Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: When Saving A Child At A Beach Turns Into Your Most Embarrassing Moment!

Episode Date: March 21, 2022

We had a "Cliff-hanger Call" today! Sharon shared a story about how she was helping out a child in distress at a beach. But something happened to Sharon at possibly the worst time...! We also gave away $1000 to a listener off the back of our Live Free competition and when we called her, she had no idea who we were, and it ended up with her nearly hanging up on us. Hilarious! Enjoy the show!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Vids, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Hi guys, it is the 22nd of March, it's a Tuesday, it's Jono, it's Ben, I don't know why I'm talking like I'm listing off stuff. How are you? I'm doing alright, how are you doing? Yeah good, do you know we were having that discussion earlier in the show, it was off air, that there was torrential rain through some parts of the country yesterday and where we broadcast from, they also fell victim to this torrential rain.

But we didn't know it was happening outside the radio studio, so we never referenced it. Because it goes outside to the windows, yeah. Yeah, and there was huge flooding. Yeah. Flooding everywhere. I was in a street where it was bin day, and all the bins started floating away.

And there was just rubbish and deluge everywhere. You name a piece of rubbish. Banana skin. It was there. Yeah, right. Tins, bottles, food. It was a shambles. Yeah, it was a lot of...

We were in a very short space of time too, wasn't it? You know? So, wild, wild weather. And then it was hot in the afternoon, as only Auckland can do. Yeah. You know? If you're dressing for that day, you're like, what is going on? Auckland's such a mixed bag sometimes like that, isn't it?

Yeah. But then in other parts of the country yesterday, beautiful sunny day in Queenstown, apparently, according to producer Juliet's friend. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Juliet's friend was in Queenstown. The weather, right?

Yeah. The weather. Yeah, we all love a chat about the weather, don't we? We do. What's your favourite type of weather? If you're going to pick a type of weather, rain, sun, humid, snow.

Well, I love rain when you're like, I'm home, I don't need to go anywhere. Like, if it's raining, it kind of makes it, you know, like, I love that. You're like, great, it's raining outside, but I'm inside and I don't need to go anywhere. That's ideal. You know, like, watch a movie. Because you always like to be doing stuff, so the rain is preventing you from

doing stuff, and so the guilt of not doing things. I feel like I'm not missing out on looking. So it's raining out there, no one's doing anything. So I do love that, that's probably my favourite. But then when you're outside... When you're trapped inside... So the stuff you need to do is all based on the atmospheric conditions.

I just feel like, oh, I can actually sit down and watch a movie without feeling like, should I get outside and do this thing? You know, like, because it's raining. It's raining outside. So, like, if you were to watch a movie, let's say it's, you know, 28 degrees outside, beautiful sunny day, movie's on, are you sitting down watching the whole thing? Yeah, well, during the day, yeah, but I've got my laptop.

I'm doing stuff at the same time. Multitasking. What are you doing on your laptop? I'm doing some work stuff, cleaning some airbrush, getting on top of stuff, you know? So you're doing one task, but also achieving...

Yeah. Trying to do some stuff. Yeah. Just doing stuff. You know, that's it. Or I'll be in the kitchen, you know, doing, you know, like I'll be, oh, I'll wash some dishes

or put away the dishes, watching the movie, but I'm still, you know... That's the thing with life. There's wash some dishes or do, put away the dishes, watch it in the movie, but I'm still, you know. That's the thing with life. There's never not anything to do. Like there's always something else to do in life. Yeah. When do you reach the stage where there's nothing else to do?

I don't think you, I don't think you could. No. Well, you know, technically you could, but it's what you want to relax, you know, and there's always that thing. Like has the queen reached that stage? Well, yeah, she's probably got some people that can help her do a lot of that stuff, isn't she?

Yeah. But you're right. You just picked up my phone for something we were doing before, and you're like, my contacts are a shambles because I – anyway, they're a shambles. I don't need to get into reasons why. You've got, like, you know, for one person, you'll have seven different contacts. They're basically saved from different systems,

and now I'm like, I need to go through and clear that up, but I don't. I don't. I haven't. And you're right. You said you won't ever do that. No. Well, it's a job that you're like, well, this is a huge inconvenience time-wise. It's going to take you a couple of hours.

Yeah. For not much better result. No. You're still contacting those people. Yeah, I can do it. I just have to scroll through five versions of John O'Prior. Yeah. If I want to go.

What I find is I really appreciate you've got nine different contacts for Old MacDonald's Mobile Farm. Can we call this Mobile Farm? I love Old MacDonald's Mobile Farm. Yeah. When have you needed to contact the Old MacDonald's Mobile Farm? Oh, years ago, doing TV shows. We've used them before.

I think we brought, they had some animals, they helped us out with something. We did like a Noah's Ark scene or something for the TV show that we had. But before that. Why were you laughing? Before that I had, you know, the hotline to old MacDonald. E-I-E-I-O, I was calling him. You couldn't call him old MacDonald now.

It'd be ageist, wouldn't it? Oh, yeah, you're right. Just regular MacDonald who's, you know, not as young as he used to be. But, hey, he's still out there. He's getting amongst it. So yeah, maybe he's still got things to do. Oh, McDonald, you're right. He hasn't checked out.

Well, the farm never sleeps, does it? Exactly. No, he'll be working hard. I saw something the other day. Someone posted it. It might have been done before, but they posted it, and it was like the OnlyFarms account.

So you have OnlyFans, but then you have OnlyFarms. And you post farm for people that like farms. I was like, oh, OnlyFarms. Great idea. So what, like you check a photo of a paddock or something? Oh, that's a nice paddock. Yeah, you want to see more of the paddock?

Oh, so you're running a Friesian cow there. Mmm, let me see more. That's a great idea. It's one of those ones like, damn, I wish. You know, the pun's good. You know, it's always a pun. I don't know. The clever wordplay, whatever it is.

You could also do only fams. Oh, only fams? So it's just photos of your family. My only fams account. Pretty good for you and your family. Maybe it's just a photo stream. Other people are like, who's this? Oh, that's my cousin.

Oh, okay. Why am I paying for this? Want to see more? Here's my nana Alright, here we go What, $9.99 a month I'm paying for this? Hang on, I want to see what it is Sorry, I took a wrong turn

John's mum, are you? Does your nana take her top off? Have a great day, enjoy the podcast Very exciting day Yesterday at the Hits Wasn't it a great way to start the week? It was actually I feel like we should start every Monday

By paying off someone's rental mortgage for an entire year Gives a good kickstart to the beginning of the week Doesn't it? Of course, live free We've been doing it for a few weeks on the Hits Someone thanks to oneroof.co.nz Got their rent or mortgage paid for an entire year. We had a safe in the

studio. We had five finalists. We had keys that we had to select. Well, they got to select. And then it happened for Catherine with the purple key. It's open! It's going! You have just won your rent or mortgage paid for one year!

It was pretty incredible incredible A lot of yelling Yeah a lot of energy Coming from New Plymouth Would have been sucking A lot of power Out of the grid there In Taranaki But yeah

Great winner And for some reason She was on Zoom And she just As soon as she won Popped champagne And ate a chilli Yeah

Ate a giant Red hot chilli Which I know Yeah it's radio Maybe she thought we needed a stunt you know something you do like add something else marry your couch yeah so she did that for us and then she started crying and i couldn't figure out if it was you know tears of heat and burning or tears of joy inhalation there was a lot going on and a turtle as well we met a

turtle she had a turtle she showed us she's like He's a turtle He's a chilli You haven't listened To some of the madness You pop some champagne You ate a hot chilli In the moment as well My mouth's so on fire It was totally worth it I'm feeling so amazed I don't know how to feel

I'm literally off the ground Right now Did this actually happen? Oh I did Thank you so much Oh my god Go on then And go to it. Wonderful stuff.

