Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: We Try Lindsay Lohan's Infamous Xmas Drink!

Episode Date: December 5, 2022

Today on the Jono and Ben podcast, we try Lindsay Lohan's viral drink See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This John O'Bead broadcast brought to you by Challenge Service Stations. Challenge Service Stations. That's just you putting on a voice. I want to make it sound official. I don't even get to finish it. Keep going, keep going then. Challenge Service Stations. For when you want to challenge the status quo of petroleum.

I don't know if that's... Challenge. Is that their line? Is that their line? I don't know if it is. But a wonderful challenge. They've come on board as a partner. I think they're challenged, proud to put the service back into service station. It's also when you want to challenge the status quo of petroleum. Yeah, well, it's just along the same lines, isn't it?

Do love going to a petrol station. They really are becoming the hub, aren't they? I was talking to someone in the petrol industry recently, Ben Boyce, and I think I mentioned to you that they're going to turn petrol stations basically into like mini supermarkets, post offices, you name it. It's a one-stop shop. That's the future of petrol stations. Right.

If they haven't already done that for the most part. Yeah, a lot of that stuff. Maybe not posting your letters and stuff. I can see that could happen. You know, talking about obviously the world's making a shift into EVs, but then the future of petrol stations when it comes to electric vehicles is they have technology now. You drive into the forecourt.

You plug one of the petrol station plugs into your car. It will charge your car back to full as quick, if not quicker, than it takes to fill your car up with petrol at the moment. Really? They've got that tech. That's what a petrol station is going to be. It's going to be a charging station essentially, but with all the other stuff going on. Do they have that right now?

Well, someone will have it somewhere. I thought it took like an hour and a half to charge the car. Who's got this technology? I love how he says this stuff. Instant charge. What is it? Charging a car. What is it? Petrol industry. Charging.

Yeah. Technology. Charge car. Faster or as fast as? As fast as. As fast as. It's like a minute and a half. Interesting.

Because you're using a lot of power. Car. Jeez. Okay. Everyone questions me. We did something on News Talk CB. So it says here that you can charge in 11 minutes with the self-lethal. Well, yeah, it's pretty slow pour if you're pouring your petrol in 11 minutes.

Okay. Will electric charging cars ever be as fast as pumping gas? Here we go. Here we go. Answer the question for me. Okay, will they? Producer Joel has called me into question again. Again, I mentioned on ZB that the police helicopter can zero in on people's heartbeats using technology.

Typically take 30 minutes. Sorry, I just kept... Okay, you keep reading. In five to 10 years, though, far faster charging may be possible. Not maybe, it's happening. It's happening, baby. They could replace in 20 minutes or less within reach, okay? 20 minutes or less is not quite right.

It's coming down. It's coming down. You just keep looking and the time will keep coming down. I don't know if you're right, John. That's like, bang. But that's not, maybe in the future. We should see that one, Wikipedia. No, can I ask you a question?

Yeah. Why would I make that up? Why would I come in here and make that fact up? New battery can be charged in five minutes. That's faster. That's coming down the line. Every article he clicks, we're losing a minute. There we go. They're charging five minutes.

Okay. China's produced this at the moment. First time in a factory. Yeah, so five minutes at the moment might be where they're ending. So that's pretty quick. That's pretty quick. That's going to. Thank you. So that's going to be your humble petrol station in 10 or 15 years.

Do you reckon a petrol station gift card could be like an acceptable Christmas gift? Yeah. Absolutely. Only from Challenge, though, obviously. Absolutely. That's a great gift. That's a great gift. Yeah, that actually is a really good gift.

Huge gift. Yeah. So yeah, that's what I thought was interesting. Four to eight years away yeah I've actually got a question I signed you guys up for the Secret Santa

the hits one as well you guys all sweet for that yes when is it it was supposed to be it's next Wednesday but I need to send the email out today

I'm going to get you a t-shirt if I do get you that just says no dramas that's all Joel ever says no dramas if I get Jonah

I'm going to get him some no-dos so I can stay awake what about if you got Matt Anderson our boss what would you get him just a card saying

world's greatest boss you know like a mug that could be a funny one a photo of you two world's greatest boss or a wig no I wouldn't

I wouldn't I don't need Batman Anderson if you get a wig it's not from me world's greatest boss yeah that. If you get a wig, it's not for me. World's greatest boss. Yeah, that's for me. With a wig.

Sometimes Secret Santa, though, can get kind of passive aggressive, can't it? People start to deliver their anger towards a staff member via the form of presence. So it's generous, but also cutting at the same time. You've got to be careful with your Secret Santas. All right, well, enjoy the podcast, and we're back in tomorrow. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Spilling the tea on Hollywood's A-listers. Kardashians.

I have met every single one. Exposing scandals. Because she's not a good person, but either is he. Digging the dirt. Is she a diva? Yes. And finding out what's going on behind the scenes. Yelling at cast members.

Yes. It was a script. No. His identity is a secret. But his stories have been proven right time and time again. This is NT. He's the one consistent thing of this shabby operation we do, Ben. He's been with us through thick and thin,

through Pete and Kim not making it, to Will Smith getting slap happy this year. We keep talking to him time and time again, as the intro says. NT, how are you in Hollywood, all right? I am great. I am great. Thank you very much for joining us again this week. It's been a wild week for Kanye West, and you can copy and paste that comment for every week,

but it seems like things are spiraling out of control and someone in his inner circle needs to step in. He doesn't have anybody in his inner circle, right? And that's part of the problem is that he doesn't, it's kind of like Elvis with the Memphis Mafia. You know, if somebody's just enabling you to do something because they want that paycheck to come, but he doesn't even have somebody

who is like an assistant who's there with him. He's just kind of just doing this all on his own. So there's just, and he's not married anymore. Last time that he actually had somebody reign him in, it was not like Kim Kardashian. It was not, you know, anybody like that. It was his trainer, Carly Pasternak, who, you know, called, Carly called his own doctor to have, you know, come take a look at Kanye. And it was that doctor that put him on a 5150 hold, which is our term for like involuntary, you know, psychiatric hold or whatever. He's traveling around America, touring around America. He's launched his presidential campaign for 2024. He asked Donald Trump to be his running mate. Trump sort of said, no, I'll do my own thing.

