Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: What Are The Latest "Boomer Rumours" Floating Around About Clarke & Jacinda?
Episode Date: February 20, 2022We spoke to Denise who gave us some tea on Clarke and Jacinda. Was it a far fetched Boomer Rumour? Maybe. But it's our new segment, and we even got political reporter Barry Soper on to fact check! We ...also caught up with Winter Olympic gold medalist Nico Porteous after his epic win in the Freeski Halfpipe over the weekend. Finally, we spoke about the things you've done a 180 on. With Ben, it's magpies, with Jono, it's Tiktok. Enjoy the show!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Birds with the Jono and Ben podcast.
Welcome along to the podcast, 21st of February.
Ben, how was your weekend, alright?
It wasn't too bad.
Yeah?
It wasn't too bad.
Get some stuff done?
I know you like doing stuff.
I was working on Saturday.
I was meant to be working both days.
Oh, you were commentating on the cricket?
Yeah, I was meant to be working both days.
Now those who are big fans of the podcast will know it's been a lifelong dream of this
little boy to...
Thank you for getting me on there, Jono.
...commentate on cricket on ACC. Ever since we came
to the company
it's owned
it owns the
Alternative Commentary
Cricket
Collective
Collective
Yeah
Collective
and you've
you know from day dot
since we started
at this company
like I love cricket
I want to be involved
and they've snubbed you.
They have.
It's been two years
of snubbing.
Even though I've been
mates with the
you know the guy
who runs Mike Lane
you know G Lane
he runs the ACC.
He gave you, whenever it was brought up,
he would say, that's good to know.
That's good to know.
Whenever you get a that's good to know in this industry,
there's no fucking way you're doing this.
Well, they got me on once.
We'll see if they ever get me back on again,
but I feel like it was just, you know.
How was your cricket?
Because I know you're a cricket aficionado,
and they do, they swerve off in conversation.
They definitely do.
Some of the stats and figures that I brought along weren't used, you know.
You're like, did you know this is our 13th maiden over?
You had everything.
You want to be a cricket commentator.
And they're talking about infected body parts, you know, diseases.
How are you handling this in your commentary?
Oh, no, it was fun.
It was fun.
It was definitely like it was just kind of working out where you fit in,
you know, and where things kind of go.
And obviously it's not my gig, so on this show I can kind of try
and steer things.
John goes a little wayward.
We're like, oh, we'll pull it back.
But in this I'm like, well, I don't know.
You're along for the ride.
Straight yourself in.
Yeah.
Along for the ride.
Straight yourself in for some nervous laughter.
Yeah, exactly.
You want cricket commentary with nervous laughter?
Well, then we've got that for you.
So do you have to do the whole game?
No.
Well, so there was a test match, which only went for three days, this one.
I was doing day three.
And so you do like four overs at a time.
Then someone else would cake over.
And then you come back in a bit later.
Oh, what do you do when you're not commentating? You're just
bantering with people off backstage?
You can watch a bit of cricket, you can go to the bathroom,
you can get a coffee, you can kind of sit around,
check your phone, that sort of thing.
Four overs on, four overs off.
Is that how commentators work? Well, that's how they were working
there, but then the ball-by-ball commentator,
well, not me, but that was Jason Hoyt or Mike Lane
on Saturday, was they would do eight overs
and the two other people doing the sort of banter around would sort of rotate. It was me, yeah that was Jason Hoyt or Mike Lane on Saturday, was they would do eight overs. And the people, the two other people doing the sort of banter around
would sort of rotate.
It was me, yeah.
Yeah, it was fun.
It was fun.
I enjoyed it.
You don't actually think about who's on commentating.
You just listen to it, don't you, when you're listening to sports?
Yeah, but they've got a little system.
They've got a system, too.
Yeah, a system of like, but then halfway through, I'm like,
I still meant to be here, mate, you know?
Someone would.
So ball-by-ball commentator, he's the linchpin.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And what are you? Are you a comments guy? Are you a but you're a comments guy you're a stepping in and stuff i don't really know what it was to be honest
but we named all sorts of interesting 11s and you know you talk about your random stuff that
pops up and some conversations are good other times it's and i guess the thing is because it's
not radio it's commentary at the top half the time they're not commentating on the ball-by-ball stuff anyway
because you can see what's happening.
Where is it on?
Is it on radio?
Spark Sport.
So if you get Spark Sport, you can get the cricket commentary.
You can get two options.
It comes up on your screen.
It comes up with the Spark Sport.
They're not paying for this, buddy.
The Spark Sport commentators.
Or you can get the alternate commentary.
You just click on and you can decide what you want to listen to.
What a great thing to do.
I was glad you got to live out your dream.
Hey, man, thank you.
You helped me live that lifelong achievement there.
But I don't know if I'll be back, but we'll find out.
I'm sure you will.
I'm sure you will.
Well, another one of Ben's lifelong dreams is to host a Monday morning radio show.
And he got to fulfill that dream this morning.
How was it?
Oh, it was up there.
Tell you what, we've just come back from a meeting across the road with our boss sitting
outside at a cafe.
You and I were dead in the sun.
The sun reflects off the glass windows of the building and just pounds into your skin.
Like just drilling into your skin.
I can feel the melanoma cooking on my skin right now.
It was a nine o'clock meeting, so it wasn't, it was like, oh, the sun won't be there.
But it was harsh.
It was. And I was like, let's wrap this, was harsh. It was. And I was like, let's wrap
this, even though the meeting was good, I was like, let's wrap it up.
I was sweating. Yeah.
Wouldn't look good because it was our boss
and they'll be looking at us going, those guys are sweaty and nervous.
Yeah, why are they so nervous?
It was very hot, it was very hot. Yeah, it was, it was.
So enjoy the weather today. You have a
great day and enjoy the podcast.
We speak to Nico Porteus too, by
the way. Gold medal winning winter
athlete.
Fresh from a weekend of fun
and frivolity. It's a distant memory
now. It's business time, Ben, okay?
Knuckling down. One of us had a birthday
over the weekend. I didn't know about it, Ben,
did you? No, I didn't.
No, it was all of a sudden it was a text
from producer Behumps on Saturday going,
Happy birthday, Juliet.
Yeah.
Happy 13th birthday, Juliet.
Yes, I'm a teenager.
So how was your birthday?
It was very good.
It was lovely.
I got my nails done with mother in the morning.
And then as I was leaving the nail salon, I missed. You get your nails done a lot.
I don't usually get them done.
I usually just do them myself.
And then I chipped it.
Every woman's worst nightmare just after you get your nails done.
What do you do?
A bit of a patch-up job on that?
Oh, I've just left it.
Do you want me to get the roller out?
Yeah, yes, please.
So how many close contacts did you create over the weekend?
Probably quite a lot.
Oh, good.
No.
Although now I feel like we're checking out a little bit on close contacts, you know,
in New Zealand.
Yeah, it's hard, isn't it?
Seems to me if you've got, I don't know.
It feels like the rules change every couple of days. Yeah, I know. I New Zealand. Yeah, it's hard, isn't it? Seems to me if you've got, I don't know, it feels like the rules change every couple of days.
Yeah, I know, I know.
But no, it was good.
Went out for lunch, did a bit of shopping,
and then partied all evening.
Yeah, right.
So I felt a little bit too wasted.
And now you're just no good to anyone this morning.
I'm very tired.
I've had my coffee, but I'm here.
Well, while you're celebrating your youthfulness,
my teeth fell out.
Wow.
Polarizing situation.
My mouth at the moment.
I just want to rip my teeth out.
You're having some real dental issues, aren't you?
Oh, my God.
Ongoing.
And so my tooth chipped that I had the root canal in.
I was eating a burger on Friday night.
It was like, and it got crunchy bits, you know, and you never want crunchy bits in your
meat.
And I discovered it was my tooth that had fallen out.
So, yeah, some had gone into my system.
So some's in there, so I don't know what's going to happen to that
or how that's going to emerge.
You're falling apart.
I am going to emerge.
Yeah, so I had to deal with that.
I had to get an emergency temporary cap on it.
Holy hecka.
You know, fun times.
I imagine that's not cheap too either, like an emergency.
It's not cheap.
And the fun thing was because I'd had a couple of drinks
and then Jen's like, oh, I've got some,
you might want some tramadol because I was under some pain.
And wow, that's a ride.
I felt like a rhino that had been shot with a tranquilizer dart.
She's like, you're going to be falling asleep soon.
And it was like, you know, when you set a timer and you have to get everything done before you're out.
And she was right.
She was running around cleaning dishes, making beds.
And boy, when it hit, it hit hard.
And I just collapsed in slow-mo like Will Ferrell on old school, you know, and he's
like, whoa, boom, onto the floor.
And because we have family sleepovers on Friday nights, so the, aka the family are in the bed and I'm just lying on the floor because we have family sleepovers on Friday night aka the family are in the bed
and I'm just lying on the floor
and I was just passed out like a zombie on the floor
and they woke me up and I apparently
rose my arms slowly and went
at least
they had an excuse this Friday night
next on the show
the news and beeps actual news headlines
from around the world a word has beeped out
we got a wee taste?
