Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: What Big Life Moment Did You Miss? Jono Missed His Own 21st!

Episode Date: July 6, 2021

There are always those big moments in life that you always look forward to and always remember. But what happens when you miss them? Ben missed the auction of his own house and Jono missed his own 21st. Bet these sorts of things happen a lot! We also spoke about how Gordon Ramsay "ruined" a couple's wedding with his TV shoot, so we wanted to know about the things that ruined your wedding day. Enjoy the poddy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

John O'Brien, Ben Boyce. That's the Daily Log log if you were to do an audio diary every day I think that'd be a really interesting exercise wouldn't it just a little

30 second snapshot of your day yeah because you kind of yeah you're right well I guess in a way we kind of the radio show

is in a way kind of like that oh it's an inflated diary though isn't it it's not like went to Bunnings picked up some fertiliser. But who would listen to that back?

No, it'd be boring. You know, that's the thing. I'm not in no disrespect to anyone's day if they did that. But what makes the cut for a diary? Yeah. You know, I know Poppy, my daughter's, you do when you're a kid, you start a diary, don't you? But you start with all guns blazing and you slowly fade out. But, you know, what event or what calibre of event needs

to take place for it to land in a diary? Yeah, well some people, like, I don't know. I don't know if anyone would do it every day. Maybe they would. Why doesn't someone email us on the podcast? Do you keep a daily diary? Yeah, daily diary. Or is it just the big things that happen in your life? So yesterday, take yesterday for example. What would you cherry pick out of yesterday

to put in a diary? I went to the exhibit at the museum with the kids. It was really cool. Was it a good exhibit? Yeah, it was cool. We've seen monsters. We talked to the paleontologist about that a couple weeks ago on the radio. So that's diary worthy. So yeah, I think that would be the one thing that popped into my head from that.

But you know, but it's, you're right. Because you know, like back in the day when Captain Cook was sailing around the world spreading his syphilis and all sorts, he was keeping a diary too. Yeah. I imagine back then you probably would because you couldn't video it, take photos. Yeah. Probably a lot more importance back then on that sort of thing. Yeah.

So, but then I'd be like, he would probably feel the responsibility of, how much am I putting into this thing? I did one when we did ROE for six, yeah, pretty much six months. I did one every day for that. Wrote down and kept little things, put it in and came back with it, you know? Like, it was like a journal of a travel thing. It was a

reason, because you're seeing new places each time. But you're a good documenter too. You also do a Ben Boyce's annual end-of-year photo album. Yeah, I do a photo album, yeah. Which he is bestowing upon his family. Well, for all the friends and family who make the cut, I get them around for a slideshow, and they find out, and it's like a reality show.

Do you know how many albums you have now? Because they're going to keep piling up, buddy. No, no. You know, as every year goes by. I'd say at least 10, 11. I've been sort of doing it since, well, since pretty much Sienna was born, yeah. Yeah, an album, no. As every year goes by. I'd say at least 10, 11. I've been sort of doing it since, well, since pretty much Sienna was born. Yeah. An album, yeah.

I was just coincidentally, just before we started recording this, my photo stream popped up on my computer. And it is truly disturbing to know that 75% of the photos you're in. Yeah. In my photo stream. Yeah, same with you. We're the same. There's a lot. We're just both pointing at things. Yeah, same with you. We're the same. There's a lot.

We're just both pointing at things, we're doing thumbs up, we're doing silly faces, we're doing peace signs. They're not good photos. No, no.

And that's also the thing I find at the moment too, you just, it's all you, it's all you. There's us on a trip to America. But you take so many photos

of the same thing. You might take like eight photos or something and then it's a real, it is another job to go back through and go, oh, I can delete seven of these eight photos. I don't need. Like you're one of my people.

Your face just comes up as a solo. He's one of your guys. I mean, I think my computer thinks that we're in a relationship of some description because you're in there more than my wife. She's in a wider circle of photos. But yeah, this is interesting. Photos are bloody good, though, aren't they?

Your photo album idea is really good. I might do that. Do you order it through Apple, do you? I used to. Now it's like there's a few other sites you can basically make on your computer and order it through. So, yeah. Jeez, this program's got good. Now it even separates everything for you.

It's got, like, trip to Taupo. Or, like, New Year's Eve. I know. it even separates everything for you it's got like trip to taupo or like new year's eve it does it all for you you don't have to do anything and then it comes back up and goes uh yeah and a memory from two years ago you were doing this yeah gee we have to do nothing nowadays as humans do we i know and we cover that off in the show actually mcdonald's uh fully automating their drive-through service we'll. We'll give you a bit of that, a good taste of that. And also we got talking about big life events you missed out on. That's all on the podcast today. Enjoy. What ruined your wedding day?

You can get in touch with us right now because Gordon Ramsay, of all people, has completely obliterated a Scottish couple's wedding day. Yeah, they're getting married on a beach and he was filming a TV show on the same beach at the time. Was it called Food Beach or something? Yeah. Or Ramsay's Nightmare Beaches? Yeah, I don't know what the show was, but there seems to be a bit of debate afterwards whether he did or he didn't ruin the thing.

Because according to the producers of the show, he got involved in the wedding and um you know and they were all into it but afterwards the couple was now complained even though they got the wedding paid for by the production company that he ruined their wedding yeah so they took over the whole beach the tv production company i see a photo of it uh you know sort of 50 uh cast and crew all lingering around the beach and the couple was meant to get married on this quiet, secluded beach on the same day. You can understand that would kind of be a bit off-putting if that was your dream and then suddenly there's a whole lot of... But I love how there's 30 to 50 people on the beach,

but they're solely pinning the blame on Ramsay. That was Gordon Ramsay. Well, I think he came involved and got part of the wedding. They were all filming it and getting in there. So maybe afterwards. They loved him. Yeah, I don't know there so maybe afterwards they loved him to his face yeah that's the thing that's the important thing

but Ramsey should see we've actually got some audio of how he treated the couple on the day and I think this will probably sway the jury this is money being thrown down the drain smell the thing and what's this thing?

You're s***. You are so s*** you don't even realise what you're doing. I see why they later complained. It wasn't from there. It was just Gordon, just his usual like pleasant demeanour. But he could do a new show Ramsey's Wedding Nightmares

where he turns up to a wedding with his film crew, filming another show, but creates a nightmare wedding, just through his existence and the location. So what we want to do right now, 0800, the hits, 4487, what ruined your wedding? Gee, maybe

your bridesmaid. Did they faint at the altar? Did your celebrant turn up intoxicated? A lot of radio hosts do wedding celebrants, don't they? I wouldn't trust myself to be in charge of someone's special day. Oh, like actually being the... They do it as a side hustle. A lot of radio people do that.

They do, yeah. You'd be a good wedding celebrant. Oh, yeah. Maybe that's why you tell me I'm not good on the radio. Why don't you get more into the wedding celebrant thing? I wasn't really... Have a think about it. Have a think about it.

You know? Oh, no, no, I'm related. We've got a meeting with upper management at 10.30, okay? Just have a think about that. Have a gook. You know, the course you have to do and stuff like that. I remember I was in charge of my brother-in-law, Ed. Eddie.

He got married. And I was put in charge of that. They're like, you work in tv you can you can run the camera all day all right now you know i work in tv but i don't know what i'm doing in tv i didn't even know those things were called cameras that they pointed at us so they're like oh you do the camera and so i i was in charge of the uh the camera i was you know getting full coverage zooms in zooms zooms out, emotional tight shots. I imagine you'd be talking through the whole thing too.

Like commentary on, oh yeah, here we go. No, but that was the thing. I forgot. I knew I had the camera in my hand, but I forgot I had the camera in my hand a lot of the time. Like a reality TV star. So over the course of the wedding video, it's just me having conversations with people. I never turned it off. It was like a live stream.

It was a live stream event. This sounds like a joke. I took it into the toilet, and it was like pointing at the ground, but you could hear me having a conversation with somebody else in the door. They had to take it to an editor to try and fix up the wedding video. I've never been asked to film another wedding. No. So sad.

But I am available, pending this meeting at 10.30. I can maybe be the celebrant as well. Give us a combo. Yeah. Jenny, we'll get you on from Whangarei. Welcome. Hi, thank you. Good to have you on, Morena.

What ruined the wedding day? I don't even know where to start. Let me start by saying I married my best friend. Couldn't be happier but the day itself we hired a limo and the limousine driver bought his girlfriend and sat in the front seat of the car okay that's a bit weird but whatever you roll with it you know and then we're in the limousine going to our photo shoot and the radiator blows up and he doesn't stop driving so the back of the car is filling with this like thick radio and we're

feeling nauseous we're like dude can you actually pull over because the car's gonna break down like you need to stop he's like no no it's fine and we're like no it's not okay look turn around there's smoke in the car like you actually have to stop the car now. So he stops, and then we get to the reception hall, and I'm feeling so sick that I have to go have a shower, like a cold shower, because I just feel so nauseous. Oh, you've had, like, carbon monoxide poisoning or something along the way in the back of the limo?