All the family were there. Her mum actually jumped on and she's like, you don't know how much this means to her. She couldn't talk. Her mouth was burning. So her mum picked up the slack. So her rent paid for an entire year, which is about $23,400.

Do you know what? And it does not stop there, Ben. You know, starting wednesday then we're paying for petrol for everyone i know is anyone thinking about the hits bottom line here i'm concerned for the financial forecast for this radio station bankrupt yeah what'd you guys do we've got no microphones but we're going to use a petrol away we paid some ladies rental mortgage for a year so that's starting tomorrow as you say petrol, which is going to be amazing. We'll tell you more about that. But at 8 o'clock this morning, everyone who texts and can still text

to 4487 or can go onto our social media at the Hits Breakfast as well and say what colour key you think or you know is the winning key. Could be purple, could not be purple. That's all for me to say. Then $1,000 this morning at 8 o'clock. How cool was that? We got that to give away Amazing stuff, not too late to text 4487

And what, only 10,000 comments on the Hits Facebook page there, producer Behumps So good odds, great odds Scrolling through your feed Alright, here to fill your tank up with some unleaded 91 news Benjamin Boyce Ah, well the Prime Minister, um, she's under fire Who would have thought the Prime Minister People would be saying some things against the Prime Minister Do she's under fire. Who would have thought the Prime Minister, people would be saying some

things against the Prime Minister. Do you reckon she's just like, oh, it's just, ah. Hey, some days she's like, and it was a Monday yesterday too, she's under the fire. She's under fire. Where's Clark? I don't know, where is he? Where is he? He's under fire

for a decision to wait 48 hours before announcing the decisions from Cabinet. So Cabinet have made some choices around vaccine mandates, passes and the wider COVID protection framework. Well, I feel like they're going to get rid of the wider COVID protection framework because I haven't been asked for my vaccine pass for about eight months. Well, yeah, well, maybe that's the case or who would know? She's taking a couple of days to announce what's happened. Now, you were a fastidious

scanner, Ben. Are you still scanning QR codes? Because I was really proud of you. I was, actually. He would scan into work every morning. I'd be like, well, you know where you are. To be honest, I have tapered off because of the fact that, you know, no one's contact tracing anymore. If you get it, you only need to... And it's not,

it doesn't matter if you're in a location of interest anymore because it only means that your household contacts. As soon as that sort of stopped, I was kind of like, yeah, I lost. Oh, I lost.

No one was scanning more. My numbers were up there. Remember Pokemon Go when everyone caught them all and I was up there scanning everywhere all over town. But yeah.

I mean, Bloomfield would have been giving you a certificate of merit for your scanning. Now, not so much. You're a model citizen. Yeah, but Jacinda Ardern, it's taken a while to announce what's happening.

Here was her comment, but afterwards, David Seymour from the ACT Party had this thing to say. In the next 48 hours we'll use that time to make sure that some of the changes that were made, even this afternoon by Cabinet, that we've finalised those. She's made the decision that we have to wait an Ardernity to

find out what it was. Oh, Seymour. In Ardernity. Beautiful stuff. He followed it up with a meme as well on his social media as well with like the dictionary meaning of Ardernity as well. It's a noun and it's the period

of time between Jacinda making an announcement about an announcement and her giving us the decision. So there you go. That's what Ardernity is. She could have gone, I was just thinking when she, we're all meant to go hard and early. Ardern-er and early.

I've had a baby, I'm taking Ardernity leave. She's got a versatile suit. Why have we not tapped into this earlier? She's been the Prime Minister for how many years? Oh yeah, for a few now. It's got a versatile suit. It has. Why have we not tapped into this earlier? Yeah. She's been the Prime Minister for how many years? Oh, yeah, for a few now. It's the second term. Oh, yeah.

Mate, the punny person inside of me is dying right now, Ben. And just really quickly, really a cool little story out of the UK. A guy in the UK was sick of walking out to his shed. He walked out there each day, particularly in the cold and the wet and winter. And that's where he worked. He was sick of it, so he decided to build a tunnel and he basically built a tunnel an underground tunnel from his house to his shed he dug for days and days and days to get rid of all the rubble and everything under there but now he has a pretty amazing tunnel so he doesn't have to go outside and get wet what

was the distance between the house and the shed i don't know but the tunnel's like two meter high at one point two meter wide he You had to get hydraulics. They put a lot of effort into it just to go. It's a 20 metre walk. Yeah. So, but a cool project

and it's taken the internet by storm. I always wanted to dig a tunnel to my friend Ben Craig's house when I was at primary school. I've told you this before.

We started the project and we gave up very early. It became pretty apparent that, you know, it was going to be a good, it was going to take as long as the underground and the Auckland CBD. It's going to take an arduity to dig. What was it? And that is scrolling through your feed this morning on the way for you.

We've had so many great calls and texts on this. We started this yesterday after Jono brushed his teeth with Voltaren. What have you done? What product misuses have you done? We've got some more for you very shortly. They're hilarious. It is the hits. We're talking product misuses.

It happened to Jono a couple of days ago. Yeah, and I brushed my teeth with EmuGel, Voltaren EmuGel, and my mouth still hasn't fully recovered. There's trust issues there now between me and my mouth. I was just mentioning before, ironing a steak. Why can't you iron a steak? You could.

Well, there's stories of people at MIQ and stuff that were cooking all sorts of wild stuff on irons and things like that. Not recommended, I don't think. The toasted sandwich maker here in the communal kitchen, boy, oh boy, that gets used to cook. I saw someone cooking a whole roast chicken on there the other day. Julia, your friend used an iron for something. Yeah, that just reminded me. It was like year eight or something and my

friend, she didn't have a hair straightener so she ironed her hair to straighten it, which would have been so bad. A huge fire hazard. Yeah, for your hair as well because irons are just too hot. What about the microwave as a clothes dryer? Is that an option? I feel like that's going to end in a fire hazard. Could it not

work though? Smaller items, undies, socks, you know, you're not jamming it full. Something's got to go wrong there. Someone give it a go. Give us a go and tell us the result. No, don't. Definitely don't give it a go. New Zealand Fire Service is online too right now. Yes, don't, don't, don't.

We've got Michelle. She's given us a call. What's your product misuses, Michelle? So one of my flatmates went to clean her teeth and she used my denture glue instead of toothpaste. Uh-oh. Okay. So, yeah, like it's meant to hold your teeth in for like 24 hours.

So what, she just had very sticky teeth for a whole day? Yeah. Could you open her mouth afterwards? Like, does it really clamp it down shut? Well, yeah, she just came out and it was just, it hadn't set hard. So when she opened her mouth, it was all like stringy, but it was all stuck together. And it was just pink because it's a pink glue.

And, yeah, I was like, oh, my God. Are you asking Melanie if it glues your mouth shut for me? Are you? Yeah, yeah. I'll be trying to find a way to shut them up. Because if you hold it, when you put your denture in with the glue on, you've got to grip your teeth for, like, two minutes. Right.

And then it will not come out. So, yeah, and we were just having so much trouble trying to get it off. Yeah. And she used a lot. It wasn't just like a little pea-sized. It was a lot. Well, really, you're the monster, though, having it next to the toothpaste, Melody. Yeah, I didn't even think about that.

Oh, that's really great. Thank you so much for your call this morning. You're going to have a wonderful day. You too. Thank you. Good on you, even think about that. Oh, that's really great. Thank you so much for your call this morning. You're going to have a wonderful day. You too. Thank you. Good on you, Mel. Appreciate that. 0800 THE HITS.

4487 is the text. Product misuses. Fire them through. THE HITS. Talking product misuses on 0800 THE HITS when you've accidentally misused a product for a whole other purpose. I've just pitched, you know, the microwave clothes dryer. Could be an option.

No, not so much. Could you, I remember a friend of mine was staying in a hotel and he thought the microwave was the safe. So he put all his passports and everything in the microwave and he couldn't figure out why he couldn't set the pin on the... Jeez, hell, it feels like after a few drinks, that's something that... To be fair, someone would never really look in a microwave to find valuables.

