Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: What Teenage Craze Did You Get Swept In To?

Episode Date: March 5, 2023

With Harry Styles in town we throw it back to random crazes we got into Snoop Dogg and Ed Sheeran hanging out! A massive celeb talked about NZ!! Cash N Car 5 Words! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the John and Ben podcast. Thanks to Dilmar making the world a better tea. Do try it. We've got new friends in Dilmar, don't we? Yeah, it was awesome. Thank you very much for Dilmar for coming on board. It's very cool. We learned a lot about them.

We also learned a lot about making the perfect cup of tea and someone who I would make a cup of tea most days of the week. I didn't realize some of the things I should be doing, so we're going to make a little instructional video and bring that out at some stage soon. It's actually really good. I'd say 99% of people that make tea probably don't know these things either.

Well, you're usually just tea, but you just put the... I know. Stay away, Jim. Stay out of it. Stay out of it. Stay out of it, Pryor. Do you like how I pulled myself up, though? I know. Stay out of it. We don't need Do you like how I pulled myself up, though? I know.

Stay out of it. We don't need to go there. Low-brow stuff. You're so tempted, though. I know. Every fibre of my being is wanting to, but I won't. But, Ben, how long would you put the bag in for up until learning the hack that fine people with Dilmar shared?

I would be a lot shorter than it needed to be. Probably a good couple of minutes off that and my wife would probably be close to that because she's, yeah, she kind of likes the teabag steeping is the word she will use. Some people like to reuse the bag. They'll go six times around. Six times

over on the old teabags. It'll cost a living but it feels like, yeah, I feel like one's probably, but hey, you know yeah, I feel like one's probably, but hey, you know, like I understand. You can probably push it to two. Yeah, you probably could. Particularly I find if I'm using a teapot, you can put less teabags for the amount of people within the teapot situation.

You know, I could put three teabags in for four people or something like that. Is your teapot short and stout? It probably is actually, to be honest. Are your teapot short and stout? It probably is, actually, to be honest. Are all teapots short and stout? Oh, nowadays they've got some fancy ones in the store. At the mall up the road, they've got a tea store. But yeah, I'd say most generally short and stout. You don't even want to be referred to as short and stout, do you? No.

In your frame. Now, listen, I chat GPT'd yesterday. Just stuff we can talk about On the podcast intro Oh yeah Okay so chat GPT The artificial intelligence You can go and check it out for yourself

Very very impressive It blows my mind But it's not fully there You know it's 75% functional But you can just type in Write me a 500 word wedding speech For my friend Denise and her partner Gary. And it would write you out a speech that you can,

well, it's a base that you could probably manipulate. And what I like about it too, I didn't realize you can just keep telling it to keep working on it. Regenerate. Yeah, like regenerate with more sarcasm or put it like such and such as, you know, you can kind of give it some feedback and it will keep working on it.

What about this? What about this? Which I thought was quite cool. And so I said, write us some funny ideas for a podcast interest. They came back with some podcast jokes. Oh, jokes? Podcast jokes. Now, I don't want to be one to judge other people's comedy.

I know that when you put yourself out there for a laugh, it can be hit and miss. I don't want to take a stab at chat GPT, but sometimes it feels like it's just grabbed random ideas and put it in a sentence. Why did the podcaster refuse to record their podcast on the weekends? Because they didn't want to be a weekend podcaster. Like, I feel like there's no... Yeah. It's just great because I think it trolls the internet for random...

Yeah. Yeah, no, I don't get that, but that's all right. Why did the podcaster get in trouble with their co-host, Ben? Don't know. Because they were hogging the microphone and not letting the other person speak. This is more factual, isn't it? Yeah. I love how Producer Joel's got these saved for us on our things because they are terrible jokes.

Why did the podcaster cross the road? Because there was another microphone across the road. Oh, God. So I don't know if it's quite humor is the one thing it hasn't really now much like us the humor is the one thing but it keeps trying much like us so yeah it's uh yeah i won't read out the rest of the but i mean it's giving it a go isn't it yeah it's given us something to talk about must be very hard to generate a joke yeah yeah it's very subjective comedy i love how this thing like fires

out thousand word essays on the french revolution and we're like oh it's jokes aren't up to scratch the podcast you're like yeah sorry i wasn't really working on podcast jokes and there's a lot more other stuff more important than that yeah i mean eventually but where is that now it will nail humor yeah and you could probably specify what sort of humor do you want like do you want the tea bagging references yeah well yeah no no it doesn't do dirty it doesn't do you know it doesn't do dirty no doesn't it no dirty things have you been driving into chat i was on the acc and i you know like the alternate commentary collective for doing the cricket and i was chat GPTing everyone's fun facts and then one of the other.

Dirty facts. Yeah. It was like, oh, ask it to sell some dirty things. And I was like, oh, I'll do that for you. All right, guys. Not my brand. Not my brand. Off brand for Ben.

And thankfully for my brand, it came back going, oh, I can't do this. And I was like, good, because I wasn't going to do it either. What's the dirtiest thing you've had to do on the ACC? Have you had to leave your morals at the door? But it is kind of interesting to, like, you checked yourself before. And that's the way that we have been operating for many years is, you know, like, okay, but you don't have to check yourself.

You don't have to check yourself. Would they go on a 30-minute tea bagging rant? Oh, if you want, you could. You could. You could't have to check yourself. Would they go on a 30 minute teabagging rant? Oh, if you want, you could. You could. You could. Oh, freeing. Isn't that freeing?

But it's unusual. It's unusual. The barriers that you may have as a broadcaster, they're not there. They're not there. They're broken down barriers.

Sometimes you're like, guys, guys, we're better than this. Do you say that out loud? No, I don't actually. I'm just saying. You can't because you're the new guy.

Just happy to be there to be honest. They wake all of the way. Do you get swept up in the No, I don't actually I'm just You can't because you're the new guy Just happy to be there To be honest They're way cooler than me Do you get swept up in the banter Or do you have to hold back? I try to I feel like I feel like I'm the uncool guy

That they, you know Bring along that Oh, right, but anyway But you commentated the rugby league On Friday night Yeah, with Dye Henwood Dye Henwood Yeah, it was fun

He's a He's a very Very talented man Dye Henwood And a huge fan of the Warriors Loves it, yeah Who knew more about the Warriors You or Dye Henwood talented man, Dye Henwood, and a huge fan of the Warriors. Loves it, yeah. Who knew more about the Warriors, you or Dye Henwood? Oh, Dye Henwood.

He knows a lot about the Warriors, yeah. When he's in, he's all in. I remember when Apple came out, he bought tons of shares in Apple. Yeah. And he was all in. All in on Apple. Yeah. Yeah.

And I think he's not in Apple anymore, eh? Oh, he got out of Apple? I think so. I think he might have got out of it Or something yeah But you're right He loves tea Teaspring of tea He's a big tea fan

He goes all in on it And all that Yeah he's very smart He'd like some Dillmaw tea He would He would love some Dillmaw tea But you said Joel You got your Warriors top on today

Got my Warriors top on I didn't even realise It was the first thing I grabbed out You know Just I feel Now let's talk Honestly here Joel You've been sniffing and coughing and

snorting and hootering all morning what's happened mate i'm telling you this is my yeah the number one listener of the john o'brien podcast mike harrison good morning mike lovely joel's dad my lovely partner grace she was sick uh last week and i was looking after her doing what you should be doing you know and i was like she's like maybe don't come too close to me I was like look it's fine I'm always sick I built up a wall

and then his immune system is down it was I felt like yeah then yesterday I was kind of coming back to Auckland from Waiheke

after a couple couple beers over the weekend you know yeah I let my feet up over the weekend and then didn't get as much sleep as I would have liked

and yeah I feel like I just knew it was going to be downhill but hey look Monday the show's out of the way. This could not be further removed from Friday midday catching a ferry over to Waiheke. Where we are right now. Hey, for you.

You were sending photos. You're like, look at me with a drink on the ferry. How good is that? I was like, mate, you were rushing off to get to that ferry. That was important. That's why I'm under motivation for you guys. You know, you've got to enjoy the good times because you never know when it's going to be bad.

But hey, this will pass. It's bad right now. And it's going to pass, you know. This time come Friday, four days, I'll be fizzing. I'll be fizzing. Back out there. Back in that ferry. Back in the market.

But, oh, jeez, I haven't been to Waiheke in years. Years, really? Years. It's grumbly over there, eh? Beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful. We've got some wonderful islands in this country. Name your top three islands surrounding New Zealand.