I was not going right, and I felt so sick. And so I go up, have a cold shower, thinking, you know, try and feel better. I don't feel better. So after, like, my dress started feeling too tight, too constricting. So I took off my $1,600 wedding dress and put on a $20 dress that I'd bought on Trade Me for, like, the after-party kind of thing. Yeah. And I spent the night in my $20 dress that I'd bought on Trade Me for like the after party kind of thing. Yeah. And I spent the night in my $20 dress.

Oh, that's money well spent. Oh, well spent. And money even better spent because you could phone up on the radio and retell that. I mean, what price do you put on that? Oh, I've read them all of the glory. Oh, Jenny, that's a great story. Oh, jeez.

Shout out to the limousine driver and his girlfriend. He was an optimist. I love him. Thanks, Jenny. Have a good story Shout out to the limousine driver And his girlfriend He was an optimist Thanks Jenny have a good one Really appreciate it We'll get Tyrone on from Auckland What happened at the wedding What was ruining it Family My family and my wife's family

Got to a point where they hated each other Oh no And during the reception The women folk from both sides going to a full-blown fist fight. Oh, no. Absolute chaos. Absolute chaos.

Dinner and a show. Yeah. Oh, it was... Since then, I've just never spoken... I want nothing to do with my family. Oh, that's sad that it ended up like that. No, 27 years later, but they were all embarrassing. Oh, you haven't spoken to your family in 27 years?

Yeah, no, I've got no use for them. Oh, really sorry to hear about that. Now, I wouldn't be doing my job as a soulless radio announcer if I didn't ask you politely, would you be keen to call them next? Oh, my gosh. Oh, boy, I'd be a bit hard. Most of them are dead now. Oh.

I somehow made that more awkward. You did. You did. I had already made it awkward. I'm not keen to call them next. Yeah. Oh, Tyrone, well, listen, I'm glad you're happy in your marriage. Yep, yep.

Best decision I ever made. Oh, good. Thank God. I thought you were about to go, no, listen, I'm glad you're happy in your marriage. Yep, yep. Best decision I ever made. Oh, good. Thank God. I thought you were about to go, no, no, we divorced last week. Just to rub salt in my wounds. All right, stop talking, John. I don't know where this is going to go. Thanks, Tyrone.

Appreciate it. Now, another text here about fighting grandmothers, too, from opposite sides of the family. Handbags being thrown, glasses of wine being chucked at each other. I need to go to one of these weddings. Our went to one in the gold coast remember and he was he was saying that the best man got up to make a speech not in ideal conditions for no mentally he probably wasn't in the right mind frame and he was profusely sweating. Oh no. And he started talking and his jaw was detached. It looked like it was a canyon

swing. And he dunked our mate. It was the best Aussie bogan wedding he'd ever been to. The speech went on for 25 minutes and none of it made any sense. But everyone was told how much he loved them. Two dads just trying to fill some airtime.

Some might say it's pointless, but the main thing is it fills in some airtime for us. That is the main thing. John and Ben, breakfast on the hits. I went to a show the other day I was talking about with my daughter, and I had something happen to me, and it felt weird in sort of, you know, the world that we live in right now, because obviously people, you know, the COVID, the pandemic, and it sort of changes the way things, you know, you deal with stuff.

I mean, one of the worst things you can do is sort of sneeze and cough in public situations, right? Who would have thought? Yeah, up until then, it was nudity in public. Now you can wander freely naked throughout the streets and no one will blink an eye. But if you sneeze and cough, everyone's like, oh, what's going on there? Especially around the workplace. Don't you notice that? Even just a little, I mean, Juliet sneezed before and I was like, do we need to put you down?

I know. Yeah. Do we need to? So we went to the Lion King show, which obviously was a packed house. It was an awesome show. And my daughter had, you know, she had a couple of, yeah, some candy, some lollies.

And I grabbed, you know, grabbed one to eat one during the show. And I kind of got it stuck, kind of got sort of caught in my throat, and I was like, oh, you know, where you sort of feel like you start to choke, and I'm like, oh, no, I'm going to need to cough this out. Oh, don't, and no one ever looks cool choking.

No. Like, I mean, we've both choked metaphorically through our careers for many years, but literal choking in public is like, you make a scene, you're flapping, you're, and, I mean, not even Harry Styles would look cool choking. Yeah, and you make a scene you're flapping you and i mean not even harry styles would look cool choking yeah and you're in the middle of there's production going on yeah so you don't want to make a noise to start off with oh here he is making it all about himself again yeah yeah exactly so i was like i'm gonna have to do a little cough but then you're like

oh in your head you're like oh coughing's not a good look because everyone's gonna look around go oh is he sick is he sick what's going on he should be in public he shouldn't be in a pact so you're like the sensible option is to lose uh airflow circulation pass out and potentially that was the only option well yeah i was thinking or do i was like or do i race outside you know race out to the foyer and and do it but then i'm like well my daughter's next to me i she doesn't know that i'm just leaving her by herself can i just ask how long were all these thoughts taking? Because, you know, you're losing valuable seconds here, buddy.

And that's how I passed out and died. It's a little bit like that, eh? But you sort of do those initial sort of, you know, like little, you know, like... You think your life is going to end when you're travelling. You're like, this is it. This is how I'm going to be gone after this. You seriously think. You do, you're right. Oh right oh my god is this how it happens it would be a terrible way

to go yeah to in like the middle of denny's or something choking on a piece of squid yeah or even you know the lion king am i going to be a part of a bad review it was an amazing performance am i going to be the reason they get a bad review like oh and someone who made it all about themselves choking they didn't die on stage, but boy. The guy that died in the crowd. But then I made it to somehow, you know, it wedges and it gets out. And suddenly the airflow starts coming back in. Have you ever Heimlich'd anyone?

No. I'd give you a Heimliching if you ever want to watch. Thank you, thank you. Juliet, who would you, if one of us was choking, we're both choking at the same time. Oh, at the same time? Yeah, who are you Heimlich-ing first? I would get me to do one and then Ben Humphrey to do the other. There seems to be like there's probably a lot more to it

than just what you think for that, you know. It looks very simple, doesn't it? It does. It just looks like a sort of a straddle from behind situation. Every movie they do it and then... Also, why is it called a Heimlich? I think it was the doctor that invented it It was like this to me, I got this

Oh god, what's he doing? What is he doing? Experts in semi-accurate half-remembered information Vaguely known information, maybe not correct Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits I was talking to friends of ours over the weekend, something that happened a while ago. We bought a

house a few years ago. I wasn't actually there for the auction. And I hadn't really thought that's probably quite unusual when you're making a big life, you know, part of something that affects your life. Let's say a tentpole moment you would say in any couple's career, isn't it? So the house purchase. We were busy, We were at work.

And it was at that stage. It was a good show, too, I reckon, that day. It would have been a cracker. Yeah. It would have been worth missing an auction for. Yeah. Potentially leaving a scar on your relationship. I mean, anyone that's gone through the pain of trying to get a house and you go along,

it's particularly, you know, you go to houses, you're like, I'm never going to get this. Well, this is going to go for more than me. So I kind of, I basically mentally checked out of the process you're like well i'm gonna live in a cardboard box in fort street for the rest of my life and i'm happy with that amanda my wife she took a friend of ours he went along as well and they went to the auction and then she rang me up i remember i was at work and she rang up she goes we got the house i was like which house was this again you know i was that i was uh oh yeah what'd you pay for so i don't got the house yeah but what did you pay for it yeah that was i was don't know, I got the house. I was like, yeah, but what did you pay for it?

I was like, anyone can get the house at the auction. I mean, anyone can win the house if they just keep going. Yeah, and it's like when she comes home with clothes and you're saying, she keeps going, it's versatile. I can wear it, I can dress it up, dress it down. You're like, yeah, but how much was it? I can dress it down. How much is this house that I can't vaguely remember? I remember just walking in and going,

oh, we're probably not going to get it and leaving. Just because you're in that stage where everything's just like... But to be fair, like, an auction environment, it's intense. Not for me. There's a lot of whispering. There's a lot of backstabbing. It's like radio. But yeah, as a nervy guy, it's not for you.

It's not the environment for you. So it was probably a wise decision that you weren't at the auction. Yeah, I'm not a safe pair of hands in that environment. But a lot of people miss out on big moments in their relationship, don't they? Yeah, big moments in your life. And that's what we wanted to know this morning on 0800 The Hits. What is a moment in your life that was a big moment that maybe you weren't at? I missed my 21st birthday.