It's probably a great place to store it. Put all your jewellery in your microwave. In the microwave, just remember that it's in there before you go to heat up something. Lasagna or something. Oh, 800, that's the telephone number. Joining us on the show, Craig, you're on. Hi, thank you. All good.

Product misuse, what happened? Basically, I thought I'd be very helpful in the laundry and do a bit of washing. And so what I did was I grabbed some of the powder out of the container that we've got above the washing machine. It was in a clear glass container. Took two scoops out and put that into the washing machine, did all the washing. Everything was fine. And then when the wife got home, she goes, oh, how'd you do the washing? I said, what do you mean? She said, well, we don't have any washing powder. I said, well, what have

I just used there? She goes, oh, it was the dishwashing powder because we've got the dishwasher next door to it. Oh, so your clothes came out squeaky clean. Oh, they did. Yeah. Very squeaky clean undies. Does it actually kind of work? Yeah. Well, it smelled okay. I'm sure with the soap it was fine, so no problems.

Yeah, his shirt smelled like finished dishwashing powder. Yes, exactly. But I think they're both soaps of some variety. They are, yes. So I thought it would have been fine, maybe a little bit grittier, but oh well, it is what it is. Good on are, yes. So I thought it would have been fine, maybe a little bit grittier, but oh well, it is what it is. Good on you, Craig. You might be an ultimate life hack there.

If you've got no washing powder, use the dishwashing powder. That's the one. You're going to have a great day in Wellington, my friend. Will do, you too. See you, bud. Shawnee, you had a product misuse. What happened? Yeah, well, we had quite a big house, and there was three bathrooms to use, but mine was the

communal bathroom that all the visitors used. And, you know, I was a teenager, so I had lots of products, as you do as a female, and my brother decided to use my bathroom and picked up what he thought was body wash, but it was actually hair removal cream. Oh, no. And where did he put this what he thought was body wash cream? All over. And did he lose a lot of hair?

He had a bit of patches on his hair. Shona did the same thing with shampoo, didn't you, Joro? Yeah, never quite clawed my way back. Good on you, Shawnee. It's a great call. You go and have a wonderful day. Thank you. See you, mate.

Jono and Ben, just like family. The family members you're ashamed of. Jono and Ben on the hits. Our next guest is a producer who's produced the likes of What We Do in the Shadows. She's been nominated for an Academy Award for her work on Jojo Rabbit, which is incredible. She's got a new film that's out in cinemas this week. It's called Night Raiders.

It's set in the future. There's after a war. There's a group of vigilantes. They're trying to get their mothers, trying to get a daughter back from a state-run institution. It's really, really cool. And she joins us right now. Chelsea Winstanley.

Kia ora, good morning. Kia ora, good morning. How are you guys? Good, good. Where are you? Are you in New Zealand? Because if you are, this is very early. I know. Thanks, mate. Stoked. Have we made you get up at this hour?

Yeah, you have. I have a coffee, so this better be a bloody good interview. Jeez, I thought you were overseas producing. I'm so sorry about this. Early interview with Chelsea. How have you been anyway? Good, mate? Amazing.

Yeah, thank you. Really, really good. How about you? Well, we're doing all right. Just very excited about the movie you produced. It's in cinemas this week called Night Raiders. Really awesome movie. We watched it set in the future, though.

But sadly, the future's not much better than the current pandemic in some ways. I know. Isn't it crazy? Because actually, when we made the movie, we were in Canada. And actually even when Dennis wrote the film, and I read it, I read a draft of the film back in 2018, I think. And it had things like the virus in it. And it was talking about residential schools. And then, my God, it's almost like she had a mirror ball and she's looking into the future.

Because now we're in this insane space it's so amazing when you say 2018 so so long ago how long does it take to make your average movie from coming up with the idea for it to until it's released oh my god it varies it honestly varies like jojo rabbit was 10 years that was a decade wow yeah it was just because certain things you know you have to put together. It's like a puzzle. You've got to get your finance, you've got to get your actors on board, and all those things kind of take time. Yeah, it can take anywhere from, that's a ridiculously long amount of time.

Anyone who wants to make a film out there, sorry, I'm probably bumming out all the young kids there. It doesn't take that long. Well, speaking of which, you're a part of spearheading the translation of Disney movies like Moana and Frozen and Lion King, and you're turning those into te reo versions. Yep, just a point of that. I didn't see you guys audition in there. We gave it a good crack.

Open to all. Open to all. That's pretty awesome. I mean, that's an awesome thing to be part of. How did that all happen? Yeah, it is amazing. Well, you know, this was, again, years ago. We were just thinking, God, wouldn't it be amazing if our babies,

and I mean Māori and Pākehā, you know, we all can actually just love this language. We live here. We should. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we can give our kids something that they, it's relative, it's current. You've got to go to the movies and see it in both languages and so we were like okay what's relative to us moana it's a pacific film so i think you just have to be a bit like headstrong and go well why not let's just contact disney and see what happens why wouldn they? And so Taika was doing the editing

source. So he was on the Disney lot and was just like, oi, give me a contact. I need to get in touch with the people who make these animations. And it was pretty much like that. We just pitched this idea and it was, I think it's all about timing. The other thing about Moana was that there was already the incredible talent from here from Aotearoa you know Jermaine Clements, Rachel House, Tinoina Morrison was in the original one so we just pitched it like look you know this would be incredible for our own community and to uplift our language and we're in this you know revival kind of survival mode so they were like okay. And so long as, you know, we don't have to give you anything towards it, why not? And the response from the community here was just overwhelming.

Because of the magic, they were like, oh, okay, you want to do Frozen and you want to do Lion King? Yeah, so now it's just a matter of, you know, our ultimate dream. Wouldn't it be amazing if, say, the next Buzz Lightyear film or Frozen 3 or whatever, when they want to come and release a film here, they go, oh, actually, the next Buzz Lightyear film or Frozen 3 or whatever, when they want to come and release a film here, they go, oh, actually, that country has dual languages. Let's do a version in Te Ao Māori and English and release it at the same time. Why shouldn't we? So that's our ultimate goal.

That would be our dream. That's awesome. Congratulations. And a good lineup of work, too, for the next 10, 20 years. The official consultant, official translator. Hey, Chelsea, congratulations on all your success. Sincere apologies for making you get up at this disgusting hour. Yeah.

That's okay, because now I'm going to wake my kids up. Spy. Know what's up. Spy.co.nz. All right, let's spread some celebrity filth on your toes. Ju, what's happening, buddy? So Cher has offered her home for Ukrainian refugees to stay in. So she tweeted basically saying,

I'd like to sponsor Ukrainian families in my home. They would be safe and cared for. Many people in my position need to step up to the plate. If I was alone or with my children and we were traumatised, I would hope someone like me would take care of us. And she lives in Malibu, so that's quite a nonsense. Isn't that a wonderful thing for Cher to do as well? How many is she saying she'll take in?

She hasn't specified how many she would take in, but I'm sure she's got a very large home. Hasn't given us numbers. I know New Zealand's opened up our borders too. To anyone, I think if you have family members from Ukraine, they can come in without any questions asked. Oh, that's cool. That's good.

And we're sending some over as well. Not like when Ben comes through, there's a lot of questions asked. A lot of questions. What are you carrying inside your body, pal? Come in with this x-ray machine. And Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher, they did have a goal to reach $30 million raised, and they hit that goal a couple of days ago.

Oh, they did, did they? Yeah, and they've probably surpassed it now. But, yeah, so they're doing some cool stuff for it as well. What? What's going to happen? I don't know. So it's like, eventually I guess they want Zelensky to step down, or Putin would.

