Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: We Spoke To A Guy Who Featured In An Academy Award Winning Film!

Episode Date: April 1, 2022

As well as this, we spoke more about the times you pocket dialled someone and Bryce had an ABSOLUTE BELTER. Finally, it's producer Juliet's last day with us today - she's off on her OE, and Jono had a poem to share (in true Jono fashion). Enjoy the poddy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Kia ora, welcome. First of May. First of April. Sorry, that was my April Fool's prank. Oh, you got me. Waiting for it all morning. What's this prank? Well, there it was. Shaking in your boots. Benjamin's over there. Jonathan over here. Producer Juliette in the studio. Last show today, Juliette. Yeah, I know. All done and dusted. So weird.

It's so weird we're saying before that we're not in the same room. It's a real shame. I'm in the spare bedroom at home and in the morning I actually wake up my daughter because her bedroom's next to her, next to the spare room with loud radio. But right now she's, I've got this sound, I don't know

if you can hear it, she's guitar practicing. Let's see if I can hear. Go, Indy. You hear that? It's got the sound. That's all I've heard for the last 30 minutes through the wall. We've been banging at each other on the wall going, keep it down, and then she's at 6 o'clock,

keep it down, it's radio. It's like bad neighbours or friends. What the hell is that song i think it's cream i think it's a band called cream is it smoke on the water no it's similar to smoke on the water but it sounds like that it's from that era is it called i feel free let's have a list of it's all it's similar to Smoke on the Water, but it's from that era. Is it called I Feel Free? Let's have a listen. This is an old man conversation right now. I'm pretty sure it's a band called Cream.

I'm not sure. Yeah, I just know that because Indy was telling me the other day. Oh no, this is a weird tune. Sounds like Nigella Lawson. Oh no, this is a weird thing, honestly. Sounds like Nigella Lawson. Anyway, I've really dog-lead this, this opening of the podcast. But it is Juliet's, your last day. Yeah, you said some lovely things about us today, which you didn't need to say, Juliet.

Well, no, I had to. It was more, it's about you today. No, but it's also about how I felt working with you guys. And it's been wonderful. It's really been amazing. Juliet, we had a text, 4487 text through saying, great speech, Julia. I remember when you started dating a guy.

Don't judge a guy on the shoes he wears. What is that relating to? I have no idea. Just remember when you start dating a guy, obviously don't just judge a guy on the shoes. Maybe that's someone who has had a girlfriend judge them for the shoes that they wear. Maybe it's a who has had a girlfriend judge them for the shoes that they wear. Maybe it's a male texter.

Do you judge guys by shoes they wear? Oh, it depends on the shoes and depends on the situation. Okay, I've got... Don't, okay? I've got socks. Yep. And I've got those thick rubber jandals from the warehouse. You know those ones? Yep.

It's worth the rubber. And where are you wearing them? He's wearing them in isolation. He's been here for seven days. I would absolutely leave after one drink. If you're wearing that on a date, no. Around the house, not too bad. Or like if you're doing it in the garden,

like, you know, when you're wearing socks and sandals, not too bad, but yeah. Okay. I've turned up on a sensible pair of cumps. Okay, what are you thinking? Wait, a sensible pair of what? Cumps. Don't make him keep saying it.

It's dangerously close to another. What are they? What is that? What is that? Please don't make him keep saying it. Ben gets nervous when I say the word cumps. I didn't even pick up on that. Is that short for like comfortable shoes?

I guess so. It must be. I hear the word cumps a that. Is that short for, like, comfortable shoes? It must be. It must be. I hear the word cumps a lot. And is it like slippers? Yeah, they're just sensible, sensible foot. Yeah, they're comfortable shoes. I don't know. I've seen them advertised around.

Okay, I turn up in a pair of cowboy boots with, you know, with the spinny thing on the back heel. What are you thinking? Snake skin. The first thing that springs to mind is actually that cowboy photo that is saved on my phone for God knows what reason of you with cowboy

boots on and something covering your area. Just a holster. Yeah. I turn up like that. I turn up with no clothes on. Just a gun holster and cowboy boots to our date at the Lone Star. I would run. I would run for the hills.

There you go. Are you looking for a man overseas, Judy? Pardon? Am I looking for a man? Overseas. What happens if a man stumbles across the bow of your super yacht? You know, so my goal actually was to, when I decided that I wanted to do this,

I was like, please, Lord, let me not meet a man before I go. Because I didn't want to travel heartbroken or have a man stop me from going. Do you know what I mean? And then, so now when I'm over there, I'm open to it. But also, I don't really mind either way. I did, oh my gosh,

when my parents had some friends over for drinks like the other week we were talking about it and they were like and I was like oh yeah I'd love to date like an Italian man for a short period of time and mum and dad were like oh no don't date an Italian man like they live at home with their mums, their mum does everything for them, all this sort of stuff

and then one of the other ladies pipes up and goes oh no I had a friend who dated an Italian man and everyone must have an Italian lover. And I was like, yes. Oh, there you go. You get a short-term Italian lover. Yeah. Here's a text.

Texts keep flowing through for you here. Oh, really? Oh, that's so nice. This is from Bazman. Hi, don't know if this will make it through. I want to say good luck for the future, Juliet, on your travel. A big thank you for being on the radio. I've thoroughly enjoyed you and will miss hearing you greatly.

I will follow you on Instagram to see how your travels go. Here's another one too. Warning. Juliet, two of my friends worked on super yachts and they were like, nah, never again. Greasy, old head billionaires saying I'll give you 10k for an hour.

Now, Jew, that's good cash, mate. Well, okay, it depends if it's normal work. When they say I'll give you 10k an hour's good cash, mate. Well, okay, it depends. If it's normal work, when they say, I'll give you 10K an hour for normal work, yes. But for not any of that, I'm not that person. If you're ever in that position, take the money. No, Jono. 10,000, I'll go over there and take you.

I know you would. That's what I was just going to say. I was going to say, I'll call you, Jono, and you can come over and do it. We are going to miss you, Drew. But it's very exciting for you. But then you don't want to get into too much of a serious relationship overseas because then you won't come back.

Yeah, I know. That's the hard thing, eh? Unless I meet a Kiwi over there. That'd be fun. I imagine you with a handsome London banker. Oh, a banker? Yeah. Named Will or something. With hair like Boris Johnson. Oh, a banker. Yeah. Named Will or something.

With hair like Boris Johnson. Oh, yes. God. I would like someone a bit more creative than a banker, maybe. Or maybe someone who started their own business. Or maybe like a guy. Yeah, maybe like a guy named Sven from an advertising agency. Sven.

In central London. Yeah, we'll see. All the best, Jim. Keep it right up to speed. Sven from an advertising agent in central London. Yeah, we'll see. All the best, Jim. Keep it right up to speed. How about we make the podcast the times that we do mention? And we can call you from time to time. Yes, I would love that.

That would be great. You can call me. We'll call you Monday. Yes. Enjoy the podcast. Have a wonderful weekend. We'll catch you Monday. We're hoping it's an April Fool's Day prank,

but I don't think it is. Producer Juliet, after two years of working with us on the show, you're off. This is your last day. Yes, it is. I am going to travel and do my OE, something that I've kind of always wanted to do at some stage in my 20s. And I'm going to be working on a SUV yacht for about a year and then move to the UK or going well to work in radio or TV or the media industry over there for, I have no idea how long. You will succeed to no end over there.

I can really guarantee, well, I can't guarantee that. It's not up to me. You might have a shocker and be back in six months. I don't know. But what I would say, Juliet, is what a wonderful way to go out with us two locked at home and you sitting in a bleak studio by yourself. You couldn't think of better conditions. I know.

Gosh. It seems to be a trend, though. I was saying yesterday that the last show that was on the Hits Breakfast, that ended in the middle of lockdown, so they were all broadcasting from home as well. And so it was just an awkward thing where you hang up the zoom call and you're like oh see ya what did we tell you about bringing up the last show he's still doing it isn't she still doing it uh we have said it many times though we are gutted to lose you as a show you do so much and you're so

amazing with everything you do uh yeah we've been lucky enough to work with you know many young people in the industry over the last decade and you're right up there with the best that we've worked with Julia, you're hard working you're passionate, you're such a positive person to be around and it's going to be bloody hard to replace you, I think we're getting like three people to replace you because of everything that you

do and how much you bring to the show Thank you, that's so nice And you do stuff without anything ever being said, too, which is invaluable for Ben and me, honestly. Oh, really? Oh, that's good. You're thinking two steps ahead of us old men who are now two steps behind everyone else.

