Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: Who insures their buttocks?

Episode Date: June 20, 2022

Find out which smell took out our Smell-Election. Jono tried to be handy around the house and failed because ''what is a stud?". We catch up with our Hollywood Insider Enty and what normal thing does Jono do that annoys Ben? We talk about the things that make us unreasonably angry. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

21st of June today well wee shortest day of the year Ben Boyce yeah it is the shortest day of the year something we've been banging on about a lot today I'll tell you what I actually just saw before when I went out to put my apple core in the rubbish bin out there was that there's a sign

have you seen the new sign in the kitchen? it's quite clever I enjoyed it it got my attention oh about TLC I've seen a picture of TLC the group, saying TLC don't want no scrubs,

but your plates do. And that was the thing. So scrub your plates to put them in. Oh, that was very good. A PASAG note but trying to make it fun and quirky. It was fun. It was better than just scrub your plates you filled the animals. Scrub your plates, you filled the animals. I like the note too because someone's gone to the trouble

of lamination. Yeah. And finding a TLC picture and putting it up there. I was like, well done. Why did TLC want no scrubs? What's a scrub? A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me. Yeah, so he's just no good. He's nonsense. Not worth wasting your time for.

Do you get the definition of a scrub? I want to find out if I'm a scrub. Nah, I don't reckon you're a scrub. That's all right. Have you been with a scrub before, Bill? Probably, yeah. Probably a couple of scrubs in my time. What's that?

Sorry, Bee Humps, what's that? I'll go find out what it is. There's a Snoop Dogg sign as well there, Ben. Scrub is a guy that thinks he's fine, but he's also known as a buster. Oh, so he's just reading the lyrics. He's always talking about what he wants and just sits on his broke ass. Well, there you go. Someone who lacks motivation.

Right. Yeah, exactly. The opposite of you, Ben. And broke. Yeah. You're a motivated guy. Yeah, but I am motivated to clean the plate as well. So I thought it was a good message.

I love those little office messages that sort of pop up from time to time. There's a Snoop Dogg one, too that producer Bee Humps would like to... There we go. You can... When there's dishes in the sink, Ma, wash them like they're hot. Wash them like they're hot. Wash them like they're hot.

Oh, that's good too. That's great. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. Is that what someone else... There's another one up there. Oh, that's cool.

Well done. They're one-upping each other. I don't use the workplace kitchen. You've spoken before, I don't really eat lunch. I've never seen you eat yet. No, you never will either. No, that big burger, but that wasn't really proper. Yeah, you didn't even mention that.

New Zealand's biggest burger. But the workplace kitchen. Some people you see cooking steak on the toasted sandwich maker. It's the wild west, isn't it? Who brings a raw steak to work? To cook a steak? You said there was someone who would... It smelled delicious, though.

What did you say someone used to come in here and cook like... Yeah, who'd bring in at the start of the week like a five litre tub of brown mints. Oh, mints, just raw mints. Oh, the mints was browned. It was browned mints, yeah, and he would just nuke it in the microwave. No sauce, just straight mints. No sauce.

It was disgusting. All protein. Man, the smell. Yeah, just all protein. No sauce. And then there was another guy who used to sit next to him that only ate potatoes. I was like man they should get together. Yeah together. I'll bring the mince potatoes, sour cream, bit of cheese.

It'd be a wonderful dish. Yeah. Brown mince. Where you worked with a guy who went on a potato only diet? He did. Nothing but potatoes. Nothing but potatoes. It worked for him. Didn't it? It did. I think it did. Yeah. This is so bored of what he had to eat. He's like I'm bored of eating more potatoes. Yeah it did. Yeah. I think people were just so bored of what he had to eat. He's like, I'm bored of eating potatoes.

Yeah, it's potatoes again. Maybe that's why, yeah. Have you ever done a diet fad, fad diet? No. No, I haven't. Never have. No. I tried to.

There was one that I got onto. It was after one New Year's where I was like, oh, my gosh, I've depleted New Zealand of Heineken and onion dip. And it was the General Motors. Back in the day, General Motors in America put their entire company on, just to keep them fit and healthy, on the General Motors diet, which was essentially just eating fruit, you know, fruit for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

A little bit of motor oil on the side. Scalded and unleaded in the afternoon. And I got to Day one I got to two o'clock In the afternoon And I was like I'm out I'm out of the fruit diet

I'd only had two meals of fruit Well you don't even get To dinner time No But you don't even eat During the day That's just the weird thing No

And I was like I'll swap the fruit out For a Heineken And that was my I only did half a day Of the General Motors fruit diet And that was it That's my

My foray into the world of fad dieting. Well, we don't actually talk about fad diets today on the podcast, though, but we talked to our Hollywood insider who talks about celebrities insuring body parts. Is it actually a thing? What would you insure? I don't think I have anything in mind that's worth insuring, to be honest. Upgrade? Yeah, sure, but not insure anything.

What would I insure if you were to see? Let me see what you've got. I'm not trying to be like, oh, I don but not insure or anything. What would I insure if you were saying? Let me see what you've got there. I'm not trying to be like, oh, I don't know. There's nothing. See, you can't even think of anything. You're trying to be nice for me. I know you're not insure. You're kind hearted.

Oh, here we go. That's lovely. Thank you. What price do you put on that? Thank you. We also talk about things that unnecessarily get you wound up, give you some rage, as well as that we announced the winner of our smell action.

We'll be banging on about that for a few weeks. New Zealand's best fragrance. What is it? Well, we'll find out today on the podcast. Experts in giving out inexpert advice. Jono and Ben on the hits. We'll be heading to work in Wellington this morning, another day of train disruptions.

There's a software problem that caused chaos yesterday across the network. And they're all running to the Saturday, the weekend timetable this morning again, because there's not as many trains this morning. So they're saying maybe if you can find a way to work another way, maybe don't take the train this morning. Or WFH it. Work from home. Yeah, I didn't know what that acronym was the other day.

I never thought when you said it. Am I overusing it a bit? No, no. I didn't know what you meant was The other day Until I said Am I overusing it a bit No no I didn't know What you meant For a second there too So maybe you're not A lot of people go

I'm WFH today And I didn't know What it was I just pretended Like I knew What it was For many weeks Until I had to

Finally embarrassingly Ask the question Ben I Have been bestowed The role of Hanging a picture frame On the wall In the hallway Now I've been putting it off for

months we've put that picture i got it framed months ago yes yes yes no we'll get around to it get around to it and i'm not you know i'm not a handy person you know you're not either no we're probably the least handiest show uh on new zealand radio don't ask us to do anything power tools they scare me and excite me at the same time yeah yeah i've got a chainsaw i don't need a chainsaw yeah i don't know why you have a chainsaw but anyway it's only ever been used for novelty purposes radio promotions and stuff like that i bought the chainsaw in didn't i be humps and you're like oh this is very dangerous the chain is apparently all loose he's like i wouldn't even fire this thing up you woke me up one morning

remember that where there was a prank in the bedroom you woke me up dressed as a halloween character and the whole the blade fell off the chainsaw and stained the carpet everything the two-stroke oil was all over your bed wasn't it yeah yeah so this was your chainsaw that you'd put together can i say that was a different health and safety time as well there was no health and safety there should have been that was the time it was the turning point so anyway your genes be like can you put this put this bloody picture up i've had it for months i was like okay right last night was the night and so then i don't know if you've hung a picture up before ben have you oh look i've tried but i and now my wife does that mandy does a far better job than me so she'd go ahead and do it then you know because i would end up with 19

different holes in the wall. Yeah, sort of hanging to the left a bit. It's not for me. So my first role in picture hanging is you knock on the wall, finding a stud. You've got to find the stud. Can I be honest? Can I be completely honest?

