Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: We Were Joined By The Lux Deluxe AKA Chris Luxon!

Episode Date: February 10, 2022

National Party Leader Chris Luxon came in today and we tried to ensure Ben didn't get him mixed up with Jono! Jono also told a story about someone he knew who had a VERY MAJOR sewerage issue. Finally, Jono used to go around and tell everyone his dad was a spy, when really, he was part of the air force. Enjoy the poddy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits with the Jono and Ben Podcast. Welcome to the podcast. It's Friday the 11th of February. It's Jono and Ben here. Ben, getting a few messages from protesters on Facebook, eh? Oh, well, no, we are. I mean, people are very passionate about, you know, obviously they are because they're protesting what's going on. That's why Parliament, yeah, a lot of the, we had a few mentions of it this morning. And our big takeaway was a lot of messages at the protests, a lot of mixed messages.

You've got people protesting the vaccine, obviously. You've got anti-vaxxers, but then you have some vaccinated people there who are just anti-mandate. Then you've got some Trump supporters there, don't you? I think the big takeaway, though, is there's a lot of unhappy people out there, and that's sad. That's sad no matter what is going on. Yeah, and I mean, the good thing about having multiple protests

inside one protest is numbers. You get big numbers. Yeah, a lot of numbers, and they're not going away in a hurry. No, if it was just the one topic, you'd have far less people. If it was just vaccinated people or anti-mandate, yeah, you'd probably have a quarter of the audience. Yeah. But it is sad on all fronts, and obviously a lot of disruption in Wellington at the moment. You kind of see it overseas. It happens quite a bit.

And you're kind of like, well, New Zealand is, you know, you hope it doesn't happen like that in New Zealand, but it does. There's a lot of anger in the world, isn't there? And the pandemic has caused some good decisions to be made and some decisions that people would probably make differently if they had their time again. But no one knows what to do. New territory.

And how long it's going to go for, unfortunately, as well. Really unsettling time, isn't it? Yeah. A lot of anger in the nation. Yeah. Some people are angry. Are you angry? No, I think, but no, but I'm not.

I just, you know, everyone's over it. You're over it. One way or the other, everyone's over it. Even if you're trying to, like, stick to the rules, you're still over the whole, you know, you're over it. Tell you what, you are over Valentine's Day. You're not a Valentine's Day guy. No. Which is coming Monday. We're just having a huge. Tell you what, you are over Valentine's Day. You're not a Valentine's Day guy. No.

Which is coming Monday. We're just having a huge meeting about what can we do for Valentine's Day, and I'm like, are there any people who care about Valentine's Day commercial radio announcements? We've got to be talking about Valentine's Day. Yeah. Probably that and April Fool's. Probably the two days. The two days.

Everyone else is like, jeez, those are... No one else cares about it, but hey, we've got to do something for April Fool's. And Valentine's Day. Do you? We face a lot of weight and importance in this industry on those two days, don't we? Yeah, we do. It's a strange, it's a strange. It feels very, we're going to have a jam-packed Valentine's Day show, don't worry about that.

We do have a hundred bucks to every caller that gets on the air. For a guy who doesn't celebrate Valentine's Day, you're surely making a whole show out of it. Yeah, true. A lot of double standards. What is the last thing you bought on it? Have you ever bought anything on Valentine's Day? It's a commercialised day that you don't like to participate in. Yeah, well, we used to do, like, before we had kids,

we'd go out for dinner, but the night after. Oh, yeah, when the prices come back down. Well, no, it wasn't necessarily that. It was just to not be there and go, everyone's here for Valentine's Day. Here we are. I just feel like you're not, you know. You're not being told what to do.

He's not a sheeple. And that's why, after this recording of the podcast, Andrew, who's on a plane to Wellington. It's very commercial, though. It is. You know. Yeah.

It is. Yeah. But I guess in some ways, it is an opportunity to, you know, if you do celebrate it, you know, to tell the person you love you love them. You're right. You don't pigeonhole all of your romantic gestures into one day. So tell us all the romantic gestures you do outside of their day,

over a 12-month period. We've got to get into the podcast for this. I mean, there's just lots. And just enjoy the podcast, all right? Jono and Ben on the hits. Gee, was not a good start to Friday for J-Pro. That's me. Do you like my new name?

What is it? J-Pro. J-Pro? Yeah, like, you know. Pro? You know how I'd go. Guys, guys, don't start questioning it, but like sarcastically questioning it. You know, I'm with you, Juliet. I'm like, what?

Pro? Not a good start for you anyway, yeah. J-Bro. Firstly, because you gave yourself a nickname that didn't make sense. But I'd accidentally poured myself, without even knowing, a decaf coffee. Now, I'm in a rush. I've got to get out the door. There's no time to make another one.

Right. So I have to have a decaf coffee which is quite possibly the most disappointing drink a mouth can have inside it like i don't know who throughout the history of beverage consumption's gone you know what i could do with the bitter disgusting taste of coffee without the benefits of feeling like i'm on amphetamines you know it is a strange thing why would you go why why i kind of feel like it's like me at a party you want to be part of the club but you're not quite cool enough you know you're like hey guys hey you know it's like yeah yeah everyone's like all right yeah you can hang around but really you're not really put your taste buds through

all that trauma with no good result at the end yeah i was actually looking into a caffeine uh you know decaf that day so it's% of the caffeine has been removed from the beans. So they kind of make it like coffee, and then they take all the stuff out. That's so weird. It's like 0% beer. Well, hang on. When this first came out, you were like, why would you? What would you do?

I mocked it. They sent some to work. It was like TikTok. You were like, oh, why would you get on this? Publicly mocking. And then come six months later, you're like, this is a 0% beer. It's a really good idea. I'm surprised you think that.

And then TikTok's a really good idea. Why do you think 0% is a good idea nowadays? Or now, for you? Because you feel like you're part of the gang. I mean, it's that disgusting taste of beer without all the fun after effects. But wouldn't you want the fun after effects? Are you thinking you personally or just in general for people? Oh, you know, when I hit that sort of 12 beer mark, I need something to just calm, just

to level me down. So a couple of zeros kind of pulls you back to, no, but it is good. It is actually probably quite handy if you're at a party and you're driving. Oh, yeah. And you still feel like, hey, guys, how are you going? And like and everyone's like and you're kind of trying to hide the label you know you wrap it under it is a good idea like you say decaf though very very hated in the coffee world it is yeah i'm looking online there's all these sayings around decaf coffee that's been robbed of its dignity there's a time and place for decaf and that time is never and the place

is in the trash. There's all these things. What do you call a decaf cup of coffee? A depresso. You know, like, these are all things online. Espresso, depresso. I really hate it, you know. Yeah, well, I mean, just have a cup of tea.

You can still have a hot drink and still... A lot of shock going on in your system to not get any energy. Well, thank you very much. I don't know why I'm thanking you. It was wonderful. I said we were going to put our blood, sweat and tears into the best radio show ever and I don't think we have just yet. It's coming.

Next though, one of the Royal Family has got COVID for the second time. We'll tell you after Adele. Easy on me, it is the hits. Jono and Ben on the hits. Adele, as we said yesterday, she cleaned up at the Brit Awards this week. It is the hits, Jono and Ben. That's not like after the awards she had to do the vacuuming and...

Did a little bit of dusting and things like that. Adele, why are you there, mate? Didn't you pick up the popcorn that everyone's left? No, she actually won the awards. Scrolling through your feed. All right, get ready. He's about to pour a whole bunch of news over your cereal. Milk would have been more appropriate,

but this is what we'll do for the meantime. Ben Boyce. As I said before, one of the British royal family has got COVID for the second time, and that's Prince Charles. He's tested positive for COVID-19. He's self-isolating. By the sound of it, he's fully vaccinated

and boosted as well. But yeah, it's for the second time he's got it. So he's pulling out of social functions this week. Oh, I see why all those protesters are outside Parliament. Oh, jeez. That's getting really messy, that. It is getting messy. And I just, I want to just say something here, Ben Boyce.