I'm going to lock in North Island. Oh, yeah. That's a good island. South Island. Yeah, they're both great islands. Have you ever been to Stewart Island? No, I never have. I was thinking about it the other day when someone called us out about when we were doing the golf carts around and around mount smart stadium the length of new

zealand they were oh what about stewart island did you factor in that no we didn't i don't know you can't take a golf cart over the fovo straight yeah but we can't get one of the cook straight either and we did both the others i thought i had a good point yeah so i feel like at some stage we need to take a golf cart to stewart island and do a make good driving around did the people of stewart island want to make good yeah they did or are we forcing ourselves and our novelty golf cart upon the island can you drive right around the island on stewart island i've never been can you do we broadcast down there i'm not sure yeah if we don't they're gonna be like oh hi oh, hi. Who are you? Who are you, firstly? I'm sure they can listen on the iHeartRadio app wherever.

Oh, yeah, totally. You can. Can you drive around? Let's, okay. Stewart Island looks small on a map. It's large, 64km long, 40km across at its widest point. Wow. 700km coastline.

So that would be the circumference of it. 700km? But there are only 20 kilometers of roads you can't walk around the island in a day even 10 days you'd be you're dreaming a guy who used to work here used to produce at zm he is like a big hiker and he went for a hike there saw two kiwis within the first 10 minutes in daylight got a video that a video of those. Awesome. Jeez. You're very kickable with Kiwi. Not as in you wouldn't want to do it. You wouldn't want to do it on purpose, but if you

weren't looking down, really, and you're tramping, you're trying to get a good pace on, I imagine. They make a really weird noise as well. We'll see if the good people of Stewart Island even want us there, because... Who are you calling? If there's no interest from the community, Ben,

I don't think we should force ourselves upon the community. Kia ora, Stuart Arlen, Foursquare Ian speaking. Kia ora, Ian. It's Jono and Ben from The Hits here. How are you? I'm good, thanks, Jono. Lovely, lovely... We answered politely to both. Oh, you got it right. I was like, oh, that's impressive.

Now, just a question. We went on a bit of a golf cart journey raising money for the Red Cross and we went around Mount Smart Stadium, oh, that's impressive. Now, just a question. We went on a bit of a golf cart journey raising money for the Red Cross, and we went around Mount Smart Stadium, 1,600 k's, the length of New Zealand, round and round and round. Now, someone's called us out and said you didn't factor in Stewart Island. Okay. Now, Ben has an idea to do a make good. Maybe one day we need to bring our golf cart to Stewart Island

and drive the length of Stewart Island around. Yep. And I said, do the people of Stewart Island even want us there? This is where you come in. As the official spokesperson for Stewart Island that we've randomly called, what do you think? I mean, I have no problem with it. It sounded like you were about to have a problem with it,

but then you said no, no. But it's not like you're not really saying, come on over, we'd love to have you. So that's good. That gives us some sort of indication of how you feel. Yeah. You sound indifferent. That would probably be a pretty good description would that be the vibe

of most of the islanders I think so yeah I don't think people would really mind either way see but now for the effort it's going to take to get a golf cart there I get it I mean you had Prince Harry there didn't you yeah

and you sounded different about that as well I wasn't here when he was here yeah right I mean, you had Prince Harry there, didn't you? Yeah. And you sounded different about that as well? Well, I was in here when he was here. Yeah, right. Okay. All right. Well, you kind of subbed that up nicely, I think. That's good.

Okay. What radio are you listening to on Stewart Island? I just listen to my own music. Do you have a local radio station there? You would do, wouldn't you? 5OFM. I'm sure. Yeah. Okay. All right. Well, listen,FM. I'm sure. Yeah, okay. All right.

Well, listen, this has been a wonderful conversation. Yep, absolutely. You're going to have a great day at the Four Square Stewart Island. Thank you. All right, cheers, guys. Cheers, mate. Now, if you're going off there, are you going to Stewart Island? I'd like to visit, but I feel like they're not, you know,

they're indifferent about us. I can put the golf cart to bed, you know? We don't have to do that there. They're not saying, hey, come over here and do it, mate're indifferent about us. I can put the golf cart to bed. You know, we don't have to do that there. They're not saying, hey, come over here and do it, mate, good. No. I feel like we'd be a burden. Doesn't worry us either way. And that's fine.

That's good. So there we go. We don't have to do that. Enjoy the podcast. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Please turn those headlights around. Please turn those headlights around Zach Bryan, Something in the Orange.

This is a cool song, that. It is the hits. You've got Jono and Ben. It's a great song, don't get me wrong. But is it the one you want to wake up to on a Monday morning right now, Ben? Ease into the day. Let's not come in too, because people just ease in. It's like, you know, you just kind of ease into the day.

Yeah, we're not going to come in at 110. No. No, we pick up 120 by 8 o'clock the day. Yeah. We're not going to come in 110. No. No. We pick up 120 by 8 o'clock this morning. Yeah, exactly. Slowly work our way up. How was your weekend, all right? It was good.

It was good fun. Warriors had a win, which was great fun. How was your commentary? I enjoyed it. Dye Hem was great. He did a great job. It was fun. It was really fun, actually.

What was your role in the commentary? Because you did commentary for the Alternate Commentary Collective. Well, Dye sort of did the ball-by-ball stuff, so I'd sort of chip in. That means kind of calling what's happening, and I was kind of chipping in. So he's like, Johnson! Yeah, yeah.

And then what do you do? Just sort of go, oh, you know, kind of. Basically, I shouted a lot over the top. Went, oh, oh! Were you the Justin Marshall of them? Yeah, I kind of see going into it. It's not a shout. But I got carried away.

I got really into it. Hard when you're a fan, is it? Yeah, I know. Did you find it, that's not shout, that's not, but I got carried away. I got really into it. Hard when you're a fan, is it? Yeah, I know. Did you find yourself, because you've got to be pretty neutral in terms of commentary. I didn't. But that's the role of a commentator. Maybe not in the alternate commentary collection. A real commentator, yes, absolutely.

But definitely not neutral. Did you have to learn all the players' names? Yeah, I did some research on all the players' names. Of the opposition? Yeah, I did some research on all the players' names. Of the opposition? Yeah, I did some research. Who were they playing? Newcastle Knights. Name the entire Newcastle Knights squad.

I've got it all written down with little facts about them. If I do any more, I'll gradually load little bits about other teams. You've really got to admire that, don't you, about commentators? Just knowing everyone on the field. Especially when you get to an Olympics. Most of the athletes you would have never even heard of before. Let alone be able to pronounce their names. Yeah, it's pretty impressive the people that do it.

That do a good job of it. Oh my God! Yes! Yes! Sorry, I came in at 120 there. I meant to be easing into the morning. That's right, but I was like that in the commentary. I went to Wahlburging into the morning. That's right, but I wasn't allowed to go to the commentary. I went to Wahlburgers over the weekend, the new burger joint that Mark Wahlberg and his family own in Auckland. It was great.

I really enjoyed it. It looks tasty, all the burgers. And he gave a shout-out to New Zealand on social media, I was saying last night. Mark Wahlberg talking about New Zealand, and geez, he kind of nailed it. Kia ora. Massive congratulations to New Zealand, Wahl he kind of nailed it. Kia ora, massive congratulations to New Zealand

Wahlburgers team and the Moustaka family for opening our first ever Wahlburgers in Viaduct Harbour at Prince Wharf. God bless you and your beautiful country. I cannot wait to visit soon. My first visit I was shooting the lovely bones with Peter Jackson. I had the most remarkable time in one of the most beautiful countries in the world. I can't wait to see you again. God bless you and thank you. Sam, the whole Moustaka family, God bless you. Thank you. Yeah.

Kia ora was pretty good, wasn't it? Who nailed his kia ora? Yeah. Who's the Moustaka family? I think they're people that own the restaurant with the Wahlberg family. I'm guessing. I'm guessing. Otherwise, it's combined as shout-outs.

Did someone pay for a shout-out to the Moustaka family. Oh, that's good. And so what? Like your burgers, chips? Yeah. Burgers. Oh, great. Great.

Yeah. Kids had milkshakes. They were really good too. You know, beers are there, mates. Oh, yeah. It's all your favourite things. Even a live DJ in the weekends as well, playing some old school tunes. So that was fun.

