Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: We've Discovered That Ed Sheeran Is A Tight-Arse!

Episode Date: June 1, 2021

Hello hello! After we spoke to someone in Methven who had Margot Robbie stay at the end of his driveway, we decided to OPEN THE FLOODGATES (and open the floodgates, we did!) to see the most famous people you guys have spoken to or interacted with. And there were some great stories! We also broke down some of Ed Sheeran's songs, and wow, we've made some discoveries about him. Finally, Ben's family now communicates in a VERY specific way... Definitely not normal! Enjoy the show.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Wednesday the 2nd. What are you opening up there, Ben? Welcome to the podcast. What are you opening up?

This was actually, this is, um... You're wrestling. Yeah, sorry, this is some potato sticks that I was eating before that I bought for the kids at lunches. But actually, just what I found interesting, and this is why I was wrestling it. It's got a fun fact on the front of it. Okay.

And I just went, oh, is that right? Hold on, just before I get involved in this. Yeah. How much fun am I anticipated to have with this fact? No, well, I don't know if you're going to have fun with it, but I found it. I want to Google this now because they say that... On a scale of being made redundant to riding a roller coaster,

where am I sitting on the fun-o-meter? Oh, you're definitely... No, it's not a redundant sort of... But it's not roller coaster fun of, you know, but it's not rollercoaster fun. But it says here that mice don't, well, it says mice like to eat cheese. Nope. They actually like to eat fruit, seeds and grains.

I'm having fun. Well, I don't know if they like fun, but now I want to Google, do mice like to eat cheese? Well, it's been a stereotype that we've cast across the mice community for hundreds of years. Okay, here you go. Research have shown that mice will pretty much eat anything. So yes, mice will eat cheese. But given a choice, though, mice seem to prefer sweeter treats such as fruits or grains.

If a rodent is hungry enough, they may nibble on cheese, but the scent would not lure a mouse to a mousetrap. Interesting. And maybe we've done the same thing with the Irish in potatoes. Maybe they're like, you know, we've got a vast cuisine over here, but everyone's like, oh, Finlay D, potatoes, potatoes. And they're like, guys, yeah, we have potatoes in our diet, but, you know, we eat other foods as well. Yeah, the mice are like, hey, mate, give us something else.

Yeah, they're still giving us cheese. I feel sad when you see those mice being tested in laboratories, don't you? Oh yeah. They go, here's a mice on meth. I'm like, why are you giving meth to a mice? Yeah, well the animal testing's not so much of a thing these days. Have they stopped at all? Oh, I don't know if they've stopped at all, but I think a lot more, a lot more response. Well, they're saying

they've stopped at all. They've got a couple of cheeky little mice getting lipstick on their lips, getting tested by the cosmetic industry. No, no, no. But I don't understand why we needed to test them on animals. Like if the product's for a human, well, the human can sacrifice it.

Put it on a human's lips. You made this and you're like, yeah, I think it's good for my lips. Well, put it on your lips. You do it then. Don't throw a mice under the bus. A mouse under the bus. A mouse is never going to wear it out in the... Yeah, you're right. Exactly. I mean, the mouse looks magnificent with it on.

Don't get me wrong. But that's the mouse's choice. It should be their choice to make. Yeah. They want to put... Yeah, I want to judge myself. Oh, well, then they can go into the mice cosmetic game, you know, where they make, you know, but...

Yeah. Yeah, right. Not for us. If it's for us, we should be testing it. That's a good point. Sure, it seems like a... Yeah, we may lose a few good people along the way, but that's the sacrifice.

They and the scientists would be really sure of their stuff, wouldn't they? Wouldn't they? They'd be like, I'm 100% sure this is going to be fine. Join us on the show today. Well, you already have. You've joined us for this meandering ramble at the beginning of the podcast. We got talking to a lady who irons everything in her household. Oh, really interesting there.

As well as that, we spoke to a lady who was pulled up on stage at a huge concert. By Michael Jackson. Yeah, I was going to try to remember. Yeah, but no, you're right. And it was quite interesting. Yeah. Yeah, she told the story beautifully.