The commitment of these people, next level. I mean, surely by now, day three, some of them are like, I haven't seen my family all week. You know, I would almost try and get arrested just so I didn't have to stand outside Parliament anymore. Yeah, well, they reckon they could drag on until next week. So you're right. It's a long time. Yeah.

And hey, they've got their right to protest. That's what the police have said. And the police, we also need to give it up for the police as well. They've had to send in extra enforcement as well. And, you know, they're not at home either. They probably don't want to be looking at crazy people not wearing masks all day. Standing outside Parliament just to see

if anyone makes a run for it. Does anyone know, it's a 4487, do you know anyone who's at the protest? The level of commitment is you know, they obviously firmly believe what they're standing for. Which is fair enough and you're allowed to have freedom of speech here in Aotearoa. Maybe we shouldn't, some of the stuff I say on the radio.

That's true. And this story, a very unusual story that's come out of the UK. So a man has been reunited with his false teeth after 11 years. Now, he was in Spain 11 years ago, and he was sort of on a mate's birthday party. Was he a Brit? A Brit, yeah. A Brit abroad in Spain.

Hello, good to see you. Just a menace. Started drinking, you know, around lunchtime, about 11 o'clock that night, hadn't anything to drink. It was his mate's 50th, and he had to be a bit sick as you do, and so he did it into a bin,

and lost his false teeth, but didn't realise at the time. And then 11 years later, it turned up in his letterbox. So someone in Madrid was siphoning through. Yeah, Spanish authorities tracked him down using his DNA on his dentures. And you found it in a landfill. Yeah, it was in his hat. Oh, someone will want these, we'll do some police work.

Shoes, that is thorough and completely redundant police work done there. Obviously, they haven't got protests to worry about for the police. Got any work you can do? I guess we can look at the DNA. Rodriguez, how are you on this false teeth case? I think we've got a lead. We can send it over to the UK. And so 11 years later, he was very surprised to see it just turn up in his mailbox

do they still fit probably you put them back out now after they've been in landfill where have they been he'd be like

oh thanks someone else could have been wearing them for 10 years you know false teeth turn up everywhere don't they you always hear

stories about grandparents losing their false teeth down the toilet or producer Behemoth was saying before the show there was a lady

who bought a brand new jacket and put her hand in the pocket and there was some false teeth there. That's not unsettling. And that is what is making big news

in New Zealand and around the world this morning. Very shortly we're talking about an auction in New Zealand that got $50,000. Yeah we're talking about an auction in New Zealand.

They've got $50,000. Yeah, we're going to talk to the lady that made this money and another guy who had his auction go up above $4,000. That's right. They join us next. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. We talked to a couple of really fascinating people yesterday. A first lady who found some old Star Wars figurines

and didn't really think much of them. Where did you find these Star Wars figurines? Originally, what would have happened, Mum would have bought them for my brother, put them away for his birthday, and she probably forgot about them. So you had to go through all the stuff, and I understand when you came to these Star Wars figurines,

you're like, well, I don't know if they're worth anything. You were just pretty much going to give them away. So by that stage, I gave it to my beautiful friend Cheryl. She thought she'd give it to her grandson, who didn't want them. So she went, oh, I'll list them on Trade Me for $25. He was sick for them. Oh, hopefully we get Melanie $150. And what did you end up getting?

$52,350. How's that? Crazy? $52,350. How's that? Crazy. $50,000. And she found them in a shipping container. Her mum had two houses full of just stuff and a shipping container. You'd be like, oh, my gosh. You'd almost be like trying to keep her alive so you didn't have to go through the stuff.

A lot of stuff. Yeah. So that was an amazing auction on Trade Me. And then we got Ryan who phoned through and he blew into a bag. Not a drink driving test. No, but he made, well, potentially made a whole lot of money. The listing went up to about a hundred grand. A hundred grand? I know, it was even more than that at one point.

What were you selling? So I was selling a COVID free bag of air, which sounds a bit ridiculous. And it's because it is ridiculous. Well, it got up to like a hundred grand, as you said, but you had to take it down? So I didn't actually have to take it down. I got this kind of ominous call from Trade Me one day and just saying, oh, it has to be removed. And, you know, I was a little bit annoyed, but, you know. You're like, it's up to $4 million.

I know, but Jono, you know you're like it's up to four million dollars I know but Jono you can't fight corporate you can't cheesy was funny isn't it sometimes you're like you should be here

doing my job why are you not you know because he's off being an entrepreneur that's right he's out there selling bags of

COVID free hey well next we're going to talk to Ruby who's from Trade Me she's going to come on and explain the craziest items that have been

on Trade Me how much they've fetched as well and what are the rules yeah because obviously Ryan's auction got taken

down you know like because it was fake bidders but what happens in that you know like if you put a bid up do you

have to actually follow through on it we'll find out next with Ruby from Trade Me unusual Trade Me items

it'll shock you on the heads there have been some very unusual purchases that have Trade Me. Unusual Trade Me items. It'll shock you on the hit. There've been some very unusual purchases that have gone up on Trade Me recently that have made news and we thought we'd talk to someone from Trade Me who's got up nice and early for us. It's Ruby. Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby!

How are ya? It's a bit early for that. I'm well. That's too much. Is that too much at this time of morning? That could be our new marketing slogan. Jono and Ben, it's a bit early for that. That's too much. Is that too much at this time of morning? That could be our new marketing slogan. Jono and Ben, it's a bit early for that. Hey, Ruby from Trade Me, if you can try and do a half-decent job of sounding awake. No, thank you. We appreciate you getting up early for us.

It means a lot. Because we have been talking this week about unusual items that are for sale from time to time on Trade Me, and I imagine you've seen quite a lot. Because we have been talking this week about unusual items that are for sale from time to time on Trade Me. And I imagine you've seen quite a lot. Yeah, there's plenty of weird and wonderful on our site. There's no doubt about it. There's lots of really good stuff. Well, we spoke to Ryan yesterday, and he was saying that he put up his

COVID-free bag of air, you know, fetched upwards of four mil. Wonderful auction. Then he had to pull pin on it. Do people put unusual items up all the time? Yeah, they do. They do. In fact, last week we had a member in Martin's list her husband for sale. Oh, we spoke to that.

Yes, that lady. He went on a fishing trip and she was like, all right, I'll show you and put her husband up for auction. That's right. Yeah. I mean, selling your husband up for auction. That's right, yeah. I mean, selling your spouse actually goes against our T's and C's. She can't sell partners. What happens in that situation? I mean, obviously you guys have a good sense of humor,

but obviously you have to abide by the T's and C's. So what, do you reach out to someone and say, hey, on this occasion you can't sell your husband? Yeah, that's exactly what happened and i think from talking to michelle um she got her message across despite the auction um yeah sometimes sometimes that's the case but other times the things um are perfectly fine and despite how strange they may seem to some they they go through. My personal favourite is still in 2020, the homemade Tesla where a member in

New Plymouth sort of fashioned a Tesla Cybertruck out of a 2000 Toyota Vitz and some metal sheets. And so, does that item sell? Because, I mean, they've actually got it. Yep, yep, that one sold. That one sold for about $500.

