Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: When You Tattoo Your Child's Birthday On You, But Get It Wrong

Episode Date: March 21, 2022

Awkies. We spoke about how Pete Davidson has 3 tattoos dedicated to Kim Kardashian and wanted to hear some of your tattoo stories. Did you go too early in getting a tattoo with your partner and then break up? Did your tattoo go badly? We heard some great stories! We also wrote up a parody song (classic) on the current cost-of-living crisis. We present to you a parody of Kesha & Walker Hayes' song "Fancy Like" AKA "Pricey Like"! Finally, Ben's daughter Sienna is becoming a champion at negotiation. What is she negotiating? DOG POO. Enjoy the show!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits with the Jono and Ben podcast. It's Friday the 18th of March. I'm waiting an apple. I like to catch Ben off guard, unawares. You're really taking me off guard. This is a podcast intro. Can I say that is the world's tiniest apple. It's really small actually.

He's almost just like pinching it with his forefinger and his thumb. It's a really small apple. It's lovely. We need to take a photo of that tiny apple. It's delicious. It's really good. It's a baby apple. May you not even let that apple go through puberty.

Is it a good apple? Sometimes tiny food is so much better than the big version. I think we're having this conversation. We're talking about bigger food. You're right. No, it's a lovely apple. I won't eat it now. I didn't realise it.

Keep eating it. Don't worry, mate. It's the podcast intro. These guys don't care. They're relaxed. It's the chill version of Ben. Hey! Take the button, undo the top button, loosen the tie.

That's the guy. Relaxed. They don't want showbiz, Ben. They want to know the real Ben Boyce. And the real Ben Boyce, he digests apples. Tiny apples, though. My tiny hands, they look normal size eating this apple. Now, did the apple just come singular like that?

Like you picked that apple out of the bin? No, I got some from the supermarket. They come in a bag like that. Because that feels like if I had 100 apples in front of me in a bin, and I kept packing safe, I'm not going for that. I'm going for size. Well, it's lovely. They're little tiny apples.

What's your favourite fruit? If you can lock in a fruit. I do like an apple. I don't mind an apple. It feels like you can have it on the go. Yeah. I don't, I adore pineapple. But, I mean, to get into a pineapple,

I mean, you've really got to lock out a good 20 minutes. Yeah. And, you know, once you open it, you've got to carve it up. You've got to get the whole, like a watermelon. Yeah, I do love a watermelon, though. I bet you're right. It's not an on-the-go. the whole, like a watermelon. Yeah, I do love a watermelon, though, but you're right. It's not an on-the-go. I'm not eating a watermelon in the start of the podcast, am I?

Watermelon's very tasty. Yeah, it's good. There are a lot of great fruits around, aren't there? There's some good fruits. Now, Jennifer, my wife, her dad was a produce man for many years. John ran a produce company. And she got too much fruit when she was here. She'd kind of been tarnished

by the amount of fruit that she got. She doesn't like melons. Really? I adore rock melon. What's the orange one? I haven't even had it so long. Rock melon are a bit feety, aren't they? Rock melon, the green one? Yeah. Now producer Behemz is coming in here with this fruit debate.

Rock melon are what? Smell feety? Yeah, they're a bit socks, producer, Bee Hubs is coming in here with this fruit debate. Rockmelon, what smell feety? Yeah, they're a bit soxy feety. Do they? I don't mind a rock melon. I've got a friend of mine. Pawpaw. Pawpaw.

Yeah, that's good. That's good. A friend of mine, and he won't, he doesn't like the cutting. It's kind of like you with the peach. You know, you don't like it.

Oh, yeah, that's good. Yeah, but he can't cut it. He can't cut fruit. He'll eat a fruit if it's given to him cut already, but they actually don't. He can't slice fruit. He's just like, any fruit. Having to slice and do the fruit.'ll eat a fruit if it's given to him cut already but they actually can't slice fruit any fruit

having to slice that's a huge inconvenience he's like I can't do it I can't do it or he will he'll put himself through it to you know

make a lunch for his daughter or something like that put himself through it wow it's just like yeah we should get him on the show yeah

there's a good type of jobs you can't do he's like I just he just can't he's just like I've got a mate that can't touch ice you know he can't make a He's like, I just can't. He's just like, ooh. I've got a mate that can't touch ice.

You know, he can't make a drink with ice. Really? You know ice, that stickiness? Oh, yeah. That creeps him out. We spoke to that lady who, as a youngster, tested it out. Stuck her tongue to the freezer and she was alone, home alone. Yeah, she's still there, I think.

Just waiting for it to thaw out. Another person we know did the cheap napkins. The feel of cheap napkins. That's right. Which just like makes you eat. Yeah. It's a thing. So cheap one like being sort of Burger King, McDonald's ones.

Yeah. She couldn't touch them. She'd feel physically ill. Yeah. It's fine. You've got the same with the peaches, don't you? I do. Yeah.

But fruit, going to your point about cutting fruit, always for some reason tastes better cut than when you eat it whole like if you had the apple now cut into pieces yeah it's got nice taste better yeah my nana used to peel the outside she doesn't like the skin yeah she used to peel the skin i mean like a granny smith just sit there and peel the thing away and then cut it up with a knife you're like not with a peeler with a knife yeah that was they had a wild fruit regime as well. They'll have grapefruit for breakfast, but then you had to douse it with so much brown sugar to get that.

Is this even good for you anymore? You're eating a 90% lemon. Also, rewinding to the pineapple. I feel when you buy a pineapple at the supermarket, you also, as part of the price of purchase, you also buy 20 fruit flies that you take home with you. Oh, is that just it? Yes. If there was a pineapple in the house,, you also buy 20 fruit flies that you take home with you. Oh, is that just it?

Yes. Is there one in the pineapple? There's a bloody fruit fly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I can give or take bananas. Oh, I love it. Yeah, I love a banana.

But then some people, they'll get to a stage where they just won't eat them. There's a sweet spot for a lot of people with bananas. You go to the supermarket and kick the tray with holding the pineapples and it just sets off the fruit flies that are all landed in there. Where do they, do they breed? I don't understand how you, sometimes you have them there and other times you won't. And then they pop up. How are they getting in the house? Are they waiting for me to

What do they do? Do they breed? I presume maybe the fruit's coming in with larvae on them. With them, oh. Oh that's lovely to think about. Yeah, I I join my anal on this tiny apple now. Hey, podcast day, a fun show. Talked to an amazing lady, Roxanne, who was the labour line, and how she ended up giving birth in the back of her Audi on the motorway with a guy on a Harley Davidson looking at her.

Great tale. That's on the podcast. Enjoy your weekend. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast Happy for a Friday, eh? Not happy, there seems to be, I know there's a lot of talk about the cost of living crisis There's another crisis too, there's a soda shortage crisis I'm a big consumer of Schweppes soda

Oh you love soda, don't you? Oh jeez, I have a lot of soda a day and there's none in the supermarket I don't know what to do You know, we keep saying you need to get a soda stream. Do you not have a soda stream? Make your own. No. Oh my gosh, I would have assumed that he was. Save yourself hundreds. Yeah, now Ben's got one. Have you got your bottle? Open up your bottle.

Yeah. I've only done it this morning, so yeah. Yeah, it releases feels like a door on Jeff Bezos' rocket opening. Anyway, so that was just a little thing I wanted to get out there. Sort out the soda crisis, Jacinda.

Will she admit there's a soda crisis? I don't know. I'll spend two weeks trying to get her to. You really haven't, like, you're not relating to the common person with this conversation. Maybe you and Mike Hoskin can have a run over bubbly water.

Yeah, bubbly water. I do love a bubbly water, though. I don't know people, Judge. I don't mind. Listen, I was driving to work and I know what you're going to do. You're going to mock me because you say all I do

is talk about driving in the car. It's where a lot of your old content, that and now I think bubbly water. Soda content. Especially at ten past six. All our ten past six audience. I saw you driving. Yeah, and you've even got a montage, don't you?

Yeah, I do. Yeah, here you go. Driving around the highways and things over summer Now, yesterday I saw producer Juliette And your car in the work garage, Juliette You know, this car, it looks like it's been driven Every day through the Gaza Strip The most stressed out any motorist can be

Is when you feel a siren coming up behind you Sitting at traffic lights another car, four cars back you love it what have you seen now? well, you know when you come off a motorway on ramp sorry, a motorway exit

a lot of times, many instances in cities around Aotearoa you're coming off I don't know if they have this in Christchurch, a one-way system. So you get these four lanes all going one way. Right, yeah. I get off at the motorway off-ramp.

