to how I'm doing. Yeah, no, you're right. He's got a, he seems like he's got, I don't know, I'm like, you know, like we know him through work and stuff,

but he does seem like he really does care. Works in his store there? Yeah. I don't think too much for stress Jeremy Wells out. He doesn't seem like a stressor, does he? No, he's sort of got that sort of dead pants sort of demeanour. Doesn't look like a... He was a little bit concerned when he found out how early you got up in the morning.

Like, he was like, you know, gotta be careful in the long run. You've got to do this job for a long time. He's all about playing the long game. Because he's been playing it for the long game and doing a great job. But he works both ends of the day, doesn't he? Does seven sharp at the end? I know.

Yeah, he works hard, doesn't he? Old Jeremy Wells. He still looks amazing. Why do you keep looking at me like that? I'm not. He's like, you're getting up too early. You look like a bag of shit, mate. All I can say is if you look a little bit more like Jeremy Wells,

you slept in, you looked out for yourself. Marvie would still be on TV. We had a really exciting show today. We head to the winner of the Live Free competition giving away 12 months with a rental mortgage payment. Jeez, I was nervous hosting that. You don't want to stuff it up, do you? And it's such a big thing. We started talking to one of the listeners

and one of the five finalists, and it was emotional from the get-go because you would. You're one of five chances of winning. You've probably thought for a second about what you would do with the money that you would save. I mean, we think about what we'd do with Lotto,

and you've got no chance of winning Lotto. If I said to you this week, you're one of five people that are going to win Lotto, you'd suddenly go, Oh, mate, I'd be taking loans out. I'd be like, Don't worry,otto. If I said to you this week, you're one of five people that are going to win Lotto, you'd suddenly go, oh, mate. Oh, mate, I'd be taking loans out. I'd be like, don't worry, I'm good for it, mate. Next week you wait, I'll be going to instant finance and all sorts.

Yeah, so that was this morning. It was really awesome to reward Catherine with the prize, but also gutting for the other people as well. I know, and this is your thing. You don't like winners and losers, do you? It's not your thing. It's the one thing about radio that he doesn't enjoy is having to tell someone they're a loser. Yeah, it is.

It's tough. You want everyone to be winners. It's not life, bro. It's not life. Life would be boring if we were all winners. Losers make you feel better about yourself. I saw a great post the other day speaking about that because people can say horrible things to sports people

and think because they're sports people, they're fine with it. But it was a post, I think it was from a guy, a legend of Marty Banks on Instagram, and he was saying how boring it would be if sports people got every shot in or, you know, kicked every goal or made no mistakes. Sports would be boring, and that's what makes sports so good. It's because things happen and things go wrong. And people get passionate by it.

And, you know, it's good to be passionate, but it's not good to you know these are these are just human beings out there you know trying their best and they're not we're not in that situation where we're having to take a last minute shot or do anything like that you know the pressure of that all the things you know so it's actually a really good thing to remind yourself that these people are human as well so yeah but they're also fun to abuse in the same way no they're not oh yeah no i'm with you you know what i mean you don't you think because they're sports athletes and then maybe you know some of the top ones get paid a lot of money you're like but still you know do you know you got me lost in a huge hole over the weekend you played me an inspirational quote from family feud

host steve harvey oh yeah i got lost in that too oh yeah he's an inspirational guy there's a lot of people on there with even what's running from Pitbull as well. I've seen Pitbull's one. I was like, yes, Pitbull, Mr. Worldwide. Yeah. These successful people, you see them in the media, but there's a reason they're successful. It's because they're driven.

Whether you're Pitbull or whether you're the dude from Family Feud who lived out of his car for three years. But I got lost in this whole big... He was talking about the internet generation and how young people these days... He's an old man. Young people these days actually have the most powerful tool of any generation. They've got information at their fingertips. But a lot of the time we're wasting it grinding and twerking

when you can combine the work ethic of, say, your father or your grandfather or your mother or your grandmother with the technology you've got. Unstoppable is what Steve Harvey was saying. That's interesting. And he was like, I just don't get why people write negative. Here's my point. Sorry, it's a long way around. Yeah, yeah.

Why people write negative comments. Because when you break it down, they've had to create a username, register to make a comment, think about what they're going to comment, watch the content before they comment. That's a good five to ten minutes of their life that they could have been doing to make themselves

better. Decide if you want to comment or not. Like there was a good thing I read a while ago, you don't have to comment, even if you don't agree with something or like something, you don't have to comment. Even if you don't agree with something or like something, you don't have to comment on it. But, you know, that time you're wasting doing that. Could be bettering yourself. The letters.

You get a letter sent and that's more hoops to jump through. That's right. Someone would write a letter and then go, I need a stamp. I need a poster's letter. I need to get their address. You're like, wow, they really hated you then to go to all that effort. That's right. That's when you knew there was some real disdain towards what you were doing.

You're like, jeez, you've paid postage to get your argument across. Yeah, you're right. They'd always field those at TV3, wouldn't they? Oh, no, they had a log. They had a complaints log you could log in. There were some funny complaints. John Campbell's tyre was skew-iffed to the left tonight. Hey, have a great day.

Enjoy the podcast. Ben's hung up his headphones. He's like, enough of this My headphones get loud, it wasn't because I was I asked him how he was and he's banging on five minutes later Reminds me, we spoke to a lady once who was in a nightclub and that song was playing and she was like, Tao Cruz told me to put my hands up. So she put her hands up in the air.

Hands up in the air. And then the ceiling fan attacked her hands. It was a massacre. I mean, how low was the ceiling? I know, exactly. You can't even put your hands up in a nightclub. Anyway, how was the weekend, guys? All right?

Yeah, not too bad. Monday, Monday. Very exciting Monday here at The Hits. Because as I said before before someone's going to get their rent and mortgage paid for an entire year it's happening after 8 o'clock

thanks to onerooftalk.co.nz but even if you aren't one of the five that is going to select a key this morning you can still win quite a lot of money

we'll tell you more around about 8 o'clock this morning yeah now I'm just going to start it's on a bung note scientists have done some research

researched over 500 people to find the most boring person in the world. Was it you? I know, but I'm definitely in top five. Unnecessary. Let's not start our Monday like that, Ben. I'm sorry. Talk yourself out of that, okay? I'm trying to start on a motivational note.

Okay. But they found that the most boring person in the world would be a combination of someone who's religious. Me. Catho. Now you're mocking yourself, but okay. Data entry worker who likes watching TV and lives in a small town. That would be the combination of what the most boring person would be. Because they've listed the most boring jobs, top five boring jobs, at number five, banking.

Right. Tell that to the bankers. Yeah. I mean, these are all jobs that you need in society. You do. Yeah. Essential jobs. At number five, banking. Right. Tell that to the bankers. Yeah. These are all jobs that you need in society. You do. Essential jobs. And I mean, if that's your thing, then you're going to be excited by that. Wasn't it for Wall Street? Was he involved in banking? He was involved in all sorts. Hell of a time.

Four, cleaning. I mean, no one enjoys cleaning, but again, Ben, it needs to happen. It needs to be done, yeah. Tax insurance at number three, rightfully, we need insurance people and tax people. Accounting, number two. Gotcha. Data analyst is the top,

most boring job, but the most exciting jobs. Do you want to know them? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, tell me. Performing arts, number one. Science, number two. Would you say science? Well, it depends. I mean, like Nano Girl, I love that. She, yeah. Tell me. Performing arts, number one. Science, number two. Would you say science? Well, it depends. I mean, like Nano Girl.

I love that. She's amazing. She does some cool experiments and stuff. And the people like sending people to space. I mean, it's exciting. You like seeing the frothing things, don't you? Yeah, I do. Frothing stuff. Yeah.

Watching TV is an exciting job, apparently. Oh, who's getting that job? I don't know. Is it relevant now, too? job, apparently. Oh, who's getting that job? Is it relevant now, too? Yeah, exactly. Health professional is exciting and teaching. Yeah, right. So those are the, yeah.

And so I thought we'd take that and we would start something today. Motivational Monday. Okay. Okay. Where I've trawled the internet through all the, you know, like on Instagram, you've got some muscly guy going, you know, never look away from the sun or else your future won't be bright or something like that, or some twerking lady telling you to never give up on your dreams. But Ben, this is one you played me on Friday.