It was really popular, but it was not road legal. But, yep, no, that one sold. That one sold for about 500 bucks. It was really popular, but it wasn't a road legal. But yep, that one went ahead just fine. Like if I was to put up, you know, Ben Boyce's half-used bottle of hand sanitizer, and it went crazy, went up to $3 million. Does Trade Me pull pin then, or just because it's an actual item, I can sell it for that? Oh, at the end of the day, the other thing that comes into play is obviously, like, who are we to judge if somebody wants to buy your hand sanitizer for $3 million? So if there's a willing buyer and a willing seller.

What are the rules if you're up late at night and you buy an exotic lion or something and you wake up the next morning, do you have to purchase the lion? Yep, click it. If you click buy now buy now it's yours that's how it works wow there's no coming back from that no no you're the new proud owner of a lion which you actually can't actually you can't buy a lion i appreciate you going along with the hypothetical situation even though it was ridiculous oh really interesting. Yeah, because often you guys feature them, the more unusual ones. Yes, we do.

We've got our call auctions page, which is just a treasure trove, absolutely hilarious what pops up in there. It's a treasure trove of people wanting a New ZealandHerald.co.nz headline. Yeah. And they get it. Hey, Ruby, thank you so much for talking to us this morning. And I don't know if you're awake enough yet for it, but I'm going to give you a Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby.

It's still too early for that. Yeah, it is. Ruby, thanks for your time. See you later. It's now all through the month of February. We're doing 28 good deeds in 28 days. We've been out delivering papers, washing dogs, doing all sorts. Washing cars. If we ever, you know, if this stops for us, this career stops for us,

we always have a profession in washing people's cars in a rush for free, Ben. Yeah, that's right. It's actually really lovely to do some things for people. It has, and I've never committed to something so much in my entire life. I'm more committed to this than I am my marriage, Ben just going on and we're not even halfway there 28 deeds we're doing in 28 days and yesterday's one we had kylie get in touch with us now she's got three children they cost a lot children they don't tell you that at the beginning they should say these things that you've made these weird red little things that come out screaming and yelling they're going to cost you.

That's right. So Kylie texted her and we thought we'd give her a call back yesterday. We called her back after the show. And, well, she was in the middle of a meeting, but we still went through with our good deed anyway. Hello? Is Kylie there? Speaking.

Kylie, how are you? Good. You sound like you're on speakerphone or something. This is not going to be conducive for a top quality radio broadcast. Oh, shit. Yeah. Yeah. I'm in a meeting.

Put us on speaker, Kylie. You're on speaker. Oh, hello. Who's in the meeting? It's Jono and Ben from The Hits here. Hi, everyone. Really? Seriously?

Listen. Oh, hello. I? Yeah. Really? Listen. Oh, hello. I don't know what sort of meeting we need to... I don't know what you do. Hopefully you're not making Kylie redundant. Yeah, don't do that. If that's what the meeting's about, don't do that. She's great.

We're here as her representatives. Keep her around. Listen, first on the agenda for this meeting, if you don't mind me taking control of the meeting Is we need to give Kylie Enough money for the week To pay for her supermarket shopping Oh, how cool

Outstanding You text through And we're doing 28 good deeds Through February, one a day And we thought this text is deserving Of us paying your supermarket shopping for the week. I didn't expect you to actually bring that. You can take us off speaker now, Kylie.

That's so cool. Lovely to hear from you all. We'll go to Kylie, just, you know, old school, here. Yeah. We're going to pay for the supermarket shopping for you, your three children, and their empty, empty stomachs that never seem to end. Awesome. Thank you.

No worries at all. And it's your birthday this month, we understand. Yes. Oh, nice. Well, it's not my real one because they don't actually have it this year. What do you mean you don't have it this year? Well, I'm on the 29th. Oh, so you're in the leap year situation.

Yeah. So we are talking to a six-year-old now. Hey, I'm eight. Oh, eight. Sorry. So how many actual birthdays have you had? Eight. Eight?

Oh, yeah, you just said that. That was a stupid question. So eight. What do you do the other years? Do you just celebrate on the 28th or what? Yeah. Well, Kylie, what a birthday present. It's come early this year.

Yeah, we'll sort out your shopping for a week. Thank you so much for listening to the show. Thank you for answering a call weirdly in the middle of a work meeting. Do you want to put us back on speaker? You keep ringing me. Yeah, we're very persistent. Hey, everybody. Is there a Smith in the meeting?

If Smith's in the meeting, you need to lift your numbers next month. Better be better next month. Yeah, your monthly targets. You're dragging the business down. All right. We'll let you guys go back to your meeting. See you guys later. Bye. See you guys.

Bye. There you go, Ben Boyce, interrupting in an annual general meeting there, but also doing a good deed at the same time. Do we chalk up two as well? What's that? Well, attending a meeting. Maybe.

I think they're emailing the technicality. I think you're right. Hey, Drew, spies next? Yeah, Kiwi has. Maybe. Mail in the technicality. I think you're right. Hey, Drew, Spy's next. Yeah, Kiwi has topped Forbes' highest paid entertainers list. I'll tell you who that is in a few minutes' time. You got the hits? It is Jono and Ben. Breakfast with Jono and Ben.

You're on the hits, Jono and Ben, on a Friday with 306 community cases yesterday. Biggest ever. Where's the 50,000? Are they coming soon? Apparently it's doubling. Hopefully. It's probably on the way. 50,000 by Thursday and they keep ramping it up but I did hear 1,000 by next week.

Right. That was the alarming. Stop making predictions. It's going to go up and then that's all. We know that. It's trickling up at the moment. But anyway, right now what's trickling in is Spy. Spy. Know what's up.

Spy.co.nz. I make it sound like someone was having a pee or something. From Chris Hemsworth to Chris Jenner to Chris Warner, all your Christmases has come at once right now. Juliet, what's happening in celebrity? So the 2022 edition of Forbes highest paid entertainers list has come at once right now. Juliet, what's happening in celebrity? So the 2022 edition of Forbes highest paid entertainers list has come out. And number one, the highest paid entertainer

is our very own Peter Jackson. Oh! So he made $580 million. That's in USD, so that's over $800 million in New Zealand. You know when it's in USD? Yeah, it's a lot better. At the moment, we've got Christopher Luxem, our national leader, sort of peering through the window,

putting his face up against the glass here. Should we let him in? Like we're some sort of spectator sport. But the reason why Peter Jackson is at the top of the list is because the sale of his visual effects firm last year really, really made him a lot of money. Up there as well is Kanye West, Bruce

Springsteen, Jay-Z. He's only the third filmmaker ever to hit the billionaire mark. Oh my god. Why is he still in New Zealand? Does he still live here? Yeah, he lives in the Wairarapa, doesn't he? He's got a house in the Wairarapa, yeah. He could probably buy New Zealand. Just buy New Zealand.

But great, why not? Kick us all out and you can have New Zealand to yourself. But it's awesome that we can do this amazing Hollywood special effects from right here in New Zealand. Oh, it is, yeah. Being part of creating a whole industry and a whole, you know, it's awesome. I do remember a day talking to our old friend Stephen Spielberg last year, Ben Wilson.

We did talk to Stephen Spielberg. Yeah, old Steve-o. Did that feel good to name drop that we talked to Steve Swoosh? Yeah, he's a mate of ours. He was saying that he just respects Peter Jackson so much. And that's something Steve would say, obviously. But obviously, if Peter Jackson wasn't here, James Cameron wouldn't be down here living, making movies. He is so vital to our economy.

That's awesome. If anything happens to Peter Jackson, like, nothing can happen to Peter Jackson. No. Lose me. Yeah. Happily. Happily. We've been trying to for a while.