Have you done that thing? Yeah, I did it yesterday. Oh, good on you. And so, as a tribute, I've written a poem. Have you? Have you? I've written a poem. Can I go with my Gary McCormick poem? Have you written a poem?

Yes, go with your poem. It's not a long poem. Oh, John, I wrote a poem. It's going to come in little portions throughout the morning, like installments. Okay. Okay. Here's the first part of the poem.

Juliet, Juliet, you are so very kind, even though you go to R&V and get out of your mind. Slander. That's the first part of the poem. Okay, the next installment coming up. We're going to miss you, but we're so stoked that you're

going off and doing this because you want to do it. It's going to be amazing for you. And Aaron, who does the production here, has put together some of your best and maybe not so best bits and a little bit of a montage for producer Juliet. This is an uplifting tribute to our mate, producer Juliet. She's on the Up and Up. Who won the Radio Award.

This new broadcaster. It's only a matter of time until you realise you're too good for this show. Up early. Weird dreams last night. Three days of working with us. She's like having horrible nightmares about work. Up to date.

Yeet. What you say when you're excited about something. Some people call me Julie Yeet. With a wonderful upbringing. Mum's like bro I would sell this to you.

Is your mum a surfer? But easily upset. Who's Prince Louis? Oh my goodness. Oh sorry. Sometimes messing up. Whoops wrong one. Sorry guys. What are we doing? And sometimes up to, sorry. Sometimes messing up. Whoops, wrong one. Sorry, guys.

What are we doing? And sometimes up to no good. Light it up. Get lit. We did it on Friday night. Thanks, Dad. Got lit. And upstart.

I look like one of those weird hairless cats. A naked mole rat? A what? A naked mole rat. That's more you. Putting up with uppity old men. We must be geriatric. Okay, Grandpa.

Now she's up and off off on a boat in the Mediterranean as you look out into the horizon you just remember what you're missing back here mate producer Juliet from every one of the hits

hi there au revoir and follow us on insta or myspace for Jono and Ben aww that's so fun I forgot half of the things

I'd ever said gosh they were all surprises to me aww thank you we're going to miss you thank you to Aaron Oh, that's so fun. I forgot half of the things I'd ever said. Gosh, they were all surprises to me. Oh, thank you. We're going to miss you, Ju. Thank you to Aaron for compiling that as well. Yeah. Aw, thanks, guys.

More throughout the morning in producer Juliet's last show and her last chance to reveal it's an April Fool's Day prank before midday. But next, what happened at the Oscars? It's still going on. The backlash, the fallout from the Will Smith, Chris Rock episode. We'll find out next in Spy on the Hits. Spy. Know what's up. Spy.co.nz.

Now, for her second to last spy of her career. What a momentous occasion. All of these stories that she's plagiarised from entertainment sites, and we haven't had one court case. I know. Remarkable. That's amazing, isn't it? That's amazing.

She's gone away scot-free. Juliet, what's happening in entertainment? So you may have heard or seen yesterday that the Academy tried to kill, kill? Gosh. Kick Will Smith out. Shit. What a bad combination of words.

Tried to kick Will Smith out of the Oscars. It was pretty much run on every news site, and that Will had refused. But this morning it's come out that this is not true. So Will was told by the producer of the show that he could stay, but apparently there was a bit of a split among officials. Some wanted him gone, some said, no, he can stay. And then they never came to a conclusion on what they were going to do. So he just stayed.

Were they like, should we finish this meeting? No, no, no, it's all right. We'll just continue on. Half said no, half said yes. Pretend like nothing else has happened. And apparently someone walked up to Will in one of the ad breaks saying, no, you can stay, it's fine. And so from Will's point of view, he's like, what the hell?

Like, they never forced me to leave. But the Academy is saying otherwise. So it's maybe the Academy trying to cover themselves a little bit, but who knows? The whole thing is so messy now, isn't it? It was messy at the time. It's just got more and more messy. There's alternate angles of the thing coming out

there's what this person's saying the whole thing is just continuing to drag on I'm just glad it's taken over that depressing news in the Ukraine it's not like there's more important things going on in the world and that was making me sad seeing all that Ukraine stuff

it's true, it has taken the news away from that, which is obviously far, far, far, far, far more important. Not only did Will Smith take away from the award winners on the night, but now he's taken away from the Ukraine, getting news coverage. I know, I know. And isn't it funny? Like, I was thinking about it last night.

Will Smith and Jada have said, we don't want people talking about our relationship anymore. Like, it's not anyone's business but ours, because they've had kind of like an open relationship i think but will smith doing this has caused the whole world to talk about their relationship and more you know what i mean like it's just shone a light even more on them as a couple him as a person like it's just it's been hard to put like it's once you've opened that door once you've opened pandora's box i.e they have been quite open and uh graphic at times about their relationship it's hard to pull that back and

shut that door yes you know once you've once you've given a little bit of juice to that beast the beast still wants more juice yeah and also everyone that talks about it i mean jim carrey had his thoughts about the incident as well. And then people go through and there was something online yesterday. Well, Jim Carrey did this at an awards show. Yeah, they've dug up old stuff. I saw a video clip of Will Smith from 1995 or something making a joke about a bull man. Yeah, I know. Yeah, the internet had gone through.

I know, gosh. The internet never forgets, does it? But Chris Rock has also semi-addressed it at one of his comedy shows for the first time publicly. He said he's still processing what happened, but he also said to the audience, if you came to hear my thoughts on the whole situation, I'm not going to be really talking about it here because I had a whole show prepped before this whole saga even happened, so I'm just going to continue with my normal show. Three quarters of the audience stands up, walks out.

I know, I know. I know. And that is the update on that for this morning. For more, you can head to thehits.co.nz. Rise and shine. Time to start the, um, who are we kidding? We're not the boss of you. Jono and Ben on the Hits.

Daylight saving on Sunday. Don't forget about that. The clock's changing. Every year we have this conversation. But why do we do daylight saving? And every year I find out and I forget, like about two minutes later. Yeah, but it all started like,

remember it was to save candles back in the day? You know, they were like, well, now we don't need to save heaps on candles, surely. We're not using candles as a source of light. Well, I mean, but you do go through your acquires, don't you? Yeah, but that's not even daylight savings or with daylight savings. Well, because I know the Gold Coast, they don't even do it,

do they? No. Yeah, well, that's right because I was reading this morning, only around 70 countries out of 195 use daylight saving time. So we're kind of in the minority. Yeah. Right. It's just to make better use of the summertime hours though, isn't it? Yeah.

That's what it's designed for. Let's just ride it out. Yeah. It's so confusing. I love it when it's like this, when the long days, when it doesn't get dark like in the evening till late, you know. It's so good. Keep it.

Keep it. Well, it doesn't look like they're going to change that just because we've mentioned it at 6.30 in the morning, guys. Hate to burst your bubble. Can I share something? And this will be such a specific problem catered to a very small percentage of New Zealand. Okay.

But I've got these mouth guards in my mouth at the moment. Invisalign. Ben, you've been through the torture of Invisalign. I have. They are kind of, instead of braces, you wear mouth guards and every two weeks they bully your teeth into moving slightly. Yeah.'s essentially you just got a permanent level of pain and inconvenience in your gums and teeth yeah but now uh they've added to my one i don't know if you

had this i have to attach the world's tiniest rubber bands like oh no these are rubber bands that the tooth fairy could use as a hair tie. And I have to hook them around the top one and hook them around the bottom one. And I couldn't even roll the rubber band over my little finger. That's how small these rubber bands are. And I was thinking, wow, they have somehow made a way to make the world's most pain in the ass mouth guard more of a pain in the ass. And it's me having to spend 45 minutes hooking the world's tiniest rubber bands over the top of them. Well you could have braces

that's the thing, the Vizaline people would be like mate you have braces and you've chosen Sometimes you do have to use the rubber bands for braces as well, I did and they're a pain in the ass and it makes you look like you've got especially if you have the rubber bands towards the front of your teeth, it makes you look like you've got little fangs or like your dribble is connecting between your teeth.

Yeah, I know, dribble lines. I've now cracked it where I use tweezers, so it's like playing a game of Operation every night. We hook it on with the tweezers and then try and hook it back down. It's precision stuff. It's like a bomb disposal experiment. You go in the red or green wire in a movie. Next on the show, the news and beeps.

