Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: Who Has The Best Dad Joke?

Episode Date: September 2, 2022

Today on the podcast we are joined by Paul Ego to review the listeners best Dad jokes, All Black George Bower joins us on the phone and Laura McGoldrick talks sports!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Kia ora, welcome. It's the 2nd of September. October, November. Oh, baby. We are starting the runway to the finish line, aren't we? You like to, don't you? Every year I just move it a month forward. It is nice to think that it's only a few months away till Christmas, isn't it? Isn't that a nice little feeling?

But you're also, at the same time, what worries me is, and it's a cliche, the older I'm getting, jeez, this world's spinning around faster. It does go faster. And then you're like, oh, what have I done? Am I doing everything I need to do in life? Yeah. Is it getting away from me?

Yeah. Welcome to my world. It's Ben's daily existence. It's my brain. It's my brain. Have you done everything you needed to do this morning like have you feel like you've oh this morning's all right there's a lot hanging over me even later in the day but we have just all sorts of you know but but right now you're good you know we're

getting on top of things we did have an interview that we'd planned for that didn't work out but that happens that's fine yeah but everything else you don't seem that cool with it that's fine a radio show got to air. It was good. It was fun. Jesus, Joel. Hey, can I just address the elephant in the room? Friday today, last week on the podcast, we said flannel Friday, first Friday of the month. Oh, yeah.

I'm wearing a flannel. B-Humps flannel. I know. B-Humps has got it too. I said we need to send us a reminder, and I'll happily be involved. Yeah, I'm sorry. That guy in the foyer, he's wearing a flannel?

Yeah. You know how I said the older That guy in the foyer, he's wearing a flannel? Yeah. You know how I said the older I get, the world's spinning quicker? Also, the older I get, the worse my memory is. So, yeah, a calendar invite, we need to do that. Do you reckon, sorry to jump around here, but you said address the elephant in the room. Do you reckon the zoo, the people that work with the elephants at the zoo are using that all the time?

I would. Every night I'd get them into their little enclosure and go, guys, I think we need to address the elephant in the room hello how was the day out there you know that would be that would be a joke

I would love to use yeah we're talking about bad dad jokes but jeez you'd want to use that for once I'd love to be in a room with an elephant

just to make that joke and even if you're like in charge of the snake enclosure and you've got your workman and you're like mate you're a snake in the grass.

And then just look down at the... There were a lot of great puns to be had at the zoo, wasn't there? Oh, don't play. No good can come from playing fake laughter over that. Yeah, that would be a lot of fun. I'm sure there's a lot of... Hey, Ben, you're dressed really good today.

I'm just lying. And then there's a lion there. You know? We could have so we could have so much we would have no zoology experience but jeez we would be great for morale could go for a you could go for a trip to the zoo try make a pun out of everyone that would be the challenge go to every enclosure and try and squeeze a pun and we should film that video that'd be a fun little thing for social media the pun and yeah i was actually i was talking to my mate so we should definitely go to the zoo because i I was driving past the other day.

I went for a walk as well in the Western Springs. You can see the elephants. And I was like, I think you can. But I was like, how good would it be to go to the zoo? I haven't been there for years. They've got a whole amazing new enclosure and stuff. But the problem is that I didn't realize some of them were not open when I was there with the kids. And so you're looking and you're like, that's incredible.

There's got to be an animal in here for somewhere. Couldn't see them. Because then you saw a sign going, animals here October this year or something. So, yeah, that's a weird mistake I made. And you've got to go at peak times, like when the animals are all rowdy and doing some stuff. Because, I mean, no, I'm looking at a leopard who looks like he'd rather be, you know.

Yeah, right. So you're just like, ugh. You're bringing the vibes down, mate. Well, sometimes they need their rest time. They need their rest. Yeah. They do. But do it after hours, animals.

You're there for our entertainment. No, they're not. That's why animals are born. No. That's why we created them. Oh, God, mate. So we could watch them. No, we didn't.

Yeah. I've got a good one for you. Why can't you play board games around the wild cat enclosure at the zoo? Something to do with a cheetah? Would it be? Yeah, too many cheetahs. Let's read out some of these dad jokes and we'll see if we can get a punchline. Okay.

How close to it? These are top of my head. Sorry. Yeah, sorry. Off the top of your head, you do some of these. What's the best key to open up a zoo with? Zoo key. Zoo key.

Monkey? Yeah. Good one, Ben. There we go Good work This was a game show This was a fun game show Why didn't the koala Get the position at the zoo

Koala Koala pouch Eucalyptus Tree Koala Syphilis Job Koala

Koala climbing the trees Could bear it Didn't have the right Koala-fications Oh Couldn't bear it. Didn't have the right koalifications. Oh, that's good. That's good. Sorry, Kay. Next one.

What is a zoo? Always give the lion cages the best positions. Roar. Lion's share? Lion's share? The main? The main place. The main.

It's always the main attraction. Oh, the main attraction. That's good, yeah. I'm shocking at these. This could actually be a challenge. We go to the zoo and we try to get a pun for every single one. Or we go to the zoo and you have the joke and then the punters have to figure out the punchline.

Oh, no, that's too much. We'll brace for this. We've got a great podcast that you maybe won't get to because you've just listened to us do that. But enjoy it and have a great weekend if you're having a weekend. Now, someone said they've got some audio to play us. We've got some audio for you.

Yeah. I don't know what this is. Oh, you don't know either. No, no, no. I thought this was a session with me. So I was like, oh, we'll take it away, Jono. But I don't know what this is either. I've gone in blind as well.

I've been told by the production team here on the show. Oh, no, we both got this nervous feeling of like, it's Friday, guys, come on, that's up. We're just going to have a little hallmark moment on the show. Here's producer B. What's the hallmark moment? What's happening, man? We've got just a little Father's Day messages for you boys.

Hi, Dad. Thank you for everything you do. You are the best. father's day love indy dad is one of the best dads in the world he's really kind and thoughtful and he buys me lots of things he's very selfless and i love him hi dad happy father Day. Thank you so much for everything you do, always making us yummy dinners, spending time with us and just being with us. I love you so much and I want some of my mates over he'll happily drive them and he'll take me to any of my basketball

activities Oh that's lovely How come my kids sounded like they were being held hostage? Well they may have been I was going to ask you one of the best answers I was good because sometimes you were one of the best dancers I was good

because sometimes you get that world's best father's thing you're like I'm not number one I'm not number one so it was realistic

that was lovely that was lovely thanks for organising that that was lovely that was beautiful but yes I'll just get them trying to do a bit more

natural delivery so it doesn't sound like you bullied them into doing a Carver's Day music why am I getting out of this oh so good

who's having the best weekend cheers to Karcher window vac clean any smooth surface like a champ

it's worth $249 the Karcher window vac you can get it in store and online at your local DIY store and we've got one up for grabs right now

with who's having the best weekend yeah you'll have the cleanest windows in the southern hemisphere. We're going to kick it off with Janae. Janae Nae from Hamilton. You're on. Welcome.

Morning, mate. How are you doing? Yeah, lovely to have you on, Janae. Tell us what's happening this weekend. Well, this weekend, mate, is a big weekend for me. Tonight we're starting off with the Waikato Rugby Referees Awards evening. Oh, okay, beautiful. Are you a referee?