And someone who had a Hollywood celebrity living in a house on their property. That was incredible. What more do you want in a podcast? I don't think anything else. Joe Rogan would be eating his heart out right now if he's listening to this. We spoke to a guy who had a Hollywood A-lister stay at his house

in rural New Zealand. Yeah, because we do the A to Z of New Zealand. We call it different town or city and we're slowly making our way around every town and city in New Zealand alphabetically. And today we got to Mount Hutt and we spoke to someone who had had, yeah, as you say, a Hollywood celebrity staying at their house.

We had Margot Robbie staying with us. Wow! At your house? Yeah, yeah. Nobody wanted anyone to know that she was staying in Messon, so we had this little cottage down the end of our driveway and they said, can she stay? And I said, well, okay. Did you have a conversation with her at any stage while she was there?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She had a little sort of catch-up in the lounge there, yeah. What? How cool is that? Probably of course a Harley Quinn, Wolf of Wall Street, famous actor, Margot Robbie. It's not often you can say I've had Margot Robbie staying at my house. The only cool person I've ever had

stay at my house was Liam Hemsworth and he's not even the good Hemsworth. I'm not going to brag about that. In fact, you never mentioned it to me once. No, it was after Miley as well, so he wasn't relevant in any way. Yeah, I guess you could stay.

I'll help you out, mate. So what we want to open up Is the most famous person You've talked to Because this guy He said she was lovely Margot Robbie Yeah Great house guest

I wonder if she'd be The type of person To make her bed every morning Are you a bed maker Every time I stay At someone's house I always feel obliged To make the bed

The next morning But as I'm doing it As I'm pulling up the sheets I'm like Well they're going to Change these as soon as I leave the house Or burn them probably

In my case As soon as I leave the house Yeah Freaking Robbie Robbie would have made A bed the next morning She would have been A bed maker I'm like well they're going to change these as soon as I leave the house or burn them probably in my case as soon as I leave the house I reckon Robbie would have made a bed She would have been a bed maker I'm sure you're saying it's someone else's house and he spoke fondly of Margot Robbie as well so I imagine it was you know everything was left perfectly Yeah she would be a perfect house

guest better than bloody Hemsworth I'll tell you that much that guy wasn't making his bed in his bed he was like oh Marley stop me I'm like mate mate you're bringing the vibes down on my That guy wasn't making his bed in his room. He's like, oh, Marley, stop me. I'm like, mate. Mate. You're bringing the vibes down in my fuddy here, Hemsworth. So who is the most famous person you've ever spoken to? A chance encounter?

Or maybe they stayed in your house. We don't mind. Do we just want to hear from you on 0800THATS? Now, I was trying to think about this as we were talking about doing this topic. And I was like, well, no one that wasn't forced by means of interview to talk to me yeah because we have been

lucky enough to interview some people over the years to speak to some people you know Hollywood celebrities but they have to be there they're obliged

you've got four minutes with Ryan Reynolds to do an interview about Deadpool you've got Justin Bieber hanging out with you they didn't make the choice to hang out

with us no and it's not free-flowing conversation. It's us grilling them with questions, bad puns, and one line of jokes. Although Justin Bieber was like, oh, we should hang out next time in New Zealand, which was lovely he said that. But I'm like, and both of us afterwards were like, that's never going to happen. I'm so glad I'm associated with you guys now.

But it's never going to happen. It's never going to happen. It was lovely that he said that, but it was one of those things where we were like, we should catch up, you say to someone in the supermarket, and you're like, well, we're not going to catch up. Haven't we said that but it was one of those things where we were like we should catch up you say to someone in the supermarket and you're like well we're not going to catch up

haven't we just done our catching up in the fruit and produce aisle yeah yeah we'll keep in touch we'll go out for a beer well next time Bieber's in New Zealand

we'll be like hey remember there's two weird old guys want to come hang out now mate he'll be like oh no I'm all good

so I ain't heard of the hits the most famous person that you have spoken to so taking interviews aside I think the most famous person that you have spoken to. So taking interviews aside, I think the most famous person we've probably spoken to is a guy called Gary Stiles who kind of had the same name as Harry Stiles. He was a lovely guy. So 0800

the hits. Let's get these texts on. 4487 as well. We'll see how famous we can get, okay? Anything's better than Hemsworth. I've set the bar low. Slander. The phone lines have lit up. Of course the text's coming through Some amazing people coming through You know