Producer Juliette's found some actual news headlines, beeped out one critical word, and we need to guess what they are. Have a listen. Sorry, I haven't actually beeped it yet. Oh, checked out last day? Checked out. Checked out, mate.

No. Sorry, I haven't beeped it yet. It's called the news and beeps. Yeah. What's your main job? Otherwise, it's just news. Next, we're doing news. I'm going to beep it during the song.

You should have checked out, haven't you? Kielder, I'm Rachel Jackson-Lees and this is the BEEP News. One thing I won't miss about Producer Juliet is her constant beeping of these perfectly good headlines. We've been way too polite to say it this whole time, but Jew,

it makes it quite complicated for us to figure out what the actual story is when you beep them. I'm so sorry that that's the case, but I'm glad that we can make it quirky in the meantime. There we go, we got it off our chest, Ben, finally on the last day. So your first news story is Donald Trump issues official

press statement to let everyone know about his... So you made that sound rude by speaking that, yeah. I'm not going to go there. I'm going to say Donald Trump, he's issued a press statement to let everyone know about his new range of ice creams, Donald Trumpets.

Ah, that's genius. I'm also saying he's diversifying his businesses to an official statement to let everyone know about his new chiropractic franchise, Crooked Hillary. And his new bed store, Sleepy Joe. Hey, has he got some products on the way, Julia? Oh, we'll see.

Donald Trump issues official press statement to let everyone know about his hole-in-one. So, he has a lifetime ban on Twitter, and without a platform to tell everyone about his news, he released a statement directly from his office. It said, many people are asking, so I'll give it to you now. It is 100% true. I hit a 5-iron which sailed magnificently into

a rather strong wind, with approximately 5 feet of cut, whereupon it bounced twice and then went clank right into the hole. It was huge. Tremendous. Tremendous, tremendous. I love that he's like, we need to get this news out there. The people want to know.

I know, they really do. Official press release. If he was in the White House, he definitely would have held a press conference. Oh, yeah. Taking questions on it. They'll be like, I don't want to ask questions about the pandemic. I want to ask the questions about my whole life.

I love that. Speaking of his funny nicknames, Crooked Hillary and Sleepy Joe, do you know how many nicknames he came up with? There's actually a website, there's a page dedicated on Wikipedia. 150 nicknames he gave people while he was in the White House.

Wow. He's bloody good at a nickname. Beady-eyed Betty. Stretchy Mike. You know, and he comes up up just on the spot too. And your next news story. A s*** show is coming down under this year.

Well, I'm hoping you beeped out the Jono and Ben TV show and this is the quirky way we're going to find out. I'm hoping it's coming back down under this year. I'm going to say a s*** show is coming down under this year and I think it's currently on tour. Ben and me bought tickets to it. A Shrek-themed burlesque show is coming down under this year.

So it's called Shrek-lesque, and just think sexy Shrek. Sexy Shrek with... Oh, I have. Yeah, burlesque drag parody. It's going to be in Wellington on the 8th and 9th of July. And think of a sexy donkey just basically taking the mickey out of Shrek. So bring the kids or don't bring the kids? I would say maybe don't bring the kids.

Okay. Yeah. They love Shrek. They love it. It's one of their favourite movies. I know. But maybe just keep the PG movies on for them instead of... We mentioned it before, Ben, when you took your young ones to mermaids

they thought they were going to see some real life mermaids. Yeah I learnt that the hard way And that is the news and beeps for you this morning. Coming up very shortly the new highway just out of Wellington opened yesterday but there was quite a few problems. We'll bring you up to speed before 7 on the Hats

The annoying ones talking between the songs Jono and Ben on the hats the annoying ones talking between the songs jono and ben on the hats we're talking accidental pocket dials butt dials whatever you want to call them uh they're accidental and they all happen to us don't they i still can't figure out the physics of it so you know your average pocket how can your average pocket make so many phone calls? I know. Obviously, your thighs have an important role to play. I feel like it's often on your fault because you put it back in without locking your screen. I feel like we have a lot to play.

You're putting it back on us. Well, yeah, and also your body as well. That's still part of your body, your pocket and stuff, right? Yeah, my dream is to have someone phone up and start talking smack about me all i want to do is listen oh my god don't you juliet oh i like would be in i'd be intrigued but then i'd be like oh my god what if i actually like get really offended by what they say well whenever i'm talking to you and they start talking smack about ben you can rest rest assured Ben, I join in and I family. Exactly. Murray's on the phone with us. You got a pocket

doll, Murray? We went over to a mate's place and I'd just gone through the separation and he asked how things were going and I sort of started talking to him and then started talking to him more and blurting off all this crap which was going down with the ex and life and

unbeknownst, I had my phone in my pocket and it had rung her and she was listening for half an hour while we discussed what was going down. And I'm gathering nothing but favourable comments about your ex-partner. Oh, yeah, I know. She really stuck it in there, though, but I guess she probably would in that situation Why wouldn't you? I would I know

Did she acknowledge that she'd heard at any stage? She knew I was talking about her And she was there just listening And then I got this simple text afterwards Of I can't even repeat what she had actually said There's a little bit of you die inside when you realise that Oh yeah simple text afterwards of, I can't even repeat what she had actually said. Oh, Murray. There's a little bit of you die inside when you realise that.

Oh, yeah. It was funny. Mind you, it sounds like the relationship had already ended, so there probably wasn't much more damage you could have done. Exactly. Oh, that's great.

Thank you for your call, Murray. Appreciate it. No sweat. Cheers. Bryce, you're here. Guess what? You're on the radio with your mates, Jono and Ben. Well done.

What happened, buddy? Yeah, talking. Well, it wasn't a pocket file. It was myself and wife were actually driving along. We were going away in a couple of weeks' time on holiday and quite an animated and graphic discussion about what I planned to do and what her views on it were and stuff. Right, right.

Halfway through the conversation, I just stopped there talking, and she looked at me. I said, we'd put a dash cam in the car a couple of weeks previous to that. I said, this bloody thing's recording everything we say.

I said, if we ever crash, imagine if the kids or the cops play that back. Quite an animated conversation about what I plan to do and what she planned to do back. Quite an animated conversation about what I plan to do and what you plan to do back. It was quite graphic, actually. So what sort of things

did you want to do on your vacation? Let's just say we're also recording this too, mate. There wouldn't have been much outside sightseeing, that's for real. That's a wonderful call. Thank you very much, Bryce. Appreciate it. No bother.

Scrolling through your feed. All right, I'll hand you over to our little news squirrel who's been nibbling away on the nuts from the topicality tree. Ben Boyce, what have we got? We talked a little bit about Transmission Gully yesterday. So it's a new stretch of motorway, 27 kilometres from Wellington and the Kapiti Coast. Now, let me guess, this wouldn't be New Zealand for something new to open,

new and shiny, and for us to find the negatives on it. Yeah, I mean, originally it came in years and millions of dollars over budget. It cost about $1 billion to make this road. So some said it didn't shave much time off the commute, having driven the road yesterday. The average was 7 to 15 minutes, wasn't it? Yeah, but some people said it didn't really shave too much off the commute. And other people said they got smashed or cracked windscreens

from the new stones flicking everywhere. Yeah, so maybe it's something Novus have teamed up with the land transport people. Or should we shut it again? Let's shut it again. It's not working for people. Also, cell phone coverage can be a problem with a number of spots where it doesn't work as well. So there's a few teething problems as well. Poor transmission galley.

It's like all I'm trying to do is just be a helpful little road for you, you know, and I've been millions and millions of dollars over budget I've just been talked about for a hundred years, basically. Yeah, you're right. That's when they first started talking about it.

It's always fun to love driving down a new bit of road, don't you? You love driving, it's your thing, eh? Yeah, I do. There's one, there's a new stretch that just completely bypasses Hamilton. And you're like, what forest did we just mow through to create this road? Oh, yeah, that's right. You kind of lose your bearings because you miss out Huntly and, you know, all of those towns that probably are really going to suffer without the drive-through traffic.

True. So you're saying that time that I got lost driving back from Hamilton, that could happen to anyone? Now, here, Juliet, I've said this to you before. Your main role when you're coming back from Hamilton is just stay on State Highway 1. Like, I don't know how much more. Can you make that any easier for your average motorist?

No. We got lost driving from Hamilton to Auckland and ended up in some weird suburb that hadn't even been built yet, but they'd just laid the road in. We did, actually. It was hell on earth that Ben was driving, and I didn't say anything, and I was like, oh, this is an interesting road.