Yeah, I am. Oh, that would be weird if you weren't and still going to the Referees Awards. Yeah. But okay, okay, you're doing that tonight? And then the funny thing is, I don't know if you guys have got a bit of time, but about four weeks ago I broke my arm reffing a rugby game. Yeah. And then tomorrow night, I have, obviously, we're going to watch the game,

All Blacks against Argentina. Yeah. And then Sunday, we're having Father's Day, and it's my daughter's birthday weekend. She's turned 18. Oh, wow. There's almost too many events going on in three days. That is

beautiful, Janae. Okay, very action packed weekend. A lot of rugby focused content for Janae. We'll head to Kirsten, who's in Auckland. Welcome to the best weekend, Kirsten. Take it away. Oh yeah, so I have not had a day off since the 12th of August

and that included a weekend of work where I was on call from Saturday morning till Monday morning. So I'm just really excited to not be going to work. What do you do? I work in the hospital. Oh, my goodness. You've worked consistently since the 12th of August,

every day. Yes. Oh, my goodness. And I've got two kids, so they'll be like, who are you? Maybe hi. You're like, guys, I'm mum. Who's this strange lady? Yeah, yeah.

Oh, well, thank you for everything you're doing. Everyone that's been working through the hospitals through this period has been doing an amazing job, so thank you very much. Yeah, that's all right. Thank you. I'm going to listen to you guys when I go for a run. That's like an hour of freedom. Oh, well, thank you for listening, Kirsten.

Appreciate it. Well, Kirsten's in the running as well. We'll go to Mike in Taranaki. Best weekend, Mike. What have you got? Yeah, got a huge weekend, mate. So first up, we're going to the rugby at Yarra Stadium. We haven't been there in three years,

so we've got the Naki first thing. Waikato. Yep, beautiful. And my daughter's going to take me out for pre-father's day dinner. Nice. And then we've got a party at Tony Brown's house. And the Naki. Party at Tony Brown's.

This is our tinder. Oh, Mike. Tony Brown lives, mate. We found them. Oh, I feel like Mike's weekend's already started. I feel like he's going to get to it early. That's what we love about it. All right. Oh, there, Mike. And Nicole. Nicole, mate. We found them. I feel like Mike's weekend's already started. I feel like he's getting into it early. That's what we love about it. Oh, there, Mike and Nicole. Nicole, welcome.

Hi, how are you? Yes, alright. Best weekend? I am going skydiving tomorrow. I've just got my first licence, so I'm definitely above ground and literally hurtling towards the earth. Hopefully not with a malfunctioning parachute. Every day above ground's a good day.

There you go. You know what I'm saying? Skydiving. I did it once. You know what it did? You know what it did? You don't factor it in. You're coming down so quickly, all the wind is just pumping into your mouth.

Yeah, well, it's about 200 k's an hour, so you get a little bit of wind. Your mouth explodes up like a hot air balloon. So just keep your mouth shut. Try and breathe through your nose. It'll be my only advice. Yeah, I'll try. I'll try. Have you skydived before? Yeah, I've done. This is going to be my 27th jump. Why am I

giving you advice? It's like you're giving advice to open up surgery for someone. I don't know if you'd trust me with that. Okay, so one of them needs to win the Karcher window vacuum. Ben, you need to choose it. Look, I'm going to give everyone Karcher window vacs.

No, you're not. Yes, I am. No, you're not. Again, I'll talk to my friends at Karcher. Last week they came through for us. Everyone, guys, put them all back on. You're all winning window vacs. Yes!

Yahoo! No! No! Thank you Ben! My window's made of clean. Everyone's heading into the weekend. Everyone's going to catch a window vac so you can get them in store or online. That is officially probably going to be the end of our

catcher relationship. I think I've burned through four weeks worth just then. It is the hits you've got Jono and Ben. Just a couple of dads screaming on the sidelines of their kids' sports games. Jono and Ben on the hits. Of course, a lot of eyes will be on the All Black game. That's Saturday night. The second game against Argentina after the shock result last week with Argentina.

Argentina beating us. So they have the same starting team, I noticed, the All Blacks. Same starting line-up. A few different changes on the bench, but a lot of people are like, oh, okay. What would you have done, Ben? I don't know. I'm not a coach.

Everyone's a coach. Everyone chimes, and everyone knows how they could be doing better. What's your – shove your opinion down everyone's throat. I don't want to give an opinion because right now I feel like the people that are way more qualified than me, you know? Like if Ian Foster came in here and goes, oh, mate, hey, why don't you move that bit in your radio show? I'd be like, hey, mate, stay on your lane. So I feel like the same.

I wouldn't. I'd be like, you're probably right, Ian Foster. Probably does work better at 10 past 8. I'd be like, same with me. He's the guy for the job. He knows what he's doing. Yeah. So, you know, they'll be fine.

They don't need my advice. Thanks, mate. What did you play for rugby? I don't even want to think about this. What happens if they lose? Don't even say that. I said I don't want

to think about this and then I mentioned what I was thinking about. Yeah, don't say that. Yeah. I hope they don't. I hope they don't. But when you strip aside,

because we both feel very sorry for them, don't you? The pressure mounting on from the country and stuff. But when you take all that emotion out of it, Ben, you know, you just look at the sport. You've got to make some decisions, don't you?

Okay, alright, here we go. What decisions are you going to make? I'm not going to make the decisions. Guys, tell me. What would I make the decisions? We've got to make some decisions, But I'm not saying what they are What if Ian Foster came in here And said, hey, I think you should

Do this with your radio show He'd probably be right He'd probably do a far better job Putting together our radio show Well, listen We get Laura McGoldrick on From the afternoon show Every Friday to talk sports

She'll be joining us next Basically, it's Laura and Ben talk sport And I just pretend I know what they're going on about You'll put on a silly sports voice. You do that for a little bit at the top. But Laura will join us shortly, and we did a collab with her to try and support the All Blacks.

Oh, no, actually, because she specifically stated, do not attach my name to this song. Oh, okay. Well, we didn't get Laura involved in this, but we did it to inspire the All Blacks to hopefully win on Saturday and also to make our grumpy boomomer Dads a little bit happier. Apologies to Elton John, Boomer Dads and rugby for what you're about to hear. Need a favor from your man. I know this guy. Subscribes to Sky. It's my grumpy boomer dad.

Argentina. He calls to see. An Argentina win for the first time. He's a grumpy fan. A terrible guy. Yeah, yeah. Six drinks, binge in. He starts a whinge in.

Tenny can is in his hand. Oh, he's in the air. I know how you make him feel Adi Saville When you score there Only me and mom Can hear him When he is screaming At the TV

Make it closer, Fozzie Foster They deserve the success of the work they have done. Please can you just win one game? And they score! Make it closer, Fozzie Foster That's the game! And give this gift a father's day Sir Fuzzy Foster. That's the guy. And give his gift for Father's Day.

And the All Blacks have silenced the critics. They're not afraid to use the F word. Be family friendly, father. Jono and Ben on the hits On Sunday is Father's Day And we thought we'd talk to a man Who's been called the funniest man The funniest dad on the internet He's a dad of four girls

He tweets the conversations The hilarious conversations he has with his daughters He's got over one million followers On Twitter and he joins us right now Good morning James Bregwell. Oh, good afternoon. How are you doing? Yeah, good.