I don't notice any difference in sound. No. But I pretend like I know. I'm gathering you're looking for the stud post and it should sound deeper than maybe the sounds like there's something behind it right as far as i understand and she's clicked onto this too over there she's like if you start knocking that wall looking for a stud god help she said god help me so i started knocking the wall Well you need to find that You do

I don't know where it is though And so it's always a guessing game I've probably never Put a hook into a stud Never I'm just like this will do Although in saying I've had no fatalities

From my pitcher hanging over the years Oh that's good Yeah Injury free hanging So yeah Is it like straight? Is it level? It's ish

It depends what angle you're looking at it. It's arty. It's arty. Look at that. It's abstract. Yeah. It's so yes. I'm just not.

She's like, we can call someone. And that's really, even though I know I can't, I don't have the skills to do it, it sort of cuts deep, doesn't it? Oh, and I got to hire a hubby around to do a whole lot in my house. It was great. I made him a cup of tea. He had a great yard to him. He put the frames up my house was great. I made him a cup of tea, had a great yard to him. He put the frames up.

It was good. My problem with hire a hubby is, what if the hubby is better at hubbying than you are? Oh, he was. He was. He definitely was. Was Amanda like, well, are you an option?

How much are you per hour? Can we continue to keep hiring this hubby? The shortest day of the year today. Solstice. Yeah. Because obviously solstice in the northern hemisphere, that'd be December, I imagine. Yeah, so six months later,

wouldn't it? Yeah. How many days of sunlight do we have today? How many days? I mean, how many hours? There's one day of sunshine. I don't know the answer to that,

so I'm just going to say because you fluffed the question. He'll focus on mockery as opposed to fact. I don't know. It's the shortest day of the year. I just wanted to say it was the shortest day and move on. And then move on.

It's just scrolling through your feed. Here we go. All right. Scrolling through your feed. Hard news, watery opinion, and loose facts. This is scrolling through your feed. I was reading about a Wellington man, Nick Ashall. Now, he was on day 81.

He was running across America. Running across America. Forrest Gumping it. Yeah, day 81. It's over 5,000 kilometers run across America. Running across America. Forrest Gumping it. Yeah, day 81. It's over 5,000 kilometres run across America. So he's a Kiwi from Wellington. And he was left for dead after a hit and run that completely stopped his journey. Now, they reckon it might have been a deliberate hit and run too.

This is how scary it was. He was on his phone to his family back home in New Zealand as he was running. This ute crossed over two lanes and sped up onto the shoulder of the road before it hit him. So that's why they think it was delivered. He was left for dead. And if he wasn't basically on the phone to the family who heard the whole thing play out, maybe no one could have found him because he ended up basically in a ditch off the road.

So when did this happen? Yeah, so a couple of years ago. He's been through 16 surgeries over five years, and now he's just got returned, just a couple of days, returned to the USA and picked off where he left off and completed his run, the rest of the run across the USA. So how cool is that? Does someone not want him to?

That's an amazing ending to the story. I don't know. But does someone not want him? If someone's going to run across America, it's going to be a goddamn American. Yeah, I don't know. It's a crazy, crazy story. But he completed his run across America is going to be a goddamn American. Yeah, I don't know. It's a crazy, crazy story. But he completed his run across America in Coney Island.

He was given a big hot dog as he arrived in Coney Island because that's what they eat there. And yeah, it's pretty awesome that he's managed to do that and raise a whole lot of money for charity along the way. Well, good on him. What a wonderful story. Happy story. But I feel like more than a hot dog deserved at the finish line. He's like, I just ran across America. I got hit and ran.

I was left for dead. And I get a hot dog. Yeah. And as of yesterday, you don't have to do a COVID test to fly in New Zealand with hopes of encouraging more tourists to arrive. One less roadblock to get into the country. But there's a Danish adventurer.

We were talking about adventurers this morning. Now, he's on a mission to visit every country in the world without taking a plane. And he's going to be the first person to do this. But he's been stuck outside New Zealand for basically what has been like a couple of years. Sorry, two couple of weeks on a container ship outside of New Zealand

that wasn't allowed in through customs. He couldn't get off the boat through customs, all this bureaucracy. So basically he's... So we're the one niggly country that is stopping this guy from achieving... He's finally, as of yesterday, got on to New Zealand. And it's the 197th out of 203 countries he's trying to do without catching a plane to get around the world.

Pretty incredible, eh? Yeah, we were potentially going to go overseas, Ben. And what they're doing now is they're making you declare your vaccination status. But they make it quite easy, don't they? Yeah, a little bit easier now than having to take your COVID test and everything you had to do before. Turns out the trip we're going on is not happening now.

But it's just great to have... It's great to have the vaccination status up to date. Documentation. If you want to see our vaccination status, we can show you. We could go. We could travel. Do you want to see?

Yeah. But you need two. You need one for going out, so your international vaccination status, and then one for coming back in, which is just used in New Zealand. I don't know why you need... Imagine all that's going to change. Remember, we've talked about that.

We let things get away. And what happens if you're not vaxxed? I think you have to apply for special... I read there was something. If you're not, you have to apply through a whole other thing. New Zealand residents can come in vaxxed or unvaxxed, can't they? I think so. Yeah. Which has changed

again. You remember when we were like, oh my god, I've been in a place where there was COVID. Remember how panicky we got about that? Oh my god, it was at the supermarket and I was there a day later, you know? Now you're like, oh jeez. There were people wearing tinfoil hats outside Parliament

burning things. We really like, just talking to someone in the office who went to Australia on the weekend. They're like, it's not even a thing. Like, you just don't even know it's a thing. It's like we feel like we're still about six months away. We're getting there. But everyone's like, oh my God.

I mean, you know, we really let it get away with ourselves. We've got to look back. Pull yourself together, New Zealand. Yeah, yeah. Take a good... Now it's all over. We all need a good, long, hard look in the mirror. Mature, responsible responsible and considerate.

Three words we sadly can't use here. Jono and Beam on the hits. Shortest day of the year today, Ben. I threw you on the spot with a curly question. How many hours of daylight do we see today? Belle, you just looked. How many? It was five hours.

Five hours of daylight. Whew. Not many hours. Obviously, it's the shortest day, but I would have thought even still it would have more than that. It doesn't seem like. Now, as a guy who likes to. This is Google, so I don't know why. No, Google's never let me down.

It's still dark outside of the Bible. Let's find out when the daylight arrives. It's 7.31. Yeah. And then. That means it's all gone by. No. Now, as a guy who likes to get stuff done

You won't be happy It's not going to be like Yeah Imagine all the stuff You're not going to get done today Because it's not daylight Ben He's like

I'm going to start doing stuff now It's not all gone by 12.30 Like it's not dark All afternoon Okay maybe that's wrong Yeah Like it's not going to be dark I promise you

I'm on this like official No I'm not saying you're making up But like I think I got Yeah Yeah but it's not getting to The day going on guys No lights out Time to go to bed Okay so the sun rises I promise you I'm on this official website. No, I'm not saying you're making up. But I think I got, yeah. Yeah, but it's not getting to midday and going, oh, guys, no lights out. Time to go to bed.

Okay, so the sun rises. You guys, I'm not that great at maths. 7.33 comes up. 5.11 goes down. No, it's at 5 o'clock, yeah. Five hours shorter than... Oh, five hours shorter. That's all right.

That's all right. No, we got there to the end. Ben was bamboozled. He couldn't figure it out. One of the households had been bullied online, Ben. Social media bullying. You pulled a gap

as it was at you. I'm used to it. It's built character. Like I said yesterday, it motivates me. It puts fire in the belly. Does it? Fire in the furnace.

