Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: When You Burn Your Workplace Down As An Apprentice...

Episode Date: November 23, 2021

We continued on yesterday's chat about the most amount of money you've cost your workplace, and we had Russell come through with a craaaazy story about how his friend BURNT HIS BOSSES WORKSHOP while he was an apprentice! Good lord. And if that wasn't enough of a WOW FACTOR, we also had our segment Wow Wednesday make a comeback. We had a lovely lady call with a heart-breaking story that just seemed to get worse! Finally, tomorrow is 100 days since we first went into lockdown so tomorrow, we're celebrating with EVERY CALLER WINS $100. Get your phones ready to dial 0800 THE HITS tomorrow between 6am-9am! Enjoy the poddy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, brought to you by Rosene, New Zealand's most trusted paint. Kiwi made since 1946. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Hey guys, welcome to the podcast. It's Jonathan here, Benjamin there, Benjamin. Did you not talk about anything on the show that you would like to talk about in the podcast intro? Oh, well. Do you ever drive home with an excess of content and you're like, damn it, I didn't use that piece of content? No, because then the radio show happens again the next day.

So I'm always tentative to what I say in the podcast intro because then you, are you burning content? You know? So we're not getting the best of Ben in these podcast intros. Is that what you're telling me? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Because, you know, if I go, Hey, I wanted to talk about my dog watching me make a sandwich the other day

and what he was thinking. Well, then if I talk about that tomorrow on the show, you'll go, Oh, I heard that on the podcast. Yeah, right. Well, treat this. Why don't you treat this like, have you got an idea? Have you got an idea floating around? Treat it like a dress rehearsal

no but then but then sometimes you nail it better on the podcast and then you do it again later you're like so he's holding back on us podcast audience

yeah I am you're not getting 110 Ben here you get that in the show but outside what percentage of you are we getting in this podcast

this is like after I liken this to an athlete who's just played a game and afterwards they're not giving their best performance in the post-match interview, are they? They left it all out there on the field. You know? They're not bringing, you know?

You don't talk to LeBron James after the game and then he's like, hey, why don't we do some dunks? You know? You know? You're like, he's done everything in the game. He's done all his dunking. Yeah. So you're saying you've had a slam dunk today

And there's no more I wouldn't say I've done that He's dunked out Can I just say, you've compared yourself To an athlete, what we do to Professional athletes And not only just an athlete, one of the greatest Basketballers of all time

You've compared that to you How did you think the game went? I don't know, but watch me do some other moves and stuff. I've got some more. I've got more in the tank, guys. Watch me, watch me. The tank's empty. I see what you're saying.

Yeah, that's probably my thing, you know, like save it for the next game. That's, you know, the podcast is a reflection. But if you want to, you know, if you want to burn some content, you go for it. Oh, no. That's on you. I'm allowed to. You know, if you want to burn some content, you go for it. Oh, no. That's on you. I'm allowed to. You know this content train doesn't stop. It is relentless.

It is. No, you know, we've had cushy afternoon shows up until this breakfast gig we're doing now. It's a whole other ballgame, isn't it? The breakfast, I mean, you know, full credit to all those breakfast shows that have been going. Oh, yeah. You know, you're Roger Farrelly's of the rock. Yeah. You've been doing that for like 30 years.

And it's amazing. You know, every week you're like, I just don't know if I've got anything else to talk about. I don't. Nothing's happened in my life. I was thinking about that this morning. You are constantly, and hey, this is not a hard job by any stretch. We're not saying we're here bloody, you know. Saving lives or doing something, you know.

No, no, no. We're saving lives. Don't talk it down hey I just compared myself to an athlete saving lives I was thinking today you're just never not thinking

about this job, it's always bubbling away in the back of your mind about oh could I use that, can I turn that into something all day even when I'm lying in bed, can I talk about? Can I turn that into something? You know? All day. All day. Even when I'm lying in bed. Can I talk about lying in bed? You know? It's always there.

It's always there. But, you know, now we're even making content out of talking about making content. Yes. That's how desperate it's become. Doing your speech on making a speech at school, right? You know? Yeah. So we're not going to get nothing from Ben.

You get nothing, mate. You get a reflection of it was a good game, one game at a time. And don't watch me dunk because I've done all the dunking. The dunks have been dunked. Tomorrow on the show, on the podcast, I want to listen to the podcast audience a bit of a push forward to tomorrow's program. 100 days of lockdown in New Zealand tomorrow.

We're celebrating by giving every caller $100. Now, it's not something to celebrate because no one really... Are we allowed to talk about this? Is this going to be burning content? Is this going to be dunking after the dunk? Well, I mean, no one wants to celebrate lockdown. None of us want to be in lockdown. But it's probably, as you said today, it's a milestone to go,

well, hey, let's reward some people with $100, you know, because we've been through a lot. That's right. So that's tomorrow live. That's going to be in real time on the show. uh this is the podcast and you're going to have a great day keep safe new zealand's breakfast this is jonathan ben on the hits wednesday morning jonathan ben back with you on the hits good morning everyone how's everyone doing i'm confused i'm confused this morning every morning i go through this uncoordinated Paso Doble with my lights in the house.

Right. The person who owned the house, you know, some people are like lights people. I had a friend, Robert, who's like lighting was the most important thing to him at a party or in his house. And so the person before me has put like 12 light switches in the kitchen. So every morning I just don't know what switch is connected to what light. And I have to turn them all on. And it takes me about 10 minutes to get to the one that I'm actually wanting to use and turn off.

And then sometimes you've got like two light switches that operate with the one light. And if one's turned off the other thing, then that one's down and that one's, yeah, that's another confusing situation. It must look like I'm sending a panic signal every morning from my household to a faraway land. Hey, we got $5,000 up for grabs this morning.

As well as that, because it is 100 days of lockdown, tomorrow we've got something very exciting that everyone, not just people in lockdown, can enjoy. So we'll fill you in with that in about the next... It's another three months of lockdown. The next 20 minutes. But next, there's something going around social media, and you want to bring it to the show.

I would like to bring it to the show. And it involves us. Yes, it involves you guys, and it will bring me much joy. Live free. The Summer Holiday Edition with Shkoda. Yes, thanks so much to Shkoda for jumping on board with us. This is an amazing prize that someone could win for summer. $5,000 summer holiday and the use of the brand new Škoda Kodiaq

seven-seater SUV. You'll be one of the first in New Zealand to experience the seven-seater Kodiaq as you go on your own adventure over summer. Oh, Deborah and Raglan, doesn't that just sound exquisite? Oh, my gosh, it sounds amazing. Anywhere except being locked up would be amazing right now. Yeah, $5,000, the use of a Škoda, it's got four wheels and it wants you inside it, Debra. Now, you need to, mate, need to, that sounded...

Sorry, Debra. Yeah, anyway. That's not something cool for. Bit early for that. Bit early for that, carry on, you're right. Yeah, you're right. Debra, where would you take the Škoda in your 5k over summer if you won? Well, actually, the kids have never been down south,

and I haven't been for about 40 years since I had them, so it would be great to take them down there and have a look around and support the south. Yeah, I'd love it. Head to the South Island. Okay, well, if you do get this car, remember it's only for two weeks. Don't sort of, you know, rob a bank or get in a race with Vin Diesel or anything. We'll give it a go.

Yeah, good on you, Debra. What's up today, mate? What are you up to? Oh, just dropping the kids to school and getting a new kitchen put in from a flood. So, you know, just the normal boring things you do. What did you guys do? Did you have a flood in Raglan recently? Oh, no, no, just of the burst pipes burst in the kitchen

oh that stuff when it happens you're like I don't need this I don't need this in my day not this time of year

no yeah all good all good thank you so much you're in the draw hopefully you get that car and then you go

to the South Island you get the $5,000 which I'm sure will help pay for the fund costs yeah that'll be

perfect thank you hey nice talking to you Deborah. Your chance next time you have you hear the cue to call and you could be having an amazing summer on us. Morning, this show contains traces of Jono and Ben. The Hits with Jono and Ben for breakfast. We're talking about the most damage caused at work.

Have you caused damage at work? Oh, you poured coffee. Remember we left the Rock Radio station and you poured your. Remember we left the rock radio station, you poured your herbal red tea. Yeah, it was like a raspberry tea at the rock. You know, people look at you like, are you drinking that? And I'm like, yeah, I enjoy a herbal hot raspberry tea.