Live DJ? Yeah. It was fun. Mate, got to get. Live DJ? Yeah, it was fun. Mate, got to get to all burgers. Yeah, it was fun. It was lots of fun. Snoop Dogg in Australia this weekend, or the weekend just gone, and in New Zealand next weekend as well. Harry Styles here tomorrow as well, which is pretty incredible.

Overload of famous people in the country at the moment, isn't there? We just got over Ed Sheeran. Yeah. We played it pretty cool with Ed last time we were painting murals we were renaming streets after him and stuff but we played it pretty chill this time. Speaking of Ed Sheeran

though and Snoop Dogg they were hanging out together in Australia over the weekend with Russell Crowe the three of them hanging out in Snoop's dressing room What an odd combination of people a great combination. I know but you're right but they were all hanging out in Snoop's's dressing room he just played the rod laver arena uh which the where they have the australian open as well hanging out together uh having a few drinks snoop was smoking something i don't know what you know like who knows what he was probably a cigarette

because that's the legal thing over there sure nothing else uh but yeah no one else was look like they were partaking in that other than second hand version of it hell yeah I mean just the passive the passive smoke situation because you went to a gig up north yeah

a very popular reggae band you know they make no qualms about where they sat in the referendum yeah and you were hanging

hanging I got to hang out with them in the special area it wasn't intended but the guy the manager was like hey you come over here

so my man and my wife went and hung out with them and that was cool and I was like oh my god I'm hanging out with the band the special area. It wasn't intended, but the guy, the manager's like, hey, you, come over here. So Amanda, my wife, went and hung out with them. And that was cool. And I was like, oh my God, I'm hanging out with the band. And then one of them went, hey, would you like a smoke? And there was a lot of people around. I'm like, no, I'm fine, thank you. No, I'm fine, thank you. No, thank you.

And in that moment, I'm like instantly very uncomfortable. Legally great Like great In the eyes of the law great Are you aware of the law But very uncalled for Credibility wise Did it suck the ear out of the

Well the ear was quite smoky Quite hazy But was he like I kind of felt like maybe He was a little bit like, ugh. But I was like, hey, no, I'm fine, thank you. But you know, it was polite, thank you. It was very polite, thank you. What would you do if you were back at work?

If you were with Snoop Dogg, Russell Crowe, Ed Sheeran. I'm fine, thank you. Are you doing it? Well, I don't know. Ed Sheeran probably had to do it. Oh, polite. I'm fine, thank you. I'm fine, thank you, Mr. Dogg.

Although he did get given a necklace from Snoop Dogg. Snoop's got his own jewellery Death Row Records jewellery line and he gave him a necklace worth just under 10 grand Australian and Sharon was

gold chain of the law but very uncredible credibility wise yeah well did it really take the did it suck the air

out of the well the air was quite smoky quite hazy but yeah but did like was he like oh yeah well I kind of felt like maybe he was out of the... Well, the ear was quite smoky. Quite hazy. But yeah. But was he like, oh, could you tell?

I kind of felt like maybe he was a little bit like, ugh. But I was like, hey, no, I'm fine, thank you. But you know, it was polite, thank you. It was very polite, thank you. What would you do

if you were back at work? If you were with Snoop Dogg, Russell Crowe, Ed Sheeran. I'm fine, thank you. Are you doing it in the moment? Well, I don't know. Ed Sheeran probably had to do it

with polite, I'm fine, thank you. I'm fine, thank you, Mr. Dog. Although he did get given a necklace from Snoop Dogg. Snoop's got his own jewellery, Death Row Records jewellery line. And he gave him a necklace worth just under 10 grand Australian. Ed Sheeran was gold chain. He gave it to us. Jeez, Michael Hill would be bloody frothing at that necklace, wouldn't he?

Who knows that? Although, when are you going to wear a giant? Like, that's a lovely gift, don't get me wrong, but it's not like, is Ed Sheeran going to walk around in his $10,000 Death Row Records bling necklace? You've got to have some confidence to pull off that bling, don't you? Yeah. Thank you, Mr Snoop Dogg.

Maybe he should have gone then. No, I'm fine, thank you. Hey, brother, yeah. Why, hey, I'll take a necklace, that's for sure. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. On Friday, we're talking about people that made the mistake of assuming someone was pregnant when they weren't and

saying it to them. I went into New World Timber years ago, and I went into a family I hadn't seen for years. And I asked her when she was due. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Please tell us she was said.

Only to be told she wasn't pregnant. Only to be told she wasn't pregnant. Yeah. You can hear Chris's wife was in the background of that call. She was like, yes, it happened. Terrible stuff. And do the calls keep on flowing through? You can text 4487.

We've got Sarah with us on a Monday morning. What happened? Oh, I've seen a friend that I hadn't seen for years in town, and we were just chatting. And I thought she was pregnant, but I wasn't going to obviously say anything. And then, yeah, further down the conversation, she told me she was pregnant. And I was like, oh, wow, I thought you were. And then she turns out to be like, I'm seven weeks.

And I was like oh oh wow congratulations I just I just I was you could go well you could go were you really showing

yeah were you glowing or something about your aura or something your aura I think I just I just talked over her and just

quickly changed the subject and I still cringe when I see her now well you don't think about those things he could say and this but we should all have a backup like we have the show joke oh which you got to do change the subject and I still cringe when I see her now. Well you don't think about those things he could say to say in this. But we should all have a backup thing right? We have the show joke. Oh which you got to do yesterday

AC. Yeah we did get to do the show joke. Do you want to know the show joke Sarah? Just so you've got a joke in your arsenal? Yeah okay. Because we never remember jokes that was it. So yesterday someone was like tell us a joke you guys are funny and then John I remember the show joke. Thankfully yeah because there's no more frightening situation when someone's like tell us a joke. You guys are funny. And then Jono remembered the show joke. Thankfully, yeah. Because there's no more frightening situation

when someone's like, tell us a joke. So why do the Norwegian naval ships have QR codes on them, Sarah? Path. So they can scan Danavian. That's a joke. Take that one with you. Take that one with you. It's a similar. You'll get it in about an hour

You'll like it So what we need also is just the show's One line you say If you do find yourself in this situation And I think Ben you cracked the code You're glowing You're pregnant, you're glowing I think that's a good one

Plus a few extra little Hey You're going to have a that's a good one. Plus a few extra little... Hey, good on you, Siri. You're going to have a great day. Appreciate you listening. Thank you. Rochelle, did you drop yourself in it with the pregnancy bomb? Oh, it was the worst ever. We were dropping off a playhouse to a family that we had sold,

and there was a lady there who had two little girls running around. Now, I would never say anything unless I was 100% sure. And I said to her, I was like, oh, it's like, when's your due date? And she looked at me and was like, I'm not pregnant. And she had her two-and-a-half-year-old twins there about died. Oh, no. I mean, looking at you, you're like, she's got a playhouse, she's got the kids wandering around.

It looks like all the mathematics are added up there in that environment too. Oh, yeah. Still, I was just mortified. Now, what you could have said was you look glowing. I could have said a lot of things. There was a lot of things I could have said.

You think about them all afterwards, don't you? Yeah, afterwards. Yeah. When you're driving home in half an hour, you're like, damn it, I'm going to say that.

Oh, it's the worst. Yeah, you go and have a great day. Appreciate you sharing. See you, bye. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. It's just another motivational Monday. Yeah, stories of hope on a Monday morning. You don't want to wake up and hear, you know,

me banging on about how many parking infringements I have or being what you're anxious about. Let's try and start on a positive note, particularly for producer Joel. Off a five-day drum and bass bonanza. Yeah. It wasn't even five hours. Just put it out there.

It looks like a dance party chewed you up and spat you out and he's like, oh, I've got a bit of a cold. Sorry, is it cold today? I was like, mate, you've had nothing but a cold since you started on this radio show. For a year and a half, he's been consistently sick. I feel like there's a new variant of COVID that he's brought. Anyway, let's motivate Joel.