No, it kills me a little bit inside the furnace. Yeah, yeah. Me too. Like, sometimes unnecessarily we'll get tagged. We're like, where did this come from? We were just minding our own... Anyway.

So I put a photo up of the dog. And Milo, little puppy. Adorable little puppy. Cute little puppy. Comment here. Won't read the name. Your puppy sucks. It's ugly.

Now, it doesn't get much lower than bullying a puppy. Yeah. You know? Who would bully a puppy? Who bullies a puppy? But God, it made me laugh a lot. Like the troll in me enjoyed it so much. Because someone has taken time out of their day to savagely bully, online bully a puppy.

And the reason I like it so much is it's a victimless crime. The puppy's never going to know it was bullied online. Yeah. Well, Tom Hanks, you know, the actor, I was reading something about him the other day. He's got off social media. He was doing it for a while because he was like, I'll just post random things that I find interesting. I'll be like, oh, there's a really quirky pair of shoes. I'll post that and put it up.

And then he was like, without every second, third comment, you suck, Tom Hanks. You know, it's like, what? Just a pair of shoes. I'd post that and put it up. And then he was like, with every second, third comment, you suck, Tom Hanks. You know? It's like, what? Just a pair of shoes. So he's like, well, I don't need to post this thing. I don't need any more attention

in my life. I'm Tom Hanks. I'm Tom Hanks. I've got enough attention. Off social media because every third comment is like someone just saying, you suck, Hanks.

God, Hanks. Like, I'm all against it. It's terrible. But it must be fun. It must be fun trolling and bullying online. Because no one knows it's you. It can be this just whole other persona. I reckon it'll change in the future.

They're already starting to crack down on it. There'll be, people will be found, you know, they'll be fined and all sorts for that, you know. But they've had a couple of, they've had a few good years, the old trolls, haven't they? It's wild when you can think of your celebrities, the biggest celebrities in the world, and you can message them and they could read it.

They could read it. You can bully your favourite celebrities. Don't. No, we're not endorsing it. On a fake account that no one knows about. Yeah, it's crazy. It's wild. It's weird.

But then you're also like, what is missing from their lives That they have to go and You know online bully a puppy Like what dark things have happened In your childhood That has ended up with you bullying a puppy It's wild Spy know what's up

Spy.co.nz She was the belle of her ball And now she's the belle of our hourly entertainment update Belle Crawford what's going on, mate? Well, Tom Hanks, he's got a big movie coming out this week, the new Elvis movie, which a lot of people are pretty excited to see. And he's going to play Elvis' manager in it, if you're wondering what his role is about. Was he like a general or a colonel or something?

Yeah, I think, I don't know. Yeah, that was what he was called, Colonel someone. I don't know if he was an official colonel. I'd love to be called. Dr. Dre, was he an official doctor? I'm not sure. No, haven't checked his medical expertise, his credentials? No, I don't know. he was an official colonel. I'd love to be called. Dr. Dre, was he an official doctor? I'm not sure. No, haven't checked his medical expertise? No, I don't know.

He might have been. But you're right, yeah, he's Elvis' manager. It looks amazing, that movie. Yeah, I'm so excited to see it. And while he started with his successful career as an actor, of course, he said that, you know, he kind of feels like he could have made maybe other choices to help people a bit more. And he's not saying, you know, be a doctor,

be a scientist or anything. He sort of said that if he felt the same way about acting as doing something practical like laying bricks, fixing cars, or, you know, air conditioning, maybe that would have been

a good life for him as well. He would have been quite happy. Yeah, that's what he would do if he wasn't an actor. Yeah, no, I would probably mow lawns. I don't mind mowing lawns. Starting, you know,

get a Jim's Mowing franchise or something. You do love mowing lawns. That's not a joke. You do love mowing lawns. Start, you know, get a Jim's mowing franchise or something. You do love mowing lawns. That's not a joke. You do love mowing lawns. Yeah, I do. I do. I like doing, you know, the edges.

A friend of ours who works in the media as well, he likes mowing lawns because he's like, you know when the job is done. Yeah. Like, you know, when sometimes when you're doing something, you're like, I could always make that a bit better. But when you get to the lawn, you're like, that's perfect. The grass, the thing is, it's done. It's perfect.

I'm done. I'm leaving. Boris, like something else, you're like, oh, I could just work on this a little bit, a bit better but when you get to the lawn you're like that's perfect the grass the thing is it's done it's perfect I'm done I'm leaving Boris like something else you're like oh I could just work on this little bit a bit better

you know you're right Ben yeah you're right satisfaction in completing a job now on the spot what would you do

if you weren't doing this talk to me baby what would what's Ben Boyce's plan B this all turns to custard

yeah no I try I started writing ads so you know like wrote you know like wrote ads back in the day so I was sort of

going back into writing stuff commercial writing Novus shows you crack of course I wrote that wonderful jingle yeah write more jingles write more innuendo jingles

yeah write more annoying ads on the radio you know those things you hate about radio yeah I'm responsible for those how do you like that now I've just researched

Colonel Thomas Andrew Parker. Not a colonel. Not a colonel. Just a great nickname. He's born in the Netherlands. Dutch. Snuck into America illegally. Oh.

Yeah, and then just became sort of an entertainment manager guy, calling himself the colonel. I'm going to call myself Colonel. Hey? But basically, you know, helped bring Elvis to the world. So pretty incredible amazing stuff good on you Tom and also Hayley Bieber and Justin have both had some pretty big health scares recently now Hayley actually had a stroke and not that long after Justin's recovering from Ramsey

Hunt syndrome which has given him face paralysis on half the side of his face you may have seen the videos and Hayley was on Jimmy Fallon and gave us an update. But I'm doing okay. He's also doing okay. Obviously, it's been a weird turn of events the last couple months and the last even few days. But he's okay, and he's going to be totally okay. He's okay?

So is his face moving again now? Not yet, but just rest and time. And he's had to postpone a lot of shows, but they've been working him so hard since he was young. Probably not really had much of a rest. We spoke to NTO, Hollywood Insider. He's like, why doesn't he just do six big stadium tours,

get it done with. And we call it the let's get it over with tour. No one wants to, I don't want to be here. You guys might want to be here. Let's just get it done. Last time he was in New Zealand, he looked bored on stage. He didn't seem interested. He just was over it. Yeah, but I mean, he would do so many shows.

You know, you have one. How many lackluster radio shows do we do? Well, geez, that was good. Thank God there's another one tomorrow. He'd have the same approach about doing concerts, except there's 80,000 people watching you do your job. Paid good money to go see, yeah.

And that is Spire. You can get more now at thehits.co.nz The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Jono's internet wormhole. Yeah, welcome to the internet wormhole.

Sometimes I get distracted on the internet. We all do. We're all guilty of it, aren't we? We are, yeah. It's the world's greatest time waster.

They say babies are the greatest time waster. No, the internet is. You forget you've got a baby when you're on the internet. You're right. Before the internet, it was babies. You're like, where's the baby? I think it's driving the car. But there's an article on North Korea how up until recently,

they were reporting no COVID, zero cases of COVID out of North Korea, Kim Jong-un. And I think he was refusing any outside help, didn't want vaccination imported into the country, none of that stuff from the Wild West. And now they're reporting 18,820 cases of fever.

Not COVID though, just fever. They've got a fever outbreak at the moment in North Korea. And then there was a side article on things you, 25 things you didn't know went on inside North Korea. Did you know any of these things? To be fair, my knowledge of what goes on inside North Korea, very limited, so I didn't know any of these things.