I love it. And it was just after we were leaving the rock. We said we're leaving, and then that same day you poured tea all over the expensive... Not on purpose. It was just like I knocked it, but of all the days to do it and it was one of those things the text you know they're like is there sugar in it is there sugar in it so that caused a lot of doubt i don't know what i don't know what i would do if i lost this job

like in the world i've got no skills to offer the workforce. Have you? No, probably not. You know, away from this industry. Could you go be a teacher at broadcasting school? No, I could probably be one of those annoying people on the hagglers on the street with a portable speaker and a microphone going, come into my $2 store!

Everything $2! Get in here now! Just sort of harassing people as they go about their day. It's probably the only thing I could do. Yeah, well, 0800 the hits, the most amount of damage that you have cost your work. Right now we've got Russell on the phone. What was it, Russell?

Oh, so a mate of mine, he cost his boss close to a million rand in South Africa. So basically his boss had decided to take a weekend off to the bats, and the guy that he put in charge of locking up the workshop was an apprentice who basically had only been there for a couple of weeks. But his job was plain and simple, just to lock up the workshop. And decided on the Saturday, well, he's got the workshop to himself. So he was going to do a private job on some guy's car. Brought the car into the workshop,

along with all the high-end vehicles, Jaguars and Land Rovers in the workshop, Mercedes, and he was doing some brazing underneath the car. And while underneath the car, he didn't realize that the actual carpet inside the car had set the light. And with that, the whole car was engulfed in flames. But being underneath the car, by the time he realized this had happened, it was too late. And the whole car was engulfed in flames. But being underneath the car, by the time he realized this had happened,

it was too late. And the whole workshop landed up going up in flames along with all the hiding cars in the workshop. Oh, my goodness. The boss is like, you just had to lock the door. You just had to turn the lock on the door. The funny thing is his batch was in an area where he couldn't get signal. So up until the time that he basically came back from his batch,

he didn't know that his workshop had turned into ash. I guess the employee could have gone, well, the good news is I locked the door. Yeah, the door was locked. The boss was a friend of mine, so the laugh was, the first thing he said to me was, okay, the guy only had one job, and that was just to lock the door,

and yeah, he's gone and wasted his whole workshop. Oh, that's brilliant, Russell. You have a great morning. See you, G2. See you, mate. All right, we're bringing you the news that you need to know, and if you didn't need to know it, we'll then just delete it from your memory after you hear it.

Now, Boris Johnson, UK Prime Minister. Now, at the best of times, we've often said he looks a little bit like... A little bit, I guess, things are not... Frazzled. Yeah, fra Prime Minister. Now, at the best of times, we've often said he looks a little bit like... A little bit, I guess, things are not... Frazzled. Yeah, frazzled. Yeah, he's always like, he's not quite in control of his day. He always looks like he's got up the alarm clock, he's slept through, he's rustled, he's just chucked clothes on, he's kind of just messed his hair up a bit and he's just gone out there

and he just always feels like he might be running 10 minutes late to everything. That's the vibe I get from Boris Johnson. He's a very busy person. I imagine running a country would be a very busy job but yesterday Boris Johnson, the UK Prime Minister, made a rambling speech, and this is a rambling speech for him, to business leaders in the UK and he talked a lot

about Peppa Pig and he appeared a little bit confused by the contents of his speech. Maybe he hadn't read it before, maybe not, but have a listen to him talking to business leaders about Peppa Pig. Tony, yesterday I went, as we all must, to Peppa Pig World. I don't know if you've been to Peppa Pig World. Who's been to Pansy?

I've been to Peppa Pig World. Not enough. I was a bit hazy when I would find the Peppa Pig World, but I loved it. Peppa Pig World is very much my kind of place. But the real lesson for me going to Peppa Pig World, and I'm surprised you haven't been there, was about the power

of UK creativity. Who would have believed, Tony, that a pig that looks like a hairdryer, a pig that was rejected by the BBC, would now be exported to 180 countries with theme parks both in America and in China as well as in the New Forest.

Oh, so he had a point. He kind of had a point. He had a point. So you sort of, yeah. Hands up who's been there. Don't do a hands up. Don't ever do a hands up. Business leaders.

It's not a kindergarten class, you know? Yeah. Paper pick business leaders. Don't ever do a hands up. Business leaders. It's not a class, a kindergarten class, you know. Yeah. Paper picking business leaders. Yeah, I've been to paper picking world. Maybe the speech writer I don't think would be working today. After that one. Boris going, what was the paper picking? Write one more speech for your leaving party, because you're fired. That's the words of the Australian Prime Minister, Scott Morrison, too,

was likening our response to COVID and lockdowns to The Croods. The Croods? It's like The Croods. You've all seen The Croods? It's a great movie, and, you know, the family's locked up, and all the New Zealanders are just wanting to escape the cave, like the girl in The Croods. What is it with the world leaders? Is it like they've just suddenly gone on to kids' cartoons?'ve got that audio from scott morrison right now okay now it's like

that movie in the croods people wanted to stay in the cave some wanted to stay in the cave and that young girl she wanted to go out and live again and deal with the challenges of living in a different world well covid is a new different world and we need to get out there and live in it we can't stay in the cave and we can get out of it safely. That's what the plan does. These people are running the world. I know. The world.

I realise that's not a true story, the Croods, but anyway, that is scrolling through your feed this morning. Spy, know what's up, spy.co.nz. Do you want the truth? You can't handle the truth and don't worry, you're probably not going to get the truth here because I'm pretty sure a lot of this stuff's just made up by third parties. But Juliet is spy entertainment news.

So I think we've mentioned this quite a while ago, and we haven't really brought it up since, but you know how some celebrities say that they're interested in running for office? And I think, you know, Dwayne the Rock Johnson's been asked it. One of the people who... I love how we're just like, you're famous, you'd be good at running the USA. You'd be a good president. It's so funny that we're sort of...

I saw you in Tooth Fairy. What was he in? The Tooth Fairy? Run the White House. Yeah. But one of the people that is being considered for a political career is Matthew McConaughey. And he grew up in the state of Texas. And he has, I guess, expressed interest in becoming the Texas governor.

He is very into politics. It's something that he cares about a lot, and they did a poll in Texas. I mean, granted, only 1,000 people were part of this poll, but 40% of people want him to run for office, and when it came to when it came to like they compared head-to-head would you prefer Matthew McConaughey as your governor or would you prefer whatever well the answer is always Matthew McConaughey yeah you're gonna give me an option I don't even want to know the other person's name he came out on top each time when he was compared

to other potential leaders of course he's gonna yeah yeah but like I don't know if you're right if they came to you today and they went, let's say Phil Goff stepping down from Mayor of Auckland and they came to you and said, we're going to have Jeff Smith or whatever or Matthew McConaughey.

You'd go Matthew McConaughey because I don't know Jeff Smith. That's actually true. But then when it actually came to like actually Carpene couldn't even remember Jeff Smith's name.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly. And he's made up. It's hard to come up with a made-up name on the spot. It is. Really, it is one of, you know, you don't appreciate that about radio because a lot of the time we are making up names on the spot. And it's tough.

Gary Stintanton. You end up going for the defaults. I'd just be like Sarah, Emma, Rachel. Those are common names. You should well be. I did. Oh, Jeff. You'd be happy.

And Adele, she is kind of all over the headlines at the moment. One of the things she did recently was, it's a UK show

called An Audience With and in this case it was An Audience With Adele and it's basically where the audience is filled with celebrities or invited guests and the artist

or comedian performs and Adele would perform a bunch of her songs and those guests in the audience get to stand up and ask questions. Oh, it's like an open forum with famous people. Yeah, it's quite a cool, yeah, I've never really heard of it before. So basically we're just watching famous people have a fun night out.