Oh, you've talked about this. Yeah. I forgot the reason why. What was the reason why you missed it? I was in Huntly At the Huntly Speedway For the Huntly Demo Derby evening Terrible scheduling of your 21st on a night At the Huntly Speedway mate

I'm always going to pick the Huntly Speedway Sorry I can't go to this one So you see it was a work thing At the Rock you had to go to that right? Yeah and thankfully in Huntly It was like living my 21st In Huntly it was a work thing at the Rock. You had to go to that, right? Yeah, and thankfully in Huntly. It was like living my 21st in Huntly. It was fun. I got to do a yardie at the scrapyard.

I got to make a speech at the police station, which was probably more just a statement, actually. But by the time I arrived back in Auckland, the party was definitely winding up. It was sort of 11.30, 12. And everyone was like, oh, we had a great party. You had a great party, mate. Thanks. So it was probably better without 30 12 and everyone was like oh we had a great party you had a great party mate thanks so it was probably better without me there yeah to be honest did you not want to rush back

for your own party i'm not a party guy okay i'm not why did you put on the party yeah it felt like an obligation you know those ones like 21st 30th 40th i even go okay guys i got work tonight yeah yeah i had assumed that i was going to be back a bit earlier. Right. But again, Ben, you've been a victim of this, my mismanagement of time. And that was a shocking mismanagement. See, I've got 40th this year. I won't have a 40th.

No, the good thing is because a lot of my friends. You don't have to. You don't have to have a party. No. They're a year older than me. So they all celebrate the Big Bangers the year before. So then by the time my Big Banger rolls around, people are sick of celebrating the Big Bangers.

So I've avoided it. Including you. So what is the big moment in your life that happened that you weren't part of? That you missed out on for whatever reason? Love to hear from you this morning. I imagine a lot of people didn't make the birth of children. Not the mothers, obviously. They would have been there. Yeah, no, you're right.

It does happen, though, quite a bit. I mean, maybe some weddings. People didn't turn up to weddings. Transport issues. Maybe you fell sick. Who knows? I'm just chucking out options. Don't let me do all the heavy lifting for you. So, the big life moments that you missed out on. Juliet, you missed out on anything

big? I'm trying to think. I don't think anything compares to missing out on a house auction or a 21st. Yeah. Okay. Friends of ours, actually, they were away, and they got another friend to go to the auction. Oh, really?

On their behalf. So both of them went to the auction. Oh, my God. That's pressure on the friends. He was like, I got it. Did they win? Yeah, they got it. Yeah, it was safe for your hands.

He'd done it before. He was kind of like, yeah, love it. Love this environment. Good for it. And then did it. So I was like, no. So I got your house for $6 million. They're like, it was what? It was meant to be $300,000. You wanted the house, I did. It's all my money.

Let's welcome Vicky to New Zealand's Breakfast. Morena, how are you, Vic? Good morning. Good to have you on. What was the big life moment you missed out on? It was a wedding. It wasn't our own, no. My ex-husband and I had just gotten engaged and we were going to a family wedding. We thought, our own, though. My ex-husband and I had just gotten engaged, and we were going to a family wedding. We thought, oh, this is going to be awesome. We'll get ideas. And then we were waiting for his sister to get ready,

and we were waiting and waiting and waiting, and we rocked up at the wedding. It was at an area of trees and stuff, and then we noticed the bride and groom walk across the road and realised that they'd just gotten married so we'd missed the whole ceremony. But we thought, it's okay, okay, we missed the ceremony we'll go to the reception and we'll get lots of ideas. So we went to the wedding reception and we sat down at our table and on the centrepiece of the table they had these beautiful candles

and my sister-in-law was sitting next to me at the time and she was drinking red wine and I had this beautiful cream dress on with a little bit of floral on it and then we were saying, oh, we're going to listen to speeches and get ideas and then they said their first speech and they did cheers and my sister-in-law did cheers and she knocked the candle and then realised she knocked the candle

and so went to grab it but all the wax from the candle and her red wine went all over my dress. Oh, waxy, such a, you never want a boiling hot candle wax poured on you unless you're paying top dollar. There we go.

So they took me upstairs and while I was trying to get changed we missed all the speeches and then came down to a finished dinner. Oh, there you go. So you've missed basically all the important pivotal parts of a wedding. Thanks to your sister-in-law. I hope she looked fantastic because she took a while getting ready.

And on the plus side, thanks to the candle wax, you were waterproof for the remainder of the day. Hey Vic, you go and have a great day. Appreciate for the remainder of the day. Yeah, that's good. Look at the bonus. Hey, Vic, you go and have a great day. Appreciate it. We'll get Maggie on from Geraldine.

Welcome. How are you? Hi, guys. How are you? We're doing well. Big life moment you missed out on, Mags? Well, me and my fiance actually missed our own engagement party. Oh, your own engagement party?

Yeah, we lived down in Geraldine and we're volunteer firefighters. And we were getting ready to go to the party and got called out for a scrub fire. Oh, it's almost worth letting the bush burn down, isn't it? Not if you're a volunteer firefighter, Jotty. So, but the party went on without you? So, the party went on without us. We got there right at the very end. But, you know, everyone else had had a lot of fun without us. You're covered in soot and you've got your firefighting uniforms on.

Turned up in our uniform. Oh, that's a great excuse to miss a party, though. It's better than being stuck at the Huntley Speedway like I missed my 21st. Very true. You're going to have a great Wednesday, Maggie. Appreciate you listening to the show. We'll get Paddy on. Welcome, Paddy.

The big life moment that you missed out on. And it's this right here. He's like the radio show. He blew it. This was the big time. Not you missed out on. And it's this right here. He's left that radio show. He blew it. This was the big time. Not many people get to come on here. You're right. This was going to send Paddy to Hollywood.

He was going to become the new KJ Apa or Taika Waititi, but no longer. Yeah, another big moment. This is it. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. We had lunch with a friend of ours the other day, and he was like, oh, you like my sunglasses, Jeremy.

And I said, yeah, they're nice sunglasses. He's like, they're in that sweet four-to-eight-week case window. And I said, what's the four-to-eight-week case window? He's like, you know when you get brand-new sunglasses and you care for them tenderly, you know, you get brand new sunglasses and you care for them tenderly you know you wrap them in the wipe cloth you put them away every night in the case and you store the case gently and he's like i'll give that about a four to eight week period it's like getting a new phone or something you're like oh you're very careful with the first little

bit oh i do yeah and you aren't you when you pull it out of the box you're sort of like rafiki lifting up simba yeah and you get the plastic cover for the screen and eventually you start to care less and less about the phone yeah uh like when you just throw it at the wall or i literally i use mine to open bottles it sounds like a joke you do i'd say a great bottle over your phone yeah but that's sort of uh that's after about two months with the phone, isn't it? You start to lose. But yeah, same with phone and sunglasses. The longer that you have them, the less you care for them. Like children.

Eventually your sunglasses and your phone, they fend for themselves. What I found out about, because we caught up the other day with a friend you were talking about, there was four of us, there was a couple of friends. He kept getting quite annoyed that the conversations would break off and we wouldn't be part of the other conversation because often you'd get two on two. So the conversation is like, we need to sync up back into the group, the one conversation.

Yeah. Just try, because I'd be trying to talk to him. You can tell he was sort of half listening to the other one going, oh, they're talking about, you know, almost like he was. He wanted a four-way chat, but yeah. Didn't want to miss out on anything. Yeah, the group kept splitting off to two-on-two. It did keep splitting off.

And then you'd mix up who you were splitting off two-on-two with. But you're in a four-person table chat. You can never run a diagonal conversation. It needs to be a direct opposite chat. It needs to be either the person next to you or straight across you. Yeah, right. Like if you're sitting diagonally opposite me, I couldn't spark a... We couldn't have a two-way diagonal conversation crossing over each other.

Yeah. It would just be weird. Everyone would need to get involved then, but it was really... I could tell it was upsetting our friend over there. Well, he did multiple times. He's like, we need to sync this back up. Get this back into a full person. We're running parallel conversations, guys.

We need to get it all going on at the same time. But they were different topics. They were. They were. They were. Maybe you and who you were talking to didn't want to talk about what, you know, how long his sunglasses were in a case for. Maybe you had mentally checked out of the inane sunglass banter. Oh, that's what they're talking about.

I'm going over here. Now to more important issues. This vaccine rollout. New Zealand's breakfast. This is Jono and Ben on the hits. Good morning, New Zealand. Welcome along to the show. Wednesday morning.

Hey, guys. Morena. Juliet, you all right? I'm right. I'm good. Now, Ben, I've got some audio to play to you first thing off. I know this is a lot. Coming in full steam blazing here to the show today.

Because I had mentioned to you in passing on Monday that I bumped into a gentleman who works at the casino behind the desk. I pass him every morning. Right. And, you know, I just talk to people. Yeah. And he said, do you know what? I'm from Japan, and I learnt English from watching your old sketches on the internet.