The four-lane one-way says, there is someone driving up the wrong way in the middle lane. Really? All the way up. And it's probably two or three kilometres, this road. Oh, my goodness. And I just, you know what I really admire about that is just how much ignoring has

had to take place. You know, ignoring of signs, ignoring of, and we love nothing more. Well, I love nothing more when I'm driving and you have the opportunity to honk at someone and wave your arms going, you're going the wrong way. Everyone's doing that lot of ignoring of that. Just blindly going about your way. Just still carrying on, not're going the wrong way. Everyone's doing that. A lot of ignoring of that. Just blindly going about your way. Just still carrying on.

Not even like, oh, turn around or stop or something. That is rogue. Wow. I don't know how that's ended up. And so this was early in the morning. Were there like a couple of cars around, but it's not like it was peak time. There's half a dozen cars going all the same way.

Shit. And all of us just. Dangerous. Yeah. Because you hear those stories of daughtery, old people getting on the motorway on the wrong way wrong way going for kilometers down there how how like there's so many like wrong way red signs and cross-stitch one speaking of cross-stitch the one-way system when i first got there that confuses the heck out of you yeah it does i remember outside i remember

someone getting stopped because someone else weighedaved them down and they were like, mate, you're going the wrong way. Great line for the person who's like, yeah, I'm only going one way. That was what I remember the person saying. Yeah, but you're going the wrong way. I was like, that's great. I thought he had a one-way system. I've got one way I need to go. This is the way I need to go. I was like, wish I could

be that clever on the spot. I was like, well, you've been illegally driving for the last 10 minutes, but you come up with a great line. He was like, all right, get back out there, mate. Scrolling through your feed. Tell you what you can do, Ben Bush, you can stick your bulletin where the sun don't shine, mate. And that's at 20 past six in the morning. That's right. Now, a lot of talk about inflation. Things are very expensive in the supermarket,

petrol as well. But apparently it's more expensive to go to the toilet. Now, the price of toilet paper has gone up 17% in the past year. So 17%. So one of the higher items, yeah, about $7 on average for a 12-pack of toilet paper. So that's gone up. And they reckon in Australia, if you're a big fan of coffee, and we are on the show this time of the morning,

but in Australia, they reckon by the end of the year, a price of coffee in a cafe could go up to $7. Jeez. $7. Yeah, they reckon there's a supply issue from Brazil at the moment, so the price of coffee is going up. And it could follow New Zealand. At the moment, it's still a few dollars off that.

There are alternative options out there to get your energy levels up though okay if you want to take those that's over to you the police might frown upon some of them but they are

they're there they're available and they might be cheaper than coffee at some stage of the year fishing I was talking about the soda shortage

before Ben in the supermarket also you're talking about toilet paper handy towels like paper towels. None.

Right. None on the shelves. Shoot. Jeez, we've gone through a lot of trees lately, haven't we? And yesterday, of course, was St. Patrick's Day and celebrations were pretty quiet around the country, but it wasn't the case in Dunedin. I don't know if you guys saw it on the news last night. Couches were being burned.

There was big parties going on. Someone, unfortunately, fell off a roof So it was really I think pushing the COVID Limits of how many people could hang out together And also pushing the police's patience As well They must go through so many couches down there

Why burning couches? You just saw papers It's the same for Couch is the best option Cheaper to burn expensive. You know, it's the same for both our sort of payment. Yeah, maybe couch is the best option. Cheaper to burn a couch, I guess. But you're right, it's such a weird thing. And it's gone on for decades. No other city in New Zealand burns more couches than Dunedin.

So many couches. I mean, if you ran a furniture store down there, you'd be killing it. But it's not like the students have got, oh, we've got an excess of couches in our flat. I wouldn't imagine they'd have a couch ready to go. No, because you'd wake up the next morning and go, oh, where's the bloody couch? Oh, we burnt it.

You know you've got nothing in your lounge. Yeah. Julia, did you burn couches when you were a student? No, I never burnt couches, but I did witness one when I was down in Dunedin in my second year of university, and it was a wild time. And is the purpose of the burning of the couch,

and excuse my ignorance, at the time, is it cold at night, so you're just doing it to... I actually don't know. Well, when I went down, it was February. So it wasn't super, super cold. I think it was just entertainment purposes. It was just stunty purposes.

Yeah. It's great. I've never burnt one. Maybe we need to do that on this radio show. Take that off our bucket list. We're doing a bucket list. Burn a couch. Burn a couch.

See how good it feels. Clearly there's something in it. Everyone's doing it. Yeah. We could do that under safe circumstances. I'm going to go out into the reception area at work right now and throw some petrol on it. Firstly, petrol, very expensive.

Yes, yes, yes. Good point. We'll do it under safe circumstances. You're right. I'm just saying the students didn't factor in those petrol costs. And that is scrolling through your feed this morning. On the way for you. We talked a lot about sleep over the last couple of days.

How much sleep you need at night? Do you know, we've dropped the ball on this. Because it's World Sleep Day today. We went early on it. We were doing all our sleep content Wednesday, Thursday. Now we realise it's World Sleep Day. We'll do some more. It is World Sleep Day.

And we'll tell you how many hours a night from next week You should be sleeping, that's next Rise and shine, time to start the Who are we kidding? We're not the boss of you Jono and Ben, on the hits You're on the hits, Jono and Ben Today is World Sleep Day

They seem to have a day for everything But it looks like an important day to have Yeah, it does seem like an important day And, you know, just get some public awareness out there about sleep in case you didn't know it was a thing. It's an option. Why, yeah. I think most people don't.

Sleep exists and this is what World Sleep Day is about, just creating awareness. Everyone has, you know, I feel like everyone says they probably could get more sleep. I think that's the general thing, you know, whether you're working, you know, double shift, whether you're, I'm used to talking about mums there, you know, new mums. Jeez.

Yeah, not getting much sleep there, are they? That's for sure. I remember being in those trenches. I remember those trenches, Ben. You know, my wife Amanda, jeez, you know. So, yeah, you know, so spare a thought for that. Well, you know, you come in every day, you're like, I didn't get much sleep. Well, you know, mate, shut up.

Whatever you're saying, shut up, up okay i'm not saying anything don't even think about talking because i'll tell you to shut up all right now yesterday yesterday the champagne jono and ben maneuver we blew all of our sleep cookies on the show yesterday the day before World Sleep Day. To be honest, we weren't aware it was World Sleep Day until afterwards. And everyone went, why are you doing that? On World Sleep Day. Yeah, so now we're bringing it back. So we spoke to an expert on not World Sleep Day,

the day before World Sleep Day. I was probably confused. He's like, why are you talking to me today? It's World Sleep Day tomorrow. Dr. Alex Bartle was his name. He's from the Sleep Well Clinic. And some really interesting, it was a really interesting conversation with him about sleep. How much should you be eating? Well, there's lots of studies showing that less than six hours is really not helpful. We all have less than six hours sleep at times. We all sometimes only have one or two hours and we

get through without any great problem, but keep doing it and you end up in strife. Long term, really bad for the brain. Dwayne The Rock Johnson only gets four hours a night. And we want, 0800, the hits actually, do you get less sleep than Dwayne The Rock Johnson? Because, you know, if you are getting that amount of sleep, then napping is always an option. Is that a good idea, Alex?

Napping can be really helpful. As long as you keep it reasonably short. So, you know, less than half an hour, less than 20 minutes often is a good power nap. My comment on that, though, is if you're a relatively young person, say you're less than 70, and you're needing to nap every day, then there's something wrong with your sleep.

I like talking to you, Alex. Relatively young? Under 70? He's plugging to our hearts, isn't he? He's like, oh, I know,

one of them looks, that bald guy looks like he's about 69. I better say 70 plus. And also, if you are having trouble sleeping, this is a real simple fix

he gave us. Try not to go to bed too early. Always go to bed later rather than earlier. Spend more time outside. Getting outside produces a hormone serotonin, and at night serotonin converts to melatonin.

So rather than taking melatonin tablets, get outside. Go for a walk. Much better for you in the long term. That's really good. So he's saying go to bed. I think he's kind of meaning don't go to bed too early because sometimes if you try to fall asleep early, you kind of stress yourself out to fall asleep. You're putting pressure on yourself to go to bed when you're a little bit tired.