So they will surprise you because it's just a shut-off society. 25 million people in North Korea. 25 million, wow. 25 million. And if I go mysteriously disappearing by revealing any of this information you'll know what happened to me I'm on annual leave

I'm on annual leave but recently they banned mullets not allowed to have a mullet not allowed to have ear piercings, no piercing skinny jeans, you mate you'd be massacred in North Korea with your skinny legs and your skinny jeans. You can have a high fade, though, right?

Or is that just Kim? That's a state-sanctioned high fade. He does run a beautiful fade, doesn't he? I get my hair done quite regularly, but more than me, as always. Next time you're going, can you go get a Kim Jong? Let's get Ben a Kim Jong on, yes! Don't look at B-Hubs and say yes jong oh yes don't don't look at b hubs

and say yes you guys don't have to walk around we need to do something in the next couple of weeks you know like a lot of that not that ben gets a kim jong on i'd rather get a john o'brien than a kim jong imagine if one of us is he got a haircut like kim jong on oh yeah uh i mean he's really stereotyped that fade, isn't he, nowadays? The communist regime has apparently got 15 non-socialist haircuts that you can have the high fade as one of those. They want to keep it free from the decadent Western fashion trends, Ben. Right, fair enough. Which you understand.

So rollerblading, wildly popular in North Korea. Is it? They love rollerblading. Rollerblading everywhere. Wait until they find out you get mercilessly mocked for rollerblading. I'd love to see Kim on some rollerblades. Jeezy would be fun on some rollerblades, wouldn't he? Drug use.

Now this is one that really surprised me. This is in North Korea. Drug use rampant. They reckon 30% to 40 percent of the population bearing in mind there's 25 million people so 30 to 40 percent of the population hooked on drugs in particular meth wow methamphetamine which is getting stuff done getting stuff and it's the exact reason it's an appetite suppressant so workers don't have to eat while toiling away for long hours in farms factories and other trades trades. Say what you want about meth, but it gets results.

Oh, jeez. And they also ship a lot of it off to China, apparently. State-funded meth program there in North Korea. Also, home to the biggest stadium in the world. Really? 150,000 seat stadium. Wow. It's just

a flex, isn't it? Oh, but yeah. Even Ed Sheeran would get nervous about selling out there. He'd be like, I don't know if we can get all these. How are these North Korea tickets going, mate? There's three Eden Parks. Imagine how big Eden Park is when you were there on Saturday. Times three. Insane. They have elections, believe it or not.

Do they? They do have elections. However, you can only vote for one person. Your choice in the ballot is whether you vote for the candidate or decide to vote against them however if you vote against them that involves placing your ballot in a separate box and having your identity noted uh-oh and i'm sure it's all about board i'm sure they just want to go around and go hey hey, well, thank you for participating in the election. And they've got their own time zone. They operate half an hour.

They operate on the half hour, which is different to any other time in the country. They are fascinating facts. North Korea facts, guys. Jono's internet out. Jeez, that was long. Sorry, I rambled. Yeah, I was trying to wrap you up after two minutes.

You were really into it. No, it was passionate. Passionate performance. Thank you. It was good. I was trying to wrap you up after two minutes. That was it. Sorry, it was passionate. Passionate performance. Thank you. It was good. I was trying to wrap you up. Sorry to interrupt.

Once he gets started, he keeps going. Old man rambling here. If you're heading to work in Wellington this morning, trains, it looks like another schmuzzle with the trains this morning. They're running a Saturday timetable due to some disruptions. So, yeah, if you can find another way of getting to work, maybe that's the best idea. Jono and Ben's Rush for Gold. Gold Rush with George Ezra.

Is that the official word from the train industry? It's been a shamozzle? Yeah, shamozzle. I know, I just wanted to use the word shamozzle. That's a beautiful word to use. Hey, now George Ezra has got a brand new album. It's called Gold Rush Kid. And yesterday we thought we were giving away

the final lot of money, but we couldn't give it away, so we're doing it again today. Pretty simple. If you've registered at the hits.co.nz, we send out poor hits employees around the country first thing in the morning in cold winter's days to question why on earth they got into radio to linger outside your house. You've got 60 seconds to run out of your house, claim the cash. It's the rush for gold in the mad flap, in between brushing your teeth, putting your pants on your legs. You've also got to win a radio competition.

Every moment counts at this time of the morning, and we're going to cross now to Taranaki. The wonderful Beth. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast, Beth. Morena, guys. I'm in place in Taranaki. It's still dark. It's cold.

I haven't even had my first coffee of the morning, but I'm really hoping we've got a winner who's going to rush out for gold. Yes, well, so do we. So there's an actual point for you getting up first thing in the morning, Beth. Now, we met you last week, Beth. You had a wonderful Beth from New Plymouth. Yeah, you sure did. It was great to meet you guys and looking forward to you last week, Beth. You had a wonderful Beth from New Plymouth. Yeah, you sure did. It was great to meet you guys

and looking forward to you coming and visiting us. Now, you're driving the car with our obnoxiously large faces all over it? Yep, sure am. How much abuse are you getting in that vehicle every day? Oh, look, my teenage daughters love it. Their friends think it's fantastic driving around with Jono and Ben on the back of a car.

You're a hit. I don't burden our faces on anyone's car, so I feel sorry for you, Beth, driving around with it. But anyway, let's get to it. Whose house are you outside? They have 60 seconds to come out. Right. So, as you pointed out, I'm in Taramaki.

The suburb I'm in this morning is Wellborn and I am waiting for Jenny. Your time starts now. Jenny in Wellborn. You've got 60 seconds to come out. Listen, if you're annoyed that we've woken you up,

you can blame it on George Ezra. Blame it on me. That was the song. That was what you're doing there? Just a subtle reference there. Any sign of life there, Beth? Oh, it's pretty darn cold. Windy as hell.

No lights on. I can see the light. I can see the light. You've got a car down the driveway, though. Oh, $600 up for grabs right now. Are we going to go to another unprecedented another day? Well, George Ezra is getting banged for his buck with this campaign if we go to a Wednesday, Ben.

He better be plugging a barbecue at one place when he comes to New Zealand as well. Beth, you sound like you're in the middle of a hurricane. Is there anyone coming out of the house? There's no sign of life. Should I get a bit closer? 15 seconds, come on. Come on, Jenny.

I've got to get a little bit closer to the house. Jenny, can you get out and claim $600? If not, we're going to play it one more time. Oh, look. There's a car around the back. Two. One. It's not going to happen.

Oh, thank you so much for getting up early. As Jono said before, it was a complete waste of your time. I don't know what's happened to our Jenny. She must be asleep. There's someone up in her house, but she is going to absolutely kick herself when she realises she didn't win. No, okay, well, let's keep this quiet for Jenny.

Everyone stay hush on this. Beth, good luck driving around copping abuse in the hits vehicle with our faces on it. Thank you very much. No worries, guys. Have a great day. Appreciate it. Hey, next.

Oh, Jenny's on the phone. Oh, hold on. a great day. Appreciate it. Hey, Nick. Oh, Jenny's on the phone. Oh, hold on. Hold the phone. Okay. Jenny, we've just been messaged by producer Behance. We'll get you on New Zealand. Jenny, you're on the air. What went on, Jenny?

Hi. Where are you? They actually went to the wrong house. At the wrong fuddy. Oh. Contentious. At the wrong whare. Oh, contentious. We won't hand out, let's not hand out any addresses on here. How have we ended up at the wrong house, Jimbo? Oh, when Sam entered the competition,

I didn't realise that it was my old address because we had just recently moved. And so I have re-done it with my old family address. She's put in her old address. Oh, Ben. Jenny. I'm so gutted. You know what, Jenny?

Yeah? We've looked at the rules. And unfortunately, you can't win. Okay, okay. No, just kidding. We'll give you $600, mate. $600 is all yours, all right? Oh, my God.