It's one of those radio topics Where you're like It's a Hail Mary of radio topics Isn't it? Isn't it? We're like It's probably not going to come off But if it comes off

It's going to come off hard Yeah And well It's coming off hard Full board We couldn't even accept Any more calls If we wanted to

Yeah The phone lines are overloaded, so let's get to these calls and texts. Other people calling me getting that, sorry, there's a due to overloading. That's how popular this topic is at the moment. I mean, it's been a winner. I love it.

We haven't even done it. We haven't even done it yet. Just take our word for it. Now we're moving on. It is the head day. So arrogant. So arrogant. We haven't even had any calls.

Well, let's get to some because otherwise we're... Let's start with Rebecca in Wellington. Jeez, you better come to the party now, Rebecca. We've talked it up. We have really talked this up. Who's the most famous person you've spoken to? The most famous person I've spoken to was Scarlett Johansson, actually. Oh, that's good.

There you go. We told you it was a banger. So what abouts was this? Because she's been to New Zealand filming, right? It was in Wellington at one of my old jobs, and I served her on three different occasions. Oh, she must have liked the cafe or restaurant. Yeah, and she was absolutely lovely, like super down-to-earth, gorgeous.

Yeah, just very, she didn't really want to be known. Did she come in with a moustache or something? No, she came in with a cap and everything, one time with her bodyguard and then the next time it was just on her own. Oh, okay. Let me guess. I reckon she would have been an ex-Benny. Yeah, yeah, definitely. Ex-Benny.

Flat white maybe. Maybe a juice or something, like a spirulina or something. Absolutely. No, she was gorgeous. Oh, that's good. Don't you love it when you hear that they're lovely people as well? Yeah, that's what you hope they are because she seems lovely every time you see her in interviews.

Yeah, yeah. Very polite. Very polite, lots of pleases and thank you. I'd have been if she said New Zealand was lovely too, but you know, that's just the perfect guest. Good on you, Rebecca. You're going to have a great day in the capital, mate. Appreciate you listening. See you. Alright, we'll go to Cody. You're on. Nelson, most famous person you've spoken to, Cody.

Hello. How's it going? Hello, mate. Are you listening to the Cody hello mate are you even not you're listening to the show what are you doing who is the most famous person you've ever spoken to mate I managed to meet Johnny Depp around 2008 when you're a kid you've spoken to Johnny Depp yeah I didn't even realize until some of the time one of the people

that were looking after us, they mentioned, oh, that's Kitten Jack Sparrow. And being a little kid, you're like, oh my God, oh my God. Wait, he doesn't look the same.

So whereabouts was this? This was in the States when there's a group called Curriculum and they take a bunch of kids out every now and again. And Johnny Depp came out? Yeah, and we just randomly saw him on the street.

Oh, that's crazy. I don't know how we all feel about Johnny Depp nowadays. We all just go, oh. That was good Johnny Depp years. Yeah, great. Good on you, Cody. That's really cool. Met Johnny Depp at age nine.

And we'll go to Sarah. Welcome from Auckland. Most famous person you've spoken to, Saz. Hey, hey. Well, I haven't actually spoken to this person, but I cuddled him, and it was Michael Jackson. Oh, wow. No.

Okay, you probably should elaborate. Yeah, I know. Well, just hearing about that Johnny Depp thing. So where did you meet Michael Jackson? At his concert. I was pulled up on stage. Oh my goodness. Yeah, they pulled one person up and I was lucky enough.

It was back in the day. It was 95 or 96 or something. And I was just a teenager. And yeah, I got pulled up and gave him a hug and he slow danced with me and it's sounding creepier and creepier. That is pretty cool though. Being a teenager, being on stage in front of all those people. Yeah, you wouldn't be able to beat it.