Yeah. So he can take over the country. That's obviously the goal. That's true. But he's not stepping down. The rest of the world's not really getting involved, are they? No, they've obviously said it's not a good thing, and they've kind of, yeah, but you're right,

they haven't escalated things. It seems weird to sit and stand by on the sidelines, doesn't it? Yeah. But it just is the stronghold that Russia, and those massive countries, China, the States as well, have over the rest of the world. It's scary, isn't it? I mean, you know, Putin doesn't care what New Zealand thinks, really.

No. We're like, mate, stop it. Oh, okay then. New Zealand said so. Yeah. You know? I know, I know. And it's, especially after the last couple of years we've had. Yeah. Do you need this? No, no. No, no one needs it. It's horrible, horrible to see what's, the

images on the news every night are heartbreaking. Yeah, yeah, totally. I always find it difficult to segue from a topic like that into something more light-hearted, but hopefully... Well, what are you going from? Well, I'm going from that to Katy Perry doing something a little bit random. Good segue, June.

Thanks. So this is something that she could probably add to her CV, not that she probably has a CV. She's going to be the godmother of a Norwegian cruise ship. So a cruise ship godmother is selected to bring good luck and protection to the boat and when the boat is launched,

basically her only responsibility is to stand at the bow of the boat and smash some champagne. Big responsibility though. Big responsibility. And I imagine, you know, those bottles are quite strong. They don't always smash.

But the queen is a godmother to a cruise ship as is DJ Pitbull. So there are some people who are godmothers and godfathers of cruise ships. It's not to the end of, oh I spent 10 years building this cruise ship. Okay, who's going to be the godmother? May I suggest Pitbull?

Sorry, did you just say? Yeah I did. Mr Worldwide. Who better? We wanted to go worldwide. Sail the seven seas. That is your spy update for this morning Sorry, did you just say, yeah, I did, Mr. Worldwide? Who better? We wanted to go worldwide, so yeah. Sail the seven seas. That is your spy update for this morning. For more, you can head to thehits.co.nz. So good. Don't forget this morning after 8 o'clock, we've got $1,000 to give away.

Purple, if that's what you want to text. The colour of the key, 4487. We're giving away $1,000 this morning to you, thanks to oneroop.co.nz. Rated M for mildly amusing amusing Jono and Ben on the hits We're about to do Cliffhanger Course How's it work? Well it's a very fun game Where we get someone on to tell the first part of their story

Then we stop it at a point Play this dramatic music And you decide if we hear the entire story by texting 4487. It's kind of like, you know, we give you the entree. Do you want the main? Yeah, no, you'd like to think that all the stories have an ending there that is going to wow us and surprise us, but we don't know. No, we don't.

So if you feel full on the entree alone, you're filled up on those bread rolls and put that nice crab salad, whatever is in that. And you don't want to hear the rest of them, it's over to you. But we've got Sharon on 0800 The Hits. Welcome to the show, Sharon. Kick it off with the first part of your story. Sweet. Okay, so beautiful summer's day.

Decided to go down to the beach. Actually did have my kids with me. And so they were sort of, sort of further up the beach. I had my togs on like a nice halter neck one because you know I had a few kids, got a hold of everything. And then I noticed that there's a bit of a kerfuffle and a young guy, I think he was maybe in his early teens, had been pulled out of the water. He was sort of in and out of consciousness. So I thought well I work in the hospital so know, I'll have to go down and help. So Sharon has said there's a young boy in trouble. She's from the medical industry.

She's going to go over and help, help resuscitate him, keep him, keep him alive. I'm gathering. So, yeah, sort of. I think he was sort of on the way to being absolutely fine, but he was in that kind of hazy zone where he's like, you know, kind of a bit in and out of consciousness as he's getting better. I want to know what happens. Yeah. Okay, so we'll hold you there, Sharon. What do you reckon, Ben?

Well, I'm thinking it doesn't quite end up the way that I'm thinking it's going to end up, but I hope it's – is it a happy ending to the way that I'm thinking it's going to end up. But I hope it's... Is it a happy ending to the story? Is it? It's a happy ending. Okay, that's good. I don't know. Okay, so an unusual twist, would you say, in this tale?

Okay. Okay, I want to hear the second part purely for the fact that I'm one of the hosts of this show and it's always good to have a second break. Yeah, yeah. That means, like, if we don't hear the second part, then Ben, you're going to have to come up with something else that we can talk about. No, I've got nothing.

Okay. So Sharon, we'll chuck it out to the audience. 4487 is the text. Do you want to hear all of Sharon's story? I want to know how this pans out. I want to know if the guy was, the young boy was all right. I want to know if Sharon was all right.

You can text 4487. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast In the middle of cliffhanger calls We get someone's, what they claim is their best story We stop it at a point And then you decide on 4487 on the text If you want to hear the rest of the story Yeah, a lot of people can't get out of their car at the moment

There's one gentleman texting 4487 He's like, I'm meant to be inside having a heart transplant now But I want to see what's going to happen with this. So Sharon is back with us on 0800 The Hits. Hello again. Wonderful to have you back on in the middle of cliffhanger calls. Sharon, just to recap your story in a sentence or two, where did you leave us hanging?

So I'd just gone down to help with this guy who'd been pulled out of the water, who was sort of a young teenager, and I was helping them to stabilise him. So you've got a medical background. You obviously know what you're doing in this situation? Yeah. Okay. And we do want to hear overwhelmingly on the text. People want to hear the rest of the story.

Yeah, and there's also a couple of texts that you didn't send someone's help pizza out to there, Ben, on 447. So if you can get to that as well. But in the meantime, we'll go back to Sharon. So you've left us hanging off the cliff, Sharon. You're about to go over and rescue this boy with your medical expertise. What happens? So I stabilise his head.

I'm holding on to this young guy's head, and he's kind of looking up at me like, oh, what happened? And, you know, I've had a few kids. Things are kind of, like, when I lie down, you know, I've had a few kids. Things are kind of, like when I lie down, it's like two bald men in headlocks. It's not a good look, really. And you use those halter ones. Are you talking about your chest?

Yes. Oh, right, so it's like two of my heads. So, yeah, so I sort of tucked them into the top. As I was leaning over this guy, they both just fell completely out of the top and right onto his face. So, yeah, they were absolutely horrified. We're not even allowed to talk about this at home. So they're now resting on this teenage boy's face.

Yes, they are. And it was kind of like, oh, my God. And I sort of heard like a, because the crowd was kind of going, you know, there's people on the beach not wanting to get involved. And it was quite a busy beach. And you could hear people sort of going, ooh, ooh, with concern. And then going, ooh, like that. And then like, oh, my God, that lady's boots.

Because obviously you're doing a great thing. You're helping out someone. You're using your medical expertise to help a poor person in trouble. And then you're like, oh, hello. Well, I kind of scooped them up and tried to put them back in again. And so I sort of, they were, honestly, they were like pumpkins in a pair of full tights. And so I just kind of slung them back into this alternate thing and sort of pinned it there in place while trying to talk and pretend that this hadn't

happened. And we were resuscitating on the other side, all kind of like, did that just really happen? Did they just fall out? And they're not small. But I don't know, he looked kind of like a bit dazed. I think he thought he was either still in the water and two

porpoises were coming towards him, or he'd gone to heaven. He's hallucinating, yeah. I haven't done the St John's course for a while. Is that part of the course now, or is that... He probably should introduce it. He's got anything to get a bit of a perk up. It's like the test they do.

You count to ten Can you see what Oh yeah I can see you Well you know If the ocean wasn't getting In a minute He was going to get suffocated

One way or the other Yes he was The poor guy Please tell me No one was filming No I don't think Oh god maybe Now Sharon's like

I never even thought About that Hopefully nobody was Oh my gosh, now you've got me I'd have to Google it But I know the young guy was okay Oh good on you Sharon for helping out someone And for telling the story

It is one of those incidents where you're like We shall never speak of this again Yeah, definitely I'm never going to talk about it again Especially this film out there, oh my god Great story, Sharon. Really appreciate the call. We'll send you out some hell pizza,

giving you this best damn pizza this lifetime and next, okay? Grand. Thank you. Such a great story. We've got $5,000 up for grabs in about 30 minutes' time. Five words, 5K. It is the hit. Two semi-competent dads handing out semi-competent parenting advice.