Thank you very much. And he's traveling around around with is it a white supremacist yeah he's traveling around with a guy named nick fuentes and but yeah this is a white supremacist and just a truly awful human being that nothing positive ever has come out of his mouth but at some point it's just like where does he go where is the bottom what kind of apology can you make i'm not i'm not sure how he ever recovers but then at the same time i know that r kelly gets like ten thousand dollars a month sent to him in prison from fans really really so yeah i mean it's almost like he's on a mission to self-sabotage for some reason but obviously there are mental health issues as well. He said he admired Hitler and everything.

Hitler did it just, you're right. I don't see any good coming out of this road he's traveling down. No, and I don't think I've ever told you guys this story, is that you know the story where he wanted to name one of his albums like Hitler. No. But, okay, so yeah, he wanted to, and he his albums like hitler and but okay so yeah he wanted to and he was talked out of naming like the album but at one point he wanted to name north the first child hitler and had to be like physically talked out of it by like kim kardashian and stuff oh so

you know this is not something that's new this is if it goes back to like before north was even born so it's not a new thing yeah it's just it's sad i don't know it's sad it's uh yeah because at a certain point you go is it controversy for art's sake and maybe it was until a certain point but now it feels like it's gone well beyond that yeah i think a controversy for art's sake is something like when he was hanging out with Julia Fox. Now what really looks bad, like shilling for Balenciaga. And that's something that's controversial. But what he's doing now, I think, is his past pushing the edge and is into something that I've just.

Was he going to wake up one day and realize, OK, well, I can't ever get out of this and then do something to himself? Or is he going to wake up one day and say, I just need to apologize and maybe I can make a new start? Christmas is not too far away as we keep banging on about it as the 6th of December. And it's this time you start thinking about what you want to get people for presents. Some particular people are tricky to buy for, so we thought we'd be Santa's little helpers each day this week on the hits. Yeah, we spoke to the kids yesterday.

What are the youth, the future of the world, what do they want? Jake phoned through. I'd really like a dirt bike as well as a mountain bike in here. Oh, a mountain bike and a dirt bike? Wow. Could you scale it down maybe? Hey, we're not buying for them. Oh, mountain bike and a dirt bike? Wow. Could you scale it down maybe?

Hey, we're not buying from them. We're not buying. Also Crocs came through. Yeah, quite popular the Crocs, weren't they? A lot of times. The slides, which are like the scuffs. They're called slides now. My kids keep telling me they're not called scuffs anymore.

They're slides. You know, the shoes that they wear. Yeah, and the Crocs as well. Very popular. Yeah. So we ticked off the kids. All right, they shoes that they wear. Yeah, so there's, and the Crocs as well, very popular. Yeah, so we ticked off the kids, all right? They're sort of done. On to the light dusting of the kids. Yeah, well, Crocs is a good option, it seems.

Not all kids will want Crocs, but we're getting out there publicly and saying, get some Crocs and or motocross bikes or a set of kitchen knives as well. Also great for the children this Christmas. Today, the mums. Yeah. They can be very difficult to buy for.

You know, what are you going to get Jenny Boyce, for example? Oh, she'll just be one of those. Just like a card and just a seat. You know, she's one of those people. I'm like, yeah, well, I've got to get you something. But it won't give me any suggestions. So tricky. Because you could just turn up and go, well, your wish was to see me.

Here I am. Your present standing in the flesh. But we asked our wives, who are also mums, Ben, what they wanted for Christmas. This was Jen, my wife, last night. You don't want what? I don't want anything. For Christmas? Yeah.

Nothing. You say nothing every year. I don't want everything. And then I get you something every year. Yeah. So what if I got you nothing this year? That'd be fine. Nothing? I don't want everything. And then I get you something every year. Yeah. So what if I got you nothing this year? That'd be fine. Nothing?

I don't need anything. Well, you do have the husband who gives you everything. You can get me an orchid. I like orchids. Were you urinating during that? I'm a multitasker. It sounded like something was going on. I was like, did you take it?

I was like, but time's money, mate. Listen, I held my phone out in one hand and then in the other hand. It was a little flow from you. It was a little trickle, but that's good for you. I have to will it out. Come on. Come on, the old Prozzie flaring up again. But yeah, that's what Jen wants. She just wants me to steal an orchid from someone's garden.

Yeah, but I've done this before when my wife has said we're not getting anything and then I've got nothing and then she comes to the party with a present. Because you listen to people. Yeah, I listen. This is listening. That's the key.

Now, did you ask Amanda? Yeah, well, she's actually away on school camp so I couldn't ask her last night what she wanted. Oh, because I asked her for you. Oh, really? Maybe I'm a better husband. Okay. her last night what she wanted. Oh, because I asked her for you. Oh, really? Maybe I'm a better husband. Okay. And this is what she, now I think this might be harking back to a present previously given.

Oh, I don't know if it's Amanda. It's surely not. Oh, hey, Jono and Ben. I heard you're looking for good ideas for mothers for Christmas coming up. I suggest a fry pan because it goes down so well. Okay, yeah, that's because... Remember that time you got your wife a fry pan?