It's lovely to have you on. It's weird when we say good morning, you say good afternoon, but that's international time zones, baby. Hey, welcome along. Now, you've been dubbed the internet's funniest dad. We've got Father's Day coming up on Sunday. Now, is Father's Day the same time in America

as it is in New Zealand? Okay, I'm terrible with calendars. Hopefully nobody in America listens to this. I believe a Father's Day in the US is in June. Ah, right. So we're doing it at different times of the year. Now, you're a dad of four girls. 18th of June. 18th of June, okay. Well, you're a dad

of four girls, and you basically tweet your conversations you have with your kids, and it's blown up. You've got a a million followers on twitter you've written a bunch of books when did you first get the idea to sort of put the conversations out there i uh i just started tweeting about all the things in my life and as i had more kids they took over more and more of my life so i kind of it was kind of natural it was a little the creep of children as they work their way into everything that you do but they just as they learn to talk and as they learn about the world, they just have some legitimately funny stuff to say. And I think everybody's kids are that way. And that's why so many people relate

to it. You are sort of breaking down the dialogue, Blober. It's sort of like a police interview, isn't it? Word by word, reenactment of the conversation. Have your family become a bit gun shy about talking to you now, James? Oh, no, not at all. The kids like attention, although they don't care about Twitter at all. They like Instagram. They like me taking their picture, and they love YouTube. And on YouTube, I have almost no followers. But they're big fans of the video.

That's where all their real heroes are. Now, one of your books, which is on parenting advice, you describe it, I read, as kind of like advice after three shots of whiskey. That's the sort of field you're playing in. What would be some advice you could pass on to the two of us as parents? What's a good tip? I think less is more in general. One of my books is Bare Minimum Parenting,

The Ultimate Guide to Not Quite Ruining Your Child, and that's really my philosophy. I'm not going to be that parent who has to go to every sporting event. I figure go to a couple of sporting events for your kids and make it really memorable. Somebody looks back, they're not going to remember every game anyway. You take them out to pizza after one game, that's the one they're going to remember for the rest of their life,

and then you can skip the rest. Awesome, that's genius. When you say make it memorable, are you causing a scene on the sideline? Are you sort of attacking the referee? How are you make it memorable, are you causing a scene on the sideline? Are you sort of attacking the referee? Like, how are you making it memorable? I mean, my approach would be pizza. My kids are very easily bribed with food. But if you want to go the other way,

then the kids will remember why they don't want you there, and you also get out of the game. So either one can be good. I do like being minimum parenting because, you know, you do love your kids. But there's things like the end-of-year school assembly where you watch 320 it feels like every child in the school gets an award i couldn't care about 99.99 of these awards yeah my school during covid started doing a thing where they took like the talent show or the award

ceremony and they tape them and put them on youtube and then you could just skip ahead to your kid it was brilliant So technology has saved us. James Brickwell with us. He's been labelled the internet's funniest dad. His Twitter account is Exploding Unicorn, where he re-enacts conversations or dialogue with his kids. James, I'm going to put you on the spot here. I'm going to read out some of your tweets and stop by the last line

and see if you can remember what the line is, something your kid said. George, can we have a quick go at that? I'll tell you right now, I'm going to fail at this. I look back at my old tweets and I can't remember any of them. That's okay. I'll go ahead and make a new one myself. Let's go for it.

How many tweets do you think you've sent out over the years? Oh, 20, 25,000, something like that. Okay, so you really, okay, I really am putting you on the spot. Okay, your seven-year-old asks you, what's for lunch? You reply, leftovers. They mope. You say, what's for lunch? You reply, leftovers. They mope. You say, what's wrong with that? And your kid says.

Probably there's a reason we didn't eat them the first time. Yay! One from one. Okay. You say, how did your group project go? Your child says, good. There was just one problem. You reply, what?

And they reply. The group. Yeah! You see, you're nailing these. You're nailing this. You're hating on yourself, James. All right, let's get one more. Your seven-year-old dumps their toy dinosaurs all over the floor.

You reply, you can't leave them everywhere. And they reply, why? It was their plan at first. Yeah. So there you go. You nailed it. Three from three. James, after 25,000 tweets, you've still got a memory on him.

I guess so. Lovely catching up with you, James. If people want to follow you on Twitter, it's Exploding Unicorn, spelled X-ploding with an X at the front. Hey, thank you very much for your time, mate. Lovely catching up with you. Oh, thanks for having me. The Jono and Ben Podcast, the world's number one podcast.

Please don't check those stats. Thanks for hanging out with us. It's always good. It's always a good feeling Friday morning, isn't it? Wouldn't it be great if you just had consistently this feeling Monday through Sunday? You know, it's good. Just encapsulate it. Surely there's some pill we can create for that.

You get to Friday and you're lucky enough to have part of your weekend. You're like, oh, man, that's a good feeling. You know, your weekend starts now, doesn't it? Don't tell your boss that. Yeah. Now, yesterday I was around at your house. You know, we're doing some stuff around at your house. We sound like we're having a fear.

Let's not elaborate. Well, it's just the work stuff, but we don't need to get into details of what stuff. That's boring stuff. Boring details. You know, for many years I've been, you know, the dog. I've had a dog. You know, I've been the one with the dog. The shambles dog guy.

But now you're a dog person. I was having a go at it from Australia. Thank you for that sound effect, Producer Joel. Producer Joel, mate, you know how I said the weekend started. I take it all back, okay? Still need to focus for three hours. You've got a little dog, Milo. You've got a few, you know, probably how long would it be?

Six months ago? Feb, yeah. A cute little dog, Milo. You got a few, you know, probably how long would it be? Six months ago? Feb, yeah. Yeah, a cute little dog, Milo. He was a COVID purchase on my behalf when we both had COVID at the same time, which doesn't do good things for our affair rumors. But yeah, I kind of bought him in a COVID haze. Yeah, no, very, very cute dog. But I noticed yesterday hanging out with Milo and yourself,

and they say dogs are a lot like their owners. I feel like Milo's a lot like you. Like no one is running a busier operation than you and your dog. Like you're both, you just, you know, I know your personality. I'm like,

geez, that's like the dog. Yeah. Yeah. The dog's over here. He's doing this thing. He's running back here. He's bringing in a leaf.

He's up on the couch. I was like, oh, he's got to rest. He rests for like, he's like, shut his eyes for like two seconds. And then he's back up.

He's running across. He's doing this thing. He's doing that that over there he's running a busy operation but i don't know what he's doing like here and maybe that's a great reflection on well do you ever know what i'm doing well that's all about you're up at 3 30 in the morning i don't know why he's up he's up he's doing this he's having this thing he's running he's with a car he's at wash world he's doing this thing he's like you and your dog are running busy operations, but I'm not sure what either of you are doing. No. I mean, he's the size of a rat on steroids,

but he's got the pace of a greyhound on meth. Like, he is. Boy, he's quick. And he just sprints around the lawn. And there's noise from a truck outside. He's out the front. He's down there. There's a neighbor thing.