We don't yet.
I'm getting it ready during the song.
Don't you want to taste?
You don't taste anything right now, buddy.
We'll find out.
We'll find out.
All together next.
It is the hats.
You got Jono and Ben.
Kia ora.
I'm Rachel Jackson-Lees, and this is the B*** News.
It's been voted nine times winner at the New Zealand Radio Awards
for the most tedious news segment.
Juliet, how does this work?
I found some headlines from around the world,
beeped a few words out.
You guys have to guess what the correct headline is.
And your first news story?
Island where visitors...
is one of the last COVID-free places on Earth.
I'm going to think it's an island where visitors swim in hand sanitiser.
And it's next to the Greek island of Santorini.
It's called Hand Santorini.
That's a new island you haven't heard of before.
That sounds like your heaven.
So you can take a quick dip in a pool of hand sanitiser.
I can imagine you doing backstroke and you know how you squirt water out of your mouth.
You'd be like that with hand sanitiser if you were and you'd be loving it.
I'm going to go island where visitors don't actually hate the government
is the last COVID-free place on earth.
Island where visitors risk death
is one of the last
COVID-free places on earth.
So it's an island
in the Indian Ocean
called the North Sentinel Island
and it's very unlikely
to have been hit by the virus
due to its sparse population
and what they call
kill on arrival approach.
So basically there's a tribe
there that fiercely protects their land and a couple of years ago um a couple two people went
and visited to try and convert the people who live there to christianity and they never returned
and so because they're so protective of their island so are they like welcome you look a little
sick have you got a runny nose?
See ya.
That's it.
Wow.
And that's how you get rid of COVID.
Yeah.
The next news story.
Football fan spends a whole year getting...
I'm going to say
he was a Man United fan
and he spent the whole year
trying to get the red dye
out of his white business shirts.
As he washed them together.
I'm going to go say
a football fan spent the whole year
figuring out how after 90 minutes the score can still be nil all.
Yeah.
Football fan spends a whole year getting beloved team's shirt
tattooed on his torso.
The whole shirt?
So it almost looks like, you know when you see people
who have got body paint on them?
Yeah.
It kind of looks like that, but it's a tattoo.
Oh my goodness.
And he visited the tattoo parlor over the course of a year to get it finished.
His whole chest is shaded basically black and red.
And it's for a football team that he loves in Rio.
And so he's like, I never have to buy a shirt again if I'm going to support them
because he just goes shirtless.
Well, let's hope that they don't change their colours
because, you know, sometimes their teams jazz it up from season to season.
It looks like, you know, when the All Blacks wore
an extra tight shirt
to the Rugby World Cup.
It looks like Dan Carter in a tight shirt,
doesn't it? Yeah, it's very well done though, isn't it?
It's disturbing.
Yeah, it would hurt a lot.
And as the news and beeps for you this morning, short and sweet.
Next on the show,
a couple of famous people worldwide have got COVID.
We'll fill you in next.
It is the hits.
You've got John on, Ben.
Scrolling through your feed.
Now, hand you over to the only journalist whose daily inspiration is Dwayne the Rock Johnson.
Ben, what's happening in the news?
Well, yesterday, 2,522 COVID cases in New Zealand, our highest.
Every day, it seems to be record-breaking numbers.
So these are new cases compared to what the number was the day before?
Yeah, these are just the 24-hour number.
Right, so we'd be up to nearly 20,000 cases, wouldn't we now?
I think it'd be overall.
Good numbers.
And overseas, Justin Bieber and the Queen.
A couple of famous people overnight that have been... Might have heard of them.
...diagnosed with COVID.
The Queen obviously is a little bit worrying,
being the fact that she's 96 in a couple of weeks' time.
But she's only experiencing mild symptoms at the moment
and is doing some light duties.
I don't know what light duties are for a Queen, but...
Maybe just emails.
Well, we watched her try and cut her Jubilee cake.
She only...
She didn't even cut fully through the cake.
No.
I imagine that's a light duty.
Yeah, you're right.
Half cutting a cake.
Yeah, she didn't actually cut the full cake.
She was like, oh, someone else can finish it off.
Yeah, that's true.
I feel like she's been living a life of permanent light duties.
Yeah.
Do you know someone with COVID?
Yeah, well, I know.
Everyone does now.
Yeah, I do. Omicron does now. Yeah, I do.
Omicron, sorry.
Yeah.
A few people actually now.
Closer and closer.
A lot of people having to isolate and stuff.
It feels like it's, I'm coming.
Every day I'm like, getting closer and closer to me.
Exactly.
And ACC figures from last year show that 59 Kiwis made claims for basically trying to put on a, either folding or putting on a fitted sheet.
59 people?
Something to do with a fitted sheet in the household caused 59 injuries that people have claimed ACC on over the last year.
I imagine a lot of it is the frustration of the fitted sheet, whether you're putting it on or pulling it off or folding it.
And then you start throwing it around in a fit of rage
and end up in a full-body wrestle with it.
It's a tough thing to do.
A lot of them were soft tissue injuries
relating to the spine and back areas as well,
so I don't know, yeah.
Now, that's 59 people who are brave enough
and say what they actually were doing when they got injured.
You know, there'll be a lot that were too embarrassed
to even admit that.
Yeah.
How'd you hurt yourself?
Oh, I was folding a fitted sheet?
Actually, 4487 on the text. No one's
going to text through, but if you have injured yourself
Folding a fitted sheet? While doing anything
involved with a fitted sheet, I'd love to hear from you.
But it's not going to happen. Our number is
4487 on the text. Oh, you're taunting them on a
Monday morning, Ben. Well, it's very, like, I mean,
there's only 59. Then we better say, have you got
COVID? And then you get more people texting through.
Yeah, okay, so 800 that.
Are you one of the 59 people who injured themselves
folding a fitted sheet in the last 12 months?
We'd love to hear from you.
As well as that, we've got our good deed.
What we got up to over the weekend that involved a magpie.
It is the hits.
You've got John on there.
You're essential listening for non-essential banter.
John Owen Ben on the hits.
Now, Matt Owens is a guy, a Kiwi lad,
who basically rescued a magpie as a baby about a year or so ago.
And the magpie basically lived with him and the cat.
And it was so cute.
The video got 40 million views of the cat and the magpie
just hanging out together, would live in the house.
And he basically nursed it back to health. They hung out for
over a year and then the magpie
went back to the wild and he's written a
children's book on it called The Story of Swoop.
Yeah, wonderful story and the cat and the magpie
would be sleeping on the couch
together and the magpie would ride
the cat and stuff. An adorable
stuff. Stuff movies are made of.
Like a Pixar movie or something.
So for the good deed over the weekend, he said,
oh, you know, why don't you come out and you can babysit my latest magpie.
He's got another one now, Zoe.
So we went an hour and a half away from where we are right now.
God knows where it was, Ben.
I still don't know where we went, but it was a wonderful setting,
and we met up with Matt in the park.
Now, so we've got Zoe here.
So how did Zoe come into your life?
Yeah we've got little Zoe.
So I get a lot of people messaging me asking me how to look after birds and etc.
So Zoe, I was approached by a woman called Zoe
and she found her on the middle of the road at night time
and I think Zoe had a sister and she'd been squashed
so she picked her up and so I was like yep sweet as I'm ready for another magpie.
This experience has been quite a bit different Swoop was very quiet and affectionate and whilst this one's affectionate she's also she can be a little bit territorial and she's got a
bit of a wild aggressive side as you guys have already found out well yes sir you did you did
say you're gonna need to park across the road she's just become a bit territorial lately and
then you said ben do
you want to hold the magpie yeah but we got on a ride at the start though we did yeah at the moment
matt's got her cradled upside down in the palm of his hand like almost like a little baby like a
little baby oh there we go oh so cute how do you how do you form a bond with a magpie where you
get to this point i think that you've you've got to raise them, really.
You know, like, they just become very humanised.
And they're very intelligent.
They're incredibly intelligent.
They're just as smart as a dog.
And, like, I'm her dad, you know, so that's sort of all she's ever known.
It's pretty incredible.
You were forming a wonderful bond with Zoe.
Yeah.
But it kept giving me side eyes, like, you bald git, we're never going to get along.
So you ended up cradling her in your hands.
Quite chill, just lying there in my hand.
So Ben's sort of got both of his hands palmed out, and this magpie's lying in it, almost like a baby.
Almost like a baby, like we're babysitting a magpie right now. This is incredible.
So today for our good deed,
you want us to look after Zoe?
Yep.
And so he left us alone.
At the park?
And the thing I found amazing
was that the magpie could fly away at any stage
and it just wanted to hang out.
Yeah, it would like walk along the ground next to you.
It would walk next to you,
but it would attack my feet as we were walking.
But then it almost had a go at me
don't show fear showing fear is fear is my favourite hobby. I always thought at any moment it could strike.
You just come in all, you're like, you know.
I was jittery.