Oh, from John Lennon on the TV show? Yeah, and you were like, no. And I was like, yes. And you were like no and I was like yes and you were like no we did that for about 20 minutes and this morning I got audio evidence for you to prove it this is a Tosha now I'm with ET you tell Ben what what you learned from us okay hi Ben I'm Itaro from Japan when I came here New Zealand I didn't know nothing about English or New Zealand but I learned English from Jon and Ben. Which is very disturbing Itaro.

Which is very disturbing. You must have learned some horrible words. Yeah, which is a good experience. I know you guys. Lovely guy. So there's evidence, what more do you want? Yeah, well, there we go. Do you want me to wheel him out, bring him in here? So you don't necessarily need a course? Yeah, no. But, you know, I would advise taking English classes

and not watching our internet videos to learn English because I can't even speak English properly. Ben and Jono call this show Jono and Ben. Breakfast on the Hefts Don't you hate it when you lose Your car keys or your cell phone And I'm not a good search I wouldn't be good in a search and rescue

Situation How about yourself, are you good at finding stuff I'm good at remembering where stuff was Often if it wasn't mine But you always It does seem to be a bit of a panic it does because you're like okay we'll calmly retrace your steps but i retrace two steps and i panic full-blown panic but i couldn't find them anywhere in a rush to go out last night

and uh then jen was like oh you emptied the bins would it be in the rubbish bin and so then i start rifling through both bins we've got two bins you're recycling then you've got your general waste bin and even though i've created all of this rubbish it's still the most disgusting act that you can do you know yeah it's like well this is all my fault i've done all this stuff but then i'm pulling through oh it's just pretty low doesn't that when you're rising through the rubbish yeah if you're going through a rubbish bin, there's better points in life, isn't there? That's probably your last option, really, isn't it? The keys could be, here we go, the rubbish bin.

Yeah, but you always like to say, when you see someone rifling through a rubbish bin, you're like, well, they're down on their luck. They might not be. They might just be looking for their car keys. And people rifle through bins must find some gold every now and then. It's a numbers game, though, isn't it? I mean, not every rubbish bin's going to have a necklace or something in it. But the more rubbish bins you go through... Especially if you intentionally go through wealthy suburbs rubbish bins,

then you might be more likely to find something that they'd throw out. I imagine skip bins would be quite appealing outside people's properties. True. Because that's a free for all. We spoke to a guy who lives in Tauranga. All of his food is provided from supermarket skid bins. Wow. They throw out the expired product.

He's like, it's still good. So he goes dumpster diving. Wow. Feeds him, his family, all his friends do it. Wonderful stuff, isn't it? Wow. I've had a very checkered history with dumpsters over the years i just have an excess of rubbish and i kind of just try and distribute it you seem to be i don't

know how much rubbish you're creating but i think you're responsible for i go to the like i go to the dump and they're like back again i've never i could remember the last time i went to the dump like would be a decade i went to the dump for the first time like two weeks ago. I was like, wow, this is a really good experience. How much rubbish is at the dump? It's crazy. So much. I've probably contributed half. You're always there.

I got caught throwing stuff in a lady's dumpster behind a shop, and she was not happy. Oh, no. She said this was worse than dumping animals. And I said to her, well, I don't know if it's in the same category. But it wasn't the same category, but yeah, it wasn't the right thing to say back to someone who was in that anger, you know, state of anger at that time because it only inflamed the situation. I shouldn't have done it, but I couldn't help myself. And Ben, you got in trouble for dumping rubbish in your neighbour's

bin, remember? Don't you come out of here all high and mighty with this rubbish distribution. Yeah, I did. I did. And there was a guy his rubbish distribution. Yeah, I did, I did. And there was a guy on the road and this thing wasn't even half full. It was the day he headed out on the curb ready for rubbish and he still made me take it out. So he caught you putting in and you're like, sorry, I'm full, I saw yours was empty. Yeah, that's right.

I'll take it out. And he's like, good. I was like, do you really want me to do it? He's like, yeah. Oh, come on. So annoying. Do you know the worst thing was my car keys weren't even in the rubbish. I went through all you really want me to do it? He's like, yeah. Oh, come on. So annoying. Do you know the worst thing was my car keys

weren't even in the rubbish. I went through all of the rubbish. Where were they? Oh, they were in my pocket in my pants upstairs. Kia ora. I'm Rachel Jackson-Lees

and this is The B**** News. Rightio. Now to producer Juliet for The News and Beeps. No. You know, we like to say this is a family-friendly show. We even censor stuff that doesn't need to be censored. That's how friendly to families this program is.

All right, you've got to guess these headlines. Doctor shares skin pinch test that will tell of your d*** in seconds. I'm going to say doctor shares skin pinch test that will tell if you're annoyed with the doctor for pinching your skin within 10 seconds. That's probably pretty true. Okay, so doctor shares skin pinch test to tell if you're taking part in the pinch of the punch for the first of the month. Which, I don't know, can you do that in 2021? Pinching and punching? True.

You probably have to consent to it, I imagine. I think you can just say it, you know? It's kind of got to the point where you just say it, you don't actually do the actions. As a kid, it's one of those things, eh? Oh, yeah, totally. And some punches, sorry, Julie, some punches would really come in, wouldn't they, with some heat. They were in the schoolyard.

Oh, yeah. Oh, shit. Oh, some people would come up to me, not me specifically, but it was a thing where you'd walk up to me and be like, can I give you a dead arm? And you're like, no. And then you just, like, punch them as hard as you could on the arm, and it would really hurt. I told Ben it was not appropriate yesterday.

No one likes his dead arms around the office. The workplace bully. Right, the result of this headline. Dr. Shear's skin pinch test that will tell if you're dehydrated in seconds. So this is quite interesting. On the top of your finger where the sort of joint is, you just pinch it. And if it goes down straight away, it means you're hydrated.

But if your skin stays up in a little pinch, you know, form, it means you're dehydrated. Jono, you're awfully dehydrated. Oh, my God. It's still pinched up. Yeah, and that's because when you're dehydrated, your skin loses. You drink a lot of liquid. Yeah, I know. I know. I think I'm okayed up. Yeah, and that's because when you're dehydrated, your skin loses... You drink a lot of liquid. Yeah, I know. I know. I think I'm okay.

She slams back 30 litres. She's the problem. She is the reason Auckland has a water shortage. Julia, it's all in her system. Oh, my God. Oh, my gosh. Yours is so bad. You need to drink more water.

I do. Do you have what yours like, Ben? Yeah, mine's not that much better, to be honest. It stays up there for a bit. So, yeah, yeah. It's all that... No, what it is, all the caffeine in there. It's just getting a little ping to be honest. It stays up there for a bit. So, yeah, yeah. Now, what it is, all the caffeine in there, it's just getting a little ping to my skin.

It's awake, I'm ready to bounce. Next news story, Chinese Police Academy auctioning off dogs who are too f***ed for law enforcement. I was going to say, we've said it a lot recently, we're too humpy for law enforcement. We're talking about my dog being a little bit that way, inclined. Previously, not anymore.

Let's not shame him. Well, you can't go humping the criminals, can you? It's bad luck. I'm going to say the Chinese Police Academy is auctioning off dogs who are too incompetent to hold a gun with their paws during a search warrant. Chinese Police Academy auctioning off dogs who are too friendly for law enforcement. It's so cute. So 54 of these dogs didn't make it through the program.

These dogs demonstrated timid personalities, physical weakness, failure to follow instructions, and refusing to bite when prompted. But the bidding, I was reading, each dog starts at about $30, and these are like German shepherds. Lovely nature. Trained and have lovely natures. True. Yeah.

But that's quite cheap for a German shepherd, isn't it? That is really good. Yeah, I'm on the list for a dog, a you know, a blind dog, guide dog that doesn't meet the mark. Yes. And this is what I keep telling the kids. We're on the list. We're on the list. It's a very long list.

It's a very long list. But if someone else could do all the training and heavy lifting, that's ideal. Wonderful. Because, Ben, you were in charge of training Bo. Yeah. How's that turned out for you? Well, not great. Not great.

It's amazing that when you have food, he's suddenly like, oh, we'll do what? Yes. Back flips. Yeah. You're like, mate, where's all this? He's doing the vacuuming. Where's all this? And the final news story, flying BMW car completes.

I'm going to say flying BMW car completes complete look for all BMW drivers to officially look like wankers. It's just Stone's Glass House as I drive an Audi, so it probably shouldn't be. I'm the most wanker of all the Auckland wankers. I'm going to say Flying BMW Car completes Marty McFly's trip back to the future. Wasn't that one of the flying cars in that movie? Flying BMW Car completes 100km flight between two cities. So it was a 35-minute journey in the air in Slovakia, which would take an hour on the road if you were actually driving it.

So it halves the time of driving on the road, but it's flying. It's the first, I think, prototype that they've actually put in the air. So what happens when you land on the road with your wings out wide? Are you taking out all the other cars on the opposite side of the road and everyone parked? That's a good question. They probably have to make specific roads for flying cars to land, I'd say. But yeah, you just bring in the wings to then drive it normally. Isn't that cool?