Oh, is this from Steve Harvey, who's the host of many TV shows in America, including Family Feud? Yeah. He had a hell of a life, Steve. Lived out of his car for many years as he was trying to get his big break. But here is his motivational quote. See, in your life, everybody has a turn back moment. You have a moment where you can go forward or you can give up. But the thing you have to keep in

mind before you give up is that if you give up, the guarantee is it will never happen. That's the guarantee of quitting, that it will never happen, no way under the sun. The only way the possibility remains that it can happen is if you never give up no matter what. Thank you, Family Feud guy. That's good. You know, my favorite part of that video is because I was playing it to my son Oscar over the weekend. There's a guy in the background just on his cell phone. You can tell he's like, bloody Steve's off on his never give up rant again. This is such a great. I know.

It's a motivational. He must do it to the Family Feud audience before they start taping. And this guy's like, oh, he's banging on about never giving up again. How many times have I heard this? Scrolling through your feed. Straight from the internet, through Ben's mouth into your ears, this is Scrolling Through Your Feed. What's happening, mate?

Well, the Queen is looking for someone to be a full-time painter. It involves painting at Buckingham Palace, so it's a full-time job in other buildings within the estate. But the salary is causing a bit of news because it's slightly less than the average painter and decorator in the UK earns. So it's 40 hours a week. It's offering between £28,000 to £30,000, depending on experience a year.

But according to, basically, stats, the average... Can't argue with stats. The average painter and decorator in the UK earns around £31,000 a year. She's going to just never not be something to paint. Yeah. With the Queen's Residences. You finish the hallway, oh great, get on to the lounge at Buckingham Palace now. And then you'd have to come back to the hallway probably 12 months later that you just painted.

So much painting. Yeah. Full time. Anyway, she's, I see, got a lift installed in her house in Scotland now for a wheelchair. Oh, really? Yeah, you know, one of those ones that moves like at a painfully slow pace. Yeah. My dad's got one of those in his house.

Not because they actually need it yet, but just because it came with the house. Oh, what a great feature. That's a lot of fun. Is that the thing that goes up the stairs? Yeah. Oh, no, it's one that goes next to the stairs. It's kind of like an open-air elevator. That's a lot of fun. Is that the thing that goes up the stairs? Yeah, oh no, it's one that goes next to the stairs. So it's kind of like an open-air elevator. That's so cool.

Like, if you've got the option to use it, not the elevators. Oh, yeah. It'll take you 10 minutes to get up to the second level, but boy, it's an exhilarating ride. I bet you that when your kids go over, they must love that lift. It's like, yeah, we're going to use the thing. It's like, well, it's not really just, yeah. I always think, you know, if you're having to utilise those chairs,

and hey, for me, it's probably not that far off, another couple of years or so. I said you're all right last week. That's right. I'm going to get one installed. Is if you've moved downstairs and you've forgotten something, and then you have to go back up seven. Oh, yeah.

You could spend all day going up and down that thing. And just quickly, Netflix, the days of using your family member's Netflix account could be over, guys. Netflix is testing a new feature that's going to charge people to add multiple profiles onto their account. So they're testing this already in Chile, isn't it? Yeah, Chile and Costa Rica. And, yeah, so it looks like, you know, the thing of people sharing between, it's going to be a thing of the past, but look at it. Oh, yeah, because I texted my brother-in-law.

He's been mooching off someone's in the family for years. He said, dark days are coming, bro. And he said, what's your Disney Plus login? That was his response. What's your Disney Plus login? I don't understand because you can have various profiles. So if we all shared one, you'd have Ben, Juliet, myself. Is that still a function?

Well, I don't know if it's going to be on Netflix. I think you're going to have to pay for various profiles. I think you'll just have the one profile, and if you want to add another one, then you'll have to pay a bit more for it. So there'll be just one. I wonder if that would still charge the original person, though, because if you've got your own profile, you're like, oh, it's still your problem, you have to pay for my profile.

Yeah, but then I think you'd just'd just be killing the profiles back down to zero i loved their line did you read the article where it's like oh we're doing this so we can invest more in quality film and television no you're not you're doing this because you're losing a crap ton of money yeah because people have found a loophole in the system. And that is scrolling through your feed this morning. Shout out to all the unpaid Uber drivers dropping the kids off in P-Car traffic. Jono and Ben on the hits. On Friday, we had this amazing story

about a lady who gave birth in an Audi. Yeah, her name was Roxanne. And it was a long lead into the birth in the Audi, but basically her partner, he had been out. Risky move a couple of weeks out from giving birth, but anyway. So she woke up at 2 o'clock in the morning. He wasn't there. He still wasn't there at 4 o'clock.

So she was calling him constantly, and he was probably looking at his phone going, not ready for that right now. Anyway, he made it home, and they were traveling to the hospital in the Audi as she's in labor. Have a listen. We jumped in the car, and the hospital in the Audi as she's in labor have a listen we jumped in the car and we were I was in the back seat and when we were on the motorway that's when I really knew that the baby was coming and I could put I put my hand in there and I could feel her head and I was like oh my god and I actually tried to like clench to like try to push it back in hold Oh, jeez.

You're like, hold on, hold on a second. Can I suck and put it back up? So where did you have the boat at? I honestly was, like, in the car, in the back seat of the Audi. Oh, my goodness. Luckily we had leather seats, I tell you what, because that was a great bombsite. So there you go. And spare a thought for, you know, the father of the child as well.

Didn't even get to finish his night out. But he had a huge night out, really. So we wanted to know this morning, what did you do in Labour? Have you had any great experiences while in Labour? Maybe you were voting for Labour while in Labour and the polling booth was an option. Maybe you were at the pick and mix at the supermarket. Just chucking out scenarios here.

Remember that call we had once? I think it was a lady in Australia Who gave birth, went to give birth And the midwife turned up And it was her ex-boyfriend Who was the midwife So she was obviously in the position you are When you give birth

And the last thing you want to see I imagine, I don't know, I've never been in that position But I'm sure the last thing you want to see is your ex-partner wandering in Having a good gander in between. I think for some reason they had to get a last-minute replacement midwife, and it was him. Yeah. And he was like, uh-oh, this is a bit awkward.

But in the end, it was fine. Professional. Yeah. I mean, you have to keep it professional, don't you? There's no other way. Or she could be like, you never told me you were a midwife. Well, hey, you still got my CD. I really want that album I left.

That person who didn't let you merge probably listens to a lesser radio station. Tomo and Ben on the heads. Don't forget, just after 8 o'clock this morning, someone's going to live free from their rent or mortgage for an entire year thanks to OneRoof.co.nz. But just because you don't have a key doesn't mean you can't win as well. Oh, that's great. So listeners can still win. Not the main doesn't mean you can't win as well. Oh, that's great. So listeners can still win.

Not the main prize, but something else very special as well. Oh, wow. Of course. You see why I stay with you. Keep things spicy. Now, we just played your audio of Roxanne, who we talked to on Friday. An incredible story about her giving birth in her Audi on the motorway while a guy on a Harley Davidson was looking through the back window.

And her boyfriend had been out all night as well. So, great story. And I always thought that the birth of a child is a beautiful smokescreen for any trouble that he might have been in. What do you mean? Because he was out till four in the morning, her partner. But, you know, the birth of the baby,

oh, that's all forgotten about. If you ever want to get out of trouble, have a birth of a baby. Okay? Timing needs to be critical on that sort of thing, though. So, 0800, the hits. We're opening up the labour line. What happened to you in labour, Emily?

Okay, well, so my water's broke while I was shifting cows on farm. Okay. Okay, so you're on a farm. You're moving the cows, yep. Yep, yep. So that one was ever shocking. I never had that experience before, first baby. Then with my third

baby, we were actually picking up cows and calves and when I went into labour, went to the midwife, she checked me out, she goes, oh, you're six centimetres, you're not active labour. I said, can I go back to work? She goes, sure, why not? Went back to work, started feeding my calves,

finished doing all my chores, was getting ready for afternoon milking when I had active labour. Oh, really? Now, obviously you'd birthed many cows on the farm, wouldn't you? Yeah, yeah, just a few. So your partner probably could have. Yeah, well, it was a home birth, so, you know, he was right there, but he wasn't as active as he is when we were counting down the house. When he's doing carpooling

he's not putting his hand in. No. There you go. That should be alright. I wonder, I mean if you've pulled something out of one thing you can pull it out

of another thing. You'd think so but I think it's a little bit more delicate with a human. Yeah. I imagine there's a little yeah, you're right. He's basically a midwife. Yeah. I imagine there's a little, yeah, you're right. He's basically a midwife. Yeah.