You buy one fry pan and everyone, you know, it was amongst other presents. It was what? Anyway, I'm not going to explain it. Then you back it up with an apron? No. Spatula?

No. Anyway, okay. So these are not great suggestions. Nothing or a fry pan, not great suggestions. No, so this is what we need great suggestions. Nothing or a fry pan, not great suggestions. No. So this is what we need help with. This is why we've designed

this part of the show. 0800 The Hits. Are you a mother? Come clean. What do you want? What on earth do you want from us? Yeah. This Christmas you can text 24487

and I tell you what, we will give you, whether you want it or not, as a free ham thanks to Farmland Foods. The Hits. The Jono and Ben Podcast. We're looking for the perfect gift for mums for Christmas not too far away. Yes, Santa's little helpers.

That's what we're doing every day this week, just zeroing in on one member of the whanau. And today it's the mums. I love Annie and John, my parents. They're present-giving relationship. That's what happens when you've been married for so many years is now Annie goes out, buys her own present, wraps it up, hands it to John, he

throws it, it's like pass the parcel, he hands it straight back, she opens it and goes, oh well, thank you so much. That's great, I like that because it's less that she's getting what she wants. It's convenience isn't it? Because it saves on time, he's wandering around going do I get another Cadbury box of roses this year? It's all done

for him, admin's done for him. And then she also gives his present to him, which he hasn't. He's to put no part in. And Bob's your uncle. Let's get Amber on from Hamilton. Welcome to New Zealand's breakfast. Good morning. Can be very stressful buying for mums.

Hard to buy for. There's a wide variety of mums out there. What are they wanting this Christmas, Ambo? Well, I did hear a mention of a fry pan. I mean, I wouldn't be opposed to it. You know, heavy bottom fry pan's always good. It was a quality fry pan. There was nothing wrong with a fry pan.

But what we have since learnt, that kitchen utensils are more of just a buy for the household item, not so much a gift at Christmas. No matter how expensive the fry pan was, you're right. And amongst other presents, that's all we focus on. But anyway, Amber, what would you like? household item, not so much a gift at Christmas. No matter how expensive the fry pan was, you're right. And amongst other presents, that's all we focus on. But anyway, Amber, what would you like? Well, if Santa's going to be good to me this year,

I'd really fancy a new pair of R.M. William boots. Oh, you sound like producer Humphrey's dream wife. Although I don't know that my 17-month-old will be able to afford them. Okay, so you're wanting RM Williams boots. What are we looking at? They sound expensive. What are we? They start about $7.40, I think. $7.45.

I imagine the quality is exquisite. They'll last you a lifetime. Yeah. They'll last you a lifetime. Well, that's what you keep telling yourself. So does that fry pan. It lasts a lifetime. That's right.

We're not hearing about the benefits of that, are we? We're going to get you a ham, thanks to Farmland Foods. So you enjoy that on Christmas Day. Thanks, guys. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas to you, too. You could wear the ham as a pair of shoes. Yeah, why not?

They're a lot cheaper than the Aaron Williams. Good on you, Amber. Appreciate it. We'll go to West Auckland. Andrea, you're on. What are the mums wanting for Christmas, Andrea? Well, I would actually love to go to Waiheke and do one of those beautiful wine tours.

With or without the family? I've never done one before, so yeah, I think it would be awesome. Is this just solo, or are you taking the family with you? Oh no, just my husband. No, the five kids can stay here. Five kids? You're running a busy operation, aren't you?

Well, they're adults, you know, so they can do their own thing. Yeah, they can get it from me. Okay, Waiheke wine tour. their own thing. Yeah, right. They can get it from me. Yeah. Okay, Waiheke Wine Tour. That sounds lovely. Did you have a ham on that list of things you wanted this Christmas? I did, actually. Oh, there you go.

Thanks to Farmland Foods, we will be bearing the gift of ham, Andrea. Perfect. Thank you so much. And we've got a wonderful ham-based song to you for you to enjoy right now if you'd like to listen to that too, Andrea. Let's go to Kirsty in Taranaki quickly.

What are the mums wanting this Christmas, Kirsty? I want perfume. Any particular fragrance? Yeah, opium. Okay. She's not messing around. I want perfume. I want opium. Iium. Okay. All right. She's not messing around. I want perfume. I want opium.

Opium. All right. Yeah, okay. Kirstie, did you want ham? Oh, definitely. I'll hook you up with that as well. Is this a targeted message to anyone in particular? Like, are we going to name the show?

Your children. Okay. Let's name the children so they know who we're talking to. Dion, John, Talia, and Trent. Okay. The problem is you're going to get about seven bottles of opium now. That's all right. It'll take a while.

She'll be smelling like an opium den. Thank you very much, Kirsty. Appreciate it. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Christmas, you know, just around the corner, and there's a lot of Christmas ads out there. And I saw an ad for Pepsi pop up on instagram the other day and it's got lindsey lowen uh you know actor and she's it's she's pouring an unusual drink now she starts by pouring pepsi and then she puts milk in over the

top this is so it's pepsi and milk over some ice in a glass and have a listen to the ad. It's a little naughty sounding. Nice. Ooh, naughty. Pepsi and milk. Pilk. Mmm, that is one dirty soda. How did she make that sound filthy? Pepsi and milk, the most grotesque combination of all time.

She's having milk and cookies. So we've got some Pepsi in the studio right now. Good to hear Lindsay Lohan's name again. She's still kicking around. You know, it takes a Pepsi commercial. It's like us with our Heartland chips. People go, oh, they're still there on product. So Ben, you've brought Pepsi into the studio and two litres of milk

to give this a go. Wouldn't it just be like creaming soda? Yeah, a little bit like the spider you used to have back in the day, right? Yeah. Yeah, it's the Pilk and Cookies Challenge. It sounds like an absolute nightmare for my digestive system, to be honest, milk and fizzy soda.