That is a hell of a... Yeah, I was at Mount Smart, I think. Wow. You would have made the news for something like that, surely. They played it live, actually, and then when he died, well, that's another famous person, I got interviewed by Paul Henry. Oh, wow. Oh, jeez.

Yeah, they got me on The Breakfast Show and talked about it as well, so that was pretty cool. Oh, that's awesome. During the whole time, was he looking at you or was he focusing on the man in the mirror asking him to change his ways? Here we go. We've got him started. I think he was actually looking at me.

Oh, wonderful. Hey, well, that's very cool, Sarah. Got to meet Michael Jackson before the shaky years. There we go. Oh, yeah. Thank you so much for all your calls and texts Loaded texts coming through If I could just rattle off for them very quickly

Here on 4487 I sat down and had a conversation with Nelson Mandela No way That's so cool How good's that Listen I was in town and someone from the Geordie Shore Kissed me on my cheek I don't know if you want their lips anywhere near you

People from the Geordie Shore And Anthony Kiedis. I don't know if you want their lips anywhere near you, people from the Geordie Shore. And Anthony Kiedis bought my dad's property in the Coromandel. Oh, from Red Hot Chili Peppers. He flew there in a helicopter, and he was awesome. He had a wonderful conversation with him. Oh, there we go. So good. What a winning phone topic it is.

We told you it was big. Ben and Jono call this show Jono and Ben. Breakfast on the Hefts. The Hefts. It just becomes apparent that Ed Sheeran is a master at turning an everyday mundane task into a number one worldwide smash hit.

Like he could literally in that song Afterglow he's like the sun's reflected by the coffee in your hand. He's just staring at someone having a cup of coffee. Oh yeah. It's like he sings, I love that about Ed Sheeran he sings about what he's either staring at someone having a cup of coffee. Oh yeah. It's like he sings, I love that about Ed Sheeran, he sings about what he's either seeing at the time or just regaling it.

Like you'll be telling a story to someone and go, oh yeah, then we did this and we had this thing and we went there. And every song feels like it has Ed Sheeran who's forgotten to hand in a song and then being reminded at the last minute and then just looked at something that's happening in the room around him.

Yeah, or regaling the tale. Galway Girls won. Have you got those lyrics around when he's just saying, just saying things? Including name-checking Doritos, I think he had at one stage. I met her on Grafton Street by the side of the bar. She shared a cigarette with me while her brother played the guitar. I walked her home and she took me inside.

Finished some Doritos and another bottle of wine. So it's Doritos, bottle of wine. I met her at this bar. We did this thing. Just a detailed account of his night out. Yeah. Again, another thing

where the record company's like, hey, have you got that song? It's due in tomorrow. He's like, yeah, I got it. It's coming. It's all about the night out I had last night. We decided,

we delved deep into Ed Sheeran though while that song was playing and another one of our lyrics and it's been pointed out online a couple of times from Castle on the Hill about Ed Sheeran's first kiss. Have a listen to this.

He doesn't reckon he kissed her. I don't know how he was doing or what part of the body he went for. Really, because obviously you were like, wow. Can you please stop licking my knees, Ed Sheeran? And the only thing, the only detail he missed out on that little line was the exact precise time it was a friday night 8 27 it didn't quite fit into the lyrics something else from castle on the hill which is great song but he runs through because it's all about his childhood he runs through all his friends and all the i love this hang out with he startsaming them all. There's a little bit of shaming. One friend left

to sell clothes. One works down by the coast. One had two kids but lives alone. One's brother overdosed. One's already

on his second wife. One's just barely getting by. So then you're hoping he'd be like But I'm Ed Sheeran and I've made it But I'm the successful one Out of our group of friends Do you think he asked his friends

For permission to sing about them in the song? Well I guess he wasn't naming He seems like a genuinely lovely guy No he does But if I was the guy Like if you're singing about me The one's barely getting by I'm gonna know

I'm the barely getting by guy. But you'd be like, yeah, I'm in a song. I'm in a song. I'm in an Ed Sheeran smash hit. Shape of You, another big anthem from Ed Sheeran, big song. But also because he's got a reputation for being quite tight, Ed Sheeran. Frugal, yeah. And this in the song, I think he demonstrates this.