Yeah, he is. Cow midwife. Good on you, Emily. Lovely speaking with you. Go and have a wonderful day. Will do. You too. On 0800, the hits.

We've got Lorraine. How are you? Yeah, good. Thank you. Great to have you on. In labour, what happened? Just having dinner at the dinner table. Just at home, mother-in-law's over, Father's Day.

What's for dinner? What are you eating? Roast chicken. Oh, nice. It's a good meal. Okay, and then at some stage your water broke, and then did your mother-in-law not know that the water had broken? No, well, I stood up, went to move away from the table,

and went, oh. And she stood up, walked towards me, and I took a step back and went, no. And she just went sliding over. So when your waters break, I've never witnessed this. Do they actually, is it a gushing effect or what happens? Yeah, well it is. And I happen to be wearing a dress, so you know, all good. And so slippery conditions, slippery underfoot.

And your mother-in-law. Like a slip and slide, really, isn't it? Yeah, a slip and slide, yeah. And did she land on her back? Yes, that's correct. Yeah, sore tailbone for a while. Oh, you're like, hey, not now. It's all about me right now.

Anyway, I'm going to hospital, so do you want to hitch a lift? Yeah. Was she okay in all seriousness? Yeah, no, she was fine. And how about you? I mean, I guess that was when things really kicked off for you, right about then. Yeah, well, within was fine. And how about you? I mean, I guess that was when things really kicked off for you, right about then. Well, within 45 minutes, Bubba was

here. Oh, that's quick, isn't it? And you made it back for dessert. Yeah, well, pretty much. It's amazing. And is there a lot of water when it comes out? Oh, enough to slip over. You know, take a cup and pour a cup of water on the floor.

Yeah, right. So it's slipperier than your usual substance, I imagine, as well. I would imagine so, yeah. Thank you for sharing that remarkable story. Thank you for oversharing as well when I ask questions. Have a great day. You too, take care. See you, mate.

I got lost on the internet and it was actually off watching the news last week with my son Oscar, and we're watching what's going on in the Ukraine. Oh, yeah, it's been four weeks now or something, isn't it? A long time. It's horrible to see these scenes every night on the TV. Yeah, it's quite hard with the news at the moment

with kids watching it. But, you know, he's obviously intrigued and asking lots of questions, and we got into a conversation. He's like, you know, if I stab someone in the street and they die, then I'm done with murder. I'm done charged with murder. What's happening with Putin? He's like doing this right in front of our eyes.

Hundreds and hundreds of people. Yeah, it's a sad thing, isn't it? It is. So I got lost in an internet hole about Putin. These are state-approved facts. Right. Approved by the Federation of Russia. And if I recite any unsanctioned facts, this will be the last you hear of me.

Because he's been there in charge for a while, right? Years. Decades. He has. There was a photo that surfaced of him and Leonardo DiCaprio from 10 years ago. And they're like, how could Leo have had a photo with Vladimir Putin? And it's like, to be fair to Leo, I mean, i mean he running his photo with he doesn't want to go did you plan to invade a country in 10 years and i think that was at some sort of conservation fundraiser or something that was

doing some you know some great good in the world you know yeah so it was kind of like hang on a second this is a long time before this happened yeah yeah uh did you know he was time magazine's person of the year in 2007 yeah really yeah they'll be wanting to go uh erase the uh cover off that one wouldn't they eddie do you know what he had done in that year for them to go well this is some amazing stuff uh well i guess the person of the year not necessarily is all good stuff it's just the you know trump i think was a front runner for the person of the year. Because he's probably the person most talked about that year. Absolutely.

So he also loves the Beatles. Loves the Beatles. Yeah. Just a fun, you can imagine him being a fun guy at a Beatles, at a boomer Beatles concert. Putin wouldn't need to have his bloody khaki trousers on, polo tucked in. Didn't they have that back in the USSR song? So there you go, they're probably playing into a sweet spot there, aren't they?

That's what he's wanting to turn it back into. Two children, Putin, and divorced. Recently divorced as well. Oh, really? I just hope his divorce is going better than the divorce from the Ukraine that happened a few years ago too. Loves animals, obsessed with horses, bears.

Well, there's those Famous photos That you've probably All seen of him Shirtless on horseback And stuff you know That was a photo shoot For the person of the year The Time Magazine thing

Oh was it Yeah so they're like Can you provide us With photos So then he took The photographer out to He's apparently got This weird beach house

Well it's not a beach house But a lakeside property Yeah Which is like He said it's like The middle of a James Bond movie There's like snowy hills Forests It's like an evil Super villains James Bond movie there's like snowy hills forest

it's like an evil super villains lair and he's like you shall take photos of me now and I will remove my shirt

so he submitted those for the time person of the year and he was wearing the old speed dealers wasn't he the petrol station sonny

yeah he was unusual photo shoot it was an unusual for high concepts go with me on this, guys. I'm thinking this. I'm shirtless. I'm on a horse.

Okay. No shirt on. No shirt. No shirt. But these sunglasses. What do you think? You'll be like, oh, yeah, okay. I'll take the photos.

Great story to tell everyone later. Yeah, he actually got his break. He was in the KGB, the spy service. Right. Is where he came up as a young person. Like you, Juliet. You're in our KGB, the spy service. Right. Is where he came up as a young person. Like you, Juliet, you're in our spy service, the spy entertainment news service. Yep. And did you know he's a black belt in judo?

Wow. He also uses a black belt to hold up his suit pants too. And those are facts about Putin, all the ones I was allowed to tell. Spy. Know what's up. Spy.co.nz. All right, Juliet is off to France very shortly, and she's counting down the days until she no longer has to read stories about Kanye West.

Ju, what's happening in Spy this hour, mate? So, Michael Bublé is currently a father to three children, but a fourth baby is on the way. And when him and his wife told their three kids that they were having another baby, one of Michael's kids had a very funny response. And we told them, you know, mommy has a baby in her tummy and you're going to have a little brother or sister.

And my five-year-old Eli was just distraught. And we said, what's wrong? And he said, why didn't you invite us to watch when you fell in love and made the baby? Because, you know, I don't think, obviously, they have no concept of how physically it happens. So it's really cute. It's just so sweet.

They just know that mummies and daddies fall in love and they had the baby, and so he just wants to know why he wasn't invited. He said he didn't know how to answer that question. You can watch, but it's going to mess you up later in life. It's going to be welcome to. But, yeah, so I wouldn't recommend this. Grab that question. You can watch, but it's going to mess you up later in life. You're welcome, dude. But, yeah, so I wouldn't recommend this. Grab a seat in the corner there, mate.

Very cute reaction from a kid, though. It was a very cute reaction. I mean, you never do send invites out, do you? No. Why would you? Are you cutting him a cake or something? When Eli grows up, he'll probably see that in the news as his dad, you know, oh, dad told a story about what I said when I was five years old.

It's so embarrassing. Well, congratulations to the Bublé, Fano. Your dear friend Michael Bublé came to your rescue last year at Christmas time, didn't he? He called through. He's a great guy. He's a true gentleman. He didn't invite me to watch either.

Advice for everyone. Can I come as well? Can we all come? Can I bring my camcorder? Why would I get a camcorder? It's 2022. I'll bring my cell phone. And Pete Davidson, I think I mentioned last week

that he was going to be going up in Jeff Bezos' rocket to space. What I wouldn't give to go up in Bezos' rocket. But he'll no to be going up in Jeff Bezos' rocket to space. What I wouldn't give to go up in Bezos' rocket. But he will no longer be going because, well, actually, I don't have a because because they haven't said why, but he was meant to be flying up this week, but Blue Origin tweeted saying that he's no longer able to join the crew on this mission and they'll announce the sixth crew member in the coming days. So we don't know whether it was Pete's decision or not

or whether it's just going to be postponed. Do you reckon all the other crew member in the coming days. So we don't know whether it was Pete's decision or not, or whether it's just going to be postponed. Do you reckon all the other crew members got salty? Because they all had to pay, and he was going off for free. Yeah, he was, wasn't he? And also, there's a lot going on right now with Pete's life. There's a lot. There's with Kanye and Kim, and there's a lot going on. I mean, how long does it take to go to space?