There's a phone ringing. He's just all over the place. But you're very, very cute. But all I wanted to do was pat him. Like, all I wanted to do the whole time was pat him. But he'd come up, then run away. there's a phone ringing he's just all over the place but you're very very cute but yeah all i wanted to do was pat him like all i wanted to do the whole time he was better but he'd come up then run away and i'm like is this a game is this what am i yeah do i need to build up to that like uh so i don't know yeah now you actually boil it down but maybe it's a lot of me is rubbed off on their dog but i'm probably exactly the same with my dog like i'm not you know my dog's very much

like a sham shambles much like me you know i know, my dog's very much like a shambles, much like me, you know, loves being the centre of attention. Bit of a shambles, makes a lot of noise. You know, that's a lot of me rubbing off on the dog. The thing I have noticed too is, like, anything on the floor or at ground level is, it's fair game to go inside his mouth. Puppy stage, yeah. Nothing you won't put in his mouth. Fridge magnets, you name it, bits of bark, dirt.

Even one of his droppings the other day, I was like, mate, no, no, no. And so when anything drops now, whether it's from the kitchen bench or you're carrying something or you drop your keys or something, it's like an action movie where you're both diving in slow motion just trying to catch the grenade before he gets to it. New Zealand's most successful unsuccessful show. Jono and Ben on the hits. Please don't stop the music, music, music, music.

653, it's Rihanna. Don't stop the music. Sunday, Father's Day. It's happening on Sunday as it does every year, the first weekend of September, and you wanted to put me to the test. Well, this is after you put me to the test on Mother's Day. It's a little game called who can get their parents to say, I love you back.

And it turns out my parents, turns out they don't love me publicly. Publicly. They won't go on public record saying. Yeah, is that where are you? You're the only child. I mean, she says it to me when there's no one else around inside a room. Right.

Anyone else comes into that room? She looks around first, put your phone on flight mode, that sort of thing. Yeah. John Pryor, my father, he's a Britishish air force man and i think uh emotions are illegal in britain not allowed those in the air force as well

is he originally from britain is he yes he immigrated from the uk came over here on a boat that took them like i think it was like five years or something that might be an exaggeration yeah but landed here as a 17 year old it was just like good luck out there mate started his life in new zealand oh crazy stuff yeah and he was in the air force too and if you say i love you to anyone in the air force that's a sign of weakness get you killed get you killed on the battlefield these days not by your own people by the enemy if the enemy knows that you love someone you're gone okay so so you yeah we i made you ring your mum. This was Mother's Day last year, right?

And the game was how quickly can you get your mum to say, I love you back. This is what happened. I love you, mum. Bye. She never says she loves you. No. Say you love me, Annie.

Well, I put that in my text. I do L-U.V. Yeah, she does. She does. Bye. Bye. There she goes. She never says she loves you out loud. Puts it in taxes. Yeah, but won't say it publicly. Come out and say it publicly for once.

So that's what's happened on Mother's Day. Just wouldn't do it. Now, it's Father's Day, Ben. Yeah. Your turn to find out how much your dad loves you. Kevin Boyce, school teacher, principal, prolific career. Yeah, and this was yesterday we rang after the show, and he was in the middle of work. I was like, he probably won't answer.

And if he does, he'll have a lot of people around. You know, and it's always awkward when your colleagues are around or you're in a room full of people and, you know, your partner phones or someone phones, and they're like, love you on the other end. And you kind of have to be like, love you. You don't want to come out loud with it, do you?

Yeah. So this is what happened with Kevin yesterday. Hello, Kevin, voice speaking. Oh, Dad, it's Ben. I know you're working, so I'll make it quick. Yep. Love you. Hi. Yeah.

Love you. What's that? Love you. Oh, thank you. That's very kind. So, love you too. Oh, yeah. He got there.

I thought it was awkward because it was at work. It was, you know. I got there. It's a love you game here to Father's Day, and you came through for me, so thank you, Dad. Thank you very much. There's just something. Anything arrived in the post? Have you seen him at Father's Day present,

or were you waiting for his? I think he's saying if I sent him something. Go check the mailbox when you get home. There's a bit of thing both ways there, actually, and so because I answered correctly, I thought it should be coming tomorrow, is it? Yeah, well, this is harder. There's a bit of thing both ways there, actually. And so because I answered correctly, I thought it should be coming tomorrow, is it? Yeah, well, this is hard. There's a lot of packages.

There's slow times, but it'll get there. I think you've got your Posty Plus catalogue, which might be in your mailbox there, Kev. What every dad wants this Father's Day. Thank you very much for the clarification. You're welcome. You're welcome. I know you're at work, so I'll let you go. But love you.

Love you. Thank you. Thank you very much. I feel a lot better about that now. Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you welcome. I know you're at work, so I'll let you go. But love you. Love you. Thank you. Thank you very much. I feel a lot better about that now. Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you. Bye.

Well done. I love how Kevin's like, because I answered correctly, as if it was like a game show. So maybe it wasn't coming from the heart. What do I win, guys? What do I win? Do I get a prize for saying I love you? No, you don't. This is the Jono and Ben podcast.

Wall-to-wall talking without the niggly popular songs in between. We talk sports heading into the weekend with Laura McGoldrick from Brad and Laura in the afternoons. We just played your song too. And you don't have to take full responsibility for that song.

No, I won't. I definitely won't. You're a good singer. You should have been a singer. Oh, no, but that... Yeah, I tried very hard. Well, actually, no, I didn't. I just won't. You're a good singer. You should have been a singer. Oh, I don't know about that. Yeah, I tried very hard. Well, actually, no, I didn't. I like singing in the shower.

Oh, Benny Boy from the Afternoon Show, joined by Laura McGoldrick, Lazzar, Jazza, and Bazza on sports. You don't have to talk like a sports jock when we talk sports. I love it. God almighty, that sounded like radio sport, RIP. But that sounded exactly like how you launch into a radio sport bit. Big weekend of sport.

Ben, you sent some notes out last night. Yeah, I did. Well, Laura McGoldrick, I know you're from Christchurch. And after the game last weekend with the All Blacks, they were outside the stadium talking to people about their reflections on the test. And this little kid, he must have been about five or six. This is what he had to say. Not great at all.

Horrible. No good? No. Nah, shit game. Nah, shit game. Nah, shit game. Yeah. So did he sum up how everyone was feeling in Christchurch? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that was it.

Yeah. Simple and succinct. That's how we like to do it in Christchurch. But it was bloody awful. But the weirdest thing about that game, if you go back and watch it, the All Blacks just, there were moments. They had more possession. They had the ball more. There was just, the All Blacks just, there were moments. You know, they had more possession.

They had the ball more. There was just, the All Blacks just butchered it. Turn things around this weekend, Hamilton, Saturday night. We're going to win, right? Yeah. I'm not a professional athlete. I don't know if you could tell. Surprised at all, yeah.

Do you think they're getting inside their heads out there you know if something doesn't go their way they go oh and it starts you know a big snowball effect of bad decision making and simple mistakes uh yes it could be there it could be the fact that other teams and the all blacks have spent so many years dictating the terms of the game of rugby on the field like the pace of it and everything And now teams have learned to do that back to them, and the All Blacks maybe aren't coping quite as well as they should be in terms of the temperament of the game and the tempo. So I don't know.

They are making silly little mistakes. Discipline's a problem. But, you know, we're a year away from a World Cup. What are we playing? You want to be as positive as you can, and I'm not sure us fans are helping too much. No, this conversation's probably not helping. No, let's switch things up.