Let's motivate you listening right now. This is a story that producer B has. If you want motivation, just say, hey, at least you're not Joel this morning. Yeah. But incredible story I wanted to touch on this morning. A lady by the name of Leslie Patterson, she won a BAFTA last week, last Sunday, which is the big British awards for film and television

for best adapted screenplay. But the BBC apparently cut her acceptance speech to go backstage to some, you know. What are you wearing? Yeah, that sort of stuff. Important stuff. So no one heard her incredible story. Now she is a three times world champion triathlete. she yeah so in a previous i guess in her previous life she was

a triathlete three times world champ 16 years ago she retired moved halfway across the world from scotland wanted to move to uh yeah across from scotland to be a script writer she wanted to win an oscar she's like i'm gonna win an oscar took her 16 years she bought the rights to this movie and she took it around no one wanted the rights for it she used all savings she mortgaged the house finally they were they were like hey the rights are going to come up for a renewal you've got to pay 10k to keep the rights for this film she wanted to make she was like well i don't have the money couldn't borrow it off anyone saw there was a triathlon going on and the prize money was 10k she's like well i used to be a triathlete like many years ago she's like i'll give it a go i'll train i'll enter i'll train to win the 10 grand the day

before the race she broke her shoulder fell off her bike she's like still gonna race what swum with one shoulder and basically don't tell me she won she won oh got the 10k kept the rights of the movie next thing you know netflix calls say hey they want to buy the movie, she makes it for Netflix and ends up winning a BAFTA she still hasn't won her Oscar yet though she'll be up for an Oscar but what was she wearing?

I don't actually know if we can find out what she was wearing 16 years, a long time many moments through that you'd be like, ugh, this isn't for me. When the story came up for renewal, it's going to cost, what, another 10 grand?

Oh, I guess that shit's out. Yeah, I gave it a good crack. It's a good lesson. She kept sticking in there, and she had a little bit of motivation this week from a comedian, Bill Burr is his name. Just like to play a bit of audio to inspire, and I think he's got quite a good attitude.

Have a listen. You've got to be fine. And even if you're not going to be fine, isn't it better to just exist thinking you're going to be fine until it's not fine? And then when it's not fine, then you can just handle it then. But there's no sense to ruin right now, right? It's going to be fine.

Oh, Bill Burr. It's going to be fine. It is really good. But then, Ben, what's your brain going to be filled with if you're always going to be like, oh, it's going to be fine. You've got nothing you're going to lose sleep over. Exactly. Nothing that you're going to stress about.

You know, it's a great weight loss regime stress, isn't it? But it is. If you go through life with blind ignorance, it's going to be great, isn't it? Nothing to worry about. Yeah. And if something pops up. Deal with it then. Deal with it then.

It's easier to say than to do. I know. Thanks, Bill Burr. He probably doesn't have to worry about. Yeah. And if something pops up, deal with it then. Deal with it then. It's easier to say than to do. I know. Thanks, Bill Burr. Yeah. Probably doesn't have to worry about it too much. You tell jokes for a living. Earns millions of dollars probably telling jokes.

Yeah, I bet you're fine. You're just fine. The rest of us here, poor old Joel, off a 10-day drum and bass bonanza. It's not fine for you at the moment, is it mate? That didn't motivate me either. One bit, sorry.

No, I'm dead. Okay. The Hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. Keeping you up to date with what's been happening behind the scenes. I went to purchase some authentic footwear from a website that was selling, you know, popular brands for a fifth of the price. Incredible bargain.

So not legit. That's what you're saying. None of it's legit. You can't prove it's not legit, then. Well, I'm sure you can. I'm sure the people that originally made the shoes probably can. Well, their lawyers might be able to. But we can't sit here and prove what's authentic and what's not authentic.

Anyway, long story short. Well, you know that's not authentic. You know going into that website, you're like, they can't sell that stuff. It looks like, to be honest, it looks like a website that someone did for a school project. Either that or a stolen. But anyway, you've gone, you've taken a risk. I've taken a huge gamble, put in all the details, the credit cards there, and then I got the buyer's remorse instantly.

And it wasn't the fact that I bought something online. It was the fact that, uh-oh, am I one of those idiots that's going to end up on Fairgo being scammed by a website and then're going to go what did you do and go oh i put all my credit card details in and you're gonna what are you doing you old boomer you know when like a poor lonely lady gets scammed by a russian businessman or something yeah you're like what are you thinking well now i'm one of those people anyway back and forth with them. They've got a support email address, which I've been emailing. I said, hey, guys, where's the tracking number? They didn't even have a tracking number. So then they've sent back, oh, it's 4787.

That's all they sent back. And I was like, where do I put this? This number? Do I just throw it out to people and say, hey, 4787? It's tracking. Tracking what? Yeah. So it felt like they just made up a number, hashtag 4787.

Then I'm sitting there on Friday afternoon and I'm stewing. And I'm like, okay, well, I've got to come back. I've got to come in with a threat. Okay, I've got to have some sort of threatening email. But I didn't want to come across too threatening because you don't know who you're dealing with. Yeah. across too threatening because you don't know who you're dealing with yeah uh and so then i sent an email going i hope you're not scamming me because it won't be pretty now i sent that off i sent that off what are you i don't feel like liam neeson you know when he's like scripting trying to get his daughter back off that kidnapper in the movie and then i i uh read it out to jen my wife she's

like why did you do that? Why'd you come in so threatening? And I was like, it's not that threatening, is it? I hope you're not scamming me for wearing pretty. It does sound like you're going to go rough them up. But I'm not saying I might end up sobbing or crying or something. That might not be the pretty part. I thought it was a pretty open-ended threat.

But it got results. And they're like, here's the website where you can track your order oh and it's on its way from hong kong wow home of authentic footwear oh that's good so it's good i still i uh i feel like i probably need to send an apology email going hey my last email might have been a bit yeah so i didn't mean to come across so threatening when i said it won't be pretty because i've got no skills to back that up either. You're like, what are you going to do? Where are they?

Where are they in the world too? You're not going to do anything. They're in Hong Kong. You're not going to fly over here and make it not pretty for us, buddy. Plus, I can't. The worst you'll do is cancel your credit card and the bank will get your money back

that they've taken out. That's the worst. Anyway, they probably know that. And that's not pretty. Having to deal with that admin's not pretty, Ben. No. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast.

Tomorrow, a big day. Census. It's the census. But more importantly, Harry Styles is in the country. The government might argue that more importantly, it's census data. Harry Styles, that's way more exciting. He's going to be in here breathing the same air as all of us. We can share the same COVID strain as Harry Styles if he's got it.

We will unhappily catch it off him. Feather boas, very hard to get at the moment. A lot of people are turning up wearing feather boas to the Harry Styles concerts around the world. And a huge shortage of a feather boa shortage in New Zealand. I saw a great headline over the weekend, feather boa constrictor. Oh, that's good. Oh, that was good.

That's a great headline. But yeah, I've seen in Aussie people lining up the day before the show, outside, they've got the bloody Harry Styles, mate. What are they called, people who've got... I would have thought Harry Hardouts would have been a good name. It's a great name. But I don't know if they're... Styles Piles. Yeah, I don't know what it is. Piles of Styles. But yeah, people...

Apparently it's for the merch though. Oh, really? Not necessarily to get the front of the stage. Well, I'm sure they don't... Probably a combo. Yeah. Stand at the back once you get in there. But yeah. Poppy, my youngest, she's going along with Jen. Awesome. She's very excited.

Her and her friends are talking about what T-shirt they want again. I was like, man, this sounds bloody expensive. She'll probably cut this T-shirt conversation short. You're right. As soon as you buy a T-shirt, it's like, hey, 80 bucks. A concert T-shirt, yeah. They know, they know too. But the thing is, I've drawn my line in the sand.

I said no concert T-shirts, but I know she's going to come back with a concert T-shirt. They don't listen to me. But imagine a lot of people right now in that prime tween, teen era just getting swept up in Harry mania. And it's what you do when you're a teenager, isn't it? You do get swept up in harry mania you know and it's what you do when you're a teenager isn't it uh you do get swept up in fads i mean bieber gee speaking of covid bieber fever far

more contagious wasn't it yeah yeah we used to work with juliet she said she was in that prime teenage year years when uh bieber was you know at his, she would stalk him outside hotel rooms, stalk him online. She learnt the drums. So if she ever met him and maybe had a relationship, they'd have something in common. Which, I mean, other than their love of Justin Bieber.

That is a long shot. It's like, how much did the drum lessons cost? I don't know. Just for the chance meeting and then you'll have a drum conversation with him. So what did you get swept up in as a teen? What was your thing? I look back on my teenage years,

and I'm sure many do. Oh, yeah, okay. And you just, you look back and cringe at parts of your life. It was probably, I had my M&M era. Oh, yeah. Dyed blonde hair.

Yeah, I went through that, yeah. Yeah, but racing, boy racing cars. Oh, that's it. oh you know and you just that's the great thing about life as you get older and you realize what a dick you were when you were younger me i mean i love cricket i was a cricket nerd and i would wear like through the early teens not until you sort of get bullied but but but i would wear full cricket whites sweatbands vests full white you you know, out and about.