And that is your Spy Entertainment News for this hour. For more, you can head to thehits.co.nz. After 7 o'clock on the show, Five Words $5,000 is back again. We had a winner yesterday and hopefully today we'll make it two from two for 22. It could probably be the biggest win for a New Zealander in the last seven days if we get another one.

Now we want to open up the phones. 0800 THE HITS. You can get in touch with us anytime. 4487. That's if you prefer the communication method of text. Now standard SMS text fees do apply. We have to say that now. Someone must have

complained that they were getting standard SMS fees charged to their account. Yeah. Which is fair enough too. So you know that now. And it's all on you. If you want to text us, you know what it's going to cost you. We love the text. We love the text, but it's going to cost you dearly.

Standard SMS. Yeah. Hopefully you've got a plan and it's fine uh we uh what open the phones what are you spending way too much time on uh because producer b humps came in here b humps you showed us a photo pre-show yeah uh you can explain what it is um so uh it's a sensory board for my nine-month-old daughter. So it's basically a wooden board with lots of things stuck to it that she can play with, twist, turn, squeeze. So what have you got in there? I saw a set of keys hanging off a hook. Yeah, I've got some fine chain link hanging off a hook,

a roller blade wheel that can spin around, a gate latch that she can open and close a spring a light switch it looks like the creation

of a madman it's like why have you put all this in there I don't know I was just doing stuff or it looks like something a prisoner

would make I mean it's cute it's adorable but yeah that definitely looks like it was made in Perimano sorry how

how many hours have you spent on this so I thought it would be a good little project for the long weekend last weekend so I Saturday morning

I kicked off and it's not quite finished yet so I spent what other crazy items are you going to attach to the board it's been a lot of trips to Bunnings

it's been there's three or four coats of paint on it because I items you can attach to the board? It's been a lot of trips to Bunnings. It's been, there's three or four coats of paint on it because I thought I'd get snazzy and do half one colour, half another, but then they bled in the middle so then I had to do another coat to clean that up and then I spilt a bit on one side

and then so I had to repaint it. Excuse my ignorance, are these sensory boards, are these things that you can buy as a product already made? I did Google it and yeah, the $49.99 it came up. I've spent $190 on it. Yeah, but look at yours. Yours doesn't look like it's put together in prison. That's right.

This is why we have cute children in factories in faraway lands, mate. So you don't have to waste your energy. Yeah, it's been a thing. Well, it's good on you. But yeah, and then we wanted to know this morning, like how producer B Humps, what are you spending way too much time on? Yeah, well, at least for you know, deep down in your heart, that'll bring Dottie, you know, at least half a day of joy before she gets bored of it.

Exactly. Yeah, but there are many things that you're like, why am I spending time on this? You're wasting a lot of time on the NBA Fantasy League. Yes, I joined that. There's no prize involved. I've spent all this time looking at players' injuries, who's got health and safety protocols, who's got COVID, who's got more rebounds,

all these stats and that. And my wife the other day was like, what's the prize if you win against your mates? I was like, nothing. There's no prize. It doesn't cost't cost me any money doesn't cost me anything but I'm like why am I spending it's like another job why am I doing this yeah well to be fair but far be it for me to judge another person's fantasies but if your fantasy is managing a fictitious team of professional NBA players to win a hypothetical NBA title, I think you could get better fantasies.

That's my fantasy. Spending a lot of time on it. So, 0800 The Hats, what are you spending a lot of time on? We'd love your calls and texts this morning on The Hats. The Hats. Jono and Ben. I want to know this morning, what are you spending way too much time on? You know, and that's fine.

Maybe it gives you enjoyment, but other people may judge you. I was just thinking this. I have always had an issue with making the bed. It's something that you go through a routine, a ritual you go through every morning. You make the bed, then only 12 hours later you mess up the bed. It was getting on my nerves. It's been getting on my nerves for a long time.

I keep mentioning it. So now I just sleep on top of the bed, like I'm testing out a post-traumatic mattress and, you know, bedpost or something. So saving yourself a bit of time. Then you don't have to make it. You just kind of just straighten the duvet. But then in wintertime, you're going to get cold.

That's the problem. But those are the lengths I'm willing to go to not to have to make a bed. You'll be one of those people that go to bed putting on all these clothes and stuff like in a hoodie and a bed. What's he doing? He just says, I hear he doesn't like making the bed. Yeah. My wife's watching a show at the moment uh vikings and it's like she's into it but it's got so many

episodes i'm like and she's one of these people unlike me she's commits to it she's like started watching us i need to watch it it's 89 episodes long is it about danny virk they make these socks in a factory but online you can work out how long it's going to take you to watch shows. And I looked online on this one, three days, seven hours. She's going to spend three days, seven hours of her life in total watching this show. Is it just Vikings going around pillaging? No, it's not Vikings. It's one of those ones.

It's like we have shows that we watch together. We have shows that we watch separately. I'm like, it's not for me. It's not for me. I don't think Vikings would be for you. And I feel like it's not even for her now. I was like, fade out of it. Just stop watching it. You don't have's not for me that's not for me I don't think Vikings would be for you and I feel like it's not even her now like she's I was like

fade out of it just stop watching it but she's still like I've started it now you won't hurt the Vikings feelings I'll be right Juliet actually

spending a lot of time wasting a lot of time on Wordle and we become collateral from this when she starts a Wordle she does it silently

and she goes three in one she's had three incorrect guesses, she brings the wider community in. It's like a phone a friend situation. Yeah, she calls us in. And then we got hocked on it the other day, didn't we? Yes, yes. And then we spend all our time on it. We're like, why are we doing this? I know, but it's something

that I don't want to rush, so I actually do spend quite a lot of time on it. But I did actually find out a little, not a hack, but a very good word to start with if you do play. Adieu, like without further adieu, because A-D-I-E-U knocks off four vowels, so it's a really good starting

word, so it might set you up a little bit better. Well, as soon as she brings this in, it's like we just kissed goodbye to 30 minutes. That is gone. And we can't say no, it's like a free sample at the supermarket. She knows our weak point. Liz, you're on New Zealand's Breakfast. How are you? Good.

How are you guys? Yeah, we're doing really well, Liz. What are you spending way too much time doing? Well, it's a bit like Wordle. It's just my screen time is pretty bad. What are we talking? How many hours a day, Liz? Not including when I do at work, about nine hours.

That's all work week. Nine hours a day? Yeah. Are you streaming shows on it, or this is just you just flicking through social? I think social, yeah. Pretty bad. This isn't a fun phone topic. This is an intervention now.

Put the phone down, Liz. Put the phone down. Oh, that's impressive. Nine hours a day. Is that beating you, Ju? Yes, it is. I'm at an average of six hours at the moment. Still disturbing. Yeah, I know. Good on that's impressive. Nine hours a day. Is that beating you, Ju? Yes, it is. I'm at an average of six hours at the moment. Still disturbing. Yeah, I know.

Good on you, Liz. Appreciate your call. Marama, you're on. Welcome. You've spent way too much time doing what? I spend way too much time browsing radio competitions. Oh, you bloody prize pig. Yeah, I am. I'm one of them,

right? I'm one of them. Have you won much stuff in the past? No. No, I haven't, actually. It's a thankless job. Yeah. Yeah, no, it's like trying to win a lotto, trying to get through phone lines.

How many radio stations do you call? I should say, I only call your one. Yeah. But no I call three Okay Coming to you guys Yeah

You guys ZM and The Edge Okay So she's not loyal No In any way Whatsoever But I feel like

You're about to reward this lady We've got some Hell pizza over there We're going to Give you your first prize On the radio How's that sound You're kidding

Yeah we're going to Send you out some Hell pizza right Oh awesome man But we demand That you delete We'll give you your first prize on the radio. How's that sound? You're kidding. Yeah, we're going to send you out some hell pizza, right? Oh, awesome, mate. But we demand that you delete Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley from your radio and whoever's hosting your breakfast at the moment. Yep, all for the hell pizza, I'm in. All right, sounds good.