We do the same when we've held cats before.
You're like, I don't know how to do this.
And babies as well.
So we took Zoe to the playground.
You were holding Zoe in your hand.
We said, oh, why don't we go on the swing or a slide?
Do you want to come on here, darling?
Come on here. I feel like we're bonded. You're, why don't we go on the swing or a slide? Do you want to come on here, darling? Come on here.
I feel like we're bonded.
You're bonded.
What about me, mate?
Do you want to come on here?
Yeah, right.
The magpies are loving us.
Well, me.
Hey, OK.
All right, all right, all right.
I'll be out of here.
It was actually an amazing experience because, you know,
yeah, we're a little bit fearful of magpies.
But this is, yeah, this is incredible.
Zoe and Matt, as I said before, he's got a book out it's called the story of swoop the true story of how he helped raise a magpie and send it back to the wild listen i
think you'll be invited back to babysit uh i don't know if i earned my ten dollars an hour
but that's if you want us to do a good deed for you we're doing 28 of them over the month of
february uh you can just text 4487 we We will do anything. We'll probably won't babysit
magpies again, but anything else.
It is a hit. So you've got Jono and Ben.
Two semi-competent dads handing out
semi-competent parenting advice.
Jono and Ben on the hits.
You know, you get sent these little things online
from time to time, tagged in things.
Do you know my son gets really wound
up by them? He's like, I've got to forward this thing
on to 50 people or else I'm going to have bad luck for the rest up by them? He's like, I've got to forward this thing on to 50 people
or else I'm going to have bad luck for the rest of my life.
I'm like, you need to, buddy, or else you will.
So he's frantically sending things on people he doesn't even know.
But I got sent this one on the weekend, and as I read them all,
I was like, oh, this could be Jono.
And it was the quiz on, are you a Bogan or not?
So hit the music, Joey.
And as I read a lot of these, I was like, oh, this is definitely Jono. That's just your new game show, are you a bogan or not so hit the music jerry and i as i read a lot of these i was like oh this is
definitely johnny yeah right that's just your new game show are you a bogan it's like the chase okay
okay you call people champ or legend or give them a nickname are you a bogan johnny fry
i was like this is definitely johnny dressing up normally means putting on a T-shirt and not a singlet.
Yes.
We came in here for work yesterday.
What was I in?
He has a singlet.
And today's my work attire.
I have a T-shirt.
He's got a Snoop Dogg T-shirt on today.
He's dressed up for the occasion.
You say, yeah, no worries, mate, when you let someone merge in front of you and they don't wave.
I'm pretty sure that would be a Jono Pryor thing to do.
Or frantically honk your horn.
Throw a can of Codys at them.
You say it's five o'clock somewhere,
and justifying drinks at any stage of the day.
And when you mow the lawns, you stand with your hands on your hip,
admiring your work.
Imagine afterwards that would be a John O'Brien thing to do.
What's one of your favourite things to do?
Yeah, you've just listed my Tinder profile, Ben Boyce, my biography.
Yeah.
As I read them all, there was plenty more that got sent around.
I was like, oh, these are all Jono.
These are all Jono.
What else is in there?
You buy something for $9.95 and you tell a person to keep the change.
I was like, it's probably something with Jono.
You say, yeah, good chat, mate, when you're talking to someone and they don't respond
and if someone drops something in public
you say I can't take you anywhere when they drop
yeah drop as well
are you a bogan or are you a dad
it feels like the lines are blurred on this test
but in any way
I am answering yes to all of those questions
and he's got a drink
but it is 5 o'clock somewhere,
so he'll be enjoying that.
Hey, we've got some spy entertainment news on the way.
And it's actually him opening a can.
It's a can.
We won't say what's in it.
There's broadcasting standards.
We've got Spy next.
Ed Sheeran is building something very strange on his property,
I'll tell you, Ned.
Spy. Know what you next. Spy.
Know what's up.
Spy.co.nz.
What she lacks in wrinkles,
she makes up for in stories about Kanye
bullying Pete Davidson on Instagram.
What's happening, Ju?
So Taylor Swift is reportedly engaged
to her boyfriend and British actor Joe Alwyn.
They've been dating for about five years.
They've kept their relationship
very, very under
wraps, quiet over the last wee while.
But these are just
reports that are coming out. We haven't seen any
photos so we don't know if there's a ring or
anything but it wouldn't surprise me
if they're engaged. I don't even know if I've even met Jo
Alwyn. No. No, you're right. They have kept it pretty
quiet, haven't they? Yeah, yeah. I think probably
because all of her past relationships
were so publicised. Pretty public.
And I imagine at any stage she's like,
any stage I could write a 10-minute song about you?
Yeah.
You better enable yourself a delight.
He'd be like, yeah, all right, I'll keep it. I'll stay out of the radar.
Jo's main goal is to not have an album written about her.
That's good.
Oh, there you go.
English actor, born in 1991.
Yeah.
Debuted in Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk,
a wonderful masterpiece that that was.
Do you know what?
Have you seen that Instagram page?
It's like siblings or dating.
Have you seen that before?
It's like people close.
They look like siblings.
They look like they could be related.
Do you know?
Oh, no.
Sorry.
I got click baited.
I thought he was the little boy in love actually growing up.
But the article was he was almost the little boy in love actually.
He auditioned for it.
Didn't get the gig.
Oh, damn it.
And Kelly Clarkson is filing to legally change her name to Kelly Breanne.
So Breanne is her middle name.
Clarkson is actually the name, you know, it's her father's name.
It wasn't the name that she took when she got married.
So it is her actual last name.
But she just says that Kelly Breanne more fully reflects who she is.
But that's a lot of admin.
Oh, you've got to change your EFBOS card, driver's license, passport.
It's an old TV show.
She's got a TV show.
Oh, they're going to get new graphics.
Yeah.
They'll be like, mate, do you have to?
Yeah, I know.
So who knows whether that will happen.
Who's Kelly Breanne?
Sorry, Breanne.
Breanne's just her middle name.
Oh, right.
Yeah, so she's just dropping her last name.
Right.
Yeah, and so her ex-hus just her middle name. Oh, right. Yeah, so she's just dropping her last name. Right.
Yeah, and so her ex-husband, his last name was Blackstock,
and I think she might have legally changed her name to Kelly Blackstock,
but privately, but she was known to the public as Kelly Clarkson.
She's tipped to take over from Evil Ellen, isn't she,
in the daytime talk show realm?
Yeah.
Have you seen the Kelly Clarkson show, Ben?
I've only seen little clips online, but she looks like she does a great job. Yeah, she's a chatter. She's like you, Johnna. Yeah. Have you seen the Kelly Clarkson show, Ben? I've only seen little clips online, but looks like she did a great job.
Yeah, she's a chatter. She's like you, Johnna. Yeah. Does it look
fun? Does it look like she could be bullying people backstage?
Or is she...
Who knows? And Ed
Sheeran has gained permission to build a
burial chamber on his
property. So he's building a
church on his property and he
wants to build a burial chamber
underneath the church that can fit
two bodies, which
is very strange. So he's going to get
well at least he's going to like
kill someone and put them there. No, I think it
might be maybe for him and maybe his wife
or something. But he's
got his big estate and I think it's been
named Sharonville because he's doing so much
work to it and it's basically. Tell me you've got butts of money without telling me you've got buttloads of money
Is he married?
He is married
Didn't he build that church to get married in on his estate?
Oh maybe
I think he did
Yeah
That's what you can do when you're Ed Sheeran
Yeah exactly
It looks like a nightmare for the neighbours that property
Yeah I know
It's enormous
It's huge but then at least the neighbours would be far away, you know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No noise control for Ed Sheeran because they're too far away.
And that is your spot update for the South.
For more, you can head to thehits.co.nz.
After seven o'clock on the show,
we caught up with New Zealand's newest gold medal winner
at the Winter Olympics.
Nico Porteus joins us after seven.
It is the Hits.
You've got Jono and Ben.
Rated M for mildly amusing. Jono and Ben on the Hits.. It is The Hits. You've got Jono and Ben. Rated M for mildly amusing.
Jono and Ben on The Hits.
You're on The Hits.
Jono and Ben, thanks for hanging out with us on a Monday morning.
Over the weekend, we hung out with Matt Owens.
He's got a remarkable story.
It's actually a book.
It's called The Story of Swoop.
He raised a little baby magpie that needed some help,
and he ended up sending it back to the wild.
But it was incredible.
They just hang out with the cat.
It became like a little person.
Yeah, the video, 40 million views on the internet.
Have you heard of the internet?
Yeah.
That's a lot of views, Ben Boyce.
So, yeah, the book's out now, The Story of a Sweep.
And both of us heading out there to deal with the magpie.
We both had incidents with magpies previously.
And then we got a call come through to producer Bee Humps.
And he gets off the phone.
He's like, just so you know, over the last 48 hours, the magpie has become very territorial.
This new magpie, Zoe, that Matt has.
So we need to park across the road.
Red flags.
They'll pop up for me then.