And people would go, oh, have you got a cricket game today? And I'd be like, nope. And they were like, oh, did you? Are you a fan of the, you kind of look like the extra Backstreet Boy. I'd just be like wearing, I was like, no, this is what I chose to wear because I love crickets. What, like if you went out to dinner at Cobb and Co or something? Yeah, a cricket white.

Would you have like a sweatband? Oh, like, no, not head ones head ones but arm ones and then a cricket vest as well and like just like ready to play cricket at all times like if there was a game on they're like we need an extra player i was fully i was kitted up ready to go what a nerd how old were you oh maybe oh let's say that's a boy teenage probably 13 would be the latest i was doing it 10 to 13 and then after that you're like geez I've got to get laid. I'm not like that. That's for sure.

Okay. 0800 that's the telephone number. 4487 text. What do you look back on your teen years and your regrets? Let's get them out there on this Monday morning. Dilma are on board with the show so thank you very much Dilma for coming Yeah, all right. Let's get him out there on this Monday morning. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Dilma are on board with the show,

so thank you very much, Dilma, for coming on board. And every caller this week wins Dilma. Right now, we've got Jono's tea to give away this morning. You've chosen her. I've chosen the gourmet English breakfast, Ben. And you know why I chose it? Because it's bright, full-bodied, and it's from a single region. All right, so there you go. So if you want to win that,

owe 800 the hits and tell us what you were, what was the fad that you got swept up in as a teen? Because Harry Styles, obviously, in New Zealand, I'm not saying it's a fad that's going to end. Oh, yeah. Particularly if Harry's listening. You're not a flash in the pan, right? No, that's right. He's been around for a long time,

and he'll continue to be. He will. But you get swept up in, you know, maybe when you hit your 20s, you might not be as passionate. You might not line up the day before the show. Yeah. You might just turn up when the gates open like a normal human being.

But, jeez, the tour is relentless. It started in 2021, goes for 22 months. Wow. Non-stop finishes July this year. 169 shows. Jeez, you'll be gunning for that July the July finish line won't you? yeah that's pretty impressive but yeah 0800 the hits telephone number

what you got swept up in we have Sarah with us on the phone what happened? oh I read so there was an incident where I went swimming and I was young and I saw the lifeguard and he was very cute and I was wearing my costume my little bikini and I went swimming and I was young and I saw the lifeguard and he was very cute

and I was wearing my costume, my little bikini, and I went swimming and I was obviously trying to show off slightly and a wave took me and I just went rolling under and landed on the beach and he was standing over me looking at me like, are you okay? I'm like, yeah, I think so, I'm okay. I was so flabbergasted and he then picked up my bikini top and said I think this is yours

oh jeez washed ashore like a piece of seaweed and I never went back to the beach did you have any more

conversation with him or that was it no that was the end of it that was the end of it never looked back it's an yeah no I never looked back

especially in that situation I imagined yeah oh my gosh it was terrible and I imagine I imagine. Oh my gosh, it's terrible. And I imagine he wouldn't know where to look either. No. They never showed that on the movie Baywatch, did they? No, you're right.

Someone watching him, sure. No, not the PG version. Thank you very much. You have a great day. You too. Take care. Sarah, we're going to see you at Jono's English Breakfast Tea, thanks to Dilma.

Not the cup I'm drinking right now though no no a box of it Greg what do you regret from your teenage years can I yeah well I went to a Dire Straits concert because I got a free ticket got the ticket for nothing not just money for nothing

apologies to Dire Straits too yeah yeah yeah that too Yeah, got the ticket for nothing, not just money for nothing. Apologies to Dire Straits too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that too. And so I went out with a bunch of my mates who back in the day were heavy pot smokers and we created this big long line of people and they were just passing down joints constantly. I thought, oh, that looks good. So I got into the end of the line and it came down to me and it took a big tight and a tent guy next

to me and a new guy that turned up and then turned around and looked up at him and it was a cop. And he was just looking at me. I said, are you kidding? And I just completely ignored him, turned back and passed it back the other way, and then peeled off.

And as I peeled off, each successive person did the same thing. Looked, turned around, and saw this cop, and they peeled off. It was like one of those gymnastic swimming competitions where they all peel off into the water. Slowly disappear. You found the end of the line line and it was a police officer. That's wonderful. Greg, hey, we're going to send you out

some of this Dilma English breakfast, okay, buddy? You have a great day. Thank you, mate. And Emily, what do you regret from your teenage years? Oh, well, school discos and, you know, the head banging that you used to do. It shoved your head forward. Head banging?

Head banging. I remember head banging. Yeah, not great for your neck. No, I couldn't move my neck for days. Yeah. And then long-term effects of brain damage too? Yeah, I think so, definitely. Would you like head banged to like rage against the machine and things?

Oh, yes, yeah, definitely. Were you a head banger, Ben? Oh, no, not really my thing, head banging. Can you imagine me head banging, mate? Full cricket whites for some reason. I was full cricket whites, mate. I was rubbing cricket balls on my gro, headbanging. Can you imagine me headbanging, mate? Full cricket whites for some reason. I was wearing cricket whites, mate. I was rubbing cricket balls on my groin region, mate. That's what I was doing, ready to go at all times.

That was the only action down that part of his body. That's for sure. Emily, we're going to send you out some Dilmar tea. We've got Jono's tea, a box of Jono's tea for you this morning, so you'll enjoy that. Thank you so much for sharing. That's right, thank you. The Hits,

the Jono and Ben podcast. Now, Jaz Thornton, you'll know her from Dancing with the Stars. She's a mental health advocate. Jaz Thornton, great to have you back

in the studio. Great to be here. Thanks for having me. Now you've got a new podcast, Hope is Real. So tell us about the podcast. So the podcast is a whole bunch of people

from around the world telling their different stories. We have everything from a guy who survived jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge and is now an advocate around the world. We touch on body image, eating disorders, schizophrenia, bipolar, everyday life struggles. The whole purpose is for people to know that no matter what it is that they're going through, hope is real and change is possible. Oh, that's awesome. The hope has faded for us two old dogs. Yeah, never. Well, I was thinking that because you has faded for us two old dogs. So maybe we should tune in.

We should tune in. Well, I was thinking that because you're talking to empowering and, you know, inspiring people. I'm like, oh, I don't see us on that list maybe. But maybe we already booked out episode one. Season two. I'm just thinking we just really need

to bring people in for season two. But it seems like incredible people that you are talking to in all seriousness, you know, inspiring stories. It's been absolutely incredible, the people that we've had on. You know, Kevin Hines, the one who survived jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge,

he literally was saved by a sea lion. Like, he jumped and then a sea lion held him up above the water for 20 minutes until Coast Guard got there. Oh, my gosh. It's nuts. And he's won only two people that have survived and are not paralyzed. Jeez, if you've jumped off a bridge and a seal saves you, you're like, oh, well, I guess that's a sign, isn't it?

A sign that, yeah. I guess life wants me round. Yeah. off a bridge and a seal saves you you're like oh well i guess that's a sign isn't it yeah yeah but with something else that you do uh you do inspire a lot of people uh one of the ones the other day i think you were quoting something else you'd seen if you buy a bottle of water at the supermarket it's like two dollars right you buy that exact same bottle at a hotel and it's like ten dollars or you buy a different one in an airport and it's like $10. Or you buy a different one in an airport and it's like $5. The exact same bottle, the exact same brand, the only thing that changes is the environment. Ooh, that's a great reference.

Also, water's quite expensive in some places as well, right? It is, it really is. You could also do that with Pringles as well. You could have. Mini baggages of Pringles. Yes, it's very true and that's that's the kind of stuff that i like putting up online to interfere with you know whatever's going on whatever people are seeing because everyone needs to hear that it's the

music behind it for me that you know helps inspire and i wanted to get some inspiring music and see if you could read out something that's not inspiring jono prize bio from wikipedia here we go and i think i hated it so much when they were it was so obviously taking such a huge toll on megan to the point where she did not want to be here and still people were like no she's playing it like it's like i'm like that's not of course someone who is in that getting that kind of hatred is going to feel that way like anyone i've honestly any of you try to get that level of hatred and tell me that you still want to be here.

I freaking love them. They are great and they also smell fantastic. It's because they're your dear friends. My dear close friends. Hey, Jazz Thought and Hope is Real,

the podcast is out now on iHeartRadio and wherever you get good podcasts. Correct. The hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Jono and Ben,

celebrate your special date with Dilma. You want to celebrate your special date with Dilma. You want to celebrate your special occasion on the show with a better cup of tea? Thanks to Dilma, you can text us through a special date that you are celebrating today and we'll read it out on the radio. It's like old school radio. I love it. Man, taking it back to the 90s, baby.