Yeah, I know, I had a pressing for that. And some of the celebrities who were in the audience with Adele were Dua Lipa, Emma Watson, Samuel L. Jackson, Emma Thompson, a real star-studded audience. And Emma Thompson, a clip is going around the internet of Emma Thompson asking Adele a question and what it turned out to be is incredible. When you were younger, was there someone who kind of supported you and you know protected you and inspired you to sort of go on yeah i had um a teacher at chestnut grove who taught me english that was miss mcdonald did you ever keep in touch

did you see no she left when i was in year eight she got me really into literature a lot i've always been obsessed with english and obviously now i write lyrics she was so bloody cool yeah because it's odd actually funny enough she's here tonight Oh my god, actually, funny enough. Is she here? Is everybody here? She's here tonight. Hello, hey! Oh my god, I'm so proud of you. I didn't know that you were coming.

I thought you were supposed to be here. Oh my god. Oh, it was a big tear for you. It's a really emotional watch, isn't it? It was. It was like literally when I first watched it, I was literally like crying. It was so cute. Yeah, my wife Amanda was watching it in the kitchen last night and had tears down her face. Oh I first watched it, I was literally like crying. It was so cute. Yeah, my wife Amanda was watching it in the kitchen

last night and had tears down her face. Oh my God, it's literally the cutest thing ever. I'm welling up right now. It is so cute. So Adele was blubbering and... Oh yeah. She was like,

I need to get my face redone. Yeah. And then I think Jimmy Carr, he's a comedian, right? He came on stage. Adele was like, Jimmy, Jimmy, come on stage. Come on stage.

I need to get my face retouched. So she runs off stage getting her face retouched and Jimmy Carr's just standing there like, what do I do? How do you get, what do you do after that? Well, his jokes stage, come on stage, I need to get my face retouched. So she runs off stage getting her face retouched, and Jimmy Carr's just standing there like, what do I do? Well, his jokes are, you know. I've got some material I can do right now. I don't know if it's appropriate for an Adele audience.

Especially after what's just happened on stage. And that is your Spy Update for this morning. More you can hear at stock.co.nz. Hard-hitting interviews and informed opinion. Mike Hosking on Newstalk ZB. In the meantime, here's Jono and Ben. The hits.co.nz Hard-hitting interviews and informed opinion Mike Hosking on Newstalk ZB In the meantime here's Jono and Ben

The Hits Politics That's our politics corner It's time to get serious for a second guys You know when we're in a corner it makes things official

doesn't it? Back this into a politics corner but the National Party not going as well in the polls of late even with Labour dipping slightly

it seems like the Ag Party is really the big benefit of how things are going at the moment. Do you reckon National's like, ah, what's the point? Should we just take a two-year holiday and come back next election? Well, yeah, there's a bit of talk about whether Judith Collins will carry on

as a leader of the National Party. And Simon Bridges is one of the options. And another guy, Christopher Luxon, seem to be the two frontrunners that could take over from Judith Collins if it happens. Yeah now he was the former boss of Air New Zealand wasn't he Christopher Luxon? Yeah and they did last night on. He looks like a healthier version of me. Well last night on News Hub they went around I think they were in Wellington and with a picture of Christopher Luxon just to see if people knew who in fact he was.

Oh, this never ends well. Do you know who this is? I don't, sorry mate. No, I don't. No, I don't, sorry. No, no, I don't. Is it a giant thumb? Is it a giant thumb?

He actually kind of does. And then they went, which I thought was quite good, they went and asked Christopher Luxon to his face if he knew. If he was a giant thumb. No, they didn't ask him that. That would have been quite good. But they asked him if he knew who this picture was,

which, of course, was him. And here's what he had to say. Who is Christopher Luxon? Who is Christopher Luxon? Give it a second. He's a good looking bald man I'll tell you what he is. Good comeback. There you go.

He's a giant thumb. So somewhere between a good looking bald man and a giant thumb. Well that's who you want running the party. And that is Jono and Ben's politics corner. Yeah it's good, it's always insightful Ben Bush. New Zealand's breakfast. This is Jono and Ben on the hits.

Just got 7 o'clock on you Wednesday morning. Good morning. Jono and Ben hanging out with you. Now, tomorrow is 100 days since our short and sharp lockdown started. And we thought, I guess, to mark this milestone, we wanted something that everyone could basically get something out of. Yeah, 100 days. God, time flies when you're in a government-enforced lockdown, doesn't it?

It really does go. And this means 100 days of our families being locked in the same facility as us being, boys. Yeah, I know. There's a lot of things to spare a thought for, but tomorrow we are celebrating in style. Well done, Aotearoa. Well done on navigating a short, sharp lockdown. We want to be short and sharp. Well done on navigating a short, sharp lockdown. We want to be short and sharp.

Well done on picnicking without peeing. Make provision for it, Barry. Well done on the spreading not of the virus, but other things. People to get outside and to spread their legs. Well done, Tova and Jessica. Tova. Jessica. Tova.

Jessica and Tova. Well done, Scott Morrison, for being the only world leader to reference cartoons. It's like that movie in The Croods. We can't stay in the cave. Well done, Barry. Barry, I'm going to ask for a little decorum. Have some decorum, Barry. New Zealand, it's time to raise a glass and raise an eyebrow.

Not you, Brian Tumachie. Yours are raised enough. To 100 days of lockdown and 100 days of trying to keep our faceholes apart. Throwing out those articles from your old facehole there. To celebrate the 100 days and alert level, this sucks. Jono and Ben are giving away $100 to every caller. And don't worry, South Island, unlike the government, we won't forget about you. You can win too.

A Hyundai for a Hyundai. Tomorrow on the hits. So that's happening. Yeah, every caller wins $100 tomorrow, so that's something at least to look forward to. Yeah, although when you get the money, you do have to get vaccinated. That's a government-sponsored initiative. No, it's a government sponsorship. We'll give you a double shot.

You have to show us your Vax passports, and that's the only way you can get the cash. $100 tomorrow Welcome to two half-assed dads To a half-assed job Official title, Tuno and Ben New Zealand's breakfast It's 100 days of the short sharp lockdown Tomorrow to mark this milestone

Every caller that gets on the show tomorrow Gets $100 It's going to be fun. Now, Ben Boyce, you've reached the century of lockdown. Well done on knocking a ton there, my friend. That's what you say, eh? That's the coolest thing I think I've ever said.

I've been with the good crowd there. And you probably, because you have been with your family for 100 days, you feel like every conversation that you've ever going to have has been hat. You're going to live the rest of your years out with your family for 100 days, you feel like every conversation that you're ever going to have has been had. You're going to live the rest of your years out with your family in mute. You're like, we've done all our talking for an entire lifetime.

Come back to me when I'm dead. Made this quite interesting because a friend of my wife, Amanda, so her friend on Facebook put something out there. They were also in lockdown. And they also said to their kids the other night, they were like, just as a conversation, they were like, all right, hypothetically speaking, if you could replace us, your parents, no hard feelings, but if you could replace us with anyone famous.

Jeez, it's going to be hard feelings, but anyway, yeah, keep going. No hard feelings, this is the game, this is the game. Anyone famous, who would you replace us with? It was quite interesting. Now, my wife's friends they came back with uh a wonderful couple uh who maybe they'd seen a lot on tv uh bradley walsh and hillary barry they would be great parents bradley walsh and i realize they're not together or anything like that but this is in this hypothetical world that's what one of the kids came back with

they make a wonderful couple too wouldn't't they? Bradley Willis. Smart. I know Mr. Barry's a thing, and he's a wonderful gentleman. But you know, he's no Bradley Walsh. Oh, jeez. Am I pimping Hillary out to Bradley Willis? But they would be good parents, wouldn't they? It's a good choice. And the kids chose them.

Yeah, that's what the kids are. How old are these kids? 68. I was like, Bradley Willis. I feel like that's who my dad would choose. Yeah. And he's probably older than both of them, but yeah. I fear my kids, they would be, Oscar would be like Stephen Adams, and Poppy would be like Charlie D'Amelio, or LeBron James and Charlie D'Amelio, which is, you know, in any instance, an odd pairing, isn't it?

And Charlie D'Amelio is just barely older than you. She can't mother you. Yeah, but that's the thing. So I thought I'd ask my kids last night to get the ball rolling. I went to Indy, who's nine years old, and here's what she had to say. I think I'd go Marge Simpson and Homer Simpson. Oh, Marge and Homer Simpson. Okay.

Yeah, a couple of TV parents. Any reason why? It would be nice to have, like, someone on a good TV show, okay. Yeah, a couple of TV parents. Any reason why? It would be nice to have someone on a good TV show, really. Yeah. That would be cool. Oh, is that... Are you mocking me? Are you mocking... Because we're on not good TV shows.