I'm still working through 41 sausages that we dealt with a fortnight ago. So I'm adding this on top of a base level of sausage meat. I'll put the Pepsi in right now Now I'm about to put the milk in This is what it's like when you make your drink on the radio A lot of time

We probably could have done this before That's a lot of milk Is that too much milk? It looks like cookies and cream and colour Let's have a taste here That's one dirty drink Is that what she's saying? Oh yeah oh yeah

it's actually okay it's not yeah you're right it's definitely got that spider vibe you used to have back in the day

Cobb and Co you'd have stuff a little bit of ice a little bit of drink yeah I can see what they're doing there do you want to enjoy an adequate drink

yeah that's what the segment was you know radio has changed a lot over the years, isn't it? Oh, yeah, back in the day. We'd be like putting live scorpions in our mouth. I'd be pouring that whole bottle of Pepsi into an orifice of yours and seeing what happened. But now we're having a nice drink.

It's actually quite nice. It's actually... Yeah, that's all right. That's okay. I didn't know what to expect, but it was actually quite nice. So there you go. Did you expect a kind of a lackluster fade out of us

just enjoying a tasty drink? No. No, otherwise we wouldn't have brought that to the radio show, but that's what it was. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Tonight, TV3, Patrick Gower on all the drugs. It's tonight at 8.40. He's gone off the booze and now he's on all the drugs

Paddy Gower Nice to have you in the studio Yeah good to be here and I'm not on anything right now Can I just say these Paddy Gower On documentaries That you do has it just been a very Complex way for you to Tackle all the vices that you've wanted to tackle

Throughout life Yeah sort of a convoluted way of Doing all the drugs Yeah because you've wanted to tackle throughout life. Yeah, sort of a convoluted way of doing all the drugs. Yeah. Yeah, because I did actually get to do weed, of course, in the first one. We went to the States. You got a taste for it. Yeah, I got a taste for it.

Loved it. Couldn't get enough of it. Well, I guess, and then when I did the one on alcohol, I actually ended up giving up drinking. You still haven't touched the drop? Yeah, and I haven't touched the drop, and I'm coming up on December the 18th, so this month will be one year.

Do you find if you go catch up with someone lucky over a social setting in a Christmas function, there's more eyes on you now going, is he, is that, what's he, what's he? Yeah, and it's interesting because I had a 0% beer in the pub the other day, and I could see people probably like, is he back on it? Yeah, the thing is you've gone public with it. So if you do get back on it, it's going to be closed door drinking. Shame drinking. That's right. We thought that, it's going to be closed-door drinking. Shame drinking.

That's right. We thought that's why you were in the UK for so long. Just recently you're like, oh, Paddy's gone over there to go to the pubs. Yeah, to get away from and go to the pubs. But, yeah, it is, you know, you do notice a few eyes on you and whatnot. And I think I honestly feel fantastic being there. It's been a really, really good thing for me to do. So this one, this new documentary that's out patagawa on all

the drugs so obviously you've looked at pee before and and weed as well so is this everything else or is this everything in general yeah it covers mdma started a student flat where a whole lot of um students take quite a lot of mdma around me and that leads to quite a lot of hugging yeah right it's a lot of face rubbing i imagine of your face sort of this gigantic group hug where these guys are pretty loved up and give me a massive hug so we look at mdma and and mushrooms mainly and in general our laws you know like our laws are pretty screwed up right now mdma is a class b drug it's it's it's highly illegal but we've got a law that allows you to test an illegal drug to make sure that you actually get the illegal drug and that is pretty screwed up in my mind i mean people want to be safe they want to know that they're

taking mdma and not bath salts or cat poison or or whatever to me that sort of throws up a massive irony of like well what's going on if we've got this law that makes it legal to test them but they're illegal have we got our laws right? Yeah. And that's where the documentary goes. I mean, we know in this country that MDMA use is really, really widespread now. Festival season is coming. It's going to be huge.

I'm on it now. So it gets me up in the morning. Well, we did start with a hike in here. We did, actually. I thought that was just the way we all did, but I didn't realise. And I guess that's the thinking behind the testing at the festivals is it's, but it's kind of hands up sort of like they're going to do it anyway. So let's try and make them do it safely.

Yes. And that's, you know, and that's one of the questions the documentary throws up is should we sort of be hands up as a society and say, Hey, this war on drugs, saying drugs are bad doesn't actually work. We know that we've tried it for 30, 40, nearly 50 years. It hasn't worked. So should we be doing it another way? Because if we look at mushrooms, and people will see in my documentary, some people have amazing effects for their mental health by using mushrooms. But we've kept that illegal. We haven't done any studies on it. We don't know much about it. We kind of just think it's for hippies.

It's a tough one, isn't it? Because because then you're dead right there are benefits for people who are sick who are ill but i guess on the other side of the coin and if we're parents yeah yeah and you've got kids growing up the teenage years do you like it makes me nervous yeah it does it's one of the hard things for me too john it's like okay it is easy and i think that's why the war on drugs has been easy because you just say to your kids do not do drugs do not do them you'll go to jail you'll die just they are wrong but it's a lot more complicated than that eh it is you know and that and that's and that's not the and that's not the reality out there how would you suggest parents tackle the conversation that is the hardest question of this whole thing because you know it is easy under that sort of war on drugs mentality to just go drugs are bad, drugs are wrong, don't do them,

you'll go to jail or you'll die. And I think the first thing really is get your drugs tested. It's legal to do that in this country now. There's ways to do it. You can actually get your own testing kits. People will see that and make sure you're safe and not taking some sort of what could literally be some kind of poison. And I guess a natural reaction for any parent would be probably anger.