Thank you so, so much. Oh, well, you're very welcome. It's all thanks to George Ezra's brand-new album out now, which is called Gold Rush Kid. Well done, $600. Oh, my God. Thank you so much. Hi, Drew.

I was, like, freaking out because I knew I had the wrong address. I was like, oh my God, please don't go to the old address. And as soon as I saw Valbon, I'm like, oh my God. Hi, Drama Genbo, you've won the money. Thanks, George Ezra. Thanks, Beth. Thanks, Ben. And thank you, Aotearoa.

Scrolling through your feed. This is the only news service with less respect from the industry than Fox News. Ben, what's going on? It's the shortest day today, and New Zealand has entered its darkest week of the year. That sounds quite ominous, doesn't it, when you say it like that? Mind you, there's been some dark times recently. Yeah, of course, on Friday will be Matariki, the first time it's marked by a public holiday for the first time. But temperatures, you would have noticed, across the country have tumbled.

Some inland areas set to reach zero over today and tomorrow. Alexandra is top one degree on Monday morning. Queenstown was zero degrees. Auckland at nine degrees. So everyone was going, oh, it's cold in Auckland. Yeah, it was. But think of a zero degrees yesterday. I hate it when you do that to me, when I'm like, it's

cold, but you're like, you're in Auckland, but you could be somewhere else. You're nine degrees warmer than anywhere else. I'm still cold, though. I'm still cold. You can't complain. Today and Wednesday are expected to be the coldest days, and things pick up a bit better on Thursday. I do like a crisp cold day

sometimes. You look up at the stars, don't you? Perfect for Matariki. Talking about the shortest day, we figured out five hours less sunlight or daylight, sorry, than you'd usually get. And in Invercargill, someone texted in 4487

saying it gets the days shorter the further south you get. There's sunrise, 8.30 this morning. Really? And the sun will set at 5.06pm in Invercargill today. Wow. There you go. Thank you for contributing.

That's really interesting. Now, a hashtag relatable parent content from the Prime Minister yesterday, as she put on Instagram stories. In the office kitchen making the strongest possible tea, about to do her morning media round, wondering how many other parents have a three-year-old that suddenly gets up all through the night. Tips welcome. Well, firstly, strongest possible tea maybe isn't what every parent goes for.

Get some coffee in you, mate. Do you not drink coffee, the Prime Minister? I'm a coffee drinker. No. I'm guessing. I don't know. I mean, I'm... Obviously had a nightmare Tuesday, Monday night with Eve.

Yeah. Ben Humphrey was saying he was nightmare Tuesday, Monday night with Eve, Neve. Yeah. Ben Humphrey was saying he was up and down all night with his little baby Dottie as well. And you were up and down the night before. I had a nightmare night with you. Yeah, you did. Changed my nappies three times. Wouldn't feed me.

I was like, feed me from the source. You're like, I don't have any. I was like, I'll give it a go. And that is weirdly what's making news. Maybe not that last stuff. Just a drop. It's Jono and Ben's general smell election. Whoa, who would have thought we'd end up here when we started this a week ago?

Well, probably most people who can grasp the basic structure of a tournament probably knew we'd end up here, Ben. Yeah, well, true. It's been a lot of fun, and thank you so much to everyone that's voted along the way. We're looking for New Zealand's best to smell. Some hotly contested rounds. People have some real favourites out there. Started with about 15, and we whittled them down to two thanks to your votes,

and the final was... The final round bacon cooking this is freshly baked bread the voting line has been open for 24 hours been taking texts floods of texts 750,000

calls to 0800 the hits on this bigger than cash and card bigger than cash and card and that was huge I don't know if that's, don't check your stats. But it's now time to announce the winner. Kick the music. Here we go. We love this dramatic music. Little ropey, like us.

Thank you to Edendale Primary School for providing the awards music from their recorder class this morning. We're going to go through to the winner, and it was a close victory, but with about 62% of the votes, the winner of the first smell action. Let's go through. All right, let's call someone. Hey, morning, Clean and Bakery. Congratulations.

Oh, wow, okay. Thank you. What did we win, buddy? Congratulations. Bread. The smell of freshly baked bread. Oh, wow, okay. freshly baked bread has taken out our first annual inaugural smell action.

It's New Zealand's favourite smell, the smell of freshly baked bread. Oh wow, okay. Thank you to the listeners, I guess. What do you want to say to your people? Yeah, Kenan Bakery loves everybody.

We love the community here. One of New Zealand's best bakeries say to your people? Yeah, Kenan Bakery loves everybody. Oh. Yeah, we love the community here. One of New Zealand's best bakeries we're reading and you get to work with bread

cooking every day. Does the novelty wear off? Not at the moment, so yeah. As the official spokesperson for freshly baked bread.

Yeah, thanks to all our listeners and to all those who voted, I Baked Bread. Yeah, thanks to all the listeners and to all those who voted, I guess. Yeah, and we really appreciate it. Very good, very good. All right. Okay, and what's happening in the future? What are you looking to do?

Just business as usual, I guess. Yeah, keep the hot bread coming. Keep the hot bread coming. Back to work, back to making that delicious smelling bread. Yep. Thank you very much, buddy. All right. Have a hot bread coming. Back to work. Back to making that delicious smelling bread. Yep. Thank you very much, buddy. All right. Have a great day.

See you, mate. Okay, cheers, guys. Okay, you have a good one. Thank you. Very gracious. Gracious winner. Bread. The smell of freshly baked bread beat out bacon.

And the winner of the first annual Smell Action. What annual now, is it? I like it. I like it. We'll bring it back next year. Has it got another year? Oh, yeah, I think so. It was a lot of fun.

I enjoyed it. You enjoyed it? Yeah, Bill, you thought it was great. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. Bit of post-analysis on the whole event. Okay. Warning.

This show contains Jono and or Ben. Jono and Ben on the hits. Hey, Ben, I started the show actually declaring my plight for trying to hang a picture on the hallway hall, knocking on the wall, looking for the stud and not knowing what I was doing or what I have to listen out for. I've just seen people do it. Yeah. Seems like something you have to do. Now, this is continuing on with my handiwork-themed content.

Yeah, I was thinking that when I looked at the rest of you. It's like Dono talks about his chores on the radio this morning. A lot of stuff that's been backing up, piling up. And for about six weeks now, light bulbs have been slowly going out in the house and slowly turning into darkness. Like, hello darkness, my old friend. It's the darkest week of the year in New Zealand.

Not an ideal year not to have light bulbs in. But you know when one goes out, it's not worth changing just the one. You ride it out until there's about half a dozen on the blink and then you... A lot of people do it with the headlights as well on their car, which I don't think is recommended. Just have one headlight?

Yeah. So I cleared them all out yesterday and I was like, right, I'm going to go to Bunnings Warehouse, which is a very confusing adult playground, Bunnings Warehouse. Yeah. You walk in there and no one knows where they're going.

No one knows where to find what they're looking for. Yeah, I said before, just adults looking around, looking up, looking lost. With their hands on their hips. Squinting. I'm sure I was there. You know, you have lost children things at like, you know, Easter shows and stuff.

They have lost adults at Bunnings where kids can go and say hey dad look at my dad he was down aisle 4 before but he's looks at the taps but I mean

it's amazing they've got everything but you're right just a little look around like where was I and hey their staff

are so helpful like you ask any Bunnings employee where something is in that giant warehouse they know everything

they do you start walking on one side of a Bunnings, by the time you reach the other side, you're in South Korea. That's how big those things are. So anyway, I went to the light.