Was that it? Definitely not. Was it Indy? It was Indy, yeah. That's out of character for Indy. I love the fact that every time I get out the phone to record, they're like, oh, radio, here we go. We can mock dad. And then it carried on. It's showtime, kids.

I said, all right, choose anyone famous. If you want to replace your parents, who would you like as your new parent? This is what she said. Okay, well, I'm thinking maybe Dwayne The Rock Johnson. Stop it. Because I know that's what you'll pick. And then I'll just be walking around and I'll be like

Haha, you over the moon Okay, this game sucks I thought you said no hard feelings Didn't he start this by saying no hard feelings? Now he's got hard feelings Almost despite me, he should have Dwayne The Rock Johnson walking around as well And where do you live in this situation when Dwayne The Rock Johnson moves in? I don't know

Does he move in with Amanda? Because they didn't have a replacement mother there. Yeah, I guess it's all hypothetically speaking. I'm not sure how this works. But I thought, why don't we, while we play this next song, why don't you, if you've got your kids around, why don't you ask one of your kids if they could replace, you know, no hard feelings, no hard feelings,

replace you with a famous person. Who would it be? Or a famous couple or anyone at all. Who would you get replaced with? Okay, I'm going to pick Jacinda Ardern. She's doing a wonderful job of mothering us already. And I think she'd be a safe pair of hands looking after me. Can I put a vote in for her?

Yeah, you're not really in the kid category, but sure. And it's weird she's younger than me. You know, there's some stuff to work out. The timeline doesn't add up. It's almost like you're at the Ryman and she comes in. How old is she? Is she? Yeah.

She's 81. Yeah, same age. It's weird. Yeah. All right. So under the hits, 4, 4, 8, 7. Go ask your kids while the song's playing who they would replace you with. Anyone famous at all will find out the answers very shortly on the hits.

Jono and Ben, the hits. because we have reached that stage of lockdown we're chucking out anything for conversation and we did it last night now so we're doing it on the radio too yeah uh so basically uh long story short if you ask your kids if they could replace you uh with anyone in the world uh famous uh who would who would they like as their parent or Or parents, it doesn't matter what. Oh, well, listen, now we've also factoring in, too, for the children before they make these rash decisions that, you know, these people are going to have to do the school drop-off and pick-up,

take them to parties, tell them when to go to bed, relentlessly ask them to brush their teeth in the morning. But it's a lot cooler if Adele's doing that rather than... I know, but eventually Adele's just going to be the pain in the ass wanting you to brush your teeth, you know? The novelty will wear off.

Bear that in mind, children, before you start ragging on us. Yeah, okay. I said no hard feelings. It feels like you're getting hard feelings. Yeah, I've got hard feelings. Someone texted in 4487, my son just said he would have Iron Man and the Hulk. Oh, yeah.

I mean, financially stable with Iron Man, Tony Stark has got a bit of wealth. Yes, he does. You know, you'll be set for life. Hulk, though, yeah. I mean, financially stable with Iron Man, Tony Stark has got a bit of wealth. Yes, he does. You know, you'll be set for life. Hulk, though, very volatile in a

relationship situation, wouldn't he be? Yeah. And just like constant insurance jobs with the house, you'd just be, yeah. And he wears, like he

tries to wear clothes, but you know they're not going to last long. Yeah, they all burst, all his trousers burst, don't they? Yeah. Yeah, and the size

ratio's all off. The whole family. Well, yeah. He's going to have to have a special quarters, isn't he, the Hulk? And then the kids will have that form of the radiator. Yeah, anyway. But that's what kids do. Let's not overthink this.

We wanted to know. We've got some hell pizza up for grabs, too. I know, 100 hits. We're going to kick things off with, who do you want to kick things off with, Jude? We've got Rose in purple or Sarah in green. Let's go Sarah. Okay, Sarah, welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Morena.

Good morning. Okay, Clara's your six-year-old. What did she say? She said Ashley Bloomfield and Lady Gaga. Wonderful combo. What a couple. Very interesting. I feel like Ashley, I mean, we love him, but I feel like he'd be like,

I would stay home tonight and Lady Gaga might be wanting to go out more in Bloomfield. She'd be like, put your mask on before you go out, Lady Gaga. That's what happened. Is there Clara in the background? She sounds like she wants to chime in. What does she want to say? Yeah, hi, Clara.

There's a lot of conversation about a teddy bear going on. I don't want a teddy. We might leave you to it. No, no, let's follow the saga. We'll find out who gets the teddy. Okay, we'll be back with her after 8 o'clock. Rolling coverage of who

ends up with the teddy. We'll give some hell pizza as well. I love it. All right, thank you for playing. Even with a busy household in the morning, eh? Yeah. So is Lady Gaga going to sort out that? Oh, yeah, that's right. Is Bloomfield going to decide who gets the teddy?

Yeah. Sue, you're on. Welcome from Morrinsville. How are you? Good, thank you. Thank you. Great to have you on. Now, we've got Sue and your daughter, Hayley.

Yep. Who wants to replace you on Now we've got Your Sue And your daughter Hayley Yep Who wants to Replace you with who? Michelle Obama Michelle Obama Oh yeah She'd be my pick too Yeah

Michelle Obama Would be a great She seems like She'd be a great mum Just Michelle and Barack Together Like winning combination Yeah

No offence to my mum Who may be listening right now Yeah Jenny sorry You're not a Patch on Michelle Obama She seems like she'd be a great mum. Just Michelle and Barack together, like winning combination. Yeah. No offence to my mum, who may be listening right now. Yeah, Jenny, sorry. You're not a patch on Michelle Obama. No one is a patch on Michelle Obama. That's a great one. Hayley, why would you choose Michelle Obama? No follow-up questions. Michelle Obama would always take me somewhere.

She would always take you somewhere. That's good. You know, you'd get out of Mor That's good. Yeah, you know. You'd get out of Morrinsville. Hey, hey. He doesn't remember Morrinsville. I didn't say there was. I just said technically if she was going somewhere,

she'd be getting out of Morrinsville. Just like you said it. All right, we're going to give you guys some hell pizza. Thanks so much for taking part of that. Well, it wasn't that bad, but yeah. Yeah, no, but you would be leaving, Morrie. That was what I was insinuating. Ben's trying to think I was having a year.

Love your work, Sue. Have a great day, Hayley. All right? You. That was what I was insinuating. Ben's trying to think I was chabbing it. Yeah, love your work, Sue. Have a great day, Hayley, all right? You too. You too, Joe. Thank you, guys. Jeez, there was a lot of conversation with multiple people there. Yeah, there was a lot going on. Yeah, it was like a conference call.

Both of them. I loved it. We got $5,000 up for grabs in about 20 minutes' time. And who's going to end up with that teddy bear? That's the hits. You got Jono and Ben. Jono and Ben. Or as they're known in the office,

those two. Jono and Ben. New Zealand's breakfast on the hits. Oh jeez, I'm lacking skills. You know there are things that I'm quite good at in life, like when I'm driving down the motorway I can change lanes without my wheels hitting the bumpy bits. Oh yeah. you also struggle

to say motorway though so that's your downside when you tell anyone about it it's my Achilles heel I can't get my my lips around the word well you've got to say wheels I see what tripped you up

with motorway and wheels and it all got really hard ah words words are tough they are you know we don't acknowledge that enough in radio you know

it's a bit worse saying words at 7.30 in the morning. A lot of people are just sitting in silence having a cup of coffee right now. Wouldn't that be nice? Not us. I'm trying to say mow away. Anyway, that's one of my skills. One thing that I don't possess any skills in is the art of massaging. Now, when you enter a relationship,

you know, this is not discussed before you engage. Right. But you're required to massage. I can't imagine you being much of a massager. No, there's nothing more that works. Even the thought of someone massaging my shoulders Even like a professional in a relaxed environment? Oh, no.