If you found out your kid was taking drugs, you might come down on them when maybe it's more of an educational conversation that needs to happen. Yeah, and this is going to take a huge shift for New Zealand, isn't it? Like, you know, what we're talking about here is pretty complicated. That's what we do on the show. The big issues. The big issues, Paddy. That what we do on the show that's why i came here and i knew we'd be having a discussion like this we're gonna get to syria and all sorts soon but

patty uh bloody good to see you mate you're one of the good buggers glad to see everything's going well you're all fit and healthy oh Oh, man, I'm fantastic. And giving up drinking, honestly, the last time I was in here or whenever, I never really thought that I would be sober going into it. This will be my second Christmas sober. Such a massive change. And for anyone out there who's listening, thinking about doing it, I've got no problem with people drinking or anything like that.

All my mates do and everything. But if you want to give it a go, just give it a crack. It's been one of the best things I've ever done, and I've done a lot. Yeah. Well, good on you, Paddy Gower. Thank you for coming in. Awesome.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Let's go. Jono and Ben with five words for 5K. Stop any time to keep the cash. Thank you. Or play on to win more. It's a game of word association. It's a lot of fun to play.

We play it every morning at this time on The Hits. We tell you five words, you tell us what bops into your head, and you decide how far you want to go to take the money. Let's get some youth on the show. Youthful exuberance from Lauren. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Hi. Good to have you on, Lozza.

Your Christmases, they've come early or late, if you're still factoring in last year's Christmas, but you could be winning five grand. Have you got an ideal dollar value that you'd like to walk away with? I'd be happy with any amount, but I'll go for the $5,000. Okay, you got to go. Sensible players recently. A $50 winner yesterday, which I thought was quite smart

because word three was one that I didn't think you were going to get and they played it well. Yeah, now you need to decide, Lauren, at age 13, who you're going to sentence to some soft time in the soundproof booth, mate. I think I'm going to send Jono. Alrighty. Popular choice at the moment, Jono

Pryor, yeah. Can you ask Lauren what a 13 year old's going to do with $5,000? What would you do? I'd probably use it to travel around the world with my family to go and see my grandparents or other families. I'll tell him when he gets back out of the soundproof booth. He can't hear me right now, but that sounds like an awesome thing. So let's try and win you the

money. Let's go with the words this morning. Mariah is the first word. Mariah? Carrie. Yeah, Carrie. There's probably no other option, particularly around Christmas time. Mice. M-I-C-E. Mice.

Mice. Could I go back to that? Yeah, and come back to mice. Sting is word number three. Sting? Sting. Yeah, sting. Bee.

Bee sting. Wind is word number four. Wind. It's tough. It's tough, tough, isn't it? Lots of options going through your head. What do you want to lock in for wind? Can I come back to that one? You can come back to that one.

And movie is the last one. Movie. Theatre. Theatre. Okay, let's go back to mice. Not that you've had any time to think about it. Blind. Blind mice.

That's a good option. All right. And wind. Okay, wind. Blow. Blow. Okay. All right, we'll get Jono out of the soundproof booth right now. Okay, wind. Blow. Blow, okay. All right, we'll get Jono out of the soundproof booth right now. He's back, he's walking around.

She'd gone on a family holiday, like a world trip to see some family overseas. That's what she'd do with the money. Oh, what a great thing by yourself, would you, Lauren? With my dad and my brother and my mum. Oh, what a lovely thing to do, contributing to the family. That took ages. What was going on? I thought, am I living in this booth for the rest of my life? All right, there's some tricky ones, as you'll thing to do, contributing to the family. That took ages. What was going on?

I thought, am I living in this booth for the rest of my life? There's some tricky ones, as you'll get to right now. It's all very, you know, you just wait until you get to the words, okay? Lauren. Yeah. Let's win you that family trip, shall we? Word one, $25. Here's the $25 words.

Mariah. Kerry. Yeah, well done. There we go. Do you want to go to $50? Yes Mariah. Kerry. Yeah, well done. Here we go. Do you want to go to $50? Yes, please. Risk it all. Let's go.

Word two, $50. Mice. Mice. When I think of mice, I think of the blind mice. Blind. Yay! I'm glad you're thinking along the same lines as Lauren because that was tricky

Okay, you got $50 Yeah, that was a tricky one Do you want to jump up to $100? Yes, please Okay Word three, $100 Word number three this morning What pops into your head, Jono, when I say sting?

I'd say bee sting Oh, Lauren Oh, Lauren, $100. Okay, now your decision is, do you want to take the $100 or do you want to risk it all for $500? I'll take it, please. You're going to take the money? Yes.

She's walking away. There you go, $100. It's all yours. Well played, Loz. Thank you so much. There you go. What would have happened if we advanced through? Let's have a go.

What was the next word? The next word was wind. I would have said wind tunnel. Oh, there you go. You played a good game. And the final word was movie. Movie star. Movie theatre.

So well done, Lauren. $100 to get into your Christmas with. Thank you so much. Good on you, Lauren. What do you want to say to your heroes? Just don't. Keep going. No idea.

Let her talk. Let her talk. The people need to hear what she wants to say. What do you want to say to your heroes? For her heroes. Us.

We are. The Hits. The Jono and Ben Podcast. Now, I had to go to the bank yesterday. My credit card had a wonderful weekend without me. Oh, you were saying

someone got the... But you had your card. Yeah, that was the unusual thing because I went to use my credit card had a wonderful weekend without me oh you were saying someone got the but you had your card yeah that was the unusual thing because I went to use my credit card over the weekend and it declined

which you know isn't an unusual thing it runs on a tight line but then I I sort of went on to the online banking and I was like oh that's unusual

and then there'd been some massive purchases made but I had the credit card so someone obviously whether you've been maybe you on the dark web sold it or something like that, sold my numbers I do like to sell all your personal details

on the dark web, the other trick I wondered with, you know this might be labelled fraud, I don't know could you go and have a big spending spree and then come home and go oh some rat bag took my, cameras and all sorts of stuff, but put on a moustache.