Yeah, because you might fall asleep easier. There you go. So I'll wait under the hits, actually. Can we find people who are having the least amount of sleep listening right now? You can text 24487. You might be a bit too tired to text, or call, actually. We'll get back to that. World Sleep Day.

We went early and we brought it back. It is the hits. You got Jono and Ben. Jono and Ben. World Sleep Day today. It is, and did you know one in four married couples sleep in separate beds? Wow. Did you know that?

No. Yeah. Huh. I mean, I get it, though. Like, if you're sleeping, it's not like you're working on your relationship or anything, is it? Yeah. You know, get what you need to do and then go your separate ways.

That makes sense, yeah. Yeah. Now, we've got Lawrence on the phone for World Sleep Day. How much sleep are you getting? Oh, now I'm getting a lot more, but I got about four hours sleep for 20 years. 20 years? Yes, you committed to the Dwayne The Rock Johnson sleeping schedule. How'd that go for you?

Oh, mate, I ended up on dialysis for four and a half years, nine hours a day. Oh, my God. You reckon because of the lack of sleep that you kind of got? Yeah, the body just didn't regenerate, the kidneys. So yeah, I was a courier 13, 14 hours a day, then I was playing top level sports and slept three to four hours a day, chasing the money. Damn, and so this has had a long lasting impact on your health now or your kidneys are okay now? Well, I had a transplant. I had a transplant a year ago. I was an Eastern Europe professional coach for 12 years. So I did the time there, did the transplant, got stronger, did press-ups after three months, emergency MIQ, and I come back to the metropolis

of Picton. What were you coaching? I was coaching softball and rugby. I did three world championships for Czech Republic. Wow. Did you? Yeah, and I coached national rugby for under-18 Serbia. Oh, that's amazing. What a life you've led, Lawrence.

Oh, mate, I'm happy to be home. It's just so great to have red meat, not travel 17 hours to the beach and friendly people. Oh, good on you. Well, listen, I hope your health's okay now.

Sweet, thanks. Yeah, and four, jeez, that's what happens when you sleep four hours a day. Oh, yeah. What would you say to Dwayne The Rock Johnson? Because I know he'll be listening.

Oh, there you go. You're the man, mate. But, you know, health is number one and never take it for granted, I'd say. All right. Good on you, Lawrence. Thank you very much for your call.

You keep safe. Thank you. Colleen, you're on. Welcome. Are you getting less sleep than Dwayne the Rock Johnson? Yeah, I don't get much sleep. How much sleep are you getting a night? About four hours.

Oh, yes. You're on par. Why? I'm having created an angel brand. It's a brand in the UK. Oh, so this is the time that you're quite creative, you find, overnight? Overnight, yes. It's a good time.

Right. Sorry, what's an angel brand? An angel brand, it was created in the UK by Andy's Angels. It was a bunch of people that got together under lockdown and to support each other. Oh, I think I remember reading about this. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. And helping out people and stuff and stuff. Yeah, gotcha. So you're doing this but at night you find yourself more creative? Yeah.

Well, I work 40 hours a week. Oh, so you're doing this on top of your job as well. Yeah, on top of my job. What's your daytime job? Essential worker. You're an essential worker and then you're doing this overnight and that results in four hours sleep. Sometimes less.

Sometimes less? Do you find your function okay? Yeah. It's not too good in the long term. I think the body gets used to it. Yeah, well, Lawrence would say different who we just spoke to. Well, you know, you can catch up on sleep over the weekend. Well, yeah.

You can't bank it, we've heard, but you can catch up. You can rejuvenate a bit more, so yeah. I always really appreciated some energy drink that I saw in a dairy once, and it just said, sleep when you're dead. And I think it's a great thing to live your life by. Get jacked up on caffeine energy drinks. Yeah, caffeine. Yeah, worry about rest.

Caffeine and V. That's right. Good on you, Colleen. Well, you go and have a V and have a great day. You too. Thank you. Hear me? Crazy sleep regime on a fishing boat, we understand.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's hard to get, all right. I used to get about five hours sleep every 48 hours. Wow, so how long would you be away for? Would you be away for 48 hours and that would be the sleep you get? No, no, no, no, we'd be away for a week. Like, you know, pull the nets in, you know, do the mahi, and then once done that, you might get an hour before you pull another one in.

Yeah, after that, you get about five hours of a break, you have a sleep, and you get back up when the next sleep comes in. Ruthless. Well, I guess the fish don't sleep? No, the fish are out there, they've got to be caught. Got to be caught. Are you week on, week off with a job like that?

No, sort of. If the weather's good, you're out there. You get used to not sleeping, and I tell you, you enjoy the sleep when you do sleep. Yeah, I mean, that's the good thing about not sleeping, isn't it? Is that when you do get 10 minutes, you really do treasure those 10 minutes. Well, Hemi, there you go on the fishing boat. Five hours sleep every two days.

Pretty much, yeah. Well, Hemi, there you go. You've made me feel like a right pussy. Thank you very much. You have a great day. You too, mate. Rated M for mildly amusing. Jono and Ben on the hits.

A lot of talk about the cost of living. Is it a crisis? Well, the media have been saying it's a crisis for a while, and finally Jacinda Ardern said the words that the reporters wanted to hear, to say crisis. She dropped the crisis bomb. And it's great for things like this for us as a radio show you know you can just say oh cost a living crisis just anytime you want you can appear topical you know even it's not great for the prices for everyone

though no no i'm but you got to look at the silver lining there's no silver lining there's other stuff we could be talking about Yeah true Well another crisis is Radio shows trying to crack a parody song Around this topical event And we've been in crisis mode for two weeks Haven't we Ben? Yeah And we've finally settled on one

You know the song Fancy Like? Yeah Walker Hayes, Casher What if we change that to Pricey Like? How would that sit in the market? Well we'll find out right? Yeah because cheese Well $13 for a block of cheese $9 for a cabbage pricey like? You know, how would that sit in the market? Yeah, well, we'll find out, right? Yeah, because your cheese, 12,

well, 13 bucks for a block of cheese, nine bucks for a cabbage. You're paying an extra four grand on your mortgage this year. Yeah, you got the price of petrol as well. You basically got to rent out your place

to have people come live with you. You could say it's pricey. Yeah, well, it's pricey like, isn't it? There is a cost of living crisis and Kiwis feeling the pinch in their back pocket.

You're saying that the word crisis does apply. You can call it a crisis. We need to do something about it. My car's an empty. Needs basic maintenance. Requires unleaded petrol for sustenance. Drive it to BP. F*** it's pricey.

Knew I should have bought one of Elon Musk EVs. Guy behind the counter says you gotta pay. Even though we got the cost of living crisis. The word crisis does apply. Yeah, it's pricey like a Keltex on the forecourt. Got that nozzle in my tank, draining money from my bank. Nine buck cabbage in the car, two. One cheese, twelve dollars, damn i got screwed to buy

my butter i took out a loan extra freaking four grand to live on my home thanks to inflation can't afford to buy some bacon this shampoo costs 52 pricey like call it a crisis. Brassie like. Ooh. Call it an emergency. Brassie like. Ooh. A shock. Ooh. Brassie like. Ooh. The word crisis does apply.

Brassie like. There we go. What I like about that is we didn't sing. We're going to give it a go, but geez. We're kind of ghostwriters on this. We're kind of like, you know, Dr. Dre. We like to take a back seat. Let the others.

Let Dr. Dre make some music. That's someone else's music. We're kind of like, you know, the Dr. Dre. We like to take a back seat. Let the others. Let the others. Dr. Dre makes the music. That's someone else's music. We're not here. I don't know why I just compared us to Dr. Dre. I don't know what we're like. I don't know. Who knows? You know, I always feel like we are letting the team down here at the hits. Everyone can sing. It's like we're working with the bloody cast of Hamilton.

We've got nothing, Ben. Yeah, I know. Nothing. You're right. Nothing at all. But we've got Spy on the way, so that's something. Yes. And Juliet will do that. Yes. Spy.

Know what's up. Spy.co.nz. Time for Juliet to bring her unique brand of youthful exuberance to the show. Let the old guys have a rest for a while.

What's happening in Spy, mate? So, Kim Kardashian was on the Ellen show yesterday, and she spoke about the, what everyone was wondering, the photo of Pete Davidson that came out, and it looked like he had Kim tattooed on his chest.

Now, this photo that he sent was an antagonistic photo to Kanye West. It was in a text communication between them, and Kanye's like, where are you? And he's like, in bed with your wife. Yeah, and then sent a photo with a sort of tongue out. I think the whole world went, ooh. I know. Ooh, that's a kick in the guts.

Kanye's now off Instagram. He's been sort of kicked off the gram for 24 hours, isn't he? Yes, he has. His profile's still there, but he can't post. The reason he's been kicked off is technically for violating hate speech and bullying. 24 hours, it'll sort that out, won't it? Have a breather, mate. Sit on the benches.

But Kim was on the Ellen show, and obviously Ellen loves to get to the T, and she dug deep. One of her favourite hobbies, along with bullying. Getting exclusives. Maybe she should be kicked off the Gram Tate. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. And so Kim revealed the tattoos that Pete has, including the one that's on his chest. Yeah, he has a few tattoos, a few cute ones, you know, that he got.

But this one is a, it's not, that one, the Kim one, isn't a tattoo. It's actually a branding. When you say branding, so like literally like an iron thing went onto his body to brand Kim. Yes. I just think he was like, I want something that's there that I can't, you you know get rid of my tattoos Cuz he's in the process of getting rid of his arm tats and his neck tats

So he's like I don't want to be able to get rid of it or to cover it up And I just wanted it like there as like a scar on me right the other ones are like cutesy things I think my favorite one it says here., it says, my girl is a lawyer. And that one's really cute. Wow. She's never going to regret that, is she? So yeah,

it's like a permanent scar. We're looking into it before online. It's almost like a soldering iron, I guess. It's like they tattoo you, but with something that's basically scars you and it stays there. Yeah.

Yeah. It's like you can see almost the heat or like almost like a little flame that burns into the skin. As if you've burnt yourself they don't do a lot of places but yeah because it's not just like branded like they they stick a big sort of metal hot metal thing on yeah it's like something they sort of they do still draw on and we'll be giving a go with ben after eight o'clock this morning with my soldering iron that i bought in just a bit of us in fact oh 800 the hits 448, you can text us too.

Have you gone early on a relationship tattoo? Like how early can we find someone who, from meeting them to ending up getting a tattoo with them? Because this is relatively early, I guess, in their relationship. But not to say you can't do it. I'm sure a lot of people have done it in their relationships. They've gone on to marry other people. And I know what, Ben, what do you like to say?

As long as it? As long as you're happy. As long as you're happy. You know, that's all. You can't change. You're happy in that moment and it's a memory. And some people don't Ben, what do you like to say as long as it? As long as you're happy. As long as you're happy. You know, that's all. You can't change. You're happy in that moment and it's a memory. And some people don't regret those memories at all.

That's true. The thing that sort of concerns me about Pete is that he was engaged to Ariana Grande. And he got, I think, at least one tattoo. But the one that I can remember is one behind his ear. And it was like a symbol that represented Ariana. But they called off their engagement and broke up. But then he had to cover it as like a love heart. So I'm like, oh, what if he's like just getting tattoos of all of his girlfriends and then they break up and then he has to remove them?

I mean, that kind of feels like a thing you can get and remove now. It doesn't feel like there's that much jeopardy to getting a tattoo. Maybe not the scar one, though, by the sound of it. What's that, sorry? Maybe not the branding one, though. Yeah, the branding one. That's like a scar in your skin. You're right, Jono. You the branding one though. Yeah the branding one. That's like a scar in your skin. You're right Jono.

You can you know. Yeah. I've got my Jono Ben and Sharon on my tattoo. We'll be around forever. That'll never end. I forgot you had that. I have yeah. But it's a memory.

No regrets? No it's one of those things. You're like oh it's a memory. It's a story. Totally. It provides some fodder every you know six months when we bring it up. You're right. 4487, have you gone early on a relationship tattoo?

How did it pan out for you? We'd love to get some of your calls on later on. And that is bye. For more, you can head to the hits.co.nz. It is the final day for you to get in the draw to live free of your rent and mortgage. We'll tell you what song you should be listening out to after seven very shortly on the hits.

The show where the masks make them look a whole lot better john owen ben on the hits we're talking just before about pete davidson uh getting it was three uh three tattoos for kim kardashian their new relationship that's been a few months old i guess yeah i know but you know and one of them's a branding too like with the branding sort of soldering iron thing that That's not coming off. That's like what you do to a cow or something. And apparently it's been a thing in the old fetish community for a long time. Oh, really?

It has there, Ben Boyce. Text through there on 4487. I'm surprised you didn't know about it already. Oh, true, actually. I'm just getting into the old fetishes. But we're not one to judge. I mean, you know, you've got a picture of your wife I do yeah Jennifer

do you a tattoo where on the inside of my arm it's like a portrait and I've got portraits of Oscar and Poppy my children as well

yeah I've got my wife wedding date on there as well in Roman numerals and he's forgotten his anniversary twice I know which is not a great look I've got my wife's lips

she put lipstick on the thing you know tattooed as well, so you know, got things like that. That's so cool. So we want to know from you guys right now on our 100 The Hits, have you got something that marked a relationship, a tattoo maybe? Yeah, have you gone early on a tattoo as well?

Are there any regrets? Ben, you probably should have got those not in Roman numerals. Hard to understand your anniversary in Roman numerals. I know, that's probably where I went wrong. Yeah, you've just gone the standard one, two, you know, would have helped you out a bit. Yeah, exactly. Phoebe, you're on from Tauranga.

Yes, good morning, guys. So I did exactly the same thing. I went and decided with my boyfriend that I'd only just met, oh, I don't know, six months beforehand, and we were all in love, and we wanted to stay together forever. So I went and got a tattoo of his name. So how long had you been with this person?

Oh, like literally four months. Oh, that is early. You've gone early. Where did you get a tattoo, Phoebe? I decided, right, I'm going to get a tattoo of his name on my forearm against everybody's advice, including my mum, very much a big no-no. It'll never last. This is just a fling, they say.

It's your first love. You will regret this for the rest of your life. Righty, righty, right. Yeah. Well, I tell you what, 20 years later. You still regret it? Absolutely. Wait, sorry, I talked over you.

Did you say you had kids? We have kids. And you're still together? And we're married. That's beautiful. Not how I thought that was going to end up. I know. And it lasted.

And you know what? About 10 years after he decided he would return the favor and get a tattoo, it was my name and my collarbone. And again, everybody said, don't do it. You won't last. 10 years in? 10 years. How much longer do you need? That's incredible.

I love that he wasn't showing the same level of commitment four months in though. Someone had to do it first. That's awesome. Thank you for your call. We really do appreciate it Remember Someone we used to work with They got a tattoo

Quite early on In the relationship Which is fine I know who you're talking about But I think it was a typo There was a typo Yeah There was a bit of a spelling error

It auto-corrected To something else obviously And there was a couple I think a couple of letters Were actually wrong on that one Which is And then the relationship Ended too I think about a month After that Yeah wrong on that one. And then the relationship ended too, I think, about a month after that.

Yeah, that was a volatile relationship. It was wild. Short, sharp. At least you have an almost correct spelling to remember it by. Oh, wait, don't do the hits. Keep them coming through. Have you got a tattoo of someone's name on you? Are there regrets?

We need to hear the horror stories as well. Get them on air this morning on New Zealand's Breakfast. Jono and Ben, Breakfast on the Hits. We're talking tattoos this morning. Ed Sheeran, speaking of Ed Sheeran, he's got a lot of tattoos. He gets ones from each place he sort of visits and ones he's got like a Heinz ketchup

bottle from the place that makes Heinz ketchup in America. Just some little memories along the way. If that doesn't get him a lifetime supply of ketchup, then I don't know what else would. You must have got to really love ketchup, don't you? Exactly.

Yeah, because Kim Kardashian just admitted on Ellen that Pete Davidson has got three tattoos already. Very short relationship. One of them being a branding, like a branding iron of her name, Kim. It's like a scar,

a permanent scar. He's gone early and he likes to go early because he went earlier with an Ariana Grande tattoo as well. And I went early with tattoos too. It's sort of 16, 17, I got my first one. And I just wanted to feel like a bona fide badass.

So I went in there and I was like, oh, why don't you put my initials on my bicep to the guy? And I want it in Old English, you know, Old English font. Okay. Yeah, it makes you more badass if it's in old English. Not new English. I don't want it aerial to Homer. Yeah.

Not even a Calibri bed. Yeah. Old English. But then unfortunately what I didn't factor in with the old English calligraphy was that JRP, Jonathan Richard Pryor. Oh, your full name, yeah. Full name. Turned out, and it looked like the IRD.

Oh, that is so, oh my gosh, I'm looking at that now. This guy loves his text. His text. It does. Yeah. Full name. Turned out, and it looked like the IRD. Oh, that is so... Oh, my gosh, I'm looking at that now. It's tax. It does! Yeah. The letters! Tax tats. Tax tats, yeah. You pay your GST, mate?

Oh, mate, I talk to you about GST all day long. So as much love as Pete Cleary has for Kim, I have for our tax system. So we're just talking. Have you got a relationship tattoo? Did you go early? Do you regret them? Whatever

Kim Palmy North Welcome to New Zealand's breakfast How are you? Good thank you Yeah good You paying your tax? I'll be on you mate Like white on rice

I'll do an audit on you At the end of this phone call Kimbo Is it you who had the tat? No my husband He got the names of Our kids and their birthdays on his arm Oh, that's adorable Which I find quite helpful for remembering birthdays

But he got our oldest son's birthday wrong on the tattoo Oh no Now, was this the artist's era? Was it your husband's era? Oh, he tried to blame me, actually, because we messed around with, like, how it should look on a computer before he went in. And we were playing around with, you know, numbers for the dates

or whether to have the month in there as well as the word. Yep. And somehow just some of the numbers got mixed up, and we didn't notice because my oldest son was only a few weeks old at the time, so we're both pretty tired. Yeah, right. Now, come clean, Kim.

Was this just a prank you pulled on him? Because it's a wonderful prank. And now it's time for the reveal. It was me the whole time. Oh, that's really good. Hey, Kim, you go and have a great week. Oh, sorry, you're still talking. I'm talking over you.

Now I'm doing bad radio. Oh, geez. Yeah. Yeah, now we'll you go and have a great week. Oh, sorry, you're still talking. I'm talking over you. Now I'm doing bad radio. Oh, jeez. Yeah, now we'll do this tax audit. You stay on hold, okay? Yeah. Good on you. His idea for fixing it was that he wanted to just change our son's birthday on the paperwork. Oh, my God.

He didn't get his way with that one. I made him go back and have a bit of pain and fix it. That seems like the only sensible solution. Why don't we just say he was born on another day? That's a day out. That's amazing, Kim. Appreciate your call. Have a great weekend.

You too, thanks. Let's head to Hemi. You went early on a relationship tat. Yeah, mate. I've got her name on my wrist. Her name was Mary, but in Maori it's Mary. Yeah. on a relationship tit yeah and we broke up you know a few months after that she got mine she got she got my uh date of birth on hers i didn't get her date's birth on my wrist. But I had a daughter later on in another relationship, I had a daughter called Mercedes, and I just tell everybody that, better short for Mercedes. There you go, you can save it.

How long into the relationship did you get the tattoos, Hemi? We would have been together for a year, over a year. Twelve months feels like, oh yeah, you can go, yeah, you could take a risk. It's still quite early, but a little bit of hesitation, but you can get into the tattoo parlour. Any regrets with the tattoos? No, no, not at all. She probably did because she got my hand burnt on her.

You can't change that, can you? Well, now you have to go over the top or something, wouldn't you? Yeah. Or you actually have to do something really special on that day. Yeah. Make sure you do something special and go, oh,

this is a memory of, you know, the time I, I don't know, got off a parking ticket or something. True. Or go back and look at what famous person was born on that day.

Oh, jeez, I'm a huge fan of Charlie Chaplin. I don't know how I... Whatever. Hey, would you do it again? No.

No, no, no. He doesn't regret it, but he wouldn't do it again. Yeah. If I get married, I will get the pretty ring tattoos. Oh, nice. Yeah, they're cool, those.

I like those, yeah. Yeah, I don't think I'll ever get another name on me. All right, you go and have a great day. Love your work. Cheers, mate. One year, no rent, no mortgage. What? The Hats.

Live free. With oneroof.co.nz. I was going to do that, but then that guy came in with his fancy music and his deep voice. It sounded a lot better than you would sound. He'd been through puberty nine times. Yeah, so if you want to live free, today is the final day to get in for this competition. 7 o'clock this morning and 8 o'clock. After 8 o'clock, we're going to do this twice in our show.

And of course throughout the day if you want to get the songs you need to listen out for head to oneroof.co.nz and you'll find

the songs that could hopefully get your rent or mortgage paid for an entire year. And Monday morning it's all happening. You're going to be

pulling someone's name out to have their mortgage knocked off for all rent for an entire year. It's life changing eh?

It's amazing. Tell you what Ben we're out here changing lives. There's no two ways about it. Yeah, well, thanks to oneroof.co.nz but we'll take the credit.

We're doing God's work. Thanks to oneroof.co.nz. Yeah. We're bringing you God's work. It's incredible. So yeah, you've got to get in today. It's your only chance to get a key this afternoon

and then one of those five people will be winning that amazing prize. And let's head to Christchurch. Megan, welcome. You're on the air. Hi. Good to have you on, Meg. You're on the air. Hi. Good to have you on. Meg, you're a teacher.

You're a teacher. Sorry? You're a teacher. Yeah, I am. Yeah. That's a good job. Ben's wife's a teacher. Yeah, pretty good. It's busy times at the moment, though, with juggling everything with kids and masks and all sorts. But of course, how do they actually keep their masks on? It seems like

an impossible task. Yeah, most of them are pretty good, I guess. Do they actually keep their masks on? It seems like an impossible task. Yeah, most of them are pretty good, I think. They're doing really, really well. Yeah. I think the kids are probably better than adults. They are. A lot of ways. When I picked the kids up from school and they got the masks on, I was like, have you

been wearing that all day? Yeah. I can't do it. Yeah. They go outside at lunchtime, it's a wee reprieve when they eat their food. But other than that, they can, yeah, they keep going. It's incredible. Hey, Megan, you know, they keep saying kids are resilient.

That's what we keep telling ourselves. And, Megan, you're resilient as well because we are going to put you on the draw this afternoon. Your name could be pulled out to have your mortgage knocked off for an entire year. Oh, that would be amazing. Yeah, take the pressure off, wouldn't it? Absolutely.

It's the cost of living crisis, but despite that, we're all still living, aren't we? We're trying to. Still got to. Still got to pay the end bills. Yeah, but despite that, we're all still living, aren't we? We're trying to. Still got to. Still got to pay the bills. Yeah. Yeah, somebody's got to do it. Yeah.

What would you put the money on? The spare money you're saving? It'd be great to do something with the family and go on to the holiday or, yeah, do something with it, which would be really awesome. Well, hopefully you can get that key this afternoon with Brad and Laura, and then you could be living free on Monday morning. Sounds brilliant. Thank you so much.

The other option with that spare money is you could take out another loan and put yourself in more debt, couldn't you? Yeah, I think we'll go for that one. Yeah, go to a money shark or something? Yeah, no, let's not do that. Good luck, Megan. Good luck, eh? Okay, thanks a lot, guys.

Love you. No worries. See you later. Love you. Well, things really escalated that call, didn't they? Someone wants free mortgage pay, Jono. Got to keep my options open when it comes to mortgage payments, Ben. Next, speaking of all things money, I'm in tense negotiations with my daughter at home.

Really, I've recorded this. She's really coming in hard. We're negotiating something. I'm not budging. So we'll get to this next. I need your help. Two semi-competent dads handing out semi-competent parenting advice jono and ben on the hits now my my daughters have got to the age now where they're starting to earn a little bit of pocket money and

doing jobs they're paying tax on it you know how passionate i am about the tax system i got the ird tattooed on my arm when i was 17 i'll make sure they get paid some tax as well on that on your ass mate yeah but one of the jobs that my daughter, I've spoken about this before, but one of the jobs that my daughter Sienna does is she picks up the gifts that the dog provides for the family on the lawn. It used to be my job,

but now I have great delight in not having it as my job. I'm like, this is great. I feel a lot of power, the fact that I'm sitting inside. No, I mean, nothing really humbles you more than picking up some feces yeah you know it really puts you it puts your place on the run on the ladder does it and the um the thing i love is when you say she picks it up she's going oh yeah she yeah she gagging she get yeah it's quite it's quite nice to be inside and she's like she makes it real she's so love it Yeah so she's very dramatic with that

And I feel there's a lot of power You know Jane Campion Had the power of dog I have the power of dog poo Basically I'm sitting inside You know when I was doing it I was like Man we need to train

The dogs to go in the bathroom Like what is it Could that be a thing Some cats do Some cats do it And they flush Yeah I've seen that on the internet Or nappies

Dog nappies I was like This could be another line Of something as well But anyway It's not my job anymore It's my daughter's Some cats do. Some cats do, and they flush. Yeah, I've seen that on the internet. Or nappies, dog nappies. I was like, this could be another line of something as well. But anyway, it's not my job anymore. It's my daughter's. But yesterday. But what happens to like, so they fill up the nappy. Do you have to wipe the dog?

Yeah, and it's all hairy. You have not thought that through. This is not like Shark Tank, guys. I haven't come with a fully formed boat. I'm not investing in that. A dog nappy? It's just an idea. I'd thought through it. There's some smart scientists.

No, you had thought through it. The scientists are working on the pandemic right now, but when they're done on that, they're going to work on the dog nappies. Dog nappies. Or at least like a little basket that hangs off the dogs behind, so it's not on nappy as such, but it just catches it as it is. Okay, I'm stopping you two from coming up with ideas, okay? Anyway.

A basket dangling off a dog. Genius. So it as a horse. Okay, I'm stopping you two from coming up with ideas. Okay? A basket dangling off a dog. Genius. So it catches. Genius. We'll talk more about this, Julia, afterwards. But my daughter, Sienna, she was out there picking up, doing her job yesterday, picking up the gifts the dog had provided for the family. And then she came back inside.

She'd obviously been thinking about this. And I recorded her after she said it the first time. I was like, hang on, whoa, whoa, whoa, because she'd come up with a plan, a bit of a negotiation. Have a listen. I think I should get paid by the dog poop. So the more poops, the more money I get. I also think it should be another 50 cents if the poop is wet or runny, because that's disgusting. And the bigger the poop, the more money.

If the poop is broken in two, that is double the money. Do we have a deal? Wow, okay. I'm going to have to come back to you on that. You're also talking rather fast. Did you tell her breathing's an option? She's like, I've got to get this all out of my head. In one sentence.

Now as well. So she wants more money. It's not just like a per package payment. Yeah, not just paid to do the job as part of it. She's like, well, break it down to how many bits I have to pick up. Yeah, sort of like a sales monthly target and things like that. But I'm gathering she wants more money, so she wants the output from the dog to increase somehow.

Well, yeah, that would be the thing. Then it's going to be all down to the dog. He's the moneymaker in some regards there. So I don't know. I don't know what I'd do in this situation. I feel like the flat... Well, the only sensible option is invent your dog nappy because it's either going to cost you a lot of money, Ben,

if the dog starts increasing productivity. Or the dog nappy. The dog nappy. Dog nappies are an option. All right, nappies for dogs. And then she can wipe up the dog. Who thought we'd be talking about dog nappies this morning? Five words for 5K.

You're just five words away from $5,000. We've been so close to giving away the $5,000 the last couple of days, so hopefully we do it today. It's our Game of Word Association match. All five without five, and you win $5,000. Head to Ōtara Honga. Welcome, Annie. How are you?

More na. We are good, thank you. More na to you. You're a farmer, Annie? I'm not a farmer. I'm just a weed sprayer. All right, just a girl trying to win $5,000. Yeah.

Yep. All right, what would you spend five grand on? First of all, upgrade some of our knapsacks. Your knapsacks? Maybe our horse feet, our gumboots. Yep. Oh, yeah, gumboots. Get new gumboots.

Yep. And then, yeah. Get a lot of gumboots Yep And then yeah Get a lot of gumboots She's like I'd buy some gumboots Then I'd have $4,990 Yeah

Hey Annie You know how the game works You need to match Five words With one of us Who are you sending Into that soundproof booth This morning

Ben please Alright Annie Ben's heading in I'll head in there. Now more than ever, you need these $5,000 in this crazy cost-of-living crisis. Yeah, well. Yeah.

I love how we're in a cost-of-living crisis. You know, the first thing I buy? Gumboots. Yep. I need a good pair of gumboots to walk around these hills. All right, let's do it, Annie. Let's win you 5K, shall we, on a Friday? Cheers.

The first word that comes into Annie's head when I say app. App. A-P-P. Phone. Locking in phone. And we'll head to word number two, which is budgie. Bird. Budgie bird. Perfect. Weekend is the third word number two, which is budgie. Bird. Budgie, bird, perfect.

Weekend is the third word for you, Annie. Next. Is it next weekend? No. Come back to that question. Oh, come back. Oh, right, you want to go to the next word. Yeah.

Pocket. Money. Roll. Bread. Bread roll. Okay. Now the weekend was tripping you up. Long. What are you going to go for the weekend, Anne?

Long weekend. Long. Locking in long weekend. You did well, Annie. We'll get Ben out of the booth. Do you know my mum's name's Annie? Oh, that's an awesome name, mate. That's well, Annie. We'll get Ben out of the booth. Do you know my mum's name's Annie? Oh, that's an awesome name, man. That's a great name. Never met a bad Annie in my life.

That's a good thing. Also the orphan Annie. She was a good Annie. Yep, that was one of my names. Annie Crummer, another great Annie. We're talking about Annies. We are talking about Annies. Annie, are you okay? The one in the Michael Jackson song? There's a lot of Annies. Many great Annies. Here we go. Let's do it. Lock. Annie, are you okay? The one in the Michael Jackson song?

Oh, hey, there's a lot of Annie's. Many great Annie's, all right? Here we go. Let's do it. Let's win you $5,000, Annie Ben. First word that comes into your head when I say app. Phone. Annie, are you okay?

Are you okay, Annie? She's doing well. Budgie is the second one. Oh, Budgie. Has she gone gone She hasn't Hey Look I'm going to go Bert But I almost went Smugglers

Budgie Smugglers Weekend Saturday Yeah Annie are you okay Saturday? Annie, are you okay? No. Annie, Sunday. Should we go Sunday? No.

Long weekend. Okay. That was a bit of a trip up there. Yeah, that's a tough one. We'll go to pockets, which was the fourth word. Pants. Roll. Bread. Yeah, pocket.. Pants. Roll. Bread. Yeah, pocket money.

Annie. Cow pie. It's with a heavy heart. We send you on your way. Have a good day. Thank you very much. Hopefully you'll be able to put gumboots on those feet one day. I see, Annie.

Thanks for listening to the show. Another chance. Monday morning, same time. I watched the White Ferns last night against South Africa. A very close game in the Cricket World Cup, but they lost in the final over, which was a bit of a shame. Damn. So they're still in with a chance?

I think still in with a chance. They've got a big game against England on Sunday. Yeah, so still a chance. Why did you just double yourself on England there? I know. I was just double checking. On England. Just double checking the pronunciation.

England on Sunday, big game at Eden Park, and then hopefully they make the final four. But it was a shame. Second game they've lost in the final overs, which have been exciting games. Amazing to have this international tournament in the country at the moment, isn't it? Yeah, it's awesome. Jeez, you were playing me a screamer of a catch.

Oh, I met a green the other day against Australia. That was incredible. Is her surname Green? Yeah. Why is she. Yeah. Is this her name, Green? Yeah. Why is she not the wicket keeper? The green keeper? Oh, yeah, well, no.

Katie Martin's the keeper, so, you know. Yeah, but her name doesn't work with the pun. Well, maybe she can work on it. I don't know. I like to position

everyone based on puns, so it doesn't work like that. Is your name Valerie Batter? Okay, well, you're number one. Spy.

Know what's up. Spy.co.nz. Now to the most respected part of this program. Here's Juliet on which Kardashian forgot to brush their teeth this morning. Over to you, Ju. So, Rose Matafeo, Kiwi actress and comedian, was on the Stephen Colbert show, and that is her first sort of American late-night TV show that she's been on. Stephen Colbert is the one that came to New Zealand

hung out with Jacinda he loves New Zealand he's been I think maybe once or twice. He loves us but I feel like he mocks us at the same time.

Yeah but now because he's been here he's like it's a great country now I'll mock you. It's one of those things he took time to visit us. He saw me with Masterden

like I grew up there so now I can mock it. But they spoke about the fact that New Zealand is a very, very small place. You're from New Zealand, for the people out there who don't know.