Serena Williams, her last major tournament before, she hasn't called it retirement, but she goes to the next phase of her life, and it's been amazing seeing all the celebrities. I don't know if you've seen, there's been, Bill Clinton was there, Hugh Jackman, Rebel Wilson, Anna Wintour, you know, there are a whole lot of celebs coming out to support her, which is awesome.

Yeah, I'm more impressed with the fact that she just blatantly walked out onto court dripping in diamonds and had a train. That's a bougie. I mean, you back yourself, girl. You get out there and you sparkle with your... And matching what her daughter was wearing as well on the crowd, who had a little Instamatic camera. It was very cute.

She was very cute, and she had the beads in her her hair which was harking back to when Venus and Serena first started playing tennis. They had the white beads in their hair when they had the braided, which I thought was pretty cool as well. It's almost like the other players just need to let her win the tournament. It would be nice to have her go out on top, wouldn't it? It would be the right thing to do. It would be, yeah.

I know you're a big Royal fan, but Serena Williams said she consulted Meghan Markle about her retirement. She said all this on this new podcast that Meghan's got. Yeah, no one should be consulting Meghan Markle, let's be honest. You've got beef you need to sizzle with Markle, eh? I've got massive beef with that woman. Don't you come down on the Queen like that.

That ain't your place to stay. Number one podcast on Spotify. Knocked off Joe Rogan. Yeah, I did see that. Did you hear her place to stay. Number one podcast on Spotify knocked off Joe Rogan. Yeah, I did see that. Did you hear her call Mariah a diva? And she said that, she goes, you know, now diva is a word I just can't associate with. Like, I just can't. And Mariah

is like, are you joking? Where's the Queen's podcast sitting on the top ten? Yeah, I'm not sure. Not sure yet. And finally, Laura McGoldrick, there was a baseball reporter in the United States

who decided at the ground to go down the slide and it didn't end well. He came in hot. Watch. All right, here we go. Holy crap! Holy crap!

Holy crap! Holy crap! Holy crap! So that's the sound of him smashing into the wall at the end of the slide. He broke a hand and broke his wrist as well. This was all on just a bit of colour stuff, you know, out and about to bring some entertainment to the TV broadcast.

He didn't sound like he was enjoying any part of that trip. No, no, there was not an ounce of joy in his voice at any point of that slide. But, you know, as someone who's done a lot of colour at sporting events, there is the odd chance that you will absolutely humiliate yourself. What colour have you been forced to do for Sky? Because that's what they call it in the industry. It adds a bit of colour to the broadcast. Yeah, it gives you a little bit of context of what's going on at the ground

if you can't be there. And, yeah, there's been some interesting cricket shots I've chosen to play in the backyard with the kids in my high heels while Guppy's batting and then the commentators compare the two of us in our technique, which is not embarrassing at all. Laura McGoldrick, always a pleasure. Go the All Blast, go the Warriors, go everybody that I forgot to mention.

You have a great weekend. You have a great weekend too, guys. Thanks so much. Look out! Scary dinosaurs. Not Jurassic Park. got to mention you have a great weekend you have a great weekend too guys thanks so much look out scary dinosaurs not jurassic park it's these guys jonathan ben on the heads my dad kevin boyce was a he loves a dad joke like he was like the two that stick in my mind he would often go you'd be driving along in the car and he'd go to the carload of people you normally had friends he would go there was electrical current that you can feel. It goes out into the atmosphere on this road.

If you put your hand on the window now, you'll feel the pain. And then everyone put their hands on the window and go, oh, window pain? And you're like, oh, my God. So once you heard that the first time, you're like, oh, please don't do that again. And the other one, he'd go, raise your hand. Oh, was he reusing material?

Oh, all the time. And you would be there for all the gigs. You were there. And the other one, every night, he'd be like, everyone raise their hands? And you're like,'re like okay and then you turn the light switch on and go many hands make light work i was like oh my god yeah but that was again i'd roll my eyes and but it's stuck in my head both those terrible jokes kevin boyce is probably one of the greatest dad jokers in altair oa yeah and. And we actually made a song with Kevin featuring respected artist Kings, the rapper.

We got him in low point. Didn't we? A moment of weakness. We'll play that for you now, actually, our dad joke song. But oh, 800 of the hits. If you've got a good dad joke, we'll do the dad joke competition next

with Paul Ego after my dad and Kings on the hits. The song goes out to all the bicycles out there who can't stand on their own because they're too tired. Yeah, we're telling dad jokes. Oh, yeah. What, what? Yeah, we're telling dad jokes.

All right, Mr. Kings, tell us some more dad jokes. At 2.30, you were sentenced to go to the dentist. How was your trip? I guess I'll see you next fall. I'm hiding in your wardrobe. It's none of your business My cat is sick, you know it's not feline well Can I watch the TV?

Yeah, but don't turn it on At the cemetery, they're dying to get in real bad How far away is dinner? It's just in the kitchen Dad, I'm hungry Hi, hungry I'm dead You were telling dad jokes

You were telling dad jokes You were telling, you were, you were telling You were telling, you were, you were telling You were telling, you were telling, ha Did you know tails are the leading cause of dry skin? Must be a frog in my throat With that croak Steak puns are a rare Meaty, um, well done

There's a restaurant on the moon with no atmosphere Just like a bald man, I'm outta here Now, Forrest Gump's password's one, Forrest, one. What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff. What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing. It just waved.

I'm just a dad. Doing all he can to be a better man. Keeping a deadpan. Just a dad. Whoa. Just a dad. Whoa. Just a dad. Whoa. Just a dad. Whoa. Just a dad.

Whoa. You're telling dad jokes. Dracula's a pain in the neck. You're telling dad jokes. Velcro. What a rip off. Let's hear it for the rad folks. Making all the dad jokes.

One line of bad jokes. Making people mad stoked. Yeah. One time for the rad folks making all the dad jokes One line of bad jokes making people mad stoked, yeah One time for the puns told by the parents who aren't our mums Russian dolls are so full of themselves I'm on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it I eat it Jono and Ben, the bald and the beautiful. On their heads.

Note, may not be beautiful. Paul Ego is with us from Invercargill. You're in the south. Yes, I'm sitting in our hire car at the back of the hostel, and I've just had a slice of cold pizza for breakfast. I'm living the dream. Is this the high-faluting life of a New Zealand comedian? That's right, mate.

That's when you make it to a C-lister. This is what happens. Cold pizza, rental cars. Paul Ego, you've been on tour around the country. You must be enjoying getting back out there, though, after not being able to do it for so long. Oh, it's so good. It is so good.

Paul Douglas and I are out. We're playing sort of smaller venues. We did Tuatara Bar in Invercargill last night, which is probably only about a 60, 70-feeter. But to have people that close and to be packed in, it's a great feeling. It's just so nice to be gigging again. Is it also a little bit frightening at the same time,

having people so crammed, so packed? Yeah, a little bit. I mean, it's quite good because you don't know them. Like, if it was family members sitting that close, you'd kind of go, oh, wow, this is the intervention I've been expecting for some time. So next week, or a couple weeks away, actually,

16th at Methven, and then you go to Wellington, Carterton, Palmerston North, so still a few more events to go. Yeah, we've got those four locked in. We're hoping to do a weekend in Auckland as well, probably at the Classic. That's not, I don't think it's on sale yet, but those are the next four for sure, yeah,

so get a ticket. It's awesome. Do you come up with new material every place you go to? Obviously, there's a whole bunch you use from location to location. But do you be like, hey, Methvin, I noticed XYZ in the town today? Yeah, it's weird that a lot of places have three letters just displayed in the town. Sometimes it's XYZ. Sometimes it's like, you know, they'll do L, M, N. So that's a good example, Jono.