And I know you're a little anxious heading into it as well
I'll be swooped on many times
As a kid
You're like oh jeez magpie
So it sort of makes you feel a little bit nervous being around a magpie
They get a bad rap
Don't they the magpies
And you
Ended up cradling this thing
In the palm of your hands
Like you were holding a precious little egg or something.
And it was adorable.
It was so cute.
Quit chill, just lying there in my hand.
I don't know this.
She's your friend now.
So Ben's sort of got both of his hands palmed out,
and this magpie's lying in it just like a,
almost like a baby.
Almost like a baby.
Like we're babysitting a magpie right now.
This is incredible.
It's pretty amazing.
You're just sort of stroking its little feathers
and it's sort of nuzzling into you. I have done a complete 180 on magpies now. This is incredible. It's pretty amazing. You're just sort of stroking its little feathers and it's sort of nuzzling into you.
I have done a complete 180
on magpies now. Yeah, you love the magpie
community. Me, not so much.
If anything,
my relationship with magpies
is I've walked away from there and it's
more torture than it was before.
Nah, she's getting pissed off.
Oh, okay.
Don't get scared, man. Otherwise she'll get you. Don't get scared man Otherwise she'll get you
Don't get scared
Otherwise she'll get you
And the more he said that
The more I got scared
The magpie was giving me
Side eyes
And I was like
Oh but maybe
This is not for us
But you and the magpie
You got along
Like a house on fire
And it reminded me
When you're like
You've got your best friend
And you're at primary school
Then another kid comes along
And gets along better
With your best friend Oh this magpie's awesome We Then another kid comes along and gets along better with your best friend.
Oh, this magpie's awesome.
We want to know this morning, what have you done a 180 on?
Like what were you either into and you're now not into?
Or what did you used to hate and maybe you love now?
Now you're a big campaigner for magpies, aren't you, in the magpie community?
I do. I love it.
Can I throw another one in there, though, that I've done a 180 on?
Public pools.
As a kid, I loved going to a public pool. Like I would
swim all day in a public pool.
Now the thought of going to a public pool.
It's like bacteria, it's a bowl of
bacteria soup, isn't it? As soon as you see
like a plaster floating past
you that's been on someone's skin, you're
like, oh, what am I doing here, you know?
But as a kid, jeez, I
loved a public pool. You don't think twice about it, do you?
And then now as an adult, when you're sitting in a spa pool with 30 other humans,
just going, oh, this is just, there's a lot of skin cells floating around here.
Like as a kid, I remember popping out of the water, having water in my mouth,
and being sitting there with my mouth.
You know when you're like making it sort of like a fountain.
Now you're like, whoa, what was I thinking?
You know, people love it, and it's chlorine, and it's all fine, but it's, you know.
You know, what a, yeah.
But I've done a 180 on public polls.
Yeah, I'm with you on that one.
I'll chuck another one out there as well.
I've done a 180 on TikTok.
Oh, yes.
You know, I publicly, when it first started, tore shreds off Ben Boyce for being on TikTok.
I was like, oh, you're dancing with the 14-year-old girls.
I mocked him so hard he even deleted
his TikTok account publicly.
And now, I'm a huge
backer of TikTok. I'm like, we need
to start a TikTok account. I'm getting
our monthly insights. I'm all
about TikTok. So I'm sorry that I
shamed you out of TikTok. And now,
I'm on there now.
And loving it more than anyone
else. You're like like this is the future
this is definitely it
it's where I like to get
all my vaccine
misinformation as well
official supplier Rob
so what have you done
at 180 on
we love your calls
and texts this morning
0800 THE HITS
or 4487
we've actually got
Matt's book
The Story of Swoop
to give away as well
it is The Hits
tested safe
for listing from home
Jono and Ben
on The Hits it's you, it's not anyone
It's Bieber, anyone, it is the hits
Jono and Ben, 10 past 7
Want to know this morning on I Under The Hits
What have you done a 180 on?
What did you used to either like and don't like now
Or what you didn't like and you like now
Nikki, how are you?
Hi, good, thank you
Yeah, you sound great, what do you do?
I work for a children's charity Oh, how are you? Hi, good, thank you. Yeah, you sound great. What do you do? I work for a children's charity.
Oh, good on you.
We just work for a soulless radio station.
What's your children's charity?
It's called Cool Bananas.
And what do you do?
I look after production of videos and content for online values education.
Well, you know what?
We're going to do 28 good deeds this month.
How about we give you $200?
That would be amazing.
Let's do that.
Okay, $200.
Kick things off.
Is this a donation towards the charity?
Yeah, for the charity.
Yeah, that would be amazing.
Thank you.
I know I would do that.
Nikki, to be honest, we've nailed our foot to the floor
with 28 deeds over 28 days.
So I'm getting a head shake here from our producer, B-Hubs.
Come in here, B-Hubs.
What's going on?
Oh, he's keeping in touch with them.
We've got a budget, obviously, for these things.
Now, do you want to take money away from the children's charity?
What do you want to do?
He's looking flustered.
He's looking flustered.
Sorry, Nicky, that money I've given you, this savage monster might take away.
No, he can't take it away now.
What do you want to say?
What have you spent money on this time?
Children, mate.
Children.
Cool bananas.
It's a charity in Tauranga.
Are you doing stuff like, Nicky, this is where you come in?
I'll use education for children, giving them tools to help them mental health and well-being.
Do you not want to educate children?
Yeah, yeah.
Is that what you don't want to do in life?
It sounds nice.
It sounds nice.
Good job, Johnno.
Good job.
$200 coming your way.
But Nikki, what's something that you used to like
and you changed your mind on?
Roller coasters.
I'm with you on theme parks and things.
For some reason, they have no effect on you whatsoever
when you're a child.
But when you're an adult, they do.
What happened?
I love theme parks in general.
When I was a kid, I used to love roller coasters
and then I went on a roller coaster that went upside down it was like a swinging one
that stayed upside down for a little bit while you're at the top
and while I was upside down a bird flew into my head.
No wonder you don't like them.
Oh, my goodness.
Yeah, that put me off completely.
What, like a seagull or something at full pace?
Yeah.
Are we talking front or back of head?
Front of face.
Oh, face like a seagull. Oh, the bird would have been flying away going, what just happened?
What was that?
The seagull probably doesn't like roller coasters anymore either.
Oh, my goodness.
That's incredible.
Hey, thank you very much for your call, Nikki.
And you hold there.
We'll get that $200 to cool bananas.
Thank you so much.
That's very much appreciated.
Speaking of theme parks, remember the last day at Rainbow's End of the pirate ship?
We were like, we're going to go ride it from start to finish all day.
Because it was the final day of the iconic pirate ship ride, where you get in the pirate ship it's sort of it's a swing we're like we're gonna do it all day come join us
i think it was two rides and you're like i can't do this anymore i'm a motion sick guy
i'm like come on keep it together bro you're like i can't do it like kids go like six or seven times
and you're like i can't do it i get get car sick very easily. Even when I'm driving, I make myself car sick.
Well, that doesn't surprise me.
You're quite erratic.
That day I remember fondly because our camera operators,
they had to be on the boat, but they were looking through the lens
and they were all green.
Yeah.
They were green on the pirate ship.
Because I think even looking through something just kind of changes
your whole perspective and makes you feel more sick.
So we all end up vomiting on the pirate ship for the last day.
What a way to send it off.
A fitting tribute.
Coming up next, he's our latest gold medalist of the Winter Olympics,
Nico Porteus.
There's a new athlete on top of the summit
of men's free ski halfpipe.
World champion in 2021 and now Olympic Champion
Nicole Porteus
of New Zealand
So awesome to see him win that on Sky Sport
and he joins us next, it is The Hits
you got Jono and Ben
You're on The Hits, Jono and Ben
on a Monday morning, it was
New Zealand's best ever Winter Olympics
two golds, one silver, thanks to
Zoe Sadowski-Sinner
and Nico Porteus over the weekend.
He won gold in the freestyle halfpipe for the skis,
and it was amazing.
There's a new athlete on top of the summit.
World champion in 2021, and now Olympic champion,
Nico Porteus of New Zealand.
Very cool.
Just 20 years old, an amazing effort.
And we actually caught up with him yesterday.
He was on a train in China.
And we started, of course, by saying congratulations.
It was awesome to have you on the show.
Thank you very much for having me.
Oh, it's so awesome to talk to you, man.
How's it feeling?
I mean, is it kind of sunk in yet?
Oh, no, not at all.
It's only just really tipped over 20.
Who's that screaming in the background there, Nico?
It's all the crew.
We're just on the train to go watch the gold medal hockey match,
which is pretty exciting.
But yeah, as I was saying, it's only ticked over 24 hours just recently.
So it's still very, very fresh and definitely has not sunken in.
Now, do you have to factor in the gold medal and the luggage when you're coming back through?
There's going to be more weight in your luggage.
You've got an X Games medal.
You've now got this medal.
Do you factor that in?
Oh, yeah.
Pretty much as soon as I got the medal,
my mum called me and she goes,
I'm going to Europe tomorrow.