Listen, I don't know if, as a society, society, we're ready to fly cars. I'm just going to chuck it out there. No. I can't even trust myself on the road. No, no, yeah. Let alone as a pilot. I know, I know. Everyone would just go, hey, whoa.

You'd be texting and flying. True. And that is the news and beeps for you. The Google Game. A little game we like to play where you give us a call and you throw us under some unnecessary pressure, 10 seconds to Google the answer to whatever question you want to ask us. And ironically, given it's Google, the answer to every question is,

you have cancer. Well, yeah. I was actually just looking before at some of the things that Reddit did a bit of a forum on things you should never Google. And that's obviously one of the things people say, never Google symptoms if you've got something, obviously it lends to cancer yeah well but usually it lends to something that maybe you don't have but it gives you a bit of a you know a bit of a shock other things involved uh don't google your email address because sometimes you find out what

what sort of uh spam accounts and and things that your address has been used on and other things i want to google my email address now. Wouldn't you want to use it? I want to Google it as well. And there's lots of things like mouth lava. Don't Google that, apparently, because I haven't. And your favourite food if you're hungry is something else, because obviously it makes you more hungry.

True. Just seeing pictures of your favourite food. Yeah, there's always those ones where people are like, oh, Google this thing with the blue, and you're like, oh, and you do it. Yeah. You know you shouldn't do it. Yeah. But you can't help yourself. It's like, all I want to do is Google my email address now, Ben. Well, even if it does in some ways, it seems to probably make

sense. Yeah, wouldn't that be useful information to know? Yeah, like if your email has been used somewhere else for some sort of data, you know, breaching data, you'd be like, oh, hey, I need to, but anyway, I'm not going to do it, but you can. Like if I'm using Ben's email to do all my online shopping and his credit card, would he like to know this information? Yeah.

Okay, so 800-THIS, that's the number you can get us on this morning, New Zealand. Give us a call. Ask us a question. If we can't Google the answer and get it for you in 10 seconds, you win. It's a reverse game show where the contestants ask the hosts the questions. They don't even need to know the answers. No.

Yeah, you don't see this on the chase, do you? It is the hit. The Google Game. A game we like to play. You can give us a call right now if you want to win a prize. We've got some hell pizza up for grabs. Just give us a call, 0800 the hits, and ask us any question at all. And if we can't Google the answer within 10 seconds, you win.

Some other things, I was just Googling here before. Actually Googling. It's quite weird to Google questions that are hard to answer on Google. But here's something for you, apparently. Let's see if you can find this out. Why does a round pizza come in a square box? Round pizza come in a square box. Here we go.

The answer. I've got to get it in 10 seconds. Square box for round pizza means that the dough stops in the corners and cannot slide all over the place. Having a square box for round pizza is a good idea for helping pizza get to its destination in one piece. Oh, there you go. Well done. It was possible to Google that, so I don't know what Google was telling me there.

Although a square pizza wouldn't slide around. No. If a square pizza in a square box, it would just comfortably be sitting within the confines of the... You're right, actually. You are right. Okay, we've got Jane on from Wellington. Welcome, Jane. How are you?

Good, how are you, Morena? Morena, it's you. Up early. Up and at them. Up and at them. All right, what's your question? Ask us a question. Juliet, you can do the Googling.

Oh, God. We've got 10 seconds to get the answer. That's the confidence we like from June. Cool. What fingernail grows the fastest? Ooh. What fingernail grows the fastest? If I was going to pick one, I'd go your forefinger. Your middle nail. Really?

I think so. God, do you want to see how I spelt? You get quite shouty when this game is on. No, it's a panic. I get it. Do you want to know how I spelt grows in my hurry? I spelt it F-E-O-Q-W-S. And Google's still...

Still knew what you were doing. Yeah. Even in your shouting. You don't even have a basic... Can't clock on. I love the panic, Julia. Listen, Jane, sorry. You got the answer in 10 seconds.

You miss out for the Google games this morning. No worries. Thank you very much for participating. Appreciate it. Do you think... Here's a question. Do your fingernails... Google this one, Ben.

I'll give you 10 seconds. Do what grows quicker, your fingernails or your toenails? Panic Googling at its finest. Thankfully, it is a speed typing course. Your toenails grow much more slowly than your fingernails. There you go. I would have thought because my rotation of cutting both. According to a study.

They're only coming in every fortnight. Fingernails on average, this is a study someone took the time. The University of North Carolina, fingernails on average grow 3.47 millimetres a month. Toenails grow 1.62 millimetres per month. So almostails grow 1.62 millimetres

per month. So almost double, yeah, pretty much double. Fingernails grow double the speed of your toenails. We were doing a topic on the radio, champagne, you know, what's the quirkiest collection you have? And someone phoned up saying they had jars and

jars of their nails, both. Hand and feet, hand and feet nails. That's right. Hand and feet. Hand and feet nails. Have you ever smelled a toenail? No. Give it a go once. I just advise it once. Once you've cut it off.

It is. If it is your own toenail, you're still like, ugh. It's weird, but then you keep smelling it going, oh, that's disturbing, but I can't stop. Oh, God. Okay. All right. Scrolling through your feed Actually just before we get into scrolling through your feed

We were talking just previously about the pizza Why you got me to google why The pizza box is square And the pizza is round And someone said Why don't they make the pizza boxes Circular on the text machine 4487 And I looked at that

Or the pizza square you were saying as well Or you could do an alternate on that. The pizza box is mass produced and cheaper to make square. So circle's not an option. And then the other thing, you know that funny little table that's jammed into the middle of the pizza? The plastic table? Looks like a mini table.

Like a mini table? Oh, yes. With legs on it. Yeah, sometimes you get that, yeah. Do you know what that's for? I thought it was for just keeping the pizza together. Right. But it's so the box doesn't crush down and then your cheese sticks to the top of the...

Oh. It's called a pizza saver. Oh, there you go. I've just been eating tiny little meals off that table. A little table. Little Stuart Little type meals. Who's coming over for dinner? What adorable little creatures coming over for dinner?

Who's sitting at this little table? Well, speaking of things from the food industry, McDonald's in Chicago, they're trialing out a voice recognition system. So they've been doing this for a little bit through their drive-thrus. So automated voice activated technology. So not even having a person there

where you can go up to your drive-thru. And I think it's been working. They reckon about 85% accurate. And that's pretty much, I would say, how voice automation is for the world at the moment. That's about 80% to 85% accurate. So they say one in five orders needs a little help from an actual human being.

But they're also working on the staff because I think the staff obviously wanted to get in there quite quickly. They're like, no, no, let the robot sort it out. But yeah, really interesting. And there's other restaurants in America. So I went down the sort of Google rabbit hole. There's a restaurant in California where robots flip the burgers. And they reckon they can grill up to 150 burgers an hour flipping the burgers.

And then there's a restaurant in Boston which employs seven automated walks to cook the food and zero human chefs. And who would have thought unemployment would be at an all-time high? Not me. You wouldn't have picked it. Oh, yeah. You wouldn't have picked it. What is going to happen?

Producer Humphrey was talking about this during the song. To all of these jobs, if everything's becoming automated, what do these people do? Prostitution? That's lucrative for you. It does go right. But you could say, we're getting that automation, you know, with robots and artificial intelligence improves food safety. Robots are easier to clean.

They're never sick. You know, like, they're reliable employees. But it kind of takes away, you know. But let's all agree, robots are way better than us. They're a better class of... Classic Terminator. They're going to destroy us all, right? But I know they're going to come back and cook us meals at fast food restaurants.

Do you know the voice automation thing really came to get me yesterday? I told you I had to go and fix my son's school. They make them all learn instruments, and he, thankfully, has been given the saxophone. What a wonderful instrument. And, boy, that's quite a journey, living in a household of an amateur saxophonist. Or saxophonist. Anyway, I had to go get the case repaired.

And I text, voice automated text, Jen, I'm off to the sax shop. Now, you know what. Oh, yeah. Yeah? It sort of, it sent that I was heading to another establishment with less than savoury motives. You were just asking for it.

Yeah, you were asking for it. Why was I asking for that? Well, of course you're using voice automation to text there. I mean, even I could have seen that. I mean, eyebrows were raised for my wife. She said, you're going where? And then I confidently replied back because I was driving. My eyes were on the road.

I said, I'm going to the sex shop. And she's like, okay, well then, will you be done at the sex shop in time to pick up the children? Or do you want me to do it? So that's voice automation, again, 80 to 85% correct. It was like my phone was just refusing to hear me. It was sent on prank mode. I was like, did ben set this on my iphone on prank because it knows where you're actually going the hits travel edition the hits live free travel edition is back and thanks to south australian tourism your chance to win a five thousand dollar travel voucher each week on the

hits and you can spend that anytime you any you want, anywhere you want to go. Who are we to tell you when to spend your $5,000 travel voucher? That's not on us, Ben, but it could be on you, Antonia. How are you, mate? Hey, I'm good, I'm good. How are you guys? I'm doing well. Antonia, you're up early.