Man and my wife, everyone would go, let's go get a massage. You know, I did once in the mall and I didn't realize how red my, I had a big circle of red mark on my face as well. Oh, but you put it my wife, we would go, let's go get a massage. You know, I did once in the mall and I didn't realize how red my, I had a big circle red mark on my face as well. Oh, but you put it in the hole of the table. Yeah, because my skin gets very blotchy. You're talking to people in the mall afterwards, you're like,

oh my goodness, look at me. He's like one of those permanent sunlights that you use for social media on his face. On his face. But yeah, just going to a massage. I don't, no, I don't enjoy it. Don't find them relaxing. Don't find it all opposite for me.

What about giving them out? Do you massage? No, it's not there. Mandan will go to the mall one day and again when it's open, but no,

no. Yeah. No, we've got a relationship where it's like no physical touching. We're not in the massage. It's like it's professional.

I artificially disseminated. It was a deal. And there was no massaging. It was a formal handshake after. Oh, I'm so embarrassed. Anyway, so Jen, my wife, she has back issues. So she goes to the chiropractor a lot and just given recent times, unprecedented, can't go to the chiropractor, obviously.

So it's been on me to do some massaging. I'm no good at it. I am no good and I'll admit I can't even last 60 seconds you know. My thumbs start getting sore. Have you done that? Shout out to all the professionals. Yeah I can imagine by the end of the day between

having client after client after client. Your arms and hands just must be. The masseuse would need a massage themselves at the end of the day. Who's massaging the masseuse? Well, don't ask Ben for it. Not me. Someone else might. John, I might be.

I don't measure your patience level, too. Yeah, I do check out. My mind starts to wander. You're like, done, done, all right, we're off. Let's do something else. Yeah, no, that's a huge part of the problem. I even went to the point, and actually producer Humphrey reminded me, he's like, do you still use that massage gun you bought?

I went to the point of buying a gun. Yeah, well, then you've got the gun you could be using. The friendliest of all the guns, the massage gun. Yeah. But, yeah, no, I don't even use that. You're so proud of that. You brought that into work. I did bring it into work, yeah.

You're like, here I am, I'm using this thing. Yeah. I don't even think I've used it once i think really yeah but you could use that as your massage yeah to help but i the thing is the massage gun it's like it's like a concrete hammer if you turn it up too much it gives you heart palpitations oh yeah i haven't taken it over 50 yet because you can get turned up. I think you get warped into another time zone. You're like, Jesus, am I going to have a stroke for a heart attack?

It's like doing 12 rounds with the Joseph Parker or something. It is on fast forward. It's just ah, ah, ah. It's like punching your back that's exactly it so yeah we've opted for this I'm no good at it so I don't actually know

what the point of all this was I couldn't say motorway can't massage wasted money on a gun that I don't use we got $5,000 though

we have got that it is that's very short it is the hits you got Jono and Ben 5 words for 5 It is the hits you got, Jono and Ben. You should know how this works. It's our game of word association. We tell you five words. You tell us the first things that pop into your head and if your five words match with

ours, you win $5,000. This is the moment we were both born for, Ben boys, to win the finalist to the hitsits $5,000. This is why our parents tangled body parts back in the day, my friend. For this right now. This is our meaning in life, our purpose. And Michelle, you're

in Wellington. Morena. Morena. Great to have you on. Michelle, tell us. You've been doing a lot lately. Yes. Yes, I have. I had a very busy weekend. What happened? I got married, yes, I have. I had a very busy weekend. What happened? I got married. Yeah, you did.

Wow, congratulations. Thank you. And next week, you're what? Starting a new job. So this is her last day of work. Wow, you must get a lot of life changes all at once. It's awesome. Very exciting.

Yeah, it is. New husband, new job, new phone. Who dis? Well, I tell you what, Michelle, we're going to try and win you $5,000. Who do you want to send into the soundproof booth? I'd like to send Benny in, please. All right.

Benny boy's going in. You could really make this probably one of those moments in Michelle's life that she looks back on going, wow, I won five grand, the job, the husband. Sorry, am I going in the booth? Yeah, go in the booth. Sorry, he's all goodly trying to... He's still talking to me, but I'm like, I'm going in the booth. You know that.

He's trying to get in the booth. Then he hasn't fully shut the door, but now he has, Michelle. So it's just you and me. Let's win you $5,000. You've heard the game before? I have. It's just the first word that comes into your head. First cab off the rank is clap.

Clap. Hands? Hands. Thank you very much. Mullet. Mullet. Hair or haircut? Hair. I'm two from two with you, Michelle. How about you, June? Yeah, me too. Yeah, June's giving me a knowing nod. The third word this morning for you, Michelle and Wellington, with a new husband, new job, is beans. Beans? B-E-A-N-S.

Baked? You are on fire. Yeah, this is good. Your phone's even telling you you're on fire. Beans? Baked or fart? No, we'll go baked. Did you say fart?

He's not. I'll tell you one thing I know about Bimbo. Yeah, this is true. For some reason, he holds himself in higher regard than, you know, fart-based comedy. He's classier than I am. He is. He's classier than me as well. But another area of his life he's not.

Wharf is the fourth word. Wharf. Is that W-H-A-R-F? That's the fourth word wharf is that uh w-h-a-r-f that's the one wharf yep oh ocean or or sea oh um ocean oh what do you think sorry my husband's's making faces at me. Is that what you guys would have gone with? Or fishing? Fishing. That's a tough one.

Fishing wharf? Yeah. Is that what the new hubby thinks? Oh, hang on. No, he wants to go boat. I'm going to go with him. He's going to lock in boat. All right.

This could be your first marital disagreement. It wouldn't be the first. You always win, though, don't you, Michelle? Yeah. Smoothie's the fifth word this morning for you, mate. Smooth? Smoothie, sorry. S-M-O-O-T-H-I-E.

Smoothie. Oh, I just go drink? Drink, yeah. Um, or, hang yeah. Oh, hang on. Oh, banana. Oh, yeah. Hard one. I'm just going to go general and go drink. Going to go drink.

All right. You've done well. The husband-wife couple. What is your husband's name, Michelle? His name's David. David. David and Michelle, they've done well uh they came in as a tag team effort okay and uh you could come in between their marriage oh geez it's all on you

okay all right here we go if this marriage lasts it's on these next five words ben boys here we go first word clap First word, clap. Clap your... Sorry, I'm struggling a little bit because I know I'm thinking it's hand. Clap your hands. It was hands. Why would you say hands? Don't clap one hand. Clap hands. You's what I said. Why would you say hands? Clip hands. Don't clap one hand. Clip hands.

You can't keep saying clap. Oh. Yeah. Michelle. I wasn't, yeah. One letter. Yeah, true. It is clap hands.

I'm so sorry. I just had it, yeah. That's right. These things happen. Clap hands. Yeah, yeah. He clapped his hands the second time though, didn't he? Yeah, I did.

The second time. Should we see how we would have gone? Yeah, Julie, it's like moving hands. He clapped his hands the second time though, didn't he? Yeah, I did. The second time. Should we see how we would have gone? Yeah, Julie is like, move it along. I'll play the other music now. All right, words. Number two, mullet. Here. Well done.

Beans. Baked. Wharf. W-H-A-R-F. Wharf. Shetty. And the fifth one was smoothie. Oh, jeez, there's so many options.

Banana. We'll see. We started with clap hand for some reason. It got slightly better, then it fell away again. I'm sorry. Well, listen, we'll clap our hand to you, Michelle. Congratulations on the special time in your life, and thanks for being part of the show.

Awesome. Thank you both. See you, Dave. Bye. your life and thanks for being part of the show. Awesome, thank you both. See you Dave! Bye! Spy, the WhatsApp spy.co.nz And boys, slap me on the bottom and I'll lodge a complaint with HR because it's time for another episode of Spy with Juliet.

So the Grammy nominations have just been announced within the last hour but before we get to that I want to mention a really, really interesting story from jennifer lawrence so she's done an interview um recently and revealed that she was involved in a near fatal uh plane crash oh dear god so this is but this is really interesting so she was flying in a private plane in 2017 and once they were up in the air there was quite like a scary loud noise

that happened um the other passenger on the plane was called to the cockpit and returned basically looking like a ghost because they had been told that one of the engines had failed. And then shortly after, the second engine on the private plane had failed. Both engines failed? Both engines failed. Oh my goodness. She said that when she found that out,

all that was left in her seat was her skeleton. Like she was just thinking the absolute worst. She started leaving little mental voicemails for her family in her head, started feeling really guilty about things.