That's what I was going for. What happens is we generally get up on stage. We get up on stage together at the beginning of the show and just sort of talk to the crowd and welcome them. And then we basically ask them, you know, what's the best thing about meth and what's the worst thing? And we just sort of riff on that for a little bit. And then we do our individual stand-up comedy set. Oh, awesome stuff.

Well, Paul Ego, we have got you on ahead of Father's Day as a high-falutin' comedian eating cold pizza in a rental car in a macaque. Living the life, eh? Living the life. To judge our Best Dad Joke competition ahead of Sunday, we're going to introduce you to Liam, who's going to kick things off. Liam, you're on with Paul Ego. Take it away with your joke.

Go, Liam. Now, the important thing to remember is a dad joke is all in the delivery. Okay. Okay, you've set it up well. All right, you've set it up. Was that it? I don't know if that was it. Was that it, Liam?

No, yeah. No. Okay. Recently, I had a trip to the ED after being hit in the back of the head with a can of Coke. The doctor said I was very fortunate that it was a soft drink. Oh! Oh, very good. That is good.

You could have not put more emphasis on soft. Just so you knew the punchline. It's all in the delivery. It's all on the delivery. It was all on the delivery. All right, and that's Liam's attempt. Okay. Sarah, all right, dare joke number two. You're on with Paul Ego.

Go, Sarah. All right. All right, I'm struggling to know. I've got two, so I'm going to go with the first one. Okay. How do you get Pikachu on a bus? I don't know. How do you get Pikachu on a bus? I don't know. How do you get Pikachu on a bus?

Pokemon. That's actually quite good. It's pretty good. It's nice and punchy. It is good. It is succinct. All on the delivery. Yeah, as we know.

It's all on the delivery. All on the delivery. Okay, so Liam and Sarah have had a go so far. Dino, you are on with Paulo. Hello, Dino. Why do chimneys not cost much? Chimneys not cost

much? Because they're on the house. They're on the house. All right. All three have been fantastic. Paul, whose one was your favourite? Who's won the prize this morning? I don't know. Yeah, right, Paul. Whose one was your favourite? Who's winning the prize this morning?

Well, yeah, I don't know. Fantastic's a strong word, but it'd be between Sarah and the... I'm going to go Sarah with Pokemon. That was nice. It's short and punchy. Yeah, I like it. Oh, so good. Lovely catching up with you, Paul.

And go see the two Pauls on tour. All the ticket events are at eventfinder.co.nz you're very funny we love chatting to you Paul same guys talk to you soon thanks so much

you're essential listening for non-essential banter Jono and Ben on the hits we have the staff meeting here at the hits radio station don't we and it's you know

sort of updating on all the going ons on the radio station so everyone's across everything I don't know why like we were late to get there and then you ended up i was like you got lost in the building i came out you're in a very like a full-on conversation with someone so yeah yeah yeah i get i do get distracted and i was like mate we're late for a meeting yeah we're walking to the meeting i started talking to someone from the traffic department i don't know what yeah like you're not just like, g'day, how's it going?

You're like really lock on in there. I'm like, you were so late. Yeah, no, the problem is I stopped walking, you know? You've got to go, g'day, how's it going? Keep walking, keep the pace on, keep the pace up. Because you stop and then they stop and then you... Then they feel they need to create a conversation. Look, we've got time for that.

I'm all good with that. But you, well, like we were, we were already late. Yeah. Everyone was like, Jono was just walking with us. Where the where the heck is he well he was talking about traffic with the traffic oh good okay uh anyway so i made it into the meeting and so you're already late you've already come in at least 10 minutes late yeah i was five minutes late you talk for another five minutes this is your 10 minutes late the meeting only runs for 20 minutes so i'm catching the last 10 minutes of the meeting. Yeah.

And I felt like, because there's people on Zoom, there's from all over the country, the hits radio stations all over the country. And then I felt like at a moment where the meeting had concluded, I start a slow clap. Now the slow clap I feel is a good way of acknowledging, good meeting, guys. Let's wrap it up with it on a high moment and not just do a fade out of like, oh, I don't even know.

Because, you know, when you're including people on Zoom around the country and things, everyone's kind of like, oh, what do we do? How do we get out of this? So you think this is a good thing? You brought the slow clap into play. All I see is some guy. It's a gamble.

Don't get me wrong. The slow clap is a gamble. But, yeah, you're thinking, oh, I see some guy waltzing on in there 10 minutes late for a meeting and then deciding to wrap things up when he's had enough with a clap arrogantly going all right guys i've got stuff to do i've got more chats to have around the office yeah that's all i see yeah but my but my clapping is being confused for rudeness now when actually it When actually it's there just, it's for morale purposes. And you've got to take, give it up for me, Ben. Give it up for me.

I don't know, because I've come into this, as you say, 10 minutes late. I don't know what's been covered off. I don't know when it's meant to end. I'm trying to pick the whole time. When is this thing concluded? 12 people got laid off. And you're like, great meeting, guys. Great meeting, guys.

There were three people crying at the corner. Old mate's clapping. Oh, you're still going to end on a high? No one got laid off. Oh, I mean, you three, you're bringing the vibes down. But it's still ending on a high. Great meeting guys. It's been a good meeting.

Let's wrap this up. Yeah, but there's high risk, high reward with starting a clap, isn't it? Because there is nothing bleaker than a solo clap. When no one joins in. No one joins in. You just need at least two or three people, don't you, to join in, to make it a thing. It's high risk stuff.

But then you get those ones that sometimes people start and then they go, oh, no one's committing and it just sort of peters out harsh and you're like, oh, that's disappointing. Clapping's like bullying. It's only fun when one or two people are doing it to one. It's not fun at all. One or more people are doing it. It's not fun when one or two people are doing it to one. It's not fun at all. One or more people are doing it. It's not fun at all.

Hard-hitting interviews and informed opinion. Mike Hosking on Newstalk ZB. In the meantime, Jono and Ben on the hits. Chance to win on Saturday night of the All Blacks. And a good chance to win. Let's support the boys. Absolutely. And we're joined by starting prop George Bauer.

Morning. Oh, hey, hey, Jono and Ben. Yeah, very good. Thank you. Very good. Hey, is this your phone number? We've got your phone number now I don't think you're that

I'm pretty sure this might be a media person's phone number George I'm definitely going to be texting you from now until the end No no this is definitely

a media person's phone number What are we saying can we get tickets to the game can we text this number is that how this works How are you George you alright mate

Yeah nah nah very good thanks yeah very good, thanks. Yeah, very good. It's been an awesome week up here in the Trons. So obviously this Saturday night, are you guys looking forward

to the game? I mean, after a game last week where unfortunately you guys don't win, are you ready to kind of put things right? Is that the kind of attitude in the camp?

Yeah, yeah, definitely. We've realised what we need to kind of fix and it's little things that kind of let the Argentinians play their game. Right now we're looking forward to this weekend and rewriting our wrongs and getting stuck into our work.