I found the light bulb section after about 45 minutes. And can I just make a plea to the Ardern government? There are too many light bulbs with too many different light bulb screw bits That you screw into the Because I got home None of the light bulbs fit the fittings Then I had to go back

There's so many light bulbs in the game In the market that Bunnings have a special Light bulb assistant Whose job it is is just to patrol up and down The light bulb aisle What are you looking for? ED24 there? Yeah no that's not going to fit So this is my plea The EU have decided to vote for up and down the light bulb aisle. What are you looking for? Oh, ED24 there. Yeah, no, that's not going to fit.

So this is my plea. The EU have decided to vote for just one international cell phone charging cable. Plugs into all phones. Yeah, so whether you're Android, whether you're Apple, you're right. The same one for everyone. Yeah, they've passed that legislation.

Now Ardern, I know you're dealing with gangs and cost of living crises and all sorts of petrol prices and things like that. But let's all just have one light bulb. Okay? This has been Crap Liberty. Jono Pryor putting my good name to a worthy cause. One light bulb, one fitting.

We all know what we're in for. Okay? I don't know if that's going to happen. Donate today. If you'd like to donate, $10 to 4487. What are you paying for? Credit card details. No.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Hey, this is Ed Sheeran. Jono and Ben's five words for five Eds. That's really cool that he said that. Hey, this is Ed Sheeran just for us and just for that competition. Right now we've got five double passes to give away. Don't tell me otherwise, Jono. Don't tell me otherwise.

I'm going to ruin this industry for you. Five double passes to give away. Don't tell me otherwise, Jono. Don't tell me otherwise. I'm not going to ruin this industry for you. Five double passes to Ed Sheeran. How cool is that? That could be won by just one person if they match all five words with our five words. Ed Sheeran's mathematics tour is even bigger. Already sold out shows in Auckland and in Wellington, so he's added one more. Well, remember, we could just take these tickets for ourselves. Oh, no, I'd love to go.

It looks amazing. I'd love to go. It looks amazing. I'd love to go too. Circular stage. At the moment, he said it's his biggest and coolest performance ever. That's what he said after he said, hey, this is Ed Sheeran. He's like, by the way, it's my biggest and coolest performance ever. Don't record that bit, though. Yeah.

There was a glory day where you could take any prizes from radio stations. Remember? They had a prize cupboard. Yeah. They placed a lot of faith in the radio industry not to steal from the price cupboard, and this is a dishonest industry. Do you know how many Three Doors Down CDs I sold at Real Groovy?

You took the Three Doors Down to Real Groovy, didn't you? Yeah, the guy at Real Groovy was like, how come you like Three Doors Down so much, you bought the same album 20 times? I didn't realise I had it, and then I bought it 20 more times. But we don't steal tickets nowadays! They've got cameras in the office now and digital tracking and things.

Becca, what crimes have you committed at work? I'm going to plead the fifth on that one, mate. Good on you. Fair enough. Don't talk into a microphone and admit your crimes. You're in Christchurch. Gee whiz, must be chilly. Yeah, it's a bit nipply out today.

You know, nine degrees in Auckland, mate. Nine degrees. How cold do you reckon it is down there? It's seven degrees. Oh, yeah, you think you're colder than us? You probably are. All right, Becca, who are you going to send into the soundproof booth to match words with?

We'd like to send Ben to the booth, please. Ben's going in. Now, you and nine others going to Ed Sheeran, and that's a blimmin' hire a minivan situation to transport to and from. Have you got the nine people in your head who you'd take along? Yeah, I think I can manage nine other people, no problem.

All right, Becca. Okay. You know how the game works. The first words that come into your head. Okay. Bowser. Bowser. Bowser. Mario.

Mario. What? Bowser. Bowser. Mario? Mario Bowser. I don't know. It is a Bowser.

A Bowser. Are you talking about from like the petrol station behemoths? Oh, yeah. And listen, I don't want to put words in your mouth, but just say petrol. Oh, okay. Let's go with petrol then. Yeah, petrol is an odd word. It's a very confusing word to begin with.

Frost is the second word for you this morning, Bex. Frost bite? Can I be frost bite first? Frost bite? Frost bite. Word number three, human. Being. Being? Can I be Frostbite first? Frostbite? Frostbite. Word number three, human. Being.

Being? Flag is the fourth word. Flag? Flag. Did you say flag like flying the flag? Yep. Can I come back to that one? No worries. And click was word number five this morning for you, Becca.

Click. Remote? Remote? My phone's not helping me at all. I was going to say like McDonald's. Click. Oh, you're going seatbelt. Seatbelt.

Yeah, no, that's a good one. And we'll go to word number four again. Flag? New Zealand? I don't know. New Zealand flag. All right. They were some tricky words for you this morning, Bex.

We'll get Ben out of the soundproof booth. Now I want to redo. Can I get new words? She wants new words, Ben. Not happy with those words? This is not good for me coming back into this. All right, here we go. I'll do my best.

Okay. Word number one, bowser. B-O-W-S-E-R. Well, I know this word because Jono always talks about the petrol bowser. Petrol bowser. Put it in your car. I didn't even know this was a thing until I started working with Jono. So can I lock in petrol?

How much am I annoying you with petrol bowser? He loves you. He's even got a voice when I'm talking about it. Put the bowser in. Frost, the second word this morning. Frost. Frost. Bite. Two from two, Bex. Word number three.

Human. Person? That's where we bow out of the Ed Sheeran tickets. Human being. Flag was the fourth word. Pole. New Zealand and word number five was click. Oh, the seatbelt. Becca, not too bad.

Oh, they were hard words. I'm with you, Becca. Yeah, redo. Redo. Let's do new words. Yeah, redo. I agree. That's good for at least six tickets, isn't it?

Love your work, Becca. Thank you so much for listening. Go and have a great day at the Arda Institute in Christchurch. They've got pranks. They've got puns. Now they just need some actual listeners. Jono and Ben on the hits. We do something called the one-take call

where we give each other an opportunity to record what we think a phone conversation could go like and then we ring up someone and we play that recording down to them to find out if they will pick whether it's a recording or not. It turns down the worst calling method in telecom telco history. Yeah.

But we keep persisting with it. Like, it just keeps going backwards every time. It's like a KiwiSaver fund. It doesn't quite work, because you've got to leave gaps, you've got to predict who you're talking to, you've got to try and anticipate a lot of things. And today I want you, Jono, to record a message. We're going to call a cafe or a restaurant. You're going to make a booking, all right? So I need to record my parts now.

Okay, good luck. Here we go. Hi, Helen. How are you? How are the kids, little Timmy and sweet, sweet little Susie. Are they growing up? Yeah, yeah. So, Helen, hey, listen, I was just wanting to make a reservation to the restaurant to eat the food. There's about 10 of us. 9.30 Thursday morning.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 9.30 Thursday morning yeah yeah yeah yeah so did you did you hear did you did you have that joke that you wanted to tell me

awesome great stuff you're the best alright bye very specific wow you've really very specific you've gone there you've really mixed things up this week yeah Bye. Very specific. Wow.

Very specific. You've gone there. You've really mixed things up this week. Well, listen, I feel that none of these are going to be a success. Well, this one's definitely not going to be a success. So we might. We started with, hey, Helen. We don't even know if we're calling her Helen. There's a lot of names out there in the market.

And if we strike a Helen, this will be a wonderful moment, Ben. It will be. All right. Well, we'll get you to phone a restaurant or cafe now and get you to place the booking with that recorded message and we'll see if they notice. Hello Toad Hall.

Hi Helen, how are you? Sorry, this is Toad Hall. How are the kids, little little Timmy? Sorry, this is Toad Hall. And sweet, sweet little Susie. Are they growing up?

I'm not sure, sorry. Did you want to speak with Toad Hall? Hey, listen, I was just wanting to make a reservation. Reservation at Toad Hall? To the restaurant. Yeah, sure thing. What time and how many people? To eat the food.