She also had a little dog sitting on her lap. She's like, my dog has not asked for any of this. She didn't ask to be part of my life. Good thing is the dog

doesn't know what's happening. Yeah, I know. You know, that situation. Oh my goodness. That's why it's great to be a dog. Yeah, you're kind of just You don't know if your plane's going down. Yeah, I'm still hanging out with my own. That's great. That's why it's great to be a dog. Yeah, you're kind of just... You don't know if your plane's going down.

Yeah, I'm still hanging out with my owner. That's great. That's so true. That is very true. But then she looked out of the window and saw a runway below with ambulance and fire trucks waiting. And so that's when she sort of realized, oh my God, maybe I will survive this. I might be a burn victim.

It'll be painful, but we might live through this. And during this whole experience, she was praying to God, and one of the things she prayed to God was, Jonathan, this is aimed at you, please, Lord Jesus, let me keep my hair if I survive. Please do not let me go bald. Now, why was it aimed at me? Because I'm a Catholic?

Or the bald bit? Which one? Maybe you figure that one out. Yeah, okay. But that was her one wish. She didn't want to go bald if she survived this plane crash, and she did. Everyone came out unscathed. They managed to land the plane safely.

Including her hair. Including her hair. Well, listen, I can vouch, Jennifer, if you're listening, that no matter how many times you pray to God, he doesn't help you out with that. Your hair still disappears. That's true. But that is terrifying. How did it land?

Was it just coasting, I guess? Yeah, so they must have, she didn't give a lot of details, but I imagine what I've gathered is they had just left, and so they were near the runway that they had taken off from, so they must have turned around, the plane sort of landed. Glided. And then kind of jumped up in the air and then landed again. Quite a bumpy sort of landing.

Oh, man. But, I mean, the pilots would be so trained in what to do in those attractions. That's the thing, they don't feel like they stress about anything pilots Do they? I'd be a shocking pilot What's that noise? Oh god Oh there's a bump

I'd be a jumpy pilot too I'd be releasing the oxygen mask From the ceiling every 10 minutes Put them on yourself first Poor children masks from the ceiling every 10 minutes. Count again. Can we do it? Panic stations. Put them on yourself first before children. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah,

thank goodness she survived that and I don't think that was actually public knowledge until she sort of said that. So, now to the Grammy nominations. They've been announced and they're going to be

taking place on the 31st of January next year. A lot of, there's sort of a lot of crossover with, you know, Record of the Year, Song of the Year, Album of the Year

Record of the Year ABBA features, randomly Justin Bieber features for Peaches I get confused by the Record of the Year and the Song of the Year Because it's not actually, this category doesn't honour an entire album No, because they all say Ab Album of the Year, right? So what's the difference between Record of the Year and Song of the Year? So Record of the Year is awarded for a single, or I had to Google this, because they all say it's the album of the year, right? Yes, they all say it's the album. So what's the difference between record of the year and song of the year? So record of the year is awarded for a single,

or I had to Google this before because I didn't know either. It's awarded for a single or for one track of an album for the actual song. And song of the year is awarded for a single or individual track,

but the recipient of this award is the songwriter, not necessarily the artist who sings it. But if the artist who sings it also wrote it they take that away yeah so i imagine a lot of the same songs are also in record of the year also up for song of the year yes exactly um two different people could potentially win it if

they're one's a writer and one's also a performer yeah and so you've got olivia rodrigo is in um for driver's licenses in record and song of the year. Newcomer as well, she's up for that, I saw. Yes, new. Also you've got Billie Eilish is in pretty much everything for Happier Than Ever. And then we've got a little bit of a rivalry again between Taylor Swift and Kanye West for Album of the Year. So Taylor is up for Evermore and Kanye is up for Donda.

Who's up for the Best Engineered Classical Album? I did not research that far I told you I wanted a full in-depth coverage of the Grammy nomination I was looking at the one who's won the most Grammys There's some conductor Really? Sir George Salty's 31 Grammy Awards, Sir George Wow

Beyonce's number 2 with 28 Yes Then Jay-Z's number 6, he's had 23 over the years Springsteen's had 20. Wow. And one of the articles I did see was Adele hasn't been nominated for any. And the reason for this is because for all songs and albums, they have to have come out before the 30th of September.

So she missed the cutoff. So she'll be next. She'll be in the next ones. Lorde? Nothing from Lorde? I don't think so, actually. Yeah, because she would have released Solar Power, which was't think so, actually. She would have released Solar Power, which

was pretty big throughout. I think she was nominated for her last album, wasn't she, 2018? Producer of

the Year, Jack Antoff, on behalf of Lord, and that seems to be the only one that she's sort of part of.

There we go. 2014, she won a whole swag of them, didn't she? Yeah, that was awesome. Very good.

There you go, the Grammy nominations. And that is five for this hour, before we can head to the she won a whole swag of them, didn't she? Yeah, I know. Very good. There you go, the Grammy nominations. And that is five for this hour. Before we can head to the hits.co.nz. It's just gone. Eight o'clock on your Wednesday morning. Good morning to you.

I've played this already once this morning, but it's our favourite bit of audio. This is the UK Prime Minister. This is the Prime Minister, Boris Johnson. He leads a big country. He's running the world, this guy. And he was giving a speech to business leaders in the UK, wasn't he? And it felt like, I don't know, I'm not in his team,

but it felt like he was reading the speech for the first time on stage in front of these people. Because he got into a Peppa Pig hole. Have a listen. Tony, yesterday I went, as we all must, to Peppa Pig World. I don't know if you've been to Peppa Pig World. Who's been to... Hands up if you've been to Peppa Pig World. Not enough.

I was a bit hazy what I would find at Peppa Pig World, but I loved it. Peppa Pig World is very much my kind of place. Did he really go to Peppa Pig World? But he kept going. It went on for like five or ten minutes. And eventually he had a point. That Peppa Pig was a creative in the UK and has earned billions of dollars overseas.

Yeah, that was the point. It's like you can jump to that. You're talking to business leaders, not four-year-old children in a daycare. I was talking to Peppa Pig World. They were like, well, this is theirs. He was like, I went yesterday. You're like, shouldn't you be running the country? There's a pandemic going on.

Who's your favorite out of Peppa Pig? The Dan or Peppa? Yeah. Oh, there we go. So good. Hey, next on the show, Wow Wednesday. We do this from time to time on a Wednesday. If you've got a call that could wow us, that we'll basically have our jaws dropped to the

floor. Yeah, we've had a couple of rippers in the past over the last month or two. We spoke to Emma, who saved basically an entire family from a burning house, including a six-year-old girl, went into the burning house. It was crawling on her stomach. It was crazy.

And Nelson and also Katrina, who married her gay best friend, who was a guy in the UK, to have residency over there. But then they somehow took some things that they maybe shouldn't have taken before going to the registry office and then somehow bribed the registry worker because their friend knew

the registry worker was having an affair. I know. It was a wild story. What wild story will we get next on a Wow Wednesday? We'll find out in just a few moments. It is that. Jono and Ben, just like family. The family members you're ashamed of.

Hopefully we're going to get wowed with a call on Wow Wednesday. Wow, oh, wow. Can you make Jono and Ben go wow? Wow. It's Oh Wow Wednesday. Kathy, welcome to Wow Wednesday. Thank you. Lovely to have you on.

Ben, notice you didn't join in there with the old synchronized. That's fine. That's fine. That's right. I hear that Cathy and Nelson's got a story that's going to WOW us, though. Sorry I didn't join in on the WOW. It's not for everyone. It's not for you.

Cathy, did you want to join in on the WOW? WOW. WOW. Okay, we'll try and all do it. We'll try and all do it. Guys, guys, guys. Can I just team talk here? Cathy, Ben.

Let's sync up, okay? Okay. Guys, guys, guys. Can I just team talk here? Cathy, Ben, let's sync up, okay? Okay, one, two, three. Wow. Wednesday, that's it. Now we've hit the strides. Cathy, wow us. Wow you? Okay.

A few years ago now, my marriage was going through a particularly tough time. Do you know what you can do? Well, you know what you can do if your marriage is going through a particularly tough time. Do you know what you can do? Well, you know what you can do if your marriage is going through a tough time? What's that? Record a number one smash hit album. Like Adele. Yeah, like Adele. Did you do that, Cathy?