This is put online and online spending. It always annoys me because these people have spent up large on my card. They've had a great time, but I haven't spent up large. Where did they spend up? They went to the warehouse. There was a whole lot of stuff. Did the Christmas shopping? They did a whole lot.

So now they're working. The bank's working on getting the money back and the fraud and stuff like that. So I had to go into the bank yesterday and sort of work through some things with them. And I was standing there watching the big screen in the ANZ Bank and they had, have you seen that ad? It's got the guy, the family and the dad's a big fan. They're all big fans of cricket.

He's originally from India. He wants his son to play cricket for India. And his son was like, I want to play for the Black Caps and he won't support the Black Caps. And at the end of the ad, there's a beautiful moment when the son makes the team. He makes the Black Caps team. I couldn't figure out if that was actually, is he a Black Cap? No, he's not a Black Cap.

He's an actor playing a Black Cap. And he turns around and the dad, if not, it's a documentary. So I think it's a documentary. But he turns around and his dad is wearing a Black Caps top. But he'd been wearing an Indian top. And it's like, it suits your dad. And it's a documentary. But he turns around and his dad is wearing a black caps top. But he'd been wearing an Indian top. And it's like, it suits your dad. And it's a lovely moment. I was watching that in the bank.

I don't know what it was, but I started welling up. I don't know if it was the fact that I'd lost a whole lot of money through fraud or what. But I was like waiting in line, watching that screen. I was like, oh my God, this is getting me quite emotional. Starting to wipe my eyes just perfectly as the person for the bank came up and going going are you okay and you're

like yeah I've just seen the interest rates well yeah there's a lot of things to cry over at the bank at the moment I don't know for the end I mean

I love my cricket but I don't know if that's the that's the thing to cry over but it's an embarrassing in that situation but listen not as embarrassing as when

I took you to the fertility donor clinic and you started crying. I was like, not here, mate. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. We've got some wonderful people in the studio. Ben Humphrey next door. Producer Behumps is looking after some people who won a school auction.

You know how they do the auction nights? I know you've been a part of some of those. And if you've ever wondered what those poor people have to do, well, they have to come into radio stations. So Vince, Ava and Mila, hello, good morning. They're next door. Producer B-Hump's telling you about all the – what are you telling them about it there, mate?

What it's like working for you. What it's like working for us, apparently, he's saying in our ears right now. He's been talking for a long time this way. I even saw him hold up a phone and go, well, this is a phone. And what I do is I put it to my ear and uh people phone it uh well speaking of which i had a shocker absolute shocker yesterday with my cell phone and it's always hard to navigate your way through a phone call in blustery conditions you know the wind and it's annoying for the person on the other end of the phone too yeah because always get out

of the window yeah so i call because when dial, I just go on most recent. You know, you go to the call log, and I go most recent, so you're on there regularly. I find it just easier than looking through the contact list. And so then I go on most recent, and I'd hit what I thought was I was calling my wife, Jennifer. And thanks to that, I could hear, hello. And I was like, hey, doll.

How you going, babe? And she went, yeah, no, good, good, good, good, yeah. What shall I get for dinner, sweetheart, I'm saying. And I can hear sort of a little bit of hesitation on the end. And I'm thinking, why would we eat dinner every night? Why would this be unusual? And slowly over the course of about probably 60 seconds of using doll, babe, honey, darling.

You love the words like that. Yeah, all the patronising misogynistic words. Chuck them all into one conversation. Just call from the 1950s. Maybe that's why the phone line was a bit shaky. But then I realised there was a lady who was called earlier wanting to book us for an MC gig. Okay.

So there's a bit of explaining to do at the back end of that, and I don't think we'll be required on the 17th anymore. Did she let you know what she wanted for dinner or not? Yeah, I had a lovely meal with her. Hey, sweet cheeks, what do you want for dinner? But yeah, no, that was just some confused comms that went on there, and that's why we want to open up on 0800-THE-HITS-4487. Because, you know, the communication can get mixed up,

lost in translation. Texts, emails, calls. When you've sent the wrong message, maybe you've called someone accidentally. One of my favourite moments is from Amanda, my wife, her dad. He left this message on the end. It was a textbook message on the end of her phone. But which was a voicemail, not a text.

That's right, it was. It was a voicemail, and he got to the end of it, but then he was struggling with the new phone. Have a listen. You have a message received yesterday at 8.53 p.m. Hi, Princess. 22.3. Hope it's a good day for you.

Catch you later. What do I do now? What have you cut it off? I haven't done anything. No. Just stopped. I'm trying to ask you, did you end the call by hitting the red button?

I didn't hit anything. Right. Oh, yes. See, it switched off again. Oh, really? I love that. The exasperation at the end. What have you done?

I've done nothing. I've just stopped walking in the bar. No, I've done nothing. So that was a very confused comms. And I love the time. They do love giving the time at the top of a voicemail. Even though it says message received and such and such, my dad does that as well. It's got a 320.

It's like, just calling you now. It's like, well, I know what the time is. I know who it is it's called. So when were you the victim of some confused comms? 0800 the hits.

You can text 4487. Every caller that makes it to Air Windsor, free ham, thanks to Farmland Foods this week. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast.

Confused communications. Confused comms is what we want to know this morning. We've got Michelle joining us on New Zealand's Breakfast. How are you? I'm good, thanks. How are you?