I think he's over and done with it. It's only you go up and come back down so it's not that long all he's going to do

is sit it's not taking too much of quite a good little peaceful trip you'd just be

going up to space a bit of quiet time you're literally physically miles and miles away from Kanye West

it'd be quite nice to do no wifi out there can't see him being bullied on Instagram is Kanye bullied on Instagram. Yeah, exactly.

Is Kanye back on Instagram now? Or is he even sidewinding? I think he is back on Instagram. I haven't seen him doing any posts. No. He's not going to the Grammys as well. They've kind of banned him from the Grammys, I think. Yeah.

He was going to be performing. Even though he's got a lot of nominations, I think he's not. Yeah. I think they're just a bit worried about what could potentially happen, what happened with Taylor Swift and stuff. They uninvited him. Yes, I think so, yeah. Savage. That's interesting, yeah. RIP. Who meant to make that awkward phone call? Oh yeah, he might not have reacted that well to that. Hey, so? Just letting you know. And that is your Spy Update for the South. For more, you can head to thehits.co.nz. After seven o'clock on the show, your chance to win $5,000. Of course, this is 7.45. It happens every morning. Five words, 5K. It is thehits.co.nz. After 7 o'clock on the show, your chance to win $5,000.

Of course, this is 7.45. It happens every morning. Five words, 5K. It is The Hits. Tested safe for listing from home. Jono and Ben on The Hits. I spoke last week. It's had a bit of pick-up.

I'm surprised Al Jazeera hasn't run with it, actually. Last week, I went about how I accidentally brushed my teeth with Voltar and MU Gel, which bears a striking resemblance to my usual brand of toothpaste as well, both silver packaging. And it took you by surprise that I have a toilet bag, and both of these were in my toilet bag. Well, two things took me by surprise. One, that you keep a toilet bag at home to use day to day.

The other thing, I thought you'd be a sensitine sort of tooth. Yes! I thought you'd be a sensitine toothpaste person. Yes! I definitely thought you'd be sensitive. Ohne sort of tooth. Yes! I thought you'd be a Sensodyne toothpaste person. Yes! I definitely thought you'd be Sensodyne. Oh, my teeth get a bit sensitive. Sensodyne! I thought that would be you, but yeah. No, I do have a tube of Sensodyne in there, just for those occasions.

My teeth are feeling a little sensitive. They are sensitive wee teeth, aren't they? Yeah. Sensodyne. Geez, you know you're putting an age demographic when you're using sensed on you know it's uh it's for people uh but yeah no so i accidentally did this voltaren emu gel thing and uh i've i've actually i actually messaged voltaren emu gel as well to say hey sort it out guys madness needs to stop you haven't heard anything back though right they're like well you're the only idiot in the history of voltaren emu gel who's ever done this

you could read what's on the label, but I understand these things happen. I talked about how I put superglue in my granddad's eye. I think it was eye drops. It happens, unfortunately. And how you came across some of Snoop Dogg's finest in a fridge, didn't you, in a hotel room? Yeah, I did. Yeah, marijuana. What was that?

You don't use it. It's a bit of a product misuse. I wouldn't imagine that the fridge is traditionally used for storing. I mean, you would know more than me, Ben, because he always claims that it wasn't his. No, yeah. We'd be staying in that room for a few days, and I left it. Anyway, it wasn't mine.

It was in the fridge. That was a huge product misuse, which we want to open up right now, 0800 The Hits. Have you fallen victim to an accidental product misuse? Well, maybe you do it on purpose. A guy, a friend from school, I sound like I'm making him up now. It does. But I'm not.

I just had a shaky start. He was flatting with a mechanic who would wash his car parts in the bath. Oh, that's quite smart. Well, is it though? Because I imagine when you have a bath, you come out looking like a seagull who's from an oil spill. True, that's true. Oh, Andrew, the hits are 4487.

What are your product misuses? Maybe you're doing it on purpose or maybe you're just like Jono did it by mistake. Can you put laundry powder in the dishwasher? If I run out of dishwasher powder, i use persil oh i don't doesn't seem like a reason why not i put cat biscuits in the washing machine once in the thing but i was half asleep because they're in the cupboard but i didn't put it through a cycle i don't know what happened it would have been confronting yeah why do i underpants smell like whiskers breakfast with jon Jono and Ben.

It's from 8 o'clock this morning. We're going to be drawing out the winner of Live Free. You're going to have rent or mortgage paid for an entire year thanks to our partners. I've always wanted to say thanks to our partners. That sounded good. Feels like what a sophisticated show would do. Thanks to our partners at oneroof.co.nz. It's an amazing life-changing prize that's going to be happening for someone today, which is awesome.

And even if you're not one of the five finalists, you can still win big. It's an inclusive radio show, isn't it, Ben? Yeah, it's pretty awesome. So that's at 8 o'clock. Join us this morning. But right now we're talking misuse of products. Yeah, Rose, you've misused a product. Oh, I sure did.

What happened, Rosie? Oh, dear. I was a little bit overtired from working a couple of doubles. Yeah. And I got up for 5.30 for my shift, went into the bathroom. There was enough light, so not wanting to disturb my partner, I didn't turn on the bathroom light, which was a bloody bad move. So running on all-road pilot, I put what I thought was toothpaste on my toothbrush.

Uh-oh. It took me a few seconds to on my toothbrush. Uh-oh. It took me a few seconds to realise my mistake, and I can tell you that Ultra Pop doesn't have much taste, but it sure feels disgusting. Ultra Pop? What's Ultra Pop? You know, hemorrhoid cream.

Oh! Oh my God. And then did you apply toothpaste to your bottom? No, luckily. Luckily, I had it right way around. It was a bit of a pain in the butt to get off the table. Good on you for sharing this story. That's amazing.

It's so cool. It does take a while for your taste buds to actually realise what's happening, doesn't it? Oh, yeah. What's going on? Takes them a while to wake up. Yeah, well, there you go. Rose, who brushed your teeth with hemorrhoid cream. Thank you so much, Rose. Appreciate your call.

Not a problem. Martin on 0800, the hits. Welcome to New Zealand's breakfast. What was your misuse of a product? Yeah, well, this is when I was living in Wellington in Wainuiomata, and I used to play for the rugby team, the rugby league team there. Jeez, that'd be a hard rugby league team, the Wainuiomata rugby league team. I was the only white fella there for a while.

I've got a bit of that in the team, but it was fun. And so what happened? Well, so we were sitting there in the dressing room, listening to the old manager doing his little spiel, grabbed my little bag that I had for the game, opened it up, and here I am, thinking I'm putting the deep heat on my thighs to warm them up.

And my mate beside me, Ophelia, he's like, mate, mate. I'm like, shh, I'm listening. He goes, no, no, mate, mate, what? What do you want? He goes, you're rubbing toothpaste in your thighs. So you just grabbed the toothpaste from home, or did you...

I'm the same like John. I've sort of got like a little kit bag, because after the game, you might have mud in your mouth or whatever, so I've got a toothbrush and clean my teeth after the game. That's the thing, and they make these tubes so similar, and all you ended up with were minty, fresh thighs. Yeah, and the nickname of Colgate for about two or three years.

Oh, Martin, that's fantastic, mate. You have a wonderful day. No worries, you guys as well. Scrolling through your feed. All right, time now for Benjamin Boyce, or as I like to call him, Simon Shallow. What's happening in the news, Jack Lame? Well, of course, the Women's World Cup is happening with cricket right now,

and the White Ferns unfortunately lost another thriller of a match yesterday at Eden Park. They've had a couple of close games, haven't they? Three. That's been really, really entertaining to watch, but not quite getting the results. So it looks like there's a small chance they could make the semifinals mathematically, but unfortunately it does look like they might not get there, which is a shame because home conditions as well. They've got a good team.

It just hasn't quite gone their way. So who's the gun? Australia are really good. Why do they have to be really good? No, no, they're really, really good. It was better if South Africa or England are really, really good because they're further away. We can't hear them gloating.

Australia as well. But the Chiefs, though, over the weekend, claimed the inaugural Super Rugby All-Picky title with an impressive 35-0 win over the Blues on Hamilton on Saturday night. And Ruby Tuohy, we love Ruby Tuohy. Ruby, Ruby, Ruby Tuohy! She was great in the Olympics.