Maybe he knows a shortcut or something, you know? Like, I'm surprised by this, because I would have, if you had told me this story saying one of you did this, I would not expect it to be Ben. I thought it would be Jono to be, oh, yeah, shortcut, don't worry, this skips all the travellers. Well, I think we were running late and there was traffic or something was going on, so we were like,

we're going to have to take an alternate route. That was in my mind, and it took us to a place that didn't really exist anymore. It's funny he says that because I didn't see much traffic, and he never vocalised we're going to have to take an alternative route. He just silently fed off. Apparently today, of course, is April Fool's, which has been around for a long, long time.

Historians reckon that it started in about the 1500s. You were actually doing some research to do with France switching their calendar years. Yeah, they went from the Julian calendar to the Gregorian calendar, which we know and love today, one of the top five calendars. And that difference between the Julian calendar, I think, started their first day of the year was April 1, and the Gregorian is January 1. So when people are celebrating New Year's in April,

they're like, ah, April fools, I guess would have been the thing, right? And so when people were ringing the New Year's bells on April 1, they'd be like, you fool, you haven't switched over to the Gregorian. What are you? An idiot. And then they'd punish them by pranking them and putting fish on their back. That's right.

How do you pull that off? I don't know. They shout something that equates, sorry, that translates to April fish, apparently, when they put fish on their back as well. The Romans used to have a holiday called Hilaria, which I imagine might be the origins of hilarious. Yeah, where they play jokes on each other, very similar to April fools.

And you've only got it till 12 o'clock. That's the cutoff. I don't know why it is when it's a whole day. But anyway, midday's the time. It's like, done. You know, if you do it after that, you're not allowed. What happens to, you know, the likes of us who prank all year round? 12 months a year.

We're just a pain in the arse, I think. A 12-monthly pain in the arse. Yeah. And that is scrolling to your feed this morning. After 7 o'clock, it's back again. We could win you $5,000 heading into a weekend. Five words, 5K. It is the hits.

Morning. Contained. Storgy parenting advice. Jono and Ben on the hits. So, Jono and Ben, on your Friday morning. Now, on Sunday, it is Daylight Savings. 3 o'clock, it kicks in, and we're turning the clocks back an hour. That's right, Jono?

Yeah, turn them back an hour, which is fantastic news for us, but not so much for the little ones. Sometimes I like to use sedatives, you know, just to get those kids to sleep a little bit longer. Okay, all right. Do you reckon that's advised by Holly Jean who we're about to have on? No, the parentingplace.nz is a website, a great website with some helpful tips, some actual tips,

better than Jono's. And Holly Jean's joining us right now to talk us about how we can get kids through this difficult period of daylight savings. Good morning, Holly. How are you? Good morning. How are you doing? We're doing all right. Heard that you're a bit sick. Yeah, we're at the end of our COVID.

We're getting towards the end of our COVID journey, but that's been an experience. What are they saying out there about John and Ben doing COVID? Is it getting a lot of good street talk there holly oh definitely talk of the town like yeah great parents at schools can't talk about anything else i imagine there's going to be an article on the parenting place at some stage about it all how to tell your kids and guide your kids through jono and ben being stuck at home with covid i mean it'll be top top of the pile i imagine but this weekend obviously daylight savings, Holly-Jean.

And it is a dream for any adult in their career to have that one time of the year where they feel like they're getting an extra hour of sleep. But to convince a kid that they have to stay in bed for an extra hour is a nightmare for the children, I imagine. Totally. Yeah, totally. And it's probably going to be a little bit harder for you too. Like post-COVID, your energy won't be as great.

So I just think like prepare yourselves. It's probably going to be a little bit of a rough week because while it's exciting to think, yes, we're getting extra hours of sleep, if our kids are getting up at six o'clock, they're now getting up at five o'clock in the morning, raring to go, which is not such a fun time for us. So, you know, it can mean that in the next week we might be a little bit more prone to

being a bit grumpy, a bit irritable and short. And for our kids, when they're tired, that can show itself in kind of wild moods, crying, tantrums, whining, and that can be so Hard to handle when we're all So really tired. Kids can often Have very big feelings inside their Little bodies and so can we so I think Just going into next week Prepare yourself that you might not be

Feeling as energetic As you might have Previously been feeling And getting them to bed From tonight if you can get them to bed 15 minutes earlier every night until Sunday night, by Sunday night you've ended up getting them to bed an hour earlier. They might not go to sleep at that time,

but it's helping their circadian rhythm and their body get used to going to bed at an earlier time. Sometimes as a parent you can do everything. The kids go through all the routine, and that happens to everyone. You just have a parent you can do everything. The kids go through all the routine and that happens to everyone. You just have nights that you can't sleep. I guess in that instance it's good not to get stressed out, not to let it get the better of you.

Oh, definitely. And I was thinking about that this morning because sometimes my kids will go through cycles where they just drop off and go to sleep so easily and it's no trouble at all. And other times they'll have days or weeks where they just can't seem to settle and they can't seem to get to sleep and it can be really frustrating

especially if you have an agenda things that you want to do at night but you just have to roll with it you can't you're not in control you just have to you know that it will change you've got to ride it out I mean last night we had friends around for dinner and they stayed quite late. And my kids, six and ten, didn't end up going to sleep until ten o'clock, which is so late for them. And it's a school night, but they were just so wide and pumped after hanging out with their friends. And they ended up hopping into bed with me and I just had to lie there with them really quietly

and talk to them really calmly. And eventually they kind of dropped the energy and could get to sleep. But, you know, I was just like, I've got things to do. I've got to clean up after the, you know, after the dinner. There's, like, mess in the kitchen. But I knew that if I didn't give them that attention and that time, they just wouldn't be able to get to sleep. And, yeah, it was still, it was a bit of an effort,

but you've just got to, yeah, relax. It will pass. Yeah, and the more I hear you talk, the more I keep thinking, how long can I drag this COVID thing out and keep myself locked away? Absolutely. Listen, Holly Jean, thank you very much. And also, guys, it's a great time to check your smoke alarms as well, mainly so you don't have to deal with that inconveniently timed beeping

of the flat battery noise in about two months' time. Change the batteries on those because the only thing more annoying than your house going up in flames is that noise at three o'clock in the morning. No worries, I'm off to check my smoke alarms. See you, mate. Spy. Know what's up. Spy.co.nz

Now, this is Juliet's final spy. Her swan song. The only spies she'll deal with now are the Russian ones who visit the owners of the billionaire super yachts she's going to be working on. Juliet, take it away. Your final one. Oh my gosh, my final one. This is so weird.

So David and Victoria Beckham's house in London got burgled while they were at home with their 10-year-old daughter Harper. So this burglar stole thousands of pounds worth of items, designer items and electronics, and apparently they didn't realise their house had been broken into until their 17-year-old son, Cruz, returned home from a night out

and found a broken window in one of their spare bedrooms that had been ransacked. That's a sign that your home's too large. I know. I know. That's exactly what I was thinking. Yeah. It was scary, though.

I mean, being in the home and being at the property. It's terrifying. Terrifying. You know, a lot of burglaries happen while, you know, families are asleep upstairs. You know, many burglars creep into a lounge. I mean, we creep around the house every morning and our family doesn't wake up. I can imagine all the stuff I could steal

from my family. Well, you did have to break into your own house the other day, didn't you? Yeah, and they didn't wake up at all. So it is, you know, it sounds freaky. Oh God, there's someone in there while you're in there. But it happens probably nine times out of ten, I imagine, with burglars. Oh, that's so scary. I only remember once when I was a teenager my parents house my car was in the driveway and

then I got up to get a drink of water in the middle of the night my car wasn't there and I thought that's strange and I walked outside and my car was halfway down the driveway with all the doors open and I was like oh that's strange and then uh went and uh shut them and kind of tried to push it back to where it was from and then the car pulled up with the people who had obviously tried to break into it and they'd come back. And they're at the top of the driveway and I just looked at them and they're like, sorry, bowl. And then drove off.

And I was like, oh, you know, at least they said sorry, bowl. Sorry, bowl. And I was like, well, it's, you know, they, I don't know how sorry they were because they clearly come back to get it. Yeah. Yeah. You got me. You got me.