Is that going to wow us? Not with my singing, no. Sorry to hear that was going through a rough time. That's not good. That's okay. Life happens. Yeah. So I was working at the time and I thought my boss was a particularly good friend. So I was having coffees and confiding and, you know, doing normal girlfriend stuff.

And a few months later, I find out that she's having an affair and they are now married. She was having an affair with your husband? Yes. The lady you were confiding in? Oh my goodness. Yes. Wow. Is that big enough wow for you?

That's a wow Wednesday. Yeah, jeez. I'm not even going to worry that we didn't sync up on that one. Kathy, how did you find out? It took me a little while. It was one of those gut feelings snooping through the phone records. Did you work it out? Yeah.

Oh, right. And it still took them several months to admit it. So you did hit them up when you thought you had some evidence and it was denied? Yep. And then in the end did they come clean? Yes, about three or four months later and it was possibly only

because he sent a text message to the wrong person and I got it instead. Oh my goodness. Oh, sorry about that. That's okay. Have you moved on with someone else now, Cathy? No, I tried, but to be honest, I'm not a very trusting person anymore.

Listen, yeah, that would have a huge effect on who you do trust in the future, I imagine. Yeah. I just trust my favourite radio guys, and that's about it now gary and lana on more yeah just come to the untrustworthy too uh kathy uh thank you very much for sharing that story with us uh even though i mentioned going through it must have been just uh did you have to continue working with this lady yes i did for a for a little bit, but then I felt it got too much. So I did go to hire bosses and ask for a new position,

but got told one wasn't available, so they basically paid me to go away and keep quiet. So you left, and then you had to leave your job. I left, yeah, that was a rough few months. Yeah, Kathy. Home, rough few months. Yeah. Home, my job, my life. Jeez, you've been put through the ringer. Yeah. You poor thing. I might have been, but I've come out the other

side smiling. That's all that counts. What's the advice you would give to someone who would be going through, not necessarily the exact same situation, but a similar one? That shit can only get better. Shit can only get better. That's a good way to put it.

Are you happy now, Cathy? Yes. Oh, good. Yeah. I'm pleased to hear that, and thank you for sharing that with us. That was a wow Wednesday call. It was. It wowed us.

It wowed us. That was the stuff movies are made of. Oh, wow. Have I got a deal for you. All right, Cathy. Take care of yourself. Thank you so much for listening to the show. We appreciate it. Thanks, well, have I got a deal for you. All right, Cathy, take care of yourself. Thank you so much for listening to the show. We appreciate it.

Thanks, Cathy. You keep safe. Gee whiz. Oh, yeah. She sounds so lovely, Cathy. Oh, Cathy, yeah. We should do a competition. Win Cathy someone.

Is that weird? Yeah, that's a bit weird. You made it weird Wednesday. It was well Wednesday. Now you made it weird. Hey, and next, $100, you could win it. Basically, you've already done it. You've done enough to win it.

We'll tell you how in just a few moments after Duralipa. Tested safe for listening from home. Keep safe. And that's all I have to say. Thanks, Dr. Ashley Ashley Jono and Ben New Zealand's breakfast Now tomorrow is 100 days since the We went hard and early as the country right

Into lockdown That's right Geez if I'd known it was going to be 100 days I would have done 100 days of dieting And not putting chips in my mouth For 100 days straight Yeah Gee whiz There's no reason to check out of life And let yourself go is there dieting and not putting chips in my mouth for a hundred days straight.

There's no reason to check out of life and let yourself go, is there? Just because you can't leave your house? But I do. You're coming into work each day. You are. I'm leading a pretty normal life. Yeah, you're right. But we are going to celebrate tomorrow and I think this is quite fitting, isn't it? So every caller who gets through

on air tomorrow is going to win something in celebration of this magnificent milestone. You have a listen. Well done, Aotearoa. Well done on navigating a short, sharp lockdown. We want to be short and sharp. Well done on picnicking without peeing. Make provision for it, Barry.

Well done on the spreading not of the virus, but other things. People to get outside and to spread their legs. Well done, Tova, then Jessica. Tova. Jessica. Tova. Jessica and Tova. Well done, Scott Morrison, for being the only world leader to reference cartoons. It's like that movie in The Croods. We can't stay in the cave. Well done, Barry. Barry, I'm going to ask for a little decorum.

Have some decorum, Barry. New Zealand, it's time to ask for a little decorum. Have some decorum, Barry. New Zealand, it's time to raise a glass and raise an eyebrow. Not you, Brian Tumachie. Yours are raised enough to 100 days of lockdown and 100 days of trying to keep our faceholes apart. Throwing out those articles from your old facehole. To celebrate the 100 days in alert level This sucks Jono and Ben are giving away $100 to every caller And don't worry South Island Unlike the government we won't forget about you You can win too A hundy for a hundy

Tomorrow on the hits That's right it's happening This is the brainchild of you Ben You sent an email on the weekend 100 days this week. We need to celebrate. The whole country needs to celebrate. Well, you need to feel like something at the end of it,

because it's been, you know, like not just 100 days for people in Auckland, you know, and a lot of the Waikato as well, and everyone else has had to listen to Auckland and the Waikato banging on about it for 100 days. But also being locked in level two as well. Yeah. And going, why?

Yeah, totally. Why are we here? Yeah. Why are we part of this whole thing? See you tomorrow. We're going to make an apology. Is it a government-funded apology? Yeah, totally. Why are we here? Yeah. Why are we part of this whole thing? See you tomorrow. We're going to make an apology. Is it a government-funded apology? No, it's not.

No, don't tarnish this with, you know. With government propaganda. Yeah, because it's not. It's not. It's come from the hits. Although you will have to give us proof of vaccination. No, you don't. You don't.

You have to not that I'm not. No, no. It's myvaccine.co.nz. Why are you doing this? Why are you taking something that's not to do with the government? Not to do with, no, not government, not government funded. Two shots for Summerfam. No.

I mean, it's not to say you don't get the vote. Two shots to hang in the park in the hoop. Two shots to lap the main or whatever. Can I turn your microphone off? You can, you can, you're great. No, this is all purely hits funded, isn't it? Yeah, it is purely, we didn't think we'd get this across the line. I don't know why we're having to explain this.

Because you, now you're going, it's government funded, is it? And it's like, no, it's not. It's got nothing to do with the government. Nothing to do with the government. No. No way. So why would they want to be? The only thing that's got to do with the government is the fact that we were in 100 days of lockdown.

Lockdown, yeah. That's to do with the government. If anything, the government should be paying us. Yeah. It's an apology. Yeah. So the $100, whatever your situation, it doesn't matter if you've been in lockdown or if you've just been ignored in the press conferences like the South situation, it doesn't matter if you've been in lockdown or if you've just been ignored in the press conferences

like the South Island, it doesn't matter. $100 for every caller tomorrow on the show. So make sure 100 of the hits is saved into your phone and you can dial it tomorrow and get on the air. Two dads just trying to fill some airtime. Some might say it's pointless, but the main thing is it fills in some airtime for us. That is the main thing.

John and Ben, breakfast on the hits. No, having kids, it is awesome. And it's a really fulfilling That is the main thing. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. Now having kids, it is awesome and it's a really, you know, fulfilling, wonderful, wonderful thing.

This sounds like he's doing a disclaimer before he roasts his children. It's filling, oh it's just great. It does, it's awesome having kids.

It just fills my heart with joy. And now, okay, get on to the roasting, mate, alright, get out of the way.

One thing I've really gone on to now that the kids are getting a little bit older, you know, is the fact that they can help out a lot more. And you're like, oh, this is great. This is a really great thing.

Slowly you transition them and training them into doing things you can't be arsed to. Yeah. That's the joy of it. And they're giving, you know, jobs to help out around the place, you know, sometimes for pocket money, other times just to be part of the household is what I like to say. Just because, you know, what do you mean, oh. No just this is reminding me of my own dad he'd be like do the dishes i'm like no and he's like i can't be bothered you need to do them and it's good for you to learn i'm like oh yeah part of the household but that'll be a that'll be a statement or a phrase

that haunts them until yeah oh my goodness you know for a while i think i was telling you guys for a while uh it was it was probably a week or two at one of her jobs that she'd help out with was picking up the dogs and doing poo patrol basically and I did enjoy it because she'd go around she'd make quite a performance walking around with a spade and just go and I enjoyed that for a week or two

and then I was like I feel bad I'll take this job back on. You're gagging for the household mate. Yeah, I'll take this job back on so You're gagging for the household, mate. Yeah. I'll take this job back on. So I've taken that one back on and we're looking for something else. Do you gag? No, I don't. No, sometimes it's not good, but I don't.