Of course, her speeches afterwards went viral and she didn't disappoint at the end of the game. Have a listen to this. I've got a little secret too. You know, our captain, I thought Les Elder, I thought Les was short for Leslie, but it's actually short for Les girl! We just won the game! Woohoo!

How cool is that, eh? From a long way out. I was like, where's this girl? She had it pre-planned, obviously. She was like, Les is short for Les.

No, Les girl! Oh, that was good, eh? Just a wonderful human being, Ruby too. She's awesome, eh? Isn't she? That's very, very cool. But all,

more doom and gloom today. The front page of the paper, cost of living. They were talking about 2022 putting the squeeze on everyone. Fear and loathing in the housing market. So, you know, there's a lot of doom and gloom for a Monday morning out there. Fear and loathing in the housing market. There we go. Well, what we're going to do is remind you about this shockingly expensive time with a catchy parody song.

Potentially the most overplayed song of 2022 and turning into a slightly more annoying version is Jono and Ben with Pricey Life. Have a listen. There is a cost of living crisis. Kiwi's feeling the pinch in their back pocket. You're saying that the word crisis does apply. You can call it a crisis.

We need to do something about it. My car's an empty, needs basic maintenance. Requires unleaded petrol for sustenance. Drive it to BP, f*** it's pricey. Knew I should have bought one of Elon Musk's EVs. Guy behind the counter says you gotta pay. Even though we got the cost of living crisis. The word crisis does it

yes butter, I took out a loan. Extra freaking for a grand to live on my home. Thanks to inflation, can't afford to buy some bacon. This shampoo costs 52. Pricey like ooh. Call it a crisis. Pricey like ooh. Call it an emergency. Pricey like ooh. A shock. Ooh.

Pricey like ooh. The word crisis does apply. You're essential listening for non-essential banter. Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, we've spoken a few times about potential social faux pas that I have been part of involving bringing bottles of wine to people's places. Well, you know what you do.

Now, on the surface, it seems like you're being a tight ass, but I would probably put it into the practical category where you've turned up to someone's house with a half a bottle of leftover wine from a previous session. Yeah, so apparently according to the general population, that's not okay. The general population being a man to your wife? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I think other people generally agree With the fact that you can't bring a half bottle of wine To someone's house So okay, I'll know about this That's something I know about That's what you don't do now Now, also I've learnt that you can't take the wine With you afterwards as well

Again, the general population Okay, yeah, yeah They frown upon that as well Yeah, because you actually came to my house In January, you guys and ben actually left some wine oh you text me as well i text i said listen here's a photo i know i know what he wants deep down he wanted to take that oh because he knows i wasn't gonna use it so i sent a photo i was like you this is you can get do you want this no and he he played he took the higher ground

i don't want this well so on the weekend on friday night we went over to friends place for dinner i thought you know like it's it's a new me. You know, it's a new year, new me. I'll bring a wine. I'll bring slightly more expensive wine than I normally would buy. Like, hey, you know, let's not be a tight person. Let's bring, you know. So I probably paid a bit more than I would normally at the liquor store.

But I was like, hey, I'll bring this over. It'll be nice to bring this over. And full? The glass was out? The bottle was half full? Yeah, the bottle was full. Not opened at all. Straight out the end

so I brought the wine and I said would you like to drink I said I'll brought some wine over and they went oh that's good we're actually just

about to drink some so what they did is they grabbed my wine my friend and they put my wine away I watched my mate go put my wine and I was like

so what's this and they go hang on that's the wine that I brought over and I watched him sort of take it towards the cup he sort of put it away, and then.

Yeah, no, this is, I see where he's coming from. This is your gift to the household. Well, it wasn't a gift. It was the wine. He's like, just about to open some wine we've got. And then I was like, oh, okay. And then I thought. Was it an inferior?

Well, that's the thing. I had a look at their wine, and then I sort of had my phone, and man, my wife's looking at me, and as I was trying to Google under the table, I was like, how much was this wine compared to the wine that I'd got?

Amanda's sort of nudging me under the table. Apparently you can't be looking at the price of wine. So did they keep your bottle of wine? Well, yeah. I guess it's fine, but his wine was cheaper.

It was cheaper. So you never even saw yours get open. It just got whisked away. But it wasn't a gift. Ushered away like a celebrity. To a cheaper. So you never even saw yours get open. It just got whisked away. But it wasn't a gift. Ushered away like a celebrity. To a better place, you know. You don't need to see this. A velvet curtain.

And it's probably happened to many people before. I'm sure it happened on occasion. But I was like, this wasn't the idea behind this. I know, but sometimes it really does work in your favour where once he turned up to my house with some Hargens. Hargens. What is that again? They're beers, you know, a lesson on.

They're in a green bottle. They're niche. They're niche. Niche and somewhat more affordable than your Heinekens. He turns up with 12 Hargens, puts them in the distribution and they kind of like just sort of with a blurry eye

they kind of look the same and then he drinks all the Heineken they're all green bottles they're all in the same sort of family of such aren't they and I'm left with

12 Hargens at the end of the night and all my Heineken's are gone so sometimes it does work the other way oh true

swings it round about five words for 5K. You're just five words away from $5,000. It is our game of word association. We play it every morning at 7.45 on The Hits. We tell you five words. You tell us what pops into your head when we say those words, and if they match with one of ours, all five of them, you win $5,000.

You do a really good job of explaining that every morning. I try to. You do, because you'd think that you would get tired of it, but no. You do it. Sometimes I do try and mix it up, and then I almost confuse myself. What is this game we're about to play? I don't even know.

I know just the way I'm explaining it. And then you've got to guess what their personality type's like, and then you've got to match up faces. It's a simple game. It's a simple game. Even the Married at First Sight experts, they could match these. They know how it works.

They do know how it works. But although this is probably about as successful as Married at First Sight relationships a lot of the time. Julie. Hi. What up? How are you? Oh, I'm good. I'm really excited.

I just can't. Yeah, thank you. I'm so excited. We're excited to have you. We're going to try our very best to win you $5,000. Oh, thank you so much. What would you put that sweet, sweet cash to? Well, I definitely need a new phone.

The screen's completely broken, and I'm going to keep banging it to keep it going. So hopefully that's okay. And I love my fishing, so I'm saving towards a boat. Oh, you're saving towards a boat. So I'm hoping my phone can take good photos of my fish. Well, let's hope we can stop Julie

from having to constantly bang her phone and we can get Julie a new boat. Too much banging. The phones are one of those things that when anything

happens to them you're like, oh. It's not like the car breaks down or something, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. No, this is for my phone.

Alright. Who are you going to send into the soundproof booth this morning, Jules? Yeah, Jono. All righty. Let's get you a boat. All right. And we'll have to go out together on the boat.

All right, if you win, you guys are going out together. It might be actually, it might be weird, me coming on a boat ride with you, the maiden voyage. You like your fishing? Yeah, they go, well, to be honest, he's just gone into the soundproof booth, so he can't hear, but Jono's never caught a fish before, apparently. Oh, I know.

I know, yeah. I can show you, Jono. I know, I'm sure. Yeah, it seems he's been out when people have caught fish. But anyway, here is your first word this morning. What pops into your head when I say flush, flush, flush? Cards. Cards with an S on the end?

Flush, card. Oh the end? Flush. Oh, gosh. Flush. Cards. Yes. Yep. Good one. Yeah, well, flush. You have a flush in cards.

Yeah. Pedestrian is word number two. Pedestrian. Crossing. Pedestrian crossing. Good work, Jules. Okay, toddler. Toddler is word number three.

We can come back to any of these at the end if you're not happy, but toddler. Toddler. Baby. Baby, nice. Pineapple is word number four. Pineapple. Pineapple. Orange.

Orange. Pineapple. Orange, like another fruit. Yep, okay. And heater is word number five. Heater. Heater. H-E-A-T-E-R.

Heater. Hot. Hot. Okay. Any of those you're now starting to question? Probably all of them because it's hard. Yeah, I'm questioning the pineapple. I love pineapple and I really want to get this one right.

Pineapple. Pina Colada. Pina Colada. I love it. Oh, that's what you guys could be having on your boat. Oh, I would. Look, I don't know how to spell that in the sheet, but we're bringing Jono back.

Oh, my goodness. Jules, you did really well. It's really tough when you get put on the spot like that. I know. It is, and I really hope I've got my fingers crossed. All right. She's got her fingers crossed. Jono, Jono's back.