Sorry, Bol. All right, we'll catch you later. Get me on the next one. And just quickly, just an update on the Will Smith saga. You might have seen yesterday that the Academy tried to kick Will out of the Oscars and he refused, but turns out that actually isn't entirely true. Apparently a producer came up to Will Smith during the Oscars

and said, no, it's fine, you can stay, although there were officials, it was kind of split half and half on whether they wanted to kick him out or not, and no one really came to a decision, hence why he stayed at the ceremony. Ceremony, yes. But turns out maybe the Academy kind of said this to maybe cover themselves up as to why they didn't remove him. You know the thing, it just gets uglier and uglier

the longer these things drag on and the more angles the media try to find on whose fault was it that he wasn't, why was he burnt at the stake? This sort of thing, you know. But in reality, he made a mistake. We all mess up. Instead of all of us going, why don't we ruin his career and burn down his mansion?

Just go, hey, well, why don't you just try and do better in the future? That's true. Yeah, you're right. Well said, Jono. It's how you react to mistakes. That's right. He can't change what's happened. All he can do now is become a better person than he was that night.

And we all suffer. The coronavirus pulsing through your veins must be changing you. I like this. Are you worried there's a genital joke coming up soon? I'll wrap him up before he gets there. It is the hits. You've got Jono and Ben. Now, a supermarket worker in Australia has pointed out a bad habit that many of us shoppers do at the supermarket.

Normally, when I read these, I like to go, oh, I'm not one that does that. But on this particular occasion, I'm doing it. You like to think you're better. You like to think you're better than the other people here. I hoped I would be. I like thinking about the people working in retail, doing the hard yards. But, okay, Juliet, as well, do you do this? do this okay so you're at the supermarket and you're going around with your trolley and then you decide that you don't want an item whether that be mid-aisle or whether

that be up at the counter do you put that item back back where you got it from or do you just sort of put it on the shelf somewhere or put it underneath the... I don't put it back where it belongs. Exactly, yeah. Because why walk the extra bloody mile, you know? One time I put a bottle of Ginola in the avocados. But I can understand because this person in Australia who works in the supermarket says it's quite frustrating because you find all these random items not where they're from.

Why are there knickers in the fish fingers in the freezer? Yeah. Maybe they need a little thing by the counters at the end where you just sort of put your items that you don't want. The regretful purchases bucket or something. Yeah, I don't want, and then they're all there, and then they can go back from there. Or maybe we could just put them back where we got them from

when we got them in the first place. But it's funny. Or at the end of each aisle, it was the, what were you thinking bucket? Yes! That is so smart. That is so smart. And then the supermarket workers can just swoop by

and just, you know, go back and replace stuff. But I can imagine that it would be frustrating if you're working at the supermarket to find, you know, those items just left all over the place. Yeah, I imagine that is annoying. Do you know, on the weekend, all over the place. Yeah, I imagine that is annoying. Do you know, on the weekend, when I was able to go out and spread the virus without knowing I had it.

Before you tested positive, yeah. Before I tested positive. God knows who I gave it to. But I was in a clothing shop, and I saw a lady, and she was trying on, you know, getting some clothes for her son and she was doing it in front of the employee now a mother son shopping excursion there couldn't be a more

painful experience for both parties uh being you you'll testify Juliet I'm sure a mother daughter shopping thing's a whole different whole different thing but boys they don't want to go and they don't want to go and try on clothes like you couldn't ask a boy to do a worse task in life oh yeah and my mum would always make me get changed in the store in the store yeah yeah just get changed there but mum there's people from my school and they're like just put the trousers on here oh my gosh i can sort of relate to this on some little level i actually do like shopping with mum sometimes but what she does is i'll be like trying something on in the changing room and she'll be like, oh, how's it going?

And like open the door. I'm like, mum! Well, when it comes to boys, like the changing room is not even an option for your mum. It's kind of take your pants off and put these car keys on in the middle of Helen's. Cordler eyes. These cords would look nice on you.

So anyway, she's doing this in front of the shop assistant where she's getting T-shirts and she's holding them up to her son, but then she's just dumping them back on the pile, not even refolding them. And I imagine for a clothes retail worker, that must be the most aggravating, the most excruciating thing is having to go around refolding everything

that we've just picked up and scrunched back. Yeah, you're right. I'll just throw it out there this morning. 0800 the hits, 4487 is our text number. If you work in retail, what's something that we do that, you know, can be kind of annoying for you? Yeah, let's do retail therapy for retail workers right now. You can text 4487, 0800 the hits is the number?

0800 the hits? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know why. Yeah, 0800 the hits is the telephone number as well. Hopefully we can all learn from this together and stop doing these things, so love to hear from you next on that.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. We're finding out this morning things we do in shops that could be a little bit annoying for the retail workers there. Do you know one thing I did see a couple of weeks ago, and I think every adult wants to do this, is when you go and you buy an item in a shop and all you want to do is wear that item there and then. And I saw a fully grown man, like he would have been 40s to 50s. He had bought a brand new

shirt and he's like god damn it I want to wear this thing out of this shop so he took his shirt off that he was wearing at the counter and boom buttoned up that sucker and walked on out of there with his head held high. Was this you? Sounds like something you'd do Well that was the excuse I gave for getting naked

in the shop so on the text 4487, retail therapy for retail workers, things that ask the customers do to annoy retail workers. Someone has texted saying it's a common occurrence for a lot of the female shoppers to pull out their credit card from their brassiere bed. Oh, is this like a summertime thing when people are still wearing togs and bits and pieces?

Julia, do you use that as an extra wallet no I don't I seriously don't I would rather carry a wallet the wallet of the chest they call it I don't know

if anyone's ever called it that Jasmine has stopped her gym workout to join us this morning what were you on were you on the elliptical bike

or the cross trainer or whatever no I was just doing like weight thingies. Oh, weight things. You're cooling down now, though, so we need to make this quick. You need to get back in there, right?

No, it's all right. But this is retail therapy for retail workers. Now, what annoys those in the retail industry? So I used to work at a supermarket, and when people were like, oh, you know, if the item doesn't scan, obviously the barcodes are a bit funny. People are like, oh, if the item doesn't scan, obviously the barcodes are a bit funny. People are like, oh, it must be for free, ha, ha, ha, and you're just like, what?

I have done that. You would have done that. You would have done that. Oh, it must be for free. When it doesn't have a price tag on it or something, I'm like, oh, have I done the same thing that everyone else has done? You just sit there and kind of sarcastically laugh at them. So, Ben, did you think you were coming over some OG content?

Well, for me, it felt new. For me, it felt like new material, but obviously not for you at the supermarket. No. How many times a day are you getting this? Quite a lot, every day. Every day? Oh, Ben, you're just one of the pack.

Are you telling me you've never said, oh, that must be free? No. No, because I'm not 65. Jasmine, you go and have a great day. We'll let you get back to doing those squats. See you. Katie joins us from Blenheim.

Welcome to Retail Therapy for Retail Workers. What are we doing to annoy the retail sector? Oh, I get customers in all the time. I've got a little $2 shop, and I have people come in, and they'll just, right up to the desk, just ignore that I'm busy, and they'll launch into their life story and tell me all about how it'll be anti-vax use, or it'll be, oh, my landlord's such a horrible person,

or, oh, all sorts of stuff. They just won't shut up for hours. I'll be trying to serve customers around them and they just don't seem to have any awareness of who's around them. Oh, so you're saying that when you ask for, you know, just little bits of conversation, nothing too deep that some customers

do go quite deep with things going on. Yep, they just launch straight into their deepest, most personal issues. I've had issues about their surgeries that they've had, about their personal hygiene, about... What are they talking about? Personal hygiene that they've had, about their personal hygiene. What are they talking about? Personal hygiene? That was between me and Katie.

Katie, we don't need to talk about that right now on the radio. Katie's now told me I need to shower every day. We're doing that. You work in a $2 shop. One of my favorite games is to ask how much everything is. Do you get people that do that? Most of my stuff isn't $2, so it's not as much fun in my shop.

Because that was fun when everything was $2. How much is this? This drink bottle, $2. What about this? $2. This is coming from the same guy who, when there's not a price attached to an item, says, I'm guessing this is free. Oh, yeah. i get that one all

the time i thought that was an original original content oh wow i'm finding out i'm learning a lot now what i do love about the two dollar shops is they've had to move with inflation there's one down the road for me which started out as a one dollar shop and then it went and two dollar shop and then it's added and three shop, and then it's added and $3 shop, and now it's just gone and more. So it's the one, two, three, and more dollar store, a.k.a. a regular shop. Pretty much, yeah.