Yeah. Sorry, what time and how many people? There's about 10 of us. 10 people? Is this today? 9.30 Thursday morning. 9.30 Thursday morning,.30 Thursday morning sure thing and what was your name and phone number please

yeah yeah what was your name and phone number please so did you have that joke that you wanted to tell me um no sorry great stuff you're the best all right bye cool thank you bye are you there are

you there yeah it's john i'm being calling from the hits radio station oh hey how you going this is a lot to get your head around now what you were just talking to was a recorded message of john oh we wanted to see if you would notice. Okay. You battled on through. That's the thing I loved about it. Even though Jono was calling you Helen and saying all sorts of stuff. Talking about your kids. Do you even have kids? No, I don't have any kids. I've got a dog. It worked about 30%

correctly throughout that phone call, but we want to send you a prize for mucking around, alright? Okay, sweet. Thank you. You were far too polite and you stayed on there for way too long Thank you, cheers, bye If you're here for advice on life You're in big trouble

Jono and Ben on the hits Wellington commuters facing another day of train disruptions There's a software problem It's causing chaos So obviously a few people getting Maybe raging a little bit To go to a hint of this next thing we're going to talk about, about the trains not working today as well as you should.

They're on the weekend timetable. Anyone from radio school listening, that was a wonderful runway you just gave me. I did. And to what you want to talk about right now, little things that sort of wind you up. Unreasonable rage. Now, I was just having this conversation with my wife yesterday. She saw something on instagram and she basically said the rage the

unreasonable rage i get when i'm in the kitchen preparing a meal and another person walks in the kitchen it's unfit and she's like oh this is what i do she's like if i if i step into the kitchen when jennifer's in there cooking back off mate really there's sharp there's sharp objects around she's what's the thing for here yeah but i like master chef would be her nightmare there's like 52 of them in one kitchen and a camera in there a clock what are you doing now reminding you of your time yeah and that's just like it's just one of those things it gives me unreasonable i know i know it's unreasonable but it just rages me and it's the the same thing with my cell phone. My cell phone case has a rubber exterior. It's got a rubber case.

Right, yeah. But just given the nature of the substance, it's very clingy in my pockets. I can't just slide a phone in my pockets. I have to push it down. It gets caught on the other fabric. The rubber sticks to the fabric. So this winds you up, does it? Every morning.

I'm trying to put a phone in my pocket. And it's like halfway poking out of my back pocket because I can't slide it down. It's funny, those little things. Again, I know there's bigger issues in the world, but unreasonable rage. But it's nice to get these sort of things off your chest. Well, the way I wash my hands for my wife,

because I'm always washing my hands, but apparently it's a squelchy noise that I do. And I'll go to the kitchen and wash my hands and be making this squelchy sort of noise. Oh, do you get the air pocket? My wife's like, just wash. And I do. And I'll go to the kitchen and wash my hands and be making this squelchy noise. Oh, do you get the air pocket? My wife's like, just wash. And I'm like, I'm washing my hands. I've been cleaning up here.

And then you just wash your hands. You can do it again and again. You know, like when I'm cleaning and I'm doing cooking dinner and stuff. How many times a day on average would you wash your hands? Oh, a lot, mate. Over 10? Yeah, I'd say so, over 10.

Over 10 times a day? Oh, especially when I'm preparing lunches and dinners and all sorts of stuff, you know? Yeah, see, I can see why that would give Amanda rage. Yeah, I'd say so. Over 10 times a day. Oh, especially when I'm preparing lunches and dinners and all sorts of stuff, you know? Yeah, I can see why that would give Amanda rage. Yeah, yeah. But for me, it's a little, there's a guy I know, let's say, who makes a noise out through his nose. Oh, jeez, not this again. Like a dragon expelling the last bit after a flame.

Just a little. He has an issue with me breathing. Just making it. You've been here for about five weeks now. Have you noticed any issues with my breathing? You do do that sometimes. I have not. Because, you know, we've all got our little things.

Yeah. He's just. It's just all the time. It's a basic human requirement. No, no. Stop breathing. I's a basic human requirement. I'm like, no, stop breathing. I never said breathe all day, but just don't make a scene about it. How's he allowed to breathe?

Apparently not like that. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Not out through the nose. Out through the mouth. That's a real old man thing. Anyway, that's just the thing. Unreasonable, I know. Okay, so Ben's got an issue with the mail. That's a real old man thing, mate. Anyway, that's just the thing. Unreasonable, I know. Okay, so Ben's got an issue with me breathing.

That's fine. It's just the thing we've got. Okay, 0800, that's the telephone number. What have you got unreasonable rage about? We'll get your calls and texts on very shortly. 4487 if you'd like to text us soon. Get off your chest. It feels good, doesn't it?

It feels good. Maybe it doesn't feel good for Joe, but it feels good for me right now. I'm crying a little bit on the inside. If they were the internet, you'd want to clear us soon. Get off your chest, it feels good, doesn't it? It feels good. Maybe it doesn't feel good for Joe, but it feels good for me right now. I'm crying a little bit on the inside. If they were the internet, you'd want to clear this history. Jono and Ben, on the hits.

Talking about unreasonable rage, what you have unreasonable rage towards, a wonderful text here. My unreasonable rage is the condensation under my hot toast. When you put the toast down flat on the plate

and you end up with a soggy bottom. Oh, yeah. No one wants a soggy bottom on the toast. I understand put the toast down flat on the plate and you end up with a soggy bottom. No one wants a soggy bottom on the toast. I understand that. That does give you rage. Well, not rage, but I understand the inconvenience of it, but it's okay. I understand that it upsets people. Lisa on 0800, the hits, your

unreasonable rage. Oh, look, that's my pet peeve coming up to a T intersection, there is a vehicle in the middle at the front of the T intersection indicating to go right. But hey, there's space for two cars. Why don't you move over to the right so I can go to the left and turn left? Oh, so you don't like being stuck behind a right-turning motorist, which they're well within their rights to do. I get it, but you know what also winds me up in that environment

is when you are the right-turning motorist and someone sneaks in the left and then takes that left turn and blocks your view. Yes, you know this. Well, that's true, actually. That's a fair call because I've got a smaller car, and if it's a larger vehicle, then I'm absolutely stuffed. I can't turn.

You know, you've got to be safe. It's all about safety. I know, but you know, no one's in the wrong. Everyone's allowed to be doing what they're doing, but geez, it gets me going, Elise. Oh, that's so funny. I just had somebody pop into my office and she goes, my peeve is when people don't say thank you if you do let

them in that's another big one that winds me up as well it's just like thank you just a little just a finger waggle or a little something yeah flick on the hazards for a couple of flashes exactly just be courteous about it yeah at least thank you very much the unreasonable rage this morning appreciate your time tr much. The unreasonable rage this morning. Appreciate your time. Tracey, good morning. Unreasonable rage at what? Oh, I can't cope when people are chewing food nearly. It just drives me nuts.

Oh, even like at a dinner table if you're sitting someone near, if they're just in the vicinity? Exactly. And the worst thing is like pork crackling. It's like we've got a family thing happening in my house. If we have pork crackling, we've all got to eat it at the same time because it just makes me so... I can get it because once you start thinking about someone chewing, you can't notice anything else but the sound of them chewing, right?

Oh, it's awful. Actually, my uncle's got it too. It's mythophobia, and when he has his dinner, he has the radio on because he just can't cope. I mean, your other option is you go to dinner with headphones on. There is that choice. It kind of ruins the mood somewhat. Why is Tracy sitting in the restaurant with headphones on?