You have yourself a great weekend, all right? Yep, awesome. Thank you. Good on you, madam. We were just talking about Wordle, and Wordle saves someone's life overseas. It's a remarkable, like an amazing tale, how it saved a life of someone without a word of a lie.

We're going to talk about that very shortly on The Hats. Scrolling through your feed. Stolen straight from the internet and broadcast straight into your ears. This is the news that you need to know, Ben. Protests are continuing outside of Parliament, and there's no sign of letting up at the moment. Well, there's a lot of signs, actually. A lot of great signs. But yeah, we just watched something on the breakfast

news that, you know, there was a lady who had no clothes on, she was protesting getting dragged away by police as well. Juliet said to be a naked lady. Yeah. I mean, someone even tried to put a sheet over her, one of her fellow protesters, and she was like, no. She didn't want the sheet on her.

So maybe that was the clothing optional at the protest. She was one of 120 people arrested so far, causing major disruptions to people trying to get into the Wellington CBD. I think it's causing some buses and some other places you can't go down. And it seems like a mishmash of messaging coming through too. You've got some people who want to get Trump back into office. You've got some people who don't want to be vaccinated. You've got some other people who just don't want to go to work, I guess.

We had a text through from a farmer who's like, listen, I went down there from Foxton on Tuesday and this farmer said, I've had to go back because cows don't milk themselves. But Destiny Church turned up uninvited and people weren't too happy with that. So this person left after that. But he said, listen, I'm double vaxxed. I've got the booster. I just don't support government mandates. And that was, I think, was meant to be the thing, right?

It was all about anti-mandates. You know, being told what to do and all that. But yeah, but I think it's turned into a whole. Apparently the organiser of the protests, who the police were communicating with, on day one went, oh, wow, this is a lot bigger than I thought it was going to be. Not this many people replied to my Facebook invite. And so then I think they've backed out. So there's no one that they can actually communicate with or liaise with.

So that looks to be dragging on until next week, unfortunately. I might go down and start a protest as well. Just chuck one in there. Just bring back John and Ben on TV. State-funded hair for everyone. Something. And Wordle is the game that everyone's talking about, the online word game, and it saved someone's life.

An 80-year-old Chicago woman, she plays the game every day, like a lot of people, like producer Juliette. And every day she shares her Wordle results with her friends and family. And she's been doing this every day. And then one day her family noticed that she hadn't shared anything. And they thought, that's really unusual. She's not boasting today. She's not showing off.

And so they basically, it sounded like they went around there and she was held hostage. She'd been held hostage. What? By someone who broke into her home. Yeah. Yeah. Now, fortunately, she hasn't been hurt or anything like that, but the police have apprehended this person and he's now arrested.

But thanks to Wordle, she's pretty much saved her life. Changing lives. And, I guess, the hostage taker who broke into the home, he wasn't helping with the Wordle as well. Oh, what a meal. Agony. Oh, no, no. Okay, now too many be? Agony. Oh, no, no. Okay, too many words.

Okay, right. Yeah, no. Police? You keep putting police in. Why do you keep putting police in? Hostage? Oh, no. Too many words.

Fortunately, things are all good there, but there you go. It's a crazy story out of the USA. Yeah, well, thank goodness for wordle, eh? Yeah. Yesterday, I did something in a mask. Oh, it wasn't good. I don't know if you've done this. Was it get arrested naked at the protest, Ben Boyce?

No, no. Not quite that. But something that left me feeling a little wacky. We'll talk about it next. Jono and Ben. Breakfast on the hits. Now everyone, we're wearing masks out and about these days. Apart from the 300 people outside Parliament.

Everyone else, they're sticking to the rules. And I did something yesterday. I had an experience. You don't wish upon anyone when you're wearing a mask. And I was trying for so long to fight the urge to sneeze. And I couldn't anymore. I used to go away. And sneezing in a mask.

Oh, it's like a face tsunami. Just like when you're there and you're like, I'll deal with this later. But at the moment you're sitting there. You can't take it off. So it's all just sitting there. It's just sitting there, you know. And there's just that layer of moisture.

And it feels like one of the worst things you can do at the moment is sneeze. Everyone's like, you know, so you're trying to do it quietly, but you have a sneeze and you're doing it in the mask. And you're like, oh, no. I was in a bank the other day. A guy came in and robbed it with a balaclava. He walked out. I sneezed. And I was in a bank the other day. A guy came in and robbed it with a balaclava. He walked out. I sneezed.

And I was the monster. It's a true story without a word of a lie. But I got thinking about the different types of sneezes. There's always a different type. People say online it's like laughs. People have different laughs. People have different sneezes. I've noticed my wife, Jennifer, she's only a quarter sneezer.

She doesn't get the full sneeze out. We had Bronnie, our old boss. Yeah. Cute little sneezes, eh? Like a quarter sneezer. She doesn't get the full sneeze out. We had Bronnie, our old boss, was a... Cute little sneezers, eh? Like a tiny little kitten. Like a kitten. Like a little kitten. And then you get the...

We talked about this before, the boomer. Oh, my dad. Usually the male boomer that loves it. Like, bring the house down with the sneeze. The 60 plus... I am sneezing and everyone's going to know that. Imagine one of those with a face mask on. The G-forces would blow it off. I am sneezing and everyone's going to know that. Imagine one of those

with a face mask on. The G-forces would blow it off. It'd clean off your face. The other one I enjoy too is my wife does this, is the pause. It's like you've almost paused them on still. It's like,

she stopped. What's going on? She had a stroke. And then the sneeze would go. Sometimes it does it and other times it does, but it's like the stop mid-conversation. It's like, yeah. It's like you just paused them before the sneeze will go. Sometimes it doesn't, and other times it does, but it's like the stop mid-conversation. It's like, yeah,

it's like you just pause them before the sneeze will happen. I can't not sneeze and then have another five sneezes straight after. I'll go the six in a row. Get them all out of there. And that's a nightmare

when you've got a mask on. Yeah. I was looking a little bit about sneezing last night. The origins of God bless you. You had a fun night last night. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about, guys. So God bless you. You always say bless you. You had a fun night last night. That's what I'm talking about.

God bless you. You always say bless you. Apparently it came from back in the day when people were very superstitious. They thought that maybe sneezing was releasing your soul to evil spirits. Potentially you're sneezing at your soul. Bless you. That was the thing to sort of make sure that evil spirits didn't get your soul. So the evil spirits are just sitting on your

face right now. They're just waiting. Yeah, we'll do it in a mask. They're waiting for our sneezes to come out. You can't sneeze when you're sleeping. There's another one as well. There's no way you can sneeze when you're sleeping. And a lady, if the Guinness World Record for the most amount of sneezes,

she sneezed for pretty much three years, and she didn't know why she was sneezing and what made her stop. Have some clarity. January 13, 1981 until September 16, 1983, a total of 978 days, she sneezed. I guess she didn't sneeze in her sleep. Continuously. Yeah, but nonstop. That reminds me of a would you rather. Would you rather always have the feeling like you need to sneeze or always have hiccups?

Oh. Do I have to shoot one and sleep with one? Is that how this game works? I'm going to sleep with the hiccups. That's exactly how it works. We've got $5,000 up for grabs very shortly. It was one yesterday. Five grand could be yours very shortly on the hits.