Jono and Ben on the hits. I was just eating the sticker of my apple there. I was wondering why that was a little bit chewy, but there you go. That must happen all the time, those tiny little stickers. Yeah. I thought Jacinda was getting rid of the stickers. We're closing those out, aren't we? I thought we'd saved the environment by getting rid of the tiny little apple stickers.

Not sure if they're part of your five plus a day, but I'll do some more research on that. Scrolling through your feed. He's been scrambling up an omelette of current events and now he's going to serve it up for breakfast. Ben, what's been happening in the news, baby? Well, the Prime Minister, she's under a bit of fire, as we talked about earlier this morning, because she's making everyone wait 48 hours before announcing decisions from Cabinet yesterday. They made some choices around vaccine mandates. Basically, a lot of stuff to do with COVID-19 moving forward.

They've made these decisions, and now she's like, guys, you've got to wait. You've got to wait 48 hours. Now, this is like when I have a little bit of office gossip, and I won't tell Ben. And I love hanging it over his head and lording it over him. It's the same sort of ethos, isn't it? And Jacinda Ardern yesterday on the news said,

we're waiting, and then David Seymour from the ACT Party followed it up with a great quip. In the next 48 hours, we'll use that time to make sure that some of the changes that were made, even this afternoon by Cabinet, that we've finalised those. She's made the decision that we have to wait in Ardernity to find out what it was. Oh, in Ardernity. David, he's had a stellar couple of weeks with the news grabs, hasn't he?

Last week, this is dragging on longer than Ross and Rachel on Friends. Yeah. He's just been on fire. And it's almost like, how much time is he investing into wonderful one-liners on the news as opposed to doing his job as a politician? Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if he's got a whole lot of comedians working for him behind the scenes coming up with it. So you can, like Ardernity, put it out as a meme too,

as the dictionary meaning of it as well on his social media straight afterwards. Yeah, means according to him, Ardernity means a period of time between Jacinda making an announcement about an announcement and giving us her decision. So there you go. So you could also use it in the phrasing of, it's taking an eternity to find out where Clark is. Yeah.

Well, you're good in some ways. And just quickly, Wordle. We've spoken a lot about Wordle. It's the global phenomenon. By now, you probably know how it works, but you've got to guess a five-letter word in six attempts. Juliet, produce Juliet, you're hooked on it. Yeah, I got today's one in four guesses.

It's kind of average. You spend an obscene amount of company time on Wordle. Yeah. I like your Wordle output. Like, next performance review, 10 out of 10 for Wordle. Thank you. You got it on the second attempt last week. Oh, yeah, that was fantastic.

Do you share the results? Yeah, I share it with my friends. Right. But without giving the answers away. You know, when you kind of see. You share how quickly you share the results? Yeah, I share it with my friends. But without giving the answers away. You share how quickly you got the answers. Because someone's basically gone through and worked out, based on people sharing how quickly they got the answers, the smartest countries in the world for getting answers quickly on Wordle. And the assumption that English-speaking nations would lead the scoreboard.

It couldn't be further from the truth. So Sweden is the number one Word or country according to this as well. Belgium's in at fourth. Australia was tied at fourth as well. But just three countries in the world top ten were English speaking as their first language as well. Where did we come? We're 23rd out of 49 in New Zealand.

No, I'm middling. That's good. So what I think we need to do now is just the people that do really well, they share it. The people that don't, don't share it. Don't. Just keep it to yourself. And then we'll bump up there.

This is like us with the per capita at the Olympics. Ben's got a hack for us to get higher up the list. Do you do it every day? No, I've did it a couple of times that first week. And I haven't really done it since. I quite like the one you've been doing, the Hurdle one. Hurdle, where they give you one second of a song, and it's the beginning of a song,

and you have to figure out what it is, and you can get more seconds. Have you got today's one? Yes. Should we play it? I'm not going to. Play the song Hurdle. If you're playing Hurdle and you don't want to hear it,

you don't want to heard Hurdle. I'll see if I can. Can you replay it or not? Okay, I'm going want to hurt Hurdle. I'll see if I can. Can you replay it or not? Okay. I'm going to try my hardest. Okay. Okay. Ready?

Why don't you let me turn my volume up? I've got this one. I know this one. So I'll step out. Could you hear that? It was like a little. This is how we do the game? No.

That's the start of it. You want to hear more? Yeah. That's the thing. You now decide if you want to hear more, right? Play it again. Sorry, June. Okay. That's the start of it. You want to hear more? Yeah. Because that's the thing. You now decide if you want to hear more, right? Play it again. Sorry, Jo. Okay, okay, okay.

Oh, I want to... Oh, oh, oh. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Destiny's Child. Yeah. There you go.

You're not ready for this, Shelley. No. Oh, Charlie's Angels movie. Beyonce. Can you handle this? Is that that one? No. Go again? Oh, a Charlie's Angels movie. Beyonce, Can You Handle This? Is that that one? No. Go again?

Oh, goodness. This is amazing. I will sing it. What is it? Do you want me to say? What if people are listening? They can just turn their ears off. It's Independent Woman.

Independent Woman. Independent. Well, that was fun. It's fun. Great idea. We should have done it on the radio. We could do it on the radio. We just did.

And it was awkward. And probably dragged on a little too long if you talked to our boss. Yeah, it was actually. Emailing, it's a part of life, isn't it? It is, yeah, you're right. I know you do love an email, don't you? You're prolific on your email. I do, yeah.

What's your preferred method of communication, Julia? Do you like email or text? I quite like texting, yeah. Yeah, texting is my favourite. Immediate to the point. You can't go too long on a text, though, can you? Sometimes you get in there. Actually, no, I take that back.

Voice messaging. It is so good because it's like you're able to explain. It's faster than writing a text or an email, and they can listen to it when it's convenient for them. All right, Tinder swindler. That was his thing. What monster uses the WhatsApp voice memo all the time? But, you know, on email,

I never like to just get straight into business on email. I don't know why I do this, but I, hello, Ben, hope you're well. I always start with a hope you're well. And I don't know what I'm expecting from that. Because, like, if things aren't well, they're not about to unload over email, are they? No, you're right. Oh, shocking getting audited by the IRD.

Things aren't good, you know. Yeah, it's always one of those things. You're right. You always feel like you need to kind of start an email like that. But you don't get straight to business. I mean, they know that you don't hope they're well. I do. I hope that someone's well.

I don't hope that things aren't working out too well for you. Anyway, you don't ever hope that about someone, do you? No, but it seems like just such a false hope you're well. And I wrote it the other day, and my wife's like, why are you writing hope you're well? Hope you're well feels like. It's kind of like the thing where you're like, how's things to people?

And a lot of the times when you say, hey, how's things? A lot of the time you don't actually really want to know. You don't have time to know. Please don't tell me how things are. This is the opposite of what I want to know. You're like, hey, how's things? And someone goes, oh, yeah, well, no, not good. And you're like, oh, geez.

And it's horrible if someone's having, or even if things are going good, they'll get into a conversation, you're like, I didn't have horrible if someone's having or even if things are going good you know they'll get into a conversation you're like i didn't have time for this right now i shouldn't have asked it but you do i like it anyway you're like it's horrible if things don't go well but i don't want to hear about it well i don't mean that there's times you really want to know how people are people should talk to you more about how things are going you know that's a good conversation to have but sometimes you say hey it's things not thinking there's time for people to really.

I mean, yesterday, Ben, actually, we were doing the podcast intro and he said, hey, John, how's things? So today I was, and he didn't even give me a chance to say how things were. There was no room, no wriggle room. Because we were talking the other day, we're like, Jeremy Wells, who hosts Seven Sharp, he works in the building here. He's a guy that when he asks, how's things, he cares. Yeah, he's got that time.