And you've got such an array of items in those stores as well. Yeah, we've got everything. My average price would be $3,'m not too bad at price creeps I can get a lunchbox some tinsel for Christmas and a Freddy Krueger mask all in the same aisle Exactly It's just everything you need

Lovely talking to you this morning You enjoy your day in Blenheim, alright? You too Five words for 5k You're just five words away from $5,000. It is our game of word association. We play it every morning at this time on The Hits. We tell you five words. You tell us

what pops into your head after those five words. Then one of us plays it. If we match all five words with your five words, you win $5,000. Tell me the first word that popped into your head when I say positive test result. Seven days last election. Tell me what letter it started with.

Tell me what letter it started with. Yeah. Let's get Jimmy. Jimmy, you're on from Auckland, a school teacher. Morena. Morena. Kitsupiakui.

Lovely to have you on, Jimmy. How's your day going, buddy? Look, mate, it's about to be a lot better. Oh. I feel like we're going to give you $5,000, Jimbo. I've got a good feeling running through my veins. Now, Jimmy, you've played the game before in the car. Have you hypothetically won?

Have you been playing along and won an imaginary 5K? I'm good for about two out of five. Okay. Yeah, I mean, look, it's a tough game, but I'm bringing some positivity to it. Yeah, good on you. Good on you, Jimmy. I've got a good feeling about this one.

It could be the Omicron floating around in my system, or it could be the fact you're about to win some money. Jimmy, who do you want to put into, well, it's not really a soundproof booth. Who do you want to take off their headphones and stand away from the radio broadcast? Do you want Jono or Ben? Jono, please. All righty.

Removing the headphones, disappearing from the camera. Goodbye. I don't want to see you, mate. All right, here we go, Jimmy. Your first word this morning, what pops into your head when I say April? April. Fools.

Fools? Biden is the second word this morning. Biden, B-I-D-E-N? Joe. Joe. He's playing a good, quick game. Producer Juliet, you matching so far? Yep, absolutely.

Marmite is word number three, Jimmy. Marmite. Toast. Marmite, toast. He's not mucking around. I like this. Very good. Spill.

S-P-I-L-L. Spill. Water. Spill water. And finally, tree is your final word. Tree. Plant. Plant.

Yeah, happy with all those. You played a very quick game. Was that your tactic coming in? Yeah. Yeah, don't muck around. Don't muck around. All right, I'm going to start waving to Jono. Can you see?

Hello, mate. Yeah, he's coming back. He's coming back. Here we go. Jono Pryor, that was a quick game. Jimmy was playing a quick game, Jono. Jeez, you fired through it, mate. He's coming back. He's coming back. Here we go. Jono Pryor. That was a quick game. Jimmy was playing a quick game, Jono. Jeez, you fired through it, Jimmy. Now, as a schoolteacher, how old are the kids you're teaching?

So they're year eight. So they're 11 and 12. You're at the front line. You're at the coalface. Have you managed to dodge the vid? Hell no. No, no. The whole family got it.

So some good mandated family time. So some good mandated family time. Yeah, government mandated family time. And how hard is it making kids wear masks all day long? Because I struggle to do it. The kids are really adaptable. So, you know, like the kids I'm teaching have had coming close to two and a half years of sort of COVID restrictions and things like that.

So it's almost like they don't know the other side of it. So they're actually really good. Kids don't know the other side of it. So they're actually really good. Kids are better than us. I love it. All right, Jono, here we go. Let's see if we can win Jimmy $5,000. The first word we said to Jimmy this morning was April.

April fools. That'll be one from five. It's a good start. Biden is the second word. Joe Biden. Oh, okay. Shush your sweet little lips, Ben Boyce. Yes, he's two from five.

This is good. All right, Marmite. Marmite. Toast? Ooh! Oh, Jimmy. Now, Jimmy said he's always had two out of five. He's already beaten his PB.

Next word this morning, Jono. Spill. S-P-I-L-L. Spill. S-P-I-L-L. Spill. Jeez. I was trying to think what a school teacher would say. Spill. Would you go like oil spill?

I was thinking you might be teaching kids about... What did you go, Jimmy? I went water. Ah, of course. Spilled some water. It was good. Spilled milk was another one. Spilled the tea. There's plenty of options for that one.

And the last word was tree. Tree? I'll go tree trunk. So not a bad effort you guys started so well. You're compatible and then things fell away Like many relationships We'll stay together for the kids Jimmy Yeah yeah Good on you mate

Thank you so much for listening buddy You go and teach the youth of Aotearoa And have a great weekend You guys too thanks a lot I appreciate it Another chance on Monday morning 7.45 to win $5,000. It is not a liar.

We game, we play. We get two callers on. One is telling the truth and one is telling a lie. And today, of course, is April Fool's. So one of them is going to be playing a very lighthearted April Fool's Day prank on us. That's right. Yeah. Now, traditionally, when it comes to radio,

the fooling is done by the radio stations to the audience, isn't it, Ben? Yeah, you're right. We've flipped them on its head today, haven't we? So you can trick us fools into believing your lie, but it's now the time to reveal that we haven't had COVID this whole time. It's all just been a joke. But, yeah, I was looking into April Fool's.

It's quite interesting that, you know, it dates back to the early 1500s when France switched from one version of the calendar to the Gregorian calendar. Now, the switch meant that the first day of the year moved from April 1st to January 1st. People sometimes, while they were getting used to the new calendar, would still accidentally ring the New Year's bells on April 1st. And they were considered fools because they hadn't heard about the calendar change.

And these fools, they would be laughed at and others would play tricks on them, including attaching fish to their backs. Wow, okay. Well, there we go. The history behind April Fools. Why, at any stage when someone's attaching a fish to your back, do you not go, what are you doing back there?

Very unusual. All right, let's get our callers on, eh? First on the phone, we have Dave. Welcome to Liar Liar, Dave. Come at us with your story. Well, I was featured in an Academy Award winning film. Oh, wow. Were you on screen?

Part of me was on screen, yes. Part Were you on screen? Part of me was on screen, yes. Part of you on screen? Is this a recent movie or is this a movie that dates back quite a while ago? No, it's relatively recently. It sort of came out at the end of last year.

So was it nominated for an Academy Award this year, the movie? It was. It was nominated for multiple Academy Awards, and it did win. Oh, it's a Dave. Is this David Duchovny? Do you want to think of famous actors? No, it's a slightly different David, yeah. It's a different David.

Not David Fincher. David Hasselhoff? Yeah, it's David Hasselhoff. It's David Hasselhoff? Yeah, it's David Hasselhoff. It's David Hasselhoff. I knew it. I knew it. It was either you or David Chappelle. Okay.

All right. Well, Dave, we'll leave that there. That'd be pretty cool if we were talking to someone who was actually a part of an Academy Award winning movie. Welcome to the April Fool's edition of Liar Liar. Phoebs, how are you going? I'm going good. Thanks, guys. How are you? Yeah, good. Are you telling the truth? I suppose you'll have to find out. She's not going to be easily fooled, all right. All right, Phoebe, what is your statement? Okay, so the Oscars happened here on Sunday in America,

I'm in the States at the moment, and without elaborating on who my partner actually is, he is a part of Denzel Washington's PR team. So I flew over last month so I could attend the Oscars as his plus one. And I don't even know how this is possible, but basically I ended up sharing a limousine with Will and Jada Smith and their team. It just so happens to be that way. Me and my partner were put in the same one. It wasn't initially planned, but I ended up in the same limousine.

I was God smacked. Was this happier times when they were on the way to the awards? It was actually on the way before any of it happened. I know, I know. I knew what I was in and planned for. I mean, thank God I had a couple of it happened. I know, I know. I knew what I was planned for. I mean, thank God I had a couple of drinks beforehand. Hair and makeup was done at

6am. Okay, well these are two amazing statements, but one is a truth and one is a lie. 4487 is our text message. Who do you reckon is telling the truth? Who's telling a lie? We're going to come back in a moment. And one of them had something to do with the Oscars. Legit.

The Hits. Your essential listening for non-essential banter. Jono and Ben on The Hits. It is Would I Lie To You. We get two statements. Liar, liar, sorry. Oh, sorry. Liar, Would I Lie To You is a very successful show.