Five words for 5K. You're just five words away from $5,000. It is our game of word association. We play it every morning at this time. We tell you five words. You tell us what pops into your head. Then one of us plays the same game. And if we all match all five words, you win $5,000.

And it happened for the first time yesterday. Battery. I got it. Charger. He wins! Charger! Ryan! $5,000!

Oh, guys, thank you so very much. That was Ryan, the mail delivery person in Picton through the Marlborough Sounds. He delivers mail by boat, and now he'll be delivering $5,000 to him. No, no, we're delivering the... Why did I do that? Why did I do that? It doesn't quite work, does it? No, I went for something. Let's get Kayleigh on to smoke screen this.

Nelson, how are you, Kayleigh? I'm good, thank you. Morning, guys. Morning to you. Lovely to have you on New Zealand's Breakfast. Kayleigh, off to work as a painter. Yes, yeah, I'm a painting apprentice, second year. Gee, you've got to be careful.

I did some very amateur painting over the Christmas holidays. Paint all over the carpet, all over the floors. Oh, no, yeah, that sounds like a disaster. Amateur painting makes it sound like you did some life drawing or something, John. Yeah. Maybe that's where I went wrong. Yeah, I'd say so. Okay, Kayleigh, what are you going to spend $5,000 on?

I'd just love to go for a shopping spree, to be honest. Go buy myself some nice things, maybe get my hair done. I'm also moving house very shortly, so it'll definitely come in handy. She's going to get her hair did if she wins this 5K. We'll see if we can go two from two, back to back. 5K wins. Who are you sending into the soundproof booth this morning, Kayleigh? I'm going to send Ben. Okay.

And I'm going to tell Ben, get that skinny little tush in that soundproof booth. And Kayleigh, let's try and match five words. We'll suck some words out of your mouth, and then we'll suck some words out of his mouth, and then hopefully your words will stick together. Here we go. First word, salt. Salt? Pepper.

Pepper, yes. Word number two, Hillary. Salt? Pepper. Yes. Word number two, Hillary. Clinton. Annual. Year. Stadium. Rugby. Muffin. Mutton.

Muffin. Bearing in mind I call Ben my little love muffin every morning. That might be in his head. Cupcake. Cupcake. Muffin, cupcake. Good game, Kayleigh. Jeez, if you paint as quick as you play five words, I'll hire you to do my house.

That was a wonderful effort. That was beautiful. Kayleigh did a great game It was quick It wasn't in there for long If there was any opportunity For us to go back to back wins here It's right now

This could make Let's hope so Five words history I've come in in on good form From yesterday So hopefully we can do this Salt Come on Ben

Salt Pepper Hillary Barry Why would you go hillary barry hillary clinton annual leave stadium uh seats muffin cupcake Stadium. Seats. Muffin. Cupcake. Oh, yes. We didn't do that. It was all on me.

It was all on me. He was the star player yesterday. Now he's dropped from the team. I'm going to bench myself. Yeah, we're going to trade you. Maybe I should have chosen you, Jono. What's that? Sorry?

Maybe I should have chosen you, Jono. To be honest, I wouldn't have done much better probably, Kayleigh. I love your work. You keep doing great things out there at Nelson and thank you for listening to the show. Oh, thank you so much, guys.

Have a good day. You too. See you, mate. We've got some spy on the way. Yeah, the Super Bowl organisers are doing something very outrageous to keep the rehearsals

for the halftime show secret. Which is an epic line-up. Yes, the epic line-up. I'll tell you what they're doing next. Jono and Ben. It is the hits're doing next. Jono and Ben. It is the hits. You've got Jono and Ben 10 minutes away from 7 o'clock.

8 o'clock. Spy. Know what's up. Spy.co.nz You're way behind the times, aren't you? She's having so much fun she wants it to go another hour. It's still another hour, guys.

All right, over to the show dentist because she's about to drill down on these celebrities. What's happening in Spy, Ju? So the Super Bowl is happening on monday our time and one of the big highlights that we like to focus on and watch is the halftime show um it can cost about 10 million dollars to put together for like what 15 minutes sort of performance um and this year the performers are Eminem, Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre, which is a very, very good lineup in my opinion. But the organisers of the Super Bowl are keeping rehearsals

for the halftime show a secret by blasting Bon Jovi 24-7 around the stadium. So that anyone driving past, past has no idea sort of what's can't hear what's going on inside the stadium so is living on a prayer on loop is it pretty much on loop yeah right don't get me wrong i love living on a prayer but yeah on repeat for three days beaming out of a stadium they get a bit frustrating just looking at the seats because obviously super bowl was you know it's huge The cheapest seats, they talk about the nosebleed seats, way

up in the stadium, about six grand it would cost you American for the cheapest seat. And then they're just saying that someone who's a former footballer just paid for a luxury suite for the game. That's for 18 people will be paid over two million dollars for a luxury suite. That is outrageous.

And each ad I think is like about 6.5 mil. Last year, 6.5 mil for a minute of airtime during the Super Bowl halftime show. I've just seen the commercial for the lineup of the halftime show with all the artists. That alone looks like the budget of New Zealand. It's just a promo pushing the halftime show. I know, but it always is Such a highlight

Doesn't it You know Like it's something That I would watch And I actually was I've been lucky enough To be in America When the Super Bowl

Was on in the past And all the bars Are filled You just order You know Buffalo chicken wings With you know Your blue cheese sauce

And everyone just Gets so into it I liked Hooters When we went over there Ben You and me went to Hooters You were like We there. Ben, you and me went to Hooters. You were like, we shouldn't be going to Hooters. But Hooters cuisine is just, I'm a food

bogan and I was like, this is my place. Hooters! This is my place. We had a good time. You're like, I can't believe you're taking me to Hooters. I ended up having to dress up in the Hooters outfits. Did you? You made me do that as well. Oh, that's funny. And deliver stuff, deliver chicken wings to you as well. That's right.

Now there's those things, those memesiver chicken wings to you as well. That's right. That's right. Now there's those things, those memes. This will make you feel old. This will make you feel old. Dr. Dre's 56 years old. Is he? Jennifer Aniston today, 253. It's her birthday today.

Really? Yeah. Holy heck. She was. Dr. Dre will be needing a real doctor soon in about 10 years. Very true. And Britney Spears has teased her first new music in six years. She posted it on Instagram.

It's going to be a song called Get Naked, which I'm intrigued to hear what the lyrics of that will be. But she's teased that, and also Ed Sheeran, him and Taylor Swift have a new song that's coming out today. Maybe that's what that naked lady at the protest was listening to, the teaser of Britney's new song. Yeah, true. Maybe that's what inspired her. Hey, Britney told me to do it. There we go. Well, good on Britney. It's good to see Britney back on the

train. Yeah, it's awesome. Exactly. And that is your Spy Update for this hour. For more, you can head to the hits.co.nz. After 8 o'clock, I'm about to... Christopher Luxon joins us in the studio. National Party leader in about 10-15 minutes. Are you going to be able to tell the difference between me and Christopher? I'm worried. I'm worried. You might be asking me able to tell the difference between me and Christopher? I'm worried.

I'm worried. You might be asking me questions thinking I'm Christopher. Just so you know, I'm not. Okay. All right. Yeah. All right. Well, we'll see how that works after eight.

It is the hits. You got Jono and Ben. The hits. Jono and Ben. It's Jono and Ben on your Friday morning. Joined in the studio by National Party leader Christopher Luxon. Nice to have you here. Great to be with you guys.

I'm honoured to be in the sanctum, the inner sanctum with you guys. I've never seen you and Jono in the same room at the same time, so you are two different people. He is a great looking man, and I loved his little sort of not my name sort of thing the other day. It was great. So, no, really good. Ben Boyce hasn't, I've been moonlighting as the National Party leader. I was wondering that.