He's penciled out that time to listen how things are. I know. Ben and me, we don't. How's things, don't care. Something that I also notice on emails, if you're sending someone an email and you want them to do something, you're like, hey, just wondering if this is okay, if you do this, da-da-da-da-da-da. You kind of explain maybe what you need, and you're like, hey, just wondering if this is okay if you do this, da-da-da-da-da-da. You kind of explain maybe what you need

and you're like, oh, all good if not. Like, totally fine. But then, like, the purpose of the email is to ask them. So it's not all good if they don't do it. You know what I mean? I love that. No dramas if you can't, you know. But also it would be really great.

But I'm like, hey, really, ignore the no dramas part because that's the bit I, yeah. You just like them to know that there's an option there. You're not fully bullying them into it, but you're 90% her. Five words for 5K. You're just five words away from $5,000. It is our Game of Word Association. We play it every morning on the show.

We tell you five words. You tell us what pops into your head. If all five match up with ours, you win $5,000. Off to Whangarei. Tanya, you're on. Morena. Hello. Yay, Morena. How are you? I'm. Tanya, you're on. Morena. Hello. Yay, Morena.

How are you? I'm good. How are you guys? You're doing really well. You know, you work in insurance, don't you? I do. Well, potentially you could be calling your boss today and saying, you resign because you've just won $5,000. I hope so.

Yeah, then you probably call them back two days later and go, actually, I've just found out I can't survive off 5,000, but can I have my job back? So, Tanya, who do you want to send into the soundproof booth to match words with? Juliet all day. Oh! Come on, girl.

Thanks, Tanya. All right, here we go. All right. So that means Producer Juliet pops into the soundproof booth, and that means Jono sits behind the desk right now. You're pushing the buttons. So it's always a nerve-wracking time for all of us. And always nerve-wracking for you having to do the commentary proof booth and that means Jono sits behind the desk right now. You're pushing the buttons. It's always a nerve wracking time for all of us.

And always nerve wracking for you having to do the commentary of the changing over of the guard there Ben Boyce isn't it? Yeah. Hey Tanya, let's win you $5,000. Okay. First word this morning is Celine. Celine. Dion.

Yeah, that's what I was thinking too. Lippy is word number two. Lippy, L-I-P-P-Y. Lipstick. Lipstick. Ben gets a little bit lippy, don't you? Yeah, I do get a little lippy. Workplace bullies me around the place.

Anthem is the third word. Anthem. Can we come back to that? Yeah, sure. Anthem. Yeah, no worries. Garlic is word third word. Anthem. Can we come back to that? Yeah, sure. Anthem. Yeah, no worries. Garlic is word number four this morning. Garlic.

Mmm, garlic. There's a couple there, isn't there? Yeah. I've got a couple floating around my big bald head. Yeah, me too. One you can eat and you'll probably enjoy with barbecues, you know, lasagnas. Yeah. Oh, garlic bread.

Yeah. Is that what you had? That's one of the ones I was thinking of. Yeah, garlic bread. Flour is the fifth one. Sorry, flour, and that's F-L-O-W-E-R. So flour. Not the cooking one, the other one.

Flower bouquet. Bouquet, it's a good option. That's a great option. A lot of heavy breathing going on here. And we're going to go back to anthem right now. Anthem. Oh, my God, anthem. Far be it for me to put now. Anthem. Oh, my God. Anthem. Far be it for me to put words in your mouth.

Well, don't. But that's somebody who says that. Regardless of what happens now. So now I have to back off? Because now I've said it. Now I'm going to back off. She's going to go, what words are you going to put in my mouth? What words are you putting in my mouth?

Okay. Let's just think what maybe one of the national sporting teams would do before they would go out to play. National. Oh, is that the word you wanted? Far be it for me. I feel like you just said, let's get producer Julia

out of the soundproof booth. Come on, Juliet. Come on, Juliet. Now, far be it for me, Juliet, to put words in your mouth. Juliet's just grabbing some headphones right now. Tanya, how do you feel confidence-wise out of, let's say, out of 10? Oh, about five.

Four out of 10? All right, here we go. First word we said, Tanya, was Celine. Celine. Dion. Yeah, Dion would be correct. You've had a perfect match so far. Lippy is word number two.

Lippy. Lipstick. Oh, well done. You guys are on fire. Two from two. Tanya. Anthem is word number three. Anthem.

National. Oh, yes. Far be it. Far be it. Well, far be it from you. Tanya, three down. How are you feeling? Oh, pretty nervous.

You were five out of ten with your confidence levels. Now you're only two words away from $5,000. Here we go. Garlic is word number four. Garlic. Oh, there are a few. There are a few. Clove?

Oh, damn it. Bread, garlic bread was the word we were looking for. Damn it. So, clove is another great option. And flour, F-L-O-W-E-R, not the cooking one, flour. Petal? Oh, damn it. What did you go for that one?

Okay, she wins. Tanya? Never mind. I'm so sorry. That's okay. Had a go. Hold your head up high, babes. You played a stellar game.

Thanks, guys. All right, you go and do some insurance stuff and have a great Tuesday. All right, you guys too. Spy. Know what's up. Spy.co.nz. Time for all of the hot goss. If you came here for room temperature goss,

even lukewarm goss, that's not what you're going to get. Only the hot stuff. June, what's happening? So a couple of A-listers have been called to testify in the Amber Heard and Johnny Depp case. So you may or may not know that Johnny Depp is basically suing his ex-wife Amber Heard $50 million for defamation. And this was after she wrote an article for the Washington Post where she explained that she was a victim of domestic violence.

And so he's now taking her to court for that. But Amber has called James Franco and Elon Musk to testify and I guess prove a theory wrong because Johnny Depp reckons that Amber was having affairs with Elon Musk and James Franco. But Amber has called these two up to basically testify. Say that they didn't have an affair.

Say that they didn't, yeah. Yeah, right. This is a really messy, isn't it? It's a messy situation. So she, sorry, he took the tabloids in the UK to court for calling him a domestic abuser. That's right, yeah.

And she testified in that case as well. Yeah. So what happened with that case? I actually don't know. Maybe that's still ongoing. This is not tied in with that one. I don't think so. This is a whole other, right.

This is a different one based on an article she wrote for the Washington Post, yeah. But there's a lot going on and it's almost kind of. That's sad. It's quite, yeah. Sad to play it out in on and it's almost kind of... It's sad to play it out in the public eye like this, isn't it? When we go through our divorce, we'll keep it private, okay? He lost his case against the tabloid The Sun

in 2020. He took a Kiwi guy to court, was the head journo there. Dan. So he lost that one, okay. I think I vaguely remember that. Gosh, there's so much news that goes around. And a petition has also started to get Kanye West removed from the Coachella lineup. So Coachella's due to go ahead in April. And they've just started it and they've got about 25,000 signatures so far.

And this is obviously coming after he was banned from performing at the Grammys just because of how he's been treating Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson online so they're quite worried about what he might do on stage. It looks like, hey, we don't know all the details but it looks like he needs some help, the poor guy. Yeah, he does. He's probably surrounded by yes-men, the type of men that I like to surround myself with, Ben.

Are you a yes-man? Well, you're in. Yes, I am. But you know, there's no perspective, I imagine, for the poor guy, especially if he's also got bipolar, which has been reported on as well. That combined with an obscene level of fame, it's a nasty recipe, bad concoction, you know, because I watched that doco that you got me onto on Netflix there, Ben.