And she said,
don't you dare take that bloody medal to Europe.
You'll lose it.
So I've actually had to give it to my coach to take that to New Zealand.
Mum doesn't trust you carrying a gold medal around the world.
I don't think – I mean, if I was my mum,
I wouldn't trust a 20-year-old traveling around Europe with a medal.
Speaking of parents, are we going to see one of your parents
doing a sweary live interview on the news, or is it just Zoe's?
I don't know.
That was pretty crack up.
It was very crack up.
We've got a lot of mileage out of that over here in New Zealand, Nico.
Now, because obviously you're in Wanaka and Zoe's from there.
Did you guys grow up together?
Yeah, you know, we've always skied and snowboarded with each other.
And, yeah, we're really, really good friends.
And, yeah, it's been awesome, you know,
being alongside her in these moments of success.
And, yeah, it's absolutely unreal to share these sort of moments with her.
And also sharing the moment with your brother.
I mean, he qualified for the Olympics.
He qualified for the final.
That must have been an amazing experience for both of you.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was.
I mean, to have my brother there look alongside me.
Sorry.
Sorry, that's really loud.
Can I just ask, where the hell are you?
It sounds like you're in the middle of a party,
and we're being a giant inconvenience right now.
It does.
Yeah.
Hold on.
Nico's got on to video.
I'm all in shambles
over here, boys.
Oh, here you go.
Oh, he's on a train.
He's on a train.
Hey!
Yeah, there we are.
There's a whole team.
Now, are you in full party mode?
Just trying to allow you to party?
Oh, I wouldn't say party mode.
I would say celebration mode.
Keep it PC, eh?
We're enjoying ourselves for sure.
We're having a good time.
Well, you deserve it.
You absolutely deserve it.
When you're at the Olympics,
obviously I imagine the stress
and the competition raises up a level
or probably five levels.
Do you feel that or is it just another event to you?
Well, I try to see it as just another event, to be honest.
But at the end of the day, you know, you're standing at the top
and there's the Olympic rings and, you know, Olympic medals are on the line.
And so it definitely does feel like a different event.
But you're just trying to tell yourself that it's just any other skiing event
and you just got to do your thing.
I liked it at the end how you were like, well, I'm a bit cold and a bit sore.
It kind of sounded like me getting up in the morning.
Was it really cold up there on the mountain?
Is that a dumb question?
But is it really freezing?
It was absolutely freezing.
It was minus 30 up on the mountain yesterday.
So it was extremely, extremely cold. Yeah, and it was brutal it was minus 30 up on the mountain yesterday so um was extremely extremely cold um
yeah and and uh was brutal to be honest minus 30 shit i was reading you started skiing at age four
what do you say to other to parents like me and john are too cheap to take our kids uh to the
mountains what do you say to them oh um my parents would probably want me to tell you to not do it
because it's lost them a bloody arm and a leg.
It doesn't look sharp.
It doesn't look sharp.
But, hey, it must be all worthwhile now for, you know, 20 years old.
It is.
It is.
And skiing is amazing.
It's given me so many opportunities.
And I would say to any young parent with kids, you know,
looking to take them to the snow, I'd say just do it
because it's such
a unique experience and especially
in New Zealand. Does the novelty of snowball
fights wear off when you're doing it every day?
Yeah, it sort of does to be honest.
It sort of just annoys me.
They're a lot harder.
They're almost like frozen rocks hitting you.
Yeah, you forget that.
Nico, listen, firstly, you're such a
great ambassador for New Zealand,
both you and Zoe.
At 20 years old, God knows what I was doing.
But, geez, you're far more responsible and growing up than I was.
And we're all so proud of you over here.
And so congratulations to the pair of you.
Thank you very much, guys.
Cheers.
It really means a lot.
Well done, mate.
Cheers, boys.
See you, matey.
Have a good one.
How incredible is Nico Porteus?
Congratulations to him.
Next, we've got
$5,000 up for grabs.
It is the hits. You've got Jono and Ben.
The annoying ones talking between the songs.
Jono and Ben
on the hits.
You know, as we meander through this thing we call
life, every now and then you come across
a human and you're like, you are the all-around perfect specimen. Now this happened to me on
Saturday over at a friend's house and I met a wonderful gentleman from Madrid, from Spain,
called Miguel. Now Miguel, he had his shirt off and every part of his body was tanned.
Trust me, I looked.
There's no part that I didn't leave unresearched.
Oh, okay.
And you're just like, and guess what he does?
He's a chef.
Oh.
And he's like, I must cook for you.
And I'm like, yes, you must, McGar.
He's like, I go and catch the food by myself.
And he goes out and he goes on a stand up paddle board
fishes off a stand up
paddle board
gets the fish
stand up guy
stand up paddle board
it was all there
then he goes to the markets
and gets fresh fruit
and produce
he's like I will make a feast
you know he does it
with his arms too
he like waves his arms
I'm like jeez
I'll just go to Pagans
and get fish fingers
and frozen big sweet cheese
but just there's some people out there who are just So he like waves his arms I'm like Sheesh I'll just go to Pagan's And get fish fingers And frozen McSweet cheese But just
There's some people out there
Who are just
Ticking all the boxes of life
Surf's
Chef
Takes his shirt off
You know
It would be illegal
For this man to wear clothes
Yeah
You know
You don't want to keep clothes
On that type of person though
Right
Yeah
No
Have you ever come across
Anyone like that
I'd say uh
remy who works upstairs oh the frenchman yeah and he like he's the champagne guy you know he's from
the place where the champagne was invented or something yeah yeah like he can open like the
champagne with the saber with the sword and it's just like yeah just like a better person all
around well we all start the same.
How come we can't all end up like that?
You know, those sorts of people.
If we all perish for whatever this pandemic is,
they need to stay and procreate.
They need to restart.
Have a race of just perfectly beautiful people.
Remember he came in and he showed us,
without a word of a lie,
he was opening a bottle of champagne with it,
like a sword, but it's not on top of it.
I mean, I couldn't even open one of those little juices on the plane.
You remember you used to get those with the little tinfoil thing.
I'd spill that all over myself, you know.
This guy's using a sword on champagne.
It's incredible.
That juice was inconvenient, though.
It was.
It stopped in the water.
They had like that as well on the plane.
It was like a prank for me in New Zealand.
See if you don't get this on your crotch.
I could not get that
thing open
it was my drinking
problem
yeah there we go
so those are perfect
people and he even
does these like I
also do a capoeira
that weird dance
fighting thing you
know the Brazilian
dance I was like
jeez
we've got $5,000
you're in love
you haven't even
met him
five grand five
words it's coming
soon it is the hats You're in love with him and you met him. Five grand, five words. It's coming soon.
It is the hits.
For $7.45 each day we play this game,
five words for $5,000.
A simple game of word association.
If you match five words without five words,
you win five grand.
Let's get Anna and Tommy on the show.
More Anna, guys.
How are you?
Hello.
Good to have you on.
Anna and Tommy, age nine.
Coming in as a mother-son combo, are we?
Coming in as a duo.
Tommy has been listening for the last two weeks.
He thinks he's got it nailed.
Oh, he's coming up with some confidence.
Love it.
Now, you know how the game works.
You've got to match five words with one of us.
And it's a lot.
I've been put in the booth.
I was counting over the weekend seven times in a row.
And I've been a monumental disappointment every single one of those times.
And it stays with us for the day, Ben, doesn't it?
It does.
It gives you a heavy heart for the remainder of the day when you don't win $5,000.
So that being said, who do you want to send into the SPB this morning?
Can we do Ben?
Ben, yeah.
That's right.
Ben will give it his best.
Oh, it's a Monday.
He'll probably give it 65% to match five words with you.
Anna and Tommy, let's do it.
Feeling good, Tommy?
Feeling good?
Yeah.
All right, matey.
What are you doing today?
You're going to school, are you? Yes good? Yeah. All right, matey. What are you doing today? You're going to school, are you?
Yes, I am.
All right.
Well, let's win you $5,000.
Snickers.
Bar.
Word number two, ruler.
R-U-L-E-R.
Oh, a lot of thinking going on there
Tommy, any thoughts?
Come back to that one
He's playing a tactical game here, Tommy
Word number three, surprise
Birthday
Locking and birthday, Tommy
Okay
What do you want to be when you're older, Tommy?
I want to be a professional cricket player.
Oh, nice.
Well, right now, you could retire early with $5,000.
Let's see what word number four is.
PlayStation.
Games.
Do you want games?
Games.
Games, the plural.
With an S at the end.
Games.
Games.
Games. All right. Spider- S at the end. Games. Games. Games.
All right, Spider-Man is the fifth word this morning.
Come on, buddy.
I'm just going movie.
I'll try movie.
Movie.
All right.
You're working well together.
Now we'll just loop back around to number two, which was ruler.
Okay, ruler.
School.
School, ruler.
Tommy and what a game.
Ben Boyce, unleash him from the soundproof booth.
We cannot cage this animal.
He deserves to be free, spreading his wings.