I would. I've got a very weak stomach. Yeah, you do. I'd be like, ugh, ugh. I'm not even part of your household. Why are you making me do this? You do. You do.

No, but it's not pleasant. I'll give her that. So I've taken that one back on. No, picking up extra momentum is not high on anyone's hobbies, is it? But now she's helping out with the washing, which is helping out washing and putting it in and doing it and hanging it up and stuff as well. So we're all helping out, but she's making an extra effort to help out with that.

And I was a week or two into it, and I was checking in, how's it going? She's going, not bad. She's come up with a really good way of making it easier. I'm like, what's that? You's going, not bad. She knows she's come up with a really good way of making it easier. Well, what's that? I don't want to hear that. She's like, I don't put nearly as much washing in now as I used to now that I'm doing it. You're like, oh, so she doesn't get her clothes washed as much because she knows that she's going to have to.

She'll wear clothes out for a month. I was like, why were you doing that? I've worn underpants since January. Why wouldn't you do that when I was doing the washing 100%? Because often I feel like with the kids, you go, I'll clean up the bathroom or clean up something, and they'll just pick clothes up and just go, oh, they need washing. They all need washing.

And put it straight in the washing because it's easier. I know it's easier than folding it and putting it away. You've been having a sock there, a solo sock, that's just been going through the whole process for about five years now, haven't you? Just waiting for it to magically find its partner. That's the cleanest sock in New Zealand, that one. It just keeps coming through.

What's the quality of workmanship like? Actually, pretty good. Not bad. Yeah, that's the thing. I feel like the kids are already more improved than... Yeah, like... I had a business idea, which is, you know, it's like green acres where you can get them around to mow your lawns and do everything. They clean houses and everything, green acres.

Do a children's version, child labor, cheaper. Quality's not as good. But what you lack in quality, you save on price. Kids, green acres. Legally, I think you've got some issues there. Can you have a seven-year-old pushing a lawnmower around and a petrol line trimmer? I don't know, but it's cheaper. So what?

So, yeah, you're happy to roll it out with the legal problems? Yeah, well China's done it for years, mate. Oh my gosh. They've weathered the storm. All right, we're going to wrap you up.

Chino's child green acres starting next week. Stop them talking. That would be nice. Can we pay a kid to stop them talking? That'd be good. Kia ora.

I'm Rachel Jackson-Lees and this is The B**** News. Now we must bring the 8 o'clock audience up to date with this. This is a new type of show. This is a part of the show that's usually buried at 6, 10 a.m. in the morning. It's where we hide all of the embarrassing stuff from the show, like Ben's toy figurine collection, my kleptomania.

It's all in the 6 o'clock hour. But the bosses keep going, oh, you know, you've got to do it after 8. It's going so well. Now, it's the thing that Juliet does every morning. Yeah, it's probably why it's going well. Right, doesn't have these two idiots babbling away. So, Jew, how does this game work? So, I go through the internet and try to find some quirky or interesting or funny news stories

that I think you might enjoy. And I beep out a couple of words and you guys have to guess what the news story is. And then we reveal what it is. Yeah, it's the long way round. It's like saying to Google Maps, take the most inconvenient long long way to the location and we'll hit go on that yes all right well let's go for the first news story donald trump awarded honorary i say donald trump was ordered uh an honorary job as orange guy in the next new zealand election we need your orange guy he's the guy for it, right?

G'day, orange guy. Yeah, you know, you can do that. That'd be a wonderful orange guy. You save on animation costs, too. Yeah, he's already orange, you know. Save on morph suit costs. I'm going to say Donald Trump awarded honorary commemorative shade of fake tan, which is ten shades deeper

than your commercial-grade orange. Yeah, love it. The real answer... Donald Trump awarded honorary black belt in Taekwondo. What? I know, I know. Does he do Taekwondo? No, he doesn't.

He has never competed in the sport or never played the sport. I would like you to Google if you can, and if you're not driving, Google it later. Donald Trump Taekwondo, and everyone's mocking him online for the photo because he's in the full, I guess, sporting uniform for Taekwondo and everyone's mocking him online for the photo because he's in the full sort of I guess sporting uniform for Taekwondo with his black belt on and he posed for the photo with the South Korean president of Taekwondo

who awarded this to him but he's never played it he's never competed in it before yeah I don't think you have either because you played Taekwondo yeah I was trying to figure out what the correct way you would say that is competed in Taekwondo? Taken part in taekwondo. I played taekwondo. Yeah, I was trying to figure out what the correct way you would say that is. Competed in taekwondo?

Taken part in taekwondo. So this is the highest or the second highest rank in the sport. Yeah. You don't get any higher. Look at him there. He's so happy

in his bloody taekwondo outfit. I know. He's got his fists up in the air. He's like, oh, there we go. I didn't have to do any of the training

and now I've got this. He also said that he would wear the taekwondo suit in Congress if he ever made it back to White House. Imagine Donald Trump wearing that in Congress.

What a sight to see. I mean, he looks like a Taekwondo fighter who's, you know, his best years are behind him. Yeah, exactly. But a montage, a training montage later,

maybe he could reclaim that belt. At the beginning of the movie, though, he would be like, I'm retired. I'm never coming back to Taekwondo.

We need you. And he came back. All right, next news story. Christmas Mad Mother spends four weeks covering entire home in... All right, I'm going to say Christmas Mad Mother. Well, not only was this mummy kissing Santa Claus, she was doing all sorts of stuff around the entire home with Santa Claus. Covering it in smut.

Cover, there was a whole lot going on. I'm going to say Christmas Mad Mother spends four weeks covering entire home in Halloween decorations. She mixed up the celebrations. Christmas Mad Mother spends four weeks covering entire home in wrapping paper.

So she's covered every wall, door and cupboard. Sounds like a prank we're doing, John. I know, I thought that. And they start in the first week of November and they back in the day I know I thought that and they start in the first week of November and they finish in the first week

of December they've done it for a few years now uses 20 rolls of wrapping paper inside right because they say

outside wouldn't be good for conditions of wrapping paper can I just comment on behalf of the internet what a waste of wrapping paper give that wrapping paper

to Africa yeah there you go just sort of tick that box yeah right thank you and the final news story new dog toy could help lonely pooches Wrapping paper. Yeah. Give that wrapping paper to Africa. Yeah. There you go. Just sort of tick that box. Yeah, right. Thank you. And the final news story.

New dog toy could help lonely pooches. Well, I'm going to say it's a new dog toy called a cell bone. And the dog says. That is so good. It's basically a bone. That's the old dog and bone that they can call, literally call people. Call their owners when they're in need. I'm going to say a new dog toy could help lonely pooches question whether they're doing it wrong

and they should be frozen the whole time. New dog toy could help lonely pooches call their owners. Hey! I was pretty close, actually. Yes, you were. Is it a cell phone? No, it's just called the dog phone, but your idea is so much better. The dog and phone.

Yours is genius. Yeah, you should really speak to the creators of this. How do they dial, though? So basically, it's a ball, and if the dog shakes it, it calls the owner. It's got like a little screen on it, but they did a lot of testing, and like half of the It ended up being a giant pain in the ass? Yeah. Oh, so right now, my dog could call me at work if he shook the ball.

Yes. But initially, it might shake the ball and not even know that it calls the owner, but eventually, it'll click on and hear you on the other end of the phone, basically, and they've made it so that after the pandemic, when people go back to work, for dogs who might have separation anxiety, they can call their owner.

So cute. But what's the best result there? Hey, mate. G'day, mate. Sorry, can't help you now. I'm in a meeting. I'll see you when I get home, I guess. Yeah.

Yeah, what is the... I don't know. Just maybe for a little bit of comfort. Yeah, I guess so. Hearing the voice. And that is the news and beeps for you this morning. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from 6 on the hits.

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