How much pressure is there playing in the All Blacks? I'm just watching on the sidelines here as a low-level radio host but it feels like the country just really piles on the pressure. Does that get to you? Do you try and ignore it, block it out? Yeah, I guess the past couple of weeks,

it seems from the outside in that there's a lot of pressure on us, but we've got a good mental coach that helps us out. We kind of just block out the outside information. What's most important is the boys in the circle here, so don't really read stuff or... Oh, hold on. Hold on. Are you not reading my comments under the article?

Mate, I've got some good coaching. I've been writing coaching tips in there, mate. You're not reading? Okay, yeah. Fair enough. You've got an amazing story, George. I mean, it was only a few years ago that you were, you know, you're in Dunedin. You were even cast in an All Black, like a promo

commercial or something, and some of the All Blacks were tackling you, you were just like, you were pretending to be an All Black, now you're an actual All Black Yeah, no, that's a that is a pretty cool story, even me thinking about it I remember holding, I think I was holding a tackle bag for Kieran Reid and then Reid came in and

put a few shoulders on, and for me I was like yo, this is awesome, man. Getting, you know, tackled. And I thought All Blacks get on and free coffees the whole day. And to me, that was like, wow, this is awesome, man. I mean, even shaking your hands. Now you're an All Black. That was pretty official.

I mean, so, yeah, yeah. And kind of managed to make the Crusaders kind of training squad the next year. And I was talking to Rita and I reminded him, but I was like, Oh, do you remember me from this promo? And he's like, Oh,

that's where I've seen you. You're a familiar face. That's where I've seen you. It was pretty cool. Cause you're still getting rollover payments for that commercial. The other amazing thing is you're a, you're a teacher and the super, the super rugby trophy came to your school.

And do you got fined for picking it up and having a photo with it. And then it wasn't long until you were actually playing for the Crusaders a couple of years later and you won the trophy and got to pick it up. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I was a teacher, right? And yeah, it came to our school. And so, yeah, I picked it up. I wasn't supposed to.

And yeah. But then, yeah, a couple of years later, I was kind of holding it up. And yeah, actually being a couple of years later, I was kind of holding it up. Yeah, actually being a part of the final. So yeah, that was another little special moment. You could see the emotion. We watched an interview with you before doing this. And you'd see the emotion when you talked about being an All Black and being in the team.

And it must be just an incredible feeling. Definitely is. I think one of those interviews, he was just saying how, you know, I never really dreamt of being a part of it because I never thought it was possible kind of thing. And yeah, a few years down the line, I'm here and in this environment and learning from the best of the best.

So yeah, it's kind of funny how it all works out. And yeah, kind of just kept it on. Is it too late for us, George? Like, are we, you know, Should we give up on our dreams? Are they talking about us in the All Black camp? They're like, John, I'm being another way. Are we being mentioned? Probably not as a player, but maybe as a coach

if you've got a few good ideas. Yeah, I've written them all in the bottom of the stuff article, mate. Just get the boys to read that, okay? You also cut here as well. You turn yourself into a bit of a makeshift barber. Is that what you did for the boys before the game? Yeah, well, there's another funny story. Before I was part of this in All Blacks,

I used to actually cut hair in Dunedin because I didn't want to pay for my haircuts. It's so expensive. So I started getting quite good and watching YouTube clips, and then the word started to spread. And then there was an All Blacks in Australia test there, and a few of the All Blacks were looking for emergency haircuts just before they came.

And so I got a knock on the door, and Nehemun Moskara rocks up and comes into my kitchen, sits on my chair, and I start cutting him up. And then Vyfer Peter comes in, and these All Blacks, and I was like, oh, they're in my kitchen, and my flatmates were just buzzing out. Now, you probably don't want to hear this as a teacher, George, but let's scrap the education

system because we've got YouTube. You've just proved it. You can teach yourself anything from YouTube. You could make it,

if you applied yourself, watched enough, you know, a few videos, you could be an open heart surgeon on YouTube. I feel like there's

more to it than that. He taught himself how to be a barber. Yeah, but open heart surgery, I mean, you know. What do you think?

As an education professional, is just scrapping school and just getting the kids to watch YouTube a good idea? Oh, I don't know about that. I know you probably want a job after rugby. Exactly. George, it's been so lovely talking to you. All the very best. We are behind you.

We're supporting the boys, and we can't wait for the game on Saturday. Yeah, cheers, John. Ben, thanks for having me on the hits today and to talk to you guys. What a lovely dude. That's George Arbel from the All Blacks. The Guessing Game. Game show that's really taken the radio world by storm, hasn't it? Changing the face of radio, this game.

Yeah, yeah. Where I find lists on the internet, then Ben fumbles around and panics and tries to list the topic in order from one to five within a 60 second time limit. We've done the most popular languages, the world's most populated countries. Popular foods. Most viewed YouTube videos. Today is sweet, your sweet sweet spot i'm playing in your wheelhouse you love sport okay yeah we i know we really actually pull back the curtain really have to try and suppress the amount of sport content that makes it onto the show yeah uh if ben had

his way this would be a three-hour NBA analytics podcast. So the most popular sports in the world. Now, not as in how many people like them, how many people are participating in these sports. One to five. Now, I'd like to get your juices flowing. I'd like to juice you up before we get into this. Football would have to be number one, wouldn't it?

No. Okay. So let's not. No. So don't lock that. Don't start the timer yet. Don't start the timer yet. Can I give you a clue?

Yeah. It's number 10 is golf. Oh, well, I'm trying to narrow it down to the top. But that's nice. We've ruled out golf. Oh, yeah. I guess a lot of people would be playing golf. Tennis isn't in the top five Isn't?

No It's number seven Sixty million people play tennis So those are the clues I'm going to give you Producer Joel You can help me out here As well okay

It's the likes of hockey And cricket in the top five Hockey's number six Hockey's played over By men and women Over a hundred countries That's a lot That's a lot for hockey

Five continents around the world So football Soccer Football However you want to call it Would be in the top five right? It's in the top five That's a lot Five continents around the world Soccer, football Would be in the top five Where it's placed I'm not giving you zip Bradley Walsh doesn't hand out

Clues on the chase And neither will I Are you ready to start the timer? Feel free to join in All I've got off the top of my head Basketball And football would have've got off the top of my head really you know basketball and football would have to be in the top five but yeah

number one really threw me I won't lie time it starts now I'll give you a clue 998 million people play this sport worldwide it's not really a clue okay can be played on a court Or at the beach

Volleyball Volleyball Volleyball No Get your list out of here Don't waste your time Get your list out of here Volleyball's not the most popular sport in the world

Yeah volleyball's number one Soccer too No Cycling Are you cycling? No Because you're biking everywhere else You've named a sport previously

Basketball Yes well done basketball 450 million pay basketball No. Cycling. Are you in cycling? No. Because you're biking everywhere. You've named a sport previously. Basketball. Yes. Well done. Basketball. A $450 million play basketball. Football would have to be in there. Is that number three?

No. Oh, jeez. What else you got? You've said hockey. Okay. Think of miniature tennis squash on meth. Table tennis. Table tennis. Table tennis in there.

Table. 300 million people Play table tennis 10 seconds Football Football is number 4 5 With 265 million

Number 5 Yeah It's almost like tennis Badminton Yes Badminton's in the top 5 Where did you get this list from? 220 million people

Play badminton Where is this list from? Yeah Are you guys Hold on I'm questioning the list. You're questioning the list of the most participated sports in the world. Yeah, I am.