Ben.
All right.
How did we go?
They went really well.
There are a couple of curly words.
I won't lie.
We don't want that.
We don't want that.
Yeah.
No pressure, Ben,
but you've got a nine-year-old
looking so excited.
Yeah, good on you, Anna.
So he's spent his money already.
Spent the money already.
You lay that pressure on, Anna.
Oh, jeez.
I'll try my best.
I'm sorry.
It's just weird.
And do you know, Tommy,
what Tommy wants to be
when he's older?
What's that? A professional cricketer, Ben. Oh, I love cricket my best. I'm sorry. It's just weird. And do you know what Tommy wants to be when he's older? What's that?
A professional cricketer, Ben.
Oh, I love cricket.
Future black cat here.
Yeah, we have to limit Ben's cricket chat on this show.
We lose half the audience when he starts rambling on about a five-day test match.
Here we go.
Word number one, Snickers.
Bah.
This is a tough one. In fact, I'm going to come back to that second word
Surprise was word number three
Surprise
We've got to
Birthday
Birthday
Surprise party was the other one I was thinking
Okay I'm going to go to word number four now, PlayStation.
Five.
It was games.
Spider-Man was the fifth word this morning, Ben.
Movie.
And this, I found this word quite difficult, but ruler.
Ruler? Yeah, R-U-L-E-R. I don't know why difficult, but ruler. Ruler?
Yeah, R-U-L-E-R.
I don't know why I keep spelling it.
Everyone knows what a ruler is.
Measure?
School.
They went school.
School's a good one.
School's a good one.
Anna and Tommy, listen.
Sorry, guys.
Three from five.
Oh, thanks.
Two, nine, ten.
Oh, good on you.
I tell you what, we'll send you out some hell pizza, shall we?
Yes, please. Oh, good on you, Tommy. send you out Some hell pizza Shall we Yes please Oh good on you Tommy
Have a great day
At school Anna
You look after yourself
And thank you very much
For listening to the program
Bang peeps guys
See you guys
Hopefully we get to do it again
Spy on the way
Yeah and speaking of
Spider-Man
Tom Holland revealed
Something that his mother did
To the producers of the movie
And it is the most
Motherly thing you will ever hear, but we'll tell you next.
It is a hit, you gotcha.
I'm Ben.
Spy.
Know what's up.
Spy.co.nz.
Now a hand over to producer Juliette, who's promised she will never leave us.
Ever.
And if she does, we'll start uncontrollably sobbing in the corner, Ben.
Oh, good.
She's made that promise.
She's never going to leave us.
Okay, if she does.
Oh, you won't.
It's a verbal contract. Never to never going to leave us. Okay, if she does. Oh, you won't. It's a verbal contract.
Never to leave the show.
Okay.
Ever.
Okay.
Jonathan.
So Justin Bieber has tested positive for COVID.
And he is, I just looked at an article of all the stars that have contracted COVID just this year.
I mean, we've just found out the Queen has.
Camilla.
Charles has had it twice. Charles has had it twice.
Charles has had it twice.
Simon Cowell, Elton John.
All your big bangers.
Only just this year.
So, gosh, there's probably going to be a whole lot more for the rest of the year.
It's a bit worrying about the Queen, though.
Yeah, I know.
Because, you know, they're the most vulnerable, the older age group.
Yeah, she's not, what, 96 in a few weeks' time or something, right?
Yeah, yeah.
But mild symptoms, they say, I think. Yeah, she's doing light, 96 in a few weeks time or something, right? Yeah, yeah. But mild symptoms
they say, I think.
Yeah, she's doing
light duties.
Light duties, yes.
Very good.
And she's probably got
the best doctors
and nurses around her,
I would say,
being the queen.
I hope she's doing good.
Yeah.
And Tom Holland,
obviously the latest
Spider-Man,
he has spoken about
what it was like
to wear the Spider-Man suit.
He said it didn't have
a zipper,
which made it really hard
for him to go to the bathroom on set.
And what his mum did after
she found this out is literally the most
motherly thing you'll ever hear. On the first movie
I remember we were shooting this sequence on the
Washington Monument and I was
in the suit for days at a time, sort of 11
hours, and I was young so I wanted to impress the
studio. I didn't want them to think that I needed
breaks. And I remember calling my mama I was like mom
I'm really struggling like I'm working every day and because I wear the suit I
can't go to the bathroom and then two days later the producer came up to me
and was like how are your kidneys yeah I was like yeah my kidneys are fine why
are you asking he's like well your mom called us. No. She's very concerned
about your organs
on this shoot.
Yeah, so my mom
called up the biggest
studio in the world
and was like,
give my son
a toilet break.
Now, isn't that
a very motherly
thing to do?
It is so motherly.
Make sure he's eating well.
Yeah, totally.
I don't have the body
to fill out the
Spider-Man suit, Ben.
You?
You could pull off
a Spider-Man suit.
I could bend could, yeah.
Yeah, Ben could.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Pull down the music, sorry.
Don't be so agreeable.
I reckon Ben could, yeah.
Okay, what about me?
No, you would be good for Batman.
There we go.
There's me pulling him back.
There's a bit more padding in the Batman.
And that is your Spy Outdate for this hour.
For more, you can head to the hits.co.nz.
After 8 o'clock on the show, we keep getting these texts coming through
with all these sort of rumours.
And we're going to call this person back after 8 o'clock
in a wee segment that we've now dubbed the Boomer Rumours.
Yeah, we keep getting a lot of, what I'll dub, misinformation.
Yeah.
About Jacinda and Clark.
Yeah.
And we're going to get her on after 8.
Hard-hitting interviews and informed opinion.
Mike Hosking on Newstalk ZB.
In the meantime, Jono and Ben on the hits.
It's Taylor Swift.
We found out this morning she's recently engaged.
There's the hits.
She got Jono and Ben.
That's apparently the truth, but right now we're going to deal with something that's more of a rumour.
Boom, boom, boom, boom.
Boomer, rumour.
Yeah, we've started this up.
Boomer, rumours.
Because we've noticed on the text machine 4487, you can text the show any time, we love getting your
feedback and correspondence.
There's one number consistently,
almost weekly Ben,
firing through rumours.
Rumours about
Clark and Jacinda. And
we've dubbed this the Boomer Rumour.
Because it's the sort of rumours that you go home
for a family dinner and your parents are like,
you didn't hear it from me. But I hear Jacinda's running for the President of the United States.
It's technically not possible, but anyway, they tell you what it is and sometimes it's easy to go, oh, okay.
But they present it with a ludicrous amount of confidence, don't they?
Well, you'd almost believe it.
So what we decided to do is we've tracked this lady now. Her name's Denise.
And she's going to present Boomerumers, one a week.
And we can debate them, figure them out, and find out if they're true or not.
Hello, Denise.
Good morning.
Lovely to have you on.
Lovely to be on.
Now, we thought we would give you the platform to broadcast your boomer rumours.
Yeah.
So we'll kick it off.
We'll just do one at a time because there's a lot to take in.
There's a lot to download with these rumours.
So your first one you want to get off the cab rank.
Well, it's a good rumour.
It's true.
Rumours are always true.
No, they're not always true, Denise.
These are the things, some of the ones I've heard people say are totally false.
Where did you hear the rumour, Denise?
I heard it from my hairdresser, and she's always true, of truth.
She never tells anything other than the truth.
Okay, all right, okay.
What did the hairdresser tell you?
Well, she told me that Clark, you know Clark, you don't say a defender.
Yeah, Clark, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, he's moved to New York. Did you know Clark, the old guy of Jacinda, Clark, yeah, yeah.
He's moved to New York.
Did you know that? No!
I didn't know that.
Why is he in New York?
Well, he wants to set up
a base in New York.
Yes.
Rumour has it
that Jacinda,
Yeah, do we know Jacinda, the Prime Minister, yeah.
Well, she's leaving in three months.
Three, she's stepping down in three months and moving to New York.
What's she going to do in New York?
Well, rumour has it, and rumour for true, rumour for true.
Yeah, right.
She's going to work for the UN in New York.
Oh. UN. And then why? She's going to work for the UN in New York Oh
UN
And then why?
No, surely she'd at least see out her term as Prime Minister
Oh, look
Darling, anyone can leave that role anytime
Darling
I can tell you
Now, can I just ask you
Why on earth did you hear Teresa know this?
Yeah
Well, look, she cuts hair, and she does her private haircut.
She knows, she's in the know with the private people that hang out.
Okay, all right.
So you heard it here first.
Clark's in New York.
Jacinda's stepping down in three months, going to a cushy gig at the UN.
Yes, yes.
The UN, I tell you it's true.
But I thought
Clark was filming another series of moving houses.
Series two. Well, he did move house to New
York.
He's sold his house.
He's sold it.
I believe Denise. I'm with you, Denise. I'm going to get this out there.
What's the fishing like in New York? Can you fish in the
Hudson River? I don't know. Fish up bodies.
It's true. I don't know if it's true.
I don't think it's true but
I enjoyed hearing the first boomer room.