Ahoy, Captain. Yeah. Let's set sail on this journey of cash, alright? Sail the seven seas of cash Jules! Alright, here we go. The first word this morning I said to Jules was flush. What do you say with flush? What, toilet flush?

No... What? Oh, cards. Really? The other... Oh, cards flush. Dammit, I'm sorry. No, that was a good one too. Both of you guys had good options on that one. Oh, cards flush. Damn it. I'm sorry. No, that was a good one too.

Both of you guys had good options on that one. Pedestrian was word number two. Pedestrian crossing I'd go. Yes. Toddler. Yeah. Toddler baby. Yeah.

This was a tough one. Pineapple. Pineapple. Pineapple lumps. Ah, of course. Of course. I didn't even think of that. And heater.

Heater. Hot. Oh, not bad, Jules. Three from five. Listen, it wasn't quite a disaster like the Titanic if we're making boat references. No, it was cool. Thank you so much. No, well, thank you for playing.

We're going to send you out some Hell Pizza just for playing the game, all right? Yeah, thank you very much. No worries. You can get contact delivery, contact list delivery and pick up right now from Hell Pizza as well. Hey Jules, I hope you get that boat one day and I hope your phone, yeah, you know you want it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Alright, have a good day.

Yeah, you too Joe, thank you very much. We've got some spy entertainment news coming up, producer Juliette. Yeah, there was an actor who was offered a whole heap of money to lie about something he did with Meghan Markle. I'll tell you all the details next. We'll do that after Dua Lipa. Ellen, John, it is cold heart.

John Owen Bairn on your Monday morning. It's a human song. Spy. Know what's up. Spy.co.nz. All right. She's removed a nice, warm spy from the oven. What's going on, Juliet?

What's happening this hour? So an ex-co-star of Meghan Markle, his name is Simon Rex, and he starred alongside her. Sexy Rexy. Known well. Yeah. He starred alongside Meghan Markle

in a 2005 episode of the series Cuts. And he was offered over $100,000 by the British tabloids to say that he had slept with Meghan Markle. Sheesh, they'd gone deep. They'd gone back to 2005 and found Rex who had been there for one episode. Yeah, apparently they went out to lunch together or something

and he's like, yeah, we did go out for lunch together. That was as far as a friendly lunch. He was a struggling actor at the time. Well, he said he wasn't in the best place financially, so he could have done with $100,000. He said he was broke, but then he said, I would rather survive off food stamps before accepting that $100,000. But that's $100,000, and then he sees it.

If he did say it, and then everyone believes it. It's crazy. So all he had to say was, I'd like to think that I'd be a better man. Yeah. But I don't know if I'd be a better man. Yeah. But I don't know if I would. But then you get those horrible stories. I know, yeah.

Oh, yeah, so she did because that person. It really fuels the narrative that they were trying to, yeah, get a cure. It's amazing what they pay to do. Pay off for people just to say something that's totally not true. And then it makes you think, oh, my gosh, what else have you heard that might not even be entirely true? They are the worst, the British tabloids aren't they

you couldn't really get a lower I mean we do a pretty low form of broadcasting in the media but you don't get lower in the media than a British tabloid

do you and then Megan did write him a letter to thank him so thank you for your kindness and for turning down the bribe because obviously

did she put a hundred grand in the envelope she'd open the envelope and be like oh there's money in there did it fall out a letter

a letter I saved you and I get a letter grand in the envelope? Yeah, you think when you open the envelope, you'll be like, oh, was there money in there? Did it fall out? A letter. A letter. I saved you and I get a letter. That makes it the nice letter, but it's not a hundred grand. Yeah. And we did mention this

very briefly last hour, but I thought I'd bring it up again. Kanye is barred from performing at the Grammys this year due to his online concerning behaviour.

His rep has confirmed because obviously with the old Taylor Swift thing that he did, I think it was 2007, they And this year, due to his online concerning behaviour, his rep has confirmed, because obviously with the old Taylor Swift thing that he did, I think it was 2007, they think that he might be a little bit erratic if he performed. But he is nominated, so I don't know whether he'll still be there, because it just says he's been banned from performing. But again, what if he does do a Taylor Swift and just walks up from the audience And goes and grabs the microphone

No, I mean, he could put a moustache on And he could sneak in there, couldn't he? I mean, sometimes when you go to an event You can rub your stamp off your wrist And put it on your friends Oh, that's right I mean, Juliet, you had a thing at a Christmas party Didn't you, where you got kicked out

And then you came back Oh, yeah Martin Gupton's cricket shirt. Trying to disguise myself as a cricketer. For some reason. I don't know. I'm just a professional cricketer looking for a post-match beverage in my uniform. And finally, Lisa Kudrow.

I read this headline. I was like, oh, my gosh, this is amazing. She said she's keen for a Friends reboot, but it was on the one condition that she would not star in it. She said what she'd... Classic, classic. She said that she would be interested in seeing, like, a 2022 version, so one that was, like, set in this day and age

and with different actors to see what it would be like in this generation. AKA, I have zero interest in that project. Yeah, I know. But that would be an interesting reboot They've done that with the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Haven't they? Yeah they've made it into a gritty drama Yeah very interesting

And that is your spy update for the South For more you can head to thehits.co.nz I might do that to friends A gritty drama One year, no rent, no mortgage The Hits hits live free. With oneroof.co.nz. It is such an amazing prize.

It's been such an amazing competition. Thanks to oneroof.co.nz. Someone is going to win their rent or mortgage paid for an entire year. It's a life-changing prize, Jono. Huge. It's five weeks leading up to this exact moment, and we have the five finalists on Zoom with us right now. Kylie Lawson, Catherine Young, Jane Bobby, Sharon Carrasco and Tiahou.

Welcome along to the Hitslip Free thing for a year. You're all over Zoom. There's a lot of noise going on right now. We can see them. Someone's already busted out some dutes, is it? Yeah, I see. Is it Catherine? Catherine's already...

Catherine's yelling into a glass of dutes right now. And exciting scenes, Ben Boyce. Now, what we need to do is tell you that actually the winner will be decided by a giant fight to the death. No, no. All of you will be fighting to the death. Anything can be used as a weapon. It'll make the UFC look like child's play. You know what has happened?

But just before the news, everyone got to select keys in the order of the finalists, and everyone has a coloured key. We've got five keys as well, and you could win even if you haven't got one of these keys right now. Text the colour of the key that you think will open the safe and will unlock someone a year's rent or mortgage for a year thanks to oneroof.co.nz and you could win $1,000. So either green, orange, pink, purple or yellow, text that colour in right now to 4487 and you could win $1,000 if you're correct. Now let's meet some of the contestants. We'll start with you, Kylie. Welcome to the show. It's great to have you on.

Thank you. Hello. Good morning. I'm nervous. Talk us through what you're feeling right now, Kylie. I feel quite sick. I'm quite, yeah, it's been a long five weeks Kylie we can hear the emotion

right now I mean this would mean so much to I mean anyone that would win this would mean a lot but obviously it would mean a lot to you to win yeah it would mean it would mean heaps to us it's yeah it's very overwhelming it's a very big

prize it's a very big deal to anybody I have a lollipop And there's a lollipop there There's a lollipop It makes a big deal to anybody We're a little family in a rural town So yeah Kylie and her partner Royce

Living in Tauranga with their two children Could have their rent or mortgage paid for an entire year. We will meet the remaining contestants as we go on throughout the morning. First up, though, opening the key, the orange key, is going to be Jane. Bobby, Jane, are you ready to kick this thing off? I see you're holding an adorable little baby there. I assume that's yours. Yes.

Go orange. Go orange. All right, Jane. Next, we're going to make you wait. After one song, we're going to try and unlock the safe with the orange key. And if it opens, you'll get your rent or mortgage paid for the entire year, thanks to oneroof.co.nz. How amazing would that be?

Amazing. Amazing. We're super excited. Team orange. Back in a minute with team orange, thanks to oneroof.co. super excited. Team Orange. Back in a minute with Team Orange. Thanks to oneroof.co.nz. Thousands of property listings across New Zealand at oneroof.co.nz. Next, the life-changing prize on The Hits. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

One year, no rent, no mortgage. The Hits. Live free. With oneroof.co.nz. This is such an amazing prize. Someone today will get their rent or mortgage paid for an entire year thanks to oneroof.co.nz. Thousands of property listings at oneroof.co.nz. It is a life-changing moment for the next 12 months for someone.