I'm having a first date. We're going out on our first date. You and me are thrifty, so go all you can eat. Fill up your bag and fill up your plate. All you can eat, first date. And then shoving all the spring rolls and the seafood cocktail in a bag. Who'd be the type of guy that would take someone on a first date and use a restaurant voucher that he'd received from a previous time? You're insuring him. Hold on, I've got a 15% off voucher here for Valentine's. Going through the menu. You were Ed Sheeran. Yeah, yeah. I've only got 15% off out here.

Yeah. For Valentine's. Going through the menu. It's my birthday, actually. I should be able to eat free, shouldn't I? She's paying it off. And you were speaking before about Afterglow, the new song from Ed Sheeran, which is a great song,

but I reckon it could be talking about you, Jono. There's a line in there, and I'm like, hey, this song, maybe it was recounting the time that he met you, because he has met you. So have a listen to this. Stop the clocks, it's amazing. Amazing? You should see the way the light dances off your head.

You should see the way the light dances off my head. Yeah. So you're saying that I'm my bald head, my shiny bald head. Maybe you made such an impact on him when we interviewed him that time that he was like, wow, I've got to write that in a song. I think probably just before the song, a record rep came up to him and be like, hey, remember you've got to hand that song in after this interview. He's like, I've got it.

The way the light shines off your head. Well, I look forward to Ed Sheeran's next single, My Mate's F-Post Pin is 9478. Drop it tomorrow. They're proud of New Zealand. Go New Zealand! If only New Zealand was proud of them. Jono and Ben.

New Zealand's breakfast. On the hits. Hey, I heard a very funny story about friends of ours who they got their neighbour's daughter to look after their five-year-old when they went out on the weekend. And they got home to the neighbour, the dad, on a ladder trying to climb onto their balcony. What? It was like 11.30 at night.

What's going on? And what had happened is the five-year-old had locked the babysitter out of the house. Oh, no. So the five-year-old was running rampant. Intentionally locked him out? I don't know. Who knows? Who knows? Five-year-old was running rampant. Intentionally locked him out. I don't know if it was. Who knows? Who knows?

Five-year-olds, they see him and look innocent. They're on a nasty street. So the poor babysitter was locked out of the house. You'd be like, I've been knocking. I've been there. See that? Turn that. And the parents are like, how long has this been going on for?

An hour and a half. Oh, no. And you'd go through the stages of the negotiation process. Come on, let me in let me, let me. No, not listening, you know, sticking Play-Doh in their ears and the remote control down their nappies and you're not wearing nappies at five, are you? No, I don't, no.

Well, I was until I was 16 and you always judge me for that. And then obviously she had to go get her father who was like I'll get the ladder, see if I can break into the house. Because you wouldn't want to interrupt the people having dinner. No, you're like this this is a problem we can sort out. But clearly they could. Over a 90 minute period.

Yeah. And so then they just let themselves in with the key. And I haven't done much babysitting, but I don't imagine that's ideal in the babysitting handbook, being locked out by the kid. No, but I guess you're still technically, you're still getting paid for it? You probably would, wouldn't you? You know, you're still on the clock. Yeah. Oh yeah.

I imagine even the parents of the teenager, have you babysitted Juliet? Yes, I have. I imagine even your parents, when they send you off to babysitting, they're also vicariously babysitting because they're worried that you're going to stuff up. True.

Yeah, that's true. I think that was the case, especially for people that they knew, whose kids I was looking after. Yeah. You're always going to be on high alert, aren't you? Yeah. Yeah, and there's a lot of faith placed by the average person

in randy, tick-tocking teenagers to look after children. Like, they have no experience. No life experience. For people, really, you should be like, hey, yeah, here you go. You're in charge now. If you were to pick anyone in the human species to look after, yeah, I'm going a bloody leopard or something before a teenager.