You tell me what you're doing. I'm literally sitting in an on-ramp to get onto more traffic to get to work. That sounds fun. It does. Is that one of those, the light situations where you have to wait for the green light to sort of merge into the motorway?

No, I think I am at one of those, but the lights aren't going, so I think it's even too early for the lights. Jono hates those. He never waits for the green light. He's like, I hate these things. Oh, you're one of those people. He's one of those people. I'm like, mate, they're there, so

they don't clog up. I don't think I've ever once waited for that light. I just mow straight through it. Yeah. Are you one of those guys? Yes, I am, Antonia. What do you mean? A competent driver who feels like they're pointless to our roading system? More entitled driver.

We're not here for an old man to ramble on about his thoughts. All those things are for. Keep the traffic. You know what I mean? And even when I'm... You know the worst thing is, Antonia, when I'm going through an intersection and Ben's like, the light's red, I'm like, mate, it's green somewhere in the world.

And I keep going. He's like, you can't run... Anyway, hey, $5,000 thanks to South Australia Tourism, Stone the Flaming Crows. Stick that in your koala and smoke a kangaroo. That could be all yours with Stace, Mike and Anika on Friday, Antonia. Oh, that'd be awesome. You could go from Avondale to Adelaide at your heart's content.

Yes, if I can get to the tap again. Yeah, finally get onto that motorway. Have yourself a great day. You do me a favour. Thank you. Don't wait for that green light, Antonia. You take it. All right.

We've got some spy entertainment news on the way. Yeah, an Australian magazine is copping heat for possibly the worst clickbaiting, and it is to do with Stone the Flaming Crows. I'll get to it next. It is the hits. Spy. No WhatsApp.

Spy.co.nz. Now, Producer Juliet, she pulled me aside after the show yesterday, and she said, Now producer Juliet she pulled me aside after the show yesterday and she said this is my dream job and I said you should have dreamed bigger but she's stuck here with us reading Spy Entertainment News, what's happening?

So Britney Spears' long time manager of 25 years has resigned this is because Britney intends to retire he says and she's retiring because she refuses to perform or make music years has resigned. This is because Britney intends to retire, he says, and she's retiring because she refuses to perform or make music under the current conservatorship that she's under.

Oh, because if she does so, then the money goes straight into her father's control. Yeah, yeah, and so essentially he's not really needed and he hasn't spoken to her for about two and a half years because she hasn't been performing since then. So it kind of makes sense that he's resigning from that role because if she's not going to be performing,

she doesn't really need a manager. And Brittany's lawyer is also going to be resigning from the conservatorship case. He's quitting because he somehow failed to file the paperwork needed to end the conservatorship, even though Brittany specifically asked for that to happen. That was sloppy admin on the lawyer's page. Did you do the paperwork?

The what? I know. The paperwork you were going to do last week. Oh, the paperwork. I have it right here. Especially when the whole world is watching, you think of all the cases to be right across. Yeah, I know.

So Brittany's team are dropping like flies, it seems. Yeah, well, and for good reason, though. If she's not doing anything, then why do they need to be there? Very good point. Why does she need to pay all these people around her? That's the other thing, too, and I guess you get to a level of that success. You've got the feeders, don't you, hanging around you, lingering around. Very true.

Mooching. Yeah. You know, you've got mooches around you. Ben, I try and fend all those mooches off but he's... It would be hard though in that, you know, if you're an uber celebrity like that to know who your real friends were. Totally. You know, the people that come onto the scene later.

That would be very hard. I was actually, that reminds me, Willow Smith, so Will and Jada Pinkett Smith's daughter, she said that when she was younger, her and her friends would all go to Disneyland or her friends would invite her, let's say let's go to Disneyland and then they just kind of, when they went for lunch or buying the tickets, they'd just kind of

sit there and wait and expected Willow to pay because Willow had all this money and she spoke about that and she said it was kind of weird because just because I was the one invited to Disneyland, I didn't come up with the idea like why was it assumed that I would be paying?

You're going to be paying just because your parents are wealthy. Well, you know, Ben, you would have opted for a split bill situation. Yeah. And then you would have said, well, you're Willow Smith. You can pay most of the split bill. I know who your parents are. Get out your

EFTPOS card. And in other news, we all know that clickbait is very annoying, but we all get sucked into it. You get stuck in your clickbait wormholes, Jono. Daily, daily, mate. It's a shocking addiction of mine. Hey, can I just say, we've still got Antonia on the phone from before, too, who we spoke to

about nine hours ago. Let's go to Antonia. Antonia, are you still there? She's still there. This is a live update of have were waiting on the motorway. Well, no, this is a live update. Have you merged onto the motorway yet from your own? Motorway, yes.

You're on the motorway. Oh, great. That's what we wanted to know. That's why we had you on hold. Yeah. Now, if you can keep holding there for another three hours, we might get around to getting your details. We just want to make sure you get to work safely as well.

So just keep us updated. That'd be good. Throughout the show today, we'll find out if Antonia makes it to work on time. Okay, I'll put you back on hold now, Antonia. Anyway, so Australian magazine on the topic of clickbait has copped some heat for a clickbait post they did on Facebook involving Ray Ma, who plays Alf Stewart on Home and Away. If you don't know who he is, just imagine a younger looking version of me. True, very true. They posted a picture of him with the caption

The whole cast and crew love you very much. Tributes are flowing in for Home and Away's most iconic star. When you read that caption with a photo of him you're kind of like, tributes? What? Is he dead? But no, it was actually just his 77th birthday that they were celebrating.

Oh, he's basically dead. And everyone just was not happy with the level of clickbait. People were like, you know, don't give the whole of Australia a collective heart attack. And that is what... Because Ray's going to have one next week. No, we met him a couple of times. He is...

He's lovely. Oh my God. What? He is almost on screen. He is off screen. Really? Is he incredible? You'd want him to be your granddad.

Now, we did a thing because we were working for TV3 at the time. Remember that? And TV3 had Home and Away, and then they no longer had Home and Away. It went to TVNZ, and it was like the biggest show on TV3. It went to TVNZ. It was basically keeping TV3 afloat. Yeah, it was huge. And so he was in the country, outside.

So we came up to him with a bouquet of flowers like, we want you back. You know, he didn't know us from anywhere. And he was very polite about it. Took the flowers, had a laugh with us. And then he remembered like, I think a year later we were talking to Maria. He was like, you jokers came up to me with the flowers. I mean, yeah, it was like, wow. Said you bloody flaming mongrels.

Stoned the flaming crows. Yeah, he's like, yeah, I remember that. Yeah, he had a good laugh about it. That's pretty cool. And apparently the other, the cast on Home and Away just yeah he's like I remember that yeah he had a good laugh about it that's pretty cool apparently the other cast on Home and Away just say he's like the show's dad you know

and he will just politely sit in his car in the car park read his script come out and do his scene go back to his car and just sit

just like a lovely old man outside the lawn bowls club comfortably parked comfortably parked and then just goes and does his work and goes back oh

bless his soul r.i.p raymar r.i.p he's not dead and that is five and more you can head to the hits.co.nz uh it is it's you got jonah on bed new zealand's breakfast this is jonah and ben it is a wednesday morning here with jonah and ben now on friday we're doing something very exciting uh thanks to the new movie Space Jam, a new legacy. It's in cinemas this Friday. And one lucky family are going to have 10 shots, 10 basketball shots for $10,000. Yeah, but every shot that they miss,

we will then give to the first caller on 0800 that hits. Yeah. So it's a win-win. You know, potentially the family could win $10,000 or potentially you, savage people listening to this show, doing nothing, could win $10,000. Or potentially you, savage people listening to this show, doing nothing, could steal $10,000 from a family. This is what I love. This is what I love about radio.

Soulless. It's got no scruples. And now producer Humphrey is Bee Humps. Our lovely producer Humps. Check him out. Yeah, now you this morning as well as producing the radio show, you're also trying to produce something up for us after the show. What is it? Yeah, so I'm currently building a kit set basketball hoop. And might I say, if I could coin a phrase,

you're dropping the ball on the production of the radio show this morning. We just had a lady on hold for an hour and a half. How's the flat pack going though? She's happy. She's in the draw for the competition. How hard is it to do a flat? I mean, flat pack at the best of times is a stressful situation.