And I don't know, it's just a documentary, but he seems a lot more level and grounded. Well, to get a start, yeah. Was that back then when he was younger? So can you develop bipolar? I don't know, I don't know, but yeah. It's probably, yeah, I would say it's probably maybe an existing, I don't know, but I would imagine maybe it was already sort of in him

or in his brain, but then it can be probably triggered by things. Well, there's a moment towards the end where he's talking to like a business sort of meeting and he's talking quite openly saying, I took my medication last night and today because I wanted to be basic before this meeting, but other times I haven't been because, you know, like, so he's kind of talking about, you know,

those sorts of things. And he had such a sweet relationship with his mother, Donda. Wasn't she a sweetheart? Such a huge influence over him. And she obviously died and that may have triggered things as well. We're just sad all round, as we were saying last week. It's sad for him, sad for Kim, and sad for the kids as well.

Yeah, totally. And that is your Spy Update for this hour. For more, you can head to thehits.co.nz. The great thing about listening to this show is that the day can only get better from here. Jono and Ben on The Hits. Tomorrow, amazing competition kicks off at the Hitz Fuel Grab, giving you the chance to win a whole lot of free fuel,

which is going to be pretty incredible. But we're wrapping up live free. Yesterday, thanks to OneRoof.co.nz, Catherine won her rent paid for an entire year, $24,300 worth. Yeah, now I know Taranaki, she's from New Plymouth. Usually they produce oil and gas. Well, yesterday, that region produced a winneraki, she's from New Plymouth, usually they produce oil and gas. Well, yesterday that region produced a winner, and she was a hell

of a winner. It's open! It's killing! You have just won! You're rich! All boarders pay for one year! That's pretty incredible. A lot of yelling, a lot of loud noises. She died yesterday at large chilli as soon as she found out she won as well. It was kind of like an episode of Jackass or something that we're watching in real time.

The chilli seems very unnecessary to the celebrations. But then she was crying and we couldn't figure out whether it was the scovilles from the chilli or the emotion from living free. It was a pretty incredible moment. It was so good to give that to Catherine. She was really appreciative of it. She was crying. Again, it might have been the chilli, but who knows. And when her mum came on and said, you just don't know how much this means to her, that was lovely. And I was like, well, you probably want to get her a glass of water or some milk.

A glass of milk, yeah. Now, anyone who texted purple to 4487 or commented on one of the hits, Pits Breakfast or hits posts around which was the most successful, which was the key that unlocked the safe. Yeah, many colours, orange, purple, green, blue, you name it. But purple was the winning one for Catherine. So if you did text purple to 4487 or comment on any of the hit socials over the last 24 hours, you are in the draw for this $1,000.

Should we make the call now? Let's go through,000. Should we make the call now? Let's go through, Jude. Hello? Hello. You sound suspicious. Is this Donna? Yeah. Hello, Donna.

It's us. Do you know who this is? No. Oh, okay. Let's make a guessing go. Who do you think it could be? There's two people talking out yeah? I don't know Oh okay

I like this game I like this game Two people One Describe yourself Tall Dark Handsome

That's Ben That's Ben Me Skinny Weedy Pasty Bald I know the voice.

The voice is coming to me. Keep going, Donna. Keep working with it. Okay, I'll give you a clue. Name your... Don't do this. Don't do this. I love doing this.

No. It doesn't make us look good at all. Name your favourite New Zealand media personalities. Your heroes. Oh. Name your favourite New Zealand media personalities. Your heroes. The two people you look up to and you're like, damn, I want to be like them when I'm older. The two people who make you strive to become a better person, Donna, who are they?

Two people that make me strive to be a better person. I'm a good person anyway. I can't get any better. Yes, you can't get any better. So you've got God, obviously, but then these two are just on par with God. Don't do this. Why are you doing this?

Who would they be? Can I? No, you can't. We're playing this game, and Donna's playing, and we're not finishing until we get it. Can I talk about another game that Donna's playing? Donna plays games. Donna's playing another game.

She's texting something. Is this the radio? Yes, it's Shadow and Ben. You haven't got me on the radio. Would you like $1,000? I would. Donna, all you need to do is just name the two people you're talking to right

now and we'll give you that money. Honestly, I don't know. I heard you on the radio saying that. I heard you on the radio saying that. Just got to come up with the two names and the cash is yours. That's the T's and C's, Donna.

It's not the T's and C's. I already text Purple. Donna, Donna, you've text Purple. We're going to give you $1,000 thanks to OneRoof.co.nz. Yeah, all I had to do was text Purple and I gave her $1,000. Exactly. There's nothing about remembering the names of the lowly radio hosts, was there? I don't know the names of the lowly radio hosts.

Donna, it's Jono and Ben here, and it's been... Donna, you're awesome. You're amazing. We're going to give you $1,000, all right? Okay. What are you going to spend that money on, Donna? Wow. I'm going to get drunk.

You deserve it, Donna. You're amazing. When? Now? Just after. Anyway, okay. Donna, you're the best person we're speaking to this week. You're incredible.

Hold the line. We'll grab your details from you. Well done. Warning. This show contains references to Jono's baldness. Jono and Ben on the hits. Cost of living is getting a lot of attention at the moment with prices being really high, not just at the supermarket,

but at the fuel pump as well. Yeah, it really is the topic of conversation at the moment, Ben Boyce, and it's kind of smokescreen from the pandemic as well. It's always just good to have a common thing that you can discuss with a complete stranger and get, you know, one to two minutes of banter out of. Yeah, you're right. The petrol's come down a little bit, but we talked about it the last couple of weeks.

It was cabbage. Cabbage was ridiculously expensive. Yeah, and you're a huge fan of cabbage too. You sort of outed yourself as a big cabbage consumer. I don't like a bit of raw cabbage, you know. Raw cabbage. And then we're having a conversation off here. They were like, celery's just like the most plain boring food

and he's like I love celery I do he's like nothing makes me happier than opening the fridge door and seeing a stick of celery I'll give it to you

with peanut butter celery and peanut butter good combination back to your childhood but I mean your bar for happiness is set very low if a stick of celery

can bring you that much joy so the price of living, a lot of talk about the cost and I thought I'd do a quick game right now. I've just, can we kick the music? The price is right,

John and Priya. I've just chosen some random items that you can get at the moment and you can just tell me what the price would be and see if you can get this. This is from one of the pharmacies.

I know who this is. Regain for men, extra strength, one month supply. How much was it? So it's clinically proven to stimulate hair growth in some people with hereditary hair loss. How much are you talking for? One month supply?

One month supply of regain. It's a one month. It's a one year. Okay, I'm going to go. What, $35? Oh, $67.99. Okay. $67.

Just another random item I've pulled out here. Dermal therapy hair restoring serum. 60 grams of that one as well. What do you think of that one? Now, this is able to stimulate and nourish the scalp, prevent hair loss. How many mils are we talking here? 60 grams. It's just a small amount.

Here, I'm going to go $20. Oh, $23.99. Not bad. And the final random, just a random thing from the pharmacy as well, growth bomb hair growth spray, 185 mils. This is actually quite interesting. I'll send you some links after this. This is quite interesting.

Just random items. Yeah. It gives you antioxidants, targets scalp hair growth and stuff. I'm going to say $92. No, it's $22.99. It's just some random items. What was the email for HR, Jim?

When it falls into the bullying territory, they like to know. If it happens in the future, just let us know. Now, we have written a song, a quirky little parody song to remind you how shockingly expensive it is at the moment. And I tell you what, if you didn't like the song, fancy

like, well, then you're certainly probably you didn't like the song Fancy Like, well, then you're certainly probably not going to like it anymore after this. It's Fancy Like. There is a cost of living crisis. Kiwi's feeling the pinch in their back pocket. You're saying that the word crisis does apply. You can call it a crisis. We need to do something about it.

My car's an empty. Needs basic maintenance. Requires unleaded petrol for sustenance. Drive it to BP. It's pricey. The word crisis does apply. Yes, pricey like a Keltex on the forecourt. Got that nozzle in my tank, draining money from my bank. Nine buck cabbage in the car too. One cheese, $12, damn, I got screwed. Two by my butter, I took out a loan. Extra freaking for a grand to live on my home. Thanks to inflation, can't afford to buy some bacon.