Safe a pair of hands. Okay, 0800, that's what I opened this up this morning, babysitting botch-ups. Whether it was something that you did when you were in your babysitting years, maybe you were the ones who hired the babysitter. Love to get your calls this morning when it all went bad, babysitting 0800, the hits 4487 But remind me of our friend who was nannying for quite a wealthy family

And she was in the stage of her life where, you know She was in Juliet's stage of her life You know, nothing to worry about You're cruising through life You don't care about any repercussions of any of your actions None of them And one of her favourite things would be to, when the kids were sleeping,

was to sneak into the ladies' cupboard and try on all of her Louis Vuitton and Gucci clothes. Like a little fashion show sort of thing. Have her own little fashion show. Yeah, be like one of those montage scenes in a movie. Yes. And unfortunately, the mum came home on time as she was in one of her ball gowns. There's a low moment in any nanny's life.

I'll just show myself out. Pretty much that was it. And the audacity to think she could put her legs into this lady's pants and dresses. But we'll go to Rewa in Hamilton. Welcome, Rewa. How are you? I'm good, thank you. Lovely to have you on Babysitting Botchups.

What happened? Oh, so about a week before Christmas, we lived rural, and there was a pub that had this local band, and I was quite well-known. So there was about eight of my cousins, and we all had kids. So there was about eight, ten kids, little kids. And we got, okay, so we got my daughter, my son, and my two cousins, other little cousins to look after them.

And we all went to the pub, you know, our cousins, like, you know, yeah, that's doing good hands, and then we're partying, you know, good at the pub, and then I realised, geez, I need to go and see you. I go outside, I go outside into the car park, you know,

into the bush. Yeah. And I look up, and then just in the distance, I see my uncle's truck, which has got no rego, no warrant. And I was like, oh, my God, there's my cousin. And I run back in the pub, and then I text them out, you know, how's the kids and all that, and they think good. And then I took a photo, and I said, that's you, fellas. Oh, they're all on a joyride in your uncle's car.

Yes, and they returned my wallet over the table while I was gone. My favourite part of that story was, oh, I need to go and have a spew. Oh, it happens sometimes. All of us, hold the line, we want to send you out something. All right, Jane, you're on from Wellington babysitting bot shops. What happened for you? Oh, well, when I was about 21, I believe, my boss at the time asked if I could look after their son.

And so I was like, yeah, absolutely. And I show up and his son is 18. Oh, Jane. What? That's probably quite wise on their behalf. is 18. Oh, jeez. That's probably quite wise on their behalf. Do you have any authority over an 18-year-old? No, and I have my suspicions that I think it might

have been more of a set-up date situation. Oh! Not like stop-and-party situation, but actually, oh, right. Yeah. Did you hit it off with the kids you were meant to be babysitting? No. Bonus was you got 40 bucks, maybe.

Yeah, so it turned out well on my end. If you did actually start dating, it's an interesting story to navigate when people go, how did you first meet? Yeah, I was back there. Yeah, weird. Jessica, you're on from Tauranga. Morning.

How are you? Hi. Baby. Hi. Babysitting botch-ups, Jess. Yes. So it wasn't actually my botch-up. So this was when I was younger.

I was like 17. And the parents came home quite drunk. Yeah. And they well overpaid me. They paid me $200. Wow, nice. For this over generous gesture. And did you take the money?

Well, I sort of like was thinking about it and then I told my mum the next morning and she actually made me go give half of it back. Oh, that's lovely. Don't you hate it when your parents do that? They're like, I've got to teach you a valuable life lesson. Yeah. My mum made me this. She was like, you've got to teach you a valuable life lesson. Yeah. My mum made me this.

She was like, you've got to go and take that 42-inch TV back to Noel Leemings. And I'm like, well, I accidentally took it out the door. It was only last week, actually, she taught me that lesson. But well done, Jessica. Thank you for your call. Cheers, guys. And well done to you, New Zealand. You know, hold your head up high.