You know, April 1st, we should do a job spot. We should. Yes! Actually, you should come down to Wellington and sort of upset my caucus and just pretend to be me. You had the job now for, well, how long? It's been a few months?

About 10 or 11 weeks, I think. Yeah, and how's it been? I mean, are you sleeping many hours at night? I mean, how's it working? No, I'm really loving it. I mean, it's sort of, there's just a lot to do and it's a pretty interesting time

in New Zealand at the moment because one of the big challenges we've got is just this economic issue where prices are going up big time and people's wages aren't keeping up. And so that's the sort of issues that you start thinking about. Well, how do you solve that stuff? Well, I was thinking because inflation is going to rise by 6%, is it? That's right. It's up 6%. Jeez, that was a good question.

You know you're so ready to take over. Honestly. Put me on, coach. Great. So how do you manage that? Because if people can't afford to pay rent, buy food, buy petrol. Yeah it's a big issue. I mean essentially what's happening is that the government's increased spending by about 68 percent and so all we're just sort of saying to them is look guys you've got to pull back and rein it in a little bit a bit like we would with our personal finances or

our small businesses and so that we actually can make we actually can make sure the money's going to the right places, because that money being spent in the economy actually powers up the inflation a bit, which ultimately leads to higher interest rates, which is not good. So I'm getting quite economic with you. It's a sort of show to get. Don't bother going upstairs to Hosking. I'll leave Hosking. We'll just carry on.

Because there is a lot of frustration around at the moment. I mean, even having to deal with COVID. Let's say tomorrow you're made Prime Minister of New Zealand. What's the first thing you'd do? Oh, look, I mean, the key thing we've got to do is try and just keep the country united, I think, at the moment. You know, sometimes it just feels like a bit over the last year or so that we've started to sort of all fall apart into our little groups.

And the first thing we've got to remember is we're all Kiwis and we're all New Zealanders. And just, I think that's really important for us. So the first thing you'd do is get rid of the riffraff outside parliament at the moment what is going on there it seems like there's about nine different messages from this one group it is quite chaotic when you walk around and sort of see what the signs are up on the on the on the vans there's a Trump supporter in there there's all sorts of people protesting all sorts of things but to be honest it's a bit you know you don't mind people having a right to protest that's a good thing right but I mean what's happening here is these guys have shown up pretty abusive

and fairly aggressive and antisocial. And when you've blocked the streets and it's hard for people to get the kids to school and trying to catch the bus to work and if there's an emergency, you know, getting those services through is really tough. I mean, we want people to protest, you know, but you've got to sort of be respectful of everyone else. Because I think when you're protesting freedom and then you're impinging on the freedoms of everybody else,

that's sort of the irony in the whole thing. Do you have security that follow you around now? No, no, just Jake who sort of... Just Jake, you are the security Jake. Jake's are awesome, so no, that's it. There's no security. No security? They don't provide security. Do they drive you around in a car now?

Occasionally, yeah, occasionally if I need it. But no, look, I mean, I sort of... That's the great thing about New Zealand though, right? no security they don't provide security do they drive you around in a car now occasionally yeah occasionally occasionally if I need it but no look I mean I sort of that's the great thing about New Zealand though right I mean I remember I met

President Obama and we had him out in New Zealand and you know he probably had 25 secret service guys with him for the whole two days

just playing golf you know you just got Jake yeah we just got Jake Jake's like I'm not even he's very good Jake I mean like he's really good but you know

Jake's the Kevin Costner to even. He's very good, Jake. I mean, he's really good. Jake's the Kevin Costner to your Whitney Houston. So on the golf course, he had 25 secret secrets. Yeah, it's funny, the American presidents, because what happens is after you leave, you can never fly commercial airplanes again. You've always got to fly by private jet. And even Jimmy Carter at 95 years old goes down to Brazil, and he's got 25 secret service guys until he dies as well.

And so that's just how it rolls. Whereas know john key leaves and i remember you know a week later you know he's got no security guys and you're out there coming out from dinner once and i remember you know someone's trying to convert him you know a homeless guy's trying to convert him some other guy's talking to me about wanting to do indian new zealand business and our wives are trying to find the taxi you know so it's sort of very cool about New Zealand I reckon how yeah we actually stay close to people you know so you're friends with John Key obviously is he is he uh you're meeting up with him is he giving you advice oh we're just I got to know him actually when I was CID New Zealand he was prime minister and we just would sort of talk you know occasionally during the week and you know very late at night we're both in our offices and so

they're just he's just become a good friend mean, I like his wife more than him probably. Broner, she's a bit more appealing. She's cool. She's really cool. Well, we've had a lot of people texting in wanting to ask you questions and things. Do you mind taking some live callers? The first caller we have on 0800THETHITS is David from Epsom. Welcome, David.

Oh, g'day, guys. Hey, big fan. Thanks for having me. Welcome to come. I think we know. And this is David Seymour from Epsom. Welcome, David. Oh, g'day, guys. Hey, big fan. Thanks a lot for having me come. I think we know. This is David Seymour from Epsom. How are you, neighbour? Oh, look, I just wanted to ask Christopher about your welfare policy. I know these two comedians, and no one liked them,

and they had to get all their funding from New Zealand on air. Okay, hang up on David from Epsom. How much of the $55 million did they get, mate? Well, now they stand on their own two feet on a real radio station. Okay, well, that's enough out of David from Epsom. He's a good man, David Seymour. I regret going to that call now. Christopher Luxon, thank you so much for joining us in the studio.

Appreciate it, guys. good to be with you and all the best for whatever the future will hold oh look it's fun you've got to take the job seriously not yourself too seriously so it's been great and wonderful cameo

from David Seymour there too thanks David you're on the heads Jono and Ben on your Friday morning now I'm going to tell you a story but I'm going to tell it with a certain level

of decor and Barry because I know I'm going to tell you a story But I'm going to tell it with a certain level of decorum Barry Because I know I'm wary of what time of the morning it is People are having breakfast and stuff But I think this story needs to be shared Okay, story making me nervous Good, great Peak nervousness

So I was talking to a lady Who You talking to anyone? Oh, that's enough. She has a friend, her best friend. The council were in her street

and they were unclearing the sewer pipes. The sewer pipes had been blocked up. They were doing some maintenance on them and I think, I don't know how they do it, but I imagine there's some sort of pressure situation which sorts out the clogging.

Right, they don't have a big giant plunger. They're just pumping it up and down. Like an Acme one from Roadrunner. And all of a sudden they're upstairs and then they hear kaboosh. Oh no.

Oh no. They've struck oil. They've struck oil. And they're rich. So they clamp it. And it comes powering through like a torrent through their toilet. So it's just shooting up. And the lid's clearly not down to stop it.

It can't stop it. It's coming through the entire neighbourhoods. Oh, no. It fills up their whole bottom level. I love how you're like, I'm aware people are eating breakfast and we're going to have some decorum when I tell the story. This is not decorum. Holy heck.

They are in there. You know when they say you're up the creek Without a paddle The creek is in their house Imagine if you were Sitting on the bathroom At that Just shot into the roof Oh no

Ew Like a scene out of The latest Jackass movie So they've been Living in a The council was very kind To put them up In a hotel for a week

They're like Hey Okay We'll We'll get the rug doctor out or something. Are the jet parks available? We can get you

in a room there. So they're getting their place deep cleaned but for me, that's a burn down the house situation. Isn't it? Yeah.