We're doing well. We're talking Confused Comms, Confused Communication. You don't need me to mansplain comms to you, but I just did. Thank you. Whatever, thank you. And that's what us men want. We just want the appreciation when we do take our time to explain to you. Way too much time.

Thanks for, anyway. Anyway, what happened to you, mate? So I was standing in queue in Hawaii at customs and I received a text message to say it was an emergency alert and that a ballistic missile was on its way to Hawaii. Oh, jeez. And my phone was off at the time. I'll say that works.

Your phone was off and then automatically the message came through. And it came through. You know, like it does when we had those practice ones for tsunamis and that sort of thing. Civil defense ones, yeah. Yeah, it was like a government sent one. So yeah, a little bit scary at the time. So what do you do? Okay, so you hear that a ballistic missile is on the way.

Stop, drop and roll. What do you do? Well, the first thing was this isn't real. And I looked around me and I was looking to see if anyone else had received a text message. Technically, you're not supposed to look at your phone in the customs queue. And for anyone that's been through America, you'll know how strict they are. And they can be quite embarrassing if they tell you off. But anyway, I looked around and I asked a few people around me and they looked at their phone and a few of them received it.

And everyone's like, oh yeah, I've received that. I'm like, oh, should we be doing something? And no one really knew what to do. So I pushed to the side of the queue, which again, you get in trouble for, and found a customs officer. And I said, oh, can I just show you this text message that I've received? And he looked at it and he read it and he goes, okay, thanks. And I was like, okay, so what should we do? And he said, oh, just go back in queue. And I was like, okay, like still shocked, you know, just didn't know what to do.

So I got back in queue. And anyway, I'm just patiently waiting in queue, and I get to the front where I'm going through the passport control, and I said to the guy, look, I've just received this text. Everyone's received it. I've shown one customs guy, and, like, should we be doing something? And he was like, no, it's fine. And I was like, but, like, it's quite serious.

It's a ballistic missile. Ballistic. A ballistic missile, like, quite serious. Yeah. He goes, oh, you're in the safest place anyway. And, like, he was taking it. He thought it was funny. And I said, but, you know, like, should we be alerting somebody?

Look, if it was real, we'd know by now. And that's what he wouldn't give me anything else. And so the whole time, like, we're talking probably a good half an hour of me thinking, should I be saying goodbye to my loved ones like I can't remember I text someone in New Zealand I can't remember who it was either my other half or my mum just to say I'd received it and I you know I don't know what's going on and it wasn't until about half an hour 40 minutes later when a text came through to say it was a false alarm and basically all across Hawaii people had received it and someone had pressed the wrong button and sent out this text to everyone in Hawaii to say there

was a ballistic missile coming. Gary at the HQ. Gary, did you? Did you? Again, Gary. Did the entire population of Hawaii receive a text saying there's a ballistic missile on the way? Yes.

Oh, sloppy work. Gee whiz. So there was nothing to worry about. Although the whole time I'm thinking, you're running around, you're trying to convince people, you're talking to people, it's been half an hour. I'm like, the ballistic missile's probably been and gone. Yeah, you would think, right? Yeah.

Yeah. Well, that's a great story. And even better for you, Michelle. I want to hold your hand. Just to clarify, it. I want to hold your hand. Just to clarify, it says I want to hold your ham, not your hand. I don't want to make things weird. Yeah, you get a free ham, Michelle, thanks to Farmland Foods. So there you go.

Oh, wow. Just in time for Christmas. That's amazing. Thank you. Thank you for sharing your story with us. My pleasure. You have an awesome day. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. We're giving away hams to every caller.

It's ham madness this week thanks to Farmland Foods. Everyone who makes it onto air wins a ham. Who's sending out all these hams, Producer Behance? Is that falling into your category? Yeah. Poor guy. He's loved with so much administration, getting rid of 58 hams that we need to get to people.

Popular. It's one of the most popular things we've done. So thank you very much to Farmland Foods for the hams. Yeah, and also thank you too, because they came in and they gave us a ham as well for Christmas. Ben, you cooked your ham already. You couldn't stand it. You needed to get it done.

I had, and then Saturday night, then all three meals on Sunday, and then two yesterday, and that's, you know, everyone gave some away. We're done. We've had a wonderful couple of days of ham bonanza. And that happens to everyone. When you ham, you ham hard. Oh, you do.

And you enjoy it. You love it. Ham madness. But you're right. Eventually you get sick of having ham for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Oh, we've done it now. We've done it. It's been great.

It's been dinners. It's been sandwiches. It's been bacon and ham. It's been, you know, sorry, eggs and ham. It's been great. It's been dinners. It's been sandwiches. It's been bacon and ham. It's been, you know, sorry, eggs and ham. It's been great. Like Dr. Seuss. You name a meal you can have with ham, he's done it over the last three days.

Well, I took mine home yesterday. And where we park, we're in the middle of the city, of the Central Business District. And what I did notice is marching through town with a giant leg of ham is people start, you get side eyes. I don't know if they're judgy eyes or their eyes are wishing that they were carrying a ham through town. Maybe a bit of both, yeah. But it reminds me of when you push a supermarket trolley outside the 3K radius in the supermarket.

Yes, yeah. People start, I feel like there's judgment. Like walk it, like ham through a suburban street, yeah, I can take that. Ham ham out on a car even a ham for a walk is probably that's probably the unusual thing your ham from the the supermarket to your car is probably acceptable yeah but any further than that yeah you're right when you walk it it's like when you see little babies in the cbd you're like they don't they don't match it's like taking a ham for a walk through the center so that's my only word of warning is when we do give you a ham, make sure you're not taking it through town.