That was a wonderful radio topic. It was a lot of fun. It was a lot of fun. They need to talk words and stuff into a microphone. It's New Zealand's breakfast. Jono and Ben on the hits. Our household at home is quickly becoming a notes family. What do you mean a notes family?

It started off probably a year or two ago. I'd often make lunches for the kids when we were working afternoon. So I would sometimes put a little note in their lunchbox from time to time. And then recently my daughter has been putting little notes in my lunchbox. So she packs your lunch, just to the back story of this, Indy, your nine-year-old. Yeah, yeah. She packs your lunch every day. She loves taking lunch and doing that.

So she'll put a little note, a little inspiration. Well, I love you, sort of note, have a great day, which is lovely. She's assumed the role as the CEO of the household, your nine-year-old. So it's gone from a lovely place, but now it's gone into some more passive-aggressive notes around the house. Just, you know, like there's a cupboard at home with a note now my wife's gone, if you take something from this, put it back. You know, that's like a cupboard, you know, it's got all the sort of stationery, you know, bits and pieces. So, yeah, I was like, oh, okay.

And then the other night I went... Who do you reckon that note was zeroed in on? You? Me. Yeah. Because you like to – what you also like to do is you like to pile things. Put things in piles. I do.

I like to out of sight, out of mind. I'll put it back at the cupboard, but probably not in the right place. And then the other night I came home after, you know, a few drinks. Out of sight, out of mind. That's what he says about his family when he's on the road. And he gets a very serious note when he returns home but I came home um yeah I've had a couple of drinks with some mates the other night and I found in the fridge there was a burger it was like a gift sent from the leftover

gods you know like and I thought maybe that was for me so I ate that burger and not finding out till the next day I was thought my wife was going to take it to work that next you know so now we get notes going this is mine for lunch tomorrow please leave are you living in a flat or a workplace kitchen it feels like it so now everyone's just seems to be once you sort of open the note floodgates everyone starts like don't forget I got this thing tomorrow don't forget you know we just got notes the only one winning out of this is the post-it Note Company. You're just rattling on through them. But the thing with notes, too, is when you start notes, everyone else feels obliged to reply with a note. Yeah, exactly.

So now it's sort of carried on. Yes, I remember. Thanks for that. You feel like you need to reply in note form. Do you talk to each other? Well, I think that's the thing. Our schedules are all over the place, and we've been away a lot. So I think it's become,

you know, it's better for everyone that we just provide notes. You communicate through notes. I remember the funniest one. It was, this is when one of my daughters said it was really little. I went to the bathroom

and Lotus on the toilet roll, on the whole roll, she was writing all over there and she'd written the lyrics to one of the Disney songs all on the toilet roll. And it was Frozen. Frozen at the time, she was a big fan of Frozen.

It was Let It Go, all the lyrics to Let It Go. Very appropriate. Which she actually did. It was like, don't hold it back anymore. Let it go, let it go. And I'm like, well, actually, there could be Frozen-themed toilet paper. Maybe that's what Elsa was singing about.

She might have been constipated through that whole movie. And I was like, oh, maybe this that whole movie. And I was like, oh, maybe this is, yeah. So I was like, well, it's very appropriate. Yeah, yeah, nah. Yeah, nah. Yeah, nah.

The whole movie. Yeah, nah. She'll be right and at the end of the day, Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. The A to Z of New Zealand. Something we do on the show

is we call a different town and city in New Zealand and we're making our way around every town and city in New Zealand alphabetically. Yes, today we're off to Middlemarch and Middlemarch, even though the 15th of the third month of the year has already

been, it's the middle of March all year round in Middlemarch. Small town in central Otago where they refuse to use moisturiser, instead replenishing their skin with the moisture of an animal they've just hunted. It's an area where you wear the same pair of stubbies all year round even if you go to a wedding or a funeral. And meat and three veg is replaced with meat and three more meats.

And we're joined by James from Middlemarch. Welcome Jimmy. G'day. James is good enough. Mark, don't call him Jimmy. It's just James. We've got a few jmys in Middlemarch. Oh, does it get confusing if there's too many Jimmys? Down the road they have Jimmy's pies, actually, but we won't go there. Were you a Jimmy when you moved to Middlemarch and you had to rebrand as James? Always been a James.