This shampoo costs $52. Pricey like, ooh. Call it a crisis. Price Brassy like ooh. Call it a crisis. Brassy like ooh. Call it an emergency. Brassy like ooh. A shock. Ooh.

Brassy like ooh. The word crisis does apply. Tested safe for listing from home. Jono and Ben on The Hits. The Hits. Edds or Tails Now Ed Sheeran we're very excited about this coming back to New Zealand next year the mathematics tour

is going to sit down and make everyone do algebra and equations before you're allowed into the stadium can you solve this equation his albums of course you know he's had plus multiply and things like that so it's all encompassing all those albums. So we're going to play the hits, Ed's or Tales, right now.

We've got some tickets for grabs at Wellington or Auckland, depending on where you want to go, and all the details at the hits.co.nz where you can get those tickets. Now, there's a bit of a twist, though. What we have here is a novelty Ed Sheeran coin. We took it to the 3D printer, and it returned Ed Sheeran coin. We took it to the 3D printer and it returned Ed Sheeran's face, which kind of looks half melted, doesn't he? It looks like Two-Face from Batman almost.

No, we played it to him, actually. We showed it to him. We were on Zoom with him the other day and we had a look at this coin and he actually thought it looked quite cool. Actually, speaking of things that look like you but kind of don't look like you, we're actually doing a promotion

for your company to New Zealand, obviously, giving away tickets with Ed's or Tails. You see what we did there. But the 3D printer, I mean, that's your face. It looks like your face is melting. It's kind of cool. It's artistic. Artistic, which is a nice way of saying.

Anyway, we're going to get Marnay on from Lower Hutt. Welcome to Ed's or Tails. How are you? Good, thank you. Great to have you on, Marnay. from Lower Hutt Welcome to Ed's or Tales, how are you? Good, thank you Great to have you on Marnay now, it's a pretty simple game You need to say whether you want Ed's or Tales I flip this giant 3D printed coin Whatever it lands on

If it lands on what you chose You win a ticket to Ed Sheeran Awesome And then we do that again to win two tickets However, if it doesn't go your way Then the ticket goes to another person. Or both tickets could go to the other person if you lose the first coin toss. So, you know, there's the jeopardy of Ed's or Tails.

You see what we did there? Yep. Did you see what we did there, Barney? Yeah. Because his name's Ed. I'm just looking at my grandson at the moment. Okay. So you want to pick right now.

You've got Ed's, Ed Sheeran's face, obviously, or Tails. What do you want to pick? I'll go for Ed because's, Ed Sheeran's face, obviously, or tails. What do you want to pick? I'll go for Ed because it's his concert and it's his face on the coin. Okay, here we go. Ed or tails. It's landed on Ed's. Yay! You've got one ticket.

One ticket. Okay. Now we're going to go again to see if you get the second ticket. If you don't, then we give away the second ticket to the next person on 100 The Hits. Ed's or tails? I'll go for Eds again. Eds again. It's like gambling.

I love it. I'm voting for Eds. All right. Can we get a double Eds? And it's tails. Oh, no. You get one ticket, though. That's still great.

Marnie, you can stay there because we have to go to the next caller who's going to swoop that second ticket off you. Stacey in Tauranga. Hello. You're off to Ed Sheeran. Yes. By yourself. But you're off to Ed Sheeran.

Yeah. I don't know how the logistics of all this works, but anyway, let's worry about that later. Unless, actually, can we get Mane back on with Stacey?

Mane, do you and Stacey want to go together? I don't mind. More the merrier. Yeah, there you go. You don't know each other, but now you're going to Ed Sheeran together. That will be awkward. Oh, well, who knows?

Yeah, thank you so much for playing, guys. That's how Ed's All Tales works. We've got more tickets to give away. All the rest of this week as well. Yeah, next, Ben. You've been asked to give some feedback, haven't you? On your performance from management. I'm going to tell you about it live on the airwaves next.

It is a heads you got, Jono and Ben. Your essential listening for non-essential banter. Jono and Ben on the heads. What just happened there? I smashed myself with the headphones. I don't know if you're filming that, but that would be a great video. 8.35 it is

Do you know our friend Bryce who works on the rock he said someone suffered the same fate over there I mean they say radio we don't get our hands dirty but boy oh boy they haven't seen a headphone incident

like that before Now something I've noticed a little bit lately I don't know if you guys have is you get someone to help you you know with a job and they get you to to do like a post job survey like some feedback on how it went it someone to help you you know with the job and they get you to to do like

a post-job survey like some feedback on how it went it used to happen when you and it still does when you call up a helpline or things like that and sometimes you'll get a little message afterwards going hey rate it how did that go would you like and those ones are easy to ignore yeah but but the face-to-face ones are starting they're wanting face-to-face feedback now i i always get nervous about giving uh less than favorable feedback well that's the thing a face-to-face is a very hard environment to give honest feedback and but producer b hum so i want to bring you in here now because it happened to you the other day yeah i made a purchase the other day and um as i was as i was getting ready to leave the salesman sort of started to walk me to the door and he he sort of

said oh one more thing um now in the next couple of days you're going to the door and he, he sort of said, Oh, one more thing. Um, now in the next couple of days, you're going to get an email and it'll be a little survey to, to share your experience with us. Did he talk like this? He was, he was whispering. He was whispering.

Cause I don't think he wanted his manager to hear. I don't think he wanted his manager. Now, why does he sound like he runs a pornography empire? You've got some options here. What are your options? Now? And then he sound like he runs a pornography empire? You've got some options here. What are your options? And then he just wanted to let me know, without telling me too overtly,

that a pass mark was eight. Eight out of ten. Jeez, that's a high pass mark. So he wanted just a general reminder, you'll get a survey, it'll be out of ten, but I will fail anything less than an 8. I will lose my job. Yeah.

Please be kind. This sounds like a guy clinging on to employment. He's like, if I get one more bad survey, I'm out the door. So you gave him over 8 or what? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, that's the thing. You never want anyone to be out of a gig, do you? I had one guy come over to help with the TV, and he was amazing. what yeah absolutely yeah that's the thing you never want anyone to be out of a gig do you i had

one guy came over to help with the tv and he was amazing like he really went the extra mile and at the end he gave me a little form he's like could you fill this out and i said yeah absolutely i love to and i filled it all out and looking and for some reason i'd got the the scores mixed up and i didn't realize that whatever way i ticked terrible terrible all the way through i gave it back to him again there you go mate with a big smile on your face. Yeah. You like that one. I'm giving him top marks. He sort of looked at it. There he is.

He sort of walked out towards the door. Then he sort of turned around and came back really awkwardly. He's like, oh, sorry, can I ask you something? I'm like, yeah, sure. And he's like, did I do something wrong? I said, no, you've been great. It's been amazing. He's like, are you sure?

Do you have anything you want to tell me about? I said, no, no, it would be amazing. He goes, well, you've ticked zero for all of these options. I'm like, oh my god, I'm so sorry. He's like, is the TV not on the wall? Yeah. What a savage I look like, just going, nah, nah. What I like to do is not

say anything to their face, not fill out forms, but then just go on social media. Just publicly bitch about them. Yeah, and that gets results. Our old boss here at the Hits Radio station, remember that? We had the internal ones. He was like, for me, for me, please.

For me. And he pleaded for me. He was like, please, can you just fill out this survey? Just, you know, it's the workplace survey. He still didn't do it. I forgot. But it was a desperate plea, wasn't it? Come on, please fill this out.

I just think, I always figure with those things, they don't care about my opinion. Well obviously they do if they're according to Bayhams. Todd's no longer here anymore so maybe it's maybe it's because I didn't fill out the bloody survey. He just needed one more 8 out of the 10 and he would have hung in there.

It is. It's you guys, Jono and Ben. Jono and Ben. Brought to you by Resene. New Zealand's most trusted paint. Kiwi made since 1946.