Could you even, could you be like, even the deep cleaning would have, it would have got everywhere. It was flooded. Like you couldn't, if you walked down,

you would have been up to your shoulders in it. Really? Oh, yeah, it is. No, I've dreamed of an indoor pool, but now. Yeah, you're right. It's a lock your door situation and never come back, isn't it? It's like, what happened to that?

I don't know. Or put it on the market and everyone stays quiet. Hey, very shortly, we're going to talk about the lies you told as a kid Because you were also spouting lies when you were young as well Yes, it's continued through my adult years About what your parents did for a job We'll find out what Jono said next, it is The Hits Now Annie and Jon, the parents, they're from Christchurch

And Dad used to be in the Air Force So he knew a few military people, right? And he was telling us a story, he was telling Oscar a story, which he used to tell me when I was a child. His friend was walking through the forest with a whole bunch of soldiers, and they kept walking along,

they were marching through the forest, and they'd step over this big log. And then his mate was a bit tired, and he said, I'm going to have a rest on this log. And he sat on the log, and the log started breathing. Was he in the Lord of the Rings? They had been talking trees and that. And it was Peter Jackson the whole time.

And it was an anaconda. I thought it was going to be like another person. He was resting on an anaconda. And then he yells out to his friends above. I thought it was going to be like another person. He was resting on an anaconda. And then he yells out to his friends above. And they have to slowly lift him off before the anaconda starts strangling him to death. Did he have buns, son? Because you know the anaconda don't want none.

I don't think he did have some good buns on him, actually. So that's... That was the lyrics, wasn't it? Yeah. So maybe he didn't have buns, and so he was fine in that situation. Well, when Dad comes over, he's like, who wants to hear Grandad's anaconda story? Everyone's like, where's this going? You think it's heading down a completely different path.

Wow. So great. And then another story he was telling us, too, which he used to tell me as a kid, is they were in battle and his friend was walking through this open area of land and something didn't feel right. So he backed out. And then the next day, the two countries wherever it was fighting, they kind of had signed a

peace treaty. And who knew this? But they have post-match drinks after a war. Like you go and meet up with the other soldiers. It's like a you know the end of a netball game a rugby game you know good good shooting out there good killing guys you know you kind of it's a bit of a debrief and so anyway this guy came up to him and was like hey you were in that clearing yesterday he's like yeah he was like yeah i had a red dot on your head and i was about to pull the trigger oh my god until you walked away he said if you took one more step i was going to pull the trigger

oh my goodness and he was like well i guess this has been a nice conversation i don't know how comfortable i'd be socializing with a man who was about to kill me the day before the day before so yeah feeling was right and it was these and i said to oscar i was like when dad was telling me these stories when I was a child, I had got it into my head that he was an international spy. Okay. I mean, it's a long boat. It's a big leap.

He's kind of working internationally, you know, in this kind of same field. International man of mystery. I'm an Air Force spy. Yeah, okay. Yeah. And then so I've gone to school and i've done an entire speech to the class about how my dad is they're asking all sorts of questions like has he got gadgets like yeah he's got gadgets

should see all the gadgets we've got in the garage so many gadgets they're like can you play with the gadgets i'm like yeah and it was just a big lie that went on for years until I think one of the students came up to my dad who was picking me up from school. He's like, you're the spy. And he had a very confused look on his enderconner. So what we want to know this morning, I don't know if it's on the hits or 4487 on the text,

did you tell any lies when you were a kid? Imagine a lot of kids would around their family saying what particular their parents did what their cousins did who their cousins are is always a good one you're related

I'm related to such and such oh there was a period through the 90s where everyone's cousin was Jonah Lomond yeah I couldn't lie about my parents

because my dad was the principal so you know I couldn't say he did anything like being a spy or anything like that but maybe you've got but he could give you detention exactly if you've got a better story Dad was the principal, so I couldn't say he did anything like being a spy or anything like that. But he could give you detention. Exactly.

If you've got a better story, I'd love to hear from you this morning. 0800 The Hits is our number. We'll do that next. Jono and Ben. I want to know this morning, what lies did you tell as a kid, particularly about your family? I imagine our kids probably lie about their parents and say they're not Jono and Ben. Yeah, I think my kid goes to school and says his dad's Gary McCormick.

A lot of people texting through, and I think to me back in the day, a common occurrence where people would say they were related somehow to the Milky Bar Kid. Oh, jeez, we placed a lot of weight on the Milky Bar Kid back in the day. Now, the Milky Bar Kid, you're looking at us with glazed over eyes. Yeah, yeah. He was a child representative of the Milky Bar confectionery of chocolate. And it was kind of a Western theme, wasn't it?

And it was the role of a lifetime. It was the Chris Warner of the 90s. Like, it was the acting gig of a lifetime. If you could be the Milky... I imagine it was just paid in Milky Bars, too. It was. It paid in diabetes. And every blonde-haired child went for the role of the Milky Bar kid, didn't they? It was said that they were And Every blonde haired child

Went for the role Of the Milky Bar kid Didn't they It was said that They were the kid And you never had enough It was grainy footage And you couldn't watch it again

And you're like Maybe that was And you couldn't No one could fact check you Back then There was no You could just say something And they'd have to take

Your good word for it Even if your good word Was blatant lies And it would spread Through the playground Like wildfire. Like I was just saying before I said

both my mum and dad I just thought it was my dad but I said both my mum and dad were spies. Like Brad and Angelina and Mr and Mrs Smith. They weren't. I think dad was working

for the in IT for the Monaco City Council at the time. So we'll go to the phones 0800 that's if you lied about your family.

Ari. How are you boys doing? Ari, you have the tone of an evil supervillain and I love it. Yeah. Do I? Are you stroking a cat right now? Because you should be. Oh, man.

I've got a little white fluffy dog. His name is Snowy and he's a very good boy. Yeah. Now, Ari, what lies have you told about your parents? Yeah, I said my dad was Harry Houdini because he kept disappearing, didn't he? But, you know, so I was, like, seven years old at the time, was living in England because my dad worked at Vodafone,

and my dad left that job, and we came back to New Zealand. But the thing is I don't remember getting told about it. And so you met up with your dad eventually? Oh, yeah, it was about eight months. We moved to Auckland in April. A few years after moving to Auckland, we found this TV show called Jono and Ben. And, you know, my wife has never been the same since.

I don't know if he's saying, by your tone, I can't tell if it's a positive or negative. Oh, no, I just sound very indifferent to everything. It's all right, you know. Particularly that show. Before I see our show, he was a happy character, but now he's like... We've just made him permanently indifferent.

Ari, hey, love talking to you, mate. You have a great weekend. Cheers, guys. See you, buddy. We'll get Amber him permanently indifferent. Ari, hey, love talking to you, mate. You have a great weekend. Cheers, guys. See you, buddy. See you, buddy. We'll get Amber on from Wellington. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast, Amber.

Lies you've told about your family. Yes, so my last name is Munro, and my granddad used to say that he was Burt Munro. So I would go to school telling everyone that my granddad was the world's fastest Indian. Oh, yeah, because Anthony Hopkins played Burt Munro in that wonderful movie. Yeah. And, I mean, to be fair, you wouldn't know any different. No, no, not until I watched the movie. Yeah, no, Google wasn't a thing back then.

You couldn't have gone, it's his granddad, actually. You couldn't have. Yeah, well, that's the thing. Google is probably stopping a lot of kids these days from lying about their family aren't they but yeah I just had a text here 4487

for many years I said my dad was the All Blacks captain but my lie became unstuck when my dad took me and my friends to an All Blacks game

he wasn't playing on the field he wasn't he wasn't leading the harker coming up very shortly we're doing 28 good deeds in 28 days and we could be helping you out this month.

We'll tell you how on the hits.