Denise, we will get you back on next
week. Oh thank you.
I can't wait to tell you what's happening
next week. There you go. That's the boomer
room with Denise.
We've just had a thought.
Barry Soper, political reporter, been in Parliament for 30 years.
Let's get him on.
He'll be able to confirm or deny these rumours.
Alright.
Is Clark hiding away in Brooklyn with Niamh,
waiting for Jacinda to start her gig at the UN?
It seems ludicrous, but we'll find out next.
It is the hits, you've got Jono and Ben.
Too much time to spare. but we'll find out next. It is the hits. You've got Jono and Ben.
Breakfast with Jono and Ben.
Rumour, rumour.
That's right, I just had Denise on.
She texts us regularly about rumours regarding,
mainly focused around Clark and Jacinda,
and this was her first one.
Good morning.
Lovely.
Damn it, sorry, time.
The grab didn't work in time.
That was her saying good morning to us,
just to prove that Denise had a mouth,
and she used her voice.
But her rumour was that Clark's with Niamh in New York,
Jacinda's stepping down in three months,
and she's going to work at the UN.
This is the boomer rumour.
Now, we need to get to the bottom of it,
and we're joined by Newstalk ZB political editor,
Barry Soper.
Welcome.
Very well, thanks, guys, and you?
No we're doing well, always love talking to you Barry, now the reason we got you on this
morning, we started a new part of the show called
Boomer Rumours, we keep getting texted by this lady
with some wild rumours about
Clark and Jacinda, the latest one
the latest one, Clark's living
in New York with Niamh
he's setting up base, Jacinda's off in three
months to start at the UN.
Over to you, Barry.
Can you confirm or deny?
Well, you know, there are more rumours about Clark Gaifert
than there are protesters at Parliament.
Honestly, if I spent time investigating the amount of emails
and texts that I get about Clark Gaifert,
then I wouldn't have any time for anything else.
It's incredible.
And I won't say what the rumours are, but they're preposterous.
I mean, I've looked into a couple because they came from what I thought
were relatively reputable sources, but they never are.
So you're saying he wouldn't be in New York and she's not leaving in three months?
I think you can be rest assured that Clark Gofford is still in New Zealand
living what would
seem to be a fairly happy life
although you don't see him very much at all
so you don't know what his life is really
like. I imagine in Parliament this would be a
daily occurrence, not just about Clark
and Jacinda or whatever, but just in other politicians
there'd be a lot of rumours floating around I would imagine.
Well look, I've been in this
game a long time as you know guys and there are, there are rumours floating around, I would imagine. Well, look, I've been in this game a long time, as you know, guys,
and there are rumours about all of them.
And they are so preposterous that, you know, really, you just can't take them seriously.
Now, Barry Soper, on a serious note, the protesters, you've been, as you said,
you've been doing this job a long time now.
Is this the wildest thing you've seen at Parliament?
Well, no, it's not the wildest thing.
And it was funny because it was alluded to by Cuddles Costa yesterday
that he didn't want the police to go down the same road as they did in 1981.
And believe it or not, I was based in Parliament in 1981
and I saw all the skirmishes that they had during the Springbok tour with the police
and they were ugly, much uglier than what we've seen at Parliament.
In fact, it doesn't even come near it, what's going on at Parliament compared to what it was like in 1981.
I love Cuddles, can I say I love Cuddles Costa?
I like that nickname.
You mean Crusher Collins?
Cuddles Costa.
How is it like going to work for you each day, though?
Firstly, where are you parking?
Is there parking close by?
Well, I don't park.
Fortunately, I walk into work, and it's been an interesting experience.
The security guards, I know them all.
The police have been pretty good.
They know the old gravelly voice, so when I walk in,
they step back and bow from the waist and I go.
So do you think it's going to end?
I mean, what are we, day 14 now?
What's going to happen?
Any idea?
Well, you know, as the police have said, they're not going to take an aggressive approach,
and I think we can all be happy about that because I've been in that protest in the thick of it now for the last couple of weeks,
and there are a lot of very reasonable people there.
There are some loonies, and there are always a lunatic fringe at protests,
but by and large, the people are pretty good in the place.
I've said the camp city is incredible, but now it's grown to over 700 tents.
I mean, it's incredible.
There's no camping ground in New Zealand.
And I'll tell you what, when they were partying on Friday night,
I was down there having a look back,
and it must be like partying for them in front of a very large mansion.
You look back at Parliament, beautiful building,
and here are all the partygoers, you know, dancing on the stage,
and the big bands came in this weekend.
So, you know, for the Womads and all those festivals that have missed out,
they're all coming to Wellington.
It has been summer's greatest festival.
I was watching it on the news going,
geez, that looks like fun.
Now, Barry, the Prime Minister's saying,
I'm not going to negotiate with them,
I'm not even going to enter in conversation with them.
They're saying we're not going to leave until the mandates are dropped.
It's a stalemate.
Well, I think they should send down Clark Gaiford.
He could talk to them.
I think he was DJing on Saturday night, wasn't he?
Right.
But, no, look, I think she's made a fundamental error here.
The thing is, to de-escalate a situation like that, you've got to have dialogue.
She's refused to do it.
There's some funny things when you go down there.
I mean, if you wanted your hair cut, you're fine.
If you wanted your laundry done, just drop in a bag of laundry in the morning at the administration tent,
and it'll be back with your name on it at night.
If you want to do yoga in the morning, they're doing it at the moment.
It's a real camp city.
Well, it sounds like it.
So Barry's got to make his 8.30 yoga class now,
so we'll let you go, Barry Soper.
Always a pleasure talking to you.
Have a great day.
Nice talking to you too, guys.
Rise and shine.
Time to start the, um, who are we kidding?
When are the both of you?
Jono and Ben on the hits.
Of course, Nico Porteus won big over the weekend,
which is awesome in the Winter Olympics. We want to talk right now about
when you almost won big.
Yeah 0800 the hits when you've just
missed out on winning big whether it
you know it be a sporting competition or
just colouring in competition.
I'm trying to think of stuff and I'm doing
a really bad job. Because our mate
Bees is joining us right now. Good morning
friend of the show Bees. Joining us on the phone right now friend of the show Bees is joining us right now. Good morning, friend of the show, Bees.
Joining us on the phone right now, friend of the show, Bees.
How's it going?
Good, thanks, fellas.
Can we call you a friend of the show?
Have you ever listened to the show?
Don't answer that.
Please don't.
It'll hurt our feelings.
You're breaking up just a little bit where you went.
It's a bad line.
It's a bad line.
Let's just say he's aware of the show.
Yeah.
Now, Bees, you almost won big over the last week with Lotto.
Tell us what happened.
So Wednesday night's Lotto draw, I mean, first of all, fellas,
I play the same Lotto numbers every week.
You know, it's a $7 ticket.
It's like five lines of Lotto and the Powerball.
And I'm, like've committed to it.
These are going to be the numbers
that are going to pay off for me.
So these are the numbers.
Have you chosen these? Would you remember
these? You're like, these are the numbers that I know
and I love. Some of them
are like birthdays. Some of them are my favourite
basketball players' numbers.
Rattle through them. What are your five numbers plus your bonus?
I can't remember that right now.
He doesn't love the numbers that much.
There's a whole line.
It's not just one line.
It's a whole ticket of numbers.
It's the same numbers.
Take his word for it.
I can show you the ticket later.
Okay.
I'll believe you that you love these numbers.
I'm a numbers guy, Jono.
I just won't name any.
Yeah. Everybody will know them. If I tell you, guy, Jono. I just won't name any. Yeah.
Everybody will know them.
If I tell you, everybody will know them.
Okay, fair enough, fair enough.
So you've played these numbers.
You've been playing them for how long?
I've been playing them for like, I'm guessing like 10 or 12 years,
somewhere along those lines.
I'm now kind of stuck in this rush of going,
well, if I don't buy the ticket,
what if this is the week that they turn up?
That's how the gambling gets you, buddy.
That's how it gets you.
So Wednesday night, though, well, how did you find out that things were going quite
well for these numbers?
So Wednesday's draw, I wake up on Thursday, I go online, and it gives you like the online
draw, and it's quite a fast, exciting things are happening on the screen.
You know, there's things that are popping out, and it comes up,
and I start sort of, you know, it's buzzing at me,
and I start sort of looking at this ticket, and I go, hold on.
I've got that one, two, three, four, five.
What?
And the Powerball. So you've got five numbers and the Powerball.
So you've got five numbers and the Powerball in one line?
Five numbers and the Powerball in one line.
You've won the big one, haven't you?
No.
So I've won Division III.
It's $1,600.
It is the worst $1,600 I've ever had in my life. I have so much hate for this $1,600. It is the worst $1,600 I've ever had in my life.
I have so much hate for this $1,600.
So how many numbers were you off winning millions and millions of dollars?
One.
So one number you would have got how much?
$4 million.
Oh, my God.
I mean, $1,600 is still amazing, but still in comparison to former.