We're in bed with Dilma now. I love it. It's awesome. Ben, you did some weird stuff in that bed. Okay, I haven't been able to look you in the eye since. So if you are celebrating today, a special occasion, be it anniversary, birthday, whatever, you're

celebrating with a lot of famous people today. Shaquille O'Neal, Shaq, he's a 7 foot 1 with size 22 shoes. You know, 22! He just could, he feels like he's getting, the older he gets, the bigger he gets. You know, he's just a big framed gentleman, 51 years old. Same age as snoop dogg oh wow who's in the country this week uh dame kitty

tikanawa uh opera singer 79 years old today which is pretty incredible so happy birthday to her oh she looks great for 79 that's that's when you know you're getting old eh when people start saying you look great for your age no one's ever said that to me me. Liam Gallagher on this day headbutted a fan who asked for a photo in Australia. Seems like the appropriate thing to do, right, for my Oasis? He's like, hey, can I get a photo? Nah. Bang, headbutt.

Always great to acknowledge historical assault charges. There we go. They were quite unpredictable, weren't they? Yeah, volatile. At the height of their career. Anything could happen at any moment. Just quickly, the oldest message in a bottle was found on this day in Western Australia. 132 years after a lady threw a bottle off a ship.

It turned up. 132 years later. Message in a bottle. So found on this day. And the Beatles released Let It Be on this day. 1970. Mother Mary. I always thought it was religious.

But no, his mother was actually Mary, who passed away at 14 years old. She came back to him in a dream when they were having problems. The band, the Beatles, and Mother Mary said, hey, let it be, let all the problems be. Stick together, stay together, and they stayed together. This all happened to John Lennon in a dream. This was Paul McCartney in a dream. Oh, Paul McCartney.

Yeah, in a dream. Mother Mary wasn't, Mother Mary is in the religious sense. Was it in a sister dream? Probably. Feels like something that's taken him to another portal. And also, Ben, you don't want to acknowledge this, but senses. Was it an assisted dream? Probably. Feels like something has taken him to another portal. And also Ben, you don't want to

acknowledge this, but R.I.P. Joseph Stalin. Okay, no. The brutal Russian dictator. No, we don't. Geez, Russia's had a

bad run with leaders haven't they? Yeah, well true. They've had a few over the years. A couple of shockers. Happy 53rd birthday

to Justine who's visiting Levi and Erin from Australia. Lots of love for your birthday today. And also we want to call a winner now because we've got $100 to give away. Yeah.

And a Dilmar pack. You can text 24487 if you've got a Dilmar date, but we'll go through now. Hello, Renita speaking. Renita, welcome. Yes. It's Jono and Ben from the Hits Radio station. Hi.

You sound very quiet. Are we waking people up potentially in the house? No, no, I'm at work. Oh, yeah, where are you working? Like a library? It's at a pharmaceutical company. Okay, yeah. With the vaccine, was it a lie? Okay, let's not go into that. Oh, okay. With a vaccine.

Was it a lawyer? Okay, let's not go into that. Hey, you want to celebrate something important today, an important date. What's happening? It's my son's 15th birthday. Oh, that's gorgeous. Well, you know what? With Dilmar Dates, we get to acknowledge your son.

What's his name? Rohan. Rohan? Yeah. Rohan, Renita and Rohan, and you win $100 cash and a Dilmar pack. Oh, wow, thank you. Now, Renita, 15 years, has it gone quickly? Yes, it has.

What do you want to say to the people? Just enjoy your life and enjoy being young. That's a great, really good. Enjoy being young because it goes quickly. We can vouch for that. You won't be young anymore. You'll be like, oh, who's that? Oh, it's me. Well, whatever you're doing at your suspicious pharmaceuticals company. She wasn't suspicious.

She sounds suspicious. We appreciate you listening and I hope your son has a wonderful 15th birthday. Thank you. Heaps more dates coming through on the text machine. Jacob Christensen starting a new job at Eastpac in Te Puke today.

That's a big date. Good luck to Rosie Williamson heading on a big OE today. It's going to be amazing. Karen Pelvin, happy birthday, babes. Jo Gunnell wishes her mum a happy 77th birthday today. I hope that she's got more than just this for the present.

Yeah, happy birthday to Danny. Lots of love from Aaron. Happy birthday, babes. And Judith and John, 57 years, a wedding anniversary. Isn't that incredible? Oh, that is wonderful. I wonder how many of those years they've hated each other. None, none.

All right, all 57, they'll be loving this. So thank you very much. If you want to nominate your date for tomorrow, 4487, you could be winning that $100 in the Dilmar pack. Yeah, that was fun. That was really fun. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. The Hits.

Five words with challenge. Match five words to win five $500 challenge gift cards. Yeah, playing five words with a wee bit of a twist at the moment. You can match words with us. Up until word four, you can win $500. Then you decide if you want to risk that $500 for five times 500

challenge vouchers. So you can win all the petrol if you match all five words, or you can take the $500 if you match four. Just plenty of cash, plenty of gas, and it could be all yours. Christy in Auckland, good morning to you. Hi, how are you? Sucking back on a coffee in the car, are we?

Yeah, a bit early to work, mate. Oh, yeah, yeah. And, Wally, what you should be sucking back on is a Dilmar tea. Yeah, we'll send you out a pack, actually. I'll send you out some of my one this morning, Earl Grey tea. Start the mornings with that. Oh, Earl Grey. Can it be the other Dilmar?

All right, we'll see you both. We'll see you at Earl Grey and English Breakfast. How's that sound? English Breakfast would be awesome, mate. Just keep your Earl Grey. All right, mate. Jesus, you're picky, aren't you, Christy? We're just trying to hark off some Dilma here, mate.

I'm back in my Earl Grey. I mentioned the C word. Ben was like, oh, mate. We're all T, the T word now. Challenge you, everybody. And speaking of challenge, they've jumped on board this five words at the moment. Christy, who do you want to send into the soundproof booth? You, Ben.

All right. I'll take my two martini. You with your Earl Grey, mate. You go and sit there and have a good long hard look in the mirror. All right. He's in the quiet corner now, Christy. He can't hear a word we'll try and get five words out of you to match with ben this morning first words reunion

get together get together okay oh can i change that yeah i would if i was you that's controversial as yeah school yeah that's what i was thinking uh second word this morning a sprite for you change that? Yeah I would if I was you. That's controversial as. Yeah school. Yeah that's what I was thinking. Second word this morning is sprite for you Christy. Sprite? Yep sprite. Right. S-P-R-I-T-E. Drink. Drink. Word number three Squash Squash Mmm Can I come back to that one? Yeah we'll go to pencil The fourth word this morning for your Chrissy in her car

Pencil Draw Pencil draw And toy Rounding out the top five Toy Toy toy toy toy Car

Toy car and we'll just go back to word number three Squash what did you have for squash Um squash Oh my gosh Um grapes Squash break did you say Grapes Squash grapes okay did you say? Grapes. Squash grapes, okay.

There we go, you're squashing grapes for wine. We'll get Ben out of the booth. Welcome back there, Ben Boyce. Jeez, we're having some good conversation, rich conversation about you and your Earl Grey teeth. All right, all right. Okay. All right, Christy, let's see if we can win you some cash, all right?

Word one, $25 cash. First word this morning. Reunion. School? $25, Christy, what are we doing? Going to head to the $50 round? Oh, yes. Word two, $50 cash.

Sprite. Lemonade. Ah! Oh! Look at this. Yeah, as if she couldn't detest you anymore. You and your tea choices, now your word choices. It was drink.

Word number three was squash. Racket. Pencil. Pencil case. Toy. I don't want to say store. Jeez. Shocker.

Shocker for me. I'm so sorry. I'm going to drink my Earl Grey Dilmar tea and shut up now. You can't match tea or match words. Well, thank you very much, Chrissie. You're going to have a great day in Auckland, all right? Thank you. Thanks very much to Challenge Petrol Service Stations for that as well.

Yeah, putting the service back into service stations. We'll be back again tomorrow. Your chance to match up with one of us and to see how you go trying to win that cash or the petrol vouchers at 7.45 tomorrow. Don't forget cash and car just around the corner on The Hits. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. The Hits Cash and Car. It's a brand new Skoda and there's plenty of cash stashed in the back of that car.