But during a radio show, what's... Hey, look, it's not too bad. What would have been helpful if we had purchased a slightly more high-end piece that the tools would have actually fit? So currently I'm working with Allen keys and spanners that don't actually fit the nuts and bolts of the kit set. I've cut myself trying to... Blood, sweat and tears are going into this basketball hoop. I had to put together

a basketball hoop with my father-in-law and he almost wanted to divorce me from the family. It was three days, it took three days. It was a three days bonanza. Somehow we managed to put the hoop and backboard on upside down. That's good enough. That'll do. He can play basketball upside down But anyway we'll keep you up to date With the production of this basketball hoop Yeah now you can win

Maybe some part of our $10,000 The 10 shots for 10k It's happening thanks to Space Jam A new legacy in cinemas on Friday It is the hits You got Jono and Ben Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime

Just search Jono and Ben. You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Woohoo! 5 words for 5k on the hits. You're only 5 words away from a massive payday. Alright, let's rip into it. You should know how it works right now. A game of word association. Match your 5 words and someone walks away with 5 grand. I love it how you say

you should know how it works but then you politely explain. Well, I didn't go in depth on how it worked. It was kind of like half-heartedly. It's a very stressful and exciting time for the show. It's almost as stressful and exciting to figure out if we can go to the toilet, wash our hands, and get back by the end of a three-minute ping-song. There's much stress.

Let's welcome from Okura. Gemma, you're on the air. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Good morning. Thank you for having me. It's great to have you on. Now, you work at the Green School in Taranaki. That is right, yeah. I came here from, I moved here from Hong Kong to work at the Green School. So this is, I'm looking on your website here, the Green School is a school that's nurtured green leaders, leaders who shape their own future, teach students about sustainability.

Oh that's cool. That is correct. Yeah, we have a really big focus on regeneration and sustainability, whether that's through looking after the planet, looking after yourself, or looking after each other. Oh, that is really awesome. What a great... I'll tell you what, bloody old James Shaw and Marta McDavidson

will be frothing over your school. Well, tell them they're very welcome any time. They can come and froth in person. That's lovely. All right, well, who do you want to pick to go inside the soundproof booth and hopefully match up five words with you? Jono, please. All right.

Hesitantly. Hesitant there, Gemma. He's the best of three pretty terrible options. All right, Jono's made his way over to the soundproof booth, shutting the door now. All right, Gemma, here is your first word this morning. What pops into your head when I say puppy? Puppy.

Dog. Puppy, dog. Next word this morning is stubble. S-T-U-B-B-L-E, stubble. Beard. Beard. Nice. Producer Julia, are you matching up with me so far?

Yeah, I am. Fitness is your third word. Gemma, fitness. The first word that goes into my head is freak, but I don't know. I don't know if Johnna's thinking along those lines. Gym. Gym, all right. I'm guessing, well, gym, G-Y-M, I'm guessing that's what you mean.

Not just a guy named Gym who's a fitness freak. Aromatherapy is the fourth word this morning. Aromatherapy. Aromatherapy. Aromatherapy oils. Oils. Oh, yes. And mustard is your final word this morning.

Mustard. Mustard. Mustard. That's a random one. What would Jono say? You don't really put mustard on hot dogs here, do you? But you're right. But that's one of the things you think of with mustard, isn't it? Yeah.

Not trying to sway you. Mustard. What are those? Sandwich? Sandwich? Mustard sandwich. Oh, is that the final answer? Sauce.

No, hang on. Now my brain's gone mad. No, it's hard when you get those options sort of coming through your brain. Yeah. Mustard. Let's just go sandwich. I don't know. Okay, mustard sandwich.

Okay, here we go. I'm going to lock in sandwich. All right, Gemma, well done. Well played. There was a couple of difficult ones. I'm going to get Jono out of the soundproof booth. Hey, how are you? And we'll see if you match up the five words.

Jeez, my stomach. When you're in a dead cold soundproof booth, my stomach is gurgling up a storm this morning. It's disturbing. Because it knows it's not eating until the night. Oh, please. It's almost like it knows it's got a quiet word to load with you. You're like, can we have a word, mate?

Please feed me. It's like a deep sea creature. All right, Gemma, let's see how many windmills we can get you. It's the green school there, okay? Oh, I'd love that. All right, the first word we said to Gemma, let's see how many windmills we can get you. It's the green school there, okay? Oh, I'd love that. Alright, the first word we said to Gemma this morning was puppy. Puppy dog? We are one

from five. Well done. Well done, Jono. Our next word, stubble. You'd go beard? Gemma. There we go. We're on a roll here. Oh, God.

Here we go. Fitness. Fitness is the third word this morning. Fitness. Gym. Yay. Oh, nice. All right.

Gemma. We, uh, hey, mate, is anyone at the school now? Yes, there will be people at the school. I should be at the school. Oh, you should be at the school. yes there will be people at school i should be at the school oh you should be at the school we're holding you up hurry up i'm sorry okay we'll go quickly uh aromatherapy is the fourth word this morning aromatherapy would you go oh geez aromatherapy. Almost go like odour, like smell, odour. Oh, Gemma.

I don't know why I'm yelling your name. This is my fault. What did you go? I said oils, aromatherapy oils. Oh, I'm sorry. And the final one was quite a tricky one, Jono. Mustard, mustard. Mustard, Iard. Mustard.

I'd go probably sandwich. Four out of five. Gemma. Hey, don't worry about it. Oh, Gemma. Hopefully we get to do it again. I hope I get to do it again someday. Hey, listen, if you guys are ever down the Taranaki way,

come and look us up at the Green School. We'd love to have you. Oh, that sounds awesome. What a great thing you're doing. And you keep up the great work. That's a wonderful initiative you've got going on there. Thank you very much. If people want to find out more about it, here we are on the website, greenschool.org. Go to greenschool.org.

We're on all social media. Just give us a call. We've got an open door policy and everyone's welcome to come down and check us out. You're doing great work there, Gemma. Keep it up. Thanks for listening. Spy.

The What's Up by Docco.nz. Now, Producer Juliet, she gets up at four o'clock every morning and wakes up her entire flat. And when they confront you, I hope you tell them it's all worthwhile because you're doing it. Yes. To report on Kim Kardashian's latest shapewear g-string for toddlers. And that makes it all worthwhile.

It definitely does. Now, in the Friends reunion, you may remember James Corden asking the cast what their least favourite part or aspect of the show was when they were filming it. And David Schwimmer did not hide the fact that he really disliked Marcel the monkey. Obviously, it was trained, and it had to hit its mark and do its thing right at the perfect time. But what inevitably began to happen was we would all have choreographed bits kind of timed out, and it would get messed up

because the monkey didn't do its job right. The trainer would come up and just open and give the monkey live grubs to eat. So I'd have monkey grubby hands all over, all over. So he wasn't a fan of the monkey. He's quite wound up about the monkey. So you know, usually it's the monkeys throwing the crap at people, but it was Schwimmer doing it to the monkey this time. But now, a few months after the reunion, the trainer of that monkey, Marcel, has spoken

out against the despicable David Schwimmer. He basically explained that the first couple of episodes Schwimmer was pretty good with the monkey, pretty happy, but after that he seemed to get a little bitter about Marcel being there, because Marcel would seem to get all of the laughs, and David wouldn't, and so he got a bit jealous of the monkey, he seemed to get a little bitter about Marcel being there because Marcel would seem to get all of the laughs and David wouldn't.

And so he got a bit jealous of the monkey, it seemed. Oh, I see. He was taking all the limelight, stealing the show. Yeah, and so the relationship between Marcel and David Schwimmer just wasn't very good. And the trainer of this monkey has said, him still talking ill about the monkey all these years later seems pretty childish to me.

And now, obviously, the monkey has passed away. Yeah, he's talking ill of a deceased monkey. That's what he said. How lotus. He's just defending the honour of this monkey. So the monkey trainer is not very happy with David Schwimmer's comments, unfortunately. Is the monkey trainer a month and a half behind the rest of the world? Has he just got round to watching the French Union?

He didn't watch it. Apparently, he still hasn't watched it. He just got told that, you know. He's just heard that Trim has been told with smack. Maybe watched the clips of that, but didn't watch the Friends episode. Very defensive of the monkey. He's busy training monkeys. And in other news, Bruce Springsteen's daughter

is going to be competing in the Tokyo Olympics. Born to run. You'd think she'd be a runner, but she's not. She's going to be in the equipment. Thank you. I planned that one, guys. He had long, he must have, when the baby was born, he was like, baby, you're born to run.

It was his long game. It was his retirement plan. Olympics. It's equestrian. Yeah, so she's going to be in the United States equestrian squad. Producer Behance actually made a very good observation that the boss's daughter, Jessica, looks a lot like Sarah Jessica Parker.

She really does. She does. Yeah. She's a spitting image. She really does. Of Carrie Bradshaw. Yeah. Anyway, let's hope she goes well. Yeah. The boss won't be able to go see her. Yeah, no. No spectators, I don't think. Do you reckon the boss is like, does he get sick of being called the boss? Just call me Bruce. No, no, no spectators, I don't think. Do you reckon the boss is like, does he get sick of being called the boss?