I've got one of my greatest moments at a Warriors game. I've regaled the story many, many times about getting a ham from, the only time I've been to a corporate box at the Warriors too. At the end of it, I stayed around so long, I was talking to the guy going, what are you going to do with that ham? And he said, you can take it home. So you put it in your bag, your ham bag. Yeah, well, like an actual backpack and took it home backpack and so then you pulled this ham out at home this is what the part that always confused

me what was the first react oh your wife's now vegetarian was this the reason you came home with this manky old carved up ham look what i bought home from the warriors out of a backpack out of a backpack was it wrapped in anything oh Oh, mate. It might not be. Cut the top layer off. Like there's pencils and pens jabbed into it from the backpack? Yeah. So anyway, it's not quite the Farmland Foods ham on this occasion. Those are great hips.

Those are great. You wouldn't want to shove them in a backpack. That's for sure. The Hits. The Jono and Ben Podcast. Your chance to win a double pass to the ASB Classic. It's back. It's happening with the world's best tennis players in Auckland. Early January next year.

All the details at the hitstock.nz. All you need to do is get someone to say I love you within 30 seconds. It's 30 love. Stephanie,

you're going to call your mum. Yeah, got to call mum, dude. I think that's an... Well, Jono's mum, though, actually. I was going to say it was easy, but Jono's mum refuses

to say it publicly on the record to you. Right, Jono? Yeah, she does. Look, we can call her right... Should we call her right now and approve? Can you conference call Annie here, Producer Tom? Okay, here we go. And I'll approve to you.

And you wonder why she doesn't say I love you. Okay, here we are, Stephanie. We're going to call Annie Pryor. Firstly, she won't like the early morning before night call. Hello? I love you, Mum. Oh, thanks, Jay. You texted me earlier on, though.

I know. I know, but what would you say back? Because you never replied to that. So I thought maybe I'd call you. Did you text her to say I love you? Jesus, she's coming on desperate, isn't she, Annie? Did you come back with a text like, who's this? So I thought maybe I'd get one out of your mouth.

No, no, that's fine, Jay. I always like the written words. Okay, now what the bloody hell are you listening to in the background there, Annie? It's not the hit. Okay, love you, Annie. Take care. Bye. See you.

There you go. Let's hope your mum goes better, Stephanie you, Annie. Take care. Bye. See you. There you go. Let's hope your mum goes better, Stephanie. Here we go. Let's hope so. Christine's her name. Let's hope she even answers the phone. That's always a fear when you call your parents. Good morning, Christine speaking.

Hi, Mum, I love you. Hi. Mum, I love you. I love you. He got it on the second one, the second volley, if I can use a tennis term right now. It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. You've just won a double pass to the tennis.

Awesome. It was a game. Awesome. 30 love. It's a tennis. Anyway, we don't need to explain that. You're off to the ASB Classic. Go and have a wonderful day, Christine.

You can hang up and come to terms with what's just happened. Thank you. A lot to download, babes. All right. Thank you very much, Stephanie. Good on you. Thank you for listening. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

Now, just talking confused comms on 0800 The Hits. When the lines of, you know, technology and all this, sometimes you get muddled up at times. And Jess joins us on the show. What happened? So a couple of years ago when me and my husband were going through the mortgage process, I had a workmate who's renowned for taking your phone and doing like sexy selfies, like a montage.

Right. And I didn't realise that she had done that. So the last couple of things that I thought I was sending off all those important documents to the bank manager was actually a couple of sexy selfies of her. So not even of yourself. I'm sure the manager was... No, and sexy selfies of her. So not even of yourself. I'm sure the manager was... No, and that's the thing.

She's a beautiful, voluptuous girl, and I was just like, oh, my gosh, it's not me, it's not me. And the manager's like, well, that doesn't make it any better. No. They really want the mortgage, don't they? We're prepared to do anything for the mortgage. Did you get some good rates on the mortgage? We did, actually. Yeah, yeah. Works a treat. Did you get some good rates on the mortgage? We did, actually.

Yeah, yeah. Works a treat. Did you have to apologise to your friend as well? You're like, hey, some random bank manager who's got some pics of you in their inbox. Oh, when I told her what had happened, she just thought it was hilarious. Oh, that's so good.

We're going to hook you up with a ham for Christmas Day. Thanks to Farmland Foods. Oh, that's awesome. Thanks, guys. Good on you, Jess. Appreciate that. Rachel, you're on. Hi. Hi, how are you going? Oh, that's awesome. Thanks, guys. Good on you, Jess. Appreciate that. Rachel, you're on. Hi.

Hi. How are you going? Yeah, confused comms. What happened in your life? Well, my dad was in hospital, and my brother and I had been texting one another, and he was overseas, and I was keeping him up to date with what was going on and saying, you know, Dad's all good. Yep, he's fine.

And my brother had recently broken up with his girlfriend and then he accidentally texted me a text that he was supposed to be sending to her saying my dad was on death's door and, you know, he didn't know how he was going to cope and, yeah, it was all, you know, untrue. He was trying to get her back. Oh, and it's a good play, the old guilt, my dad's dying play. Yeah, yeah.

But anyway, it went to me, so he was a bit red-faced because I just kicked him back. He said, stop telling lies. Well, you're like, this is a smart play, but, you know, the basis of any good relationship is when you've guilted someone Into thinking someone's dying Yeah

Yeah No He was going there He was going there Did he end up with the girl? No No he didn't How's your dad?

He's fine Still alive That was a risky question Briar I was like Here we go 50-50 And it went the right way for once. Yeah, well done.

I was expecting the worst, to be honest, and I still asked the question. No thanks to my brother. No thanks to my brother, but he's still alive, yeah. We're going to give you a ham as well for Christmas Day, thanks to Farmland Foods. All good, thank you.