It's worth just under $48,000. $47,990 is the amount the car's worth. The Kamek Monte Carlo from Škoda. And there's thousands of dollars in the back of the car. You've got to guess how much cash is stashed in there. And you're in with both cash and the car. The whole car. Steering wheel, the seats.

Everything. Over on More FM, they're only giving you a handbrake. We're giving you an entire car. Now, it's the debut of producer Joel who's had a promotion here at the Hits. He's gone from producer Joel to cashkeeper Joel. Alex has now left to travel overseas. You know the figure, Joel?

I do know the figure now, yep. You were handed an envelope on Friday. You haven't forgotten that. I mean, you went on a three-day drum and bass bender. No, I didn't. It was three hours. Come on. I can imagine him Yelling it out At the Thomas This is the amount guys

On the cash keeper He probably screamed At the top of his lungs Yeah Let's get Jane on From Waikanae How are you Jane-o? Hi good thanks

Lovely to have you on Lovely to have you on Jane Now producer Joel Was it a dream When you were at Broadcasting school Did you think One day I'll be

The cash keeper It was maybe For a different station A a different keeper for a different station. But hey, it's good enough, you know. I'll take it. Wait, wait, wait. Where are you going? Jane, things are getting tense in the studio here. Jane, shall we hand you over to Joel and you can have a stab?

Yes. Alrighty. Jane from Waikane, what was your guess for cash and car? $20,445.50. $20,445.50. Yes. How good would it be on a Monday morning? It's incorrect. I'm sorry.

But what we can do, Jane, just because it's my first ever guess, I can give you $50. How does that sound? Oh, that's great. Thank you. Not as good as $20,000 or something, mate. Maybe not as good as... Now he feels it's guilt cash, Jane.

Are we doing higher and lower? We're not doing higher and lower, sorry. Oh, Cash Keeper Alex would do higher and lower. Bring it back then. Bring it back if you love it that much. There we go. New Cash Keeper Joel paying off people he feels he's offended or let down. And that's how it's going to roll on.

11 o'clock, your next chance to have a guest this morning. And then, of course, 5 o'clock this afternoon with Brad and Laura as well. Cash and Car, very exciting. Hey, Nick, so I tried to do something over the weekend that I haven't done for many years. You told me what this was, and you're dead right. It's impossible as an adult. I don't know why it's impossible, but it was so hard to do.

What is it? We'll tell you after Rihanna. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. The Hits, you've got Jono and Ben. I almost forgot your name there for a second, mate. That's fine, mate. I was thinking about Harry Styles. Yeah, Harry's here.

He's definitely taking up a lot of your brain space at the moment, isn't he? Harry Styles. Well, he is. Very exciting. He's playing tomorrow night. Your daughter's going to Harry Styles?

No, they're not, actually. They're not Harry Hardouts? Oh, no. They'd love to go along, but you can't go to everything. You can't go to everything. Is this the conversation you had with your kids?

Because you're saying it to me and I was like, he's definitely said this to kids. You can't go to everything, kids. No. And not that they go to everything. Is this the conversation you had with your kids? Because you're saying it to me, and I was like, he's definitely said this to kids. You can't go to everything, kids. No. And not that they go to everything, but that's just what I said. It's a great way to get out of stuff. You can't go to everything.

You can't go to everything. It's life. Something I did with my daughters over the weekend that I hadn't done for many years, and I was really surprised how hard it was to do as an adult, was the monkey bars. Now, I thought, you know, I've seen a bit of Ninja Warrior. There's adults that can do that sort of thing pretty well, I thought.

And I thought, well, hey, I'm... Well, they're adults who have kept in shape. But I'm not like, I'm not, I'm not... You're 36 kilograms. Yeah, I'm pretty lightweight. Could you not lift yourself up? I could do it, but, geez, it was a lot of effort just to try and get along.

Like, it really hurt. But the kids make it look easy. They just fly across there. I'm like, well, why can the kids do this and I can't do this as an adult? I can barely lift up my car keys, let alone my body weight on monkey bars. Plus, it hurts your hands, too. It does. It does.

It kills your hands. Yeah, but the kids are so good at it. It made me think about some things that you can do as a kid that you can't do as an adult. There's a lot of stuff that you can't do. I find kids will make friends very quickly. Yeah. You know,

you meet someone for two minutes when you're a child, you're friends for life. Not as an adult. No. If anything, I'm suspicious of everyone. You're suspicious of someone

who's like, you want to hang out more? You're like, what's up with this person? I've just met you. Why do I want to hang out with you? I would say you're walking in

on someone else in the toilet is something you can do as a kid. But, you know, but but with as an adult well according to work we can't do it as adults you can't just walk in there and go apparently it makes people feel uncomfortable but as a kid that's something you could do right yeah a lot of action-based activities too i find and it's just because when you get older you learn a little thing called consequences yeah and you're like well if i take this lime scooter down the skateboard ramp at the park, I could break a bone. I'm off work.

There's admin. You don't think about that as a kid. You're right. No, because everyone else looks after all that stuff. Being a narc is something you can be easily as a kid. You can tell around telling on everyone. And as a kid, you kind of go, oh, yeah, such and such did that. But as an adult.

Mine was pretty easy during lockdown. I was narcing on everyone. Oh, he set foot outside of his property you're not that bubble we're all pretty good knocking yeah knocking during that i'd say also going nude is something as well as a kid you could just go freely nude like i was looking after my mate's kid a while back and uh he just stripped off the little kid by a fountain in town running around like if i'd done that center of town yeah yeah if you'd done that. Centre of town. Yeah. Yeah, if you'd done that, you'd definitely be hands over the front. And it would be like a prank.

Yeah. Like a punishment or something for doing something bad. Everyone thought it was cute. They're like, oh, that's cute. Well, it wouldn't be that cute if I was doing it. Was he frolicking in the fountains in town? Yeah, in the fountains. Well, my mate was like, hey,

keep an eye on my son for a second. I'm like, yeah, sure, sweet. What could happen? And I'm like, well, that's what could happen. Did he come out and say, when I said keep an eye on my son, I meant also, I thought I wouldn't have to explain, make sure he keeps his clothes on? Keep the clothes on and stop him from running through the water.

But then I ended up chasing the kid, and I was like, this is not a good look. You're not my dad. Yeah, you're like, come back here. Honestly, his dad's with him. It's going to be two minutes. Oh, run around naked, kid. All right, next, producer Joel, come back here. Honestly, his dad's with him. It's going to be two minutes. Oh, run around naked, kid. All right, next, producer Joel, cashkeeper Joel. He's helping you win a car every day on the hits,

but there's something he can't do when it comes to a car. Yeah. Which is interesting. Of your generation. It's not going to be a mocking session, Joel. It feels like that is exactly what it's going to be. Well, it might be. Yeah, okay, a little bit of mocking.

A little passive aggressiveness, but it won't be bad. What can't he do? We'll tell you next. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. Census tomorrow? Yeah, we've got to prefer your census. Even Harry Styles has to fill out his census.

He's definitely not going to be doing that. Someone else will do it for him, right? Some poor minion is going to, hey, fill this thing out. How long does it take to do the census? I don't know. You could have done it now, apparently. Oh, you can do it online? Yeah, I think you can do it online and you can going to, hey, fill this thing out. How long does it take to do the census? I don't know. You could have done it now, apparently. Or you can do it online. Yeah, I think you can do it online,

and you can do it before the date, but you've just got to do it by the end of tomorrow, as far as I know. Remember back in the day, radio shows would all start, try and start new religions, like, you know, the Star Wars religion or the Destiny Church, and that one took off, actually. That started as a radio prank.

I started that one. And it really gathered some momentum and some steam. But yeah, census tomorrow. But Joel, producer Joel, we've worked with for a year and a half now. And two things we've noticed about Joel. He's been consistently sick for a year and a half. Yeah, a year and a half. He's been a year and a half in sickness.

Would you say that? Yeah, I tell you, every day. And even today, I saw a good bit of a cold. I'd be like, mate, when have you not got a cold? But anyway. Today's extra bad as well. I'll just put that out there. Varying levels of sickness.

Sometimes he almost crawls it back by Wednesday, Thursday, but come Monday again, it rolls back around. But the other thing you were mentioning the other day, and this is indicative, I believe, of your generation, can't drive a manual car. Yeah, I've just never had any reason to do it never had any reason to learn none of the work cars are manual cars anymore i get it yeah there is no reason like if you can save your left arm from exerting any energy why wouldn't you yeah well as you say there's no the cars aren't made like that anymore uh you probably haven't even had the opportunity to drive a car.