Don't deviate. No, don't do that. Don't try and give him some fancy big city-slicking nickname. Actually, you guys sound a bit dodgy. Where are you from? Oh, the best city in New Zealand, Auckland. Don't say that, John. Love it.

You want to come up here and sit in traffic with me? No, no. Been there, done that. Actually, I used to be in North Island, but I saw the light and moved south. So tell us what's so good about Middlemarch. Well, where do you want me to start? You look out the window of our wonderful cafe and the sun's shining

and there's no snow up on the rock and pillars, so it's a good day to be here. Yeah, right. Now, where is it exactly for us Aucklanders who are too smarmy wandering around in our boat shoes? Inland from Dunedin. We're 80km from the Octagon. Ah. Now, you're at the Kissing Gate Cafe. Kissing Gate Cafe, the best cafe in the country. Oh, the country. He's thrown out the country.

Because we've got a few cafes in Auckland, you know. Yeah, I know, but no, they don't do a quaddie short black like they do in Middlemarch. Hold on, a quad shot short black? A quaddie, yeah. A quaddie? I've never had a quaddie. I've had triples. Oh, that's okay.

Have you been awake since 2019? Oh, I had one before I go to bed, actually. But you have had four shots of coffee before you go to bed? Yeah. So how many quaddies are you having a day? No, I normally peak out at two. Oh, that's a lot. That's still eight shots of coffee.

Oh, jeez. I thought we were having a few coffees here, but that's all right. So next time we come through Middlemarch, we've got to go to the Kissing Gate Cafe and have a quaddie. Yeah. Gee whiz, you must have Middlemarch pinging. No, Archie's a good little place. Right, and there's a little secret, a little secret about the town.

If we ever go there, we must try something, do something, talk to someone. Oh, no, just come along and watch a game of rugby. Come to the Domain. We've got a good little rugby team someone? Oh, no, just come along and watch a game of rugby. Come to the Domain. We've got a good little rugby team here. Oh, nice. And a good Central Otago rail trail. Is that what it says? Oh, yeah.

Well, that goes without saying. Oh, yeah. Okay. Good, good. Goes without saying. Doesn't even have to bring it up, James. No, you're right. No, even there's a lot of Jeffers down here that do it.

They've got those little electric batteries in there now, so they don't even have to pedal. And for those that don't know, what does Jeffers stand for in Middlemarch? We don't mind Jeffers coming down here. They normally tip their pockets out before they leave. You've got to stop calling them Jeffers. More of them might come. Another friendly Aucklander.

That's right. That's what it stands for you're right James also the ball we've heard about the ball which goes without saying well actually a good friend of ours

she hooked up and found love and now she's settled in with a 1500 cow dairy farmer and a couple of kids so oh that's good

that was the singles ball they used to run out of middlemarch we have it every second year oh very good and what are you? Are you a man on the market, James? Hell no.

No? All right. He's got his quad coffee on hand, and he's keeping everyone in line. Well, it's lovely talking to you, James, and it sounds like a beautiful part of New Zealand we live in. Yeah, we've been a bit dry, but we've had a bit of rain. Such a big farming community there and reliant on them. Yeah, we're all farmers out here and look out for each other.

All right, we'll come and have a quad coffee and take ourselves off to the cardiac unit afterwards. No, no, you walk it off, you walk up the hill or bike out of town and you'll be ready for another one. Just walk it off, mate, walk it off. Good on you, James. Nice talking to you. Righto, boys.

Hey, thank you for your time, mate. Do you want me to hang up now? Yeah, you. Walking off. Good on you, James. Nice talking to you. Righto, boys. Hey, thank you for your time, mate. Do you want me to hang up now? Yeah, you can hang up. We'll hang up and we'll let you get on with your life. Okay. Go the Highlanders. Oh, we'll hang up on him now. Jono and Ben on the Hits Breakfast.

Friends of Skinny. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh.