Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: Who got road rage?

Episode Date: June 17, 2022

The business end of our Smell-Election with the quarterfinals. We catch up with our Hollywood Insider Enty and Urzila Carlson comes in for a chat about her upcoming tour and makes us laugh, as usual. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits with the Jono and Ben podcast. G'day, 2-2-2-2-2. That's what you do when you're just testing a microphone. 2-2-2-2-2. Yeah, check 1-2-1-2 is what people say. You hear them say? I feel like we've had this conversation before and we researched it. It's fallen out of my brain why it is.

Because you do research things and you're like, I'll never forget that. That'll come up. It's so handy at barbecues and social settings where you're like if i come out with this fact why do they say check one two and the microphone when we say one we naturally produce a low frequency and when we say two it's in the higher thus two one two producing the high vocal and the low vocal you don't do it the other way around do you so yeah the microphone's tested at the different frequencies lovely isn't it

sometimes people go testies don't they it's always a little gag testies testies what are you doing this weekend going to the rugby this weekend looking forward to that it's going to be a sell out crowd I've sold out I'm going to the rugby no I sold out last weekend? Going to the rugby this weekend. Looking forward to that. It's going to be a sellout crowd. I've sold out.

I'm going to the rugby. No, I sold out last weekend. I went to a corporate box. Yeah, so what do you... Now, tell me how you smooch your way into a corporate box. What did you do? Who did you sleep with to get into a corporate box? No, just some friends that were going,

and I was meeting up with them for a drink because we'd got tickets, and they went, oh, guess what? These other people can't make it anymore. Can you come? Would you like to come along? Is that an on-the-spot surprise? It was.

Last week it was. The week before it was a couple of hours of like a, do you want to come to the corporate box? But there it was on the spot. It was like, yes, yes, I do. Problem is you've had the corporate taste. You've tasted those delicious spring rolls or mini sausage rolls that are on offer there. Now you're slumming it this weekend. I imagine it would be like going to first class in a plane and then having to go back

to, you know, the weekend after. You're like, oh. Tell me about it. What's in there? What's in the corporate area? Oh, you know. Are there corporates? There was the first week.

It was definitely corporates. A lot of corporates. Yeah, it was corporates. What's the food like? Food's great. You know, all sorts of. Cold meats? Oh, yeah.

You can make hot ham rolls. I took a full ham, remember, from the Warriors, the corporate box. That was the only other time I'd been to a corporate box. And at the end of the night, they had a full ham sitting there. And I was like, hey, I was the last one in there, because that's what you do when you're not in the corporate box that often. So what's happening with that? The guy said, take it.

So I put it in my backpack. You took a leg of ham home in a backpack. So what was the reaction from the family when you got home and you slowly revealed a leg of ham from your backpack and like, look what I got, hunter gatherer. Yeah, I felt like, because I, you know, like for someone like, let's say Clark Gaifert, he goes off fishing, fishing the day. He comes home and be like, look what I've got.

Just underneath, you know, a bevy of all of the greatest foods from the ocean. Look what I got. Well, this is my opportunity. Normally it's like, hey, I got this T-shirt from work today. It's a Bunnings Warehouse T-shirt. Yeah, something like that. But this was an occasion I could go, hey, guess what?

We will feast. We shall feast. I have provided for my family. What is it? It's a ham. Slightly nibbled at and picked at from a corporate box. How many people have been

hacking away at this ham for the last... Oh, a lot. But anyway, it's all right. Are you worried about bacteria? They just want to be sitting there in room temperature for... Not at the time, and not for the next couple of days. That was a lot of fun. Hey, we're coming down to the business end of our smell election,

so we get into the final rounds of what is New Zealand's favourite smell, and we try and bribe someone from Canterbury to say, I love Auckland. I love the Auckland Blues. I would do this. For $100? Yeah, like I'd say, I love Australia.

You know, the Australian cricket team. But obviously very staunch in what you love about Canterbury supporters. Enjoy that on the podcast. This is the Jono and Ben podcast. Wall-to-wall talking without the niggly popular songs in between. We've got a very exciting show coming up, don't we? A lot of guests. A lot of guests, Ben. Too many guests. Carlson, comedian, as well

as David Letalli, who of course you know from Dancing with the Stars. And crossing live to Hollywood as well with Entity, who's got the inside word on Beaver's paralysis down half of his face. Yeah, his face has got a virus or something. Yeah, wild stuff. Yesterday, Ben, I was the victim, the innocent victim of road rage.

I don't know if you, anyway, no, I'll hear the story. I won't jump to conclusions, but I have driven with you before, as I said before, and that's terrifying. I love the road because it's a wonderful melting pot of society. Everyone from New Zealand is on the road at some point. And, you know, you come into interactions with other people. And for some reason you feel like you can get away with so much more in your car. You know, you've got so much more bravado.

It's like Paddy Gower on six beers. You feel confident. For some reason, I don't know. You know, people are doing, you do all sorts in your car. You're picking your nose. Yeah, you forget that people can see you. Yeah. There's like a lot of windows.

So what happened yesterday was an incident with another motorist. He was an elderly gentleman. And he got angry. He got frustrated at me for some innocent reason. What were you doing? Be honest. What were you doing? Be honest. What were you doing? I was driving down the wrong way at the motorway.

No. And I was like, buddy, we all make mistakes. Might have gone one way. No, he was kind of stopped in the middle of the road. So I tried to go around him. And then as I went around him, he started to turn in. And he looked at me. And you do that universal thing.

Both your windows are up on your cars but you're trying to communicate with each other through cars that are closed so you can't hear with over exaggerated actions like you're part of the wiggles or something you got your arms going yeah yeah and everyone what i love too about road rangers everyone has exactly the same what the hell are you doing buddy face you know it's kind of like your eyes are scrunched up you got your mouth open going you know and he was doing that to me and i was doing that to him we're both going what are you doing buddy but no one can we can't hear each other yeah um and what happened next is he tried to wind down his window i get

scared of confrontation. I thought, well, this is leveling up. So I just drove off. Oh, so you didn't even hear him say anything, did you? No, I could see it fist out the window sort of waving. Sort of waving. Have you ended up with, have you been road raged yet? No, I'm definitely not.

You know, like I've never road raged at anyone. But have I had people upset? Well, well if i do it's the sorry sorry sorry approach for me you know like it's everything he's got his funny uh the hazard lights on even if you're not in the wrong i'll still take it yeah i'm again i don't like champagne but what i like too is he felt like and i don't want to i don't want to throw stones he felt like the type of motorist who gets in their car and just drives around waiting to be angry at people. Do you know those ones? Sort of the elderly. Again, don't want to stereotype, but I love the ones that put on the indicator and then

you don't know when they're going to turn, but at some stage in the next 10 minutes. Because they forgot they put on the indicator. They're either going to turn or not. Spy. Know what's up. Spy.co.nz. Listen, Bell Crawford's away today, but these people, they're rich, they're famous, and for some reason that makes it okay for us to discuss their private lives.

What's happening, Ben? A lot of great movies out at the moment, and another one from Disney Pixar, Buzz Lightyear, which is kind of like the origin story of the Space Ranger that we know from the Toy Story movies. If you went and saw Buzz Lightyear. Yeah, took my Toy Story backpack along. Jeez, they're so good, those Disney Pixar movies, and drawing on your emotions. Yeah.

Oh, like, there's so many of those movies that I've cried in. I feel like lesser of an adult when I cry in those movies, but I do it every time. Yeah, and it's always like, this one in particular, like, I won't spoil the whole plot, but he gets stranded on this planet, and then he's trying to get off it, and then the space rocket, Buzz Lightyear.

And every time, because he's flying so fast, every time he goes away and comes back he's lost like years of his life and everyone's getting older and older and older every time he tries to get them off you know because he's trying to find a way off this planet and you're like watching these people so you know you're like oh the life's slipping away can i just take you back to the toy story 4 backpack which you know the highly discussed toy story 4 backpack which you do have you use every day why were you taking your backpack to the movies? What was in your backpack? Oh, when you've got kids, you end up having to take jackets and a drink bottle and all sorts of stuff like that.

Were you secretly hoping that someone from Disney went, Hey, that's an old Toy Story 4 backpack. You need the new Buzz Lightyear backpack. It'd be like a space rocket pack or something. That would be awesome. It didn't happen. But the movie Buzz Lightyear Has been banned In 14 Up to 14 countries

Throughout Asia And the Middle East Because it has A same sex kiss In it And a relationship In there as well So the movie also stars

Taika Waititi Which is really cool But not that cool That it's been abandoned In all these countries as well Crazy that's still going on In the world Who's doing the kissing?

Like the Like who works with She works with Buzz She's like His best friend and stuff so yeah she's in a role

yeah and it's like it's crazy that it's not getting played and even China one of the world's biggest markets doesn't seem like

it's going to play the movie because of that which is it's ludicrous it's very sad and another movie that's coming out very soon

soon it's called Barbie and Ken Margot Robbie's playing Barbie and yesterday they released the first pictures

of Ryan Gosling playing Ken oh I thought that was like a gag no he's playing Ken I and yesterday they released the first pictures of Ryan Gosling playing Ken. Oh, I thought that was like a gag. No, he's playing Ken. I saw it. He looks amazing. He's got platinum blonde hair.

He's looking very tanned. He's got a little waistcoat, open shirt thing, six-pack abs. He's looking incredible, isn't he? He plays a great Ken. Will Ferrell's in it as well. Dua Lipa pop star. So it's coming out next year. It's the story of Barbie and Ken.

It's called Barbie yeah and he looks amazing I always liked taking my daughter Poppy she had a few Barbie things in the Barbie the hot pink Barbie car and I always liked

putting old Barbie and all her mates in compromising positions I can imagine that's what you do remember like a friend of ours went to like a Barbie party for her mates like it was's what you do. Remember like a friend of ours went to like a Barbie

party for her mates like it was her hen's do. They were like we're having a Barbie party and she was like this is exciting so she dressed up

full like the Barbie like you would see Margot Robbie in the movie. She had the sash, she had the high heels, she had platinum blonde

hair, I think she had a wig, everything. Turned up for this Barbie party for the hen's do and it was just a Barbie like as in a

barbecue and everyone's standing around in like jandals and shorts and stuff. she's coming like looking like legally blonde but to be fair to our friend because i know who you're talking about who calls it a barbie party just drop some hints that you're going to be sizzling meat on a barbecue. And not dressed up like Barbie. John Owen Ben's General Smell Election. Yeah, pitting the world's greatest smells against each other in a tournament. And it has been a wild ride, Ben Boyce.

I don't want it to end. I want it to keep going. It's been a lot of fun, eh? We're in the middle of the quarterfinals. Another big round. A couple of big rounds happening after 7 o'clock this morning. But yesterday, who went through? Bacon.

Bacon and the smell of KFC. They both knocked. KFC was taking on freshly cut firewood. Sorry, you've been burnt. And bacon taking on petrol. Sorry, you're becoming irrelevant quite quickly. So, yeah. So the smells.

I mean, the smells of things cooking and food, particularly bacon and KFC. You can see why they've gone through the next round. Who are you picking for the final? I think we're going to get the smell of KFC taking on the smell of a baby. Oh, you reckon? The smell of bacon. Have you put bacon on that baby? Imagine a baby smelling, a bacon smelling baby.

Just be magnificent. So that's going to be happening after 7 o'clock. We've got more rounds coming up. But Ben, yesterday I tried my hardest after extensive research to get into a bit of a different angle on the tournament and present, you know, we're celebrating the world's best smells, but celebrate the, you know, acknowledge some of the worst ones. And I went to my friend Science.

I got them to do some research. And Ben wouldn't even let me finish this yesterday. He thought I was going for some lowbrow comedic fodder. It sounded like you did. You slapped science in the face, mate. Yeah, you did. So what I was trying to get to yesterday was one of the worst smells in the world, Uranus.

The planet? Yeah, I see what you're... Not yours. Yeah, I know. Like I said yesterday, yours smells like the way the Americans say it, because they're like Uranus. Uranus. Okay, well I could say Uranus. Somehow yours. Yeah. Like I said, you say yours smells like a... This is why I like the way the Americans say it, because they're like Uranus is what they say. Okay, well, I could say Uranus. Somehow that makes it sound even worse. It actually sounds like you've got some sort of infection or something.

Uranus, whatever makes you happy. Yeah. Because of the hydrogen sulfide. Science has been... Who's been up there? Like, who is... Science, mate. Science.

Okay. So apparently it does smell like a petrol station toilet. Can I say one of the worst smells in the world, and you'll probably know this as well, is dog poo. When you stand in dog poo. Oh, yeah. Remember what happened in the office

when Megan, who does the three-bed pick-up, she bought a dog. Lovely Megan, bought her dog, and she's working in another station. It's a big office floor, big space. Ben managed to stand on exactly the one small

travel it right through but it was just that smell we're all sitting around going what is that funky smell it's an unsettling familiar smell yeah no one wants it the other thing that

science got into apparently there's this flower which is the official flower of Indonesia the stinking corpse lily. Apparently it just smells like rotting flesh, fish, and

sweaty socks. The smell of a 17-year-old boy's bedroom. And also, did you want to know, the vu bolung, the vu bolung, which is a cheese, the smelliest cheese on earth. So smelly that science...

Again, science, yeah. Science had to invent an electric nose. This electric nose was the only thing... Come on, science. We've got COVID science. There's a lot of things we really should be focusing on. But the electric nose was the only thing that can smell this cheese. It also picks out urinary tract infections,

this electric nose as well. So it could be used on urinus as well. And what else was there? And the inside of the bin. The bin, I always find the one of the worst smells is that whatever seeps through into your bin. Even if you've got a bag in there, that thing seeps through.

There's always this weird liquid at the bottom of the bin. You're like, gee, what is that? A combination of all sorts of horrible stuff. Very toxic. Do you wash out your bin. Even if you've got a bag in there, the thing sinks through. There's always this weird liquid at the bottom of the bin. You're like, gee, what is that? A combination of all sorts of horrible stuff. Very toxic. Do you wash out your bin? Yeah, I do when you see

that weird liquid. I thought that'd be a great business. Go around with a water blaster. You're the bin washer. You know, every week you just need to have clients. You go,

I've got a water blaster on the back of the truck. On rubbish day when the thing's been emptied, wash it out. That's a good business. You could do that, mate, with the radio career. Joel, who's with us today, you're nodding

your head. You like that idea? Oh, yeah. Living in a flat as well in a bin situation is pretty bad, so I'll be your first client, Johnno. It'd be cool. Been there, done that. It's got a pun. Radio's not going to be around forever. Exactly. Here's the news in association

with our partners, the internet. Thank you for letting us copy and paste everything. Now, actor Tom Hanks, one of the nicest guys in Hollywood. He's been starring in this year's, one of this year's biggest movies coming out next week called Elvis. And he was enjoying a night out yesterday with his wife, actor Rita Wilson. And they were sort of mobbed as they were coming out of a restaurant in New York. Fans rushed. Maybe it was paparazzi as well.

There was a whole lot of people around them. And as she was sort of walking to the car, she kind of stumbles, trips, and almost looks like she got knocked over. And he wasn't too happy about this. Have a listen. Whoa, whoa, wait. Stop it. What are you doing?

Back the f*** off. What are y'all doing? What do you want? Keep walking. Knock it over my wife. Yeah, they're bugging. Sorry. Sorry about that. What are you doing? Back the f*** off. What are y'all doing? What do you want? You are crazy, bro. Knock it over my wife. Yeah, they're bugging. Sorry. Sorry about that.

They're bugging out. Come on, man. A lot of commentary. Sorry about that, Tom. Come on, man. Come on. A lot of people apologising. A lot going on.

Tom Hanks looked pretty fired up. Woody got angry. Yeah. Woody got angry. He was very protectiveective but as I understand you know apparently the next thing he did is went and

slapped Chris Rock oh jeez for no reason I love that story that Tom Hanks he's meant to be a lovely gentleman and he met a couple

at a gas station and they were like hey we're big fans we just saw your movie and he was like what did you think and they were like eh not that great

and he's like oh you didn't like it and they're like nah it wasn't one of your best ones and he gave them 25 bucks what it cost them to go to the movies just to reimburse them for the movie and they were like, eh, not that great. And he's like, oh, you didn't like it? And they're like, no, it wasn't one of your best ones. And he gave them $25, what it cost them to go to the movies, just to reimburse them for the movie. So I thought it was really nice.

It is nice. But again, just say you liked the movie. Why be honest about it? Don't be honest to Tom Hanks. We like you, but it wasn't one of your better movies. Tom Hanks came in here and Toy Story 5 was an absolute crapper. Hey, hey. No, I'm just saying, hypothetical.

Okay, good. If he came in here, he's like, what did you think of the movie? And I'd been bagging it out to you for the last five days. I don't know, I loved it, Tom. You're true. You know, lie. Yeah, you were. That's why they invented lying. Travelling is back on the agenda for many Kiwis.

And there's also the age-old excuse, right? The dog ate my homework. Well, it was kind of true in a way. For a Christchurch couple, now, the night before they were about to go to fiji uh their long awaited trip to fiji um they were meant to be at the airport at four o'clock they were like hey we need to find our passports is one of the things you do at the last minute and the guy found his passport uh but unfortunately the dog had been using it as a chew toy for about the last two years it was very mangled the dog at the photo looks very similar to a mini version of my dog.

Yeah. So you can kind of understand. So for two years he didn't notice his passport was being chewed up. Well, I guess, yeah. I guess he had no idea that he hadn't been

travelling in that time. But they ended up, the people in Christchurch at the last minute managed to get him a new passport. The security team helped out. It was pretty incredible.

They got it through. But it cost them over $1,000 to get the new passport. Nothing would be more stressful than turning up to the airport realising you forgot your passport. That would just be the worst. Hasn't the travel thing changed now?

We don't need to get tested to travel back into New Zealand? Yes, that's just changed. It was changing as of next week because that was the other thing. On the 20th, 11.59. I think some places you still have to test before you go, depending on everyone's a different year. But I think the story is vaccinated or unvaccinated New Zealand citizens can just fly in and out at their will.

Geez, we let that whole thing get away on us, didn't we? The vaxxed and unvaxxed. Remember that? Yeah. Now you're like, oh, what? Listen, can everyone just apologize to each other for what happened back there? Yeah, things got a wee way on us. Oh, the anti-vaccine.

Yeah. Oh, my God. We've got to look back at this time we're gonna get embarrassed 20 years ago they're gonna be mocking us in the future oh yeah we got look at these idiots how they acted fired up about so many things we apologize in advance geez sorry sorry about that sorry you got roped into this sorry on the hits. There's a new player launched in the food box market. This one's designed to give back. It's called Fresh First Food Box, and they've teamed up with David Letelli, who was on a course on Dancing with the Stars.

Former boxer who fought under the name Butterbean now does amazing work in the community with Butterbean Motivation Food Bank. Yeah, what are you doing in the community apart from being a pest? Oh, yeah, not as much as this man, that's for sure. Yeah, David Letelli, good morning. How's it going, boys? Oh, great to hear from you, buddy.

Thanks, bro. You've been busy. I guess you're always busy, but seeing you a lot on TV, not only Dancing with the Stars, but talking on Paddy Gower's show. Yeah, it's great to get these mainstream platforms that I really try and utilise it to speak about the issues that our communities face, you know,

and a lot of people just are still unaware. Well, we're talking about something that is, you know, flipping it into something positive, what you're doing. Positive, positive. Butterbean Motivation Food Bank have teamed up with a really cool initiative, Fresh Food Box. It's kind of, you kind of can pay it forward by getting these boxes, right? Yeah, look, there's so many people doing it forward by getting these boxes, right? Yeah, look, there's so many people doing it tough, as we said,

and Fresh have come along and we're collaborating with them to buy one, give one model. And it's amazing food. And the Fresh Box that you're getting, Fresh Food Box, it's got five meals. It's got a video where you can watch for each meal so you don't have to read anything. No one's got time to read, but you can watch a video. It's a TikTok generation.

You've lost me after 15 seconds. That's right. And you can feel good while you're eating the good, healthy food, and it's tasty, and then you can also feel even better knowing that by you buying one, you're helping another family to eat some nice food as well. Now, just because people will know you from Dancing with the Stars as well and BBM is spoken of, but the organization's had such an interesting journey

because it started out as sort of a fitness program for the community, right? And it's bloomed out into this huge project where you're feeding families, you're helping with financial planning and everything. Yeah, we started out really, it was so organic. I started out as a boxer. Well, I tried to be a Yeah, we started out really, it was so organic. I started as a boxing, well, I tried to be a boxer, but I played like a bad guy, like a character. I was 210 kilos, and along the way I lost weight because I was fighting on Joseph Parker cards.

I got a lot of, people were seeing me lose weight. So we started really just out of boot camps. I helped one person. In South Auckland, we helped the one person in a driveway in Papataui. You know, and now it's just launched into it. Really, it's a genuine movement, you know, where people belong to something positive. We have youth programs. We have a community kitchen.

We have a food share. You know, we're opening a gym in Tokoro as well as a really exciting announcement in Tokoro coming up soon. It's a community. Like society used to be where everyone was there for each other. That's what we're bringing back. It's amazing because I know you came from, you had a rough upbringing, David. And for you to be where you are now, it must just be surreal at times from where you started to where you've ended up. Yeah.

When I think back, you know, I mean, my father was the president of the Mongol mob, the Auckland chapter. You know, he was a bank robber, a drug dealer. I come from that background. But for me to be where I am now, that's why it's so important to get on, you know, the hits and to get on different shows, because it shows youth that are going through similar struggles that I did that it's possible to get out. You can do it, but you have to work hard. I always like seeing people who are doing what they should be doing. And you're in the position of life where you've reached your calling.

Do you find that? Yeah, I truly believe that I'm here. This is my purpose. This is the reason I'm on this earth is to help people. That's all I think about waking up and how can I help someone. You know, there were so many people, or not so many. There was a few people at the start of my journey that gave me a hand up. And I'm paying it forward, but, you know, along with my team and BBM,

but on a huge scale. Oh, that's awesome. Hundreds of thousands. But just before I go, we've got a special just for the hits. Yep. For the Fresh First Food Box. If you put in the coupon HITS30, you get another $30 off.

So it only becomes, what's that, $129. Wow. And then another box will be donated to BBM. Donated to someone else. That's awesome. Yep. Another box will come to BBM and we'll donate it out to the family.

It's an awesome thing you're doing. You're doing such great work and this is a great initiative as well. The Fresh Food Box, you can get all the details at fresh.co.nz. Order a box and as Badamim was saying, you can get a box delivered to someone else as well, which is a really awesome thing. Nice. Thanks so much, boys. Jono and Ben's Rush for Gold.

Gold Rush with George Ezra. George Ezra's got a new album, Gold Rush Kid. You know George Ezra. We'll give away his sheets when he comes here. He's had some huge hits in the past, Butterfest, Shotgun, and right now he's got a very, very awesome new album, Gold Rush Kid, and you can register at the hits.co.nz. Each morning we'll have someone parked outside,

someone who's registered his house, and you've got 60 seconds when we start the timer to come outside and meet the Hits team to win what is now $400. Yeah, yeah, can forget giving us a restraining order because we will give you cash in return bribe money to hush.

Hamo is on from Tauranga from the Hits. How are you Hamish? Good morning, I am good, I'm good. Lovely, jeez you've got a crystal clear voice. What a voice. Oh, thank you much Lee. Geez, you've got a crystal clear voice. What a voice. Oh, thank you much, Lee. Yeah, you should get into radio. Yeah, you're better than us.

Listen to our Weasley voices. People like this. You're like this. Yeah, they should be doing our job. You should be. You should come up here and replace me, mate. Probably will be in six weeks. Oh, never.

Okay, Hamish. You're outside someone's house and every morning this week we've been making poor young Gen Zers get up early and sift outside listeners' houses. Whose place are you outside? It is very early.

I am outside Tanya Coltman's house somewhere in Pies Par. And I can say it's looking like a good situation. There's a couple of cars in the driveway and there is a light on. Tanya Poulton pies par. Come out and tell us if Hamish's voice is matched by his good looks.

Your 60 seconds starts now. Here we go. Usually you get quite suspicious when there's a car hanging outside your house, don't you? There's a few cars. Turn around in your driveway and stuff. You're like, what's going on? What's going on?

You get very defensive when someone pulls into your driveway. Any movement so far? No, I hear nothing. There's still a light on, but there's nothing. Yeah, I'm just walking up the steps at the moment. Tanya, we're giving you $400 just for waking up and functioning at 7 o'clock in the morning. If you're washing yourself, come out. We don't care.

Wrap a dressing gown around you. We don't care if your hair's still soapy and foamy. We've got 30 seconds to go. What's the weather like this morning? Let's get a little weather report. It's a bit overcast. It's a bit nippy. I've got frost coming out of my breast, but that's all good.

That's all good. We're here. Jesus, we're that desperate. We've resorted to weather filler. I just thought, you know, a sense of what is going on. That wasn't all desperate. filler i just thought there's still no movement a sense of what is going on five four three two come on come on no oh tanya unfortunately for tanya uh she didn't quite claim that 400 today so that means it jackpots again on a monday and that means what you just did for us is uh was totally redundant so thanks thanks, Hayden.

Oh, good. I love my job anyway. Good to hear from you boys. Oh, good. Andy loves his job. Hamish, you're a great guy. Thank you very much. Sorry, I called him Hayden as well.

No worries. Ben called you Hayden. It's a classic power play. Yeah, I'll do it to all. Yeah, all the big dogs in radio do it. Get your name wrong. Just trying to put him in his place, are you, Ben? Yeah, exactly.

Think he's going to come in here with his nice voice? I'm worried he's going to take over my job, that's for sure. All right, Stephen. Work it out. Hey, have yourself a great day. Thanks for doing that this morning. All good. Love your work, mate.

Spilling the tea on Hollywood's A-listers. Kardashians. I have met every single one. Exposing scandals. Because she's not a good person, but either is he. Digging the dirt. Is she a diva? Yes. And finding out what's going on behind the scenes yelling at cast members yes it was a script no his identity is a secret but his stories have been proven right time and time

again this is empty he handles the scandals for us shambles. Enty from Hollywood, come on down. Quite the rhyme. Does the novelty of living in Hollywood wear off? Like the glitz and the glamour and all that sort of stuff? Yeah, because you don't really see it when you're living it day to day necessarily. Even something like, let's say the Oscars or whatever, the day they go on. Even if you're living in town and you're, you know, and I live in an area that's very close to where like they'll get ready and stuff like that.

But it just, you don't really see it. You have to make yourself, otherwise you could be six blocks away and not even know anything was going on. Is it a nice place to live? Oh, that's a good question you know i i i mean you have to it's so expensive and there is a uh a large population that feels like every year grows larger that's homeless and then you how you combine that with you know three miles away or two miles away people are billionaires and so you go okay this maybe

isn't the the best environment or whatever but i mean i i love the city i mean it just gets in your blood it's kind of like when people who live in new york or whatever they never want to leave that was one thing we did notice because we've been there for work briefly uh once or twice and you do notice the absolute wealth and the absolute poverty and it can always be like from a block away you can go from a really really lovely place to the next street over, not quite as nice. Yeah, and I just read today that L.A. is, if you're a first-time homebuyer, it's the most expensive place in America to try and do that.

So then it just makes it more difficult. You know, more people don't have homes. And it's just something that kind of needs to be done. But at the same time i love it and now enti uh bieber very it was quite confronting footage half his face has been paralyzed thanks to a virus have you heard any more from that no but it's it's really interesting that he has this ram the hunt virus or whatever first of all supposedly caused by you know if you get chicken pox or whatever that stays but i would think that he's young enough where he would have been vaccinated against

the chicken pox. So I guess he wasn't. I mean, if that's what it really is. But it's also odd that he, you know, that that Haley had her issue a couple months ago with the stroke. And then Justin has. Yeah. And then Justin has had a number of i mean he's had uh lyme disease when everybody said oh he looks like he's on meth all of a sudden he goes well no no i've just been battling lyme disease for for quite a while or whatever and he also had the epstein-barr virus um he uses an oxygen chamber and then of course you know he's been very candid about his mental health and he says that he does take medications with that so did he mix the medication did he take something

wrong is he still be you know using drugs and alcohol which he he acknowledged before so we don't have to use alleged on here um and he said he said at one point that you know his security was coming in once an hour to check on him at night just to make sure he wasn't dead because of all the drugs and alcohol. And he's been, I guess the other way you can look at it too, he has been overworked since the age of 13 and 14. Yeah, and that's

his last tour. Remember, he stopped. He said, I'm done. I'm not doing it anymore. And he walked away from it. And he still had a lot of dates left. But that's when he was doing a lot of, you know, doing the drugs and the alcohol and everything. So he doesn't like touring. I get the feeling that he just, you know, that he likes it for a little while.

He should do something like Taylor Swift has done where, and I don't know if he can quite pull it off anymore, but like a stadium tour where, you know, you get, go to 12 stadiums and just get it over with. Get the same number of people you would have done if you'd gone to like 50 cities. That's a good name for the tour too, called Get It Over With. Justin Bieber, Get It Over With, Get It Done. Ante, thank you so much for your time. Always great to catch up with you and we'll hear from you

next week from Hollywood. Hey, stay warm you guys. It's Jono and Ben's General Smell Election. Looking for New Zealand's best of smell. We're at quarter final time and it's a big matchup. Quarter final three. Freshly

washed baby versus coffee brewing. Freshly washed baby Versus coffee brewing Freshly washed baby This is the big guns This is the big leagues today This is Nadal taking on Federer Paddy Gow taking on booze Will Smith slapping Chris Rock

Another topical reference What about the Crusaders taking on the booze? What about the Crusaders taking on the booze? But Ben Boyce Baby, a freshly washed baby references what about the crusaders take on the blues yeah yeah uh but ben boyce baby a freshly washed baby taking on the smell of freshly brewing coffee oh you know we've been big backers of the freshly washed baby through the whole competition right haven't we but do you know what i'm gonna i'm like i know i'm gonna go with coffee brewing because i in the morning when i get up i don't I don't crave a freshly washed baby.

And you wouldn't say that out loud if you did. No. No. Oh, yeah, that sounded quite weird, didn't it? The smell of a freshly washed baby. I'm craving the coffee. So I'm thinking, I'm going to go coffee. I've changed.

It's more important to your life. He's a turncoat. He's like all these blue supporters turning up this weekend, selling out the stadium. Yeah, but yesterday you made a call to the baby factory. Oh, the wonderful Heidi. And we put this to her. Now, bearing in mind, she's the cold face of fresh-smelling babies.

But what would she prefer? Jono and Ben from the Hits radio station. No, it's not. I wish I could prove by having Ben here, but he's not here at the moment. There's only one half of us. I absolutely love you and Ben. I've got goosebumps, my dear. I don't know how true this is.

Why are you ringing? Listen, we're in the middle. You would have heard about our smell action. No. It hasn't reached the baby factory? It hasn't reached the baby factory? It hasn't reached the baby factory. We are doing New Zealand's greatest smell, and the smell of a freshly washed baby...

Is a beautiful smell. A beautiful smell, you can't deny it, is now taking on the smell of coffee brewing. I don't know which one I do prefer. Yeah, I know. I really like coffee. That's the thing, we're in the semis, baby. It's the big time.

Oh, but does this mean my job's on the line if I pick the coffee? There's times where you prefer coffee over babies. But we love babies. We just don't like them when they grow up. But sometimes you need the coffee to look after the babies. Okay, Jono, what am I picking? I'm going to go baby. The freshly washed baby.

I'm going to go baby. You can't beat that smell. That is an amazing smell. Yeah, I know. Eventually they do grow up and they start smelling weird, don't they? I think that's why we keep having babies, just to get that youthful smell. Yeah, what is it about the smell for you? Oh, I don't know.

It's just that freshness of youth and life. Do you find when working at the baby factory so many babies would come in do you just find you just start smelling them or is that not part of the protocol? No, no, you do walk past slightly and stand over and pretend oh very cute and take a good sniff. So good. So her vote

Heidi's vote's in for a freshly washed baby. What is your vote going to be in for? Do you like the smell of a freshly washed baby or the smell of coffee brewing? 4487 is our text. The smell election will continue until we have a winner. We'll find that next week. Scrolling through your feed. What we lack in journalism skills.

We certainly don't make up for in good looks and charisma, Ben. What's going on in scrolling? Well, very exciting weekend this weekend. There's going to be a sold-out crowd for the rugby final. The Blues taking on the Crusaders at Eden Park. The first time the fixture is going to be, Eden Park's going to be sold out since the Bledsoe Cup test last August.

Pretty cool to see 50,000 people after all the COVID restrictions in the last few years. Amazing, and so good for the Blues to go for probably seven really tough years, I imagine, for the team, morale, different coaching staff to finally end up here, and to see all the fans that weren't there for the last seven years miraculously appear at the finish line this Saturday.

Do you think you're as a player they're running out going, oh, I see. First thing I'd do if I was the captain, I'd be like, hold on, can I just grab the mic? And I'd just take the field, I'd be like, where were you all, all of you sons of, you know, for the last seven the field I'd be like where were you all all of you sons of you know for the last seven years

four years ago where were you all I was like it's great to have you here don't get me wrong but you know a bit more consistency with the attendance

would have been nice the last time the Blues won was 2003 when Carlos Spencer was playing jeez I love him he was like my idol Carlos Spencer

I loved him I even had the hair he had short hair and it sort of pushed it forward I was like trying to rock that skull. He was kind of a bit ahead of his time, you know,

being a flamboyant, fashionable rugby player. Oh, the Crusaders fans didn't like him. Oh, what's he up to? Bloody blue trickers. Yeah, keep your original hair, yeah. Yeah, actually, the Crusaders, I don't know if it's still the same. I presume it is. Their hatred towards Auckland and, you know,

their love-hate relationship with Auckland and the Blues. We're actually just saying We should do a social experiment We'll do it after 8 o'clock Okay We've got a hundred We'll phone Let's say Rangiora

North Canterbury You know The heartiest Of the hearty Crusaders supporters And we'll phone them And we'll say Can you just say

You love the Blues And then we'll keep going It'll be like Who wants to be a millionaire Or something I'll try and bribe them Bribe them up to Up to the value of $100.

Would a Canterbury supporter for $100 say they'll love the ball? Surely they would. We'll try it at 8 o'clock this morning. Cool thing is, if you go into the game this weekend, Auckland Transport is allowing ticket holders to the final to use buses and trains for free from 4 o'clock until the end of the season. But they'll give you parking tickets on your cars wherever you park those. And I think, you know, we're talking about the Blues turning the seasons around,

and I'd like to give you a lot of credit, because a few years ago we put you in a tackle bag for a little segment we did for Jono and Ben, the TV show. We put you in a... It didn't have a lot of padding, and you were out there, and we had the whole Blues team. Can I preface this with, like, I turned up, and I said, I don't have a good feeling about this.

The first thing I said when I showed up to the Blues show, I said... When you see the sides of them all lined up, and I said, Ben, I don't have a good feeling about this. The first thing I said when I showed him the blue shirt, I said, when you see the sides of them all lined up. And I said, Ben, I don't have a good feeling about this. Don't worry, mate. I think I went on a phone call to someone, one of the producers, and they're like, oh, we're here now. Oh, yeah, that's right. We're here now was the comment.

We're here now. We're here now. They just one tackle, and this is what happened. Oh, let's go. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh. Oh. I think I might have broken something bro really yeah seriously yeah something's definitely popped out and you're right you're a medical expert as well because you've got your collarbone and popped on out yeah not popped broken yeah snapped into

it snapped and we talked to agus Talva, who was all black, and he was playing for the Blues at the time. Remember we talked to him a couple of years ago, and he was like, oh, man, you made things real awkward. Yeah, he's like, oh, after we tackled it, it all got awkward. You were a down buzz. I was like, oh, yeah, I was a down buzz because my shoulder was hanging off. Yeah.

I got to get a pep talk from the great Sir John Kilwood, though. He was coaching at the time, wasn't he? I love John Kilwood. He was a hero of mine, and he took me aside, and he was like, you've got to be a pep talk from the great Sir John Kilwood, though. He was coaching at the time, wasn't he? I love John Kilwood. He's a hero of mine. And he took me aside and he was like, you've got to be there for your mate. His shoulder's popped out. He's going to need you now.

I'm like, oh, my God, John Kilwood's giving me a pep talk. So thank you, Jono, for one of the greatest moments of my life. And can I thank the Blues medical team for the tramadol as well on behalf of them. So, yeah, that was an experience. Good luck to both teams, though, this weekend. Rugby will be the winner at the end of the day, Ben. Well, yeah. That's what we say. So yeah, that was an experience. Good luck to both teams though this weekend. Rugby will be the winner at the end of the day, Ben. Well, yeah.

That's what we say. Maybe the Crusaders or the Blues. But it's so good. So good for New Zealand to get behind a game like this. It's exciting. It's been a long time. Saturday night, 7 o'clock, it kicks off at Eden Park. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

Five words for 5K. You're just five words away from $5,000. See if we can get another winner in our game where we give away $5,000. We try and match all five words with your five words in a simple game of word association. And if I could say five words right now, Ben, thank God it's Friday. Friday. Friday's two words. Yeah, yeah, you can do that.

I'm just spitting up. Yeah. Let's get Billy on from Fielding. How are you? G'day. How are you, guys? Great to have you on in friendly. Let's get Billy on from Fielding. How are you? G'day, how are you guys? Great to have you on in Friendly Fielding there, Billy. We always discuss this. Is there an obligation to always keep up the friendliness

when your town's called Friendly Fielding? No, because it comes naturally down here, mate. Oh, you don't even have to try. Now, you work at the Harley Davidson shop. Yes, I do. Can we start up a Harley? Are you there now? No, I'm not, mate.

No. Can you make the noise of a Harley-Davidson with your mouth? Look, as much as I'd love to, I won't embarrass the brand by doing that. Fair enough. It's a good brand. Let's see if we can get you $5,000. Who do you want to send into the soundproof booth? I'll send John over to that, please.

All right. All right. Heading on in. Making your mate motorbike noises and all that. Yeah. We'll get him into the soundproof booth? I'll send John over to the opening. All right, heading on in. Making your mate motorbike noises and all that. So we'll get him into the soundproof booth. Good option. All right, Billy. He's in there right now.

Here is your first word. It is Oprah. What pops into your head when you say Oprah? Winfrey. Yeah, Winfrey. It's what I was thinking too. Blues. Of course, very topical with the rugby game on this weekend.

Blues. Oh, see, I go Blues Clues. Oh, Blues Clues. Fair enough. Shattered. Shattered is the third word this morning. S-H-A-T-T-E-R-E-D. Shattered.

Glass. Shattered glass. Tears. T-E-A-R-S. Tears. Cry. Yeah, cry. You're playing a really goodR-S. Tears. Cry. Yeah, cry. You're playing a really good game here.

And pasta is the fine. Pasta, pasta, however you want to say it. Pasta. Lasagna. Lasagna. Hey, well played. Good quick game here this morning. We'll get Jono out of the soundproof booth

and we'll see if we can match you up $5,000. Good luck. Here he is. You're embarrassing the brand. You're embarrassing the brand. You're embarrassing the brand. Our brand, Jono and Ben. Let's take the word Jono. Okay, sorry, Billy.

I was just trying to get some cred, but I'm embarrassing our brand, apparently. You can't sit on the Harleys and make that noise either at the shop. That's embarrassing, too. Okay, the first word we said this morning to Billy was Oprah. What do you say we say Oprah? Oprah Winfrey. Yeah, well done. One from one, Bill.

Blues was the second word. Blues. Auckland Blues. Oh! What did you go? What did you go? I even didn't say topical to you, so I hoped that you're Blues Clues.

Oh, Blues Clues. Yeah, Blues Clues. Oh, left fielding, all right. Yeah, no, it makes sense. It makes sense on any other day. We always try and forget about the Blues, but not this weekend. Shattered was word three. Shattered glass.

Oh, yeah. Tears. Cry. Well done. Jeez, you're really nailing these other ones. And pasta. Spaghetti. Oh, my.

You guys played really well. Billy. Awesome. Thank you, guys. You will forever be in our hearts, Billy and Fielding. Thanks. Appreciate that. You guys have a great day You too, have a great weekend Found the ultimate work hack

Which we discovered yesterday And I think we've cracked the code For earning respect in In any industry you work in Yeah, because we start We obviously do the morning shift We start early here We come into work

And then we normally leave Around about lunchtime You know, that's normally it So that's our annual we've worked a full you know well i say work but it's it's right we sit here we say some words some of them make sense some don't been working for the what yeah what most people would work for a full day no we're required to come back in for uh just to host a thing for the sales team. It was in the afternoon, sort of 4.35. And as soon as you walk in the building, they're like, oh, you guys are working hard. Yeah, because you're at work.

And people, everyone that runs into you are like, oh my God, you guys are still here. You're still here, working hard. And every person we came into contact with, oh, you're still here. Gosh, you guys are hard workers. To be honest, we'd be home for like four or five hours. And so here is our hack, okay? You get to work early in the morning.

Not too early, but early enough that there's a decent amount of employees and colleagues that can notice that you're around the office. You disappear, okay? Go away. Come back just as everyone's about to wrap up for the day. Do a loop for a minute. Do some finger gunning. Keep it up, Smith. Check the printer or something.

Everyone's seen the A4 paper? You know, just a couple of things just to have that office banter. But a loop. It's an office loop. Make sure the people see you. We're out of milk. Grant, we're still open tomorrow for 10.30. That sort of stuff.

Just a few. And everyone thinks, jeez, that guy's working hard or that girl's working hard. Yeah, they beat their first thing and now they're still here. Make yourself known. You've got to make yourself known, though. This is crucial. You don't want to just sort of skulk in with your head down. It needs to be loud, proud.

Make your attendance known. It's like an impact player. First thing in the morning, later that day, and you don't even have to work in between yeah and then oh gee that legend's burning the candle at both ends and when it comes to time when there's cuts budget cuts they have to lose people they're like you can't fire boys why can't i fire boys he's the hardest worker in the room he's never not at home i don't even know if his how's his family life going But all you've done is a loop. You've done a loop. Just a loop.

Park outside. Leave the car running. Leave the ignition on. We're all like this. We've cracked it. We're like, we're going to come in every evening. We're going to come on weekends just for two or three minutes. Hey, guys, how are you? You know.

They're on the weekends. Sunday. They don't even work on Sunday. They're in here. Take a photo of yourself. Put it on social that you're in the office on Sunday. That's the code cracker. Our big weekend, as we keep saying for rugby this weekend,

it's awesome to see a sold-out stadium, 50,000 people, the Blues taking on the Crusaders in the final of the Super Rugby. Now you're saying they're selling, there's obviously all the seats are sold out, so now they're selling tickets on the field. Like a standing room section has just been announced. Seems like you're playing with fire there. I don't know if you're standing on the actual field. How many're selling tickets on the field like a standing room section has just been announced seems like you're playing with fire there like I don't know

if you're standing on the actual how many people are allowed on the field I'm not entirely sure but there's a few last minute I'm going to say seats

but they're not even seats you've got to stand but you are on the field so I don't know if you need to hand the players their water bottles or things massage any injuries

niggles on the calf muscles or anything like that who are you backing tomorrow night Ben boys go with the Blues you know been living here for a while now but Hurricanes are my team originally Any injuries, niggles on the calf muscles or anything like that? Who are you backing tomorrow night, Ben? Go with the Blues. I've been living here for a while now. But the Hurricanes are my team originally.

It's interesting. When the Blues rugby team starts going well, he'll declare that he's going to back the Blues. Whereas for years he's lived in Auckland. And he said, I'm originally from... Every time he's like, where do you live? I'm in Auckland, but I'm originally from Arsenal. He always sort of... I know, I know. I'm originally from Marston. Yeah, I know. He always sort of... I know, I know.

I'm originally from Marston. Disclaimer. Disclaimer. What would Marston think of you right now? Yeah, yeah. Marston don't think much of me, to be honest. You're on the wall of legends at the Lone Star? Yeah, but I think that was just padding out wall space, to be honest.

Now people will pass and go, who's that? They would, yeah. What? Who's this guy? What? Who's this guy? What? Who's this guy? I don't know. Must be someone to someone.

He might be dead or something. Crusaders, very passionate. One of the forefathers. That's what I love about, you know, I lived a few years in Christchurch, and I love the fans. They are very passionate. We even did something for a TV show a few years ago where one of us had to, you know, had to wear a sign that said Richie McCaw is a cheat because everyone loves a Richie McCaw.

And even when we'd say to people afterwards. They're even-tempered. They would have taken that well. 50-year-old ladies just abuse it. You're like, hey, it's for TV. They're like, I don't care. You shouldn't be doing this. They'll just tell you off because they love Richie McCaw.

Very defensive. Well, hopefully, because we're about to conduct a social experiment where we're going to try and get someone from Canterbury, Rangi or North Canterbury, to see if they'll say, I love the Auckland where we're going to try and get someone from Canterbury, Rangioa, North Canterbury, to see if they'll say, I love the Auckland Blues. Just going to call someone at random. Now, the last two years, if anything,

you'd hope that the team of five million that we've been brought closer together, that tensions have been... Auckland only threw that big lockdown for everyone. Remember that? Did it harder. Did it for Auckland. There was a time where the rest of the country

was like, just avoid Auckland like the plague. But hey, we've got a team of five million. You know, let bygones be bygones. Well, let's see if we can bribe a Crusaders fan in North Canterbury to say they love Auckland Blues. Let's make a call. Hayden speaking. Say you love the Auckland Blues.

Sorry? Say you love the Auckland Blues. Who is it? This is John O'Benn calling from the Hits radio station Is it really? It is, we want to see if you would say Being from Canterbury Hardened Rangiora, North Canterbury

Say you love the Auckland Blues Hell no You guys are dreaming $5 to say you love the Auckland Blues Nah, way more than $5. Oh, okay. Let's go $20. Nah.

Oh, $30. Oh, you're getting closer. Oh, okay. $50 to say you love the Auckland Blues. $50. Yeah, $50. So you're going to give me $50 right now? We'll give you $50.

We'll send it to you if you just say, I am Hayden, I'm from North Canterbury, and I love the Auckland Blues. That's the sentence. 50 bucks. Nah. I don't think that's worth getting your head kicked in, is it? 100 dollars. 100 bucks? 100 bucks? You're killing me.

We'll do it, Hayden. This is our final offer, though. It's not going anywhere. No. Can't do it. Can't do it. Hayden, we love your work. We're going to send you out some hell pizza. You don't have to say you love the Orca Blues with that, all right?

Oh, good on you. So obviously you're picking Crusaders this weekend. You think they're going to do it? They're going to smash you, mate. They're going to smash you. Last chance. $100. $100.

He won't do it. He won't do it. No, it's going to have to be more of a match, mate. Hayden, hold the line. We'll send you out some pizza. Good luck for the game, mate. Good on you, man. Have a good day, eh?

There you go. Blue's taking on the Crusaders. Couldn't even get him to do it. I love Hayden. He's loyal. He's loyal. You'll know her from seven days. And have you been paying attention?

The very funny Ursula Carlson joins us in the studio right now. She's about to go on tour. All the tickets from livenation.co.nz. Bloody good to see you, Ursula. You too, mate. I'm so glad you dropped that restraining order and I'm allowed to get back in here. Back in the studio. We've spoken to you many times through this whole weird period, haven't we? On the phone,

on Zoom, but it's nice to see you here. In real life. Because you're in a mask in reception and I didn't recognise you in a mask. This must be a dream for you that people don't come up to you and recognise you. No, I think like even especially when I'm in Australia, I wear

the mask, I put sunnies on and not because I want to hide, just because I'm avoiding COVID and the sun's out. But as soon as I opened my mouth, people go I knew that was you. Really? Because you've been touring Australia and been on Australian TV for many years now so you must get recognised quite a lot.

Yeah. Does it happen in odd locations? When you say odd location, you mean like Darwin? Yeah, Darwin. Yeah, yeah. The worst is I just spent the last five days in Darwin because I did a show up there. So, you know, I thought I'll go early, go see something, because it's the only territory or state that I haven't had a look around

I saw you online, you were swimming in like a river or something Yeah Wasn't that full of crocodiles and stuff like that? Oh, mate, come on, I'm from Africa I was just like, I was worried looking at the photo But you actually grew up, because I was really wet You grew up next to a national park in South Africa, right? Yeah, the Game Reserve, the Kruger National Park

Yeah Would animals come bounding into national park in South Africa, right? Yeah, the game reserves, the Kruger National Park. Yeah. Would animals come bounding into your property in South Africa? Yeah, well, because there were no fences, so they don't bound, they can just wander. Put a fence up? Yeah. What animals came onto your property? Like we had a baby giraffe drown in our pool.

Oh, way to bring the vibes down. Yeah. I mean, normally if i tell that story to kids i go baby giraffe came for a swim oh that's cute yeah yeah i thought we could handle the record and fully do it and so like rhinos would come onto your property yeah yeah that is crazy when there was still a lot of rhinos now there's not so many left now you're about to go on tour i feel like we've been talking to you many times about about to go on tour but this time it's happening and this time it's personal we understand yes

because like i said i i was it was going to be something else i can't remember you know like hot chick or sex magnet or something yeah but because i spent so much time by myself over lockdown and quarantine i spent 10 weeks in total in in managed isolation i thought i got to know myself really well. So then I thought, I'm going to write a show about all my personal stuff. And then I realised there's a lot of filth in there. It's just the stuff in your head. So you're alone in a motel room and these are your dark thoughts.

These are my thoughts. And this is the show that I just toured through Australia. And I tell you what, a lot of people share the same thoughts than I do. Like, I didn't think it would resonate as well as it did, but people have the same rage about avocados that I do. They have the same thought about ghost. Am I allowed to say ghost? We'll just beep it.

Keep saying it and we'll just keep beeping it. Now, what's your issue with avocados? Look, you know, people go into supermarkets, like you don't know because when you buy an avocado, you sort of enter into a relationship with this thing, right? Because when you're ready for it, it's not ready for you. And when it's ready for you, you're not hot. But then when you finally peel that outer skin off the avocado

so you can cut it up, like they show you on TikTok, so you can pop it on the cheese board. Oh, yeah, with ease. Now you peel that skin off and you see all those black dots on the avocado and your first thought is, oh, no, my avocado is diseased. But it's not your avocado at all. It's your environment. It's your society.

People have gone into the supermarket and fingered that avocado so much that if it was a human being, you wouldn't marry it, you know? Awesome to see you on tour as well. Something else I saw, you obviously got the Netflix special, you're big in Australia as well, but you did a podcast with Anastasia the other day. Oh, yeah, yeah. As in, how about a love? Oh, really?

Yeah, yeah. How's that? Yeah, we weirdly became really good mates. Like, I met her on The Mask Singer Australia. It's that? We weirdly became really good mates. Like I met her on The Masked Singer Australia. It's Anastasia. I just lost my mind because, you know, I did Poetry Slam in the 90s, as most young lesbians did. And between her and Macy Gray, that was sort of the soundtrack

of my early 90s. And then she goes, I watched your Netflix special and I just love you. I think you're an amazing cover. And I'm like, no, I think you're amazing and I'm like no I think you're amazing that's incredible so you could message Anastasia right now and she might

get back to you no she will get back oh that's a guarantee I could message him right now and he won't get back to me yeah probably I know him and I

talk about it all the time I'm on a WhatsApp group with him you guys are on a WhatsApp group two of us and Anastasia it's great how do we avoid responding to Jono?

I always love hanging out with you, Ursula Carlson. You're an absolute champion. Good luck with the tour. Let's hope this one gets off the ground. It will. It will. Come hello, high water. If you have a ticket and it gets postponed again,

I'm coming to your house. So watch out. It's a hit of avocados. Jono and Ben's general smell election. It's been a wild ride and we're hitting the finals now on Monday. John Owen Ben's general smell election Woo! It's been a wild ride and we're hitting the finals now on Monday we will know

what New Zealand's favourite odour is what New Zealand's favourite smell is I feel sorry for you know there's the Tauranga by-election there's the Auckland

mayoral race and stuff they're not getting as much coverage as the smell election are they? No, probably more people will vote for the smell election than they will

in the mayoral election looking at the numbers to turn out. True, how many candidates can you, oh, yeah, exactly. But how many smells can you name? Exactly. So let's get into the quarterfinal. Quarterfinal 4

Freshly baked bread versus popcorn at the movies. Yeah, which one's going to advance on through? I know you do love popcorn. You're always eating popcorn. I do love popcorn. You're a big consumer of popcorn.

Yeah, I like popcorn. It feels like a healthier alternative to some of the snacks. And it's great at the movies. You can't go to the movies without, well, I can't go without popcorn. Have some chips, mate. I do like chips. I don't want to be wrong, but I do love popcorn at the movies it's something

you know it feels like you just gotta buy popcorn when you go to the movies and that smell except for you you feel like

you need to take your own popcorn and he sneaks popcorn past the my wife tells me not to so I don't now yeah

it's a bit of a conversation marital discussion yeah so yes popcorn taking on freshly baked bread

yesterday Ben you headed to Levin to phone the movie theatre and find out what they preferred. Good morning, Focal Point Cinema and Cafe Nikki speaking. How can I help you? Is that Levin Levin La Loca?

Yes. Oh, good. I always wanted to say that to someone from Levin. Do you know what? Do you know what? Because I always say Fit and Levin. Oh, Fit and Levin. Oh, fit and live in. Oh, I like fit and live in.

That's good. But I like live in live in the loco a little better, but it's harder to say. Hey, well, quick question. You obviously work at the movie theatre. Yeah. Now, we're looking for New Zealand's best smell. A lot of people voting for popcorn, the smell of popcorn at the movies. Oh, yes.

Oh, does the novelty wear off a little bit smelling it all the time? Yeah, I would say so. It's up against freshly baked bread today. So you both are amazing smells. Oh, my God. It's got to be from in the cinema, does it? Well, yeah. I mean, you get a popcorn at home.

You can smell it at home. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I would say the boysenberry ice cream. It's not even an option. You can't just add something else into that. You're too late for that. Oh, okay. I'd go popcorn then.

Okay, but I like the way you think. Now, can I bring my own popcorn to your movie theatre if I'm coming in, or is that frowned upon? That is frowned upon, I'm afraid. Oh, but I'm a in or is that frowned upon? That is frowned upon I'm afraid. I'm a tight arse. I know. But it does smell good there because you have the hot popcorn machine, right? Yep, we do.

And why does everyone, the last question I want to know, why does everyone just feel like they can leave stuff in the movie theatre before they it just feels like you can dump whatever you want. I don't know why that is. You don't do that anywhere else. I don't know why it is either but you know, it gives a job to someone. That's right. Thank you, Levin.

I love it how you've even had the discussion with your wife, but you're still trying to get the okay from the movie industry. I just want to check because then I could go back and go, hey, the lovely Levin said it was all right. So, 0800 the hits. This is it. Popcorn taking on freshly baked bread We just

Yeah I don't know I'm going to go Freshly baked bread I'm going to go with popcorn 0800 the hits Is the number 4487 is our text

Thanks to Chemist Warehouse The real house Of big brand fragrances We've got bottles of CK1 So you can smell delicious Yeah You know For giving us a call

The smell-ection Is the election That's got Aotearoa By the nostrils We've got the fingers got Aotearoa by the nostrils. We've got the fingers up Aotearoa's nostrils right now and dragging you through the tournament. An inseparable duo. Unless someone better shows up,

he's just going to replace me with Lee Hart and or Ford Smith. Jono and Ben on the hits. Jono and Ben's general smell-election. We're looking for New Zealand's best fragrance. What is the best smell out there? And we're putting it head-to-head in the tournament, much like the Super Rugby. Now, there might be an upset on the way, Ben Boyce. We had Baby taking on freshly brewing coffee an hour ago,

and it looks like on social media there might be an upset. We've been backing the Baby this whole time. The smell of a freshly washed Baby, yeah. And coffee is taking over. So, hey, that's another battle going on in the background at the moment. So we're going to tackle right now the smell of popcorn and... Quarterfinal Four. Freshly baked bread versus popcorn at the movies.

Yeah, this is the election everyone can get involved in, unless you have long COVID and you can't smell. Then apologies. All right, we'll get to the phones'll get to the phone trying to participate in a dance battle it's not for me yeah hey lisa you're on welcome from torona good morning and great to have you on you're putting your weight behind what lease gotta be the popcorn oh yeah i'm with you on the popcorn it's such an iconic smell. But bread. Bread, like you walk past an oven with bread in it. That's good.

Don't get me wrong. It should be a finalist, but is it better than popcorn? I say no. No, definitely the popcorn, sorry. Lisa, you go and enjoy that Tauranga traffic. It's a nightmare around there, isn't it? It sure is. Yeah, that's a bit of a shocker, isn't it?

Every time we go to Tauranga, I I'm like, why is it gridlocked? Yeah, yeah. Hey, Liz, we're going to send you out a bottle of CK1 thanks to Chemist Warehouse. Thank you. We'll head to Greytown. Debs, you're on New Zealand's breakfast and you're voting for baked bread or popcorn. Oh, it has to be baked bread.

Does it have to be? All the way. Yeast. Yeah, the to be? All the way. Does it? Yeast. Yeah, the smell of that yeast cooking away. We talked about the other day how they do it if you have open homes, they'll put the bread smell, won't they? They'll cook some bread so you walk in, you know.

It's a nice smell. No popcorn in the movie, so I'm saying. Debbie, what do you want to say to New Zealand? Oh. Really on the spot there. You need to say to New Zealand? Oh. We're getting on the spot. You need to say something meaningful? Something to inspire us for the weekend. Oh, I don't know.

That gets me going for the weekend. That was the pep we needed. That was the pep talk we needed, Debbie. Hey, Debbie, we're going to give you a bottle of CK1. All right, thanks. Kemos Warehouse. Okay, all good. Love you, Debbie. She's a visionary. Okay, all good. Love you, Debbie.

She's a visionary. No, Cathy, you're on from Auckland. How are you, babes? I'm very well, and you? Thanks. Yeah, good. Bread, popcorn, what's it going to be? Oh, mate, it has to be that bread. Yeah.

Nothing better than that bread with some nice butter and a glass of milk. Nothing better. A glass of butter and a glass of milk. Nothing better. A glass of milk? A glass of milk. Yeah, with a freshly baked bread with a big knob of butter on it. It's awesome, right?

Milk? You're really getting your quota of dairy for the day. I didn't know about milk. Like milk and cookies? Milk and bread? I'll have to try that. Maybe that's what I've got planned this weekend, get some bread. There you go.

You know, I'm just going to someone who drinks a glass of milk in a very long time. Yeah, I've got health issues so I don't do the alcohol very well, mate. Oh, well, so you make up for it with consumption of milk. We love it. I love it. Alright, we're going to send you a bottle

of CK1 thanks to Chemist Squarehouse, the real house of big brand fragrances. Enjoy that. Awesome. Thank you so much. Have a great weekend. Happy Friday, mate. You too, Kenny. Happy Friday to you too. The smell election will continue over the weekend.

We'll be back on Monday as we head into the finals. That is our show for Friday heading into the weekend. As we talked about before, the big rugby game, the Blues taking on the Crusaders at Eden Park, which we're very, very excited about. Yeah, you're going along, Ben. You're taking your family. Taking all the kids. Yeah, going along. And if you haven't got tickets, now they're selling tickets on the Crusaders at Eden Park, which I'm very, very excited about. Yeah, you're going along, Ben. You're taking your family. Taking all the kids. Yeah, going along.

And you've even got tickets. Now they're selling tickets on the field. Eden Park. So we've got some costs to recoup. There's 50,000 seats already sold, and now they're selling things that aren't seats. You can stand on the field. Soon you'll be able to sit on the crossbar of the... You'll run out as well.

I love the fact I'm taking my daughter, Indy, and she's like, my friend's going to be there. Will I be able to see her? I'm like, there's 50,000 be there. Will I be able to see her? I'm like, there's 50,000 people. It's probably not going to happen. But they can't quite get their head around

how many people there's going to be at this game. Yeah. I don't think neither can the Blues probably. Yeah. Where have all those

supporters been? You have yourself a wonderful weekend. Who are you picking the rugby? Go on. I'm going to pick that rugby will be

the winner at the end of the day. You say it every time as well, but you don't want to offend our wonderful South Island audience. Have yourself a great weekend. We'll catch you Monday from six.

See you then. The Hits. For more podcasts from The Hits Network, check out iHeartRadio.co.nz.