Because at first you're like, how could you not learn on a manual? But they're just not around that much. My parents' cars were both automatic transmission when I learned from them. So, yeah, never really had the chance. Yeah, and as our dear friend Harry Stiles would say, it's a sign of the times. It is a sign of the times. Dear, dear friend.

Yeah, as he's filling out his census, he'll go, oh, it's a sign of the times. Is there stuff that you can't do as a fully formed adult i always remember you not being able to tie a tie for many many years a necktie and you were always a bit ashamed by that you'd go off on youtube youtube it so we'd get into suits matching suits for the tv show and then we're like oh it's john and it took me like i didn't learn off one lesson. Like I'd have to keep going back to the same YouTube tutorial and sort of do it in a corner of shame, trying to do a tie. Windsor knot now is all I can do. It's almost like when you can't tie your shoelaces as an adult.

Surely you should be able to do a tie. For me, it's... I used to wear the plastic ones with the elastic. Oh, the elastic one. They're great though great invention there probably along the lines of yeah I can parallel park

but I'm not good under pressure and when you put a trailer on the back of it oh back in the trailer that's just just forget about it forget about it

I can't even imagine opposite do the opposite do the thing and everyone starts yelling and barking orders and you're like I don't need this

imagine you at like a don't need this imagine you at like a boat ramp oh that's my first night there boat into the water

especially with other people waiting to get their boats and boaties too they would always be

here we should definitely do that for a social video take you to a Saturday morning boat

ramp so we want to chuck this open this morning on a Monday for New Zealand's breakfast what can't you do as a fully grown adult no judgement Saturday morning boat ramp. So 0800 the Hits. We want to chuck this open this morning on a Monday for New Zealand's breakfast.

What can't you do as a fully grown adult? No judgment here? No. Well, a little bit. A little bit of judgment, yeah. A little bit of judgment and mockery. And if you're willing to have some, you can win some Dilmar tea. Yeah, we've got Jono's tea, which seems to be very popular, the English breakfast today.

My Earl Grey tea, come on, who wants that? It's the controversial of both options. Yeah. Who would have thought? You've got some Dilmar tea for you next if you can tell us as an adult what you can't do. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. We want to know on 0800 The Hits

what as an adult is something that you can't do that maybe a lot of other people could. Yeah, great text coming through here on 4487. This is from Chris. I can't read an analogue clock I'm 35 years old and can't read an analogue clock I can kind of get it Well there's digital clocks all over the show aren't there And the analogue clock, it always throws you off

Just a few seconds isn't it while you Sort of work it out, it does from time to time Because you're not looking at it as much are you No, Holly, 31 years old, can't change a car tyre. At what point do you go, it's too far gone and I can't be bothered learning? Probably at that age now, you're like, ah. I must come clean too. Another one I thought of.

I can't count the month. You know when they say, oh, 1st of the 7th, 22. I can't figure out what month that is without doing it on my fingers. Like going January, February, March, April. July, is it? 7th? Yeah, let me count on my fingers. January, February, March, April, May, June, July. Yeah.

Okay. January, February, March, April, May, June, just 7th. Yeah, well done. You've got it. But I had to count on my fingers three times. To do it, yeah. Let's get Bronwyn on the phone.

Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Bron, not you, but your mum can't do what? Ride a bike. She can't ride a bike? No. So never in her life has she ever tried? Yes. She's like, it's not for me. How old is she?

63 going on the floor. 63, now that is prime boomer electric bike demographic you know when the parents come back and say oh we've been out for a bike ride no you haven't been sitting on a bike the electricity's been doing a large part of the work

yeah we go around vineyards and Hawke's Bay and stuff on a bike and your grandmother couldn't ride a bike either yeah my mum is going to be 91 in September a bike, yeah. And your grandmother couldn't ride a bike either. Yeah. Well. My mum is going to be 91 in September. 91, and she's probably, it's probably time to say that's not going to happen. You know, that's fair enough.

And they never hopped on the town bike. Well, there you go. Thank you very much, Bronwyn. We're going to send you out some Dilmar tea, all right? All right, then. Couldn't be alright? Couldn't be happier. Couldn't be happier. Changing lives. That's what we're doing this morning. We'll get Christine on the phone. How are you

this Monday? I'm very well, thank you. Lovely to have you on. What? You're a fully grown adult. I am indeed, yes. Yep, good. Just factoring that in. And you can't do what? I can only wink with one eye and I can't whistle at all. Oh, I see. You can't do both? I can only wink with one eye and I can't whistle at all. Oh, I see.

You can't do both. You can only do the right eye but not the left eye sort of thing. No, I can do the left eye but I can't do the right eye. Yeah, okay. I thought you meant this. But then technically,

if you're blinking, you're winking with both eyes at the same time. That's right. I'm blinking winking. That's right. What happens if you want to try and seduce someone

with a sexy little wink and they're on your non-blinking side? I just show them a bit of leg. That's an option too, I guess. Hey, I can't wink, but I can show you a bit of this. Okay, so I got quite fixated on that one. I'm sorry. But what about the whistling?

So never always, what, what? You've tried, obviously, but just can't do it? Oh, absolutely, yes. Definitely, I've tried several times. You know, see a nice man walking past with a what have you, and do you think I can whistle? You'd show him a bit of leg, though.

Oh yeah, out comes the leg, yep. And winking from one side, but not the other side. That's right. Winking. Yeah, winking, do side, but not the other side. Yeah, that's right. Winking. Winking. Yeah, winking. Do you want us to clarify?

She's winking. Winking. God, I was a good winker. I'm a giant winker. Yeah, that's what everyone says. Amanda, Ben's wife, she's got the mouth of a South Island sheep farmer. Yeah, she whistles really loudly. But sometimes I get a bit like when she whistles for me,

I'm like, I don't know, something about answering to a whistle just irks me a little. I don't know, because she is, like I could be 200 metres away and she'll whistle and I'll be like, oh, that's for me. I wish somebody would whistle at me these days, I really do. Well, I tell you what, Christine, we'll give you a... Oh, thank you, that has made my day. And I'm showing you a bit of leg too, Christine.

Yep, yep, I'll show a bit of leg. I'm actually sitting in a coffee bar at the moment,. And I'm showing you a bit of leg too, Christine. Yep, yep. I'll show a bit of leg. I'm actually sitting in a coffee bar at the moment, so yeah, I'll show a bit of leg. All right, mate. You have a great day. Bye. It's a year since Will Smith slapped Chris Rock

at the Academy Awards, and the comedian Chris Rock, he's apparently addressed it in his stand-up gigs around the place, but finally, I guess, officially it in his stand-up gigs around the place. But finally, I guess, officially, it's been put out there in a Netflix special, which was streamed live yesterday, and you can see on Netflix. Because no one's been able to take their phones into the show, right? So no one's been able to film him acknowledging the event.

It's been kind of anecdotal. People going, oh, he said this thing. And no one wants jokes repeated badly by someone who half-heartedly remembers them. Oh, he said this, and then it was a thing. And, you know, no one's going to remember word for word. Never the same, is it? No. It's hard enough to remember jokes that sort of, you know,

that you have written down from the internet. But this is what Chris Rock had to say. He went on for a bit more about it, but this is what he had to say about Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith. I do not need to smoke. Y'all know what happened to me. Getting smacked by Suge Smith. But I'm not a victim, baby.

You will never see me on Oprah or Gayle crying. You will never see it. Never gonna happen. I couldn't believe it. And I love men in black. No. Will Smith practices selective outrage. I didn't have any entanglements.

Yeah, he also talks about, I saw the start of it last night, and he talked about how people say words hurt. And he's like, when anyone says that words hurt, they haven't been punched in the face. Which I thought was really... I love how he's like when anyone says that words hurt haven't been punched in the face i love it he's like will smith will smith practices a selected outrage and someone's like that's the problem when you're at a comedy show and they're trying to prove it the comedian's trying to prove a point you never know when to come in with your woo or your claps or your

applauses or your laughs that's right because you know your greatest fear is being caught on camera laughing at an inappropriate joke. Or laughing at something they laughed at someone else. And they'd put you in the edit. They'd put you laughing. They could really stitch up the audience in that. So if anybody just sits in a comedy show just stone-faced, not giving anything, in case he's edited into some sort of inappropriate joke. I know how editing works.

They could stitch you up at any moment.