We ripped it off from that, right? See, we just gave it a different name, remember? That was going to cover us in a plagiarism case. Oh, it doesn't now because I've clearly revealed. It's Lie, a Lie, we get two statements. One is truthful, one is a lie. We need to work out what is the truth and what is the lie. That's right.

Now, just to recap on the stories today, we had David with your story, which was, Dave? That I was featured in an Academy Award-winning film. Okay. And part of him was featured in an anime. We don't know what part of him. All of them sounds great. We've got that one.

And we also have Phoebe who claims... So basically, I ended up in a limousine with Will Smith and Jada Smith due to being a plus one of my partner who is the PR team of Denzel Washington. Okay, so both sound equally ludicrous

and convincing. Ben, I'm stuck on this one. It might be the Omicron running through my veins but I can't decide. What's on the text machine? Which way are they leaning? A lot of people are leaning towards Phoebe, who shared a limousine with slap-happy Will Smith.

70-30 split saying that Phoebe is telling the truth. So, Phoebe, we're going to back the audience, back the people. You shared a limousine with Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith on Sunday night in Los Angeles it was a lie why would you do this to us Phoebe yeah I tell you why she did it to us because producer Bee Hump's got her to do it to us

so I mean you really don't have to answer that question Phoebe well done on lying you go and continue your day and have a great day you guys too, take care So you really don't have to answer that question, Phoebe. Well done on lying. You go and continue your day and have a great day. You guys too. Take care. All right. She April fooled us, which means Dave, who joins us again,

you were telling the truth. You were a part of which movie that was nominated for the Academy Awards? Right. Well, I did the banjo music and Jane Campion's The Power of the Dog. They just won Best Director at the Oscars. Wow. You're obviously a banjo player. Well, yeah, they're really scraping the barrel of your words.

Yeah, among other things. Yeah, yeah. No, banjo player, guitar player. I wouldn't imagine there's a deep barrel of banjo players in New Zealand, Dave. No, no. It's a good little niche to occupy there because um yeah if I was in the states I'd be playing with the big boys but yeah New Zealand um yeah there's there's not that many of us they got me into uh write some music for it

and uh I taught Benedict Cumberbatch how to how to um uh look the part and um yeah and I was a hand double on the film and oh hold on and you gave Cumberbatch a bloody personal banjo lesson yeah absolutely yes I spent quite a bit of time with Benedict yeah sort of both in lessons and on set was sort of hanging out and making sure that he was looking the part well so what was he like to hang out with and then to also take banjo lessons with oh he was great yeah no he was, he was really friendly and witty. And yeah, we spent a bit of time. So like, yeah, I had some interesting conversations.

He's quite well-read and funny and yeah, just relaxed. He was great. Now tell me, are we talking to the same pair of hands that featured in the movie The Power of Dogs? So you're using the same hands now. So your hands are a close-up of the banjo, I'm guessing. That's right. They managed to cover my hands in a whole bunch of makeup filth,

so they would look the part. And, yeah, you're on the phone with some famous hands right now. Now, do you find that these, you know, Academy Award winning hands, that they sort of are wandering around with a certain level of smugness compared to the rest of your body now? Yeah, I think they go a little bit up themselves at the moment, yeah. So I'm just trying to bring them down to earth a little bit, you know. Get them to do the dishes and, you know, take out the moment. Yeah. So I'm just trying to bring them down to earth a little bit, you know, get them to do the dishes and, you know,

take out the trash and stuff. Not these hands. Not these hands. These are Academy Award winning hands. You've got to keep those hands grounded. Yeah, absolutely. Now,

I don't know how much you're allowed to talk about. So obviously don't answer this if you can't, but we had read that Benedict's quite a method actor. Like he was smoking a lot of cigarettes. He wasn't showering as much. He's admitted this himself. I imagine that wouldn't have been the case when you were having lessons.

No, no, totally. I think I was probably, you know, yeah, I was definitely lucky that I think a lot of the people on set, you know, didn't really meet Benedict Cumberbatch until the end of the filming process because he was kind of quite method on set and he was really

staying in that character whereas I guess I was coming from the outside as a bit of a special advisor and I was just hanging out in his trailer and he was just himself so yeah it was great. Were you nervous? I was nervous to start off with, you know,

because they flew me down to Alexandra and they were like, okay, we'll just get you to fly down there and you can meet Jane Campion and Benedict Cumberbatch. So it was a little bit tense before I met them. But once I did, it was quite informal, actually. I actually met their families and had lunch with them. DavidWardMusician.com if you want to go check him out. Incredible.

Thank you so much for your time this morning. What a fascinating story. No worries, guy. Get fueled up with the Hitz Fuel Grab. You can win your share of thousands of dollars worth of fuel on the Hitz Fuel Grab thanks to gas petrol service stations. You've just got to say stop before the pump runs out it's pretty simple to play and you walk away either way with $50 gas thanks to gas petrol service stations yeah there's the uh the five emotions you go through of purchasing petrol at the moment denial anger bargaining depression

then acceptance isn't it that's the that's what you run through at the pub at the moment. We'll go to the phones on 0800THETS right now to give away some free gas. We're going to head to Invercargill. Who have we got on the phone, Ju? Ashley. Ashley, welcome. Hi, guys. Morning. How's the South treating you this morning, Ash?

Good. How's the COVID treating you, boy? I'm getting to the end of it. Jono, you're a couple of days behind, aren't you? Yeah, it's good. I haven't showered in four days. Hey, you were taking the piss out of Southland. Fierce beer. When have I ever taken the mickey out of Southland?

When have you not? I like Ashley. This is revenge. Hey, now, Ash, this petrol, what would you do with it? I know what you would do with it, but would it come in handy? Well, we are in the middle of IVF, so we have to travel to Dunedin. So petrol is very expensive and we don't get any funding for that. And we're also isolating because we don't want COVID while we're doing IVF.

So it means I could go away for the weekend for some road trips with my husband because that's about all we can do, just go for drives. So it would be very helpful. Well, you couldn't put this petrol to any better use. So at the moment, you've already won $50 worth. Woohoo! Now you just need to say stop before the pump runs out, before you hear the buzzer. Let's go to the gas petrol station's fuel pump.

$50. $84. $105. $145. $198. $233. Ashley, $233 Stop Ashley Wow they like to push the boundaries

And infer cargo You're up to all sorts of adventurous stuff there 23 is my lucky number So I said if we got to 230 I would stop And I was happy if it went off Like it was just a gamble Well done

I think that's the most we've given away. Should we see where you would have got, how much you would have stopped? $265. $292. $320. I'm happy. Unfortunately, all that petrol just sprays all over the forecourt

and it's a huge fire hazard now but the 233 is in your tank Ashley and it's going to be put to great use travelling to and from Dunedin feel better soon good luck with the IVF too mate another chance to play today

with Brad and Laura at 5.20 and you can win a gas gold gift card loaded with $400. All you have to do is buy fuel from gas petrol service stations and you're in the draw every month for the rest of the year. Jono and Ben, just like family. The family members you're ashamed of. Jono and Ben on The Hits. The Hits, Jono and Ben.

It's our day for us here at The Hits, but also an exciting day as well for producer Juliet. Your last day after two years in your radio dads, Jono and I, we're going to miss you. We're gutted to lose you. You're an amazing person and amazing at your job and it really has been amazing working with you over the last couple of years, Julie.

Thank you. I have a few things that I would like to say. Is that okay? We're out of time, unfortunately. Is this like the Mean Girls Burn book? You've got a whole lot of stuff. Hold on. Can you email it through first before we let you read

this on here? This is not an expose on Jono and Ben what they're really like, is it? You never want to start to think, I've got a few things I'd like to say. Get ready. I've absolutely a few things I'd like to say. Oh God, here we go. Get ready. So I've absolutely loved working with you guys. For people listening, you may not know, or maybe you do,

there are some big egos in this industry. And when you're on the radio or on TV all the time, it can get easy to get a big head. By the way, I've written this down so I can articulate it well. I remember when I first found out I'd be working with you two and everyone i spoke to who knew you said that you were the nicest and most humble people in the industry and i was so stoked to find this out and now that i've worked with you for the last two years i can wholeheartedly

agree it's easy to be intimidated by people in this industry but i've never been intimidated by you guys because you've been nothing but kind courteous and you've always treated me and the wider team as equal and i'll always be so grateful that. It has also been so great to get to know you guys personally and become frollegs, as Jono said yesterday, friends and colleagues. Ben, I'll always remember your love for Disney, children's products, and figurines, and all the wine-related stories about how you want to take home half-finished bottles of wine from friends' houses. I'll always remember your exceptional organisational skills and your kindness to the point where you'd never hurt a fly.