And so pork crackling, you're really, really quite specific on your reference there. How much pork crackling are you consuming? You have no idea. You have no idea. You have no idea. It's like an instant rage. It is so awful. And right in your ear, and it's like, oh. So a packet of chips would be your worst enemy. Yeah, I usually try to eat at the same time.

Yeah, right. It sounds so silly. I know. It's not silly. It's always been there. This is why we're doing this topic today. It's not silly. Yeah.

Hey, Tracy, well, thank you very much. Ben, have you got an apple or something that Tracy could? Oh, no, I haven't got anything. He usually comes in there. I've got some pork crackling here that I could just start sucking into. We'll all eat at the same time. Good on you, Tracy. Really appreciate your time.

You have a great day. No worries. You too. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Spilling the tea on Hollywood's A-listers. Kardashians. I have met every single one. Exposing scandals. She's not a good person, but either is he. Digging

the dirt. Is she a diva? Yes. And finding out what's going on behind the scenes. Killing a cast member. Yes. It was a script. No. His identity is a secret. But his stories have been proven right time and time again. This is Enty. All right, he's inside more of Hollywood than Botox.

He's our dear friend, Enty. How are you guys? We're doing all right. How are you doing? We're a bit worried about where you live because your president fell off a bike we saw yesterday. He did. He did. You know, I mean, I don't know very many 80-year-olds who off a bike we saw yesterday. He did. He did. You know, I mean, I don't know very many 80-year-olds who ride a bike.

It seemed like a very dangerous activity for someone of his age. He was stopped, though. You know, he was stopped. He was stopped. Yeah, he was stopped. It was definitely made for a round of memes on the internet. And he fell like Sleepy Joe. He fell in a sleepy fashion,

very slow. Yeah, it was almost like somebody slowed it down for us so we could really get a good look. He's like, he seems like a lovely guy.

Is he really the best person out of everyone in America? He's the guy. I mean, he's the guy. I'm trying to think of other 80-year-old presidents

and whether or not they could ride a bike. Reagan, Trump. Trump never got on a bike. All right, let's look at some. Actually, just one I was just reading just before, and I'm not sure if you're across this at all, but there were rumors that Chris Rock and The Rock, Dwayne Johnson, have been asked to host the Emmys this year.

Do you think there's any chance that those two could host together? I think that would be a great idea. I know why they picked Chris Rock, because they want to capitalize on the Oscar thing. But I would have chosen The Rock and Kevin Hart. Yeah. Because they have the relationship together. To me, that would be a much better pairing than Chris Rock and The Rock.

But then you get two Rockss so I see the advertising. Good puns, good puns. Yeah, great puns and I see the follow-up from Oscars and they could do a Will Smith skit or pretend that Dwayne Johnson's gonna hit Chris Rock, but I just think that as far as chemistry goes, if you don't know how they're gonna be

together, that you know for a fact Kevin Hart and The Rock have great chemistry together. I mean, look how many movies they've done together. It's electric. It's a Jono and Ben chemistry life. Back when we cared about each other. Hey, Andy, we were reading the other day that,

obviously there's a documentary on Jennifer Lopez, but I was reading that there's a rumor she insured her buttocks for $27 million. What? Her buttocks for $27 million. Her what, sorry? Her buttocks, her butt. So do you think that something like this could be possible? Are celebrities insuring their body parts? Well, she did not do that. She just let that rumor go because it was advantageous for her.

My thing about the documentary is she had final approval on that documentary. It makes her look awful you know i didn't want to share the stage with shakira i don't think shakira's dance is culturally relevant or important and what i do is that oh my gosh i i do not for the life of me understand how she gave approval to that because it just makes her look horrible yeah she could have been like can we just chop out that shakira stuff i know what you're saying yeah before the the rehearsals even started and i i talked about how she didn't want shakira there and you know she wanted to do it all herself but the thing is is she's not popular enough to do it completely on her own and everybody shares the stage at the super bowl nobody gets to be by themselves i mean lady gaga was for the most part but lady gaga has much you know tons more

relatable hits than jennifer lopez plus lady gaga actually sings so you know she's gonna get that kind of thing but everybody shares the stage and you know jennifer lopez is just way out of bound yeah well you know she cares just available whenever, wherever. So I guess she was the only one that was optional. Have you guys had her on your show? Shakira? No, she looks awesome. She looks awesome.

Yeah, she's gorgeous. She should come on your show. Okay, we'll get Shakira. Get Shakira from the 90s on our show. NT, great to hear from you, mate. You have a safe week and we'll catch up with you next time. Sounds great, you guys. Take care.

With a long and extinguished career. Jono and Ben on the hits. Woke up yesterday morning in the house, and there was a notice. You know one of those notices you see around town where you rip off the little things with the numbers and stuff? And it was like missing pets and things. Yeah, or you want something. You want a massage. You want a thing. You want a thing, and you give a call back up i don't know wait for me hold on what message are you yeah well you want to be a street poster

it was a poor example that seems legit yeah so it was all and it had on the sign it was bracelet stuff the new bracelet store in town in town i was like what was it two doors away bracelets by indy my daughter and she had a whole thing if you want a bracelet 50 cents rip the tag off down below and then business called bracelet stuff yeah bracelet stuff by indy and then it was like cool call the number and so i went and knocked on her door and i was like i had 50 cents i was like hey i'd like to like a bracelet hello and she was very big on the role play. She was like, no, you need to call.

I'm sorry. We deal with the business through the phone conversation first. Oh, right. She doesn't even have a phone. I had to call her through FaceTime. It was a bit weird. Do you have to make an appointment? Is it by appointment?

Yeah. Much like your message. You know, guys, you all, who's with me, right? Who's with me? Yeah, half hour, hour, whatever you use. Just rip the little tag off a girl. So anyway, I had to call my daughter and I was like, I'll record it. But she's very committed to the role play.

Have a listen. Hi, this is Bracelet Thing. Well, Bracelet Thing, sorry. Hello, Bracelet Thing. Just wondering if I can get a bracelet made, please. Oh sure, what's your name? My name's Ben. You had a lot of business? Yeah, quite a lot these days.

Quite a lot these days. What sort of customers? People that want bracelets. Oh yeah, okay. You sound very familiar, have we met before? Maybe I've seen you around. Can I have a yellow and purple please? You can do that. Where is your address? Kind of just opposite where you are. So anyway, so you have to go through all the ring, but very committed to the role play. That's what I loved about it. Like pretending we know each other was a whole thing.

Had to hand over your credit card details. Yeah, all sorts. But it made me think when you're a kid, that's the thing, it's the beauty about kids. They just love committing to role play. I used to weirdly play cricket out by myself, commentating and playing out in the backyard,

you know, for hours, bowling a ball against the thing. And you're like, why did I do that? But that's what you did as a kid. Hold on, so you were bowling,

batting and commentating. Well, I'd bowl against a wall of boys coming in now, you know. And then it would hit the wall of the Australia back. Yeah,

catch it, it'll come back, it'll run, they'll make up. You're like, why did I do that for hours? I did the same thing. I'd dress up like Andre Agassi. Did you with a bandana?

Play tennis, put a bandana on. Because he used to wear white tights, white Nike tights. But I couldn't afford white Nike tights, so I just put on mum's white pantyhose. Play tennis against the brick wall. Yeah. What losers we were. I know know that's what you're doing

But that's what I'm doing I know Poppy My daughter Poppy Committed to an Australian accent For like five days It felt like Steve I was living with Steve Irwin I didn't think she was going to drop it

But you're right It's fun to do It's kind of the beauty It gives a bit weird Of the oldie you get To do role play That's right Although there are a lot of things around town.

You just rip off a little tag, you'll find out. I'll show you where they are. The Hits. For more podcasts from The Hits Network, check out iHeartRadio.co.nz.