Where he's like, just call me Bruce. No, no, it's the boss. You're the boss. I wouldn't like to be called the boss all the time. His ego would be through the roof, wouldn't it? Yeah, he would be such a lovely person though, wouldn't he, Bruce Springsteen? He does seem like a lovely person. Seems like a down-to-earth guy.

A down-to-earth guy who calls himself the boss. Yeah, why is he called the boss? I don't know, do some digging. Let's do some live Googling. I don't think it's a nickname you'd bestow upon yourself. Okay, Springsteen acquired the nickname the boss. Why is it called the boss? I don't know. Do some digging. Let's do some live googling. I don't think it's a nickname you'd bestow upon yourself. Okay. Springsteen acquired the nickname the boss during an early period of the band. He took on the

task of collecting the band's nightly pay and distributing it amongst the bandmates. So it came from administration. That's cool. Yeah. And also it came from games of Monopoly. He would play with the other musicians as well. And he was the banker. Yeah. So he got the boss. So you go, I'll get the money.

Oh, man, here you go. So it was out of the generosity of his own. Yeah, so he'd go, do that. You better go see the boss about your pay. All right, here you go. Yeah, well, then, hey, he deserves it. It really caught on outside the bank, didn't it? I wonder if he's still doing the payments for the bank.

Yeah. Everyone would be like, how come you got nine times more than I did? Hey, I'm the boss the bed. Yeah. Everyone will be like, how come you got nine times more than I did? Hey, I'm the boss, guys. Yeah. And that is five and more. You can head to theheads.co.nz. This is Jono and Ben on the Heads. It's Jono and Ben on your Wednesday morning.

Just gone eight o'clock. Hey, now, a very funny show back on TVNZ Tuesday night. Taskmaster 840. It starts tonight. I thought it was an unusual start time, but I'm not going to get way down with start times, Ben. We had Jeremy Wells, the host of the programme, and yesterday you'll know Jeremy Wells from Radio Hauraki

with Matt and Gerry, and also host Seven Sharp with Hilary Barry, Jeremy Wells. Now, he came in for an interview. I thought it was a pretty well-rounded interview. Ben, you were happy with the interview? Yeah, I was happy with it. I thought it was a good chat. Now, we've started a new thing that we do on the show.

After the interview, we have Millennial Max do a post-interview interview. So it's like a post-match interview with the guests. And this was Jeremy's response yesterday. I mean, I've done a number of interviews with him over the years, and that one was okay. I have more concern for um jono actually just looks like he's aged uh quality of questions always good um and being always the consummate professional always uh has done a lot of research but as i said i'm just more concerned about jono and and

just he just looks he's just looking a little older and older every time i see him is that true oh well hey it's Jeremy Wells. Yeah. Because this comes off the back of last week where we used an old age app on Juliet's phone and the old age app. It didn't age me at all. It's like, I've got nothing I can do here.

This is a work of art. In the world of old ageing on applications, this is your perfect. If anything, it made me look a little younger. The old age app. So anyway, it made me look a little younger. The old age app. So anyway, Annie Pryor, she's a big fan, my mum of Jeremy Wells. I reckon if I never went home to see them in Christchurch ever again, but I just sent Jeremy Wells in my place, they would have no problems.

They'd be fine. I think most families around New Zealand would be happy with that arrangement. Your mum's the same with Jack Tame. Yeah, totally. If Jack Tame went to visit Jenny every New Year's up in Northland, she'd be happy about that. Hey, next on the show, Gordon Ramsay,

international chef. And we upset some people on the weekend. He's ruined someone's day and it's a big day to ruin. Yeah, we'll talk about it next. It is the hits. First this, first out.

Broadcasting live. And mostly awake. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast. On the hits. Space Jam A New Legacy is in cinemas on Friday, starring all of the Looney Tunes, Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Tweety Bird, and LeBron James, NBA basketballer. And we've got a pretty exciting prize.

Welcome to the Space Jam. Space Jam'sams and New Legacies 10 shots at 10k with Jono and Ben. Yes, we're giving you the opportunity, potentially dad, mostly dad's, the opportunity to shoot 10 shots at a basketball hoop from the free throw island for $10,000. Every shot they don't get we'll give it to the first caller

on 0800 that has. That's how the game's going to work. Yeah. So during the week, we've been putting dads in a bit of a jam, a space jam. You see how we ended up with that on the whiteboard session and the brainstorming, and asking them about important dates. And it's just been a medley of awkwardness.

Oh, man, I don't do dates. Oh. Um. Oh. Jake. Oh, man, I don't do dates. Oh. Oh, Blake. Oh, are you kidding me? Okay. Next, we have selected one of the dads who was put through that awkward jam thanks to Space Jam A New Legacy,

and we're going to tell them they've got another jam to get through, 10 shots at $10,000 and New Legacy, and we're going to tell them. They've got another jam to get through, 10 shots at $10,000. And they've got two days to get really good. Get really good at shooting basketball shots. Okay, so we'll reveal who the person is next. Give them a call.

And you could be winning cash this Friday morning between 8 and 9. That is it. Welcome to the Space Jam. Space Jam's and New Legacy's 10 Shots at 10K with Jono and Ben It's the slam dunk movie of the year Space Jam A New Legacy It's in cinemas this Friday

LeBron James and all the Looney Tunes And we're giving you a chance to win 10 shots for $10,000 now I'll tell you who's been in a bit of a jam this morning Producer B Humps B Humps, our lovely producer Humps Check him out He has been assembling a basketball hoop

from scratch and simultaneously producing a radio show at the same time. I won't say what has suffered, but you'll notice that this show is not up to its usual standards. Have we still got that winner on hold? We had a winner on hold for nine

hours, I think. But you've finished the hoop, producer helps. He's finished the hoop. There's only about nine spare screws. It's all right. Is it healthy and it's safe? Does it matter? Who knows, as long as there's a basketball hoop's kind of standing.

So we're going to call one of the fathers that we've been putting in a jam over the last week, asking them questions about wedding dates, birthday dates, anniversary dates. And let's just hope we're not phoning Michael Jordan or else he's going to clean up in this competition. Good morning, Steve speaking. Oh, thank God it's not Michael Jordan. Steve.

Almost. Almost. Do you feel a little bit like Michael Jordan or maybe LeBron James? Do you ever remember that movie, White Guys Can't Jump? Oh, Woody Harrelson. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's probably a little bit more like me. Were you the Wesley Snipes character or were you the Woody?

The Woody Harrelson. The guy that couldn't jump. Well, you've got, we're ringing from the hits, obviously, John Owen Ben. We're ringing to tell you, you have got a chance for 10 basketball shots at $10,000 on Friday. Wow. Alright. Who would have thought that knowing a wedding anniversary would pay such massive dividends? Well, listen, we will just take you

back to Friday morning. We phoned you with your son Cody, Steve, and we put you under an immense amount of pressure remembering dates. Oh man, I don't do dates. Um, um, uh, oh, you're do dates. Um... Um... Oh, are you kidding me? Um... Um...

Um... Um... A lot of ums and ahs. Very awkward noises along the way as well. A lot like I love making appointments with myself. But you got through in the end. You got in the draw. And we've selected you guys out at random.

And so that means on Friday, you're going to have 10 shots from the free throw line, and each shot is going to be $1,000. So each one you get in, you'll take home $1,000. Wow. All right. Better start getting practising. Better start putting the free into free throws. But there's a twist.

Okay, Steve. Every shot that you miss will go to the next caller, the first caller on 0800 The Hits. It's all going to happen in real time, play out live. You land one, you take home $1,000. If you miss one, we just go to the next caller and give the cash to them. Wow. Okay. I was going to say, I thought Friday was tough,

but this might be a little bit next level. This is next level. Hopefully, you'd imagine out of, but this might be a little bit next level. This next level. Hopefully, you'd imagine out of 10 shots, you'll hopefully walk away with something. Yeah, hopefully you'll get a couple in there. Ben raised a really good point. You're watching the NBA Conference Finals at the moment. A lot of the professionals, they're missing free throw shots all the time. Yeah, it can get in your head a wee bit.

It can. Yeah. Yeah, all right. I'm starting to feel a bit nervous. Yeah. Feels like you didn't need this during your week. Like you can opt out if you want. No, I'll give it a shot.

You're up for the challenge? We're going to give it 10 shots to be exact. Friday morning, we can't wait to meet you. And all thanks to Space Jam and New Legacy. Hopefully, you're taking home at least a couple of grand. Let's hope. Awesome. Look forward to it. Good on you, Steve. And I'll tell you what, we'll try and get you some training with a professional.

When we say training, probably a phone call with a professional. And yes, you guys listen Friday morning because you could be winning some of Steve and Cody's loot live on the radio. Yeah, it's all thanks to Space Jam. A new Legacy starring LeBron James is in cinemas on Friday.