That's right. One out of these five people are going to have that amazing prize. The remaining four will walk away with the lifelong memories of appearing on The Hits Breakfast with Jono and Ben. I'm so gutted for these people, though. They've got so close, these listeners. Do you know this is Ben's ultimate conundrum? He likes giving away stuff, but he hates having losers.

Unfortunately, there's winners and losers in life, Ben. I'm the loser in our relationship. You're the winner. You know this. But also, if you're listening right now, you can win too. We have $1,000 up for grabs. All you need to do is just text 4487. Which coloured key

you think will open the safe and unlock the prize? Yeah, the colours are orange, green, purple, yellow or pink. Text that colour to 4487 and you could win $1,000 if you're correct. Now we're going to head to Christchurch. Our first contestant, come on down, Jane

Bobby. Hello guys. Hey Jane, how are you feeling? I'm nervous. Can I only imagine how you're feeling? Hot. Sweating. Very. I'm hot and sweaty as well, but Ben bought in our crushed velvet jackets that look like it's been made out of a material from a brothel

or something. And so it's very hot and sweaty in here too jane now have you got a baby on the way yes we've got one joe in october oh congrats oh that's my son mark and my emma daughter emma daughter we'll take emma daughter and your family and your father tuning in from brisbane this morning as well, Jane? Yes, my mum and auntie and uncle are listening, so hopefully they bring some luck too. Is that auntie, Sharon and uncle Mark? Yes.

Shout out to them. Is it disturbing? I know so much about your personal life. You do. He's been stalking you on Facebook. No, no, we got some information over the weekend. Now, you've got the orange key today. I do. It's been drawn.

Feeling good of orange. You've chosen the key, but of course, the order has now been chosen at random today. So this could be the winner straight away. Jane, what is this going to mean to you? An entire year of no rental mortgage. Oh, it would be amazing. It would be a great head start to start saving for our own place because, I mean, paying rent, someone else's mortgage.

Love to pay my own. Good on you. Well, Ben Boyce is going to take your orange key and insert it into our safe. Come on, Ben. All right, here we go. Final words, Jane. What do you want to say to my skinny co-host? Good luck, Ben. Make sure you give it a good twist.

Okay, there we go. It's going into the Honeywell safe, which looks like it's fitted in. It's fitted in. That's a good start. Good start. This looks like a safe that you would have a bomb in, you know, in a movie. Is it opening? I'm trying to force it, but it doesn't seem to be.

No. No. Shane. Shane. Thank you. I'm just trying it the other way. Just no, no, no. He's stuck it in and he's trying to force it round,

but it's not doing anything. I almost broke the key for you, Jane. I'm so sorry that you didn't quite win that. I'm happy to make it this far. Oh, you are an absolute angel. We really appreciate you listening to the station. Sorry it wasn't to be. Good luck to the rest of them.

I'm excited to see who gets it anyway. What a champion. Oh, that's so nice. Jane, take your hat off to Jane. You go and have a wonderful day, Jane. Really do appreciate it. Yeah, thank you. Good luck, everyone.

Good on you, Jane. She's wonderful, isn't she? Oh, stop being so lovely. You're making me feel worse the more lovely you're being. No. We've got Tiahu who's joining us. Welcome from Ngati. Teahu, that means you are up next.

Incredible. Oh, this is so exciting. He's just popped into the Zoom. We can see him right there. You there? Teahu, can you hear us? Oh, we've done a classic. We've got the sound off mute.

That's good. Welcome, Teahu. What colour key did you choose? Green, we've done a classic. Oh, we got the sound off mute. That's good. Welcome, Tiahu. What colour key did you choose? Green, my bro. Green. All right. And next, Tiahu's rent or mortgage could be paid off for a year.

Fingers crossed. Don't forget, if you're listening to, you can text in which colour key you think is going to open the safe. You can win $1,000. Text as many times as you want as well. We'll be back next, hopefully giving away rent, mortgage paid for an entire year. Thanks to oneroof.co.nz. It is the hits. Big day, Jono and Ben. Rise and shine, time to start the, who are we kidding? We're not the boss of you. Jono and Ben on the hits. Monday morning, Jono and Ben. Oh, it's an exciting morning.

One year, no rent, no mortgage. The hits, live free. The hits live free. With oneroof.co.nz. Out of the thousands of entries, we've narrowed it down to five. Five listeners who one of these people today will get rent or mortgage paid for an entire year. Thanks to oneroof.co.nz. It is a life-changing event, Ben. It's like when I figured out I could sneakily park in the client parks in the garage. Stop now, though. That was a life-changing event, Ben. It's like when I figured out I could sneakily park in the client parks in the garage.

Stop now, though. That was a life-changing event. But let's go to our next contestant. Sadly, Jane's key didn't open up the safe and she was just such a champion about it. Took it like a champion.

Jane did. Now, going to head to Nathia in the Hauraki Plains right now. And Teahu, welcome along. How are you? Yeah, good, brothers. Lovely to have you on, Teahu. And Teahu, welcome along. How are you? Yeah, good, brothers. Lovely to have you on, Teahu. And your partner, Ka, is with us as well.

Yeah, hi. You guys have just made it look like some old arts and crafts or something. You had little flowers or something? No, no. These are four-leaf clovers we found. You've got actual four-leaf clovers. Oh, they actually... Wow.

So this could be good luck. And you've got the green key as well fingers crossed it's all lining up now uh your rent per week what are you paying guys uh 460 a week 460 that could be knocked off for 12 months what would this mean to you i mean a lot um get to save heaps more money. Yeah. You're a truck driver? Yep, yep. And no following questions there. I was like, what's John O's trucking knowledge like? I have zero trucking knowledge.

I just like it when you guys sound your horns when I do my arm thing on the road. That's always fun. Yeah, herng, herng. I like that bit. All right, should we do this? All right. The green key and the safe. Now, don't forget, you could also win $1,000 even if you don't have one of the keys.

4487 on the text or go to the Hits Breakfast on social media. Guess the key color. We have four keys remaining. That will open the safe. Green, purple, yellow, or pink, and you could win $1,000 too. Just stick the bloody key in the thing, Ben. All right. Here we go.

Here we go. Step it off. Here we go. He's putting it into the Honeywell safe. Ben Boyce. It's in there. It's slotted in alright. Part one. Will it turn? Is it turning?

It's turning, but not enough. I don't think it's doing it. No! No! No! I always check the both ways as well, too, just to be safe. It's not going to turn. Tiahu and car. I'm so sorry.

Oh, that's okay. It's okay. Oh, I'm sorry. I've got it for you guys. Being the Jono part of Jono and Ben, I'm used to disappointing people, but I tell you what, this hurts. Oh, it does hurt. You guys are awesome.

Thank you so much for listening. We really do appreciate it. Thank you, guys. I'm so sorry you didn't win today. Good luck to everyone else. See you guys. Everyone's so lovely about it, aren't they? That is heartbreaking. It is heartbreaking. No one told us we had to

do this part of the job. We've got three more keys left. One of them has to open the safe unless I've been doing something horribly wrong with the keys. Imagine if we had to go back and redo them in the studio. I hope I haven't been. I've really been trying to open the safe. Or have I pranked Ben and none of them will open the safe? Oh, back. You can also

win $1,000 as well. Text what you think will open the safe. Will it be purple? Will it be yellow? Will it be pink? We'll find out in just a few moments. Thanks to oneroof.co.nz on The Hits. Jono and Ben on your Monday morning. One year, no rent, no mortgage.

The Hits. Live free. With oner mortgage. The hits live free. With oneroof.co.nz. Someone is going to win their rent or mortgage paid for an entire year thanks to oneroof.co.nz. We're in the studio right now. We've got the listeners over Zoom. We've got cameras. We've got balloons.

We've got confetti cannons. There's a lot going on. We've got quite an unsettling sparkling machine, which fires out literal sparks. It looks like a welder or something grinding, and that's in here as well. And who knows, we could cause a huge evacuation in the building. We're wearing suits. It's a flash morning. It's a life-changing morning. And right now we'll bring in Catherine, who's our next listener, who's going to have a crack at opening this safe.

How are you doing, Catherine? I'm doing so sick freaking well right now. She's Catherine Young from Taranaki. She's already popped the dutes this morning. All the friends are over. I've got the lid on. I'm totally waiting for my key. Oh, she's still got the lid on the dutes.