I felt when we actually when we started talking to you,
you had an aura of almost wealth about you.
Yeah.
Rather than the normal poverty sort of aura that I have
when you see me any other time.
The worst thing, fellas, is that I've been, you know,
me and the family have been sick and we've been waiting for COVID results.
So all I've been doing is stewing on the fact that I could have this $4 million.
Instead you get COVID as well
as a wonderful Division 3 prize too.
Yeah.
You'd be so angry,
you'd want to like lay a complaint,
but you've got nothing to...
Yeah, because you've got, yeah, $1,600.
But it seems like it's quite a big drop off
from $4 million to $1,600.
Well, let's be honest, fellas.
If I had gotten the six numbers, I certainly wouldn't
have been answering this call.
And that will wrap him up right there.
There's Bees, Ben's
friend who's aware of the show.
Not quite friend of the show, but thank you for your time.
0800 The Hits is
our number. 4487 The Text.
SMS charges do apply.
When have you almost won
big like our mate Bees Bees will find out next.
The sure weather masks make them look a whole lot better.
Jono and Ben on the hits.
Hey, we were just talking to Bees, your friend,
who was one number off winning $4 million of Lotto recently.
And someone else has texted.
And many people text in saying they've missed out just by one number.
If a person got $360 instead of getting $6 million.
I almost won a Mercedes in a casino.
I was one number off winning that.
Stories are so much, we would have so much more radio fodder
if you could just phone up and go, I almost did this.
I almost won that, you know.
Maybe we should just widen the scope when it comes to phone calls on this show.
We almost have something happen to you.
Let's do some scrolling.
Scrolling through your feed.
He's fresh from mowing the lawn of topicality,
and he's about to dump this, the clippings on the compost.
What's happening, Ben?
Nico Porteus, of course, from New Zealand,
won our second gold medal at the Winter Olympics ever,
and we spoke to him, well, yesterday.
He was on the train in China,
and he talked about how cold it was, and it kind of seems like a stupid thing not to think about,
but he was saying how cold it was up there on the mountain.
It was absolutely freezing. It was minus 30 up on the mountain yesterday,
so it was extremely, extremely cold, and it was brutal, to be honest.
I don't know what the difference would be. I'm not one, I haven't been in Arctic temperatures before, Ben,
but the difference between minus 15 and minus 30,
would it be much?
Or you're like, once you hit minus 10,
you're probably like, this is so cold, it can't get any colder.
Let's talk about the wind chill factor, too,
that with the winds whipping through, it's even colder still.
And it happened to a poor guy, a Finland's cross-country skier.
He revealed that he suffered a frozen, just, you know.
Let's say his third pole.
Yeah, yeah. He suffered something during the event.
So obviously the conditions were really bad and some of the athletes suffered a frostbite.
On it?
They're not wearing a lot of layers.
No, it's a paper-thin lycra they're winning for, you know, the wind resistance, exactly
what you're talking about.
And he said it's one of the worst conditions he's been in.
Afterwards, he has sort of put a heat pack on that part of his body to thaw out,
and he said when it did thaw out, the pain was unbearable.
Was it like a piece of ice?
Yes, yes.
What was it?
Because I know what happens when a geyser gets scared,
and it tries to hide inside, doesn't it?
Yeah, so there you go.
It tries to seek shelter
in terrible conditions
and then just quickly
before we wrap things up
Toy Story
you know I love
the Toy Story movie franchise
mate I carry around
a Toy Story 4 backpack
and no matter
how much mockery
or you know
backhanded compliments
you receive
you still persist with it
and that's what I admire
yeah but I wouldn't
maybe I wouldn't
have had this backpack if it wasn't for this lady.
Galen Sussman is her name.
Now, someone at Pixar, after they made the first Toy Story movie
and they were making Toy Story 2, they were moist at the end,
and someone accidentally deleted all the files,
and the backup hadn't been working properly.
And so this sent them into quite a bit of a panic,
because they were like, oh, my God, this movie, Toy Story 2,
is not going to be able to be made and uh galen was on she was on maternity
leave working from home on a computer and she had a backup she had backed it up but she had to drive
she was the most agonizing driver and having this thing sitting next to me with a seat belt on
driving your computer back in going this is the only copy of toy story 2 that exists around and
now this lady is uh now the exec is one of the producers for the new Lightyear movie as well.
They're like, Gany's not going to lose the footage.
She's keeping her around.
So that's pretty awesome.
So does that mean that Toy Story 2 could have been made with quite a different storyline
or something if they never had the backup files?
Well, I guess they would have had to start again.
Well, yeah, that's not like it wouldn't have been made it just would have cost them a
buttload of money and someone definitely would have lost their job they would never would have
worked in that town again and that is uh scrolling their feed hey next on the show uh i've made
friends with a magpie i'll tell you how in just a few moments on the hats the great thing about
listening to this show is that the day can only get better from here.
Jono and Ben on the hits.
Jono and Ben on your Monday morning.
Hey, after nine o'clock this morning, you need to be listening out for this song.
Of course, Dreams on the remix by Joel and Pitch.
If you hear that song, 0800 the hits and you could go in the drawer to live free.
Thanks to One Roof.
One year of rent or mortgage paid for an entire year.
It's an amazing price thanks to oneroof.co.nz.
And on Friday, Kylie won the first key.
She was one of our finalists.
She won with Brad and Laura,
and it was very emotional.
Oh, I'm shaking.
Congratulations.
You have won a key.
You are now,
you have a one in five chance
of winning your rent or mortgage paid.
Oh my God, That's insane.
That's game changing.
That's, oh, my God.
Yeah, it's amazing.
Price, imagine that.
Imagine it.
Imagine it.
Well, it's a huge weight off your shoulders, isn't it?
We might miss a couple of payments and put you in trouble with the banks.
I just had to dot upstairs during that last song and I had to go up in the lift.
And for some reason, I don't know what it is, but our lift door is purely there just to inconvenience human beings because when you're
in a rush to there's something there was someone in there and i was running towards it i could see
it closing and i was like oh whoa whoa whoa and i thought they were going to do the good thing of
you know they put their body on the line and stick their arm through and you don't you always feel
like a legend when you do that don't you yeah yeah kiwi hero line and stick their arm through. And you always feel like a legend when you do that, don't you? Yeah, Kiwi Hero sort of putting their arm through,
helping out someone.
I assumed this was going to happen,
but I just kept running towards it,
thinking I was going to have the safety of a stranger's arm
blocking the sensor.
No.
I went in.
Bang.
Both doors crammed me like a sandwich.
There's no coming back from that either.
And when you have to also go into the lift
and ride with the person as well.
Exactly.
That's awkward because you're like,
oh, I've just smashed myself with the lift.
And you know they're enjoying it
because when you see someone else do it,
oh, you're on your ivory tower.
Yeah, you're quite good with the lifts.
You're like holding for ages for other people,
weren't you?
Like people that aren't even using the lift,
you're just holding there,
looking around, looking like, this is my hero moment.
I'm like, oh, sorry, mate.
You've done that to me before.
I've been running towards the doors
and you're like, I can't push the button.
I was like, you can.
Just use your finger.
Use your finger to push the thing that opens the doors.
It's one of those sorry, oh, sorry situations.
Sorry.
You're right.
Sometimes when you misjudge a sorry though, you're like, oh, sorry,
and they still have time to get in.
You're like, you don't look like a good human.
Lifts are awkward, though, aren't they?
Yeah.
It's like a conversation capsule.
No one can escape my meaningless banter in a lift.
They wish they could jump.
You banter in a lift?
I do so.
Even to strangers?
Yeah, he loves a chick.
It's always meant to be silent in a lift, Jono.
Is it? Yeah. It's always meant to be silent in a lift, Jono. Is it?
Yeah.
It's like a plane.
He just talks to the person the whole time on the plane.
Far out.
Like a plane should be like, when you get on, you say hello.
It's your own time.
When you land, that's when you pick up the conversation again.
That was a good flight.
Yeah.
All right, well, enjoy.
Because you've got enough time to find out where anyone's going within those little couple
of minutes.
So your takeoff and landing is your conversation time.
Yeah.
Up until we take off, that's when all headphones on.
What about a lift?
When you take off in a lift, hello, silence, have a good day.
Yeah, that's the same.
Same applies.
Same applies.
Same rules apply, okay.
Yeah, that's good now.
But you're a real engager.
Remember that lift that we had in Australia?
We stayed at that hotel and they played music.
It was amazing technology based on the number of people in the lift.
What do you mean? So you get it, and if you you were by yourself they'd play like the song that was like one is the loneliest number and then it was like me and jono would get in and
they'll be like just the two of us it was like it was crazy isn't it like the songs would relate to
how many people were in the lift how they did it but it was it was even there were nine people
and they're like let's get it on they. They misjudged the numbers on this one.
Hey, tomorrow on the show, make sure you join us from six o'clock.
Got more chances to win $5,000.
We'll catch you tomorrow from six.
Jono and Ben, brought to you by Resene, New Zealand's most trusted paint.
Kiwi made since 1946.