Why? I don't know. I just feel like some of those. Are you disrespecting volleyball, badminton, table tennis? Yes. Well, maybe not table tennis when you say that. I feel like a lot of people play a lot of table tennis. Volleyball.

Volleyball. 998 million people. There's 220 affiliated national federations of volleyball. Volleyball. 998 million people. There's 220 affiliated national federations of volleyball. Wow. Okay. All right. Well, there we go. I feel like you're questioning a lot of this.

Oh, yeah. Now I wonder if it was Google. Yeah, you can go do some fact checking. I'll do some fact checking next. With five words for 5K. Stop any time to keep the cash. Thank you. Or play on to win more. Here we go, let's try and give away $5,000 with our Game of Word Association a really simple game to play

and you can make a lot of money if you play the game correctly What I like about the 7.45 every morning it's the most regular and consistent part of the show along with your high fibre diet that also makes this the most regular show on radio. Funnelay, welcome from Christchurch. How are you? Good morning.

How are you guys? Lovely to have you on, Funnelay. You'd like to win $5,000? Let's hope so. Yeah. What are you spending the cash on in Chichar if we win today? Definitely a holiday. Although I'll just have holidays.

It feels like, yeah, a lot of people want to take holidays if they're not already, right? It's been a while. Now, you facilitate mental health groups. Yes. Doing good community work. Definitely. A rewarding job too. Oh yeah, and I'm sure it'll be nice to reward you with some money so you can put that towards your holiday.

Who do you want to send into the soundproof booth? Jono or Ben? Let's go with Ben. Okay, Ben. All right, we'll put him into the soundproof booth. Inside there, it's like international waters. No laws. It's a lawless society. I'm counting on you, Ben.

Yeah, a few boundaries and very little morals inside that booth. Let's get into it, Funnily. You've heard the game before. Thank you. The first word, when I say Homer Simpson, what do you... When I say Homer... Simpson. See, I don't know why I'm in think? When I say Homer. Simpson. See, I don't know why I'm in this job some days, funnily.

You do a great job. Yeah, I'm sure management are asking the same thing. Cobb is the second word. Corn. You're going to lock in corn? Yeah. Let's do it. Toffee.

Toffee pop. Toffee pop biscuits. Love them. I hate them, though, because because you have one and then I just finish the whole packet. It just disappears doesn't it? It does Funnily. Alright word number four for you this morning matey. Casino.

Gamble. Gamble. And taking a gamble on the final word which is fillet. Fish. All right, we'll get Ben Boyce out of the soundproof booth. Ben, I said it was lawless society inside that booth. What did you do in there? What, wild stuff?

I just had a breather. It was quite nice to have a minute to myself. It was nice. Sometimes you don't want to do wild stuff. You just want to have a breather. All right. Hey, funnily, I played a great game. Okay, well, that's almost the money.

Smell $5,000. I can smell a holiday. Let's get into it. All right. Hey, Funnily played a great game. Okay, well, that's almost the money. Smell $5,000. I can smell a holiday. Let's get into it. First word. Word one, $25. Homer. Oh, Homer. Simpson. Had an absolute me with that. Oh, did you? Did you have a me with that? I had a me with that. We'll tell you about it afterwards. Okay. Word two, $50. word two fifty dollars a cob is the second one this morning cob cob corn

corn on the cob yeah finally hey it's good fifty bucks let's go let's go all the way you wanna keep going

you wanna keep going you wanna gamble it all for the next word yes please alright word three one hundred dollars toffee toffee pops please. Word three. $100.

Toffee. Toffee. Pops. Toffee Pops. It was Toffee Pop. Oh, come on. Give me that one. Did you say Toffee Pop in your phone, mate? Toffee Pop, yeah.

Oh, an ish stitched us up. No. No, I'm so sorry. Tell me what. Oh, so close. Okay, casino, what would you have said? Gamble.

Filet or fillet? Oh, fish. Oh, my God. One letter. Just a letter away. Finally. Hold there. We need to give you a consolation prize.

You can't get any closer than one letter. Mate, thank you so much for listening. Hold there. We'll sort you something out. Gee whiz, that was a tight one. Thank you very much. Thank you. To Hollywood producers on the search

for future stars. Keep searching, there's nothing here. Jono and Ben on the hits. Ironically, yesterday I was talking about how I didn't like answering phone calls. I like to let things go through to the keeper, to the goalkeeper, to the message. Well, phone calls from numbers that you're not familiar with. Yes.

And also, even numbers you are familiar with, sometimes you like to let those go through to the keeper as well. And it's for fear of not being prepared, isn't it? You like to be in control. I don't like to be put on the spot with something. I like to formulate a bit of a game plan. An excuse is what you like to formulate. And it backfired yesterday.

Did you answer it unknown? No, I didn't answer. I did my tactic. I let it go through. I got the message and then like I'm not going to name names, but there's someone I've helped out quite a few times over the years for some event. It was a lot of fun.

But then it was kind of like, can you do this upcoming one coming up in a couple of months time? I'm sorry that you have to hear about this now, Chris. Yeah. Well, as I said, I've helped out before. It's been a lot of fun. But, you know, like, you know, we've been talking about, you know, wanting to spend more time with the family when you're not doing the actual work of radio at the moment.

So I was like, you know, maybe I need to start politely saying no to some things, not being a dick about it, but just politely saying no. And so my wife, Amanda, is like, well, why don't you ring this person back and say that? I'm like, it doesn't sound like a good excuse. Say I want to, you know, like I just. Spending time with family. They can go, mate, who wants to spend time with their family? Yeah, they can come back or something. I said, no, what I'll do, what I'll do is I'll say,

there's something at the kids' school on that day, on the Tuesday, that night. I'd love to be able to help, but it's Tuesday, I'm locked in. Don't lock in a day. Yeah. Don't lock in a day because you know what they can do? They can move. Well, this is the problem. You know? This is the problem. People are flexible. It was a textbook. Hey. Don't knock on a day because you know what they can do? They can move. But this is the problem.

This is the problem. People are flexible. It was a textbook. Hey, ring it up. Thanks so much. Oh, would have loved to help. This is what I'm saying on the conversation. By chance that day, the Tuesday, that's the day that week.

It's the only day I'm busy. I'm really sorry. Can't do that. Uh-oh. I'm real sorry. And then I was like, textbook. This is textbook. It's gone down well.

And then they went, well, that's all good, actually, because I said the wrong date on the message. It's actually the Wednesday night, so I presume you're free. And I was like, yeah, absolutely, I'm free. So you're locked in. I'm locked in again. You can't get out of it. Which serves me right for trying to get out of something

and making up like a little bit of a white lie. It was changing your identity and option. Getting a new phone number, new passport, driver's license. Yeah. You know, it sort of becomes Jono and Glenn. Whatever to Ben. Who knows? Glenn kind of sounds the same.

Still got that same goofy laugh, but you know, it's Glenn. There's a different guy. Yeah, so don't do that, guys. Learn from me. You've been listening to a podcast from The Hits. For more audio, search up Megan Pappas on the 3 p.m. pickup or Brad and Laura on The Hits. Available now on the iHeartRadio app.