She's waiting to pop it. But this could be a very early Monday morning. It also looks like sort of cheerleading pom-poms as well, ready to go. I've got my mum. Hi mum, how are you? We can see her over Zoom right now. I'm going to go and get coffee over this morning, team.

Now, Catherine, we understand no children, but you do have a turtle named Franklin, a dog named Coco Chanel, and Mittens the Kittens. Yes, we've got Coco and Mittens right here in front of us. They all sound like characters from a Pixar movie. They do, actually.

And turtles, they live for a long time, too. Do you guys want to see Franklin? Yeah, let's show us Franklin the Turtle. It's good for radio. People appreciate this. Just imagine what a turtle looks like. My mum actually found him, guys. I got him for free. Oh, you found him imagine what a turtle looks like. My mum actually found him, guys. I got him for free.

Oh, you found him. Found a turtle. Oh, there we go. We're looking into a tank right now over Zoom, and that's a good-looking turtle, Jono. That's a hot turtle. The home from my little family, the turtle, the dog, and the kitten. All right, Catherine, we're about to put the purple key in the safe

to see if it unlocks rent or mortgage for you for an entire year. And don't forget, you can guess the colour of the key if you guess correct. If you text that through or go on our social media, you could win $1,000 as well. That's right. So far, it hasn't worked out for Jane or Tia, who both are probably off bitching behind our backs right now. Yeah. Catherine, final words to Ben as he puts the key into the safe.

Go Team Purple! Okay, so here we go. Go Team Purple. Ben is putting the key in for a rent or mortgage payments for an entire year. Will it open? Okay. Is it turning? Oh no! Is it turning? Is it being? It's open!

You have just won your rent or mortgage pay for one year! 12 absolute scenes in Taranaki! All of them is paid for one year. Catherine. 12 absolute scenes in Taranaki. Wow. Catherine, she's crying, holding her hand over her mouth. The dutz has been popped. The dog's happy. The dog's licking her face. The turtle is indifferent.

Oh, this is such an amazing moment. Catherine. Oh, they're pouring dutes. We can see it over the Zoom right now. Catherine. She's eating a hot chilli as well. Catherine, there's a lot going on. Too much to download.

All right. Catherine. Catherine's rent is $450 a week. Just a quick equation right now for someone who does maths better than me. That's $23,400 knocked off for the entire year. Gosh. Catherine. Oh, my gosh.

She is crying. If you can hear us, Catherine, what do you want to say? It's changed my daughter's life. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. This chilli is so hot. There's a lot of tears. Why do you need a hot chilli?

Are you crying because of the chilli or the prize? It is a life-changing event for Catherine. This feels like one of those really messy news crosses where they can't hear us. They're just yelling and celebrating. Catherine, you hold there, and we'll be back in just a moment. Thanks to OneRoof.co.nz. Catherine, what a moment.

Unbelievable. That is incredible. We've changed the life here this morning. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. Amazing morning to be part of this morning. One year, no rent, no mortgage. The Hits, live free. With oneroof.co.nz.

It's been running for about five weeks, thousands of entries from right around the country. Everyone wanting to live free of their rent or mortgage for an entire year, thanks to oneroof.co.nz. Thousands of property listings across New Zealand at oneroof.co.nz thousands of property listings across new zealand at one roof.co.nz and just before it was a pretty amazing moment the purple key went in the safe and it opened and that meant katherine got her rent paid for 12 months okay so here we go team purple ben is putting the key in for a rent or mortgage payments for an entire year will it open okay? Okay. Is it turning?

Oh, no! It's turning! Has it been? Oh! It's open! It's turning! You have just won your rent or mortgage pay for one year. Catherine!

Twelve absolute scenes in Taranaki. There we go. That was really putting a lot of pressure on the Wi-Fi there in New Plymouth. And Catherine is back with us now. Catherine Young. How are you feeling? I'm feeling so amazed. I don't know how to feel.

I'm literally off the ground right now with excitement. It was an amazing thing to be part of. Seeing you guys over Zoom, you had your mum there, you had your dog there. Everyone was excited. You were popping some champagne. You ate a hot chilli in the moment as well. My mouth is still on fire and I can't believe I did that.

That was totally worth it. You really let that get away on you there. I feel like I'm asleep. Did this actually happen? Oh, it did. It actually happened. We are going to pay your rent for the entire 12 months. We worked it out before.

It's $23,400 for the entire year. Thanks to onerift.co.nz. That's just gone. That worry of your rent for 12 months is gone. It's a lot coming back. My husband's at work. I've got most treasured family members here with me, apart from my brothers. They're sleeping? Were they asleep when you were doing that?

Did they sleep through all of this? Incredible. It must mean so much. What are you going to put that money towards, Catherine? I'm going to put that towards my life and hopefully getting a home. I'm nearly 30. I'm 29 this year. This is a dream come true.

I'm literally crying. I can't believe it. Oh, well, a deserved winner and actually all deserved finalists in the competition this morning. Catherine, if I could quote my dear friends from the cast of The Lion King, Hakuna Matata. It means no worries for the rest of The Lion King. Hakuna Matata. It means no worries for the rest of your days or for the next 12 months. Yeah, that's pretty incredible. Thank you so much.

Go One Roof and go to hit. Go. Did she just say go One Roof? Oh, so good. And the hits. Catherine, congratulations. You're amazing. You enjoy that.

You enjoy 12 months, no rent. Thank you so much. And of course, if you've been listening and you've been texting through what colour key you thought was going to open the safe while it was purple, and I wouldn't be the boss of you if I said you can't still text purple before 487. Or go to our social media, the Hits Breakfast on Instagram. You can put a comment on, say purple, you'd be right. You'd be in the draw to win $1,000. It's all happening this morning.

Thank you so much for being part of it. The great thing about listening to this show is that the day can only get better from here. Jono and Ben on the Hats. It has been an amazing morning here on the Hats. Catherine just before won her rent paid for an entire year thanks to OneRoof.co.nz. Purple Key was the one that opened the safe, opened up her rent being paid. And if you want to text Purple to 4487, if you want to go on our social media, the hits breakfast and write purple, that was the winning key.

You could win $1,000 tomorrow morning thanks to OneRoof.co.nz at 8 o'clock. Have we figured out which key unlocks your heart? Because I want that one. I don't know. Purple maybe as well. Maybe I haven't tried. So keep those texts rolling. And a big shout out to the other finalists Kylie, Jane, Sharon and Tiahu

Who are all so What's the word I'm trying to think of They were so sophisticated in loss They were amazing, amazing people You're right, gracious Gracious in defeat, thank you for coming through there Alright, that doesn't stop there though The winning continues on

Listen to what starts After more than 100,000 phone calls. Oh my God. We've just paid a year's worth of rent. Now. Now. As the cost of living increases. Get fuelled up. With the Hitz Fuel Grab. We'll cover way more than 25 cents a litre. Listen Wednesday morning from 8 to fill up your car on us. The Hits Fuel Grab starts Wednesday at 8am only on The Hits. Jeez, what else can we do for you guys? Like, we're literally doing everything.

Like, oh. No, it's just a one-way relationship, this whole Hits and you thing. Well, we appreciate you guys listening. It's so good to be part of your mornings at that winning. We'll get in the start from Wednesday. How cool. Petrol. It's what everyone wants these part of your mornings. And that winning will again start from Wednesday. How cool. Petrol. It's what everyone wants these days.

Your gas paid for. It's the Jonas Brothers. It is the Hits. You got Jono and Ben on a big Monday morning. You're running late, stuck in traffic, and now you have to listen to this. Jono and Ben on the Hits. Wrapping up our show on a Monday morning. Some wild weather, particularly in the north this morning.

Outside, it looks where we are. It looks dark. It looks like it's 5 o'clock in the morning out there, Ben. Yeah, things aren't so good out there. Have we turned up to work extraordinarily early? Wouldn't that be a great prank? Someone set our alarm for 1 o'clock in the morning. Tomorrow on the show, join us again.

We've got that $1,000 to give away if you just text PURPLE to 4487. That was the morning. Tomorrow on the show join us again. We've got that $1000 to give away if you just text PURPLE to 4487 that was the key or on our social media we'll give that 24 hours for someone to win at 8 o'clock tomorrow. That's right, we'll catch you tomorrow from 6 o'clock.