Jono, I'll always remember your erratic driving stories, and thank God I never got to witness said erratic driving. I'll remember the time 3.40am vividly, and if I ever wake up at that time, I'll think, oh yep, Jono's probably going for a run right now. I'll always remember your quick wit and your consideration for others, especially when you'll walk much further than necessary to open the door for someone.

And Bee Humps, producer Bee Humps, I'll always remember your antics after a few drinks where you demonstrate by using a chair on how to share a sheep or how high you can swing your leg over a stool, often resulting in broken stools or broken glasses. I'll always remember your drive and efficiency at doing things, and this show would not be able to do many of the things it can without you here. Anyway, I want to say a huge thank you to you all

and also to the listeners for creating an environment where laughing every day and having a good time is encouraged. I will miss it dearly. Oh, I do. I don't know if a symptom of COVID is encouraged. I will miss it dearly. I don't know if a symptom of COVID is crying. I made it through without crying, guys. I'm crying.

It's not meant to be about us, too. It's actually been honestly phenomenal, and I feel so lucky that I've been able to work with you guys. We feel lucky as well. You're just amazing, and we can't wait to see what you're going to do. Remember us when you're working on some big international show. I will.

You truly are. You're a really smart operator, Ju. And can I finish the final chapter of the poem? Yes. That we've been reading out all morning. It started off with, Juliet, you're so very kind, even though you go to R&V, get out of your mind. You managed to dodge our COVID high temps and fever,

and also miraculously dodge a restraining order from Justin Bieber. Juliet, you say things like lit and that's Gucci. When we say those things, we sound like dicks and douchey. Remember when you went bush and said you would ditch your phone? Now you spend nine hours a day on Instagram alone. Now you're off to work on billionaires' boats. And in this chapter, as they say, that's all she wrote.

It's with big lumps in our throats that we say we'll miss you loads. Oh, that's so nice. Thank you. Thank you, Jude. Producer Aaron has had me put together some of our favourite bits with Juliet. This is an uplifting

tribute to our mate bits with Juliet. excited about something. Some people call me Julie Yee. With a wonderful upbringing. Mum's like, bro, I would sell this to you. Is your mum a surfer? But easily upset. Who's Prince Louis? Oh my goodness. Sometimes messing up. Whoops, wrong one. Sorry guys. What are we doing? And sometimes up

to no good. Light it up, get lit. We did on Friday night. Got lit. And upstart. I look like one of. On Friday night. Thanks, Dad. Got lit. And upstart. I look like one of those weird hairless cats. A naked mole rat? A what? A naked mole rat.

That's more you. Putting up with uppity old men. We must be geriatric. Okay, Grandpa. Now she's up and off. On a boat in the Mediterranean as you look out into the horizon, you just remember what you're missing back here, here. Producer Juliet from every one of the hits. Haere rā, au revoir, and follow us on Insta or MySpace for Jono and Ben.

Two semi-competent dads handing out semi-competent parenting advice. Jono and Ben on the hits. Both of us broadcasting from home with COVID. How are you doing, Jono, in all honesty? In all honesty? Do you think I've been lying to you this whole time that I've had COVID? No, no. How's your chance?

It's April Fool's, mate. How's your chance to reveal? You know what? I just wanted a few cheeky days at home in a room by myself, away from life and my family, just to be alone with my dark thoughts. No, I feel like I've plateaued because I'm two days behind you i'm pinning my covert on you i feel like i caught it off you and you're squarely pinning the blame on our producer bee hunts so that's the that's the train of of transmission of of whatever they call i don't know what they call it but everyone feels guilty like i feel

guilty he feels guilty and you'll feel guilty when someone else pins the blame on you. Yeah, that's the first symptom of COVID is guilt. But, you know, I feel like a plateau. I'm two days behind where you're at. You felt like you could have gone back to work yesterday. Are you still wanting to? Yeah, I think so. I feel like I'm through the other side. But, you know, still tired, though.

That's probably the thing, eh? Every time you're like, I'm good, I'm good to go, and then you're like, ooh, maybe I'm not quite as good as I think I am. Yeah, yeah. I just, yeah. Case in point right there. There you go. Something I have got used to doing, though,

is walking around with a mask on. Like I'm trying to obviously keep away from the family as much as possible. Have your family got it? Have the girls got it? No, no one's got it so far, which has been, you know, hopefully touch wood that continues. You have a theory, don't you? Well, no, just within our group

of, you know, like in the radio show in particular, producer Juliet hasn't got it, whereas you, me and producer Bee Humps got it. So, you know, the female out of the group haven't got it at home. The females are fine in my house and in your house as well. So, you know, maybe Omicron just, you know,

is liking the dudes at the moment. Maybe Omicron is designed to take out your white middle-aged man. It's gone. He's had it too good for too long. But something I've been used to, I don't know if you've been getting used to wearing a mask. I feel like a surgeon walking around with a mask on most of the time. But I've been making these sort of lemon and barley hot drinks,

you know, where you pour a bit of syrup into the bottom of a mug and then you pour some hot water on top. So they'd be sort of helping me get through the week. So I made one of these the other day and then went to my, my safe space to drink it. Totally forgot I was wearing a mask, started drinking it through the mask without taking them off,

which was a terrible thing to do because it creates quite a mess. And then I was like, oh, the taste is weird. And what I'd done is I'd put cooking oil into the bottom of and then put hot water, the lemon and barley sitting right next to the cooking oil. I guess they look similar. And yeah, I don't recommend that. You could not have screwed up that process

anymore if you tried. I know. Exactly. So I'm blaming it on the COVID, but yeah. But normally I'd probably do something like that. Your mask could be like a filtration system for the drink. I wonder if you could take your N95, because it is like a cup, and pour your liquid

into that and kind of drink out. It's like a jockstrap, isn't it? Maybe Tago students, instead of doing shoeies, will be doing 95ies or something. Breakfast with Jono and Ben. Jono and Ben on your Friday morning. Of course, it's April Fool's Day today. And, Jono, what I was thinking before is it probably takes away

from all the legitimate news. Like, just looking online this morning, there's headlines like second wave of Omicron could come in May. Oh, prank. Yeah, no. You know, Auckland house prices dropped for the first time in two years. Oh, yeah, good prank. Ardern on why it's not the right time for tax cuts.

Another prank, you know? These could be pranks. These might not be pranks. It's the Pinocchio effect, isn't it? Yeah. You're right. What can you believe can you believe Ben well you can probably believe that all that stuff you read is legitimate it's actually true yeah but there is a few ones

I've seen a few and it's not far be it for us to call out whether things are a prank or not but there's a few things popping up you're like oh this may not be quite what it seems this morning so have a look out make sure you're looking out before midday this morning Juliet thank you wonderful Tania the hits radio station you're looking out before midday this morning. Juliette, thank you. Wonderful tenure at the Hits radio station.

You're off now on your OE and we're going to miss you like a little sister. This is my last break on OE. It's so sad that we're not all together because of course we've got COVID. You're probably not thinking it's that sad because we've got COVID. But at the same time, it's really sad not to be there for your last show and have the last show with you.

I know. I also did want to say that I forgot to mention in my last break, and I do genuinely mean it. No, mate, it's not your Academy Awards, mate. You're not bloody Will Smith, mate. I did want to say I actually genuinely hope this isn't the last time I get to work with you as well because I think I've really enjoyed working with you, and it would be sad if I never got to do it again.

We hope so too. We're going to miss you like a little sister but one who we hold no responsibility for because we don't share bloodlines. You've done a fantastic job Juliet. Best of luck travelling through France, Europe and doing all of your while. Well, God knows what you're going to get up to over there.

I'll have some great stories. Have a great trip. We're going to miss you heaps. Don't forget on Monday when Juliet's not with us, Hyundai Monday, every caller wins $100 thanks to Employment Hero. So that's going to be awesome on Monday. $100 to every caller that gets on the airwaves. That's pretty sweet.

Every caller. Yeah, every caller that gets on. Gee, that's wild. Yeah, join us from 6 o'clock Monday. In the meantime, you have a great weekend, Ben. In the meantime, you have fun in that room you locked in, and I'll do the same. Yeah, we'll see you Monday from six. Jono and Ben, brought to you by Resene, New Zealand's most trusted paint. Kiwi made since 1946.