What? And it's not a big place. Really? You've been. I've been several times. Yeah, you knocked it out in a week, didn't you? I absolutely love it there.

You love it? I love it there. I'd go back in a minute. Oh, would you? Do a nice time? But here's the thing, is that do all the celebrities in New Zealand

know each other? Like, do you hang out? I went to Jacinda Ardern's, the Prime Minister's house, and Lorde was there, of course, because they all know each other. Do you, like, all know each other now? The problem is I don't want to add to the stereotype that New Zealand is so small that everyone knows each other, but, yeah, it is.

Like, well, Jacinda, because I know Jacinda through, she was the Culture and arts minister of New Zealand, and she used to do, I do improv comedy, and she came to our shows and she did, like, monologues and stuff. She would get up? She would get up. Like, do a monologue before you guys would do a set as, like, an inspiration? I don't know what her advisors would, what would she do?

As prime minister or as minister of? As prime minister. We minister of as prime minister we need better rulers over here yeah yeah amazing love it so cool

I mean Rose is incredible and it's so amazing to see what she's doing so who shows she's got a sitcom show called Sarsatark is that playing in America

yes HBO Max I think over there as well is playing on BBC 3 or something in the UK as well so just incredible and3 or something in the UK as well. So just incredible. And she was on Graham Norton as well.

She's just flying. I saw it on Instagram yesterday. I was like, this is photoshopped. This photo of her on the set with Stephen Colbert. Oh, my mate. She replied back, yes, I've learned how to photoshop. That's incredible. And that is your Spy Entertainment update for this hour.

For more, you can head to the the hits.co.nz after eight o'clock on the show uh a nice chance with us to get in the draw to get your rent or mortgage paid for entire year thanks to one roof.co.nz tested safe for listing from home john owen ben on the hits there's another bruno uh from a movie that your kids have probably seen and watched and watched and loved the songs from, Encanto. Oh, yeah. It's an animated movie that's on Disney Plus right now and we've just found out something else about it

other than the fact that the songs are very, very catchy. Crazy. I feel like I'm living with the cast of Encanto at the moment. We're talking about Bruno. And the lady who sung, because it was all written, all the songs written by the guy who wrote Hamilton. Yeah.

Yeah. Nominated for many Academy Awards, this movie songs were written by the guy who wrote Hamilton. Yeah. Yeah. Nominated for many Academy Awards, this movie. It's a really, really amazing movie. Yeah. The lady who sung one of the songs. Yeah, Stephanie Beatrice is her name. Yeah, she's the main actor in it. Yeah, she was in Labour while she was singing probably one of the biggest songs in the movie.

And she hadn't told producers that she was in Labour at this time in the recording booth no we don't talk about being in labor we don't talk about bruno either she said she didn't want to tell anyone at disney because she didn't want anyone to freak out so she was like okay i'm just going to get to the end of the song and then later on that night apparently she gave birth yeah amazing story yeah amazing story so this is why we want to open up uh the labor line this morning what's happened while in labor uh i don't have any examples ben i haven't been in labor myself well we had this amazing story from alicia a few months ago uh who actually ended up driving herself to the hospital uh she was in labor because her husband didn't like wellington traffic have a listen you're pregnant you need to go to hospital, you pick it up from here.

So my then partner came home and I had to drive myself in rush hour traffic to the hospital. Why did you have to drive yourself? Your partner was out. He was sitting in the passenger seat. He was sitting in the passenger seat? Does he not have a licence?

Yeah, he did. He just didn't like driving in Wellington. So I did it. And then she drove herself home Yes That night Yeah Crazy So we're going to open up the labour line right now

0800 the hits What has taken place When you're about to give birth Ben did you have anything exciting Did you do any fun stuff Not a lot compared to that No No I mean antenatal classes

I do remember that You know because you kind of go in there going or learn as much as i can but there'll be medical people or midwives there you know so you're not really listening oh you're listening but you're like but hey i won't need and then we had a couple coming who had just given birth you know a few months ago and they're like oh geez it all happened and i ended up doing it in the bathtub you know like giving birth you're like oh my god this could happen to us so you're like, oh my God, this could happen to us. So you're like, damn, I should have listened to those first four weeks of this dumb course.

All right, under the hits, the Labour line is open now. You can phone up, you can support the Labour Party or you can tell us a story about being in Labour. Either or. I'd love to get your calls and texts next. The hits. We've opened up the Labour line. We want stories of what happened when you were in Labour

because one of the main actors from the movie Encanto, she was doing one of the songs and she was in Labour. She didn't tell anyone at the time, but she was actually in Labour when she was recording one of the songs. She didn't want to make a fuss. Didn't want to panic anyone. That seems like a very New Zealand approach to your job, doesn't it? I don't want to lose this gig.

Great tips coming through here. My husband took in a portable television so he could watch State of Origin which was on at the exact same time and so for most of it him and my obstetrician

were sitting on the couch watching State of Origin while I was in labour You'd be like come on that's it you're like is that me

or is that the New South Wales team or what's going on Hopefully she was thoughtful and delivered at half-time or something, so they got to see the second half. Roxanne, welcome to the Labour line. Good morning. Good to have you on, Roxanne.

What happened to you in Labour? Oh, well, I went into Labour quite early, to be honest with you. We were at a charity event the night that we went into labour and it was my partner's last hurrah. So I was like, okay, you can go out tonight, but please be home at a reasonable time. And he's like, okay, honey, thank you, kind of thing, you know, like you got his out of jail free card.

Yeah, right. And they're never home at a reasonable time, are they, Roxanne? What were you thinking was reasonable compared to his? Okay, so my reasonable, maybe like two that's reasonable that is reasonable what's his reasonable it's more than reasonable let's not go there it's almost unreasonable it's too late it's like it's like the battle it's's like the big battle, I think. Anyway. Yeah, she's a reasonable person. Yeah, I know. I was this day, that's for sure. So it was about four in the morning and I woke up and I had to go to the bathroom because when you're pregnant, you go to the bathroom.

I just went like three, four times a night easily. Yeah. And then after that, I was like, oh, my God. I was like, did I just pee myself? And my waters had actually broken. Oh, no. But it's like when you see it on TV, when a water breaks, it like gushes out,

and so you're instantly like, oh, okay, that's what happened. But in reality, for someone like me, it was just quite slow. Yeah, right. You're like, what is happening to me right now? I'm leaking. So I was like, okay, all right. I was like, okay, they're broken. So I went over to I'm leaking. I was like, okay, all right. I was like, okay, they're broken. So I went over to find Andrew and I was like, oh my God, he's not home.

This is not reasonable. Yeah, and I was like, it's four in the morning. And so I was like, okay, I need to ring him and tell him. And then I was like, I was angry, but I was like happy at the same time because it was earlier. And every woman wants to go into labor a little bit earlier. Well, I think so yeah um yeah so then i called him and he didn't answer the phone and i was like oh my god he thinks he's in trouble oh andy's like oh better not answer that one we'll deal with that in the morning yeah and then i called him again and he didn't answer and i was like thinking to myself if i have to ring around and be that psycho partner

where is he? Get him home now! Anyway and then he answered on the third time and he's like yes honey It was actually a yes honey So did you make it to the hospital? We jumped in the car and we were

I was in the back seat. And when we were on the motorway, that's when I really knew that the baby was coming. And I put my hand in there and I could feel her head. And I was like, oh, my God. And I actually tried to, like, clench to, like, try to, like, push it back in. Oh, jeez. There was, like, no going back at that point. You're like, hold on, hold on a second.

Can I suck and put it back up? So where did you have the baby? I honestly was, like, in the car, in the back seat of the Audi. Oh, my goodness. Luckily, we had leather seats, I tell you what, because that was a high-bomb site. But I wound my window down, and there was this guy on his Harley. And he, like, looked in at me.

And, like, the look on his face and he like looked in at me and like the look on his face when he could see what I was doing was just like, oh, he was in shock, I think. I just felt... Something changed inside him that day. Yeah, I was like, poor guy, he's probably going to work or something, I don't know.

An incredible story. Yeah, hey, you know that there was also a lady that gave birth in her Tesla overseas and so I was like, oh, well, she trumped my story. saw a lady that gave birth in her Tesla overseas, and so I was like, oh, well, she trumped my story. You're like, I had a good story. She put it on autopilot, and it drove her to the hospital while she gave birth. What?

Yeah. How next level is technology these days? Oh, Roxanne's like, mate, my story was good, and then you come in with your... I know. Oh, you're a legend. Hey, Roxanne, you go and have a great weekend. Yeah, no worries, guys, take it easy

Producer Juliette, you're leaving the show in a couple of weeks, which we're very sad about but we're also stoked for you going overseas and you wanted to do this for a while but you had to get a urine test yeah, now I've travelled overseas a couple of times. Not once have I ever had to extract urine from my body to be allowed to travel. So I'm going to be going and working on a super yacht.

And for one to be able to work on a super yacht, one has to go get a medical test to show that you're fit and healthy enough to do it. And so I had this appointment yesterday, and I do a series of tests. And one of them is like a hearing test and reading and everything like that. And the lady was like, once you do your hearing test, I'll leave you in this room, do your hearing test, and then afterwards I'll get you to pop into the bathroom and just go to the bathroom and I'll grab a sample. And I was like, okay.

So I do my hearing test and then I'm like, okay, go to the bathroom. Now you said you've had a shocker with the urine sample. Producer Ben Humphrey sort of asked, was it not a urine sample you delivered? Was it another sample? You're like, oh, okay. This is a small pot. I got most of it in there.

Thank God. Thank God that didn't happen. Did you accidentally drink it thinking it was lime juice? No, thank God. No, no, I did not do that. Anyway, so I go into the bathroom. And so when the lady was like, go to the bathroom and I'll grab a sample, I interpreted this as go to the bathroom as you normally would

and I'll grab a sample from the bowl. Oh, so she will go in and scoop. Scoop. Yeah. I would have wished that job They're essential workers They have to scoop it out of the I walk into the toilet and the toilet is like right off the foyer where people

are waiting in the waiting room and so I go into the bathroom and it's very obviously a bathroom like there's no corridor and everything so I go into the bathroom to the point that people could almost probably hear you pee from the waiting room Anyway so I go in and I walk right past the little bench with no corridor and everything. So I go into the bathroom, like to the point that people could almost probably hear you pee from the, from the waiting room. Anyway, so I go in and I walk right past the little bench with the, you know,

the sink and everything. And I go and sit on the toilet and I do my business. And then I look to my left and that's when I see the little containers. And I was like, Oh my goodness, what have I done? And I was like, Oh my gosh,

what if she thinks that like, I'm trying to avoid doing a urine test for some certain reason. Oh dear God. And I start panicking. And then I'm like, Oh, but she made it seem like she was going to get a sample from the bowl. And so I was like, okay, what can I do? So then I got the container and I scooped some.

You scooped it. And I was like, okay, surely this is fine. That's a mix of you and also the water that's in there. Yeah, I was like, oh, sure. And other people's. And other people's. This was going on. This is a great excuse to fail the test, isn't it?

There's a lot of drugs in your system. And I think you're pregnant at the same time. And then I'm like, oh, God, this is a shambles. I've done this all wrong. I should have just done it in the container. i didn't do what i was supposed to do so i go out into the foyer and there's people waiting and it's all very quiet and she's at the reception and i'm like oh i think i've done it wrong like i just went in the toilet and i i've never done one before because i hadn't and i so i've i've scooped some if you want to use that

and she goes oh no no no no um and everyone's just kind of like looking at me. She scooped? She scooped? She's a scooper? Everyone's just looking at me. And she's like, no, no, no, what we'll do is just, have you got some water? Just scald some more water and we'll do another one in 20 minutes. And I was like, oh, my God.

All these people are going to think, oh, she doesn't know how to do a urine sample. She did a take two. Yeah, did a take two. Farley. We had a shock. Well, mind you, we should laugh Because we had a shocker as well I did mine into the container

And then I thought I had to take it back out To reception So I was like I was going to do that I was going to do that But I didn't It didn't have a lid

And it was kind of Sloshing around And I was like There you go And I put it on the thing And she's like what This is for a TV show We had to get a medical

Wasn't it And I didn't realise that I just left it in the bathroom Arrogantly left it in the bathroom arrogantly left it in the bathroom for them to come in so whoever used the bathroom next would be like

yeah gross medicals it's lots of fun isn't it? yeah well well done Ju and no matter what happens

I'm going to tamper with your samples so you're not allowed to go to France you can't leave us and as the hits you've got John on bed 838

one year no rent no mortgage the hits. You've got John on bed 838. One year, no rent, no mortgage. The hits live free. With oneroof.co.nz. It is the very final day to get in to hopefully get a key this afternoon with Brad and Laura. One of five keys to get your rent or mortgage paid for an entire year. Thanks to oneroof.co.nz.

If you want the full list of songs today, head to oneroof.co.nz. It's all on there. Yeah, we're going to head to a place where.co.nz. It's all on there. Yeah, we're going to head to a place where they roll their R's and roll their cheese rolls. Southland, come on down, Bree. Hi there. How are you, mate? I am really good.

How are you guys? We're doing well, thank you very much. Now, you're running a busy routine, aren't you? Oh, just a little bit. Just a little bit. What have you been doing? What have you achieved this morning while we've been sitting here on our cabooses just talking nonsense? Oh, sorting my dogs out.

One of my dogs had puppies about a week ago, and then I've got three kids. We've got one off to school, one off to kindy. Got to get the other one sorted to take her to swimming lessons. She's a busy operation. Jeez, you've done way too much procreating in your life. Even the animals. Hey Bree, imagine 12 months of no rental mortgage. What would that mean to you?

Oh, it would just be absolutely insane. I honestly wouldn't even know where to start with what it would help with, like paying off the car, being able to do something with the kids, making some memories. It would just be life-changing. It's a game-changer.

It is a game-changer. That's right. Well, you could take it off your to-do list for 12 months, that list that says pay the mortgage or rent. Don't worry about it. We'll look after it. It would be such a good feeling. Well, you are in the draw.

Hopefully this afternoon, Brad and Laura pull out your name and you can get one of the five keys. Fingers crossed. Thank you so much. Okay, now try and not make any more human beings and try and not make any more puppies, okay, in the foreseeable future. That is the plan.

You have a great day, great weekend. Good luck, all right? Spy. Know what's up. Spy.co.nz Peddling some half-truths and a little bit of misinformation. It's our friend Jew with Spy.

So Alan's final show is on the 26th of May and... Feels like that's been going, her final show for a long time. It's been a long runway. Yeah. Hasn't it? Yes. About 12 months it feels like we've been gearing up for her final show. Just tell me when the final show is and I'll be interested

then. Because it's Alan's final season, right? Yeah. So she has got an incredible lineup of guests that will be on that last show. Michelle Obama, Jennifer Garner, Channing Tatum, Serena Williams, Adam Levine, Kim Kardashian, and way more. The things I wouldn't do to have those guests on. I'll do some despicable acts to get those people on the show. Yeah, I know.

I wouldn't even want to broadcast what I do. Well, Alan has, according to you. According to you. Now, we'll put this story in for you, because you know for months you've been mocking Alan and the rumours around her behind the scenes. Her bullying, yeah. Her ruthless bullying.

I'll be like, hey, this is this. This is what Alan's doing. So she's going to be paying millions of dollars worth of bonuses to staff after the show. Hush money. Hush money. To say thank you. Yeah, thank you for not

knocking me out. Millions of dollars out of it. She can't even do that and you're still on her case. It's a lovely gesture. Yeah, it is. And it's over her tenure she has hosted over 4,000 guests

and has distributed nearly half a billion dollars worth of giveaways. Half a billion dollars of total of the gifts that she's given away. It's one heck of a career. It is a hell of a career, isn't it?

So she's giving millions of her own money for bonuses to staff. I would say it's company money. I don't know. I don't know the details. It doesn't feel like she'd dip into her own pockets. If I know. Well, you don't know, Alan, but you've said a lot for someone who doesn't know,

Alan. Either or, the staff are getting bonuses and that's gross. I reckon she's going to go well done guys I've taken millions of dollars of my own money you're going to get bonuses she's going to hand them an envelope they'll open the envelope and be like not. Psych. She's not going to do that. Speaking of amazing giveaways

Monday we can't wait to do this. Someone is going to be getting their rent and mortgage paid for an entire year Monday morning. It's an amazing prize. It's all thanks to oneroof.co.nz. Have a great weekend. We'll catch you on Monday. Jono and Ben, brought to you by Resene, New Zealand's most trusted paint.

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